The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities are completely coincidental. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex. If such content offends you leave now. The author maintains all rights to the story. Do not copy or use without written consent from the author. Write Bobby at brokendreamboi@yahoo.com with your comments.
A Life So Changed 07
Jared and I made out for a long time before going to the party. His parents left at like five, but the party didn't actually start until six. We both didn't want to go that early; making out seemed to be our only option.
"So, you still nervous?" Jared asked me on the way to his aunt's house.
"A little bit, but not as much as I was yesterday." I said.
"Ah, shit, I forgot that I have to get gas. You don't mind do you?" he asked me.
"Nah, are you almost empty?"
"Ha, no. I never let my tank get below three-quarters."
"Oh, is there a reason?"
"Well, if you let the gas get too low the fuel injector starts to suck up gunk from the bottom of the tank."
"Really, hm."
He turned into a little gas station and hurriedly filled the tank. But as he was doing that I noticed a man popping open a can of beer. Beer hasn't ever been my favorite, but it's alcohol, right? The sight of that sent a cold chill down my spine...again.
"Okay, let's get rolling." Jared snapped me back into this world. I hadn't even heard him get in. Man, I think I'm starting to draw back into my bad habits. Maybe it's just a phase of quitting.
"Great,"
Jared made small talk on the rest of the way to his aunt's house. When we got there the first thought that ran through my mind: fortune must run in the family; her house was just a bit smaller than Jared's. One thing that was different was that there were two security offices instead of one. I thought that was a bit odd, but whatever. Of course, my curiosity arose and I had to ask.
"Jared, why does your aunt have two security offices?"
"Well, she...I think...I don't know." he laughed. "I think she just likes extra security."
"That's cool," He pulled up to one of the windows and started talking to the guard.
"Hey, Eddie," he said. "What's doin'?"
"Eh, nothing really. Go on in." Eddie replied.
"Thanks, man."
He pulled up in the driveway and shut the engine off. After he stepped out of the jeep and shut the door, it started to roll backwards.
"Shit, I forgot the parking brake." he said urgently. He quickly jumped in and pushed the brake down. "How the hell do I forget the parking brake after driving a stick for six years?"
"Babe, you've only been driving for like...a year and a half." I said, hopefully not bursting his bubble.
"Legally," he laughed. "My parents started teaching me early. One day I told them I wanted to ride a stick." Jared started to laugh hysterically.
"You're kidding?" I laughed as well.
"Nope, then they realized that I was talking about a car. Then again, I wasn't that far off from the truth." he said quietly, winking at me as well. I blushed and turned away. He ran back up next to me and connected his arm with mine. A huge smile suddenly plastered on his face.
As we got up to the doors my stomach started to hurt, major. When he rang the doorbell, my stomach hurt worse then before. But the pain was really bad as soon as the doors opened.
"Hello, Jared,"
"Hey, Mr. Oswald." Jared replied. We walked in and Mr. Oswald took our coats. I could here laughter coming from a room farther into the house. "So, is everyone in the kitchen?"
"Yes, sir, they are. Right this way." Mr. Oswald said. We followed him into the kitchen where we were greeted by laughter and chatter among quite a few people, at least thirty. And that may or may not seem like a lot, but this was just supposed to be family, or so I thought.
"Oh, good, you've finally come." Angela said, trying to regain composure. She was crying she was laughing so hard. "Come on in,"
Right when we walked in everyone continued to do their thing, but also looked at us. The butterflies in my stomach transformed into birds. I hated being stared at and this was definitely no exception. I even saw a few people giving us dirty looks. What the hell is that all about? Isn't this all family?
"Hey everyone," Jared said. "This is my boyfriend, Kevin."
"Hi,"
The laughter died down, quickly. Now I could really tell that everyone was staring. Jared looked a bit confused by this situation it seemed. Maybe he thought that it'd be a magical event where everyone would accept me. Ha.
"Well," Angela said. "Where is that crazy aunt of yours? She has been dying to meet Kevin." She turned around and started to leave the kitchen. Paul stood up and hugged Jared then me. At least three people in this house didn't hate me.
"Ahh, there he is!" a woman screamed. She came running through the crowd of people and grabbed Jared in a hug. I took a step back with a smile on my face. I could clearly see that she loved him, a lot.
"It's nice to see you again, Aunt Julia." Jared coughed.
"Oh my, it must have been months ago since the last time I saw you." she said happily. She pulled back from Jared then looked at me.
"This is Kevin, auntie." Jared said.
I smiled meekly to her and stuck out my hand. "It's nice to meet you."
"I'm a hugger," she said, before pushing my hand aside and hugged me, but softer than Jared. I returned the hug and smiled at Jared. "Well, it certainly is nice to meet you. Jared and I have talked on the phone a few times and he told me about this boy who is his everything. And my God, I love your hair!"
I giggled and replied, "Thanks,"
"Yes, well, don't be shy you two. There is plenty of food and gossip going around so grab your piece of both."
And we did just that. Julianne had quite the food selection. There were enchiladas, tamales, tacos, orange rice, burritos, hot dogs, and pizza. I started with one plate, but ended up with three. She also had many selections for us to drink. As I moved down the row of drinks I froze at something I never thought I'd be fact to face with again: alcohol. Wine, to be specific; there was also champagne and various liquors. I couldn't move my eyes away from the bottles even as Jared stood next to me, looking at my face then at what I was staring at.
"Babe..." he said quietly.
"Uh...uh...I...I...wasn't going to drink any." I stuttered very nervously. I grabbed a cup of cider that was further down the counter then followed Jared in trying to find somewhere to sit. As I was following him around I saw more alcohol. His family was drinking wine...champagne...and here I am trying to quit. It's taking a lot of self-restraint from going and just taking a sip from anyone's cup.
Jared and I finally found a table in the dining room that wasn't being used. Most of the guests were seated in the kitchen, but there were others elsewhere in the house. We sat and ate talking about our Christmas. Of course, we were also eavesdropping on the conversations being held in the kitchen. Some were funny and some were serious, but laughter still filled the air.
I was getting nervous; not by his family, but by how I reacted to seeing the alcohol so close to me. I was so close to grabbing some, too close. But at the moment I couldn't concentrate on the alcohol...just in the next room...sitting on the counter...ah, damn it. Food. That's what will help me. I was finished with my three plates any ways so this is how I can distract myself.
Walking back in the kitchen, of course, the laughter once again lightly died down when I went back for seconds. I got a few weird looks and even a few curious looks. Maybe it was the way I am dressed, or maybe it's the way I'm eating. What ever the way I really don't appreciate it.
"Jared, why are some of your family members staring at me? At us?" I asked him when I got back to the table.
"Well, I think it's because of the gay thing. Sure, my parents and aunt are okay with it, but that doesn't mean all of my family are gay-accepting." he explained. He looked down at his plate and pushed food with his fork. This obviously wasn't the easiest thing for him to talk about.
"I love you," I said softly.
He looked back up at me and smiled. "Yeah, I know."
"Conceited,"
"No!" he laughed.
We finished eating then went in the kitchen. Thankfully, there weren't as many stares as there was earlier. Maybe Angela or Paul said something. What ever was done or said was greatly appreciated by me.
An hour must have passed before I was finally growing comfortable in this environment. Jared was laughing as well as myself. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves enough to not stare at us.
"So, Kevin, what do you do in your life?" I was suddenly asked. However, I have no idea who this was. Thank God for Jared, though.
"Kev, this is my mom's brother, Michael." Jared said into my ear.
"Well...I, um..." I started, but what do I tell him? I'm a recovering druggie and alcoholic? Oh, and don't forget smoking. But someone else answered for me. And this was again not appreciated.
"Oh, Michael, hasn't Angela told you?" an older woman spoke. Michael shook his head and then looked at Angela.
"Mom, don't do-" Angela tried, but her mom cut her off.
"Kevin here is a recovering alcoholic, drug user, and smoker. He's been receiving counseling and everything."
The room suddenly got deathly quiet. Angela looked at, I'm guessing her mom, with extreme anger. Jared looked mortified at his grandma. Julianne was packing food up for her guests, but walked nearer us after that was said. I on the other hand felt incredibly embarrassed and ashamed. Everyone again was looking at me. This time they looked at me with true uneasiness. I just looked at the ground telling myself not to cry, not to cry.
"I have to go, it is getting late." I said in a very hushed voice. This was the second time today that I hurriedly walked out of a house, or at least tried too.
"Kevin, wait," Jared said loudly.
I couldn't stop though, not in that house. I reached the door and tried opening it, but it was locked and I couldn't figure out how the hell to open it. That's when the dam busted. Tears very freely broke from my eyes and trailed down my cheeks. Resting my head against the door I felt arms try and wrap around me. A certain cologne suddenly floated in the air, not to strong, but strong enough to smell with certain classification. It was Jared. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him.
"I'm sorry, Jared. But I'm quitting that stuff. I'm so sorry for that." I cried furiously after being in his arms.
"Shh, I know you are. But you know what?" he asked me.
"No," I sniffled. "What?"
"I don't even care about that stuff Kevin. When I look at you all I see is you. Not what you've done in the past. Just you. The most loving, kind, sweetest, and caring boy I have ever known. And don't even get me started on how cute he is." he giggled lightly.
I giggled in reply, but said nothing else. He just held me in his arms. We stood by the door just listening to the chatter that was happening. But as I listened more intensively, I could tell this was no ordinary chatter. No. This was arguing. And then I heard my name being thrown about.
"You know what? You don't need this right now. I'm going to go ask my aunt if we can go in one of her guest rooms. I'll be right back, babe." Jared said. It was hard for me to let him go, but I had to.
"All right,"
He walked away and entered in the kitchen. The talking didn't even die down at all. But whatever, right? Who cares if they're talking about me? I...do. Obviously I'm not accepted into this family as of yet. A few minutes later Jared walked back out and took my hand, leading me upstairs into a nice room. It was kind of plain, but accented with warmth.
"Argh, I forgot my water. I'll be right back again, babe. Go ahead and lie down and get comfy." Jared said warmly. But before he could leave I gave him a quick kiss. He smiled at me and wiped more tears away, then turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
I took notice of the room. It wasn't that plain after all. Everything was white, or a lighter color. A flower pattern was on most everything; pillow cases, comforter, curtains. It was very nice and homey kind of room.
I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. My mind was numbing for the first time since at the restaurant. The sight of those people drinking and smoking. Then the guy at the gas station with that beer...
No. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be quitting all that.
"Okay, I'm back." Jared said. I could hear more arguing before he shut the door behind him.
"I missed you," I said.
"Aww, I missed you too." he said with a huge smile on his face. I was smiling too until I heard someone shout "no."
"I'm sorry for the trouble I caused, Jared." I pouted.
"Hey, you have been nothing but perfect tonight. If no one else can see it then forget them. My grandma is just prejudice. And my uncle, well, he's just an idiot." Jared said firmly but softly.
"If you say so," I sighed. He sat next to me on the bed and began rubbing my stomach. I looked into his eyes and then mine started to water again.
"Baby, please don't cry. I hate seeing you sad." Jared pouted, wiping tears from my face.
"I'm sorry,"
"No," he laughed very lightly. "Don't be sorry, just be happy. I love you and nothing will change that."
I laughed just as lightly as he did. "Okay, sorry...I mean...okay." I laughed a little harder.
"That's what I like to hear; laughter." Jared said. He leaned down and kissed me. It was the first kiss in hours and I loved every second of it. He pulled away and we stared in each others' eyes. I loved how his were so shiny that I could pretty much see myself in them. They were absolutely beautiful. But the stare fest was cut short as he stood up and took a drink of his water.
"Jared, um, do you want to maybe try something new tonight?" I asked shyly. Jared looked at me in disbelief and just smiled.
"Really?"
"Yeah,"
"Are you sure?"
"Kind of,"
"Oh, no, no, no. You have to be positively sure, babe. I don't want you doing anything you're not ready for." Jared said. He sat back next to me and held my hand. "How about I make you feel incredibly great, then you can decide on whether or not you are ready, okay?"
"You'd do that for me?" I asked, taken aback slightly.
"In a heartbeat, Kevin."
"Well, all right, but are you sure you don't mind?"
He let out a cocky laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure I don't mind."
Jared pushed my bangs to the side so they were out of my eyes. He leaned in and our lips met. I parted my lips so he could get his tongue inside my mouth. Mine went in his as well and we explored each others' mouths; as if we could find something we haven't before. He crept his hands inside my shirt and rubbed my chest. I sat up and he took my shirt off, then I helped him take his off. His body was amazing, so perfect, so smooth. I ran my hands up his stomach to his chest to his neck, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him back onto my lips. He shifted his body so that one leg was on both sides of me.
"Oh, Jared," I moaned as he started kissing my neck. His kissing began to lead downwards across my chest then my stomach and then stopped right above my waist. I lifted my butt up so that Jared could slide my pants off. He started kissing my body and again, but went lower this time. His lips crossed right over my pulsating member. That's when I felt him tug at my briefs. Again I lifted my butt up so that he could take my briefs off.
"One last time, are you sure?" he asked.
"Are you?" I asked back.
"Only if you are,"
"Yeah, but aren't you going to use a condom?"
"I could, but I know that I'm your first as you are mine." Jared said modestly. "Do you want me too?"
"Well, it's up to you." I said shyly.
He moved forward, gave me a kiss, and then went back down. I was looking up at the ceiling when I felt a hand slide up my stomach. That's when the pleasure hit me. Not from the hand, but from something warm and moist. I moaned out loudly and looked down to see Jared's head bobbing up and down. So, this is what a blow job feels like.
"Mmm, Jared," I moaned.
Feelings of pleasure swept over me and I was starting to drool a little bit. I wiped the drool away from my mouth and tried to focus on Jared. But as I was trying to focus, other thoughts popped in my head. Should I return the favor? I mean, I fell kind of ready. And he is doing me. But he said only if I was surely ready.
I began to thrust my hips gently as he continued to suck. He sped up just a little bit, and then at that moment I could tell that the point of no return was drawing nearer. More moans escaped my mouth as I felt more and more pleasure sweeping through my body. Finally, I felt it; that feeling that makes you feel like you're going numb, but in a good way. What ever way you take it, it feels great.
"I'm cumming, babe." I grunted. "Pull...off...yeah." I felt cum flow through my dick and with one last thrust of my hips I unloaded into Jared's mouth. "Ah," I moaned loudly. He continued to suck until I was dry, which in reality was only a few seconds.
"Wow," Jared said, looking up at me with another huge smile on his face. He's been having a lot of those lately.
"Wow? No way! That was so incredible! I've never felt like that before." I panted. "I love you so much, thank you!"
He kissed me on the cheek then laid his head on my heaving stomach. I felt so relaxed and happy. Jared made me feel this way. How could I repay someone who's given me as much as he has? I can't. The only thing I can really offer is my love.
"So, you really liked it? You were ready right?" he asked, leaning up from my stomach.
"Babe, of course I loved it. And yes, I was completely ready for that." I smiled at him.
"Good, I'm glad I can make you feel good." He placed his head back on my stomach. My breathing had finally grown back to normal.
"Well, don't you want me to do you now?" I asked, only slightly hopeful.
"No,"
"Why?"
"Because, babe, I know you're not ready. And you know what? That is totally all right. I can wait for you to be ready. However long it takes just know that I'm right here waiting for it, okay?" Jared said, leaning up again and looking at me seriously.
Tears swelled up in my eyes. "Okay," I said softly.
"I love you," he said after lying his head back down on my stomach.
After a few seconds I replied, "I love you, too."
Hours later I lie awake with Jared's head still on my stomach. He fell asleep a long time ago, but I couldn't. And still can't. I keep thinking of how I reacted to the alcohol when we were getting our food.
I don't understand what is wrong with me. I've never had these thoughts before when I was sobering up. Maybe I'm going through withdrawals. But I can't go back, I can't do it. One thing I have to do right now, though, is go pee. Carefully, I moved a pillow under Jared's head and slid off the bed. Of course, I had to get dressed before I could go anywhere. I walked out and went to the bathroom. As I stood washing my hands I looked in the mirror. My eyes were so red it was scary.
My stomach let out a small growl indicating I haven't eaten in a while. That was unacceptable to my body. So, I had to solve the problem. And I did just that by walking downstairs cautiously. Everyone had gone home. In fact, I didn't see anyone. All the lights were still on, but no one. Perfect. I didn't want to be stuck in an awkward situation. I crept in the kitchen and made a plate of food. One bite after another I began to feel satisfied. But another feeling sank into me. Thirst. I walked over to the cider cups and drank one.
But I saw it. The wine bottles, the champagne bottles, even a few of the leftover liquor bottles. They were all just sitting there looking so innocent. And a glass. But this wasn't a normal glass. It was a wine glass. The glass sat just feet away from me with what looked like chardonnay in it. My legs just started moving towards the glass. The beautiful liquid was getting closer and closer. Before I knew it I was standing right in front of it.
"I can't do this," I whispered out loud. But my body was telling me I could. My arm reached out and grabbed the glass. It was now being held in my hands. "No" I spoke regularly this time. I set the glass back down and turned around. But before I walked away I dipped my finger into the glass and sucked what was on my finger. Oh, God, that taste of alcohol sent a chill down my spine. My eyes shut and I focused on the heavenly liquid that was on my finger. I was so tempted to take a small sip, and I fear I would have, if it had not been for an intruder in m world.
"What are you doing?" an old woman asked.
I was rudely snapped back to reality by someone who was just as rude. "I just came down to get a midnight snack." Literally. It was Jared's grandmother. The same one that made a fool of me only hours ago. "Well, good night." I said, walking past her and back up the stairs.
Oh, God, what have I done? I didn't drink the wine though so it doesn't count, right? I mean if I drank from the glass that would have counted. But all I did was dip my finger in. And I think I deserve at least a small taste like I did. I have been doing extremely well with quitting. I guess more questions will be answered in time. But one question that I thought about worried me: Should I take a drink?
People are complicated creatures, on the one hand able to perform great acts of charity, on the other, capable of the most underhanded forms of betrayal. It's a constant battle that rages within all of us, between the better angels of our nature and the temptation of our inner demons. And sometimes the only way to ward off the darkness...
"Hey, Kev,"
"Ah, I was hoping not to wake you."
"You didn't. I just noticed you weren't here."
"I love you,"
"Come here, I want to fall asleep in your arms."
...is to shine the light of compassion.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to write to my e-mail given at the top of the chapter, or join my group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shades_of_Wisteria/ and leave comments there, or you can do both; whichever you prefer. Thanks!