Caution and Courage

CAUTION AND COURAGE

PART EIGHT

After two days of deliberation and frequent discussions with Billy, Will made up his mind. "I'm going to visit my parents," he said in an unusually casual way.

"GOOD!" Billy exclaimed. "I betcha decided to tolerate yur daddy's criticisms, too."

"No. I'm going to do three things. One, I'm going to tell him ... not ask him ... to lay off the criticism and insults. Two, I'm going to tell him that I love him. That second part is because you've opened my eyes to the possibility that he loves me but his pride or whatever hasn't let him show it. He'll probably be surprised that I stood up to his verbal abuse but I suspect he'll be rendered speechless to hear me say I love him."

"I s'pose yur right on both counts. But ya said ya'd do three things. What's the third?"

"I'd appreciate your help on that one, Billy. If you're willing and can get a few days off work I'd like you to come with me. One reason is that he would be more likely to control his temper in the presence of a stranger. Another reason is that I want my whole family to meet my life partner. And yes, that means I'm going to tell them that we're gay and plan to live as a couple."

"WOAH!," Billy interrupted. "I'm not so sure bout that. Based on whatcha been tellin' me bout yur daddy, he ain't gonna like ya pickin' a country hick from Miss'ippi for a partner. I'm thinkin' it'd just make im madder for not pickin' a friend that's more like he thinks ya oughta have. On top o' learning yur gay, it'd be a real kick in the butt for im."

"First of all, you are NOT a country hick. You've got more smarts than you give yourself credit for. And if he dares to challenge me on that count, I'm ready to set him straight. He may have difficulty seeing past your Southern accent but it's important that he meets the new member of the family. This is speculation but I think his first reaction -- shock, disapproval, or even anger -- will fade over time. A much longer time than it took your father but I think ... I hope ... he will mellow as time goes by. So, are you willing to come with me and help me with my plan?"

Billy scrunched up his face in deep thought and finally said, "Ya told me once part' is the most important part of partner'. That means we stick together through thick and thin. If'n ya want me by yur side, I'll be there for ya. Course I gotta see if'n I can get vacation time at work but that'll be no problem cause I been there for more than a year and the Union contract says I get a week's vacation. When ya wanna go?"

"My mother's birthday is in five weeks. I thought I'd write to my sister and tell her I want to surprise Mother for her birthday."

"That'll be a surprise, shore nuff!" Billy said. "Even bigger if'n I tag `long with ya. Maybe ya better warn yur sister there'll be two of us."

"More proof," Will exclaimed, "that you have superior `people smarts' along with your uncommonly good sense. I'll tell her more than that we're both coming. I'll tell her on the way from the airport to the house that we're gay and partners."

"Is that such a good idea?" Billy asked.

"I think so. She's not at all like my father. Remember when I told you about working in the soup kitchen because Dad wanted me to see what `welfare leeches' were really like? Well, she thought he was totally misguided and she seemed interested in hearing my stories of the good folks who had to get their meals in a soup kitchen. She's not as liberal as I am but I'm sure she'll be okay with having a gay brother."

Will's letter to his sister went through several drafts until he and Billy agreed on appropriate wording that included a strong suggestion of their true relationship. Carolyn would, they were sure, deduce the meaning but on the minimal chance that her parents saw it, they would never suspect:

"...My good friend, Billy Simpson will come with me. I hope you don't mind. He's an important part of my life...."

<><><><><>

Will's sister, Carolyn, met Will and Billy in the baggage claim area of JFK airport just past noon on a Saturday. She was, as Will had predicted, very pleased to see her brother and was very cordial to Billy. On the drive to her apartment the conversation was carried mostly by her and Will in the front seat. Eventually, however, she could not resist confirming what she thought was the implication in Will's letter. "Hey, Will. Help me out. You said in your letter that Billy is an important part of your life. Does that mean what I think it means?"

Teasing his sister, Will replied with a grin, "Since I don't know what you think it means, I can't answer your question."

Exasperated, Carolyn snapped, "Okay, smart ass! What does it mean?"

Will learned long ago there was a limit to how much he could tease his big sister. Her sharp comment signaled the limit had been reached. "The short answer is that we're gay and committed life partners. The long answer is that we love each other. That love took root when we were in Basic Training and flourished. It's the reason we were discharged from the Navy ... not because we DID anything while on duty but just because we're gay. Since that time, in Ann Arbor, our love has grown stronger. New here's a question for you, Sis. How do you feel about having a queer brother?"

The long pause before she answered disturbed both Billy and Will but she replied, "I can't say I'm totally surprised. I wondered about you when you were in High School and rarely dated any girls. But I figured it was just another of your passing phases. How do I feel? It isn't what I'd like but I'm smart enough to know that your happiness is what's important. So! Congratulations to you both! May you continue to be happy together. But you know Mom and Dad will not be pleased when they find out. Are you going to tell them?"

"Yes," Will answered. "It's not the sort of birthday present that I'd normally choose for Mom but Billy and I have discussed all the options and decided they have a right to know ... even if it upsets them. There will never be a good time to tell them so it may as well be done and over with."

<><><><><>

Will's mother's reaction when they walked into the house was temporarily speechless surprise. Will broke the silence by saying, "Happy Birthday, Mom. I hope you don't mind the surprise visit."

The response was typical of her: a sugar-coated, veiled criticism. "How sweet of you, Willard. I wish you had told me you were coming."

"This is my friend, Billy Simpson. We met in the Navy."

Mrs. Benson summoned her practiced charm and gushed, "I'm very pleased to meet you, Billy,"

"And I'm pleased t' meet ya, ma'am," Billy replied. "Will's done tol' me bout all the good things ya done for im growin' up."

The woman was unsuccessful in concealing her disdain for the accent and grammar but recovered quickly and said through a forced smile, "Would you like to sit out on the patio? It's such a splendid day. We can chat and get to know each other." Without waiting for an acceptance of the suggestion, she called into the kitchen, "Angela! Bring a pitcher of ice tea and four glasses to the patio."

They settled into luxuriously padded outdoor chairs around a large table shaded by a massive umbrella. Billy found the view of the swimming pool and grounds was breathtaking for the meticulously manicured shrubbery and abundance of colorful flower gardens. Will had told him about the sumptuous house his family lived in but seeing it made the description seem completely inadequate.

"We're having a few friends in tonight after dinner. Jeffrey, that's my husband, insisted on celebrating my birthday. It's actually not until Monday but you know how hectic weeknights are. You will join us, won't you?"

Will knew that "a few friends" meant a houseful of stuffed shirts, many of whom had trophy wives who would not-so-subtly be showing off their gowns, jewelry, and fleshy assets. Consequently, he was prepared with what he hoped would be a gentle way of declining the invitation. "Thanks, Mom. But neither Billy nor I brought the proper clothing for a formal party. We just wanted to be here to help celebrate your birthday. Perhaps we can do that over dinner before your party."

Another mother might have said, "Nonsense! It's you that's important, not the clothes you wear." Instead, she said, "That's a pity. Maybe another time."

Only Will and Carolyn recognized their mother's response was one of relief. Billy surely didn't.

Angela brought the ice tea and a tray of hors d'oeuvres -- tiny cucumber sandwiches and some sort of vegetable bits that even Billy with his farm background couldn't recognize. Without saying `Thank you,' Mrs. Benson said to the housekeeper, "We will be five for dinner tonight."

Will asked, "Will Dad be here for dinner?"

"Yes," his mother replied. "He's golfing with clients at the moment. Or perhaps in the clubhouse having a few drinks. But he promised to be home for dinner. You know how it is. Working when you're playing." She chuckled at her own weak joke; the others--out of politeness only--laughed. "My goodness, she gushed. We're being rude, Billy. We haven't let you say anything. Tell me about yourself."

"Ain't much to say, ma'am. Ya can tell from my accent I'm from Miss'ippi. Grew up on a farm till my folks moved to Detroit. Wasn't there long, though cause I joined the Navy." Will had briefed his lover on tactics to deal with his parents so Billy transitioned quickly. "That was a great experience, it was. The Basic Trainin' was no fun but I learned a lot. That's where I met Will. And bein' at sea was an adventure. We even crossed the equator. Out in the middle of the Pacific. Funny thing is, we lost a whole day crossin' the date line but got it back when we sailed back home."

Continuing her probe into Billy's background (or, one might say cynically and accurately), his worthiness to be her son's friend, she asked, "Your family lives in Detroit?"

"Yes, ma'am." Billy was reluctant to say more. He was proud of his family's loving nature and ethics but he was unwilling to divulge details because they contrasted so sharply with the Benson's affluence. He was grateful that the undisguised interrogation was interrupted by Mr. Benson walking out of the house.

"WILL!" he exclaimed. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"Hello, Father," Will said as he stood to shake hands. "I thought I would surprise Mom for her birthday."

"And a surprise it is!" the man said. "I've wondered why you didn't come home after leaving the Navy. In fact, I've wondered why you left the Navy. I sincerely hope it wasn't a disciplinary move. You never really explained it in your letters as I expected you would. And I see you've brought another unexpected guest."

Will Ignored the subtle chastisement behind his father's greeting but couldn't resist giving a retort. "Good to see you, too, Father." Will paused just long enough for the sarcasm to register and then said, "I'd like you to meet my friend, Billy Simpson. We met in Basic Training and were shipmates on a couple of trips to Vietnam."

Billy stood, extended a hand to shake hands with Mr. Benson (The gesture was rudely ignored.), and said, "Mighty pleased to meetcha, Sir. I'm hopin' ya don't mind my taggin' along with Will here."

"Not at all," the man lied. Turning to his wife, he continued, "Can I see you inside a moment?" Addressing Will, he said, "We won't be long."

"Take your time," Will said. "Billy and I will get our things from the car."

"Right!" Mr. Benson said. "Put your belongings in your old bedroom. Your friend" (pointedly not using Billy's name) "can use the guest room. Show him where it is." That last sentence was delivered more like an order than a suggestion.

Having deposited their luggage in separate bedrooms, Will went to the guest room and said, "Just about what I expected. Neither one of them said they were glad to see me. Both of them acted as if I'm intruding into their lives."

"I'm thinkin' yur maybe puttin' too much interpretation on it. That's just the way they is. Or at least whatcha told me bout em. I figure it went purty well. A big sight better n when ya break the big news to em."

"Because I trust your judgment, Billy, I'll concede that my perception might be a little off base. Maybe my memories of criticism and disapproval are warping my thinking. I'll try to keep your counsel in mind."

"Have ya decided when yur gonna tell em bout us?

"Certainly not tonight ... what with their party and all. Maybe tomorrow. It used to be their habit to go out for brunch after church. If we're invited -- and I'm sure we will be -- I might tell them in the restaurant. Neither of them will dare make a scene in public. The tirade will come when we get home but perhaps the shock will have worn off somewhat by then."

<><><><><>

The brunch at a posh restaurant was delicious but neither Will nor Billy could fully enjoy the meal because they were preoccupied with the looming prospect of breaking the news to Will's parents who would undoubtedly be shocked and saddened. Billy's anxiety was particularly high because he had never been in such elegant surroundings for a meal. He participated very little in the conversation for reasons beyond his nervousness. He didn't want to embarrass himself or disappoint his lover by saying something he feared would be stupid. His silence, however, didn't seem to bother anyone else at the table. Will's parents made absolutely no effort to include "the stranger" in table talk.

Having eaten, they were enjoying a final cup of coffee when Will said, "Thank you, Father, for a delicious meal. I also want to thank you for something else. I know I haven't always lived up to your expectations but I'm grateful for all you've done for me and provided to me as I grew up. I love you for that."

Most fathers would reply with some variant of "I love you, too, Son." But the man looked perplexed and merely took another sip of coffee. Will anticipated his father's reaction and decided to press the point. "I love both of you. I hope you never doubt my love for you."

Mrs. Benson mustered the courtesy (It was impossible to tell if it was a sincere expression of feeling.) to say, "That's most kind of you to say that, Willard." Again, however, there was no reciprocity; she didn't say

she loved her son. Will had hoped she would but reasoned that her omission was just a symptom of habitual emotionlessness.

Will carried on with his plan. "It's because I love you that I want to be completely honest. You deserve nothing less. The fact of the matter is that Billy is more than a good friend. Much more. I love him deeply

and he loves me. We've decided that we're going to live together as partners."

The shock and dismay quickly became obvious in his parent's faces. His father found his voice and asked, "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means we love each other just as a husband and wife love each other. It means we're gay. And we're committed to be loving partners for the rest of our lives."

Mr. Benson leaned across the table to confront Will as closely as possible and spat out, "No son of mine is going to be a goddamn queer. There are places that will cure you of that disgusting sickness. You're going to get therapy, young man!"

"It's NOT a sickness!" Will said assertively. "It's what I am. No prayers or therapy can change that. I'm gay. I didn't CHOOSE to be gay but I am. Just like thousands of other men. Some of them -- to escape vicious bigotry and persecution -- never reveal what they are. If I made any CHOICE in the matter it was to be honest with myself and with others ... especially the family that I love. Send me to therapy? It won't happen! I'm a grown man now and not the child that you can control with your commands. There was a time when that may have been appropriate but no longer. Not even using your network to influence the Commandant of Great Lakes and the Captain of the Brighton." (The man flinched but did not deny his meddling.) "I'm an adult! As an adult I will lead my own life that, by the way, includes gratitude and love for my arents."

"Listen here!" the man growled.

But Will interrupted and said, "I'll listen if you will. Did you hear what I said? I'm gay. Nothing can change that. And I love you."

His father said nothing but scowled. His mother said, "If you love us, how can you do this to us? Can you even imagine the shame we'll endure in the community?"

"I'm telling you BECAUSE I love you and you deserve the truth. Your `community' need never know. Unless you tell them. And I'm certain you won't because it will damage your reputation."

Mrs. Benson then said, "If you will excuse me, I need to freshen up." She walked hurriedly toward the ladies room.

Carolyn said, "I'd better go with her and talk to her."

In the restroom, Mrs. Benson was close to tears. Nothing Carolyn said seemed to ease her mother's humiliation or her fretting over being known as the mother of a queer son. Annoyed by her mother's self-centeredness, Carolyn said, "He's your son, Mom! Can't you see that he loves you? Can't you love him in return? Must you be obsessed with your own reputation? I think you should go back and tell him you disapprove but love him just the same." Completely exasperated, Carolyn walked out and returned to the dining area to find Will and Billy alone at the table. "Where's Dad?" she asked.

"He left to pay the bill. He said he would be waiting in the car."

"Is that all he said? No more condemnation for being gay? Certainly not any words of support or wishes for your happiness."

There was a very awkward silence on the drive home. Mr. Benson was uncharacteristically quiet but fuming over his son's ssertiveness and depravity. His anger gradually amplified as he thought of his son's rebellion' and moral rot. He vowed to himself to fix' both problems. Mrs. Benson was consumed by self-pity. Her treasured standing as a paragon of social virtue was jeopardized. (She failed to recognize that her involvement on the Boards of Social Service Charities was motivated by an insatiable appetite to be recognized rather than helping those in need. She was also oblivious to her compulsive drive to be respected as a leader of the high society elite rather than showing genuine friendship to others.) Will's thoughts focused primarily on regret over upsetting his parents but knew that he had to say what he did if only to be honest and to overcome the oppressive domination by his father. Yet another regret was asking his lover to endure the traumatic confrontation with his parents. He also worried about the barrage of abuse he was sure to receive when they were no longer in public. Billy's thoughts were sympathy for his lover and gratitude that his own parents had received the news far more humanely. Carolyn's distress was out of concern for Will first but also her parents. She was also examining her own life and values, which reinforced her resolve not to be a clone of her self-absorbed mother or her dogmatic and bigoted father.

Upon entering the house, Mr. Benson jabbed Will on the chest with his finger and said, "I want to see you in my den. NOW." He stormed off.

"Are you still with me?" Will asked Billy plaintively.

"We's partners. Right?"

The two lovers walked into the den only to be greeted with a snarling, "I wanted to see YOU, Willard! Not your fag buddy!"

"Billy stays," Will asserted. "He's very much a part of me. If he leaves, so do I."

"Jesus Christ, Willard! What the fuck's gotten into you? Are you maliciously trying to torment me? It's bad enough you think you're queer. Now you have the balls to disobey me!"

"First of all, Father, I don't THINK I'm gay. I KNOW it. I've known it for years. Secondly, I'm not trying to torment you. I'm just being honest with you ... because I love you. Honesty is a virtue, is it not? At least give me credit for that. Not that you've ever given me credit for anything I've done. And finally, as I tried to say earlier, I'm a grown man now and don't need an adult to tell me what to do and what not to do. I tolerated that when I was little but it's totally inappropriate and unnecessary now."

"You're SICK! A QUEER FAG! And this piece of shit you say you're in love with is the cause of it all."

"Stop right there!" Will yelled. In a calmer voice he continued, "Billy has more compassion and ethics than anyone I've ever met. And that includes the arrogant, pampered snobs I went to school with. He's not out to dictatorially manipulate other people; that's the last thing he would ever do. He didn't turn me gay. I was gay long before I met him. What he DID do was earn my love. And give me the happiness that I've craved for a very long time. I'm truly sorry if that doesn't meet your standards of RESPECTABLE behavior but I cannot ... WILL not ... tolerate your demeaning his character!"

Will's defense of Billy served only to further enrage his father who screamed, "Don't you realize that you're screwing up your life ... your future? Why can't you see that engaging in a disgusting, abnormal sexual relationship will preclude any chance of success? If you aspire to success, you'll abandon the patently depraved life of a queer. You'll choose respectable friends instead of an ignorant farm boy."

"Ignorant?" Will exclaimed. "I've already said I won't tolerate demeaning Billy's character. Either you weren't listening or you don't give a damn about my feelings or his. As for success, it depends entirely on how you define it. If success is wealth and status, if success is USING people to achieve and maintain that status, if success is measured by opulence and ostentation, then I REJECT it. If, however, success is happiness, if it is compassion, empathy, and helping others -- especially those in need -- if it's living the Golden Rule, then it's the kind of success I will diligently pursue."

The angry man had never been challenged so earnestly and he was incapable of responding except by resorting to single-minded authority. "I thought you were only sick, a queer. But it's worse than I imagined. ALL your values are screwed up. You're fucking crazy! And hopeless! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

"One more word before I leave," Will said calmly. "In spite of our differences, I love you."

"BULL SHIT!" his father exclaimed. "The only thing you love is some twisted notion that you have the right answers. You're WRONG! And you'll live to regret your misguided life style. GET OUT! NOW!"

Out on the patio with Billy, Will said, "Boy, I sure screwed this up. I'd hoped to repair a relationship but I failed."

"I disagree," Billy said. "Ya done what ya planned doin'. Ya told yur folks you loved em. You told em we's gay. And ya done it good and proper like. Ya can't help how they reacted. And one more thing. Ya knew it would be a shock. Ya knew they'd be mad as wet hens. They been actin' in anger and ya can't hold it against `em. There's still hope they'll settle down. Can't say it'll be easy or soon but it's up t' them now. Ya was honest. Now they's gotta be honest with their own selves."

<><><><><>

Life in the Benson household was filled with tension for the rest of the day. Will and Billy were completely ignored and ultimately gave up on attempts to engage the elder Bensons in conversation. The stifling tension was relieved the next day, Monday, when Will's father went to work and his mother spent the entire day shopping and lunching with her friends. Will, Billy, and Carolyn had a chance to reflect on the situation over lunch.

"Your news was probably received much as you expected," Carolyn mused.

"Yes," agreed Will. "But I held out hope that it wouldn't be so confrontational. I don't recall seeing Dad so angry. And Mom ... she was a surprise ... thinking exclusively about the damage to her reputation."

"Are you sorry you told them?" Carolyn asked.

"Yes and no. I regret upsetting them but I'm glad it's over with. I tried to soften the blow by assuring them of my love for them. How many times did I say that? And how many times was it ignored? I tried to emphasize being honest but I suppose it's a classic case of `the truth hurts.' God! It wasn't my intent to hurt them! Sure, I knew they would be disappointed and would disapprove but I didn't foresee the intensity of the pain and the anger. Knowing what I know now, would I do it again? NO!"

Carolyn looked over to Billy and said, "We haven't heard from you. What's your impression of the Benson family?"

Billy was caught off guard by the question and took a moment to consider his answer. "Well, first off, they's prob'ly nice people. But they's been caught up in what they reckon is the right way to think and live. Can't argue with their success on that. Just look at this house. And their friends. `Course if'n I can be honest, I don't cotton to that sorta life. And I wonder how many of their friends are really friends."

"What do you mean?" Carolyn asked.

"Back home in Miss'ippi, a friend was one who helped you out when you's sick or in trouble. Most ever'body was like that. If'n yur truck broke down, a neighbor would be right there to help ya fix it. If'n the crops weren't no good one year, somebody would share what little they had to fill yur stomach. That's what I mean by a real friend. I ain't seen nuff to be sure but I spect that Will's folks don't have no friends like that."

"I think you're more right than wrong on that score," Carolyn said. "Let me speculate. You've got a loving family, the kind of people you call a real friend. Do they know you're gay?

"Yup. Told em bout a year ago. They was upset but their love won the day and we's getting' long just fine now. Course the youngins don't know. Just my oldest brother. He's sixteen now. He don't understand how two men can love each other but he knows it happens sometimes. Purdy much like y'all ... not whatcha'd choose but okay with it."

"You're indeed blessed to have such a family, Billy. And Will, you're blessed to have a partner like Billy."

Just then the conversation was interrupted by Angela walking into the dining room. "Is there anything else you would like?" she asked.

"No," Will smiled. "The meal was quite delicious and filling."

Angela paused before leaving, trying to decide whether to get involved in her employer's family matters. But her affection for Will compelled her to say, "Master Will, I couldn't help overhearing parts of your conversation with your father yesterday. I just want you to know that I wish you and Billy all the happiness in the world."

She turned to leave but Will jumped up and caught her by the arm. He gave her a big hug and said, "Angela, you don't know how much your comment means to me." Then, using a term from his childhood, he added, "Thanks a gazillion."

Angela grinned, giggled, and went back to the kitchen.

Will then spoke to his sister. "Billy and I have decided to return to Ann Arbor sooner than planned. If we can change our airline reservations, could you take us to the airport?"

"Of course. But only if you promise to stay in touch with me. I'm disappointed that we can't spend more time together but under the circumstances, it's probably best that you go home. I'll keep you posted on Mom and Dad because it's not likely they will. One can hope but one has to deal with realities."

"Thanks, Sis. I love you."

<><><><><>

Saddened and frustrated by the bitterness and hostility he had created during his visit to his parents, Will returned with Billy to Ann Arbor. He knew it was not likely that his parents would receive the news of his being gay with understanding but he hadn't expected the ferocity of his father's anger nor his mother's obsession with losing the respect of her friends and her unambiguous self-pity. He didn't even receive a warm greeting when he arrived. Granted, it was a surprise but at no time during the visit was he made to feel welcome. His repeated expressions of love were never reciprocated, much less acknowledged. He was left with only one conclusion: the trip was a colossal mistake.

Waiting for the return flight, they found a secluded area in the airport terminal where they could talk privately. "I'm sorry, Billy ... sorry for subjecting you to the firestorm at my parents' house. I expected it to get ugly but it was much worse. I'm sorry."

"No need t' be sorry," Billy said. "Ya done told me what it'd be like. I went along cause ya might need support. Sides, like ya said, it was important that they meet me."

"I thought so at the time. But I really didn't anticipate they would insult you so cruelly."

"It don't bother me none. Never has. When I was a little kid my daddy told me the one bout sticks and stones.' He said that mean people say bad things but I can ignore `em. Oops. I didn't mean to say yur folks are mean. Took a while for me to believe it but I do now. So what they said didn't hurt me none."

"Oh, but they were mean!" Will exclaimed. "I guess I got used to it growing up when my father would constantly criticize me. So it doesn't bother me as much now. But what they said about you hurt me deeply. By any measure the trip was a total disaster."

"Listen up to what I got t' say, Will Benson, cause ya need to stop bein' so hard on yurself. First off, ya had to tell em bout us some time or nother. And it was right to tell em in person. Second, ya told em ya loved em. They needed t' hear that. So what if they didn't say they loved ya back. That woulda been nice but ya knew it weren't likely. Thirdly, ya didn't make no mistakes. Ya was calm and broke the news easy like. Ya stood up to yur daddy just like ya always wanted t' do. That took courage! And I was proud o' ya for doin' it. Finally -- are ya listenin'? -- the problem is not yurs. It's their's. They's successful in their own way but they got mixed up ideas about what's honest ...and what's really important. Can't say if'n they's happy but I got no doubt a'tall that I am cause we's partners."

Billy's efforts to console his lover were appreciated but did little to lift Will out of his depression. It was two days before the bitter taste of the visit home began to fade and another two days before he was fully back to his normal self. Billy was patient, knowing that it would take his lover time to heal from his emotional wounds. By that time, both had returned to their jobs and their life resumed.

Very late one night two weeks later, they were comfortably relaxing in bed cuddling after an especially satisfying interlude of loving sex. They were surprised to hear the doorbell and looked at each other quizzically. "Who could that be at this time of night?" Will asked.

"Only one way t' find out," Billy replied as he got out of bed. He put on a robe and walked toward the front door of the apartment to the accompaniment of repeated door chimes. Upon opening the door, he saw a frail and obviously distraught young man -- about sixteen, he guessed. He wore tattered jeans and a torn sweat shirt with dried blood stains. The long hair on one side of his head was matted with dried blood.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the lad said. "I thought Mr. Benson lived here."

"He does that," Billy replied. "And who are you?"

Before the boy could answer, Will, now properly dressed in a robe, came up behind Billy and exclaimed, "Justin! What are you doing here? It's almost midnight."

Without answering, the young man pushed past Billy, wrapped his arms around Will, buried his head in Will's shoulder, and began to cry. Billy was only momentarily confused until he concluded, accurately, that the troubled boy was one of Will's clients from the Social Services Agency. Will silently comforted the unexpected visitor until the tears subsided and then said, "Come in, Justin and tell me what the problem is."

They sat in the living room -- Billy in an arm chair and Will and Justin on the sofa. The distressed boy was clinging to Will and fighting to stem the flow of tears.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Benson. I know the Agency discourages visiting my case worker but I didn't know where else to go."

"It's all right," Will said softly. "If you're in trouble, I'm glad you came here. Now tell me what's going on."

"Dad came home drunk. He asked me where Mom was. I said she wasn't home. He yelled, The whore bitch is out fucking some scum bag, is she? I'll teach her a lesson.' He went to her bedroom. You knew they have separate rooms since he kicked me out of my room and made me sleep on the couch. He started to trash everything. I tried to stop him but he screamed at me to stay the fuck out of his way. I guess I didn't move fast enough because he came at me with fire in his eyes. I've seen him drunk lots of time but never this bad. He swung a table lamp at me. I ducked but it broke across the side of my head. I'm no match for him even when he's drunk so I ran out of the house. I waited outside, figuring that he'd pass out and it would be safe to go back in. Just when the commotion inside quieted down, a pickup truck pulled into the driveway. I didn't know the driver but I saw Mom next to him. I saw her kiss the driver and say, It was fun. See you again, stud.' When she got out and saw me, she starting yelling at me for spying on her. I tried to tell her what Dad was doing but she wasn't listening. She just kept yelling at me and calling me names. I don't think you want to hear that part ... it was pretty vulgar. I didn't know what to do. Both of my parents were pissed at me. I left and walked the streets for an hour or so. Then I remembered you saying I could call you any time. So here I am. What can I do, Mr. Benson?"

"First of all, let me see where he hit you. I can tell it was bleeding and we'd better take care of it."

Having cleaned the superficial cut and applied antiseptic, Will led Justin back to the living room. Billy had gone to bed. After extended disclosure of abuse by Justin's parents -- previously unknown to Will -- they discussed the next steps. Will promised to get more involved in the young man's situation but couldn't say what the Agency might be able to do to help until he checked with his supervisor.

"If you're not comfortable going home," Will said, "you're welcome to stay overnight here. But quite honestly, I'm worried about your safety if you go home."

"No," the young man said. "I've bothered you enough already."

"No bother, Justin. I'm happy to help. Of course you'll have to sleep on the couch because I've only got one bedroom."

"If you really don't mind. And the couch is fine. That's where I sleep at home." Justin paused before asking, "You've got only one bedroom? Does that mean you share it with the other guy that was here?"

"Yes. The other guy is my partner, Billy Simpson. I apologize for not introducing you but I was more concerned about your difficulties. And your next question is whether we're gay. The answer is yes. We don't hide it but we don't broadcast it either. Does that bother you?"

"No. Surprised? Sort of. I just never thought about it. I mean you were just another case worker from the Agency. I know a couple of gay kids at school and they're smart and friendly. So I'm cool with it."

<><><><><>

After much bureaucratic manipulations, Justin was placed in a foster home with an `empty nest' couple. Will maintained contact with him and was amazed at the difference a loving home made. No longer a frail, shy boy, Justin became a healthy, confident, and happy young man.

Billy never tired of hearing about the dramatic change in Justin. But was he surprised when, after a glowing report on the young man's progress, Will said, "Success is what you want it to be."

"Whatcha mean?" Billy asked.

"For example, your family is eminently successful because they've achieved their goal of a happy, loving family. I admire them for their success. My parents are successful because their priorities are affluence and social standing and they've certainly achieved that. My most important success is finding and being able to love you. But there's another measure of success. I'm proud of what I've been able to do for Justin. That's my idea of success -- not just him but others like him ... helping them overcome problems not of their making."

THE END

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

My good friend, Iatia, added immeasurable value to this story with his support and encouragement, his creative ideas and suggestions, and his meticulous editing.

AUTHOR'S CHALLENGE

What you have read is prelude. Life goes on. There is obviously more that could be told. However, I leave it to you -- if you so choose -- to imagine the continuation of the story based on the events thus far described and in a way most compatible with your hopes and

fears.

<> Will and Billy: Will they continue to cultivate and cherish their love? Or will the cultural and educational gap between them create frictions that threaten their union?

<> Will's parents: Will they stubbornly adhere to their concept of what's right and as a result irretrievably lose their son? Or will they mellow with age and arrive at reconciliation?

<> Billy's parents: Will they continue to maintain the loving bonds in their family ... even with their `wayward' son, Billy? Or will something unexpected bring about a cleavage between them and one or more of their children?

<> Sean, the pessimist and homophobe; Rod, the generous host and advisor; and other minor characters: What does their future hold?

<> And finally: - What is YOUR definition of success? - How does one balance caution and courage? - What is the danger of judging people by their dialect (or skin color or sexual orientation) instead of their fundamental character?