A Matter of Perspective 8
Chapter 8
Will Waters willw521K@gomail.com Tues, August 12, 10:38 PM
_Ok. Whew. I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Didn't mean to do that. I was so upset earlier that after everything died down around here I laid down and fell asleep. Think my brain just like shorted out for awhile. Anyway, sorry Frank.
Alright, here's what happened and how it all played out. Bear with me here if it gets a little disjointed, it'll all make sense in the end.
1. Went to the church at 10 am as instructed. Total rainy day so didn't have to do outdoor work. Was told I'd be painting classrooms this week but supplies not purchased yet, so ended up cleaning up the nursery and tidying up the sanctuary and weird stuff like re-gluing the binders on some old hymnals and stuff. Lots of BS kinda work. Finally like mid afternoon I was getting bored and irked so I went to Todd's office and asked to talk to him. He wasn't doing shit but still made me wait for him. Asshole._
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2. Finally we sat in his office. He locked the door (?) so we could talk. Right away I felt like I was being interrogated. I'm not gonna go over everything that was specifically said cause I'd be typing all night and it's 1 am, but I'll hit the highlights here. : T- you know why you're here? Me- kinda, maybe. To help me sort things out? T- yes. That and to stop being a sinner and do what's right and be a good kid. Me- I'm not a sinner, I am a good kid. What'd I do wrong? T- The Bible specifically tells us that homosexuals are evil and condemned to hell. Do you want to go to hell? Me- no, but I'm not a homosexual first of all. And besides God loves everyone. T- He doesn't love them. Me- I think he does. T- that's not for u to decide. That's what I'm here for. Me- who made u king!?? T- don't get smart with me! And I don't like your tone. Me- sorry. Why am I really here? T- to start with a full confession of your past sins. You want to tell me how this all started? Your father has already spoken to me, but I want you to come clean because you'll feel better and you can then be forgiven. Me- for what? T- tell me what happened between you and this James boy your father spoke to me about? (OH SHIT!) Me- that was years ago and I was just a kid and it's none of your business. T- it's my business now because your parents want it to be. Now what specifically did u do with him. Me- I'm not talking about it.. We we're kids. We just experimented and fooled around like kids do. No big deal. Can we move on here? T- have you read Leviticus 18:22? Let's read it together (we did). That means u have sinned in God's eyes, child or not, so you will tell me specifically what happened so u can be forgiven. Did u touch each other? Me- I don't care what u say or why u think I'm here, what happened when I was 14 is none of your (POW!!! OPEN HANDED WALLOP ON THE SIDE OF MY FUCKING HEAD!!!!) end of story.
I shouted FUCK U! ran outside and hopped on my bike in the rain and rode down to the river and read your message and messaged u back. Then went home etc etc.
I needa break for some munchies. I'll be back in a few. Will_
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Will Waters willw521K@gomail.com Tues, August 12, 10:47 PM
Ok I'm home. It's a short ride. Mom's gone. Dad just called me too and said he's on his way and to stay and not leave. I'm not going anywhere! ! I'm settling down now, sorry I was freaking out. Adrenaline ya know. I'm so fucking pissed! Not ever going back there don't care bout what anyone says! Dad's gonna be home inna minute. Why why why!??? What the fuck? Why can't shit just go ok?? Might be a while before I get back to u. Lot of shit gonna happen and have to be talked about. And who knows what ma's gonna do to Todd cause she was pissed! ! Good!! Fuck!! Why! I'll be fine and get back soon as I can but might be a while. Love ya. Will
*****
My dad was pissed when I called him and told him what happened. You can see from the email, he told me to wait for him to get home. If you'd have told me what was going to happen next, I'd have never believed you. As far as that goes, Todd hitting me is something I'd have never believed either. That asshole has the nerve to want to talk about my fooling around with James when I was fourteen. He smacks me up the side of the head and he doesn't think that's a bigger sin. He's an adult. I was a kid when James and I fooled around. I am a kid if you call being seventeen a kid. But I'm sure not considered an adult yet. I didn't feel like writing and got a couple emails from Frank.
*****
frankf4321s frankf4321s@gomail.com Tue, August 12, 10:46 PM
To: willw521k@gomail.com
Will
Sounds to me like the pastor was trying to get his jollies off by having you tell him about what you and James did. Locking the door really sounds suspicious. You handled it very well. I'm impressed. You kept your cool. He's so full of shit. And you're right, why did what you did at 14 have anything to do with anything. You were just kids. And you haven't done anything since. It's like he wants you to be a sinner. (What crap).
Leviticus is full of shit. Jesus never once mentioned homosexuality. If it was so important, why didn't he mention it? Those idiots love going back to the OldTtestament. They stoned people for many things in Leviticus that Christians ignore today, but you notice, they sure can't let homosexuality go.
This guy sounds like a way out control freak. I had figured he was a pretty good guy originally when you talked about him and you wre worried about lying to him. But you didn't lie to him. That's good.
I'm anxious to hear more about how your mom and dad reacted.
Frank
*****
frankf4321s frankf4321s@gomail.com Wed, August 13, 9:39 PM
To: willw521k@gomail.com
Will
I think the community is really going to be behind you after all this. I hope your injury isn't more serious than you thought.
Love ya.
Frank
*****
It was hell waiting for my dad to come home. I guess he stopped to talk to the pastor and ended up hitting the asshole. Can you believe it? My dad really loves me. As usual, it seems the important emails are missing so I'm doing my best to piece together what happened between the emails I do have. What makes things even worse is my mom does a lot of volunteer work at the church.
frankf4321s frankf4321s@gomail.com Wed, August 13, 10:45 PM
To: willw521k@gomail.com
Will
I'll be heading to bed pretty soon. I have to drive a little over an hour to meet a new friend for brunch at 10:00. I'm not sure when I'll be back. I'll check my phone, but I don't type on it as well as you do. If nothing else, I'll let you know my plans for the day in terms of when I'll get to my computer.
I was thinking that it's too bad you don't live in a big city with a big school where you would have a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) club. The last school I taught at was over 2500 kids. You could have come out and no one would have cared or even noticed.
But at the same time you wouldn't have this learning experience. I know you wish you didn't have to, but you're growing as a person.
"Each of us must bloom where God has sown us."
Hope you're okay and didn't have to stay in the hospital overnight.
Love ya.
Frank
*****
Will Waters willw521K@gomail.com Wed, August 13, 11:33 PM
_I'm staying home all day Thursday and for several days because I look like hell. The broken blood vessel doesn't hurt but makes me look like a crash survivor!
Hope your new friend is a guy and he's a hottie!! Ur lucky! Have fun! When u get back tomorrow I got some questions, but nuthin that can't wait.
Mom doesn't have any issues with her job at the church. Besides asshole sure is in no position to call any shots now! Might be weird for her but who knows? Maybe he's gonna be outta the picture?
Good news (?). Maybe. My old buddy Gary texted me earlier to see if I'm ok. Freaked me out so haven't answered yet. Happy. Worried. Gonna call him tomorrow. Wow!
Love ya. Max says woof. Ha! Will. Night. Xxoo_
*****
frankf4321s frankf4321s@gomail.com Wed, August 13, 11:40 PM
To: Willw521k@gomail.com
Woof back to Max. Glad to hear your old friend texted you. That's a good sign. The good word is probably gotten out and instead of being on the slow track you are on the fast track. They need to fire the pastor, and I personally think they should know what he was up in order to protect some other poor kid. For all we know he has done something with some of the other kids. It's possible that while James didn't go to your church the two of them had some kind of encounter and that accounts for James' more aggressive behavior for a 13 year old. Just conjecture. Good Night. Talk to you tomorrow.
*****
Will Waters Willw521K@gomail.com Wed, August 13, 11:55 PM
_I know ur sleeping but I can't. I'm really wound up from the day's events plus my stomach is really upset I think from the codeine. Not taking any more of that. Head hurts but I'll deal with it. Feel better knowing nothing is really wrong with me. Max is snoring. Hilarious. Dogs sound funny when they snore.
Frank ur right about this all maybe having a positive outcome, but I'm not happy about all this. I'm really really happy bout mom and dad and me all being cool again. It's awesome. But what a price. Why does shit gotta be so hard sometimes? Everything u have said makes total sense and has helped me feel so much better though. And another good thing too, don't have to go to therapy on Friday now. Still have to probably go, but not for a while. Mom didn't wanna postpone, but dad said I've been through enough in the last few days so I can chill for a few days or a week or whatever. He's turning back into the cool pop I remember from two years ago. It's awesome, and he's like so totally my hero right now too for busting asshole in the face. Yes! That was so cool of him. Mom said violence didn't solve anything, but said it with a smirk! Ha! Hope that fucker is gone for good!_
_I told mom and dad about the locked door thing tonight cause I didn't mention it before. Dad just let out a very long sigh, gripped the steering wheel a lot tighter with both hands, and said "oohkay..." very slowly. I left it at that. I have a feeling that perhaps we're not done talking about asshole by a long shot, and that mom and dad may not be the only ones I'll be talking to about him. Gotta a strange sinking feeling about this Frank. Whatever happens I'm not talking to anyone without dad present. Mom's cool but I want dad.
Wrote a lot in my journal tonite. Haven't done it in over a week, and as u know had PLENTY of topic matter. Not trying to be funny. That journal might end up being really important some day. Started it before I was 13. Haven't always been perfect about it, there some gaps, but I always did my best to fill them in. Pain in the ass cause it's all hand written, but that's kinda cool too. Could be the basis for America's next great novel some day, u never know. You'll be in the forward and probably have a lot of page space in it before it ends too.
I don't know how things are gonna go here in the next few weeks, or even next few days, I just pray things can be kept low key. I'm gonna try to lay low for sure. I know because of Gavin, Jenn's boyfriend, calling her, and my old friend Gary texting me that the rumor mill is spinning at high speed though. I don't like that idea but maybe it'll all be good for our plan like u said. Who knows. Whatever happens there's sure to be some more very interesting journal entries in the near future. Bring it on...
Guess I'll try to get some sleep. I can nap all day. Not going anywhere except back yard with Max for a few days anyways.
Thank u so much for being my ear, shoulder and friend. I really love you. Will._