This story is a complete work of fiction. It involves interactions between two men of consenting legal age. If it is illegal to read, view, come in contact with, or (insert whatever else you can think of here), in your state, province, or country, or are under the legal age to view such material then do not continue on with the story.
The characters in the story are completely fictional and any coincidence with the outside world was not intentional. If you find this kind of material offensive, then just click the little 'back' button at the top of the screen and your computer will navigate you out of here.
Part 1
I pulled the message from the fax machine and noticed a single page with 'urgent' written in large letters at the top. Below the bold letters appeared four numbers indicating the room the fax was to be delivered to. I walked over to a computer an punched in the number, trying to call up some information about the hotel guest. The name 'Mr. Little' appeared, along with a note indicating the guest was a VIP. I moved away from the computer and walked over to the manager on duty.
"Hey Dave, I'm gonna deliver a fax to Mr. Little in 2309," I said. "It looked urgent so I figured he'd probably like to have a look at it ASAP."
He looked up from his magazine and nodded his head in agreement. "Sure," was his only response. With that he returned to reading his article. I chuckled to myself, thinking one day I could handle doing his job. I walked out of the backroom and headed across the lobby to the elevators.
Perhaps it is a good time to introduce myself to you guys. My name's Mike and I work for a major downtown hotel. I've been there a while now working full-time in the summer, and then switching to part-time when school starts in the fall. I'm about to enter my fourth, and final, year of college. Needless to say, I am quite happy that my time in school is rapidly nearing a close.
I'm 21, and stand a full 6'2" above the earth. I have dark brown hair and eyes, and weigh about 175 lbs. I try to stay in good shape and work out as much as I can. Guests are constantly flirting with me at the desk so I figure that some of my efforts have been paying off. Anyway, enough about me for now, I don't want you all to think I'm hung up on myself or anything as I ramble on, so I'll continue on with my story...
I was standing in the elevator examining my reflection in the mirror. God I hated the uniforms the hotel made the guest service staff wear. They had ugly brown pants with a light brown vest and a matching tie. I admit I liked the tie, but the pants and vest left much to be desired. I placed my hands at the bottom of my vest and straightened out my uniform. Satisfied that I looked professional, I turned back to the glowing numbers above the door and watched as I rose to my destination.
I walked out of the elevator when I finally arrived and headed in the direction to Mr. Little's room. I glanced at the numbers on the doors I passed, thinking about what a slow shift this was turning out to be. I admitted to myself that I was glad for this little diversion from the desk as there was little work to be done. I walked up to 2309 and noticed a 'Do Not Disturb' sign placed on the knob. 'Ah Man' I thought to myself, 'I hate shoving these things under the door.' I bent down to the miniscule crack at the bottom and tried to gently tuck the message into the room. Unfortunately, it wasn't co-operating. I tried applying a little more force to the paper, but again and again it refused to slide in through the crack. By this time I must have been getting a little too forceful, as I was startled when the door suddenly opened. I looked up to see a guy peering down at me from the doorway. I quickly stood up and tried to straighten myself out.
"Can I help you?" he asked a little irritably.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I was just trying to deliver this fax to you. I was trying to slip it quietly under your door but it seems the paper had other ideas." I found myself blushing due to my intrusion.
He smiled at me and replied, "no problem, I was looking for a distraction from my work anyway."
"Yeah well, I can't take all the credit, the paper had a large part in it too," I smiled back, noticing the flush in my face dissipating. "I guess you would like the main culprit now," I said handing him his message.
"Thanks," he stated taking the offered paper.
"You're welcome," I said turning to walk away. I stopped in my tracks when I heard a gasp from the man. I turned back to face him and noticed that his face had gone pale. "Are you alright?" I asked moving closer to him. I didn't get a response. I gently placed my hand on his arm and asked him again. This time he looked up at me.
"N-no," was all he said.
"Is there anything I can do?" I asked pulling my hand away. I didn't get a response. "Do you want to talk about it?" My question was again met by silence. I felt bad for the guy. There was nothing worse than receiving bad news via a written message, especially when it's delivered by a total stranger. "Listen, I won't try and intrude anymore, but if you need any special arrangements at all just give me a call at the front desk, my name's Mike." I noticed tears forming in the man's eyes. "Hey whatever it is, you'll get through it," I said putting my hand back on his arm. I felt his hand grab on to mine as I tried to pull it away. I was surprised by his sudden action.
"Thanks Mike, I appreciate your concern, but uhh..." his shaky voice trailed off as his sadness turned into gentle sobbing. I walked closer to him and placed my arm around his shoulders.
"It'll be alright, man." I looked around the empty hallway thinking that someone could come down it at anytime. "Come on, I'll take you back inside your room." I turned him around and walked him to the bed. I urged him to sit down and then sat on the bed beside him, removing my arms from his shoulder. He continued to sob beside me. My heart went out to him, but I realized there was little I could do, after all I had just met the guy. "Is there someone you'd like me to call for you?" I asked gently. Mr. Little shook his head 'no'. "Ok, well listen, I should probably leave you alone now, but remember my offer still stands, if you need anything, and I mean anything, give me a call at the desk." I began to rise from the bed when I felt his arm push against my chest restraining me.
"Please don't leave yet, I...uh...don't want to be alone right now," he managed to say between his sobs.
"Sure, I'll stay with you, but I have to make a call first, ok? I'll just be a second." I lifted his arm from my chest and got up from the bed. I walked over to the telephone and picked up the receiver, pressing the Front Desk Button as I did so. After a few rings, I heard Jen, my co-worker answer the phone.
"Good evening, Front Desk." She stated plainly.
"Hey Jen, it's Mike," I said quietly into the phone. "Could I speak to Dave for a second please?"
"Sure, hold on a sec..." I heard the hotel musac begin playing through the receiver and rolled my eyes. For the millionth time I wondered who was responsible for selecting this crap. I was shaken out of my thoughts as I heard whimpering from the bed. 'The poor guy,' I thought, 'I wonder what caused all of this?' I noticed that he was still clutching the fax in one of his hands. Dave's voice suddenly came over the phone.
"Yeah, Mike, what's going on? Why aren't you down here yet?" he asked.
"Ah, listen," I hesitated. "That fax had some bad news on it, and Mr. Little is taking it pretty hard," I spoke quietly to Dave. "He's asked if I could just stay with him a little while so that he wouldn't be alone."
"Oh," was all Dave could say. I heard him typing a couple things into the computer. "What's wrong with the guy?" he asked curiously.
"I don't know, he's just not doing all that well right now. I'd like to stay here for a bit to see if I can help him with anything. He's feeling really down right now."
"Well, the hotel's got the guy listed as a VIP guest, so if he's asked you to stay, then you stay. Period."
"Thanks Dave, I appreciate it."
"But," Dave continued, "you can't stay there all night, alright, we do need you to work down here at some point."
"Gotcha," I replied, "I won't be that long. Thanks man."
"Uh-huh." Click. I could mentally picture Dave returning to his magazine and continuing with his article.
I walked back to my place on the bed and sat down. While talking on the phone, Mr. Little had huddled himself into a tight ball at the edge of the bed. When he felt my weight on the mattress he pulled himself into a tighter position. He continued with his quiet sobbing. All inhibitions I may have felt about trying to console a complete stranger were thrown in the wind as I felt general concern for a fellow human being. I reached over and put my arm back around his shoulder. I then gently pushed him up against me to act as a support for him. I whispered, "Whatever it is, it'll be ok." He adjusted his position and wrapped his arms around me. He rested his head against my shoulder and continued to cry. We remained like this for another ten minutes until I asked him the one question circling my mind. "What's wrong?"
My question hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity until he removed his head and looked up at my face. "I'm so afraid," he replied. "So afraid of...of...everything."
"Don't be, I'm here to help you, I promise I won't hurt you."
"But I don't even know you."
"Sure you do," I smiled. "I already told you my name was Mike, and as you can tell from my uniform, I work for the hotel." He looked at my uniform and then back to my face. "Hey, it's a start at least."
"Yeah, I guess," he answered. He looked down at the floor for a few more minutes and I could tell he was trying to hide his sobbing. I reached down and grabbed his chin and turned his head in an effort to have him look at me.
"Tell me what's wrong," I urged before adding, "It may help."
He tried to turn his head again to look away, but I held his chin keeping it firmly in place. I felt a shudder run through his body. "I'm so...scared," he managed to get out. "Scared of being alone."
"Don't be scared, I'm not going anywhere."
He just sat there staring at me trying to hold back his tears. I noticed his eyes for the first time and found that I was being entranced by them. They were a brilliant blue, as if he had been given a piece of the ocean. But his eyes looked sad, if you can imagine such a thing. I could tell the life that would normally be found in them was gone, replaced by fear and sorrow. I forced myself to look away before I got lost in his eyes.
"I'M GAY!" he blurted out before recoiling back into his fetal position. The intensity of his sobbing grew substantially. "I'm gay," he quietly repeated between sobs.
"And?" I asked lamely. I suddenly realized that was probably not the right thing to say when trying to comfort a person expressing their raw emotions. I reached over and pulled him closer to me again. "Shh, it's ok, it's ok," I whispered to him while gently rocking him. "It will all be ok." We sat like this for a while. I decided to break the silence by adding, "I don't think anything less of you." He seemed to relax a little at my comment. Before long, his breathing became more settled and I noticed his sobbing had stopped. He looked up at me and asked, "Do you mean it?"
"I do," was my only reply. He returned his head back to my shoulder and I continued our rocking. I noticed that he was soon asleep in my arms. I gently moved him over to the pillows at the top of the bed and laid him comfortably on his back. I pulled the covers from the opposite side and wrapped his body in them. I turned away from the bed and walked over to the desk by the window. I grabbed a pen and paper and jotted down a note informing him that I was going back down to work. At the end of my shift I would return to his room to make sure that he was fine before heading home. I stressed in the bottom of the letter that I was only downstairs if he needed to talk. I placed the note on the night table closest to him and looked over at his still form. His face seemed so peaceful now that he was engulfed in sleep, and I realized that he would be alright if I went back downstairs to finish my shift. I leaned down to his ear and whispered, "I promise I'll be back." I turned off the light as I moved away from the bed and headed towards the door. Near the edge of the bed, I stepped on a piece of paper. Instantly realizing that it must be the fax I had delivered, I picked it up and placed it on the dresser, not wanting to violate his privacy. I resumed my quest for the door, turning off the main lights as I reached for the handle. I quietly made my exit into the bright hallway, silently clicking the door closed. I headed towards the elevators dreading the thought of returning to work as I knew I would be barraged by questions by everyone when I got back.
Brian woke up from his sleep a few hours later. He noticed he was now lying on top of his bed and the room was in complete darkness. He began to wonder what he was doing there when everything came flooding back in full force. Tears began to fill his eyes again as he lied there thinking about what the message had said. That's when my face flashed in his mind and he sat bolt upright in complete terror. "What have I done?" he asked himself in the empty room. "How could I have said...that?" He asked again, this time with some disgust. He reached over to the night table and turned on the light. As he pulled his hand away he noticed the note I had leaned against the lamp. The pounding in his chest began to diminish as he realized that I would be back later on to check on him. "Maybe he meant what he said," he whispered. He got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, thinking that maybe things weren't as dire as he had led himself to believe. He walked by the dresser and noticed the fax lying there for all to see. 'How did that get there?' he wondered to himself. 'Oh my God,' he answered, 'Mike must have put it there. He must have seen it, read it!' The pounding in his chest returned and he quickly found his knees beginning to buckle from under his weight. He collapsed on the floor and could no longer control the sadness contained in his heart.
Twenty minutes later found me in the elevator returning to check on Mr. Little. 'I don't even know the guys name,' I thought to myself as the car stopped on the twenty-third floor. 'Better ask him before it gets anymore awkward.' I walked out the doors and headed towards the room. The last few hours had been quiet for the hotel. There weren't many check-ins, so everyone had the opportunity to grill me on the drool mark that was left on my vest. I dodged most of the questions, just saying that Mr. Little was really upset and needed a friend. I explained to them that he had fallen asleep and that I was going to make sure he was going to be alright when we all got off. I had only stopped to change into my clothes before I headed up to his room.
As I neared his door, I noticed a light shining through the peephole. I figured he must be awake so I decided to knock on the door instead of using the new key I had made before I left the desk. There was no answer. I knocked again, only to be met by silence. 'Maybe he wants to be alone,' I thought to myself. I was about to turn away when a nagging doubt entered my mind. 'What if he hurt himself?' I couldn't resist. If I went in there and I found that he just wanted to be alone, I would leave immediately, but if he wasn't... I pushed that thought from my mind. I swiped the card through the lock and opened the door. As soon, as it opened, I saw his body crumpled on the floor, with the fax message again clutched in his hand. I quickly ran over to him.
"Mr. Little, are you alright? Mr. Little?" I asked as I felt my body kick into over drive. I moved my hand to his neck trying to feel a pulse. Luckily I found one. I tried to get him to wake up. "Mr. Little, it's ok now, wake up, PLEASE," I begged.
I noticed him flinching as his eyes started to open, and saw as his eyes rise to look into mine. I again felt that feeling when I looked into them, but I tried to suppress it as the relief of knowing he was awake came over me. Panic seemed to run through his eyes as he realized who was leaning over him. He quickly moved away from me, returning to his fetal position.
"Mr. Little, it's ok, I'm here to help you, don't be afraid anymore," I tried to sooth him. He only remained in his tight position. I nudged over to him and put my arm around him, "Don't be afraid of me."
He relaxed a little at my words and leaned into me like he had earlier that day. He eventually began to straighten out his legs and then looked back up at me. "I thought you hated me," he said sounding ashamed.
I was taken aback by the comment. "No, I don't. Why would you even think that?"
"Because you saw the letter..." his voice trailed off.
"I never read your letter," was all I said to him.
"You didn't?"
"Of course not, I wouldn't do that to you." He leaned closer to me and I felt his arms wrap around me once again. 'Thank you," was all he said.
Silence again returned to the room until he spoke up, "Why did you call me Mr. Little?"
"Well, uhh," I began, "I don't know your first name."
"Apparently you don't know my last name either," he said sounding a little agitated.
"Huh?" was all I could get out. 'Damn reservations, could they ever get a name right?'
He turned and looked up at me again. "My name's Brian... Littrell, Mike." he said pausing before saying his last name.
'Why do I feel I should know that name?' I asked myself. "Well it's nice to finally know your name Brian, my last name's Baker in case you were wondering." I extended my hand in greeting. He shook it, but refused to look away from me. I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable at the scrutiny. 'Why is he looking at me like that?' I wondered. I decided to try and break his stare. "You had me worried there for a minute you know?"
"Sorry," was all he could say before looking away. "I just thought...you know."
"Yeah, but don't," I answered. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. It's okay to have those feelings."
"How can you say that?" he asked pulling away from me again. "It's so unnatural."
"Brian," I paused trying to gather my thoughts. "It's not unnatural, many people feel that way. God half the men in this hotel share your same feelings. They're no different from anyone else."
"Don't you see, Mike, just like me, they're all freaks," his voice rising in anger. "We're all..." he stopped. "Outcasts," he finally finished.
I sighed realizing how difficult this was being for him. "Brian, you're not a freak and you're definitely not an outcast. I've got a lot of close friends in this place that are gay, and I feel no different about them because they have feelings for people of the same sex. The same goes for you too."
"Easy for you to say, you don't have to live with the thought that you are attracted to men. Thinking that you can't start seeing anyone because of the ridicule you'd experience, the pain and humiliation you'd suffer," he replied to me coldly.
"You're wrong," I answered honestly. Brian looked up at me with confusion in his eyes. "I can understand what you're going through, Bri. I've plagued myself with the same thoughts you are right now and all I can say is I don't know what to tell you. I can't even tell myself because I don't know," I paused trying to keep the tears from roaming down my own face.
"You're gay?" he asked unbelievingly.
"No," I answered, "I'm not."
"Then how could you understand?" The pain evident in his eyes.
"Because I'm bisexual, Brian." I couldn't control my own tears now, I just sat there trying to hide my face in my own hands. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me close to him. "I've never told anyone that before," I said quietly. I moved my arms around him and returned his gentle embrace. We sat like that for a while.
"I'm sorry," was all he could say.
"Don't be, I needed to tell someone, and honestly, I'm glad it was you."
"How long have you known?"
"A few years now, but I was always so afraid to admit it to myself," I answered. "You?"
"The same, but I would never admit it to myself, at least not until Chris..." his voice trailed off.
"Chris?" I asked intrigued.
"A mistake, which is what led me to conclude to myself what I was. And before I met you, I thought that meant being a freak," he smiled at me. "I know I'm not anymore, though."
"Why's that?"
"Because of the person you are. You have the same feelings I do and I know you're not a freak, you're special," he replied blushing a bit.
I was again taken aback, my own skin getting a little flushed. "Thanks, I feel the same about you."
We sat there for a while in the awkward silence until he asked me a question. "Have you ever been in love with anyone?"
"Yeah," I replied, " I went out with a girl for a couple of years. We were really serious for a long time, but eventually things began to change and we drifted apart. We both realized about six months ago that we didn't love each other and that our lives had become too different. I was a little down when we broke up but I soon realized it was for the best. I wasn't happy anymore with her. What about you?"
"Once. But it keeps coming back to haunt me. That's what that fax was about..." he drifted off.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.
He sat there pondering before answering me. "Yeah," he finally said. "But it's hard, so give me some time."
"Take it easy, I know love can be a hard thing sometimes," I answered.
We sat there for a few more minutes in silence. "I met this guy Chris at a concert and we hit it off right from the start," he began. "We became close friends and I invited him with me everywhere we went because I enjoyed his company. After a while I began to realize that I was developing some feelings for him that were not normal. Of course, I tried to suppress them but that only works for so long." He sighed heavily beside me on the floor before continuing. I noticed some tears forming in his eyes. "One night Chris and I stayed in while the other guys went out. We decided to have a few drinks and maybe catch a movie on the tv. To cut to the chase, he and I ended up getting plastered on the couch after playing a couple drinking games. At one point I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I felt lips pressed against mine. I shot open my eyes and saw Chris leaning into me, kissing me. All I can remember thinking is 'WOW!' and I began to return the kiss. We were like that the rest of the night until the other guys got home."
"What happened next?" I asked gently pushing him to go on.
"Chris and I avoided each other for a couple of days because we were feeling kind of awkward. I hated being away from him for so long, so I went over to his place and we had a long talk. I admitted my feelings towards him, and I was a little shocked to hear that he felt the same way. We ended up making out in his room the rest of that night," Brian finished shyly.
"Things went like that for a while, making out and stuff when we were alone, but didn't go any further. We both had agreed that we would keep it secret until we figured out what we meant to one another. Three months passed like that and still we didn't tell a sole. We were getting a lot closer though and I noticed that I was falling in love with him. What I didn't know, was that he was having doubts. I should have seen it coming, but I was an idiot and pretended that he was just afraid of being caught." A tear slipped from his eye. I placed my arm back around his waist.
"It all ended one night when I asked if he would make love to me for the first time. I couldn't believe his reaction, he just freaked. He started calling me a 'faggot' and 'freak' and told me that I had seduced him into something he never wanted. He pushed me away from him and ran out the door.
I was heartbroken."
"Shh, it's ok, just relax," I said to him.
"I was a wreck for a long time, and my friends were powerless to help me because I couldn't tell them what had happened. I was so ashamed. Things were just starting to get a little better when I received a letter from Chris. He told me that he was through with letting me fuck with his head and that if I gave him some money he might think about not telling anyone else about my sexuality. I had no choice but to pay him, and I have kept paying him since last April." Brian cried into my arms.
"Aww, Brian, I'm so sorry. That's not fair," I said trying to comfort him.
"Love isn't supposed to work that way, I'm sorry."
He looked up at me again and said, "I haven't had contact with him for a few months now, until this letter here. He just wanted me to know he was still there and to keep up with the payments."
I could tell there was more written than what he was telling me just by the sound of his voice. "What else did he say in the letter? What could have set you off that badly, tonight?"
Brian sat there quietly without looking up from my shirt. "He told me I would be alone forever once my secret was out..."
I pulled him tight against me and began rocking him promising him one thing, "No you won't Brian, you've got me. You won't be alone."
"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me," he answered. "Will you stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone again. I'd understand though if you didn't."
"Sure I'll stay. Come on, let's move you over to the bed." I pulled him up with me as I got to my feet. I dragged him over to the bed and made him lie down. I grabbed one of the pillows from the bed and stole the comforter from the large king-sized bed.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Getting my stuff set up for the floor," I replied.
"No, don't do that, there's plenty of room up here," Brian said patting the space beside him. "I won't try anything if that's what you're afraid of."
I had to smile. "No, I just figured you needed some space."
"As I recall, a couple of minutes ago you didn't think that," he said referring to my comforting him on the floor, a smile forming on his own face.
"Yeah well," was all I managed to say.
"Good, then it's settled, you're sleeping with me."
"Fine," I commented, realizing I had been beaten. "Just don't try anything," I added trying to continue on the lighter side of things.
I could tell he was a little hurt by the comment as his smile suddenly vanished. "I'm kidding, Bri." His smile returned. "You can try anything you like on me." His smile widened as he realized I was still only kidding.
"An invitation," he laughed, "I'll have to remember that later on tonight."
I returned the laugh and threw my pillow at him. "Uh-huh," I said while taking off my shoes. I continued to strip off my shirt, socks, and pants, and then climbed into the bed. Brian was busy removing his own clothes and threw them to the far side of the room when he had finished. We were both only wearing our boxers. He rolled onto the bed and pulled the covers over his body.
"Can I ask you something, Mike?" Brian asked sheepishly.
"What's up?"
"Have you ever been with a guy?"
"No, I haven't, Bri," I said looking over at him. "I've thought about it, but I haven't found the right person to be with yet."
"Do you think you could ever love a guy?"
"I don't know," was my response. "Probably, yeah, if I met someone special."
"That's cool, I guess."
Now it was my turn to ask the questions. "Have you ever been with a girl?"
"Once, and it was horrible, I didn't want to be there," he responded with a repulsed look on his face. "It wasn't a good experience." I laughed at his face.
"Did you have sex?"
"No, I wouldn't let it get that far. Have you ever...?"
"Yeah, I have, with Kelly. I enjoyed it because it was something special between her and me. What about you, even with a guy?"
"No. Close, but no cigar."
"Was that with Chris?"
"Yes," he responded shyly.
"That's cool."
Brian reached over and grabbed the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.
"What are you doing tomorrow, Brian?" I asked after a couple of minutes.
"Taking the day off after what happened tonight, why?"
"Well, I get tomorrow off from here, so I was wondering if you wanted to hang out a bit?"
"I'd like that. What did you have in mind?" He asked me.
"Hmm, maybe I'll surprise you with something," I responded.
"I like surprises. But will you give me a hint?"
"Sure, let's just call it a getaway kind of."
"I like the sounds of that."
"Good, then get some sleep, we'll have a long day tomorrow." I turned over and looked out the window at the city skyline.
"Good night, Mike."
"Good night, Brian, sweet dreams."
To Be Continued....
I hope you guys liked this story. It took a little while to write so I would appreciate any feedback you may have over it. All I ask is that you be gentle if you decide you wanna write me, I'm still new to the writing scene. I would like you to know that I am trying to write the second part of this story and hope to get it wrapped up soon. I have a general sketch as to where I would like to see this story go, but if you guys want wanna give me some help it would be much appreciated.