Here's a new chapter - hopefully the next one will be out next week. :-) Enjoy, and I'd like to say a special thank you to the couple of people who keep "pestering" me for new chapters - I really appreciate hearing from you!!! -- May
Please don't read if you have a problem with gay sex. The usual disclaimer applies.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Kevin kept his head down as he walked in large strides through the hospital corridor, but it was no use; he got stopped by the elevators. "Oh my God!" A small woman started shrieking and shaking her hands in front of her face, grand mal seizure style, setting off a string of minor mishaps as people turned to see what all the commotion was about. "I'm not who you think," Kevin snapped irritably, and he smacked CLOSE DOOR with the back of his hand before she could get into the car with him. He focused on the old-fashioned protractor-style floor number indicator and tried to hide himself in the back corner. The element of surprise worked in his favour; nobody else gave the superstar a second look. He hoped that Nick really was just in the hospital because he was dehydrated, but Kevin figured the chances of this being the truth were slim, and he regretted wishing that he didn't have to deal with Nick's problems in order to be with Nick. Kevin didn't feel all that capable of dealing with his own problems, and he hoped to patch things up quickly with Nick and convince him to come back to Florida and make nice with Howie. After all, if he was responsible for putting the group back together, Kevin might start to feel like he was back in control of his own life. Wouldn't he?
Nick looked tired and sick, and he didn't say much as they made their way out a service exit into the parking garage. "I got a place on the beach," Kevin said as they got into his rental car. "It's very secluded." Nick didn't respond, just shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "You wanted me to come out here, didn't you?" Kevin asked, turning to face him and letting the seatbelt slide out of his hand and zip back into its casing. "Yeah," Nick responded dully, fidgeting. Kevin sighed, feeling his eyes brim with tears. He hated that he couldn't control his emotions. He reached over to Nick and began to stroke the blonde's silky hair back. "I'm sorry, Nick." "About what?" Nick mumbled, keeping his eyes lowered. All of Kevin's plans about how he was going to act and how he was going to feel seemed to slip away and out of his control. "About how I acted in Florida." "What do you mean?" Nick raised his head and they stared at each other. Kevin searched his lover's face for some sign of understanding, but if Nick was in there somewhere, he couldn't find him. "I mean, we were starting to really break through to each other in Spain, and then when we came back to the U.S. and we had to deal with all the legal stuff with Howie, I just froze up, and I couldn't do it..." Kevin saw an expression on Nick's face which looked like a sneer. "Nick... That note you wrote me in Florida was pretty harsh, when you told me to leave." "I meant what I said," Nick said quietly. "That you want me to go away?" "No, I didn't say that. I said, I don't need you for your dick." "So you think that's all our relationship is about?" Nick just shrugged. "And so now you want me here for sex? Is that it? Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you!" Kevin grabbed Nick's arm to turn him around, but the flash of rage shifted immediately into regret when he saw the pained look on Nick's face. "Oh God, Nicky, I'm sorry." Kevin leaned forward and wrapped his arms around him. Nick was shaking. "Look, I know our relationship started off all wrong," Kevin said, stroking Nick's back, "but maybe we can start over again." "If you hadn't called me," Nick mumbled tearfully into Kevin's chest, "I don't know what I woulda done..."
Misha was in the middle of chopping up vegetables when the phone rang. "I got it!" he heard Brian's sing-song voice intone from another room, and Misha smiled to himself, wiping his hands on the dishtowel he was holding. It was cute how Brian assumed that he would feel completely comfortable answering the phone as though he lived there. I'm just visiting, Misha told himself, digging around in the cabinets for some more small bowls to organise his stir fry raw materials. It was one thing to pretend to be living together, and another entirely to have to deal with the obligations of actually doing so. They'd spent the whole day playing house. First Brian had cooked a nice breakfast. They'd done some gardening and then took a dip in the pool. Then they went shopping, since Brian wanted to get blinds for the window in the kitchen, and Scratch thought he needed a dog house. Somehow they'd spent a good two hours wandering up and down a home depot looking at siding and planters and sprinkler systems and god knows what else. Ah, domesticity, Misha said to himself, placing a dollop of oil in the bottom of Brian's virgin wok. If my parents could see me now. He let out a little sigh and put it out of his mind. Not everybody can have a family in their lives. So what if it makes me feel like I've hatched out of a pod...
"So you're going to stay in France for a while?" Brian said, a little surprised to hear that Leighanne had made such a close friend while on set. "Yes, I'm going to stay here with Marie- Claude for the time being and do that TV gig." "Marie-Claude, did I meet her?" "Yes... She was teasing you for your Kentucky French." Brian's cheeks burned a bit remembering what an ass he felt like in Nice. "That's right, the girl with the red hair. Is she from Lyon?" "No, no, don't you remember? She's from Quebec. She was making fun of you so much because she gets such a hard time for her accent." Leighanne chuckled. "Can I ask you something, Leelee?" "Of course you can. But make it snappy. This is a long distance call, remember?" Brian laughed softly and then took a little breath before he spoke, toying with the phone cord nervously. "You and Marie-Claude... you're not just friends, are ya?" "I don't know yet, Brian, to be honest with you. It's hard to tell sometimes with women." "Leigh, you know I really don't want to ask you this, but-" Leighanne let out a little laugh. "Yes B, we're sleeping together. But I don't think she considers herself to be gay." Brian sighed. "I know you're a smart woman, Leigh. I just want you to be happy. Don't sell yourself short." "I won't. You don't have to worry about me. But thanks." "Any time. My God, after all those times I went crying to you over Nick!" Leighanne laughed and Brian knew somehow that she was flipping her long blonde hair over and around her back. "Well, I hope things quiet down for you and Misha and you won't need any other fiancees to haul around." "I hope so too..." Brian sighed. "I don't think he's going to put up with any more of that craziness. Right now nothing's going on since we're not even technically a group, and we have no management..." "Hold on to him, Brian. He's good for you. God knows you need somebody like that in your life." "I know, Leigh... I know."
"Your mother is such a hoot," Dani chirped at A.J., who smiled at her, his eyes twinkling over the purple sunglasses he wore. The two of them sat out on lawn chairs, accompanied somewhat uncomfortably by Howie, Maria, and Maria's sister Veronica. "Ain't she, though?" "Your mama is a sweetie," Veronica said in her syrupy way, shifting her long, suntanned limbs around temptingly. She said something to Maria in Spanish which made her laugh out loud, and Dani shrugged at A.J. "I told you," he said, "I can order food and cuss somebody out, but that's about it." Dani felt like changing the subject, since the Luz sisters were doing their utmost to ignore her, and so she inched her chair closer to A.J.'s and turned to face him. "Alex, do you think Kevin's going to bring him back?" she asked quietly. "Nicky... Hmm, that's a good question." A.J. glanced over at Howie, who looked faintly irritated. "I don't know, Dani," A.J. said, trying to play his mental constructs of the two of them off one another. One was young, sullen, and incommunicative. The other was older, angry, maybe a little guilty... "I don't think they're good for each other, to be honest with you. I don't see it helping us as a group, as a family." "Families don't sleep together," Howie said pointedly. Dani turned a little to include him, hoping that he wasn't pissed off at her. "I'm not sure if you can define yourselves as a normal family," she said lightly. "As for Nick and Kevin, I think they might be better off together than apart." Howie was about to reply when Denise reappeared, carting a serving tray full of glasses of lemonade. "You were supposed to come and help me," Denise chided her son gently, "'I have everything under control' is your cue!" "Sorry ma," A.J. grinned. "Do you still love me?" "I suppose I must..."
Nick woke up with a start, tangled up in the bedsheets in a dark room he didn't recognise. "Shit," he said aloud, holding his head in his hands while his breathing slowed gradually. The smell in the air which pervaded his dream was slipping quickly away into some subterranean realm of his consciousness, sealed off from the present. Nick tried to grasp at the images of his dream but they evaporated, melding into and then replaced by the images of his last night in Florida. He was just remembering where he was when Kevin appeared, cradling some small creature in his arms. "Feeling better?" Kevin asked. "Look who I found." He sat on the edge of the bed and let a tiny kitten out of his hands. Nick's face softened immediately and he broke into a toothy smile. "Where did you get her, she's beautiful," Nick said softly, inching his fingers over to the curious animal. "Side of the road, in a box," Kevin said, watching them interact. "Just look at her. I couldn't just leave her there." Nick laughed as the kitten rolled onto its back, swatting at his fingers. "Are you sure it's a her?" "Well, I didn't check," Kevin frowned. "Let's call her Frankie." Kevin laughed. "Umm, whatever you say, Nick." The phone rang and Nick visibly stiffened. "You expecting a call?" "Yeah, from the hospital... some test results."
Kevin left the room to give Nick some privacy, carting Frankie off to put her flea collar on and acquaint her with the litter box. Kevin had found the kitten and immediately gone on a prolongued expedition to secure all the necessary shots, supplies, food and accessories one needed for a well-cared-for cat. This little side project provided an excuse to take a mental break from his on-going moral probe. Kevin felt obligated to bring Nick back to the Backstreet Boys, as though somehow that would atone for his sin of getting involved with him sexually. But Kevin knew that he was not going to get out of this relationship, as uncertain and flimsy as it was, with any kind of ease. Moreover, he didn't want out of it. Once Frankie was situated, Kevin walked back and knocked on the bedroom door. "Nick, are you okay?" "All clear," he heard, "come in." "All clear as in all clear?" Kevin asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. Nick was bundled up in a ball, with the comforter pulled up to his chin like a little boy. "What do you think I mean?" Nick asked irritably. "Well, you could mean, all clear, I'm not going to die, or you could mean, all clear, I've got my pants on." Nick raised an eyebrow at Kevin's attempt at humour, but he slid down a little in the bed. "I could take my pants off if you want," he said, sticking his tongue out. "There's the Nick we all know and love," Kevin said dryly, grabbing the blonde's knee and squeezing it, then stroking his hand along Nick's thigh. He watched Nick's facial expression turn sad and he crawled up beside him.
"AIDS test, I'm guessing," Kevin said softly, letting Nick snuggle into his body. "Yeah," Nick sighed, "but I'm fine." "It's never fun waiting for the results," Kevin said, "even if you know you haven't done anything. It always makes you think." Nick nodded, and then tasted a salty tear which had slid down his cheek and into his parted lips. Before he could move away, another big drop fell onto Kevin's chest, and then those crystalline green eyes were staring into his. "Did you get real messed up again?" Kevin asked. "Is that why you went to the hospital?" "No... I mean, yeah, but not like last time." Nick's attempts to burrow into Kevin were halted when he felt a sudden tickling sensation on his legs. He was about to kick them when he remembered Frankie. "I see somebody wants to join us," Kevin said, and Nick gazed at him, seeing the warmth and humour which lit up his lover's face. Was that the way Kevin used to be, or was that who he really was inside that cold, heartless exterior? The kitten clambered awkwardly up to Nick and Kevin's faces before settling into a content little ball between them. "She's gonna piss in the bed," Nick said with a mischevious grin. "So, we'll get another bed," Kevin said. "I guess you can't punish a tiny little kitty cat when she fucks up." "It's not really my place to do that, now is it, Nick?" "I guess not." Nick reached over and kissed Kevin softly on the lips. "Thanks." Kevin nodded, not exactly sure what Nick was thanking him for. "Thanks for understanding," Nick elaborated. "And for rescuing us." He smirked at Kevin and laid a tender kiss on top of the kitten's head.