***** DISCLAIMER: All the same rules apply. If you're too young, go away, if you don't like readying male/male erotic stories, go away, blah, blah, blah and so on!
This story is my first attempt at slash and is a work of fiction and in no way implies that the boys of Westlife or Boyzone are gay or bisexual other than Steven Gaytley who is openly gay.
Other possible groups and singers to be added into this story as it progresses are, N'sync, BSB, Ricky Martin, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Bree Sharp, Tara McLain, Madonna, Cher, Mariah Carey, and many more.
If you like this story and want to see it continue please e-mail me at Mizzpembroke@yahoo.com and let me know what you think. Opinions wanted and needed, all e-mails will be answered personally. So let me know. This is part two of hopefully my continuing storyline. Thank you to all of those readers who sent me comments. *****
CAN'T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD CHAPTER TWO Written by Mizz Pembroke Edited by Darren LeVanelle.
"Shane what the hell is your problem?" Ronan asked demandingly as he sat down next to him on the side of the road. He had already called a cab that should be there shortly. When Ronan received no response from Shane he put his arm around Shane's shoulder that was shrugged off forcefully and with anger.
"Don't fucking touch me damnit!"
"Don't speak to me in that tone of voice and tell me what's wrong."
"I don't want to talk about it alright?"
"No. It's not all right Shane. Until you can tell me what's wrong and correct your attitude you won't be performing in any of the concerts." Ronan said.
"What? You can't do that!" Shane bellowed.
"I can and I will. I can't have you trying to pummel Nicky every time you gents have an argument."
"We didn't have and argument, we..." Shane stopped talking.
"Well, we what? "
"We, I...I allowed him to do something to me that I believe is wrong!"
"Ok, let me get this right...I'm going on what I gathered from the punch fest in the limo that you, Bryan and Nicky shared a private sexual encounter. Am I right so far?"
"Yeah." Shane said reluctantly.
"And you feel it was wrong?"
"Well, yes. It goes against my morals and it made me feel dirty...it's just wrong!"
"So...Steven and Liam's relationship is wrong?"
"Yes. No...I don't know. It's just that it's wrong for me."
"Ok. Tell me why, and how it happened."
"It's kinda your fault." Shane said with a small laugh. "Because you gave us such as short time to get ready we all ended up in the shower together. Bryan and I were...hard, I mean it's like when your in gym class and you have to shower in front of other guys you get nervous and well...anyway one thing led to another and..." Shane trailed off.
"And?" Ronan prodded Shane to continue.
"We where joking around and Nicky said he was aroused because he had two cute guys in the shower with him. We've always known Nicky was gay. It's never been an issue. Even at the auditions for the new group members he shamelessly flirted with Kian."
"So something happened?"
"Yeah."
"But if it bothered you why didn't you stop it?" Ronan ventured.
"Well at the time I liked it. I guess what they say about gay guys is true, they do give better head."
"Yes, they do!"
"What do you mean...I thought you were straight?"
"I am. But before I got married and I first learned that Steven was gay...we fooled around a bit. But I came to the same conclusion you have. It's not my thing, but if it's what Steven wants then I support him all the way."
"Does your wife know?"
"Yes, she knows about the experience but not who the person was. Oh I'm sure she suspects that it was Steven but I think that for her it's better not to ask."
"But what about Liam? Does he know?"
"No he does not and I would like to keep it that way! Understand?" He looked at Shane as he shook his head yes. "Good, now I think you need to get some rest and I suggest you talk to Nicky tomorrow and let him know where you stand on what happened." Ronan finished what he had to say as the cab pulled up next to them.
The six of them sat in silence as the limo headed to the arena until Steven noticed the look of concern on Liam's face. "What's that look for babe? Hello, are you in there?"
"What? Oh yeah I'm here." Liam said coming out of a thick fog of emotions.
"What's wrong?"
"Something you and Ronan referred to is bothering me. Who's Rockie?" Liam asked getting straight to the point.
"Rockie," Steven started out hesitantly, "Was the crew member that management fired, the one who was going to out me to the public to pay them back. He was also stalking me."
"What happened?" Liam asked with frustration, angered that he wasn't there to help.
"As it happens, it came down to a confrontation involving a gun. When I came forward about being gay before he could out me he went nuts and tried to kill me. But I handled myself very well I might add...and well he's in jail now for attempted murder."
Everyone including Liam looked at Steven with shocked expressions. Even Nicky turned his head to look up, which had been in Bryan's lap as he tried to recover from the fight with Shane. "What? You never told us tha...oh god my head is killing me." Nicky broke off from his question.
"Hey, don't hurt yourself." Bryan said as he bent down and kissed Nicky's forehead.
"Oh, that is so cute." Steven said avoiding Liam's stares.
"So umm, does this mean you two are,umm...together?" Mark asked as he shyly looked from Kian to Bryan and Nicky. Nicky looked up at Bryan not knowing what to say or expect.
"I don't know. I never thought of my self as," Bryan stuttered out the last few words, "g...gay or bisexual, but when I saw Shane hurt Nicky I wanted to kill him." He finished as he absentmindedly ran his hand through Nicky's hair. "What do you think Nicky?" He asked.
"Well I don't know...I always thought Bryan was sexy but I never thought I'd have a chance. It would be strange but I wouldn't mind giving it a try." Nicky said as he looked shyly into Bryan's face.
As a smile crossed his face Bryan looked down at Nicky laying in his lap and said "Guess what? You definitely have a chance!"
"You mean it?"
"Yeah, I do." Bryan leaned down into Nicky's face and lightly brushed his lips as light as a feather across Nicky's lips.
Dear Journal, March 4th
Things have gotten really strange around here. Shane and I got into a fight in the limo last night about what happened in the shower yesterday and he gave me a pretty good black eye and sore ribcage. Ronan took him out of the concert last night and believe me people noticed. When we got out of the limo the press and fans went crazy and asked us where Shane was. When Steven took the mic in front of the cameras he told them that Shane had a case of the flu and would be returning to the concert soon.
I was hoping to skate by the press and fans but that wasn't the case. Bryan, now that's another story...but that's later, he gave me a pair of his sunglasses to cover the black eye but as always the press doesn't miss anything. They noticed the eye immediately. At first they asked if there had been a dispute among the band but I told them that we were mobbed by a group of fans at dinner and they got a little carried away. That seemed to appease their curiosity.
Ok, now to the really juicy stuff. I never thought anything like this would happen...then again I never thought what happened in the shower would happen either, but Bryan and I are, get this, DATING. Can you believe it? Neither can I. When we got back here to the motel room after the concert Shane was already asleep but he wrote me a note saying he wanted to talk to me today. Right now he's in the shower. Anyway before we went to bed last night Bryan kissed me goodnight and crawled in beside me until I fell asleep, but I guess he was there all night because when I woke up he was still here. I wonder what Shane thought when he woke up and saw us in bed together? I wonder what he wants to talk about anyway?
Always Nicky
Nicky closed his journal and looked over at Bryan who was fixing his hair and making small adjustments in front of the wall mirror that hung next to the closed bathroom door witch was currently being occupied by Shane. Bryan caught Nicky looking at him through the mirror. Smiling he asked, "Hey guy, what are you thinking about?"
Nicky smiled and laughed nervously. "You, me, Shane...the group!"
Bryan threw the comb on his bed and walked over to where Nicky was sitting on the couch and took a seat next to him. "That's a lot to think about all at once. You want to talk about it?"
"There are just so many things to consider and think about. I mean, are we doing the right thing? You know, you and me, how will the record label handle it, and Ronan and the guys...and Shane! I mean, sure Kian and Mark know but will they accept it once it sinks in and...and are you sure this is what you want?" He whispered coming to the main worry on his mind. Nicky kept his gaze focused on the geometric designs of the couch in an effort to avoid Bryan's eyes, not wanting to see any hesitation Bryan might be having. He knew their eyes had to connect at some point so Nicky slowly looked up into Bryan's young and attractive face.
"Is that what your worried about? Listen, I know I've come across as a playboy and I know that's what the fans think. God, if you believed everything that the media says about me...well I guess you'd think I was a slut but I'm not." Bryan paused, scooted closer to Nicky and pulled him into a laying position in his lap, wrapping his arms around Nicky's chest. "I know I've led on like I'm a playboy and all, even to you and the other guys but...the truth is...I've only been with one girl sexually my whole life." Nicky looked up at him with a look of shock. "No, Really, I'm not joking," he said as he noticed the look on Nicky's face. "I was fifteen and convinced myself I was in love with her but I was young and stupid. I let my friends talk me into it really, I was never really attracted to her but...I don't know any more!" Bryan said frustrated with the memory of it.
"What do you mean?" Nicky asked confused.
"Well...I, let me ask you a question. How...how did you know you were gay?"
Nicky thought a few moments before he answered. "I just knew. When I looked at girls I thought they were pretty but I never got aroused even when my cousin and I stole my dads nudie mags. I would just think 'what is she thinking? Blue eye shadow? And the hair?' I won't bore you with any more details." Kian let out a small chuckle. "Well that's not completely true. My cousin got aroused by all the naked girly pictures...and well, this may sound gross to you, but I got aroused when I noticed that my cousin Trey had a hard-on." Nicky finished all embarrassed. "Why do you ask?"
Bryan thought about the question then responded. "I'm not exactly sure but well I've never really thought of myself as gay or straight, I mean I know your attractive and you're a good looking gent but on the other hand Britney Spears with all her bubble gum pop knee surgery enhancements is appealing to the eyes. I always thought when the right person came a long I'd know."
"Oh, I see." Nicky sighed.
"No, I don't think you do. I'm not dating you just because you gave me the best blowjob of my young inexperienced life. But because I...I think you might...be the one." Bryan breathed whispering into Nicky's ear.
Just then the bathroom door swung open.
"Ok, ok. I give up. I'm sorry. I'm sure Britney Spears would date you!"
Catching on and playing along Bryan gave Nicky a nuggie then let him go looking up at Shane laughing.
Shane came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and another over his right shoulder and looked at them with a quizzical expression. "What are you to wrestling about?" After a short pause with Nicky and Bryan looking back and forth at each other Bryan fielded the question and stated, "Nicky here and I got into a discussion about weather or not I would have more of a chance with Britney Spears or Mandy Moore. Spike over here says Mandy but I say that equals jail time. 15 will get you 20."
"Well Mandy may be young but she is cute. And on the other hand Britney is sexy as long as she keeps her mouth shut. And she might pop if you don't handle her with care!" Shane said as he rifled through his closet in search of the perfect outfit.
Nicky gave Bryan a questioning look letting him know that he wanted time alone with Shane to talk about last nights events.
"We have to leave soon so I'm gonna see if Kian and Mark are up yet." Bryan said a little too obviously as he got up from the couch and headed to the bedroom door. Looking back he gave Nicky a look of good luck closing the door behind him.
"Um, Shane. We...umm," Nicky started out stammering with unease.
"Don't trip Nicky. I know we need to talk." Shane said as he finished gathering his clothes and tossed them on his bed. He started to remove his towel but hesitated. Nicky noticed and started to head to the bathroom to give Shane the privacy Nicky could tell Shane wanted. "You don't have too Nicky. I have to get used to getting undressed around you again besides it's not like being naked in front of each other is something new to us." Nicky didn't respond but out of respect kept his eyes focused on the floor as Shane removed his towel and got dressed. "Thanks," Shane said as he turned around and realized Nicky had kept his back turned while he had dressed.
Nicky looked up at Shane, opened his mouth to start then stopped when he realized he didn't know what to say. "Sorry." He said as Shane kept his gaze steady upon him.
"Why? You have no need to be sorry. I was the one that flew of the handle and reacted badly, childishly, and not like a true friend. I'm sorry and I apologize for the way I acted..." Nicky still didn't know what to say and stayed quiet so Shane continued. "I didn't know how to deal with what happened and it freaked me out..."
Nicky cut him off. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that you felt that way. If I had I never would have..."
"You have nothing to be sorry about. Like I said before, it's not like you were doing something that I wasn't enjoying at the time. It was amazing, but I didn't think I would feel so guilty afterwards. I'm sorry I hit you...how's your eye doing?"
"Oh, it's fine. The swelling went down and the discoloration's faded a lot, but my ribcage is still bothering me!" Nicky laughed nervously. He looked over at Shane's look of concern and regret. "Don't worry about it Shane. I'm fine." Seeing an opportunity Nicky continued, "Shane...I think you should know that Bryan and I are..."
Just then Mark opened the bedroom door and gazed at them shyly, "Sorry to interrupt but umm, Ro wants to have a meeting before we leave for rehearsals." Nicky and Shane looked from each other to Mark, shrugged their shoulders, then followed him out.
As they came into the living room of their hotel suite Bryan notice that Nicky passed up the available seat next to him on the over stuffed couch and sat on one of the stools at the mini-bar signifying that he hadn't had the chance to tell Shane about them like Nicky had wanted.
Ronan clapped his hands together and smiled at everyone around the room. "Well, everyone here looks tense. Last night was definitely interesting. Shane, Nicky, did you two have a chance to settle the problems this morning?"
"Yeah." Shane said.
"Most of them." Nicky said with a worried look.
"Ok...so what didn't you have chance to tell him?" Ronan asked in a mediator's tone
"Well, I...um, I didn't get a chance to let him know about, um...well what I talked to you about earlier this morning!" Nicky said directing his response to Ronan.
"Ah, have you mutually come to a decision?" Steven asked from behind Ronan. Nicky had asked Steven to be present during the discussion this morning and Steven and Liam decided, apparently, to stick around longer.
Nicky turned his gaze to Bryan who had a huge grin on his face. Nicky smiled and shyly answered "Yes" to Steven's question.
"Well...what did you guy's decide?" Kian asked shocking everyone but Shane who was the only one left in the dark. Noticing everyone's face Kian continued. "What? I'm not stupid. I think I know what this is about. It's about..."
"KIAN!" Ronan, Steven, Bryan, and Nicky yelled at him in unison
He cringed and shut up.
"You want to say something, Nicky?" Ronan asked getting everyone back on track.
"What the hell is going on?" Shane asked. "Why is everyone skating around Nicky like he's committed murder or something?" Everyone stayed silent so Shane continued. "Ok, why is everybody so pensive...what's the big deal?" Still receiving no answer he asked "Is this about Nicky and Bryan together?" Shane looked around at each shocked expressions. "What? I'm not blind."
"How did you know we were together?" Bryan asked bewildered.
"Well let's see. You two were in bed together when I woke up this morning, I wasn't asleep last night when both of you came in. Oh, by the way, you two really need to learn to kiss quietly. And then there was that total bogus fight/wrestle seen when I came out of the shower..."
"What do you mean BOGUS?" Bryan asked slightly offended.
"Well, for one thing, you'd never think of dating or thinking of Mandy in a sexual manner because she looks too much like your little sister. And as for Britney...you're not into synthetic parts that I know of anyway."
"Hey! Britney had knee surgery!" Mark said with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah, and I'm sure there's a lot of young girls out there that want knee surgery" Liam said laughing
"And you're ok with this Shane?" Ronan asked as he poured himself a drink from the mini-bar.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Everyone looked at him with blank faces.
"Look. I know what I did last night was wrong and I've apologized."
"Ok, that brings us to a few decisions that need to be talked about. Bryan, Nicky. How do you want to handle this with the press?"
"I think for now we keep it out of the press until Bryan and I have had a chance to discuss it further, and Steven. I'd like to get your opinion on this subject later."
"Fine, sure." Steven answered flattered.
"I guess that's it for now. You gents have a busy day ahead of you. I think we all know where everyone stands. That's it for now. We leave in fifteen minutes." Ronan said authoritatively.
As everybody got up to get ready Nicky walked over to Bryan and discussed something in a low tone then walked over to Steven and Liam who were talking with Ronan, asking both Steven and Liam if they would join Bryan and himself for dinner before tonight's concert then went to his room to gather his stuff together making sure to grab his journal and threw it in his backpack.