Angst

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situaions, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to let you post on another site, as long as you ask first!

Angst Episode 41 "The Best Laid Plans"

A curse. Cause of misfortune, evil, or trouble. To bring about pain and suffering to those around you.

That pretty much summed me up well enough, as I was almost sure that I was the reason for all the bad things that happened in my life.

All the bad things that happened to me and to just about everyone else in my life, which unfortunately happened to be mainly my friends and family.

And if you don't seem to think I'm a curse, perhaps we'd better start at the beginning and take a look at all the things that had happened to me the past two years.

First, I meet Gino, which at first was pretty bad. I can't remember how bad exactly, but there are my own feelings and partial memories. And of course there is also what people tell me about it all. But needless to say, it was rocky.

Then I met Adam. I wouldn't have to lose my memory to remember how good or bad things were with him. And I could tell, things were pretty bad. If Gino wasn't humiliating me somehow, Adam was.

Eventually we got things settled, but if I hadn't been around when we went bungee jumping, Adam wouldn't have almost died. If I hadn't spent so much of my time with Adam, people wouldn't have started to get suspicious about his or my own sexuality, I wouldn't have angered Alex, Adam wouldn't have disowned his best friend, and my own best friend wouldn't have broken his leg.

And then too there was Jade, who was almost raped just because I didn't have enough sense to tell her how wrong her idiot boyfriend was for her.

And of course, the most blinding example of ultimate disasters happened when Gino met John, who also because of me, got jealous, kidnapped me and dumped me in a river somewhere, leaving me for dead. Of course, I'm starting to think that I should have died that night, because more problems soon followed.

Obviously, there was my amnesia, which caused me to forget nearly everything and everyone, including how much I loved Adam. And because I had to get amnesia, Adam had to move on. To girls.

And of course there was me meeting Chris, who I caused grief to only because I reminded him of what he used to see in Alex. Of course, since it was something he used to see which wasn't there anymore, he just went completely loco and totally made me lose all respect in him.

I blame myself for that as well. That and almost getting myself beat the hell up in some old dingy downtown public school.

Then came my next mistake, which was writing a letter to Adam in the hopes of trying to reclaim his heart, which his mother read, which sparked an unfortunate sequence of events that led to parents getting arrested, as well as going psycho and shooting their own kids.

But no, one shooting isn't enough. Because I was around, more shooting was to follow!. A shooting at my own school, no less. And what's worse, someone actually died as a result. Sure, the guy was no saint, but he definitely didn't deserve to die.

But he did. All because my friends were trying to, what else, protect me.

Even with all that, I was still holding out hope that I could eventually get Adam to be with me. And after helping him through the shock of having killed a person, we did get together. Which was great.

Up until Adam decided that he just couldn't decide. How can he not be able to decide? I'll tell you why. Because I'm involved, dammit!

Of course, I was mad enough to be stupid enough to think going away with Gino without telling any of my friends was a good idea.

It wasn't.

Because more shooting followed. No deaths, great. But the fact that it happened. The fact that Gino and I could have almost died, again. The fact that my friends followed me all the way to Japan only to find themselves in harms way once again. The fact that no one got to enjoy their Spring Break. The fact that I had been avoiding my friends all week.....all of.....it was all my fault.

It had to be. Because no one had screwed up lives until I put myself right smack dab in the middle of their normal lives.

The lives that didn't play out like weird teen soap operas. The lives they were supposed to be living, not the lives they had to live because of the circumstances of having me involved.

Yes, I'd been thinking about all of this heavily. I had plenty of time to think about all of it, considering, as I've already said, I hadn't spoken to any of my friends all week.

Because really, I was trying to figure out a way to help them. Help them live the lives they were entitled to be living.

And I'd come up with the perfect solution.

I was running away!

"Finally I get to start wearing some of my Spring outfits," Michelle spoke, twirling around near her locker. "I bought some stuff a week ago, but any longer and I would've had to give it all to Goodwill."

"Michelle, why would you give clothes you hadn't even worn, that you'd only had a week, to Goodwill?" Krystal asked.

"Um because I don't repeat outfits, sweetie, you know that," Michelle replied. "But hell, you can be Goodwill for me and take what I don't wear. I need closet space anyways."

Krystal just sighed and looked over at Vanessa, who arms crossed, was looking around at everyone.

"You sure you're okay, Vanessa?" Krystal asked.

Vanessa said nothing and just kept looking around.

"Vanesaa...sweetie, spastic isn't a term you want people using to describe you," Michelle spoke, opening her locker.

"I'm sorry, did you guys say something?" Vanessa asked.

Michelle and Krystal exchanged glances.

"Okay, I know we got screwed out of our spring break and all, but you've had like a week to get over that," Michelle spoke.

"Vanessa, you've been acting strange all morning. Are you really sure you're okay?" Krystal asked.

Vanessa sighed and dropped both arms to her sides, before leaning with her back against the row of lockers behind her.

"Deja vu or something, I don't know...." she replied.

"Well...do you wanna talk about it?" Krystal asked.

Vanessa looked over at her cousin and straightened up.

"What I want is a good fucking boyfriend for once!"

"Vanessa-"

"I mean, the first one is a controlling lunatic, then the next one is in love with a boy! Is it me? Is that what it is?"

"Wait a second, controlling lunatic? What is she talking about?" Michelle asked.

Krystal looked back at Michelle before grabbing Vanessa by the arm and leading her down the hall.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought a boyfriend was supposed to make you feel special. Make you feel safe-"

"What does that have to do with-"

"I don't know Krystal...just...leave me alone!" Vanessa shouted, before storming off.

Michelle caught up to Krystal and stood beside her, crossing her arms.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Um...nothing," Krystal sighed.

If there was one thing I'd learned from that horrible trip gone straight to hell, it was that I couldn't put anything past my friends.

So if I was going to do this thing and run away, I was going to have to play my cards right.

I couldn't do what I wanted to do, which was to pack up my shit and just leave, not even bothering to come to school.

But then people would know something was up the minute I didn't show up with Adam, if I could even manage to leave before Adam himself figured out that I was gone.

To me, that just complicated things. I was done with school. Or I was done with school here anyway. Maybe I could go back to that little hole in the wall Chris dragged me to and pretend to be Brian again.

Hell, at least there I know if someone got shot, which given the area, I imagine happened quite a lot, it definitely wouldn't be because of me.

But sadly, I had to come to school. I was still trying to play this whole thing as normal as possible. I'd ease my way out of everything. Maybe leave during class today.

That was still to be decided.

Bottom line though, I still refused to talk to anyone. Besides the fact that I was still pissed at Adam. I mean, he didn't break up with Vanessa. She had to break up with him!

And as far as everyone else was concerned, while I wasn't particularly angry with them, I did know that I needed to leave them be if I was gonna have enough strength to really do this.

I mean, this was a big thing. Running away. It wasn't like I didn't have a plan....I didn't have a major one, but I had an idea of what I wanted to do.

But leaving...once I did, I knew that I couldn't just come back.

You don't just decide you wanna run away, go through with it, and then up and pop up back in the people you left behinds lives again.

It just wouldn't be right.

I wasn't aware that I looked at all upset or like I was up to something until Chris pointed it out when he approached me.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

For a moment, I was almost tempted to tell him what was up. It just seemed to me like Chris would keep me running away a secret considering he was still trying to make amends with me.

That and the fact that he wasn't exactly fond of my friends, no matter how many times he'd urged me to stay with them.

"It's Monday morning," I replied, as I opened my locker in an attempt to look busy. "What isn't wrong?"

Chris grinned at me before leaning sideways on the row of lockers next to me.

"I just kinda figured you and Adam.."

"Huh, yeah, he `s way up there on my problem list," I replied.

"I still can't believe it though," Chris started. "As long as I've known you, it never really seemed like you were into Adam."

And Chris was right.

We'd first met at Disneyland, and back then, I was way pissed at Adam for reasons I still couldn't place answers to.

But I didn't know Chris before, when Adam and I were together, so of course to him it would seem like Adam and I weren't meant to be.

At this point, who could blame him.

"Of course, a lot of strange stuff seems to happen around you, doesn't it?" Chris spoke.

He was grinning and I could tell it had been a joke, but all it had done was just to remind me how much I really was a curse.

I seriously needed to just go...leave...get out of here.

"Adam is kinda eclectic with his dating taste," I replied bitterly.

While I knew in my heart that I loved Adam and would most likely be willing to spend the rest of m life with him, his behavior as of late was certainly making me rethink my decision.

I guess it just made running away easier for me. If I was less upset with Adam, I might lose my will and not want to do it, even if I knew I had to.

And I knew that I had to.

"So did you understand anything we had to do for that Government worksheet last night?" he asked. "Because if you did, I think you should seriously consider running for president."

I couldn't help but to smile. Chris always knew how to do that. When he wasn't being a jackass.

And with me out of the picture, he wouldn't have to be one anymore.

I guess my lack of an answer was cause for worry for Chris, who I noticed frowned at me.

"Brandon...I thought you were willing to give me another shot,"

I froze and just looked down at my feet.

He was thorough, I'd give him that.

I just figured it would be so easy for me to just slip out of school before one of my classes and I wouldn't have to worry about goodbyes or having people try to change my mind.

But I was clearly seeing that Chris had come to know me well enough to know when I was up to something, which meant he really must have cared about me.

"Chris-"

"Look, I know I don't exactly deserve the same amount of trust you used to have for me, but I was kinda hoping that you would at least have enough faith to know when to talk to me whenever you're having a problem."

Yep. He was definitely making this harder for me.

And I didn't really know what to do or say. It was like I was just a big jumbled mess, which meant I wasn't exactly in charge of my own feelings.

"I'm.....going somewhere..." I found myself saying.

Why, I didn't know.

Maybe I really did want someone to stop me from leaving. Maybe I did want to stay right where I was and knowingly cause problems for my friends.

Maybe I was just a self destructive person.

Chris just stood right where he was and regarded me seriously.

"What?"

I turned to face him, him backing away a little.

"I'm.....going away," I replied.

Chris just stood there for the longest amount of time, then sighed and turned slightly like he was about to leave me, but then turned back.

"Going away? Brandon-"

"Look Chris, before you give me this big speech about how my friends love me and stuff.....just don't, I've already made up my mind," I replied. "I'm doing this."

I shut my locker and started down the hallway in a fast pace, but Chris started following and joined me at my side.

"I don't understand...I thought-"

"I can't stay here knowing what I'm doing to everyone," I replied.

"What is it exactly that you think you're doing to everyone?"

I didn't reply as we turned a corner, leading towards the parking lot.

"I know I'm a cruse, Chris," I replied. "I know that all the bad things happen to us happen because I'm around."

"Brandon, that's so not true-"

"Didn't I tell you that I've already made up mind?" I shouted, heading out of the doors.

"So what are you doing now? What, you're just gonna run away? Like that's gonna solve anything!"

"It will because I won't be around!"

I could tell Chris really didn't want me to go and I knew he was trying to stop me. But all he was doing now was just holding me back.

If I was gonna go, which I was, I wanted to go ahead and just go.

Talking to Chris right now, wasn't part of the `master plan'.

"So you're really gonna just leave your friends and family? And Adam?" Chris asked.

I didn't reply, instead just headed towards the nearest bus stop leading downtown.

"Well, then I'm coming with you."

That statement caused me to stop dead in my tracks.

I turned to face Chris who had a determined look on his face.

"Uh, no....you're not-"

"If I can't stop you from doing this, then don't try to stop me from coming with you."

I let out an annoyed sigh.

I wasn't stupid.

I knew he was probably coming to try and continue to convince me not to go before I got too far.

But he'd only slow me down.

Maybe I could `lose' him somewhere along the way.

"So....where're we headed to?" Chris asked, grinning a little.

"Ugh...isn't Carter Nunez just the most delicious piece of eye candy you've seen this week?" Michelle sighed, placing her back against the row of lockers behind her.

"Yeah, if only he wasn't psycho," Jade spoke, looking over at Carter talking with Alicia Reynolds, Michelle's nemesis, who had her back to them.

Vanessa looked over at the two.

"A guy that yummy can't possibly have anything wrong with him," Michelle spoke. "Then again, we've known our fair share of hot bods with lucent tendencies."

"Yeah well you haven't met one quite like Carter," Jade spoke. "Rumor has it, the guy beats on Alicia....like hard."

"Are you kidding me? She may be a dick sucking whore, but I have to admit the girl has great skin."

Vanessa rubbed her arms as she looked over at Carter talking with Alicia.

Krystal took notice of how uncomfortable her cousin looked and decided to try changing the subject.

"Uh...so, did you guys hear about what the theme to prom is gonna be?" she started.

"Yeah, something like Night in the Spring right?" Jade asked. "Of course, as long as it doesn't turn out like the prom the seniors last year had where bugs overran the place."

"That was their mistake again for trusting Alicia over there with their committee plans," Michelle sighed. "Thankfully, were in charge now, right Krystal."

Krystal hadn't been paying attention, as she'd been focused on Vanessa.

"Okay, seriously...I wasn't joking about that spastic thing," Michelle spoke. "Are you still upset with Adam for pulling a...well I don't wanna say me.."

"No, I'm so over Adam. Believe me." Vanessa replied.

"Then what?" Michelle asked. "You know we're here for you right?"

Vanessa looked her friends over and considered telling them what the problem was. But ultimately changed her mind.

"Um....I think I should get to class," Vanessa replied. "I have a little homework to finish."

Krystal started after Vanessa but felt herself being pulled back by Michelle.

"Okay, she's gone...wanna fill us in?"

Krystal turned around to face Michelle.

"What makes you think I know what's really wrong with her?" she asked.

"Please, she's your cousin and the two of you live together."

"Yeah well, it's not really my place to say-"

"We're all friends here-"

"Michelle, I'm asking you nicely....just back off."

And with that, Krystal left Jade and Michelle behind, still confused.

"Yeah.....two please," Chris spoke, shelling out the cash for two bus tickets.

It was weird being back in the city.

I was a suburbs kid and rarely came this far downtown, so everything surrounding me was so unlike what I was used to.

There was a hobo sitting with a cardboard sign in the corner of the bus station. A lot of the people surrounding me actually looked almost as poor as the hobo.

And it didn't exactly smell like fresh puppies and rainbows either.

But, that wasn't to say that it was complete torture shock. I guess I had Chris to thank for getting me a little used to city life, even if it was just for one day.

Of course, what it all eventually led to....

"So I got us round trip tickets..." Chris spoke, handing me one of them. "Just in case.....you never know."

Maybe he didn't know, but I was pretty sure I wasn't coming back.

I mean, I couldn't. I'd already left.

And Chris had just handed me my ticket out of here.

Chris and I took a seats near the exit.

Chris picked up a magazine from the seat next to him.

"You know, I love the show but I've always wondered how they're gonna explain the kid aging," Chris spoke, referring to the show on the cover of the magazine, Lost.

I guess it was his idea of not approaching the subject.

Maybe it was reverse psychology.

I looked over at Chris who started flipping through the magazine.

"So I guess if were headed towards Boston, we could stop at my cousins," he said, still flipping through the magazine. "He may or may not have extra cash and may or may not be affiliated with the mob."

I checked to see if he was serious.

I couldn't tell.

"Why did you come?" I asked.

"I miss Vinny," Chris replied.

"Seriously, Chris."

Chris sighed and put the magazine down.

"How do you think I feel right now, Brandon?" Chris asked.

I looked over at him.

"What?"

"How do you think I feel?"

"I...didn't think about-"

"Exactly....you didn't think about how anyone would feel with you gone."

That wasn't exactly true. I had thought about how everyone would feel.

Sure they'd be upset at first, maybe even for a long time. But they'd come to realize that it'd all be for the best.

"Chris...I'm not doing this for the hell of it," I started.

"That much I do know," Chris replied.

"So then you also know that I'm trying to protect-"

"Because we obviously can't protect ourselves, huh?"

I wasn't liking how defensive he was being all of a sudden.

It was bad enough he was here with me in the first place, but to be attacking me like this.....

"You don't have to be here right now," I spoke, looking away from him.

Chris reached over and picked back up the magazine, beginning to flip through it again.

"I know."

Adam had been doing a lot of thinking and he thought he'd finally figured out why he hadn't wanted to break things off with Vanessa while he was still with Brandon.

He realized that it was because he didn't want to admit that he was afraid.

He was afraid that if he ended things with Vanessa, something would happen between him and Brandon, and they'd split up again.

Adam still blamed himself for taking the initial break with Brandon last year when he'd kept going on and on about John.

Of course, because Brandon had been right all along, it led to him not being able to be with him when he awoke from his comma.

But the way Brandon had kept pushing him away...it hurt him. It hurt him so much, he'd given up.

He knew that Vanessa was right. Adam was in love with Brandon. So since Brandon just so happened to be a guy, it made him gay.

But since he couldn't have Brandon, he moved on. He didn't want any guy, and didn't even think of other guys. He just wanted Brandon, and when he couldn't have him, he figured that with Vanessa possessing some of the things in Brandon he liked....

But he was never happy, and knew that. It was probably why he held to Vanessa even more.

He just didn't want to open himself up to more hurt and pain.

He realized now that it was selfish of him to think that way when all he was doing was hurting Brandon in the process.

He was finally ready to tell Brandon, and anyone else if need be, his reasons for everything.

"Hey have you seen Brandon around?" Adam asked, as he approached Alex at his locker.

"No, but aren't you two the hot new couple?" Alex asked off handedly while putting some books into his locker.

Adam sighed and leaned against the locker.

"Damn...I think I've fucking lost a couple of my books again!"

Adam looked around the halls.

"You don't think he's with Gino again, do you?" he asked.

"What?" Alex asked. "Gino should be with Sam. Unless you guys all have some kind of boyfriend switch thing going on I don't know about."

Adam found Alex not knowing where Brandon was strange considering they were best friends.

"Why do you look like that?" Alex asked.

"Like what?" Adam asked.

"Like you're worried," Alex replied. "Should I be worried?"

Adam was worried himself, but didn't want to get Alex worried for nothing.

After all, he hadn't done much looking for Brandon and for all he knew could have been with one of the girls or Ryan.

"So what's on your mind then?" Alex asked.

"What?'

"Something's obviously on your mind," Alex replied, still searching his locker for his missing books. "I have some time....."

Adam let out a sigh and rubbed his eyebrow.

"I just....I don't want anyone mad at me," he replied.

"Well, Vanessa's not happy because of...well, she wouldn't be happy either way. But Brandon....you just have to give him some time."

Adam just didn't want to wait as long as he had to last time.

And he hoped he hadn't ruined things again.

"I knew that going into this thing-"

"Yeah, well it's just different for you gay dudes," Alex spoke. "For me, I just don't attach myself to people. Fucking's the limit."

Adam chuckled at Alex's comment before letting out another sigh, getting off the lockers when Alex shut his.

"But if you really want, I can help you find Brandon," Alex started, walking down the hall, Adam joining him.

"Yeah....I just want him to know how I really feel," Adam replied. "Before it's too late, you know."

Adam and Alex hadn't gone far before the met up with Ryan.

"Er...hey," Ryan spoke, cautiously.

All three boys knew they weren't each others favorite people, but they'd at least learned to tolerate each other for Brandon's sake.

"How's the old arm?" Alex decided to ask.

"You know it's......well, I practice my football here and there since...."

Adam and Alex shuffled a little.

"So, have you seen Brandon around anywhere?" Adam asked, deciding to get straight to the point.

"No, why?" Ryan asked.

"Okay...so I guess that leaves Gino and the girls," Alex spoke, starting down the hall again with Adam and Ryan in tow.

"Is something going on I should know about?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing to lose sleep over," Alex replied.

"Hopefully," Adam mumbled.

The boys walked along until the noticed Jade and Michelle talking at one of their lockers.

"Maybe I should cut my hair," Michelle spoke. "Change is good, right?"

"Maybe...." Jade replied.

"Oh, hey look if it isn't the three stooges, one gone gay, themselves," Michelle spoke upon seeing Adam, Alex, and Ryan approach.

"Don't forget Michelle, you're the ugly fourth one they never talk about," Ryan spoke.

"Oh, and how's that penis growing of yours coming, Ryan?" Michelle shot back. "Are you past three inches yet?"

"What's up guys?" Jade asked, changing the subject.

"Adam's looking for Brandon so he can propose to him," Alex replied.

"What?!" Jade and Michelle gasped, simultaneously.

"Nothing to lose sleep over my ass," Ryan mumbled.

"Coming back to today," Adam started. "I'm actually looking for him so I can tell him something. Something important."

"So you are proposing!" Michelle spoke. "Oh this is so exciting! Although, I can't say I saw myself ever planning a gay wedding, but a wedding is still a wedding-"

"Look, I'm not proposing to Brandon, alright!" Adam spoke firmly.

Although, he did plan on doing that eventually. When the time was right.

"Oh...are you sure, because if you are, I was thinking we could get-"

"I'm sure!" Adam replied.

Everyone stared at Adam in complete silence.

"So, you haven't seen him then?" he asked.

"No, not since this morning," Michelle replied. "Maybe he's out buying a ring so he can propose to you-"

"Ugh, Michelle, the guy already said he's not getting married," Ryan spoke. "Would you give it a rest already?"

"Just because no one's ever gonna want to be proposed to by you-"

Adam didn't stick around to listen to anymore arguing. He had a feeling that Brandon was gone.

He didn't know why but he'd feel a lot better once he saw him with his own two eyes

I did my best to try avoiding the eyes of everyone in the station as Chris and I waited for the bus but I kept getting the strangest feeling that I was being watched.

I hated to think that I was being paranoid, I could literally feel the eyes of everyone around me.

Not everyone exactly. One particular pair of eyes in the crowd of many pairs, really.

Someone around this place, was watching me.

"Getting antsy there," Chris spoke, not looking up from his magazine, turning one of the pages. "Is that a sign you're having second thoughts?"

I looked up to where it seemed like everyone in the place was looking at me and then looked back down.

"I think I just need to freshen up," I spoke, standing up. "I'll be right back."

I did need to freshen up. But mostly, I just needed to get away from all the eyes. At least in the restroom, I could do that. If only for a few minutes. So I left Chris.

Chris reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

He didn't want to have to call the person he was calling, but he needed to let people know that their friend was okay.

"Hello?" Adam spoke, answering his phone.

"You have three guess, but if you guess wrong, you lose a finger," Chris replied.

"Chris?"

"Yeah, you keep the finger!"

"I can't believe Brandon gave you my cell phone number."

"Yeah, it must have been that day when we went pot smoking together."

"What the hell do you want?" Adam asked.

"I just thought you might wanna know where your boyfriend was."

Chris could hear Adam breath out a sigh in the phone.

"So he's with you then?"

"Yeah...well, I'm with him...."

"What?" Adam asked.

"You know how it is. Boy feels conflicted and decides to run off. His friend follows him to the ends of the Earth...I think that was the plot of my last required reading assignment in English."

"Quit playing games and tell me what the hell you're talking about!"

"Wow, all this hostility and you're on the short end of the big stick," Chris spoke. "I was kinda hoping to get my free meal and dinner first before I told you anything...."

"Chris-"

"Okay okay," Chris spoke. "Brandon...he has it in his head that he's some kind of...I don't know, curse."

"What?"

"Yeah, and he's decided to run away to the nearest third world country he can find...or Canada...which ever we get to first."

Chris didn't hear anything on the other end of the phone for the longest amount of time and almost decided to hang up before Adam said something.

"Where are you?"

"On our way back," Chris replied.

"Well...where's Brandon? I wanna talk to him."

"I'm afraid he's stepped out for the moment, but if you leave your name and message, I'll be sure to put it on a warm and fuzzy card for him-"

"Chris-"

"Goodbye."

Chris figured that did the job. Sure it was more than a possibility that Adam didn't want Chris to be the person with Brandon at the moment but at least he knew that he was safe. For the moment.

"Oh hey...how was your piss?" Chris asked.

I just flashed him a funny look and took a seat next to him.

Actually, things were worse in the restroom. The feeling was more concentrated.

I'll go on the record and call myself paranoid, but I guess I was.

Someone was following me.

"You fine now?" Chris asked.

I just looked all around the place for whoever in here was watching me.

"Yeah..." I spoke, still looking around.

"Yeah...I'm done with my magazine, in case you were interested," Chris replied.

"What...oh yeah, that's nice."

Chris looked over at me.

"I know what you're thinking about," he spoke.

"You do?"

"You miss your friends already right?"

"Yeah...I do."

Even with feeling like I was being followed, I still missed my friends.

I missed them a lot.

"So, just go back," Chris replied. "We can deal with all the `curse' stuff there."

I never thought about that.

Of course, I'd still be affecting people there...

"Chris-"

"Look Brandon...everyone thinks they're a curse at some times in their life," Chris started. "But if you start believing it, then you become one."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you get to live life just like everyone else."

That's the only thing I wanted. To live a normal, accident-free life. Everything I was having to deal with just wasn't normal and the only thing I could think of to fix it all was to just leave my friends. I was sure I was the cause for all the misfortune in our lives.

"And who says it's you that's the curse?" Chris suggested. "Maybe it's Adam. Or even Alex."

"Chris-"

"I'm just saying...." He replied. "Seriously though, you know no one will ever be happy with you gone. You leaving won't fix anything, it'll just make things worse."

I didn't want to make things worse.....

"Bad things may happen when you're around," Chris spoke. "But you leaving won't make them stop. Which has to mean that-"

"I'm not the curse after all..." I finished for him.

Leave it to Chris to make sense of things for me.

I can't believe how irrational I was thinking. And running away again, spur of the moment?

What was I thinking.

"Come on," Chris spoke standing up. "I think there's someone back home that's really worried about/"

I knew he was talking about Adam. I'm sure if he'd run away, I'd be just as worried.

"Let's go," I said, standing up.

I had to face some pretty upset people when I got back. No one more upset than Adam.

I later learned that he had something important to tell me and was afraid that he'd lost me again when I'd taken off.

But I assured him that Chris had helped me to see how wrong I was and that I didn't plan on leaving ever again.

That was when he told me all about how he was feeling. About everything, and after he explained it all to me, I actually found myself understanding where he was coming from.

And I wasn't upset with him anymore. If anything I was just more in love with him.

Gino however, was a different story.

He'd pretty much attached himself to me all week, trying to make sure that I didn't run off again. I didn't blame him, as I was prone to irrational behavior.

I guess Gino being around so much was starting to get on Adam's nerves.

"Ugh...does he always have to be here?" Adam mumbled, nodding over to where Gino was grabbing something to eat from the Dominoes Pizza line.

"Adam...he's just concerned."

"What about his boyfriend? Why isn't he worried about him?" Adam frowned, sitting back in his chair.

"I'm telling you.....he's here!" Vanessa shouted as she joined our table.

Jade, Krystal and Michelle followed.

"Now were getting somewhere," Michelle spoke, taking a seat. "There's a guy involved!"

"Michelle..." Krystal spoke, taking a seat next to Vanessa.

Vanessa was looking around like she was expecting to see her worst nightmare come shooting through the crowds of people in the cafeteria.

"Look...maybe you're just a little stressed..."

"My ex boyfriend...Luis....he's here. He tracked me down!"

"Wow...so you left behind a guy, huh?" Michelle asked. "You make it sound like he was working for the mob...."

"Luis was.....a little obsessive," Krystal started. "It's the reason why Vanessa came here to stay with me."

"A lot of good that did," Vanessa spoke, still looking around. "He found me!"

I looked around just like everyone else.

"Well...what does this Luis guy look like?" Alex asked. "I can find him and kick his ass."

Vanessa looked over at Alex.

"He's not...here-here.....but he's just here...." She replied.

Right......and I thought I was being paranoid before.

"Look, Vanessa..if you're worried about your psycho ex boyfriend coming back to get you, maybe we can help," Michelle spoke.

"Help with what?" Gino asked, as he and Sam joined the group.

Adam immediately moved closer to me in a defensive manner while everyone else grew quiet.

"What?" Gino asked.

"I think I need to just go....maybe to another city...before-"

"What's going on?" Gino asked.

"Vanessa's worried that her psycho ex is coming to get her," Michelle replied.

"Michelle!" Jade scolded.

"So now there's another reason for bodyguards huh?" Gino spoke looking over at me. "Interesting."

Gino had been trying to get me to agree to having a personal bodyguard follow me around like some little kid all week, but I kept refusing.

I knew I wasn't going to run away and I didn't feel like I was being followed anymore.

"Bodyguards?" Vanessa asked. "You can do that? Really?"

"One phone call and you both get your own personal bodyguards capable of squeezing brains through noses, at your service."

"Wait a second now.....no one needs any bodyguards," I started. "How do we know if Vanessa really is in trouble? And as for me..."

"I know he's here!" Vanessa spoke.

She was sounding more and more like she needed a permanent home in a mental asylum, not a bodyguard.

"No one's saying he isn't sweetie," Michelle spoke. "But to be safe, I think the bodyguard deal sound like a plan."

"What?"

I was being overruled here and it was happening fast too.

"Brandon...come on..." Gino spoke.

I let out a sigh, realizing that I wasn't going to get my way.

"Fine, but only for a few days," I replied.

A few days too many as far as I was concerned.

Leave to crazy old Vanessa to cause me more grief even without being Adam's girlfriend!

I guess the bodyguard deal wasn't too bad.

While I didn't enjoy having someone I didn't know following me around all the time, the bodyguards had come in handy.

You'd be surprised with the amount of stuff you could get away with when you had one.

"Accidentally" forget to do your homework? No problem. Teachers let you slide when you had a hulk of a guy watching over you.

Or, have to wait in a long line at a restaurant or some other place? Not a problem either as getting to the head of the line was no problem when people were more concerned with not getting the living daylights beat out of them.

Yeah, having a bodyguard was pretty cool.

"Okay so I was thinking we could all like meet at the movies or something," Michelle spoke. "That new movie I wanted to see came out today."

Friday's to me, were the best days out of any day of the week. Everyone just seemed to feel more relaxed and everything just felt so simple to me.

"Okay, so we'll meet around...like sixish then?" Jade spoke.

"Sounds good to me," Alex spoke.

"Hey, let me just go put some stuff away in my locker," I spoke.

When my bodyguard started to follow, I had to stop and turn around.

"I'm just going to my locker and coming right back. You can stay here," I said.

"Brandon.." Gino started.

"Gino...come on!!" I argued.

Gino looked over at the bodyguard and nodded.

"Thank you," I replied, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah and I gotta go get my math book," Vanessa spoke.

I had to admit, Vanessa had been doing much better since she'd gotten her bodyguard.

She was almost...tolerable.

"So you can stay here too," she said.

"Are you sure?" Krystal asked.

"Krystal....I'm sure," Vanessa replied.

"Okay then..." Krystal replied as Vanessa joined me at my side to walk to our lockers.

"I never thought having a bodyguard would make me feel sane," she said.

"Yeah, me neither," I replied. "They're kinda like our personal `so-whatevers'"

"Yeah," Vanessa replied.

We rarely were alone like we were now, so the awkwardness of the situation was starting to usher in.

"Er....so, I'm this way then," I said.

"Yeah, and I'm over there," Vanessa replied.

That was all that was exchanged between us before we each went our separate ways.

As I got closer to my locker I started to feel just a tad bit like I was being watched again.

No this again! I thought I was over it.

I couldn't help but to look both ways over my shoulder as I opened my locker.

The halls were empty as everyone was pretty much either in the parking lot or in their various little clubs or sports groups.

I just tried to shrug the feeling off as I went about putting my books into my locker.

Right next to my locker was a door that led to one of the small gathering areas located all around the school.

It was pretty bright outside, so the sun was coming through.

Although, I could almost swear I could make out a shadow.....

Vanessa had a smile on her face as she shut her locker and decided to take a quick break in the restroom before rejoining her friends.

She'd hit it off pretty well with her own bodyguard who was actually only a year older than she was.

Tom, her bodyguard, had actually asked her out. And she'd said yes.

She just felt so safe and happy....

Until she stepped into the restroom.

The feeling she was feeling was so overwhelming she decided to leave it but stopped when she came face to face with him.

"Hello Vanessa." Luis spoke, grabbing Vanessa and forcing her all the way over to the other side of the bathroom, across the wall.

He had his hand around her mouth and was pinning her to the wall.

"Awww, what's wrong? Not happy to see me?" Luis asked.

Vanessa couldn't really speak with Luis's hand on her mouth.

With one of her free hands she tried to reach into her pocket for her cell phone but Luis was quicker and slapped it out of the hand, letting it fly all the way over to the other side of the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, but I'm talking to you right now," Luis spoke.

Luis had since let a little of the pressure off of her mouth but still had her pinned tightly against the wall.

"Luis.....you're really hurting me!"

"Yeah? Well guess what? You hurt me when you decided to just up and leave me one day!"

"Luis-"

"You know how long I've wanted you....but couldn't have you because you were gone?"

Vanessa was really scared. She knew she couldn't call for help for several reasons, the most bearing of which was because she knew what Luis was capable of.

And that was back when she knew him.

In the months since she'd been gone, he could have gotten even more dangerous for all she knew.

"I can't wait anymore...I gotta have you!" Luis growled, forcing Vanessa into one of the stalls.

"No...don't!" Vanessa spoke.

"Shut up!" Luis shouted.

Vanessa wasn't about to let this happen. She was going to fight Luis.

Luis was trying to turn her around and bend her over, but Vanessa was trying to keep herself steady.

"What the fuck Vanessa....be still!"

"No!"

Vanessa kicked Luis backwards sop hard that he fell out of the stall.

She ran past him and over to her phone.

Luis started towards her but ran into one of the stalls when he noticed the door to the restroom opening.

"Oh, there you are," Michelle spoke. "Ew. What are you doing on the floor?"

"Oh...," Vanessa spoke, looking behind her for Luis. "I...dropped my cell phone.."

"Oh...well come on then," Michelle spoke, exiting the restroom.

Vanessa started to exit as well but stopped when she heard Luis call her name.

"Tell anyone you saw me, and I'll kill you and your friends."

Vanessa swallowed hard and just left the restroom.

"Where's Tom?" she asked Michelle upon exiting.

"Oh he's..."

"I just...I need to leave...." She spoke.

With Tom. IF she was with him....

The shadow was getting kinda creepy, but curiosity got the better of me and I just had to see who was just standing there watching me.

Bad idea because as soon as I did, I felt myself being pulled outside and away from the door.

No far though, but just enough so that no one could see me.

Or......

"John?"

"Got a message for you, asshole!"

"No...no, you're dead...I saw on the news-"

"Never found a body, remember?" John replied. "Besides, how else was I gonna get out of having to go to jail for the rest of my life?"

Was he really here right now?

So...was it him that I'd been feeling had been following me around?

"No..I have to go-"

"Leaving so soon?" John spoke, cutting me off. "How rude of you. I mean, I'm not done with you yet."

"My friends are waiting for me-"

"Oh right, you mean Adam and Gino...and the people I was once friends with-"

"Because you bought them!"

"That's one way to get friends, yeah," John replied. "But I can tell you one way to lose them, too!"

John was getting to close to me. He was scaring me.

"But, as you can see, I'm alive and well...." John replied.

"Great, now leave me alone!" I exclaimed, rushing past him and heading back inside.

When I did get inside I felt all the oxygen in my blood returning.

John, following me?

Back, never died?

What did he want from me?

I just had a feeling that this wasn't the last time I'd be seeing him.

Three episodes left and I'll be done posting this story here on Nifty. I'm trying as fast as I can but I'm just so busy, lol. By now you all know the story is completely finished on my YahooGroup and if you haven't checked it out yet and would like to, you can at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/.

And of course I love hearning any and all thoughts. You can send those to me at: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com.

Copyright 2005