ATTENTION:
Everone, I have written chapters 6 and 7, and they will be posted soon. PLEASE write to me at thehaydster@yahoo.com.au
DISCLAIMER:
This story contains stories of homosexual love between young men. If this content is illegal, or you are not of legal age to read it, do not continue. If this material is offensive to you, do not continue.
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(C) TheHaydster, 2006. This material may be displayed by nifty.org, and may be downloaded for personal reading. All other rights are reserved.
Chapter 5 -- "I can't love you"
I wanted Tim to love me so badly it hurt. My love for him was not waning, but at least we were friends, which is more than I had expected after I told him about it. Over the next week or two he had more dates with Kate, but they kept everything to a minimum while they were with me. I didn't think I could cope with it, if they hadn't done it.
One evening I heard raised voices from Tim's room though, and I assumed they were having their first lover's quarrel. Eventually Tim yelled "It's not true. It can't be" and burst out of his room and away down the corridor. I heard the door open and would have run after him, but Kate planted herself firmly in my doorway, not letting me out.
"Get out of my way bitch, you can't hurt him like this."
"Dan, don't run after him, you'll hurt him."
"You're the one hurting him. Get out of my way." I shouted, trying to push past her. She took advantage of me being off balance and pushed me back, and I landed on the floor of my room, hard.
"Dan, I'm not intentionally hurting him. Hear me out, please, so you don't hurt him when you go after him, if you must."
"Ok, if you promise not to stop me after that, and if you're quick." I reasoned that she was able to stop me, as she's stronger than me.
"Dan, I told him the truth."
"What truth?"
"The truth about you and him."
"Don't lie; you know he knows I love him."
"Stop being an idiot, you know what I mean."
"No, I don't" I told her, now confused.
She laughed, totally cracked up.
"How can you laugh like this, when you've hurt him like this, you bitch!" I shouted at her, my anger returning tenfold. I started getting up to go after him, but she pulled me back down.
"Let me go" I said, deathly calm.
"No."
"I don't fight women, as a rule, but I'll make an exception if you don't let me go."
"Dan, he loves you, that's what I told him."
"You can't have, he wouldn't get all angry about it."
"He did, because he loves you, and won't admit it."
"No he doesn't. I know that."
"That's why I laughed; you hadn't noticed his feelings for you. Then again, I'm fairly perceptive about these things. Now let's find him"
"I still don't believe you about him feeling that way."
"Believe what you like, but it's the truth."
We eventually found him, out the back of the college, amongst some shrubs. He had been crying. She approached him slowly.
"Tim, you can't live a lie, and I won't let you."
"I'm not living a lie, I love you, and I will be with you." He told her.
"No, you won't."
"I'm not breaking up with you."
"I know, that's why I'm breaking up with you."
He burst into tears at this, and I wanted to throttle her for it.
"I'm sorry Tim, but I can't and won't let you deny your true feelings, it will hurt us more in the end if you do." With that she walked back to me.
"I didn't expect him to be in denial this badly", she whispered in my ear, "Keep an eye on him, as I'm afraid that he might harm himself."
Tim had his back turned to us, and didn't know that I was there until I sat down next to him.
"Tim, don't worry. She'll come to her senses, and realize that you love her, not me."
He cried even more at this.
"I'm sure that she will work it out."
It didn't help, and he was showing no signs of letting up on his misery. Eventually, he stopped crying. I touched him on the arm, and he drew away.
"Go away."
"I'm not going away. I promised Kate that I'd keep an eye on you. Anyway, I love you."
I knew I had said the wrong thing then, as tears started flowing again.
"Sorry Tim, I shouldn't have said that, I know you don't love me back."
"That's the problem. I can't love you back."
"I accept that, and you know that. Why are you crying, if that's the problem?"
He turned and looked me in the eyes, and said quietly, as if to himself, "I can't, but I can't stop myself." Then he grabbed my face, and kissed my hard on the lips.
PLEASE write to me at thehaydster@yahoo.com.au. Flames will be ignored.