Author: Alex Nelson Title: Broken Facades
Awaken Chapter 31
Tony
It was the third day of my secret watch on Justin. I always tried to get out of the hospital before anybody arrived to visit Justin. Over the past three days I started to notice Brad, Alex and Alisa starting to drift apart, as well as started to notice that Kate seemed to be acting very bitter and cold towards the three of them. Over the past three days I had been able to reflect back on the past four years. I thought about all the schemes and nasty things I had done, especially to Brad. I kept thinking about all the things I did to him because I thought he was gay. I realized that if just was indeed gay I would have to rethink my mind-set of gays, who they are and what they are. I could no longer think of them as weak or perverted or that I they were not masculine or strong, suddenly I brought of my daydream to someone screaming and alarms going off I thought the jig was up, but realized it was coming from Justin room. As I opened the door what I saw shocked me.
There was Justin shouting in the bed "No! No! No!" as he was screaming, he was pulling out every tube connected to his body, with tears running out of his eyes while slowly getting out of the bed.
"JUSTIN!" I shouted.
"NO! NO!" again he shouted as he was now standing on the other side of the bed holding himself up, as I yell at him he suddenly looked over to me with unbridled terror in his eyes, "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" he said as continued to try to remove the rest of the tubes while backing into a corner of the room
"What the hell is going on in here?" A voice said as this fat nurse walked in, "Oh my god." She said as she rushed out of the room.
"Justin you have to calm down, buddy." I said thinking that if he saw me I could relax him with a smile.
"Stay away from me!" he said as he started cry and back up against the back wall.
"Justin, buddy you have to calm down." I said as I slowly walked towards him.
"NO, STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
"Justin, I'm not going to hurt you."
"NO!! You hate me!"
"I don't hate you, remember for the past few weeks I have been trying to be friends, you remember?"
"I, I, I don't remember." He said shaking his head, "I don't remember. Where am I?" He said looking around the room in a confused daze.
"You're in a hospital, St Josephs." I said slowly as I continued to walk slowly towards him. "Three days ago you were very upset do you remember that?" he shook his head, "I confronted you about something and you became upset, do you remember?"
Suddenly his eyes widened, "No you stay away from me! You stay the fuck away from me! Ahggggg!" as he says that he crouch over looking like he caught a cramp. As he looks down he sees why he is feeling that pain and see the catheter and starts to pull it out while crouching over again. At that point I took my chance and charged him and tackled him.
"Justin, please calm down buddy, please. It's ok, you're ok now." I said as I was now on top of him holding him as he tried to struggle to get free. He had his eyes closed and shaking his head and crying. "We found you at your house in the garage."
"Why! Why,? You should have let me die! Why? Why didn't you let me die?" he said as he stopped struggling and started to cry as I held him.
"We couldn't let you kill yourself, Justin. We love you man!" I said as I pulled him into a hug as it now seamed as though a dam had burst.
"You, you hate me. You're suppose to hate me like they all do."
"Just, I don't hate you; you're my best friend bud."
"But, I'm gay, Tony and all I do is hurt the people that I love. I don't deserve to live." He said as he held on to me crying like I have ever heard anyone cry.
"Don't you dare say that, we all care about you Justin."
"You do?" he asked as he looked up at me with his eye red from crying, "You don't hate me because I'm a fag?"
"Hey, don't call yourself that you may not be gay, but if you are I won't hate you you're my bud." I said as I pulled him again into a hug as he started crying again.
"Let go of him! Get off of him, who the hell are you?" I heard out of the blue as there were about five big guys grabbing me and pulling me off of Justin who then started to screaming as I was ripped away from him. Then another guy who I guessed was a doctor injected him with something and he passed out.
"What the fuck did you do to him?" I shouted
"I just gave him a sedative to calm him down, now young man who, are you?" before I could answer the fat nurse jumped in.
"You didn't have to do that; I got him to calm down." I said angrily to the Doctor
"How dare you talk to the doctor like that."
"Fuck you bitch; you guys bust in here after I get Justin calm down and just take over."
Why you little brat, I don't know how you got in this room, or what you were doing to that young man, but you could have hurt that young man. You shouldn't be here, I doubt that you're family and."
"That is enough Mary." the doctor said, "Justin is ok, no one was hurt. I just can't believe he pulled through. This young man might have cause Justin not to hurt himself more." He said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around me. Suddenly it hit him Justin was alive I just started to cry as hard as I could as the doctor pulled me into a hug. I was crying because I was going to get another chance to make it up to Justin, to be a true friend to him.
Brad
It had been three days, the doctors were a bit optimistic after Justin survived the first night and had gotten all of the poisons out over his body. I had just gotten out of the shower to get ready to go visit Justin when the phone rang.
Ring, Ring
"Hello" I answered
"Hey." It was Alisa on the phone.
"Hey babe."
"Brad do you mind if I skip going to the hospital today?"
"What! Why don't you want to go, he need us."
"I can't stand it anymore seeing Justin like that, with all the tubes sticking in him." She said as she tried to not start crying.
"I know it's hard baby but you have to go."
"I can't Brad, I just can't. It tears up every time that I see him. I feel like it's our fault that he is in there. I should have said something."
"Alisa honey, we can't look back now, we have to look forward, I know Justin is going to pull through, the doctors didn't give him any hope when they first brought him in and he has lasted three day he will wake up."
"I just can't Brad I sorry I don't have you courage, once he wakes up I'll be there."
"Fine you and everyone else can give up but I'm not going to he and I have some unfinished business to deal with. Look I have to go I'll see you in school."
Tony
As I started to walk the door to settle down when I saw Mr. and Mrs. Kemper and Alex walked towards me in the hall. Once they saw me coming out of Justin's room cry they started to run towards me.
"Tony, what's wrong?" Alex asked as he ran towards me, but before I could answer Mrs. Kemper quickly cut in.
"Why are you crying? What happened to Justin?" Mrs. Kemper asked in a panic as the three of them reached me.
"Folks there's nothing wrong; we have some very good news." The doctor interrupted
"Justin is awake, he woke up." I said as I started to cry again and was joined by the three of them as he hugged each other while crying. Suddenly they all started to ask questions all at once.
"Whoa, whoa, easy one at a time I will explain what happen, or at least what I think happened. But first I must tell you a few things and set a few rules first. When Justin first woke up we had to sedate him. As of right now he is resting comfortably, the first rule is that no one can bring up the suicide, if Justin wants to talk about let him bring it up. Secondly don't baby him, treat him exactly how you treated he before. Watch him but don't let it seem like you are spying on him." The doctor said.
"Thank you God." Mr. Kemper said with a smile as he hugged me.
"Can we see him?" His mom asked after letting go of Alex
"You sure can, but I am going to ask that you not stay long, and that goes for you to Tony, also he had to slightly restrain him."
"Why?" Alex asked
"Because he flipped out when he woke up."
"What, what happened doctor?" Justin's dad asked.
"I think you'll have to ask Tony, sir."
"Tony what happened?" he asked as I noticed Alex with a look of concern, but it looked like he was holding back, man is he over protective or what.
"Well I had been sneaking into Justin's room for the past few days, just to be there when he woke up. Well I kind of I had dozed off but woke up when I heard a crash and screams. When I ran in he had ripped out all of the tubes and was crying, I got him to calm down, that's when the Doctor and nurses came in."
"I am just happy that he is ok." Alex said as Mr. Kemper hugged him, "I have to go call Brad and Alisa."
"I am going to talk to the Doctor and see where we go from here?" Mrs. Kemper said as she walked away but not before giving her husband a kiss.
"Boys before you leave I have to ask you and I want you to be honest with me, what was going on with Justin I mean for a while everything was going great then you guys broke apart," she said looking at Alex, "Just like the first time?"
"Poppa, I don't know we had a fight a few week ago right before states and we just thought it was best to separate for a while, we all were not talking o him." Alex said at that point I knew the bond between them was something I wanted between me and Justin and his parents.
"What could be so bad that the three of you wouldn't talk to Justin for so long?" Justin's dad asked
"He betrayed our trust, look I don't want to get into it now but it is over, ok. Justin's going to be fine" He said as he walked away.
"Tony do you know what happened?" he asked me
"No sir I'm sorry Mr. Kemper." I said as I looked down at my feet.
"Please call me Steven." She said with a smile
"Ok, Mr. I mean Steven," I said with a smile, "I was never able to break into the circle the only other person that was able to get in was Kate, and now even she feels distant toward Alex, Alisa and Brad."
"Speaking of which I better go call her, she has been so worried."
"She is such a sweet girl I was so upset when I found out that she was not dating Justin anymore. I do hope she finds someone."
"I think she will." I said as I turned bright red and walked to the phone to call Kate.
Steven
"Ok I talked to the Doctor and he said. Steven what's wrong?" Meredith said as he walked over to me and saw the look of concern on my face.
"Something happened between Justin and Alisa, Brad and Alex and I think it is the cause of him doing what he did. I don't want to say this but I am not sure I want them around Justin. Once he wakes up I will see how they react to them all of them this Tony and even to Kate and if he is stress out by anyone of them they will not be around my son."
"Do you really think they could cause him to do something like what he did do you?"
"I don't know, but I am not going to take a chance. Normal healthy boys with everything going for them, don't try to kill themselves."
"Sweetheart I think you are overreacting, the children would never do anything to hurt Justin, they love him."
"I know but something is just not right."
"Well right now I could care less we have our son back and we have to get him better, I want to see my baby." She said as she took my hand and we walked into Justin's room. When we entered he looked as if he was at war with his soul his face looked as if he aged about 10 years there where dark rings around his eyes and he had restraints that were rapped around his hands and feet attached to long cloth ropes.
"Nurse does he have to have those things on?" Meredith asked with tears in her eyes
"Yes mama, I'm sorry until the Doctor tells us it is ok he has to wear them they are not uncomfortable"
"Brad I'm sorry." Justin said softly in his sleep "Alex please." He said as he rolled over, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
Both Meredith and I rushed over to his bed and started to hold his hand. "I think he is starting to come out of it now I will go and get the Doctor now." The nurse said as she quickly exited the room. As she was leaving Alex, Tony and now Brad came in the room. Suddenly Justin's eyes open and he blinks.
Brad
"How you doing tigger?" his dad said I hadn't heard him call Justin tigger in years, both Alex and I lost it as we reached for each other and started to cry
"Poppa, I'm sorry." Justin said as he started to cry not able to look at his dad.
"It's ok buddy, it's ok." he said as he pulled him in for a long hug then he did something that I never thought I would ever see Steven Kemper started to cry.
"It's ok I thought I lost you," he said
"I'm sorry poppa I'm so sorry." Then Justin's mom held both of them. At the point Tony taped us on the should and said lets step outside of the room which we did reluctantly.
"Why did you want us to leave?" I asked Tony as I wiped my eyes
"I just thought they should be alone and that we should talk."
"Hey, who the hell are you to tell me and Alex what to do when it comes to Justin? And why the fuck are you here you did you good dead now leave. I don't want you around Justin."
"What, who are you to make that call, hey don't get mad at me because you feel guilty that Justin almost killed himself because you turned your back on him. I was not the one, you guys were the one that stopped talking to him over a little misunderstanding."
"Misunderstanding, he tells everyone that I am gay, which causes open season on Brad for four years and you call it a misunderstanding." I say as I lower my voice, "I don't even know why I am talking to you or why I am even letting you near Justin. You're a fucking homophobe Tony, a fucking homophobe." I said as I poked him in the chest.
"Brad bro easy, I think if Tony felt that way he would have spread it already about Justin at school. I think Tony just wanted to give Steven and Meredith time alone with Justin?"
"Why the hell are you defending him, do you remember that if it wasn't for you I would have ended up in the hospital or even dead because of him, he even called you a nigger do you remember that."
"Yea I remember, Brad you don't have to remind me, but if he was a homophobe do you think he would he have helped us save Justin in the first place or be here now. I think the shock of him seeing a gay person that didn't fit his mold kind of turned him around."
"Bull shit, he's only using Justin." I said with a shocked look. "Something has been bugging me, the day that I found out about Justin you told him, You really don't want me as your enemy and that you knew where all the bodies where, were you trying blackmail Justin?"
"Ok fine, I did some wack thing to both you and Alex and yes I was trying to use what I knew about Justin to blackmail him because I thought he was not looking out for me, look I am sorry about everything that I have done in the past. The reason that I did all that stuff was because I was jealous of you two, I always have been, I wanted to be as close as a friend to Justin as you two and Alisa always had him. I always tried, but you two never let me get close. So when Justin told me about you watching him at one of your sleepovers I was the one who but it in his head that you were gay, again I'm sorry. But I swear to the two of you that I am not trying to hurt Justin."
Sudden a voice came up from behind us "If anyone hurt Justin it was you three and I am tried of you bad mouthing Tony. He has changed so much, he is not perfect and yes he made some mistakes, but he and I were the only one who tried to talk to Justin and the only ones who stood by him. And if I can forgive him I don't see why you can't. If anyone should stay the hell away from him it is the three of you, and I am going to make sure that the Kemper's know about what caused Justin to do what he, did you guys breaking his heart." She said crying.
Alex
"Kate sweetheart Alex is trying, it is just going to take Brad a bit longer I did do some bad things to him." Tony said as he reached for her hand.
"And you said you were sorry, right?"
"Yes, but I don't think he can forgive me so soon. And hey I'm a big boy I can fight my own battles." He said with a smile
"Well then that's his problem."
"No that's your problem!." Came another voice from behind us Alisa
"Ah shit." Tony and I said at the same time, "Just like you are going to defend Tony I am going to defend Brad. Your boyfriend put my boy friend through hell." Alisa said as she reached for Brad's hand.
"That is the problem with you three, you always hold on to long to thing and never let go. The three of you never tried to talk to Justin after you broke up with him and he went through, hell."
"Guys that's enough!" I said in a quite whisper
"Look, we all made some mistakes and Tony I can forgive you because I see that you really care about Justin, Brad you can have him apologizing to you until he is 40 for all I care, but now we all have to be here for Justin."
"Whatever, I can't believe you Alex after all he was put us through, you trust him with Justin, well I can't lets go Alisa." Brad said as he reached for Alisa hand and started to walk over to Justin's room
"Hey, thanks man I owe you."
"Well, let just call it even you helped save what now looks like my only best friend." I said as I watched Brad and Alisa walk into Justin's room with out me.
"What do you mean only? Hi, I'm Anthony Hunter, pleased to meet you." He said as he held out his hand, "Do you want to be my best friend it looks like you need one." He said as he extended his hand, as I reached for it he pulled me into a hug.
"Hey what about me, you have not lost me even though I am still mad at you." Kate said with a smile.
"Thanks guys, I think Brad will come around it is just going to take time. He is just scared, Tony you and your friends really hurt him and me for a while."
"Like I said bro, I am so sorry I was just acting like an ignorant punk. You never know what anger and hate can make a person do. I did some really dumb things, but after I heard Kate said about Justin I felt real bad, I really care about him and I couldn't look at myself. I only hope, Justin can for give me too." He said with tears in his eyes.
"Well enough of this lets get back into the room."
As we walked in Brad and Alisa were in the corner of the room while Justin and his parents were holding each other saying I love and crying they must have been crying the whole time that we were outside.
"Well, your mother and are going to talk to the doctor so you kids can play catch up." Steven said as he wiped his face and stepped away from Justin and his mom.
"I love you baby." His mother said as she brushed the hair out of his eyes, he just nodded.
Brad
"We'll be back in a few." Steven said as he and Meredith left the room. After they left the look on Justin's face changed to fear and he would not look at us
"Hey Just." I said as I walked over to his bed he pull himself away as I approached with Alisa he looked at me like I was going to hit him or something
"What's wrong, buddy? It's me Brad?" I said
"Hey Bro." Alex said sensing that something was wrong approached the other side and again Justin moved away not looking at Alex either.
"Justin what's the mater." Alisa asked
"You, You should have let me die." He said as he started to cry.
"No way bro then who would I have been able to tell my jokes to." I told him as it got him to crack a smile.
"Yea, and who would I be playing with for a National championship next, that would have been a bummer." Tony said
"I would have been better off, you guys will hate me." He said looking at Tony
"Why because you're gay, hey remember who you're talking to." I said trying to get his attention "people thought I was gay, so I know what you are thinking."
"And I don't care." Tony said as he sat down on the bed and smiled at Justin
"Tony, please I can handle this. Justin is MY BEST FRIEND!"
"God Brad, when are you going to drop it already?" Kate said almost yelling
"Hey he's in love with me." Suddenly the look on Justin face turn to terror like all of the secrets were out.
"Yea and you turned your back on him." Kate said
"How, how did you find out?" Justin said in a panic.
"It's ok Justin, I don't care I only want to be here for you." I said with a smile trying to calm him down "Tony I think you should leave you're upsetting Justin."
"Brad if anyone is upsetting Justin it's you, the Doctor said not to talk about anything that dealt with Justin trying to kill himself."
"Alex man who's side are you on?" I said
"Why don't you make Justin decided? Justin do you want Tony to leave?" Kate said
"Shut the fuck up Kate." Alisa said
"No, you shut up Alisa."
Suddenly Justin screamed. "STOP IT! STOP, STOP IT!" Justin said now crying.
"What the hell is going on here?" Justin's mom said as she entered the room rushing over to Justin and holding him.
"Everybody out!" she said as she told us to get out.
As we left the room Alex went running down the hall and out of the hospital. "Alex, Alex! See what you did Tony?"
"I'll go after him." Tony said
"No, I will I need to talk to him." Alisa said as she gave a scowl look at Tony and Kate.
"See what you are doing, Tony you're making everyone up set and turning everyone against each other." I said
"Me, I wasn't the one who got Justin upset, I mean you just come in and take over. Like he is your son or something?"
"He is like my brother and only family is going to be around him from now on. Kate if you don't bring Tony you'll be aloud to see him." As I said that Meredith walked out of the room.
"You've gotta be kidding me." Tony said as Kate looked at me
"Can someone please tell me what is going on? Where is Alex?" Meredith ask as she walked out of the room wiping her eyes.
"I don't know Mom, but I was just asking Tony here to leave."
"Well before he leaves Justin wants to see him."
Copyright 2001, Alex Nelson
Posted: July 20, 2001.