This is the part where I say that is you're under 18 you can't read this and if gay sex offends you, you're on the wrong website anyway. And as far as I am aware, none of the Backstreet Boys or any other boybands are gay. And one other disclaimer. In the first part of this story, I said that the Backstreet Boys won a Grammy. Well, as we all know now, this is not true. However, we'll just call that creative license since we all know they were robbed of the Best Pop Album award. And now, on with the story.
Daniel and Brian sat at a little table in the corner of the restaurant. The place was dark and secluded. There was little danger of Brian being recognized.
After a few moments of awkward silence, Brian spoke, "Good choice. Out of the way, not too busy."
"I know how to treat celebrities." Daniel said, his arms folded on the table in front of him.
"Well, in some circles, you'd probably be more of a celebrity than me." Brian said, laughing.
"The most minor of one." Daniel said, "Trust me."
"So, what brought you to the Grammys?" Brian asked, "You don't really seem like the type who runs in the music industry circles."
"Is it that obvious?" Daniel asked, "I want to apologize for not knowing who you are. I suppose that was bad form."
"No, not at all." Brian said, smiling, "Like I said, it was actually quite refreshing. Meeting someone who doesn't gush over me is a nice change of pace."
"To be honest, I was at the awards for research." Daniel said, twirling his water glass in front of him nervously, "I'm working on a screenplay right now and one of the major scenes takes place at a music award show. I've never been to a music award show, so I talked the studio into getting me tickets for the Grammys."
"Sly." Brian said, "I'm impressed. So, where's your boyfriend?"
"You are direct aren't you?"
"Not all the time. For some reason it just seems to come easy with you, though."
Daniel looked thoughtful for a moment, then he said, "I'm single."
"Let me guess, you haven't found the right guy yet? Isn't that the line?"
"I suppose." Daniel said, completely caught off guard and loving it. "Well, what about you? Is there some lucky girlfriend or wife out there with the heart of young Mr. Brian Littrell on a chain."
"No." Brian said, grinning slyly, "No significant other...I still haven't found the right guy either."
Daniel was a little surprised by this, but he had been expecting it for awhile. "I suppose it's a little difficult in your position. Things have to be a little more delicate."
"To say the least." Brian said.
They were interrupted just then by the waiter to take their orders. The they finished, they waited for him to get out of earshot to resume their conversation.
"Yeah, I see a lot of that in the circles I'm in." Daniel said, looking a little sad, "It's one of the reasons that I'm glad I'm not a huge celebrity.
I couldn't handle having to shoulder everyone else's expectations of how my life should be. This way, I'm in the business, make good money, but can still live a life as privately as I want. It's the best of all possible worlds."
"I suppose so." Brian said, "One of the reasons why I'm comfortable telling you is that I figured that you've learned to keep secrets like this being from Hollywood."
"Yeah. I've got a lot of dirt. I have learned to keep my mouth shut, though. It's just not worth ruining someone's life just to get a little attention."
"Interesting viewpoint." Brian said.
"People will always speculate on various aspects of the lives of celebrities. Right now the 'gay thing' is the hot topic of the moment. Next year, it'll be something else."
Brian looked thoughtful for a moment. He took a breath and said, "Well, what about the school of thought that says that gay celebrities have an obligation to come out and be role models."
Daniel wondered where this conversation was leading to. It seemed awfully unusual for a getting-to-know-one-another talk. He thought for a moment and said, "Well, the whole celebrities as role-model thing bothers me anyway, but I think that a lot of people, both average people and celebrities who are out, forget how difficult the coming out process is. It takes some people years just to come out to whatever small circle of friends and family they have. I can only imagine how hard it would be when your every move is scrutinized like most celebrities. I mean coming out to five or ten people is hard enough. Coming out to thirty million is enough to scare the hell out of anyone. I couldn't do it. I respect those who can, but I completely understand those who can't."
Brian was quietly listening to that whole explanation, nodding occasionally. When Daniel finished, Brian reached over the table and put his hand on Daniel's. "That was beautiful." he said, "You nailed the way I feel in a nutshell."
"Does anyone know about you?" Daniel asked.
"The band, my family, a few close friends. Oh, and 'Nsync."
Daniel looked confused for a moment.
"You are out of the loop aren't you?" Brian asked, chuckling. "'Nsync is another boyband. Our...rivals for the crown you might say."
"Intriguing." Daniel said, "And why are they privy to this information?"
"I was having an affair with one of their members." Brian said flatly.
"How incestuous."
"Do you follow blind items at all?" Brian asked.
"Occasionally." Daniel said, "I know so much about so many people, blind items usually bore me. Why do you ask?"
"A few months ago a blind item ran about two members of a boyband that were having an affair with each other. The item continued to say that one of those guys was also having a thing with a member of a rival boyband."
"And you were one of those, right?"
"Right. I was the member of the rival band. JC Chasez from 'Nsync and I were having a hot and heavy...'thing.' However, simultaneously, he was carrying on with Justin, another member of 'Nsync. We all knew about each other. It was really just us having a good time. I mean, like we discussed, there's not many people guys like me can have something with. Anyway, when that blind item came out, our respective managers came to us and made us cool it."
"That sucks." Daniel said, "I'm sorry that happened to you. Were you in love with him?"
"No." Brian answered matter-of-factly, "Maybe if it were different circumstances. As things were, though, we knew that we couldn't have any kind of a real life together, so we just took it for what it was."
"And what was it?" Daniel asked, "At the risk of sounding rude."
"Not at all." Brian said, "It was a couple of young guys having a good time together. You're only young once, right?"
"And beautiful and rich and famous. You might as well enjoy it."
"I certainly did." Brian said, "It was a lot of fun. I can say I enjoyed it. I think he did too. I guess that's all that matters, right?"
Just then, their food arrived. They spent the rest of the meal in relative silence, only occasionally speaking.
When they were done, Daniel insisted on paying the bill, explaining that he was on an expense account.
They left the restaurant together and walked slowly down the street.
"So how long are you in town?" Brian asked.
"Til tomorrow." Daniel said, "I'm not a big fan of New York. At least not for any extended period of time."
"Do you live in L.A.?" Brian asked.
"I have an apartment there." Daniel said, "My actual place of residence is New Orleans."
Brian perked up visibly when he heard that, "Really? I love New Orleans. I love making that a stop on our tours."
"You and everyone else in the world." Daniel said, "I grew up there. It's just home to me. I've never understood everyone's fascination with it."
"Oh, it's the coolest city in the world. Talk about a "city that never sleeps." That's New Orleans."
"You have no idea." Daniel said, smiling at Brian's youthful exuberance, "How long are ya'll here?"
"Ya'll?" Brian said, mimicking Daniel, "You are from the South. It's been ages since I've heard anyone use the word 'ya'll.' We're here until tomorrow as well. We're in the middle of the second leg of our tour."
"So, is that really difficult? The touring thing?"
"I've been doing it for so long now, I don't know how to live without it anymore. Waking up in the same town two nights in a row is strange for me now. I suppose it's the same for all the guys."
"You've got more stamina than I do. I need more stability than that."
"Well, we have each other. That's the main thing that keeps us going. And our families support us completely. We all come from homes with a lot of love. I guess that's how we were able to develop our relationships with each other so easily. I mean, I love those four guys more than just about anyone else in the world. God help anyone who ever tries to hurt any one of them."
They looked up and realized that they were back at the hotel.
Brian looked down at his feet, seeming not to want to look Daniel in the eye.
"Is something wrong?" Daniel asked, "Was there something else you wanted to do?"
"You know, it's strange." Brian said, "I've been planning this moment since I spoke to you at the party last night and now, I just feel awkward and tongue-tied."
"Well, just say it." Daniel said, "What's the worst that can happen?"
Brian looked up and gazed directly into Daniel's eye. "Can we go to your room?"
"God," Daniel said, "I know how you feel. I've been waiting for one of us to ask that since last night, but now..."
"What?"
"Can I be totally frank with you?" Daniel asked, pulling his cigarette pack out and lighting one. That was the first one he'd had since he met up with Brian, and he needed this one.
"Of course." Brian said, "I was just pretty frank a minute ago."
"Don't get me wrong. I desperately want to have sex with you. That was all I dreamed about last night..."
"Really?" Brian asked, looking at him slyly.
"...But I don't just want a fling. I'm past that stage now. I think you're a great guy. We've had a nice conversation, and I think I could really grow to like you. I do not, however, just want us to fuck and vanish. I don't want either of us to be a notch on the other's headboard."
"Well, what do you want? I mean a relationship would be a little difficult in the position we're in."
"Which position do you mean?" Daniel asked.
"Neither of us are really in a place to have a relationship right now." Brian said, being terribly vague.
"I don't understand what you mean? Why do you think that?"
"Well, like we discussed, my life is just too hectic. I'm never in one place long enough to beuild any kind of relationship with anyone. My life is recording and then hitting the road for three hundred days out of the year. That doesn't really make for a stable home life for me and someone else. Not to mention the..."
He trailed off and looked down again.
"The what?" Daniel asked, "The gay thing?"
"I didn't say that." Brian said, not looking Daniel in the eye.
"Well, it's pretty obvious. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. But you are gay, Brian. What are you going to do? Are you never going to have a relationship because you can't be seen in public with a guy?"
"Do you have a better idea?" Brian asked.
"Keep it private." Daniel said, looking him right in the eye.
"Oh and how would you suggest I do that?" Brian asked, "It's a little difficult to avoid the media."
"Then don't avoid them." Daniel said, looking directly at him, "Hide in plain sight. You can be with someone romantically in private and spend lots of time with them in public without displaying affection in public. If it looks like you have something to hide, the press will go after you like a wolf-pack. If you parade things out in front of them, they miss it and let it fly by without realizing what's going on."
"Sounds risky." Brian said, "Would you want to go through something like that?"
"I've done it before." Daniel said, "I've dated a couple of actors in my day."
"Famous ones?"
"Yeah, I suppose."
"Oooh, like who?" Brian asked, sounding like a little kid.
"Now now," Daniel gently scolded, "You want me to be discreet about you. I can't very well go blabbing about other people now, can I?"
Brian looked down and rubbed the ground with his shoe. "I guess not." he mumbled.
"Let's go up." Daniel said, putting his hand on Brian's arm and guiding him into the hotel.
"Are you sure?" Brian asked.
"Positive." Daniel said, "I've stated my position on the whole thing. We'll see what happens. We're both big boys, we can handle the repercussions."
Brian smiled, his eyes sparkling.
When they reached the room, Daniel pulled Brian into a tight embrace. They began kissing passionately.
Then, suddenly, Brian pulled back. He moved away from Daniel and sat on the bed, looking down at the ground.
"What's wrong?" Daniel asks.
"You're right." Brian said, "We should wait."
"Really?" Daniel asked, "What changed your mind?"
"A lot of things that rolled into my head all at once. I do like you a lot. You're really sweet and fun to talk to. You are right, though, we barely know each other. The more I think about it, the more I want to wait until things are just right between us."
"Or maybe they won't be." Daniel said, "It may turn out that things would be better if we simply stayed friends. And if that happens, then I wouldn't want to sleep with you. I have real issues on the whole subject of sleeping with friends."
"Plus I have a lot of things that need to be ironed out first." Brian said, "You've made me realize a lot of things and made me accept that some things need to be changed in my life."
"In one day?" Daniel asked, "Man, I wish I knew that I could be that influential."
"Well, some of the things you've said and some of the things we've discussed have just started the ball rolling in my head."
"Well, I'm glad I could help." Daniel said.
"I need to go meet the others." Brian said, "Would you like to catch a late show tonight and maybe get a quick bite?"
"Sure." Daniel said, "I'll be here most of the evening."
"Cool." Brian said, "I'll give you a call."
"I'll be here."
Brian stood up and walked to Daniel. The two men embraced. Brian pulled his head back slightly and he kissed Daniel deeply and passionately. When they pulled apart, Daniel's eyes remained closed for a minute.
"You should probably go before I chain you up in here and never let you leave."
Brian chuckled and went to the door. He opened the door and turned to Daniel. "Before I leave, I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me and I'll never forget this. I'll always be very fond of you."
"This is a little too Greta Garbo for my tastes. We're going to see each other tonight. We don't need the dramatic goodbyes."
"We're gay artists." Brian said, smiling his winning smile, "What are we if not dramatic?"
"Sane?" Daniel said as much to himself as to Brian.
Brian smiled again and walked out of the room.
Daniel watched the door for a minute. He turned and walked to the window looking down at the street for a moment.
"I hope I didn't let a really good thing just walk out of my life." he said out loud to no one.
THE END
Well, that's the end of part two. I'm sorry I let the ball drop with the sex scene, but it just didn't feel right to have it happen right now. Maybe in part three. We'll see how the relationship develops and what happens when Daniel gets some shocking news about Brian.