Author Alex Nelson
Broken Facades Chapter 33
What Makes a Hero?
October 10, 2000
All I wish for is to play ball and be happy. Do you remember the saying to be careful what you wish for? Well I don't think that's possible. After our senior quarterback was injured, there went Justin to the rescue. The first game that I took over we lost. It was my first loss in a long time, but I ended up passing for over 250 yards and rushing for close to 100 yards. I hate losing, and Heath saw an ugly side of me. I was pissed and wouldn't talk to him for about an hour. He was so sweet not pushing me, not at all, he just held me while I pouted. He didn't even get mad when he held me and I didn't hold him back. What a guy.
November 15, 2000
This was the part of sports that I hated ... the stress. It had returned and with a vengeance, and now all hell had broken loose because my father had come back.
"Poppa, you didn't have to fly up here for the game, it's just a ..."
"Nonsense Justin, I want to see you play. I haven't seen you play in over a year. Plus a few people, or should I say "friends" are going to be in attendance."
"And who are these so called friends that are coming?"
"Well, just a few friends who have taken an interest in you now that you've shown them that you're not "damaged goods", as everyone thought you were after the incident."
"Poppa, I told you I'm only playing for fun, I don't like all this attention that I'm getting."
"Justin, this is your future. You have a gift, and not using it to its fullest is such a waste of your God given talent."
After that conversation my father kept insisting that I transfer and play my last year at a top 10 school. I asked Heath and Tony what I should do, and Tony said he and his coach would love me to come to UNC, but he wanted me to be happy. Heath felt that I had a great gift, but also thought I should do what would make me happy. He may have smiled, but I could tell that he wasn't happy.
February 10, 2001
Well, football was over and the attention became worse because the team and I did so well, but I think it was starting to wear thin on Heath.
"Hey babe," he said as he entered my apartment, "Are you ready?" he asked as he got closer to where I was sitting on the couch.
"Babe, I really don't feel like going out tonight. You don't understand the kind of day I had," I said as I reached for him to try to pull him to me for a kiss, but once I said that he backed away from me, and I could tell he was pissed.
"Justin, this is the fifth time this week that you don't want to go out. I wanted to go out to talk to you."
"Heath, I don't see why we can't just stay here tonight and cuddle and catch a flick," I said, reaching for him.
"Because Justin, I want to see the town. It's like you're hiding from everybody."
"Well, I just don't want to be hassled, and I know you don't like it," I said as I tried to give him my best puppy dog eyes and pout. "Remember last week ... the blond?" I asked as I reached for him again, only getting his hand.
"She wanted you to sign her chest, and you looked like you enjoyed it," he said. He hit me when I laughed and I finally got his hand, but he pulled away again. "Don't give me that look."
"She wasn't my type," I said again with an innocent look.
"Stop that, you know I hate that look," he said as he got a little closer. "What is your type then?" he asked as he started to smile again.
"Well, let me think, red head, 6' 2, 190 pounds, totally buffed," I said as I got up from the couch and started to run away.
"What? You bitch!" he said as he chased me around the couch and tackled me on it.
"Hey, watch the furniture! You break it, you bought it."
"There is only one thing that I'd buy in this ratty place."
"And what's that?" I asked as I looked into his eyes.
'"You," he said as he returned my look. "Justin, I have to ask you something."
"The answer is yes, but remember I have an early class in the morning, and have batting practice."
"Silly, you don't even know what I'm going to ask," he said, then he started rubbing my chest before laying his head there.
"Yes I do, you're going to ask to stay over tonight," I said with a smile, and kissed the top of his head.
"Not exactly, I want to stay for good," he said as a lone tear rolled down his cheek
May 12, 2001
Ring...Ring...Ring
"Hello?
"Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen."
"Tony! Ah man, is it ever good to hear from you, how's it going bro?"
"I'm good, Kate's good, Alex's Good, Alisa's good, and Brad ... "
"Tony!"
"Ok, Ok, at least I tried, so how goes it?"
"Ah, I could be better, baseball season is turning into a bitch, and my dad's on my ass about the pro shit and the transfer. God, he's riding me worse than in high school."
"And how's lover boy?"
"Heath? He's ok I guess."
"Oh uh, trouble in la-la land?"
"Well, kind of, with all the shit still around from football he's not a happy camper."
"Why? I thought he would be loving the famous Justin Kemper."
"Well, what would Kate do if all the girls were throwing themselves at your feet? Wanting you to sign their ass and chest and throwing panties and bras at you?"
"HA-HA- HA, bro. I thought guys would understand about that shit."
"You really have no idea about gay men, he hates it. Which brings me to him wanting me to come out, which then brings me back to my parents, mainly my dad. He'd kill me because I'd fuck up my life again, because he is pushing me to get either a NFL or baseball contract, which then brings me back to the gay thing again. Sometimes I wish I was not me."
"Wow, sounds like you have some trouble. Have you talked to somebody, Dr. Dan?"
"Tony, don't worry. I'm not going to off myself. Alex and Alisa came up for spring break and we hung out. I think it's getting better."
"I know. I saw them and they told me, but Justin what about Brad, man? The kid is really hurting. He misses you."
"Hey, hey, all the questions. I mean I haven't talked to you in months, and the first thing you do is start riding me?"
"Ok, Ok you got me. Your man called and is worried about you."
"Dammit! Tony, he's really starting to piss me off. What did he say? You know what? Don't tell me. He told you that I don't want him to move in, right?. That I have to get in touch with my gay side, that I have to talk to my parents and should tell them, that I need to get over Brad. Then, when are we going to start being more intimate?"
"Whoa killer, that I didn't need to hear. Bro, he only asked me to talk to you. He did say that you've been a bit stressed out, and to try to talk you into taking a breather, but since you brought it up, why haven't you let him move in yet?"
"I don't know Tony, it's like the next big step in our relationship and I don't know what to do. I never lived with anyone before but my parents. And now he wants to live together just like that."
"Just like that? Justin, you've know this guys for almost two year now, and without giving me details, because I really don't want to know, but you haven't ... you know ...?"
"No Tony, we haven't had sex yet, it's not about that."
"Then what is it about? Don't you love him?"
"With all my heart and soul, but I'm just scared that I can't ever have a normal life with him. I sometimes wish I was just a normal, average guy. No future prospect of fame, no parents or friends pressuring me, no preset destiny. I want to live my life the way that I want to."
"Well bro, I would just tell him that. I think it's what he wants to hear. And then tell dad that too, and to back off."
"I wish it were that simple. It's not just dad anymore, I have to tell myself that too."
July 28, 2001
If I thought the stress of football was bad, I was tickled pink when baseball was over. Jesus H Christ, can't a guy take a shit in peace without a piece of paper being thrown in his face? This fame shit had worn very thin, and now it was causing a rift between Heath and me. I never left the house unless it was for class or practice. I had to get away for the summer, and Heath begged to come home with me.
Although I loved him, I still wasn't ready. He started becoming impatient with me, so I told him that I thought that maybe the whole summer away from each other would be good for us.
The summer was hell. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. When Heath and I went home for the summer I wanted to see if I could do without him. By the third week home I was missing him badly. My father and mother were suffocating me, and now I had not only Tony pestering me about Brad, but the whole fucking city. I dared not call Heath from the house, so after the third week I was calling him from a payphone everyday, sometimes three times a day. As we got closer to going back to school I made a decision. I called Heath and told him only that I would have a surprise for him once we got back to school, and that I loved him.
"Now, you're sure about this?"
"Yes Tony, I want to do it. This summer has been hell without him, I miss him so much."
"Well bro, I'm happy, but you know there's no turning back once you do this. You can't return him to the store like a cheap shirt or to the pound like a puppy," he said as we entered the store.
"I know, mom."
"Hey," he said as he raised his middle finger. "Whatever bro, It's good to see you smiling again. I mean this whole summer it was Heath this and Heath that, God I'm not even that bad."
"What are you talking about? Out of all the couples, you and Kate take the cake."
"Are you kidding me? You should see Brad and Alisa! Me and Alex want to run them over with our cars when they do the 'I love you, No I love you' shit. It sends chill down my spine."
"May I help you gentlemen?"
"I'd like to see two silver bands, please."
August 20, 2001
"Dammit Heath, I'm sorry I'm late, but I had to study game films," I said as I followed him into the living room.
"Dammit yourself, Justin. You could have called," he said as he plopped down on the couch and started pouting. "I sat here all night when I could have gone out with my friends."
"Look, I said I 'm sorry. After the film me and a few of the guys went out drinking. I lost track of the time."
"Well you could have called, and you left the room and the kitchen in a mess. Would it hurt you so much to clean the place every once and awhile and pick up after yourself?"
"Christ Heath, I want a Boyfriend not anther mother!" As soon as I said it I regretted it. "Shit Hon, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I followed him as he got up and walked into the kitchen, where he started to dry plates and refused to look at me.
"Justin, maybe this wasn't such a good idea, us living together," he said as he threw down the towel and turned toward me.
"Heath, it's only been a little over a week."
"Actually it's been 9 day, 12 hours, 30 minutes and 26 seconds," he said with his poker face.
"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to living with someone yet," I said as I started to give him the look again.
"Don't give me that look Justin."
"I'm sorry babe, will you forgive me?" I said as I reached for his waist and wrapped my arms around him.
"Justin, I think ..."
"Shhhh,." I said as we started to sway together.
"But we've been at each other's throats since I moved in. If it's not you never being home and us not spending time together, it's about you being a slob," he said, looking like he was going to start to cry.
"Shhh, I'm really sorry Heath, but all couples go thought this. Hell, Tony and Kate almost broke up after living together."
"But I don't want to lose you."
"You won't. I'll live with the fights just so I can wake up in the morning and see you sleeping in my ...I mean our bed. To be able to hold you, or when I come home to see you in our room studying or asleep. That's well worth all of the knock down, drag 'em out fights that we'll have. Look, I have a very special surprise planned for next month."
"What is it?
"Well if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise now, would it?" I asked as I kissed him on the lips.
"You know how I love surprises."
The rest of the month had its ups and downs. The main reason I let Heath move in was to see if I could hide the fact that I was gay and was living with my boyfriend. If it could work now, then when I turned pro like my father wanted me to it would be a piece of cake, right? Wrong! The stress was at an all time high with Heath living with me. The only other person who knew was Tony. The problem was that I made the mistake of deciding too late to have him move in, so I only could get a one bedroom apartment. Although he lived there, it was like I was hiding him. When the guys from the team came over poor Heath had to put up a front like he was just visiting. I know it wasn't fair to him for me to hide him from the world, but he took it like a trooper and didn't seem to mind as long as we were together. It was more trying for him when we went out. Then he was my friend, not even my roommate. I just thought that once I showed him the rings it would show him that I really loved him, and that even though I was hiding our relationship I would promise to make it work. I just wished I was normal, or a different person.
September 10, 2001
He walked out of the shower with a towel around his waist and one around his shoulders. I was going over my play book when I looked up and instantly it was like I was seeing an angel. He was rubbing his hair with his back to me, and I got out of the bed and went over to him, wrapping my arms around him. "You smell nice."
"I do because I just got out of the shower, silly," he said as he turned around. "Hmm, I want to play." He dropped the towel around his waist and started to pull down my sweats.
"You are so bad," I said "And I'd love to play but," I said pulling up my pants, "We've got an early day tomorrow." I pulled him to me.
"Ahhh baby, please I need to feel you tonight."
"I'm not going anywhere, I have a very special day planned, and you're going to need all your strength," I said as I led him to the bed. "Babe," I said as he pushed me onto the bed and I landed on my back, " I don't want you to be tired in the morning."
"Who said anything about me being tired?" he asked as he again pulled down my sweats, "in the morning." He took my dick in his mouth.
"You are so bad," I said as I reached for his head and started rubbing his hair.
September 11, 2001 - Heath
"Thanks for breakfast, but why did we have to get here so early?" I asked Justin as we walked as close to each other as we could, just trying to maintain body contact.
"I want to be the first ones there," he said as he pointed at the towers, still many blocks away.
"Okay, it's just the twin towers, we've been there before."
"Well today is very special," he said, and with a smile he reached up to my cheek and lightly stroked it. Suddenly we heard a huge explosion.
"Oh my god! What happened?" I screamed.
Justin looked confused, " I don't know," and started looking around.
Suddenly people started pouring out of the building we were in front of and onto the street, looking towards the towers. I saw flames and thick black smoke pouring from several upper floors of one of the buildings. It was too much to take in. I started trembling and a huge knot developed in my gut. "Oh my god, the Tower is on fire, Justin, what happened?"
"I don't know Heath, I don't know!" he said shakily as he reached for my hand.
"Oh my god, was it a bomb?" a lady asked as she looked up.
"God I hope not! Heath, we have to do something," Justin said as he started pulling me downtown and closer to the World Trade Center.
"Oh my god, a plane just hit the Trade Center!" a woman screamed as she ran by the both of us.
"A fucking plane? How the fuck did a plane hit the tower?" I asked Justin. I was in shock. I had heard of a plane hitting the Empire State Building once, but the Trade Center? The look on Justin's face was one I had never seen before. It was a look of shock and fear as we saw people running in both directions, towards the towers and away from them. The ones coming from the Trade Center direction were screaming and shouting for help and warning everyone to stay away from the buildings.
"Oh God Heath, we have to do something!" Justin shouted, and he started muscling his way through the crowd.
I grabbed the back of his shirt and shrieked, "Where are you going?" Just when he turned to look at me there was another explosion and we both looked around to see an enormous ball of flame erupting from the second tower. People around us screamed that another plane had flown straight into it. Justin and I stood there with our mouths gaping open as the horror of the scene unfurled before us. It was impossible, unbelievable, but it was right in front of us
Justin tugged away from me but I grabbed him again, fearful of what might happen next. "Justin wait," I pleaded. "Babe, let the police and fire department handle it, it's what they're trained to do."
It was no use, he had a look of determination on his face. "I can't just stand here and watch! People are dying in there, we have to help!" He turned and started to hurry towards the scene while I stayed as close to him as I could.
It was slow going. When we were just a few blocks away we could see people were running out of the buildings and towards us. There was debris all over the place, a scene of complete madness and mayhem..
We stopped for a minute, trying to figure out what to do next. "Oh Shit! Oh shit, No!" Justin cried out. I was now beyond stunned. There was nothing that could describe the chilling, empty feeling that washed over me as I reached for Justin's hand. We were in public, but he squeezed my hand as tightly as I was squeezing his.
"My God!" was all I could say while thousands of people ran in our direction, trying to get away from the burning buildings. Justin and I just stood there. I turned to him and a tear was rolling down his cheek. He pulled me to him with my back against his chest and just held me while we watched people running and screaming past us.
"Heath, I have to do something. I feel helpless!"
"Justin what can we do?" I asked as I squeezed his arm tighter.
Suddenly a middle aged lady fell down about a hundred feet in front of us and Justin and I ran to help her up.
"Thank you," she said, crying.
"Heath, take her and get as far away as you can."
"Justin, where are you going?"
"I'm going to see if I can get closer and help some more people. Don't worry, I'll be okay."
"Oh God Justin, don't do it!"
Tears washed his face when he said, "I have to, Heath. Trust me, I'll be back. I just want to help."
I groaned audibly, "Promise you'll get out of there if it looks too dangerous?"
"I will," he grimaced as he turned to figure out which way to go. Then he turned to face me again. "Heath, you mean the world to me. You'll never know how much you helped me when I really needed it most. I need you in my life. I promise that I'll do all I can to make things work between us. " He grinned through his tears and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, "I'll even do the dishes! It's my best promise, Heath. I love you." Justin pulled me to him and we kissed deeply. He handed me a small, gift-wrapped box and told me to wait for him at the coffee shop where we'd had breakfast. After a long and meaningful glance, he gripped my shoulder and said, "Go," then he walked away.
I watched him go, a feeling of emptiness engulfing me. Long after Justin had disappeared from view, I turned around and started walking north. I'd gone several blocks when I heard something that sounded like rolling thunder, a deep and chilling rumble. When I turned around I saw the most terrifying sight I have ever seen it my life, one of the towers coming down. An enormous cloud of smoke and debris was pouring into the streets and starting to roll towards me. I couldn't even think at first, I was so shocked, then it hit me.
"JUSTIIIIIIIN!" I screamed so loudly that it hurt my throat. There was no hope for an answer, so I watched in horror before I whimpered, "Justin?"
The End
I want to thank the staff at GWG and Nifty for allowing me to post my story on this website. Without you guys nobody would ever have seen this tale.
I also want to thank the person who helped inspire me to stay one step ahead of him and all his crazy plot suggestions. He also helped me write several chapters. If it was not for this guy, there would be no Broken Facades, or if there was it would look like crap. Driver, thank you. You're the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. I mean that. I would have never gotten this far if you hadn't kicked me in the butt when I needed it, and encouraged me when I needed that.
This story was written to help me deal with some things that I went through as a youngster, and it has helped me a lot. Like life, it is far from over. Be on the lookout for Book 2 of the Broken Facades series, called "The Journal".
I do want to say something about this last chapter. At the time of the September 11th attacks I was in the midst of a major bout with depression. I had lost my job and didn't feel like writing anymore, and the events of that day only made it worse. I write to help me get through things, and the way I chose to end Broken Facades was my way of getting past September 11. I pray that I haven't offended anyone. The events of that horrible day are etched in all of our memories and will never be forgotten. I wanted to portray Justin as a young man of courage, and trust that the readers of this tale will accept that. If I've offended anyone I am truly sorry.
Alex
Copyright 2001, Alex Nelson