Admire Me

Admire Me II Part 10

Admire Me 2

Chapter 10. Long Live The A-List

The days were counting down. School was almost over. It was really ending. This was it.

It was the month of May. People were saying their goodbyes. Seniors were sharing stories with each other about their early years in high school. Under classmen were busy talking about what they were doing this summer. Some people were moving away to another school, some people didn't want this year to end. It had been a year to remember. We all wanted an encore.

There was crying, and signing of shirts for memories, scrap books, pictures being taken, everyone was preparing for the end.

The whole school wanted The A-list to autograph something valuable of theirs. Since all three of us were seniors and we wouldn't be here next year. Everybody who was a fan or lived during our reign wanted to have something to remember us by, a souvenir to tell their children of the A-list.  

I didn't allow any of my members to sign anything. I promised the students that we would be publishing an `A-list' instead. It would be a grand closing to a long legacy. It would pack more power than a measly signature. I wanted to leave my senior year letting Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors know who ruled over them.

Who knows, who may take over while I'm gone but I doubt they will achieve what I have.

When it was graduation day, we watched the seniors walk by and accept their diplomas. Parents were clapping in the hot sun, people were crying for no reason. It was boring, and I didn't care about them. None of these people were significant. Half of them I ruined, the others were too loser-like to speak of.

Everytime I saw someone's parents it never amazed me the resemblances and where some of these kids got their idiotic genetics from.

The speeches were nonsense. When everybody threw their hats up I went to find Jade in the crowd of robes. He was standing near Korbyn. When we all met up finally, we agreed to get out of there. The only good things that came out of the whole graduating ceremony was: getting a diploma and leaving.

The best part of school ending was my `A-list' was published. The list I made would make these followers remember me for a life time. When they flip through the year books, their children will be amused by my stories, (and my picture). Their parents will have to tell them stories upon stories of what I did. Every generation will know my name.

I will live on.

My popularity is a legacy.

****

Instead of going to the graduation party that some unimportant scum bag was hosting. My clique went to Jade's house. At Jade's house we conversed about a lot of random topics. Anything was better than a lame party with a bunch of kids we barley knew.

Korbyn took off his shoes, politely asking me to lay down with him in Jade's bed. I didn't have to think, I took his offer quickly.

We both laid there as he whispered suave arousing words in my ears. It bothered me that I still didn't know what was wrong with him these past few days. He wasn't himself.

He squeezed me into a gentle cuddle. The feeling of his rippled firm abs rubbed my lower back. He had this feeling coming from his body that made me feel like I was flying.

We became comfortable in that moment. We ended up sleeping in Jade's bed. Korbyn had me locked tight in his skinny arms. He wouldn't let go. I tried going to the bathroom a couple times but I couldn't. His arms tightened at any signs of me leaving.

If he felt a slight nudge from me, he automatically pulled me closer to him grumbling. Jade couldn't help me get loose because he was on the phone talking to the mystery guy again.

The days following that, Korbyn continued his overly polite manners. I still didn't get it.

I waited until a bright sunny morning to surprise him. It was something I regularly didn't do. Jumping up unannounced and showing up on someone's doorstep. On the Inside of my gut I kept having a hard, scary, weird feeling. I thought if I surprised him today, maybe it would put him in a more talkative mood.

I know he would love to see me knocking on his door early in the morning. It was something I was doing just for us. For our relationship's connection to reopen. I planned to spend the entire day with him.

We don't have school anymore. We graduated, both of our schedules were clear. Not only for those reasons but I thought long and hard about him, and I declared he was a good boyfriend. My decision was settled that today, after we spend time together he would take my virginity.

A special gift I have kept to myself. A gift I preserved for the right guy. Something so sentimental and precious was all going to him... I actually believe I am making the right decision.

He always asked me could he be the man that took my `V card' today I will grant him his wish. I would  all be in the surprise of the day.

Jade woke early that morning. He knew everything about what I decided to do, and he supported me. Being the awesome friend he was, he also volunteered to drive me to Korbyn's house.

It was 8:05am the sky was perfectly shining. The air was fresh blowing breezes under white clouds. Jade was driving so calmly. There were a few spurts of conversation here and there nothing major.

This was a perfect day. It was the best start of a day I have had in a long time. There were so many signs telling me I would lose my V card, on this beautiful day. It couldn't have been a better day to pick. I am going to remember this for years to come.

The wheels of the car slowed down and the car began to creep along the rest of the way. Then then the expedition stopped and Jade looked at me.

The curious look in Jade's face was as if he was asking me `What is going on here?'

Glancing beyond the pool, I searched beyond the trimmed grass, until my eyes adjusted enough for me to see a man walking out of the house carrying two suit cases.

Now I was sharing the same curious expression Jade had.

What was going on here?

Jade immediately shut his engine off. I heard an engine still humming in front of us. It was coming from the black car sitting on the shoulder of the street parked a few feet in front of us. the black car was as close as a car could park to the house.

As the man carrying the suit cases made it to the black car, he lifted the trunk shoving the suitcases in one by one.

Then before I could stop myself from losing my cool, everything dawned on me.

Wait a second... this isn't so... say this isn't so!...

Jade gave an astonished gasp then he lowered his head to the steering wheel. He noticed what was happening here the same time I did.

Suddenly, I felt like I was being left behind. I couldn't take this! Not on a perfect day! Not after all my plans I made! It was still early, it wasn't that time yet!

I sprung out of Jade's car slamming the door as hard as I could. Jogging to the trimmed grass area near of the stone pathway of Korbyn's house. When no one came out of the French doors I ran to the black car to peer inside.

This can't be happening! Today was too perfect to be soiled. It was my lucky day. Everything was going to be better after today! EVERYTHING!

Looking inside the black car, I didn't see Korbyn in there either.

Where is he? Where is Korbyn? He has to explain this to me! He owes me that much. This is not fair, it hurts.

The man carrying the bags was the only person sitting in the car. He was behind the wheel with the engine still on. Whatever was happening here, the driver was still waiting on something too.

I crossed my arms standing near the black car waiting... waiting to see what transpired next. Waiting to see if I would ever get real answers.

Jade kept giving me sorrowful faces from the windshield of his car. He looked like he was hurting for me.

I moved to the trunk of the car and I settled there with my arms folded feeling anger rival with disappointment, huge mixtures of shame.

I waited there.

I stood there.

Not knowing if I was waiting in vain. If I was too late. I waited for...

A door shut.

Someone came walking out of the house. It was Korbyn. He had his back towards me as he locked his French doors using a key. His head was down as he walked over his lawn, he seemed in a daze, he was unfocused.

"Korbyn!" I shouted sounding wounded. I could feel so many things. None of them felt like perfect.

"Br-Bray...Braylon." Korbyn stammered in confusion. It's weird how he couldn't say my name all of a sudden. "What are you doing here? I..."

"Oh. Really? What am I doing here?" I spat sarcastically. No matter how I tried to stay calm my temper kept breaking free. I wanted answers but when I opened my mouth words I wasn't expecting flew out.  

Korbyn stopped where he was for a moment. Like he was weighing things out, thinking things over in his head. After Taking a few steps we were finally face to face. Standing behind the trunk of the black car.

"I called myself trying to surprise you. Trying to come over, trying to show you how much I care. I planned to spend this beautiful day with you." I left out the virginity thing. I was so angry I thought if I mentioned it, it would make me look so freaking stupid.

"Wait." He tried to stop me from ranting.

"I was trying to make our relationship better! I was dedicating time to us!" something inside of me was breaking. I could hear weeping in my chest. "I was doing my part. I was giving one-hundred percent."

"I know, I know, just wait." He said with his hands motioning for me to take it easy... but I couldn't.

"How dare you? How could you?" I went off. My sight was becoming blurry, there was a feeling that soared through me like I was about to faint any moment. Things were breaking... "All this time you had, you couldn't talk to me? You kept wasting time staring off when you could have been telling me how to make things better." Something was truly broken.  

"Okay, I was-"

"You have betrayed me... you have betrayed my trust, my heart, my feelin-"

"Braylon, listen Okay!" He pleaded reaching out for me wanting to pull me in, he dropped his hands to his sides when the driver turned around in the car to stare at us. He couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take it anymore. We were just standing there, he seemed like he didn't know what to do or say.

I skulked with my arms folded. I had to hear him out. Regardless of how awful this morning turned out.

"Please don't look at me like that Braylon. Please." Korbyn's green eyes trembled a little. I could see from his posture that this reaction I was having, was taking a toll on him. "I never betrayed you."

I didn't believe him once again. It was back to the old days in my mind. I couldn't get myself to think anything else. "Is this why you asked me to be with you again?" I was raging. It hurt so bad, I couldn't contain anything. "Where are you going?"

He paused staring at me. I could see his heart literally hammering behind his shirt. He opened his mouth then stopped for a second. Then he spoke. "I'm trying to explain."

"Explain." I said in a lower voice. Trying not to look in his eyes for answers, then my feelings would resurface all over again. It was difficult. I wanted to vomit.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know how to tell you." Korbyn's model like face portrayed remorse.

So he didn't know how to tell me, huh? But he knew exactly how to hurt me. I feel so dumb. How could I fall for this? I came to his house thinking about giving him my all. I wanted to show him what he meant to me. It is so wonderful in return I get this.

"I knew this day was coming. That's why I kept staring off during our time together, and our dates." The corners of his mouth began to pull down. He looked like he was fighting tears too. "I tried to make dates... I really tried. I did all the things a boy would do for another boy he cared about." His voice was breaking down during his explanation. It was even harder hearing the truth.

The driver was peeking again being nosy.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I said in a harsh whisper. "You could have given me a warning or something."

"I didn't know how. I didn't want to hurt you either..."

"Don't give me that `I didn't want to hurt you' crap!" I objected. I was so wounded by his actions that tears tried to arise every second blurring his appearance. "You sat there quietly, staring off on all of our dates, when you could have told me, or spent time talking and enjoying each second of me."

"It was hard for me to look in your face and say something like that!" Korbyn admitted trying to reach out for me again. He wanted to grab me so that he could get me to understand, but the driver kept watching so Korbyn slid his hands in his pockets. "I have never cared for someone so much. I didn't want our last days to be spent moping and sad. I was quiet because I didn't know how to word any of this. I couldn't find the right words to make leaving you okay."

I heard him but I didn't want to hear him. I wanted to know why but I didn't care to know why. I was in a phase of trying to take on the worst thoughts the brain could give, and battling the worst feelings the emotions could produce.

"You could have told me!" I yelled before I knew what I was yelling. "You could have told me I would be alone this summer! You could have told me where you were going!" I stopped for a minute to suck my tears back even further. "You could have told me... ..."  I couldn't finish.

I could hear my heart trying to crack because Korbyn had deprived me of a full relationship. Pictures of all the overly polite things he did for me showed themselves in my head one last time. Then they began to shred themselves from my memory.

 "You know what, you are right." He made known trying to comprehend what pain I was feeling. "This was my fault. I called myself trying to secure you from pain, trying to protect you from hurting in our final days... all I did was cause more damage." He started to scratch the spikes in his head due to all the tension he must have been under. He kept sighing and blowing out air to keep his feelings and tears in check. "I truly didn't want to hurt you Braylon. I really didn't... I wanted our last days to be our best. I wanted to leave you with feelings of amazement and happiness."

There was silence. Then understanding set in.

I collected myself after hearing him out. I wasn't feeling better about the situation, but the way I was taking everything changed.

As we assembled ourselves, the air of emotion stayed. Our worlds were aligning again for only the short minutes I had left with him.

"Where are you going?" I hesitantly asked. I tried to make my stare concentrate on the street below. My eyes filled with every good image that I had of my relationship. I started regretting the day I didn't eat the cupcake he gave me. I started to regret fussing at him for knocking on my door that one morning before school.

"I'm going to college in New York." He told me grievously. His expression flat of everything. "My dad wants me to go to college where he went. I didn't want to go. I tried talking my way out but it was already done... he started packing for us to leave weeks before school was out." Korbyn made clear.

"Shouldn't you be already gone then?"

"Actually yeah." He said in muted tones through his braces. "The only reason I haven't left is because of you."

"Me?"

"I told my dad I wanted to stay as long as I could, I was trying to squeeze in as much time with you as I could. You were the only thing keeping me from leaving." Korbyn's face was more innocent than I ever seen. He was telling the truth. The out pour of his pure intentions were visible. "My luck ran out... I ran out of time. My dad wants me there, no exceptions." He said, his lips partly closed.

"So you were just going to leave me? You were going to leave without saying `bye'?" I couldn't be mad with this new sadness settling deep inside.

"I wanted to make it easier on both of us... or at least that's what I thought I was doing. I thought if I told you, it would be a final goodbye for us. I wasn't ready to face it. I don't think I could live with myself If I said `bye'." There was a lifeless quality about his appearance now. All the secrets were out in the open.

"Why did you say, `final goodbye'?" I added sensitively.

Shifting his legs, and shoving his hands harder into his pockets, "Because," a complicated glare crossed his eyes. "I'm not coming back." He answered frustratedly. "I hate thinking about it. I wasn't expecting you to be here today. I really, really, didn't want to tell you that I wouldn't even be able to visit you... it's already getting harder for me, as we speak."

I didn't know how to handle myself. It's insanity to find out someone is leaving you for good. No visits or anything. New York was so far from Texas. I wanted to kill him for not telling me: `I was living in my last days with him.'

Then again, how do you prepare for something like this? Sometimes, I have the idea no matter what route someone takes in a matter like this one, you could never fully prepare for the devastating blow.  

My mouth opened. I attempted to say something but nothing wanted to come out. After three tries my words tumbled forward, "What are we going to do about us? Our relationship?"

My last concern. My last hope. The last thing we had together. Something I loathed bringing up because the possible answer it held.

His green eyes went from solid to liquid, instantly. He parted his red lips to say something but choked. Korbyn was sharing the same damage I had spearing through my core. I can at least say he cares. It almost seems pointless to spend the final minutes of our time mad at him. I already wasted the days it appears.

"I want you to break up with me." Korbyn offered in a low sullen grunt.

"Wait, what? Break up with you?" This was worse than I imagined.

"Yes. You have to. We have to... I won't be able to care for you like I want to when I'm in New York. All that attention, all the affection, protection... I hate it but I'm useless from distance." The sad complaint vibrated in his throat. Taking the Versace shades out of his back pocket he covered his promising green eyes. "I broke up with you like an idiot on Valentine's day." he confessed. "Today, I want you to break up with me because this is all my fault. I have been over sighting things, and carless."

"Kor-Korb-Korbyn, you don't mean that." I tried to bandage his self-damage. I wanted him to reconsider his decision.

"I deserve it." He let loose. "It's a way for you to get even with me for being that stupid jerk to you from the very first day, all the way until today." His face started to change. New lines were showing in his cheeks that were never there before. He was trying his best not to cry.

"This isn't about getting even Korbyn." Everyone knows I would do anything to get even, but this wasn't something I wanted an evenness for.

"I don't know. I'm trying to make it easier for us to part, so you can leave without ever having to blame yourself for anything." He gloomily murmured. "Maybe when you break up with me, I will experience all the hurt I put you through.

He raised a finger and began naming things. "Like: Being your enemy, giving you those glares, laughing at you when you spilled that Gatorade, keeping Andreas gift, and breaking up with you, not telling you I was leaving for good." He ended. "I wasn't as good to you as I should have been."

"It's okay, every relationship has problems."

"I deserve this one." He wouldn't let go.

He didn't see that I didn't want him to have all that pain I harbored... but with him leaving I didn't have a choice. He's leaving me forever.

"It's... It's... It's over." I clenched my eyes to get out the whimper. I had a feeling I hit the ground and all the breath was knocked out of me. I tried to fight myself. I didn't want to say we were done but it was what I had to do. It's something Korbyn wanted. All my hurt over the year, the pain, he wanted to bare it.

Through the shades Korbyn's expression couldn't hold up anymore. There was a rough wind that messed with his hair but he stood frozen and stalk still.

Although he injured my heart. I never wanted to put him through what I went through.

There was a fake, smile he put on. The pain of me saying `it's over' was something he thought he could be ready to handle. He was hurting so bad he tried to smile again and it faded.

His back slumped over for a second, and he rested his face in one of his palms. I heard sniffling as his shades moved up slightly. Tears were coming but he was wiping them with his fingers.

I guess Korbyn wanted this punishment. Not only because I felt it before, but he wanted something in return for not telling me he was leaving me.

In my heart I knew, I was only a part of his past now that the relationship is over.

Korbyn sniffed, hastily walking up and grasping me. He wasn't thinking about the driver watching anymore. He didn't care. He had to touch me, he need it more than me.

At once he caressed me in a gentle hug. It was a huge constrained affliction there. I burned with passion as well as he did for me. Our bodies felt like they wanted to kick and scream. They rubbed and touched for a fiery minute.

Our bodies knew something as much as our minds. It was activated once we touched. They wanted to weep. My body wanted to cry because it realized Korbyn's body would never come back to touch or nurture it again.

Warm wetness slide down my cheek. They were not my tears, they were Korbyn's. I heard him let out a small panting wind as he touched me for the last time.

"I Love You."

He declared to me as he smothered his beautiful face in my shoulder.

I couldn't believe my ears. All this time, I didn't know he loved me. It matters but knowing that he was leaving I can't hold on to it too strongly, it would only hurt. If only I had more time with him.

He pulled away finally. He stared at me for a long time. It was like he was taking a picture of me in his head.

I haven't had the chance to fall in love. I was sure I could have if he would have been able to stay. I didn't want to say, `I love you' back to him because I wasn't completely there. It would haunt me in my sleep if I lied. I didn't know what to respond with.

I hope one day love gives me another chance. A love that begins in me. I want to know where love will be waiting, will love ever find me?

Korbyn turned around from me pacing to the car. He never turned around to see my face. I know he thought if he looked back he would probably never leave. Looking back would only make a hard goodbye even harder.  

When he got in the car the driver started the engine again. I watched the back of Korbyn's head waiting for him to turn around and look at me, or at least wave, but he never did.

His driver drove him off until he was out of view. The realization sunk in. I knew right then, Korbyn was gone... for good.

I walked to Jade's expedition. When I got inside I told him everything. All the words Korbyn and I had, the feelings that stirred the air around us while Jade drove us around. He almost started to shed tears.

"Oh my god Bray." He sniffed holding himself together. "I don't think I could take that. If I were you, I would go home and cry in my pillows for months."

"I know. It is hard to deal with, but I will find a way to live with myself. I always have." I replied hearing my voice lower.

When Jade gave a guilty look I knew he had something more to say. Whatever it was, wasn't good.

"By the way," he stopped to look at me for a second. "I'm leaving for college too." Was all he said. I couldn't take anymore hurt. I know everyone had to grow up and have a life but I wanted our A-list to be forever.

I didn't reply to Jade right away. He knew I needed time to cope with my new world without him being near me. I should have known my clique was over when Korbyn left. Hearing Jade give me his notice for leaving I knew it was official.

My beta. Leaving me. There was no easy way to put it. Tt was no easy way to accept it.

At least he told me before hand, was all I thought to myself It was the only positive thing in his whole announcement. I don't think there will be anyone else in the world who will stick by my side like Jade did. He was amazing. You could ask him anything about me and he would know the answer.

It was natural order for him to abide by me. It was something we both knew from the start. He never fought it. He just went with it. Our friendship worked best because we happen to be opposites of the same.

His brown eyes saw me cringing in the passenger's seat at memories of when we first became friends. He wanted to comfort me, I know he did. As we both knew there are some feelings words can't comfort directly.

It seemed as if life was taking away everyone that I held close. Jade leaving me was the worst feeling imaginable.

I was being dealt too many blows at once. I needed a break. I wanted to heal. I wanted to be somewhere else. A place of security, closure, and happiness where I can let the pain out, and begin recovery.

Jade made a few jokes to try to get my mind off of things. He was really trying to warm me up. When he saw it didn't have an affect he tried something new. Something he always did.

"I think it's time to tell who the mystery guys is." Jade begin talking.

There was a shocking whack that hit me over the head. I totally forgot about the mystery guy. I always wanted to know. Hearing him bring up the `mystery guy' made me leave the feelings alone temporarily.

"Who is it? I have been dying to know." I was sounding desperate but who cares.

"You might think this is weird, but..."

"Come on, spit it out." I was impatiently bouncing in the seat.

"Okay, it is..." he kept driving with a twitching grin on his face. "Ryan."

"Ryan!" I exclaimed. Wow Ryan. How could I have not guessed that?

Jade nodded while steering. "Yes Ryan... I'll tell you how it happened." He smiled lightly. "You know he is living with Keylan now?" he began to gossip. Which was another of his traits I was going to miss.

I still didn't know what I was going to do without my ex-clique members. They were both taking brand new paths of life. Paths that had me nowhere in them.

Soon I let Jade drop me off at home. I told him this was a going to be a hospital for my damaged heart. I knew I was always welcomed here. I would always be invited. There was security within the walls. There was closure within the surroundings, and I knew happiness was in the heart.

A true recovery could take place at this home. It circulated with currents of healing. When I got out Jade's car, I knew I would be okay. My home, my sanctuary would take me in, and take care of my wounds.

The pieces that were left, will find their way back to their rightful fitting places. I could already feel it happening as I approached the door.

I'm going to let myself rest after what hit me today. I can still hear the explosions and feel the impacts of pain, anger, hurt from Korbyn. The excess damage was innumerable.

I jiggled the door knob. It was locked.

I slide the key into the doorknob. Surprisingly it worked. I twisted the key until the knob was free, proceeding to unlock the top lock's bolt when I finished.

I wiped a tear from my eye shutting the door behind me quietly. I came in the house seeing walls of white. Very blank. There were no decorations anywhere. There was a single table in the middle of the living room. A few other furnishing items were scattered about in places.

It wasn't the best but it could be. This place could use a makeover.

I walked into an empty bed room. Then I stepped into another bedroom. Everything was empty mostly. I would find odd decorations in some parts of the house that shouldn't go where they were placed. It was humorous to see.

Everything was fresh. Everything was a brand new start here. Although there wasn't much I knew, this had strong potential. I still felt welcome. I knew someone here would understand what I felt.

Strolling into the empty bedroom I was surprised and happy to see someone wrapped in sheets. A burst of sudden relief filled my chest to see Mitch was still around.

He told me not long ago he would get an apartment and it would be our home. The day he left a duplicate of a key hanging in my locker I never thought I would use it. The key came with a note taped to it saying: `Whenever you are ready, please come home.'

What a splendid time to use the key. I couldn't have thought of a better reason. It gladden my heart to know Mitch was in my corner from the beginning. Even when I gave up on him, he refused to give up on me.

More than ever, I needed him. I wanted his shoulder.

"Mitch. Mitch. Mitch, wake up." I shook him while sitting on the side of his bed. He rolled over tangling his body in the white sheets. "Mitch, it's me. Mitch?"

He grunted trying to return to his slumber. He looked so magnificent. Brown hair was untidily raked all over his face and the pillow. I never saw him sleep before.

My eyes glazed over shirtless body, realizing I had never known how muscular of a shape he had. His chest was smooth hardness, leading down to his columns of abs.

"Mitchy-Mitch." I said.

Wow this guy was pretty sexy. The baggy clothes and hoodies made it hard to see his stone like muscle structure. I wonder why I never thought to ask him to lift up his shirt?

"Get up... I'm here in our home." I pushed his body forcefully one last time.

Suddenly he did a spin in the covers, turning his body so quick I didn't have a chance to blink. He pulled a knife from under the pillow raising the point to my chin like a reflex.

"Whoa! It's just me. Please calm down!" I panicked trying to calm him. I know not to sneak up on him next time. Mitch stays prepared to kill if necessary. I guess it is his urban nature, but I didn't feel like dying. At least I know the house will be protected when I decide to live with him.

In his half open lids, I could see him recognizing my facial features. "What are you doing here? How did you-" A sleepy frown transformed into a excited moan. He probably thought he was dreaming because a minute later after dropping his weapon, he darted his eyes around in a frenzy.

"You must have forgotten you gave me the key." I smirked holding up the duplicate key. "It came in handy. Especially after what happened today. Which is something I wanted to talk to you about."

"How could I be so dense." Mitch rubbed his tired eyes.  "Wait... does what you have to tell me have anything to do with me?"

"No."

Mitch gave a lazy smile. His lips could barely move after just waking. "Okay, that's cool. I thought I did something wrong."

I patted his bare back with my hand. Staring at his caring, indigo eyes. "You have nothing to worry about. Trust me."

His eyes began opening wider. I forget how beautifully blue his eyes can be.

In a groggy tone he said "Are you staying with me now?..."  

He really wanted this. In the way he asked me I could hear him pleading for me to affirm.

"No. I'm still going to live with my mom and my lazy brother. Ugh." I sighed. "But I'm going to come to `our' house when I need a break from them. Which will be often."

"I understand you. The last thing I want to do is rush you." His indigo eyes flickered, while he raked a hand through his messy brown hair. "I want you to come over anytime. I want you to feel welcome, and know what's mine is yours. When you start getting more comfortable, you can settle in. Then we can start a new life." He paused staring at me for a minute like he said something wrong. "Well at least that's my dream."

"I know, who's to say it won't happen." I encourage him. Earning a big smile from him.

"Don't laugh at me but I called myself trying to fix up our place." His arms were bare with lines of definition. Veins were popping out wrapping around his tight flexed arms as he stretched to yawn. "I'm not good at making things look lively I guess."

I chuckled leaning in a little. "I see that. That means this place could use my skills in decoration. I will have it looking fabulous in no time." I insisted.

"Good. I find it hard trying to do things without you now." He acknowledged. "So since this is the first day of many, I want to start it off by saying `How was your day, babe?' "

I moved closer to him. He began laying back with his arms behind his head, his pits exposed. I was getting distracted as I tried to retell the events of the day. How Korbyn tried to leave without warning, how everything was left when the news of New York invaded our plans.

Mitch and I were back at a beginning. Seeing him there once again listening to my every word, commenting on the situation every so often like back in the days when I rode with him to school. It was almost a remake of our beginning. Maybe we didn't get it right the first time.

This was someone who had my back through the whole adventure. Even when I thought I forgot about him. His Valentine's day gift gave me strength to get over the day Korbyn broke up with me. Now Korbyn leaves me, and Mitch is still here with open arms. Still inviting me into a home he wanted for us, a life he wanted with me. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going anywhere without me.

"Why are you over there?" he said patting the space closest to his side. "Come here."

Without resistance I crawled over the sheets to get in a closer spot next to him. I needed it anyway.

As soon as I was beside him, he grabbed me by my waist tightly pulling me on top of his bare chested body. "There we go. I think that's better."

I blushed at his bravdo. He had a rough touch but with all the gentleness I needed. His fingers glided down the length of my back, softly gripping my spine, and waist with a precision.

"I agree." I told him brushing his hair with my hands. Staring into his eyes getting sucked into a realm of passion, seduction, and protection.

Before I got too aroused by his charms I had to break it. "Can we cuddle?"

"Your wish is granted." He playfully added. His hard arms coiled around me finding their place around the side of my form, when I slide from on top of him, and laid next to him.

He held me snuggly not ever asking for more. I began to realize this was the first time Mitch cuddled with me. Somehow it felt better being in his embrace than anyone else's. I know for a fact Mitch can heal me. Mitch would make sure my heart gets back to normal.

Every word, Every day, Every faint touch, Everything mattered with him. This is how I know he can heal me, he has did it before.

We lie cuddled in his empty apartment in quietness. No distractions, nothing extra just the two of us.

His forearms were locked around my torso. He anchored my back into his body whispering. "What should I do with my life? What should I do next as far as goals and career?"

Mitch wasn't a goal and career guy. It's crazy even hearing him say it, but I know it was me he wanted to provide for, and it was me he wanted become better for. My life, my feelings gave him something to fight for. the main things in life he probably would never think twice about.

I gave him a few useful suggestions. Hoping I would help him.

When I finished I turned my head to the side and he leaned from behind tenderly planting a soft kiss to the lips. Never breaking his embraced cuddle.

I had not kissed this dude in a long time. The way I felt was too awesome. His kiss lasted so long, it filled my lips with excitement. It filled my face with lost sensations. Things that had been so long ago.

There was sucking sounds we made, our lips passing each others in a romantic expression. "That is why I never gave up on you Bray. I will always care about you. I will always need you." Mitch professed in a low thuggish tone that was impossible to evade.

I pecked him on his lips again stealing a kiss. "I must say, I am really liking my first day in our home."

He laughed against my shoulder. I could feel shudders through his body. "You know after having you to myself finally, and cuddling, and kissing, I am having second thoughts about this being our home."

"Wait what?!"

"Yeah," he said talking to me over my shoulder.  "I think this is your apartment really." Mitch informed holding me firmly against his ripped chest. "I just pay the bills."

"Oh," I said feeling the release of stress after realizing he was joking. "I knew that." I smirked back.

"You still have that alpha swag, even though you don't have that clique of yours." Mitch brought up kissing my ear.

Quivers ran down me as he caressed me from behind. Kissing my neck, my ears, and cuddling me with physical desire. I couldn't move. I didn't want to really. I was safe in his care.

"The world changes, seasons change, but me being an alpha won't." I explained. "I will dominate no matter what path life gives to me."

Mitch squeezed my butt, "True that." his voice fell on my ears, "does that mean you are going to make a new clique?"

"Of course... that is, if they qualify." I calmly said. "Maybe I should start with you. Do you want to join?"

He laughed in that deep smokers tone I grew to like so much. "You are one funny guy. You know I would go anywhere you go, and join anything you are a part of." He told me. "IF only you were serious about me joining."

"Hahaha, aww you are too cute." I smiled looking over my shoulder. "When it comes to us being together, don't count anything out just yet Mitchy.

We both laid on our sides. Him behind me with affection. I fed off of his fuel. His presence dripped with energy I needed to carry on. Though things may have ended unexpectedly bad for Korbyn and I, it wasn't that bad. It could have been a lot worse. (Especially if I had not arrived when I did)

Should I let Mitch heal me wholly, then give him another shot?

My feelings are picking up strongly again. I don't know, I guess I have a lot to think about. What's the rush anyway? It's not like he is going to run off in the middle of the day.

I still have a while to figure my heart out.

"Tell me." Mitch said from behind in a whisper.

"Tell you what?"

"What's on your mind? You looked like you were in deep thought just now." He noticed. His indigo eyes watched me carefully. Waiting.  

"Just life. Nothing much." I brushed it off. Trying not to let him in.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do." He leaned against my back to say. The words came out gentle and sweet. "I want you to be happy."

"Aww thanks. You-"

I froze in my tracks. What I was about to say didn't matter. Mitch pressed his lips to mine in a heartbeat.

His Kiss held the power of a grenade. It felt like the same energy of my first kiss. (Which was given to me by him.) He was the first guy I kissed. I will always have an emotional tie with him whether I accept it or not.

Each of his kisses proved something to me. The angle of his lips brought more out of me than I knew was there.

Mitch's hands began to get frisky. Roaming my skin, skimming me with the touch of intensity. Things prickled through my body. The fusion of our lips together made me feel like this was my purpose. As if my lips functionary purpose was to kiss Mitch.

His hands came around and grabbed my chest. I flipped over to face him, and then our lips found each other's at the same time. It was done through nature. Neither of us had to force it, or even move. The world did it for us. A pleasant taste entered my mouth and my heart expanded.

I had a whole lot more to think about now.

Korbyn called me a few days later. He let me know his trip was nice and he made it to New York safely. Korbyn's whole ordeal when he called me was to let me know: `just because he moved doesn't mean we can't be friends.' It was cute. I completely agreed.

He started following me on twitter soon afterwards. Korbyn's main goal was to stay in touch. Try to keep up with me throughout the journey of our lives.

When I told him I might start a new clique. He argued that he was still in the clique no matter how many miles separated us. It was fun to hear him say that. I knew what I created meant something to him. How could I ever forget how he started out in the clique, and how he was a great asset to the team.

Korbyn I won't forget you.

Jade moved away too. He moved to a city that was about fifty miles from where I am. Jade spent his last day with me. It was hard the next day seeing him go. I believe he had the hardest time because he cried. He wouldn't let me go when we hugged good bye.

My beta.

I had to give him a speech about living life, and moving on to greater heights. Because he started second guessing his move. He started to feel like he was backstabbing me just by leaving. He nearly made me cry. His loyalty to me was so deep... he didn't feel like he could be himself without me.

Surprisingly, Ryan was going to attend the same college as Jade. He better take care of my Jade. He was the best beta the world had to offer.

Who knows if I will ever find a stronger clique. Who knows if I will ever find a great beta like Jade, or an enemy gone Romeo. I may never have a set of supporters like I had with those two.

One thing was for sure, I would carry on my alpha legacy.

Everyone seemed to have graduated, and moved on with their lives. While my life was ever the same but it had its twists.

Jason never found out about Mitch's apartment (a.k.a. my second home). My mom kept me cleaning the house from top to bottom. I hated chores, but the cute thing that made me more willing to do them was Mitch coming to our house and helping me clean. It lessened my chores, and gave us some time to do things together.

It probably wasn't the best way to spend time together but it counted.  

When I was done we both would sneak off in his red jaguar. (Which he recently said was mine too.) and ride through the streets of the city. Passing by stores, shops, just us having time alone in the public. Sometimes we would just cruise around with no particular place in mind. Just to clear our heads, and sight see.

Then other nights Jade and Korbyn being gone hit me like a violent collision. I would come to `our' home where he would hold me in his arms until the pain settled down. Until the worst of it was gone.

My life was on the road to a better beginning I could say.

On lonely nights, I wasn't so alone. Anyone could catch me lying in the brave protective arms of the one who could rebuild me through destruction.

Mitch lived to put me back together. He did it every time. I owed him so much more, but all he wanted in return was for me to be near him.

It was late one night after I had another one of my episodes of missing Korbyn. (and Jade) Mitch held me so close I almost couldn't breathe. It felt like he wanted to experience the pain with me.

His almond brown hair was resting on my back. The indigo eyes focused on my back, his fair skin melting with mine. In an unexpected low moan, he whispered, "I'm still falling for you."

He attacked me with a kiss. Breaking my pain, and mind from what was happening. His pink lips contacted mine longing for me.

We both soon feel asleep cuddled together.

One of us falling in love.

The other repairing so that he may love one day. I know since I am an Alpha, I'm going to require more than a lover. More like a super-lover that can handle all of me.

Who knows, it could be Mitch. After all, he was my mental guard... my emotional guard... and my... body's guard.

 THE END

 Thank you all who followed the second book of Admire Me. I hope you all loved this story. Tell me what you thought. By the way, I was able to get copies of Braylon's clique A-lists, that they published before everyone in their school graduated. If you are interested in seeing who all made the lists, just scroll down.

Remember: "Not everyone is A-list material."

Email me: strangestarr77@aol.com

Join my group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/princejoshwritings

The Odd-List

Most likely to be a suicidal bomber – Missy

Most likely to live in a shack and be a prostitute – Hannah

Most likely to become a drug dealer – Andrea

Most likely to have twenty kids – Shonda

Most likely to contract a STD – Kimmie

Most likely to become a dead beat/drunk/ porn addict – David

(List cont.)

The B-List

Most likely to become a rap/hip hop star - C.J.

Most likely to become a politician – Keylan

Most likely to become a millionaire – Ryan

Most likely to go bald by the age of 21 – Sabre

Most likely to become a Body Guard – MITCH

(List cont.)

*The A-List*

Most likely to become a Model – Korbyn

Most likely to become a talk show host – JADE

Most likely to take over the world – Braylon Winters!