I was a good boy in the past 19 years. And I wanna be the same in the future. But I have a short story, may be a little of boring, anyway it's my story, it's true.
Brown Eyed Guy
The situation is kinda funny and dramatic. I will try my best to depict it as compactly as possible. You know sometimes when I begin to recall the things remembered to the end of my life, if I get the key to open my heart, I would dash along. It would make you feel so bored. Erik told me so. Erik is my ex, I love him all the same. I'm the sort who falls in love easily but hard to leave or hands off. Well, hands off, Erik told me the word.
The third day after his leaving. I decided to change my life. But how, I'm not sure. Late in that night I step into a gay bar with quite a lot of tension, it's my first time. I felt many eyes fix on my face, scorching. Even I wanted to turn back, get out of here. I stoped , looked very silly. I swept around, all the guys (or gay) were looking at me. I were on thorns.
I forget the details about how I shaking off the how-do-you-do. Someone asked gently "may I bought you a drink." I knew that in his mind it was not so gently as his appearance. But I smiled to him, like a chippie, slut ,callet or something else. Then he said how about getting laid. Wow, he is frank. I appreciated his honest. It's better than a whited sepulcher.
He was looking into my eyes, I didn't like that. He has a pair of soft brown eyes. Like Erik's. I avoided looking at his eyes and said "let's go."
I was nuts that night. I must be crazy. I never considered the dangerous there might be. Fortunately he is not that bad.
Now I can tell you his name is Daniel, one of my favourite names. He was about 24 and I was 18 then.( it was one year ago)
We went to his apartment. After showering, I sat on his bed under his sheets and he was naked. I kept silent and he was talking about his profile(I think that's nothing more than a profile).
I stoped him and asked "you don't really want to do?"
He looked at me and said sorry. I knew that he wanted me to know well about him but I don't wanna anything more than getting laid. It was my first one night stand and I acted like an experienced whore.
He wore a condom and asked "you sure you wanna me to wear, you know I haven't fucked for a month. I haven't got AIDS."
I smiled "You do a lot now. You like enjoying it. Even a little of showing off."
I was looking at him. He is not bad. I liked his six packed and his dick was quite magnificent. He was rubbing his cock trying to make it harder.
I got closer and began to lick his gun. It's thick. The veins of it pulsing against my tongue and I gonna choke.
Suddenly I thought of Erik. I conceived I had forgotten him. I can't help weeping.
`Hey what's wrong babe." He patted my back and said "don't be afraid. we can stop if you don't get ready."
I shaked my head " keep going." I lay myself beside him and watching his wearing a condom..
"Do you know why most of men can't use condom if they want to." I wept
He smiled " why?"
`Because their cocks," I grinned, " because their cocks don't get hard enough."
"hahaha", he laughed "I wouldn't."
He kept down on my back and kissed my neck my ears my eyes my nose ,when his lips reached my lips I refused.
Without any sentimental bullshits, just raw desire. To be fucked by some guy ,anyone, a nobody.
I didn't want to see the man who screw me. Or I looked at him. I wanna be nothing more than a hole,, a pit. The more gaping in the hole , the more obscene. The more my intimacy was exposed, the more I surrender. It was not physical.
His picked up speed and he was whooping into my ears.
"Chris,,I'm,,I'm cumming."
I couldn't say a word. I embedding my head deep into the pillow. Tearing.
I disappeared in the proportion to the cock taking me. I became hollow. I lost my purity.
"well, it's my turn." Daniel pulled out his gun from my ass lying down.
He made me surprised. He is not the it-guy. I don't know why I wept again.
"Hey, babe, what's wrong? Did I hurt you." He was kinda nervous.
"No. I just feel sad and a bit tired. I'm sorry." I whimpered like a child.
"Come over." He smiled to me. I like his smile but fear as well. I'm afraid to fell in love. I'm afraid to be hurt again.
He rolled me over onto his shoulder holding me close to him. He gave me a reassuring squeeze. And with that my dam burst. I sobbed openly on his shoulder, clutching him tightly.
He hugged me , I was cuddled. I melted into his arms. I like that and fear as well.
"Do you wanna have caress?" He asked.
"No. I don't like tenderness. Or to be kissed on the mouth . I couldn't stand that all." I looked at him, his brown eyes, made me wanna cry.
"Why? You shouldn't stand. If you feel something, let it be."
"I'm sorry Daniel, I really careless who stuffs my ass a cock. But I kiss someone I have to love him a lot. It's way too intimate."
He sighed, holding my head, kissed off the tears in my eyes.
"I want to know you, I want to know you more. May I ?" He stared at me.
"If I were you I wouldn't say that to someone I picked up from a bar for fucking." I put on my clothes as soon as possible. I have to leave here before I fell in love with him. It's absurd. I told myself I just wanna get laid,,I don't need a new start and I began to think of Erik.
He was looking behind.
"well," I turned around to him, "I gotta go."
"I accompany you to the downstairs."
"Thank you." I smiled to him and I gonna cry in my mind.
That night was kinda cold, he wore a white shirt without buttoning.
"I really gotta go." I dared not look his brown eyes again.
Suddenly he pulled me into his arms, I could hear his heartbeat. I kissed him in the end. I feel like it. When I kissed him I stopped thinking about Erik. So I decided to stop seeing him again. It was a question of integrity. I didn't want to hurt him as well as I didn't want to be hurt.
I've never seen again. Only his brown eyes left in my mind.