That afternoon, Matt had to go to work. Soon, Mom and Dad came home and started packing for their trip to New Hampshire. I thought it was rather random to take off to a place that bizarre and far flung to see someone they didn't know existed until recently. Oh well, when it comes to logic I'm no expert. I sat at the kitchen table and missed Matt. As I was sitting there, a car drove up outside. Walked over to the sink and looked out the kitchen window. My mother went to the door to see who it was. She stepped aside. Jenna came into the room.
"Drew."
"Yeah?"
"Jared, Stephen, Trey and I are going out and you're coming with us."
"I am?"
She marched across the kitchen. The boys remained out on the stoop underneath the carport. She knew I wouldn't be difficult to convince.
"You have to have a life, you know."
"I know."
"Then get dressed, I'm not taking you out in public looking like that."
I immediately went upstairs to change. When I came back downstairs, everyone was sitting in the den waiting.
"Let's roll." She said, standing up.
My parents had retreated to their bedroom to finish packing. I didn't bother them because they already knew what was going on. We got to the theatre in record time. I don't remember what we saw. Afterwards, they crossed the street to a coffee shop. I decided I wanted some fresh air, so I just wondered up and down the street. I wondered past an alleyway. Some movement caught my eye. I slipped into the shadows to satisfy my curiosity.
Ooh. Voyeurism. There were these two guys going at it. They must have thought they were concealed behind the dumpster. I probably wouldn't have noticed except that the streetlight above their heads caused a small shadow. They were shadowy and ill defined in the semidarkness of that alleyway. Their lips were locked in a power of which I'd only dreamed. Their hands were exploring one another. I was getting hard. I could feel my cock pressing against my jeans so hard that it made me even harder. I could see the well defined ass of the one whose back was to me outlined in his jeans. I had an urge to join in the action. It was so fucking hot. I was leaking pre-cum. But, I stood back because of Matt. I could never do that to him. I glanced around. Those two guys had a small audience gathering as people stopped to see what I was gawking at.
The two guys broke their embrace. They were off to a more private locale. They came toward us but stopped with they realized they'd been seen. Then they broke out in grins. Then one of them froze. The silhouette of the one on my left just stopped dead in his tracks. I looked around to see what he was looking at. His head was pointed straight at me. I looked quizzically up and down his body. Then I realized the problem. It was Matthew. I almost vomited on the spot. I turned away. I couldn't look anymore. He came toward me.
"What are you doing here?"
I couldn't say anything. I just ran. I was so out of it that I ran right past the table where Jenna, Trey, Stephen, and Jared were drinking their coffee. I didn't even notice them. Matt was chasing me saying, "Wait! Don't go! I'm sorry" and other such nonsense. They had to have known what was going on. Did Trey and Stephen know about me and Matt? If not, they do now. I heard a woman's voice. Jenna was trying to get me to stop. I flew past The World of Mirth,' For the Love of Chocolate,' Plan 9,' Coppolo's,' I never wanted to stop. The sidewalk just kept going. I crossed a street and didn't even slow down. I just darted between the cars until I reached the other side. Both Matt and Jenna were hot on my trail. I was equally determined not to get caught. Eventually my legs gave out and a crashed into a trashcan and fell over. I just laid there. Matt got to me first. I pushed him away. An image popped into my head. All I could see what that day at the beach when Grandma called Matt `trash.' She'd been right all along. Matt was plain white trash. The worse irony is that I was his bitch. What does that make me?
I screamed. Not any particular word or phrase, I just screamed at the top of my lungs straight in his grimacing face. Jenna and Jared got around me and held my arms. I guess they were afraid I would kill him. I probably could have at that moment. He brought me roses. He professed undying love to me. He got to go fishing with me. I fixed him breakfast in bed the sick fuck. I pulled loose from them and stood on my trembling, wobbly knees. Matt took a step back. Maybe he wasn't as stupid as he looks. Before anyone knew what was happening, I lunged. I tackled him. He was too stunned to fight back. I hit him as hard as I could. I beat the ever living shit out of him. He was too stunned to put up much of a fight. I don't know how many people it took to get me off him, but I didn't go peacefully. I looked down at Matt. He wasn't going to be such a pretty boy come morning. His eyes were already swelling and his lip was bleeding in several places. After I was up, he just laid on the sidewalk. I ran off through the crowd with Jenna and Jared following me. What on earth was I going to tell my parents when Matt came home bloodied and bruised? Surely Matt would have more sense than to show back up at my house. Then I would have to explain where he was if he wasn't there. Hopefully they would leave for New Hampshire before they missed him. When we got back to the table, Stephen and Trey were still sitting there.
"What happened?" Trey asked, wide eyed.
"Nothing, just a pick pocket," I said, saying the first thing that came to mind.
"Oh."
Oddly, they seemed to accept that explanation without any trouble.
"Did you catch him?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
Thank God in a few minutes, they decided to call it a night and take me home. I was still visibly distressed about something. It was nearly midnight by that point. The restaurant Matt worked at closed at 11:00 and was only a couple of blocks from the theater, so I guess he hooked up with a co-worker. I wonder what that co-worker thought was going on.
I stormed into the house in a rage. My father was sitting in his recliner.
"Rough night?" he asked. I didn't say anything.
"Where's Matt?"
"I don't want to talk about him."
"Oh." He was taken aback. "Why not?"
"I just don't okay?"
"No, it's not okay."
"Why not?"
"I'm not leaving you here for three days acting like that. Now where's Matt?"
"Out fucking someone I guess."
"Excuse me?" Taking that fatherly `are you talking to me?' tone.
"You heard me...he's probably out fucking some random guy."
I ran up the stairs before he could respond. I knew it wouldn't be long before the whole house was in on my latest crisis. But, I jumped and crash landed on my bed. I jumped too hard, so I rolled over and off the other side. I just laid on a slump on the floor, I couldn't help but chuckle a little. After all that had just happened, that just added insult to injury. Not surprisingly, there was a knock at the door. I didn't say anything, I just crawled back onto my feet from the floor. The door opened just a bit and my dad's face peeked around the side.
"Go away." I said to the wall.
He just stood there.
"Son."
"Leave me alone."
He just turned and left, closing the door softly behind him. He didn't know the specifics, but he knew that me and Matt were through. How could this have happened- and so suddenly? I felt like the whole world was laughing at me. I knew from day one what kind of person Matt truly is and yet I went along with it. I knew he was a self absorbed ass wipe, but I guess I thought I could change him. I guess I thought that if I could just get through to him, that he would turn out to be an alright kind of guy. Oops. What was I going to do now?
The doorbell rang. That was totally unexpected. I heard my parents both go downstairs. I stood at the top of the stairs and listened.
"I'm sorry to bother you so late Mr. Gerrish."
"That's fine Dave, what's the matter?" It was Dave Kelso and his partner. They were police, so they worked for my dad. Why were they at our house at 2:00 on a Friday morning? Oh fuck. I beat the shit out of Matt and I bet he went to the cops. This could be bad. This could be exceedingly bad. Did I have any of his blood on my hands? Or was there any on my clothes? Now I think it would be appropriate to panic.
"Sir, we were told that a minor by the name of Matthew Michael McConnelly is staying temporarily in your home. Is that correct?"
"Yes. And you should come in."
They came and sat at the kitchen table.
"Sir, Mr. McConnelly was savagely beaten this morning outside of a bar in Carytown. It was a gay bar."
Do what? I said to myself. Oh damn do I know how to screw up. When I screw up, the screwing up just doesn't know when to stop. When I ran, I stopped in front of a building. I didn't realize that Frieden's was a gay bar. Shit. It had just been what I happened to be in front of when I ran into the trash can. It could have just as easily been a grocery store. Why couldn't it have been something innocuous like an ice cream shop or a toy store? No it had to be a gay bar that I beat up Matt in front of.
"A gay bar?"
"Do you know of any reason Mr. McConnelly would have been at a gay bar?"
"Do you have evidence that he ever entered the bar?"
"According to security at the bar, at the time of the attack, Mr. McConnelly had not entered the bar. According to the few witnesses who would admit to seeing anything, there was a young man in some distress laying on the ground. Mr. McConnelly approached the young man to offer help at which time the young man got to his feet and attacked Mr. McConnelly. Several other pedestrians held the perpetrator back, but he got free of them and lunged, knocking Mr. McConnelly down and savagely beating him in his face and chest."
"My God." Mom exclaimed. "Do they have any idea why?"
"Since he never entered the bar, we are not classifying it as a hate crime at this time, but we are not ruling that out yet either."
"Are there any suspects?"
"Not yet, sir. Why was he staying in your home?"
"His parents threw him out of their house. My son is a friend of his from school and so Andrew asked if Matthew could stay with us for a while. We of course agreed."
"That was nice of you."
"Thank you."
"What is the nature of your son's relationship to Mr. McConnelly?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there were two versions of the story. The one we just told you and one that says that Mr. McConnelly was chasing his attacker calling to him to stop and that he could explain. We were able to discover that the perpetrator observed Mr. McConnelly and another person, by the name of Jonathan Bower, kissing in an alleyway. Apparently the perp and Matthew knew one another and had a lover's quarrel right there on the street. We're just trying to track down his acquaintances and we decided to start with those in the household he was living in."
"Good. My son is just a friend of Matthew's from school."
"Great. That's all." They got up and left. Phew, my parents covered for me.
My mother asked, "Where is Matthew? Can we go see him?"
"Certainly, he's in the emergency room at Georgia Medical Center."
"Thank you."
They left, I heard my parents coming back towards the stairs. I decided to make coming in for the kill easy for them, so I just stood at the top of the stairs and waited for them to come on up.
"I guess you heard." My mother said.
"Did you hurt Matthew?" My father asked.
I just starting bawling, so I guess they had their answer. I fell down onto my knees and fell against the wall, sliding down onto the floor. My mother got down and cradled me.
"I'll be right back." My father went back downstairs. In a few minutes, he returned.
"Drew. Your mother and I are going to the hospital to see Matt. Ma's coming over to stay with you while we're gone."
"I want to see him."
"I don't think that's such a good idea. We'll just cancel our New Hampshire trip. We need to be here right now. We'll take you to see him in the morning."
We all sat on the landing outside my door until my grandmother came in. They left and she stood in the kitchen. I remained upstairs. I didn't want to see anyone. In a few minutes, something came over me and I rushed down stairs. She had gone into the living room and was sitting in the dark, just the light coming from the kitchen shining in on her. She heard me coming down the stairs and stood up. I ran over to her and gave her a great big bear hug.
"You were right. He is trash." I sobbed into her shoulder.
She didn't say anything, she just returned the hug.
In a few minutes, I began to calm down. We sat down on the couch.
"Men are bastards." She said. "You remember what I told you about my first husband, your biological grandfather. How he was."
"Yes. I remember, he was alcoholic."
"What happened between you and Matt? Your dad wouldn't tell me over the phone, just that something happened with Matthew and that I needed to stay with you while they sorted it out. I said, your 18 and that you didn't need a babysitter for Pete's sake. But they insisted and voila, here I am."
"Tonight was Matt's first night at work. Me, Jenna and a few friends went to the movies tonight. After that, we went to a coffee shop. I needed to get away for a little while, so I just went wondering down the street. I saw Matt making out with a guy. He spotted me. I ran and he chased me down. I saw so pissed that I beat the crap out of him."
She nodded. "You don't look like you've been in a fight."
"He didn't put up much of one."
"Oh, I see. So he just stood there?"
"Laid there. I tackled him first."
"Good for you," she said nodded more insistently. "It's about time you stood up for yourself. He had no business doing that to you."
"What happens if he dies?"
"What do you mean?"
"If he dies, will I go to jail?"
"Did you beat him up that badly?"
"He's in the hospital."
"Holy shit, Andy what that hell were you thinking?"
Huh? I thought she liked what I'd done.
"I thought he was like in a shelter somewhere or at a friend's house. Andy, you put the poor boy in the hospital?"
"Well, yeah."
She was aghast.
"He was cheating on me. He'd have had sex with that guy if I hadn't caught him."
"Maybe so, but beating the crap out of him isn't going to help. I think you need to go see him."
"My dad said to stay put."
"Oh horse shit, your dad says a lot of things." She said standing up and marching toward the kitchen and the door. I stayed on the couch. She got to the kitchen and turned around to face me.
"Well? Hurry up. It's already late."
"No. I don't want to see him."
"Either you go see him tonight and find out his side of things, or give him up here and now."
"I'm not going."
She grabbed my arm and pulled. She pulled me up onto my feet, got behind me and pushed me toward the door.
Once in the car, she asked me, "How are you feeling?"
I just cut my eyes at her.
"That bad?"
When we got the hospital, I refused to leave the car.
She leaned in the open driver's side door, "Get your lazy ass out of this car this instant!"
"No. I'm not going to go see him."
"ANDREW MICHAEL GERRISH!! It is 3:30 in the fucking morning...GETOUTOFMYCAR!"
I did. We went into the emergency entrance and went up to the desk.
"We're here to see a Matthew McConnelly."
"Are you family?"
"No, but he's staying in our house."
"I'm afraid you can't see him, then."
"Who is responsible for him?" Grandma asked.
"I can't tell you that."
"Have a Mr. and Mrs. Gerrish come to see him?"
"Are they in the waiting room?" She asked pleasantly.
I went and looked in the waiting room area. They weren't there. A doctor scanned his ID and went into the main room. I slipped in behind him. I walked nonchalantly around. The room was so busy, no one really noticed me. Matt was laying on a gurney. He wasn't moving. Had I hurt him more than I realized?
I was still pissed as hell, but he looked like hell, so I guess I felt sorry for him. A nurse came over to him.
"Sir, you aren't supposed to be in here."
"I'm not going to leave him."
"Are you family?"
"He's my brother."
"Oh." She was satisfied.
"How long has be been here?"
"Not long."
"Is he going to be alright?"
"Yes."
"What happened to him?"
"Some idiot attacked him."
"What for?"
"I don't know." she was nice, but was distracted. She walked away and left me alone. I was glad grandma had forced me to come. He stirred. He opened his eyes. I started to tear up. So did he.
"I'm so sorry." He said.
"What were you doing?" I was pissed.
"I just panicked. He started coming on to me. I didn't want to at first, but then I guess I just got carried away. I didn't mean for it to happen."
"You looked pretty damned sure of yourself then." I stormed away. I really couldn't have cared less if he died right then and there. I walked right past Grandma and went out into the parking lot. I imagine she was trying to figure out why my parents still hadn't arrived. They probably went to the wrong hospital. As I was standing outside, they drove up. Sure enough, they'd gone to the wrong one. They went inside and got stopped by the `are you family?' question as well. I gave them Matt's parents' contact information. That was not a fun phone call for the hospital staff; but at least, they granted us the ability to go in and see him. I confessed that I had already seen him and was not interested in round two. Grandma and I went back home. I went to bed and she went home. I just laid there in my bed, just now having a moment to think about what had just happened. Matt had been caught red handed. Then I beat the shit out of him. That probably wasn't the smartest move, eh? Oh well.
The next morning, I wandered downstairs. There was a note from Dad to go see him at the station. I figured he wanted to fill me in on Matt's condition. I got over there about mid morning.
"Hey Andy!"
"Hey Pete," I said to the desk sergeant.
"Sounds like you got yourself in some trouble."
"How'd you know about that?"
"I was one of the responding officers. You sure put a hurt'n on that kid."
"Yeah. Do you know where my father is? He said to come down here."
"He's in his office." I walked down the hallway to his office. The door was open, so I just poked my head in.
"Come in." he said sternly. Uh-oh, his didn't sound good. Did Matt actually die?
"Yes sir?" I asked, sitting in the chair facing his desk.
"I've tried to block it, but Matt's parents are filing charges against you. Big ones."
"Like what?"
"Assault and battery with intent to kill."
I just sat there, I didn't know how to react.
"Andy, that's a serious charge. You could do serious time for that."
"How much?"
"Several years, as long as Matt doesn't die. If Matt dies, then you're in way over your head and could get...I don't want to talk about that."
"Could Matt die?"
"There's still some swelling in his brain." He paused, I could sense the emotion building in his voice. "I mean, my God son, you bashed the boy's head on a concrete sidewalk. What the hell were you thinking?"
I just sat there, my head hung low.
"Are you going to arrest me?"
"No, not right now, but eventually we'll have to. Andy, you've got to get a handle on yourself, I thought I raised you better than that, but apparently not. I know you've had a rough couple of weeks, but that's no excuse for nearly killing someone with your bare hands."
"I just got carried away. I tried to get away from him, but he chased me down. When he tried to get me to calm down, I just exploded. I didn't mean to hurt him, but once I got started, I couldn't stop."
"You can't keep doing that. Somebody'll fight back and then you end up where Matt is, or even worse."
"I know."
"What if his baseball buddies get you?"
"They won't."
"How do you know?"
"They know he's a queen, so they'll figure he deserved it."
"What?"
"Never mind."
He just sat back in his chair. I don't think he knew where to go from there. Neither did I.