AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is an Alternative Universe kind of story, while it has some Nsync members as main characters, it happens in a dimension where Nsync doesn't exist.
DEDICATION: To JS. If only life was easy, if only it was fair. I can only wish.
DISCLAIMER: As much as I've been working on that deal with the Devil, I still don't own or even know Nsync or any of the characters. It's just something my twisted mind made me write.
COMMERCIAL BREAK: My stories are hosted on the following sites: http://www.slashygoodness.com/ http://www.angelfire.com/boybands/druid555/index.html http://angelfire.lycos.com/music3/nsyncslavecult Thanks to Red, Shaun and Samantha. Join the NsyncSlashChronicles and NSlashFic Yahoo Groups!
CRUEL INTENTIONS CHAPTER 18 by Rick - jc.chasez@gmx.net
I was glowing the next day. I figured that what I did the night before would put Justin at ease. I had shown him who's who. The next day was Saturday so I asked Josh to go out with me after school and to stay the night at my place. He was very happy with the idea and me happier because of that. After school we went to see some stupid horror flick and he got kinda scared. I found that extremely cute. He was leaning close to me. I doubted whether to put my arm around him, but decided against it. I didn't really want to put on a show right there at the theater. We had dinner at a magnificent restaurant. It had dim light and everything. We were discussing the movie and he blushed when he admitted that he had actually gotten scared by it.
He had a shy grin that just completely melted me. Now it was my turn to be afraid. Even though I could feel a special bond growing between us, I was holding back... I couldn't let myself do this.
When my parents divorced 13 years ago, I realized that love didn't exist. I swore that I would never let anyone break my heart. I wasn't going to be vulnerable, that pain is unbearable. If anyone was going to be doing the hurting, then that person was going to be me. I was not about to fall in love. Never. So far I had suceeded. I can't remember the number of times I've hurt people on purpose. Enjoying it, scheming the way, twisting the knife afterwards. I got completely lost thinking about this when I suddenly realized that we had gone silent and he was staring at me.
"Is there anything wrong, Rick?" "Um, nothing at all... why would it be?" "You seemed very thoughtful for a moment... Do you want to talk about it?" He had seen it, but it was just too hard to say it. "No, Josh. I'm okay. I was just thinking of what to do tomorrow." "Are you sure?" he was very serious. "But of course! I think you haven't even seen the sights here in the city." "If you say so..." "I do, now let's go home. Shall we?" "Sure," he shrugged.
I paid the bill and we left. During the ride back home I tried my best to bullshit him about being scared and stuff. We said goodnight and he looked into my eyes. "I had a great time tonight. Thanks, you're my best friend." He hugged me and we stayed like that for some seconds. "You're more than welcome. Have a good night" I said letting go.
A couple of hours later, I couldn't sleep well and I got out of my room to go get some vodka. On my way back, I heard a sniffle coming from Josh's room. I got closer and really quiet. I heard it again. I tried the door and it was unlocked. "Josh?" I saw him move slightly but he didn't answer. I stepped closer to the bed. "Josh, are you okay?" "Um, yeah Rick. Did I wake you up?" He didn't turn his head back. I knew why. "What is it Josh?" "Nothing... I think I'm getting sick" "Do you need anything?" "No, no... I'm fine" "No, you're not. You were crying"
He didn't answer. I sat on the bed and put my hand on his bare shoulder. "I'm here for you" He made a muffled sound. A sob. "It's really nothing" "Please, Josh. Tell me" "I just... I just I'm stupid" There it was again, the pain. Why did he make me feel like that?
"Why would you say that?" "I just am" I couldn't leave him like that. Lifting the covers, I got in bed with him. I was just wearing my underwear, as was he. I put my arm around his body, holding him. "You are not stupid. Something is bothering you. Let it out" "I can't," he said. He didn't try to move.
I held him tight against me. "It's going to be ok. Tell me when you're ready" He began to cry. He was trembling in my arms. I made him turn over and he buried his face on my chest. I felt his tears. I rubbed his back for a while and he finally stopped crying. Lifting up his head, he looked at me and said thanks. I kissed his forehead and his nose. He seemed to be waiting for more. This was the chance. But for the first time, I didn't take advantage of someone in need. I just kept holding him until we both eventually fell asleep.
TBC...
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