What's up guys! Here's chapter 5!!!! I really hope you enjoy it! Make sure to look at the end note, for important info!
I do not intend to infringe on copyright laws. Any popular titles or names used in my story are just for a look into personal life. I really relate to Lucas, soooo much! So we're almost the exact same.
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If gay love offends you, leave. This isn't for you.
My story will get dark at some point. This isn't the chapter for it. But I will warn at the beginning of the chapter that there could be a trigger. I don't want any of you to relive any painful memories. Mental illness sucks. I know. I feel your pain. So, I will warn before that chapter begins!!!
Let's get on to the story, shall we?
Chapter 5
I would kill to be with Chase right now. He is soooooo hot! Don't get me wrong. I love his body, it's perfect in every way. The blond hair, blue eyes, perfectly sculpted body is perfect. But I really love his personality. He is so caring. So gentle. So sweet. He isn't the stereotypical asshole jock. He actually cares.
It's too bad that I'm his best friend. And I'm not a girl. So, no can do. Speaking of, here he comes.
"Hey bud! You ready to hang out?"
It's Friday and we've been planning on going and seeing the new Star Wars movie. We're both extremely excited, since we've watched them all together. I don't even think sex was going to stop him from seeing this.
"Yes!!! I'm so ready for this movie! Wanna get going?"
We head on toward my house. Since we live in a small town, we don't have a lot. But we do have a really old theatre. It only shows one movie at a time, and if they're really popular, like say this Star Wars film, then they keep playing the film for around a month before moving on to something else.
The only time I've thought of Chase in ways that I'm not supposed to was today. So far, I've been able to fight the urge to give him my every thought. I've been strong. Stronger than I've been in a long time. I'm really proud of myself.
We get home, and greet mom as we head to my room.
"Let's play some Smash Bros. while we wait."
I kick his ass!!! Hahaha
Chase may have me beat in the looks and personality department. But I can murder him at video games. I feel a little bad about it. And consider for a bit letting him win a couple matches.
Only for a minute.
Since mom works at the cafeteria, she's been home for a few hours. She comes to the door and asks what our plans are. Chase gives her the run down.
"We were planning on going and watching the new Star Wars movie? Is that OK?"
"Sure boys. You guys are gonna need a ride. When do you guys plan on leaving?"
"Around 5. But if you're driving, we can wait till around 5:30."
"OK. Supper is pizza. It's in the kitchen for you both. Eat up!"
She heads on towards the living room. Chase and I follow her and grab some pizza and join her in the living room. Chase and her talk for a while during the meal.
After we've eaten, it's time for us to go to town. Once we arrive at the theatre, Chase buys the tickets while I buy the popcorn and drinks.
In my mind, it's like a bit of a date.
-------------Couple hours later--------------
The movie was freaking awesome.
As we're heading out of the theatre, we talk about what we loved in the movie, about how it was a perfect transition to Episode IV. Mom is outside, waiting for us. We get in the car and begin our drive back home.
"How was the movie boys?"
"It was awesome mom! Thank you for taking us!"
Once home, we help mom carry in her shopping items. After, we head upstairs and begin to play more video games. This lasts for a few more hours. Mom bid us good night an hour ago. We start getting ready for bed.
We're talking aimlessly, joking around with each other, as we get into night clothes. We hop into the bed.
"Hey Luke? You seem better. Like, not as troubled as usual. I'm glad you're feeling better."
I've felt better. Not thinking constantly of him has really helped.
"I feel better. My problem hasn't really been a problem lately. I've been able to move on from it a bit."
"That's good bud. Maybe you can tell me?"
My heart beats a bit quicker at that.
"I'm still not ready... Even though it's not a problem, I still can't tell you."
"It was worth a shot. I'm still going to wait. And I'll still be there for you after you tell me. Nothing could ever tear us apart."
"Thanks Chase."
I don't think he heard that bit. I heard a light snore come from him.
As he fell asleep, my mind betrayed me. After weeks of not being burdened by my weakness, my mind began thinking about him. Thinking about how wonderful he is. How wonderful he treats me. And about how much I want him, but can never have him.
I begin to silently cry. He won't wake up if I'm quiet.
I need him. Not sexually. But... To hold me. To look at me the way that he looks at girls. To hold my hand. To tell me he loves me. Not as a friend. But has his lover. As my lover. I yearn to do the same to him. To tell him my love for him.
I realize something.
I can tell him now. He's asleep. He won't hear anything.
"Chase... My problem is you. You're all that I think about. You are my every thought. My every want. You are my every need. I want to love you, the way that you deserve to be loved. I want to treat you as my one and only. I want to hold your hand. To take you on dates. To show you how much I love you. I want to be able to tell you how much you mean to me. To show the world how much you mean to me. To tell you how much that I would do for you. To give you whatever you could ever want. But... I can't. I can't. You're straight. You love girls. You will never have the same feelings for me. Because... I'm gay. I'm gay. And you're straight. And that's just how the world works."
The pain is still there. I still feel the heartache. I still feel burdened.
Soon after, I fall asleep.
-----------------The next day, Chase's point of view-----------------
I had the strangest dream.
I glance at the clock, and see that it's around 8:49AM.
I lay there, letting Luke get a few extra minutes of sleep.
But that is put out of my head by something else.
The body laying next to me feels... Right? It feels perfect. It feels like he was made for me. Weird.
Luke's head is on my chest. His soft brown hair is shimmering slightly from the morning light. His chocolate brown eyes are covered. But they're always really warm, unless he's been crying or upset. Then his eyes become hard as rocks. His arm is draped over my stomach, and his hand is lying on my abs. He's... Beautiful.
I've always thought he was beautiful. It doesn't feel weird to think that. Luke is a good looking guy. A little small. But he seems perfect.
By now, it's 9:10AM. I slowly extricate myself from under Lucas, and head to the bathroom. After I relieve myself, I head downstairs and grab some cereal. Luke's mom has left a note on the fridge, saying that she had to run some errands.
As I'm eating my cereal, I think about my dream. I don't know who it was. What gender they are. But... They confessed their love to me. It was really weird. But also touching. I could feel the truth in their words. I know it was just a dream. But it felt real. I hope that this person really does exist. I like getting laid. But settling down for `the one' would be nice. It would be good, I think. To give my love to one person. The person from my dream... I know that they would be perfect for me. They seemed to really love me.
Oh well. I guess I'll just have to keep on keeping on.
After I finish my breakfast off, I head to the living room and watch some tv while Luke sleeps.
--------Lucas' point of view--------------
As soon as he leaves the bed, I can tell. It's that way every time he stays. I can always feel him leave.
I don't get up though. I just stay in my bed for a while, thinking about last night.
The pain is still there. But... I feel better. I feel like some of my burden has been lifted.
Around 9:47, I head to the bathroom and relieve myself. Afterwards, I head downstairs and grab some cereal and join Chase. He's watching some old cartoons.
We chat a bit for a while.
"Hey Luke. I had the strangest dream."
"What was it?"
"Well, this person. They... Confessed their love to me."
My heart feels like it stops. I make sure my voice isn't going to sound like I'm freaking out before I ask:
"Do you... Know who they were?"
"See. That's the thing. Normally, I can remember anything in my dreams. This time though, I can't remember anything about this person. I don't know who they were."
I breath. I hadn't noticed that I wasn't breathing until he said that.
"That's... Weird Chase. What do you think of the dream? Did you like what you heard?"
"Yeah. This person seemed like they were the right one for me. They seemed. Sincere. But they said that they couldn't tell me. I don't know why. My dream cut off right as they were going to tell me why. It was weird. But... I hope that they find me. I hope that I can meet them someday. They seemed like they were the perfect match for me."
It's a bittersweet feeling that Chase didn't get the entire confession.. Sweet, because he doesn't know. Bitter... Because he doesn't know. It's a bit maddening. Why give him only part of the confession? Why couldn't he hear the entire thing. And then I would have my answer. My answer of Chase leaving me, or staying with me. Not as a boyfriend or anything. I know that he'll never be mine. But him knowing, he could help my move on. I could finally stop hiding from him.
"I hope you find them too Chase. I hope you find the one. I hope you find the one that you are their every thought. I hope that they love you, the way that you deserve to be loved. I hope that they treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. I hope they take you on dates as much as you take them on dates. I hope they show you off to the world how much they mean to you."
He gives me a puzzled look. Oh shit.
"That's weird. You just quoted a lot of what they said."
We stare at each other for a bit. I'm dying inside. I hope I haven't just screwed everything up.
He chuckles. "Weird world huh? Maybe they will come along one day."
"Y-y-yeah. Weird world." I laugh awkwardly.
We head to my room and he asks if he can play video games. I tell him to have fun, and begin working on school work. I'm weird. I hate procrastinating on homework. After I'm done, I go to the piano and begin practicing orchestra pieces. The pieces are coming along great.
-------------A few hours later--------------
After I'm done, I head back to my room and see that Chase is taking a nap. It's around 1PM. Mom came home while I was practicing. But she knows that I need to practice, so she didn't really bother me.
I've been terrified of slipping up since my talk with Chase. I begin forming a plan in my mind to get over these feelings as I fall asleep.
---------Chase's point of view----------
I woke up around 1:30 and notice that Luke is snuggled up against me.
It was so weird. He said almost everything that the person in my dream had. He said them like he meant them. It was touching. But Luke is my brother. Besides, he's said that he likes girls.
But that thought brings to mind how many times he's had a girlfriend. I can think of... None? Anyone would be lucky to have the guy. He's sweet. He's not bad looking. He's really kind. He doesn't really hang out with anyone other than me though. So... Maybe he just hasn't gotten around to a girl yet?
Oh well. I slowly remove myself from Luke and begin playing video games. I'm in the middle of killing some monsters when Luke groans a bit. He asks what time it is. I tell him it's around 3. He goes to the bathroom.
After he gets back, I ask him if he wants to play more video games together. So we end up playing Smash Bros. again. He murders me.
I really don't mind though. I love seeing the joy that it gives him. I really need to learn how to block and dodge.
Around 6, we're called to the kitchen for dinner.
--------------A few hours later--------------
It's around 11. Luke and I are getting ready for bed and decide to watch some Netflix while we relax. He picks out some random anime. It's pretty good. He seems to like it.
Eventually he falls asleep. I lay there for a while longer. He shifts a bit and ends up the way he was this morning. I smile to myself at this. He's a good kid. I need to find someone for him. I've thought about things. If Luke was gay, I could care less. He's my bud. He's my brother. He deserves love as much as I. So, I am making it my mission to find him someone.
Thanks for reading!!!
A special thanks to those that emailed me!!! I really appreciate the emails and comments you all have!
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, send me an email!
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