Chapter 35: Death and Birth
"You want to drive, or do shotgun?" Dan asked.
Adam was still flipping though the magazine. The idea of his having sex was no more extraordinary, it seems, than a game of poker or watching TV. It was just something else to do in an evening.
"I'll take the wheel," he said to the Sports Illustrated.
Was I bothered that Dan was offering sex with me as casually as he would an extra cookie or a swig of his soda? I surely had been when Brad had offered my services to Doug without my permission. But permission with Dan seemed to be something different. My knees were open to him. I had already given him permission, of a sort. Was it a carte blanche? If he told me to strip naked, drive to the convenience store and offer myself to the clerk, would I do it? He wouldn't do that to me, would he? It didn't matter, I decided. It was not happening then, so I didn't have to worry about it then.
Instead, then, Dan was holding me against him on the bed as he leaned back against the wall. One hand nestled down my shirt playing with my right nipple, the other snaked around my waist and under my shorts to tug at and lightly twist my balls. Adam stood and walked over in front of us.
Again, I was struck by the fact that on a purely objective level he was not the most handsome of men. I did not usually find thin lips, the smallness of his nose, or the few freckles across his cheeks particularly appealing. Dan's visage was more strikingly handsome than Adam's, and if thumbing through a book of head shots, you would be more likely to stop to marvel at Dan's picture. But objectivity was meaningless when faced with Adam. He was a package, from the eyes that read your soul to the mind that manipulated it. Were Matt a dog, he would be a juvenile lab. Were Doug, he would be a St. Bernard. But Adam was a shepherd, sleek and loyal and menacing and dangerous. He was lupine.
From behind me, Dan began to lift my shirt over my head at the same time that Adam reached in and began undoing my shorts from the front. At once I was being stripped at both ends by two men who were equally determined that the piece of clothing they had chosen should come off first. The absurdity of the sideways position this twisted me into made me crack up.
"One at a time, boys!"
"Naw..." said Dan.
"Both together..." said Adam. That they both answered at the same time made me laugh even harder.
"What the fuck?!" I giggled as the shirt and shorts went flying, albeit in different directions, to the floor. "I am not a competition! Even the good kind!"
Dan and Adam shared the same sudden smile and glint in the eye.
"Competition?" asked Dan playfully, daringly.
"Sounds good to me," answered Adam.
"No! You can't do..." My words were cut off as, simultaneously, Dan pushed down on my shoulders and Adam, taking me by the knees, pulled me out and up. Without knowing quite how I got there, I was flat on the sheets with my legs in the air and my ass just over the bed's edge. Still managing to hold me in position, Dan discarded his shorts while Adam let his fall to the floor. They were playing me in unison. In no time, dicks - big hard dicks - were pointing at all available orifices. Dan knelt above my head while Adam stood before my ass, resting the soles of my feet on his shoulders.
"On your mark," Dan said.
"No," Adam said, "your Mark."
"Oh, indubitably!"
"Indubitably!" They were doing Chip and Dale again. But this time, I was into it. I was giddy with laughter, and my ass itched as much as my tongue did.
"Get set,"
"Quite set, thank you very much."
"No, thank you!"
"Oh, no! Thank you!"
"But no, thank..."
"Shut the fuck up and do me!"
"Pushy little bottom, isn't he?" Adam said.
"Now I've forgotten where we were," Dan replied. They both tisked vigorously, very much like a chipmunk would, were a chipmunk actually able to tisk.
"Get set?"
"Yes, yes. I think it was 'get set.'"
"Get set," Dan said. They both pointed their dicks at me - Dan's at my mouth which waited open and salivating below it and Adam's at my ass, which I was desperately trying to relax in preparation for what was, evidently, going to be a dry fuck.
Adam took a deep breath and held it for a second. I braced myself.
"Go!"
"I could go for a sandwich, myself."
"Oh, a sandwich would be good."
To my utter shock, the 'go' was not followed by action. Instead they had continued their shtick without missing a beat. They had surprised the laugh right out of me. I lay there gape-mouthed as Dan climbed off the bed and the two of them started toward the door, each half-naked, ostensibly to go make themselves sandwiches.
"Freeze!" I shouted. They froze, as if kids caught with their hands in a cookie jar.
"Turn!" They pivoted on their heels.
"Move!" They approached the bed sheepishly.
"You," I barked, pointing at Dan, "up here. You," I snapped my hand back to point at Adam, "down there!"
Dan climbed back on the bed and knelt above my head. Adam stood between my spread legs. I raised them and put my heels back on the tops of his pecs.
"Now fuck!" I said, adding, "and as God is my witness, don't you boys make me stop this car!"
They grinned at each other.
Adam brought his right hand to my mouth, cupping it under my lower lip. I spat into it. He applied my saliva to his dick, still rock hard, and returned his hand to my mouth. I gave him another shot, which he used to put another coat on his shaft. The third time, instead of cupping below my lip, he stuck two fingers in my mouth. I coated them liberally with spit, loving, once again, the tang of him.
Adam removed his fingers and began rubbing at my pucker. Now that my mouth was free, Dan moved a little forward and sat on my face. His balls rested heavily on my chin, and I was treated to the funky bouquet of sex that had gathered behind them. I breathed deeply of it and lapped at him. The black hairs that grew from his pale skin scratched my lips. Enjoying the attention from me, he pressed down, wedging my nose between his ass cheeks. I was in darkness, enjoying a total eclipse of his moon.
Meanwhile, Adam had inserted his ring and index finger into my ass and was working at stretching me out. Pushing in to the third knuckle with the two fingers of his right hand, he took his left and began, rhythmically, to slap his right wrist. Each slap jarred the fingers inside me in a deliciously pleasing way. I found my anal ring relaxing. He withdrew to the first knuckles, and began spreading his fingers apart in a victory sign. My ass had become plastic in response to him. I think he could have fisted me had he chosen to.
Dan moved a little forward still and spread his cheeks for me. His pucker was now in range of my tongue, and I dove for it like a Kamikaze. The mossy taste of sex and privacy made me leak. But he was so tight! My tongue hardly dented his ring. Wondering how the boy ever took a shit, I contented myself to work at the outside of him while I continued to try, however unsuccessfully, to breach his defenses.
"You ready, champ?" Adam had removed his fingers from my ass. They were replaced by the blunt head of his nightstick. Adam had that weird ability to aim his dick at things without having to use his hands. I loved to fuck, but there was always that awkward moment while I slid my dickhead around the guy's crack trying to find the magic portal. As a polite bottom, I had even learned to nod and push a little when the guy topping me finally found the mark. But Adam's dick was like a heat-seeking missile. With a rotation of his hips and a flex of some muscle mere mortals couldn't control, it honed in on its target with deadly efficiency. I had seen it happen with Corey, and I knew it had just happened again with me.
Dan removed himself from my face. Backing up a bit, he lowered his dick to my lips. Before giving the green light, I took a moment to lap the drop of precum that had formed at its tip. Savoring the taste of it, I took a deep breath.
"Yeah," I said. "Gimme all you got."
I was expecting, I think, a brutal assault from both ends. It did not happen. Instead, while Dan glided into my mouth, satisfying himself with running his head over the pebbly surface of my tongue, Adam began a slow steady pressure on my ass until, far sooner than I would have expected, the head popped through my sphincter. There they both stopped, allowing me time to get used to them.
But I was having none of their polite patience. While my arms flew up to grab Dan by the hips, I brought my heels off of Adams shoulders and around to the back of his waist. A quick and forceful stomach crunch did the trick. With hands and feet, I pulled them both into me to the max.
"Whoa," said Dan.
"Yeah," echoed Adam.
"I think the little man likes it."
"I think he does."
"Should we give him a nice ride, then?"
"Oh do, let's."
The world ended for me. It was not just that in this position, for the first time, I was able to take Dan's thickness fully and well, expanding my gullet to accommodate him so that he filled me as completely as if I had swallowed his forearm. Nor was it simply the sublime depths that Adam reached within me. There, with these two men inside me - these two alphas taking me, using me - I died. Granted, it was a symbolic death I achieved, but a death nonetheless. The death of desire. The death of need. And like a phoenix, my rebirth came amidst flame.
I can remember strangely little of that endless session. Time lost its flow and without cause and effect, my memory can't make sense of the scenes and sensations which persist. I certainly remember the speed with which Adam's magic was absorbed into me once he had me from the inside. The tingling, the warmth, the fire that developed as his essence entered my bloodstream. I lost reason and focus. I had become truly egoless.
I do not remember how many times we came, separately or together, though I suspect it was a lot.
I do remember that they talked. They conversed. I knew little of what they were discussing as they plowed me, turned me, and plowed me again from the opposite end. Adam recalled some incident from their shared past, and Dan kept repeating that he finally understood what Adam had been talking about. They laughed together a lot as they shared me. They chatted.
I do not remember how I learned to shiver, but it was a new skill they both enjoyed. Somewhere in the evening, I had picked up the ability to vibrate my rectum - both inside and out, it felt like, though I knew the former to be impossible. With a combination of tensing some muscles and relaxing others, my sphincter began to tremble spasmodically increasing sensation for the top exponentially.
I do remember the way they both instinctively knew, somehow, where my prostate was, and were able, each in his turn, to draw the flared heads of their dicks to that very spot and massage me in quick, short thrusts.
I do not remember them ever touching each other, despite the attention they each lavished on me.
I clearly remember how sated I felt the first time they both ground fully into me - their two bushes mashing against lip and cheek. There was something about that - the two of them reaching as deep as they could into me. It was as if they were doing more than plunging in as far as they could go. It was as if they were reaching, through me, for each other, determined to meet, dick to dick, at my center.
And then, at once, I understood.
Dan and Adam were in love. I could see it. I could feel it. I could sense it. No, not a romantic or passionate love. I was not a surrogate each for the other. They were not dreaming of doing the other while they rutted with me. Rather, it was a love of equality, of fraternity. Dan may have found a teacher in Adam, but that phase seemed, somehow, over. And Adam had found - Adam had created - in Dan something more valuable than gold. Adam had made for himself that for which he had always yearned - the only thing his heart desired which he could not readily have: an equal.
I had been right all along, it seems. Adam was, indeed, lonely. But not, as I had assumed, for a relationship. Not for a romantic interest. Adam was lonely for a friend. Adam had never had someone with whom he could recount a story of what he had done, or what had happened to him and say, simply, "ya know?" No one ever knew. Who knows what it is like to be a god? Only another god. And so, finding none after all these years, Adam made himself one.
And I had been the catalyst. I had been brought in by Adam not, as I had assumed from the start, to learn about him and help him understand himself, but to be with Dan and to help Dan understand himself. Because only when Dan recognized and learned to manage his own power could Adam have what he wanted.
As they screwed me that night, they shared something more fundamental and more important than the sex. They shared, through me and because of me, an intimate and first-hand knowledge of what the other was and could do. It was gorgeous.
Yes, it was gorgeous, and no, I was not unhappy to be so used. Quite to the contrary! True, the Mark of a month ago would have felt mistreated, slighted. The Mark of a month ago had to be the center of sexual attention when in bed. But that Mark had died. What was left was honored to have been able to help and delighted to be there to watch these two awesome forces truly meeting each other for the first time. Their cum, deposited inside me time and again that night, commingled. I was the more powerful for it and determined not to let a single precious drop leak out. If they were generous enough to give it to me, I would do them the honor of absorbing it into my being.
And, of course, they were both very good at what they were doing. Very, very good. When Adam fucked you, you knew you had been fucked. When Dan moved inside you, you were left devoid of all but gratitude. I understood Corey's tears. To have had them was to want them desperately, mindlessly, with all-consuming compulsion. How could Corey, still so new to his own needs, comprehend or cope with that?
I used my hands that night. I used my hands and my tongue and my ass and my mouth. I used the ticklish spot just above my knee and the nape of my neck and the curve of my hamstrings and plane of my shoulder blades. I used my eyelids and the insteps of my feet. I used every part of my body except for my brain.
I must have devoured every inch of them before the night was through. Adam's tingle permeated me. I marinated in him. He tenderized me from inside and out. By the end of the night I was so liquid I could have left the room through the keyhole.
Lying enfolded in Dan's arms as we drifted off to sleep, I thought again of Brad's words at the beginning of the summer. "He doesn't make you do things," he had said of Adam, "he makes you want things." I understood him now, though I felt he had missed the mark by a little. Adam did not make me want to be used. Adam didn't make me want to submit. Rather, Adam had allowed me to understand and act on the wants that were already there, but hidden from me. He was as much a catalyst for me as he had made me a catalyst for Dan.
I hugged my man closer to me feeling that doing so, I was hugging both of them. There, safe in his arms, sleep overcame me.