Angst

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situations, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to let you post on another site, as long as you ask first!

Angst Episode 5 "The In Crowd"

For the second time in a month, I'd disappeared.

I shut myself away from the world. I didn't talk to Alex or Jade all weekend.

But best of all, I didn't have anymore dreams about Adam. That was the best thing for me.

I decided that I could no longer stand the delicious hot body.

I'd lusted over him for most of my life, but just like Jade said, I never had as much face time with Adam.

Doing so just revealed his true asswipe of a personality. I just had to find someone else to lust over.

Adam, meant nothing to me anymore.

"So B? Wus up man? I musta called like twenty times. I even came over a couple of times," Alex said as I arrived at the bustop.

I shuddered a little as I recalled last Friday's events. Just like the Friday before it.

"I guess you heard what happened from Adam right?" I asked.

"Not really. Ryan started to tell me something, but Adam cut him off," Alex replied.

"It's kind of a long story. Short version is, Adam freaked out because he thought I was following him around or something so he tried and succeeded at humiliating me in the caf," I replied.

Alex looked like he was trying to put two and two together.

"So that's what Gino meant," Alex finally said.

"What?" I asked, cluelessly.

"Well, at the game, Gino came up to Adam and totally bashed him. Called him out for making fun of people and then tried to beat him down," Alex replied.

""He did what?!" I asked, shocked.

"Yeah. Can you believe that?" Alex replied.

Could I believe it? Gino beating Adam up on my behalf? But why? Why on Earth would he stick up for me?

"Course, the son of a bitch caused us to lose the game cause Adam got thrown out. Got suspended for a good week. I'd imagine he'd need a week, cause if he came back to school today...."

This was all so unbelievable. Gino stuck up for me during the game.

Like he didn't care what happened to him as long as he....of course there was no way I could find out anything for sure until Gino and I talked.

"What about Adam?" I asked.

Was the fucker suspended too?

"Well he got off lucky. Probably cause he's captain of the team. He cant play in the next game, but naw, he wasn't suspended," Alex replied.

I must of had a weird look on my face cause Alex said:

"Hey, look, don't worry. I'll talk to Adam. He's not gonna hurt you," Alex said soothingly.

He had that right. Adam couldn't hurt me. Cause I wasn't gonna let him.

I looked up to notice the bus coming down our street. A bus that would no doubt have Adam on it.

"It's okay," Alex said putting his hand on my shoulder.

I gave him a weak smile and stepped on to the bus.

Tension. That's what the bus was full of. I tried not to look at anyones face, but I didn't need to because I noticed that no one was looking at me.

I guess my humiliation, the game, and the weekend did this to them.

"Just go back to our regular seat. I'm gonna talk to Adam," Alex said.

"Alex..."

"Just go okay," Alex said.

I half-heartedly agreed and made my way to Alex and my regular seat.

Alex spotted Adam who was trying determinedly to look out the window.

"Adam," Alex said sitting down.

"Alex, was up man?" Adam fakely asked.

"What's this thing you and my best friend have going on?" Alex asked.

Adam sighed deeply. He had to know something like this would come eventually.

"look, Alex, we just don't mesh. I was getting tired of him invading my space," Adam replied.

"Yeah he told me that was what was going on," Alex replied.

"He did?" Adam asked, dejectedly.

"Don't you think it's just a little sad? There's you, the popular captain of the football team with a hot ass girl and all the friends in the world and then there's him, not popular, no girlfriend, nothing. And you think he's some kind of threat to you?" Alex asked.

"I....just...."

"Adam look at me. I don't want to have to kick your ass alright. Brandon's pathetic enough without you trying to ruin his high school years. Just stay away from him," Alex replied.

With one final scowl he got up.

Adam sat thinking. He was so right. Brandon really was never a threat to him. And he didn't deserve that. He always knew they never did anything that night.

But it was just stress. He had to apologize to him. Somehow....

I tried as best as I could to stay far away from the places I knew Adam hung. Unfortunately, one of those places was my locker, and Id already failed to turn in three homework assignments because that was where they were, my locker. Sooner or later I was gonna have to go to it and get my books.

Adam stood with his locker open thinking. About a lot of stuff. But mostly about Brandon.

For some reason he couldn't get him off his mind. It was really weird.

Normally, Adam dissed hundreds of losers without feeling the slightest bit of guilt.

But now he was feeling remorse for someone who he'd done his best to ignore his entire life. And he'd done a pretty good job too.

All those times he was around when he had to talk to Alex. He just pretended like he didn't even know he was there. But he did know. He'd always known. But now it was just weird. Things in his life were really-

"Sweetie, thinking hard?" Michelle asked kissing Adam on the cheek.

"What? Oh no I was just ah..trying to remember where I put my physics notes," Adam lied.

"Look I know you don't want to talk about it, but the game Friday-"

"You're right, I don't wanna talk about it," Adam replied, being assineign.

"I was just gonna ask how you were feeling," Michelle replied.

She snapped back against the lockers and tried to ease up.

"You know what you need man," Ryan said, surprising Adam "Beer. Lot's and lots of beer"

There was no way he'd be drinking for a while. Not after what happened last time.

"Your idea of a good time is always a damn party," Michelle said.

"Yeah, the fun parties. Not the ones you like," Ryan replied.

"I don't throw boring parties," Michelle objected.

"Of course you don't sweetie," Krystal said, appearing out of the blue.

Great, Adam thought, they were talking about parties not realizing they were starting one right now.

Only this was one Adam didn't want to attend.

He was busy before they came. He was looking for Brandon so that he could apologize.

"We all know how you feel Adam. Embarrassment, we've all been there before. You just need something to take your mind off of it," Krystal suggested.

"i was just saying that. And you think I'm not smart enough for you," Ryan said.

"You're right, you're not," Krystal replied.

"Uh," Ryan said.

Adam wasn't paying attention to any of their pathetic rants. Somehow, their problems didn't seem to compare to his at the moment. He was busy before they interrupted, and even more busy now that they were here. It just meant he had to look even harder now.

"So anyways, I think Ryan is right. You totally just need to get your mind off of everything," Michelle said.

"I have the perfect idea. How about we go down to the lake. Its closing at the end of the month.

We could throw like a bonfire party or something," Krystal suggested.

"Yeah, I'm so feeling that. A party's just what you need bro," Ryan said patting Adam on the back.

"Guys, I don't think I'm up for any more pati-"

"Adam, you blew our anniversary off. At least you could come to this," Michelle ranted.

Adam knew he wasn't gonna get out of this. He was after all the most popular 11th grader in school.

It was his job to be at every party.

"Fine," Adam reluctantly sighed. "Let's do this then."

Adam shut his locker and made his way down the hall with his friends.

I crept my head around the edge of the hallway. Good. Adam wasn't at his locker. I could now go and get what I needed from my locker.

Not that having my books and homework would do me any good anyway. I couldn't really concentrate on anything.

One person who kept coming to mind was Gino. I just didn't get why he did what he did.

Why on this Earth would he risk further insult to his reputation by sticking up for someone like me.

A boy who was on the underbelly of school society. Not that Gino was risking much. Ever since that party, and now after the game, I doubt he's had as much popularity as he's used to.

But still, it was Gino. The other boy in my life who made it their life's mission to humiliate me.

So why would he try to avenge something so sacred to him as embarrassment.

"Hey," Jade greeted.

"Hey," I replied.

"So, I bet you didn't envision your junior year turning out like it has been huh?" Jade asked.

"It's worse. But the thing I don't get is why Gino did what he did. I thought he hated me," I replied.

"Maybe he's seeking retribution," Jade replied.

"It's Gino. He's got a lot more good deeds to do if he's seeking solace," I replied.

Jade moved to the right of me and leaned against Adam's locker.

"And what about Adam? I mean, he hasn't said anything to you has he?" she asked.

"No thank god. I hope I never have to talk to that jack-ass again," I replied coldly.

And that was the truth. No way I wanted anything to do with Adam. But Gino, he was the one I needed to talk to. To thank him.

"Well Krystal's throwing a party at the lake. I think it'll do you some good to-"

"Jade, i think I've had enough social time. Besides, Adam's definitely gonna be there," I replied.

"I know. But this time, I'm staying with you and you're staying with me," Jade replied.

"Jade-"

"Stop arguing with me and say yes."

I realized it was pointless to argue with Jade. And if I stayed with her all night, I would be fine.

"Fine. I'll go," I replied shutting my locker.

Ding-Dong.

Adam opened the door.

"Bro this party's gonna be so fuckin hot, I just know it," Ryan exclaimed rushing past Adam.

"Ryan, what did I tell you about your language?" Michelle added walking past Adam as well.

"And just come right in," Adam sighed shutting the door.

Michelle made herself comfortable on Adams couch while Ryan dug around in the fridge.

"I figured we should stay with you until the party. You've been kinda iffy lately," Michelle said.

"I'm fine really, you don't need to babysit me," Adam sighed.

"That's funny because I swear that I do. You're acting so weird lately.

"Ive just been.....complicated," Adam sighed.

"We know. Which is why were here to make sure you go to this bonfire. Your reputation needs a serious boost," Michelle said.

Adam really didn't want to go to this thing. But he had to admit, Michelle was right. He needed to go.

Otherwise he'd be dumped by Michelle, and eventually left with no friends. Okay maybe it wasn't that crucial, but still....

"Okay," Adam sighed. "I'll go take a shower and get dressed."

"There's a good boyfriend," Michelle stated.

Ding Dong

Gino opened the door.

"Brandon?"

"Hi," I said, a little nervously.

"Ah, come in," Gino said letting me through.

"What ah...what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Well, I wanted to say thanks. I heard about what you did at the game Friday. That was really cool of you," I replied.

Gino smiled.

"Don't think I'm going soft on you or anything. Just thought Id put Adam in his place."

"I'm glad you did." I sighed.

I looked around.

"So whats a guy suspended from school for a week got to do all day?"

"Not much. Play video games, watch t.v., porn...." Gino replied.

I chuckled a bit.

"And you know, maybe......maybe, I mean if you want, maybe you can come over again sometime. We could play games or something," Gino suggested.

"You know what," I smiled "I just might take you up on that offer."

"Well, looks like everybody plus a hundred showed up," Michelle said as she, Ryan, and Adam arrived at the bonfire. It was already 8pm.

"Ima go get some beer. Be right back," Ryan said leaving.

Adam shuddered and looked around. Why did he still have all these weird emotions?

Maybe he was finally developing a conscience.

"Are you having fun yet?" Jade sarcastically asked.

"How long do we have to stay here?" I asked.

"Were not here for us, were here for Alex. Try to be supportive," Jade replied.

I looked around. Where was Alex anyway. Oh there he is. Dancing sexily with some girl. Lucky girl.

Adam stood bored barely listening to the conversation going on between Michelle, Ryan, Krystal, and a few other people.

He couldn't bear it any longer. He needed to clear his head.

"Michelle, baby, I'm gonna go get some fresh air," Adam said.

"Just don't be long kay?" Michelle said kissing Adam on the cheek.

I decided that being bored was way beyond what I was and decided I needed some fresh air.

"Jade, I think I'll go get some air," I said.

"Just don't be gone long. I don't know half these people either," Jade said staring very intently at Alex dancing with his hoochie.

The good news was that I hadn't seen Adam all night. I could only imagine what he'd try if he saw me at the party.

Brandon's Humiliation 2: The Bonifre or something.

I stared out at the lake. At this time a night it was gorgeous. A lot like Adam's eyes.....Shit I'm doing it again. Thinking about him. Temporary relapse.

Adam took a swig of beer and stared out at the lake. It was so relaxing and peaceful. Just what he needed to think.

I looked over. Guess who I saw?

I got up and started back to the fire hoping Adam wouldn't see me.

Adam looked up. There was Brandon!

"Brandon! Wait!" Adam called.

Shit. I stopped and turned around.

"What do you want Adam?" I asked impatiently.

Adam took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Yeah so am I. See ya," I said.

"Wait, can we just start over?" Adam asked.

I turned around.

"Oh, you mean like back to when you and I didn't speak to each other. Or maybe yo mean when you thought I did something to you when you slept over my house," I said, angrily.

I was pissed. No holding anything back.

"I think it's cool that you'd do that for me, let me sleep instead of take me home," Adam spoke.

"Too late," I said.

"I'm trying here. Come on!" Adam said.

I thought for a moment.

"Try harder," I said turning to leave.

And I meant it. Adam was gonna have to prove to me that he was really sorry.

"I don't know how hard to try with you," Adam spike, almost soothingly.

I stopped and turned around.

"I'm willing to learn though," he added.

I could see the look of genuineness he had in his eyes.

He really was sorry.

"So where do we go from here?" Adam asked.

I didn't know. Hopefully the future would be bright.

******************************************************************************* Thanks for all the great emails! I did my best to reply to everyone! I hope your liking everything so far..

Oh and special shout-outs go to John B. and Sammie!

As always, email me if you have anything to say and I will reply to you ASAP