Disclaimer: This story contains love between two teenage males. If it is illegal to read this in your community, or if you are below the legal age, leave now. No responsibility is accepted by the author for any effects of this story , directly or indirectly. By continuing to read this, you accept that you are accessing this of your own free will, and indemnify the author against all cases.
College Mates by theHaydster Copyright 2006, theHaydster. All rights reserved
Please email me at thehaydster@yahoo.com.au. I have had severe writers block with this story, give me ideas please.
Note: This story will NOT include sex in the near future, and will not include graphic sex at any time. This story is a love story.
Chapter 3 -- The truth
Well, now that I'm in love, what am I to do about it. At least I know that Tim won't out me to anyone, if I tell him. That's the main question. Do I tell him or not? I'm afraid of losing him as a friend. I eventually decided to see if it might go away if I ignore my feelings for him. I finally drifted off to an unpeaceful sleep.
The next morning I wasn't refreshed as I normally am, and Tim got me up to go to my lectures, otherwise I would have overslept. I went through the lectures in a bit of a daze, but Tim let me borrow his notes later on. I love him, but he's not interested, I can tell that.
After a few days, it wasn't working at all. I decided to distance myself from Tim for a while, seeing if that would help. I started by not sitting next to him in lectures. He didn't say anything to me about this. The next day I decided to walk a different way to lectures, and I told him that. He assumed that we'd be going together, but I told him I needed time by myself.
"Dan, what's going on? You seem to be avoiding me."
"Tim, I'm not avoiding you" I lied "I just need a bit more time to myself."
"Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong"
I think I convinced him of that.
This didn't seem to be working, but I ended up seeing little of him. I kept on loving him, but this was the only way I could think of that might work. It was the only way that might allow us to be friends, although we couldn't be friends for a while. I didn't realize the toll it was having on us both until a fortnight after it had started.
I was in my room, trying to relax when there was a knock on the door. Tim came in, looking more distressed and sad then I'd ever seen him. "Dan, we need to talk", he said, shutting the door behind him. It tore my heart, but I knew that I had to keep my distance, so I replied "Not now, I need to be alone for a bit". Upon saying this he started crying.
Seeing him cry split my heart in half. I couldn't bear to see him cry, so I sat him down on my bed, and sat next to him.
"Tim, what's wrong?" I said in a gentle voice
"What did I do?" he choked out between sobs.
"What do you mean?"
"Why won't you be my friend anymore?"
"Tim, I am still your friend, I just need time alone."
"You keep on saying that Dan, but you just spend more and more time away from me."
"You haven't done anything wrong."
"Don't lie to me, there's no other reason why you'd stop being my friend"
This was killing me inside, and I didn't know what to do.
"Tim, I'm doing this so we still can be friends"
He stopped in mid-sob.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he said, bewildered.
"I can't tell you"
"Yes you can Dan. You can tell me"
"If I do you'll hate me" I was about to start crying myself.
"Dan, whatever you're not telling me is destroying our friendship. Tell me, please"
"Ok, Tim, I love you! Happy now? Go now, go and hate me!"
"Dan, I"
"Get out!" I yelled, not wanting him to tell me how he couldn't be friends at all anymore.
I never thought that I would stop crying as I saw the best friendship of my life disintegrating before my eyes. I loved him with all my heart, and even though I knew that he couldn't love me. I couldn't keep it hidden, and it destroyed our friendship.
About 5 minutes later Dan walked into my room. "Get out" I said in a dull voice.
"No"
"Get out of my room" I was starting to get angry.
"Not till you hear me out."
"I don't want to hear you out! It's hurting me enough, now go!"
"I'm not leaving until you listen to me!"
I tried to push him out of my room. With that he knocked me backwards onto my bed. He kicked the door shut and launched himself at me. He had me pinned down, and he put his hand over my mouth.
"Dan, stop being an idiot and listen to me. I'll let you up if you promise to listen to me."
What choice did I have? I nodded my head and he let me sit up. He sat beside me on the bed.
"Dan, I don't hate you"
"W-what?"
"I don't hate you. You're still my friend, if you want to be."
"I don't get it. I love you, and you don't care that a gay guy is in love with you."
"I do care. I care for you as a person. I can't feel the same way, but I want to be your friend again. Not being friends nearly killed me."
I hugged him, smiling for the first time in weeks
Tim & I spoke about this for a while, and repaired our friendship that I had broken. He told me that he wasn't gay, but that it made no difference to him if I was.
"Tim, I'm sorry for everything, and I'm really sorry for loving you."
"Dan, don't worry, I know that you were trying not to hurt me, and love is one of those things you can't control."
When he forgave me for those, I had a huge burden lifted off my heart. Although it still hurt to love him, it hurt much less, now that we were friends again.
On the next day, we walked to lectures together again.
Please email me with comments and ideas. Flames will be ignored.
thehaydster@yahoo.com.au