Dan and Ben at Sixty-two

Dan and Ben at Sixty-two--Chapter Four By Ezra Randle

As Gary was driving them over to Ricky's and Helen's house for lunch, he said, "Nervous much?"

"Just a little. We met your brother for a burger months ago at Maurice's. But, yeah, I feel like I'll be under inspection to some degree."

In reality, Ben was very nervous. As much as he and Gary had talked about an event like this, he was very hesitant. He had gotten along well enough with Ellie's family years ago, but never went out of his way to see them any more than what Ellie arranged. And now he didn't see them at all. His relationship with Maureen's father had been a disaster from the get-go. He had detested Ben from the start and nothing Maureen said or did ever changed that. Ben concluded he was just an angry SOB. He was very happy he and Maureen didn't have children to share.

The issues with his own daughters were complicated. Annie was working hard at convincing Jesse and Marnie to ease off. But even Annie was skeptical, questioning whether or not the transition from his love affair and marriage to Maureen all the way to having his male lover living with him was a statement of Ben's instability. Or worse. Annie and Jessie promised to visit him and Gary at the end of the month. He was uneasy about that encounter, too.

"What does your mother know about us?" Ben asked.

"Not much."

"You've never told me much about your parents."

"You know about my father. He bolted when I was starting high school. I've only seen him a few times since."

"Out of sight, out of mind?"

"Yes and no. I can't dismiss him completely, but he doesn't mean much anymore. He's been gone for a longer stretch than I ever knew him. So, mostly out of mind."

"You see your mom when you visit your brother. That's what you usually tell me."

"Yup. She's just ten miles from where he lives. She hasn't approved of me since high school when I came out. She sees my life as living a perversion. When I see her, we talk about my job and Ricky's family. A little bit about my sister Doreen who's out in Seattle. She is ten years older than me. I've never really known her."

"The all-American dysfunctional family. Welcome to the club."

"Ricky makes up for all the shit. I hope he likes you."

"What have you told him about me?"

"I showed him a picture. Fully clothed of course. He knows we work in the same field. He knows about your marriages and your kids. Sort of. I didn't go into much detail. Ricky's a family guy, so he might ask you about your kids."

"Has he said what he thinks about our age disparity?"

"Not too much. I think he will after he meets you."

"Am I the first guy you've brought home to meet the family?"

Gary laughed. "Yeah, boss. Ricky's just eighteen months older than I am, so you are old enough to be the daddy to both of us."

"Fuck you. That's the issue I'm most afraid he'll disapprove of."

"Ricky knows about me and older guys. He's met a few of the men I was dating."

"Yeah, but bringing your daddy home with you is something quite different."

Ricky and Helen greeted them warmly, and the two children, Jaden and Julie, who were six and eight, jumped up and down as they greeted their uncle. They chatted for a while in the living room, which was mostly watching Gary play with the kids, then they moved to the dining room table for lunch. The kids ate their sandwiches quickly and went to play in the basement, leaving the four of them. "Wonderful soup. Who made it?" Ben said.

"Helen's the usual cook. But soups and chili are my thing. Sometimes I make bread."

"The bread and soup are both delicious," Ben said.

"Who cooks at your place?" Helen asked.

"We pretty much share it, wouldn't you say, Gary?"

"No need to make me out to be something I'm not, Ben. They know I don't cook much. Ben does almost all of it. But I'm getting really good at heating up leftovers. And I've started taking lunches to work."

Ricky laughed. "Now that's a big step. One of these days you'll be cooking as well. Who cleans up in the kitchen, Ben? And don't make out like little brother's doing that."

Ben laughed. "He does it. Almost religiously. Every night. And not just loading up the dishwasher. The pots and pans, too."

"No shit. That I'd have to see."

"I could do a demo with lunch dishes," Gary said.

At that moment the kids ran in. "Can Uncle Gary play with us downstairs?"

Gary laughed. "I guess I'm off the hook."

"Yes, he can come down. I'll clean up," Helen said.

Ben and Ricky sat in the living room. "It's a pleasure to meet you again, Ricky. Gary's told me so many times how much he likes visiting you here."

"Mind if I ask you a few questions, Ben? Just to learn some more things about you."

"Yeah, go ahead. I figured this was coming. So feel free."

"Normally, I wouldn't care about the guy he's dating. But this seems really serious for him. I just want to make sure you're serious as well."

"He's living with me. So, that's a statement. I love him and I'm not embarrassed to tell you that. It's to reassure you."

"Is he paying rent or upkeep?"

"No. He contributes for most of the food. And almost always we eat in. But I told him I wanted him to save his money for a while and live rent free."

"He could afford it, you know. And maybe that would be better all the way around."

"I think you have the wrong impression of me."

"I don't really have much impression. I just don't want you to have him there purely for your pleasure. I'm assuming it's a sexual relationship, right?"

Ben nodded. "It's a mutual thing, Ricky. I know I'm old enough to be the father of both of you, but age has nothing to do with this. Your brother carries himself like an older man. He's quite smart and thoughtful. I see him as my peer."

"He's got a lot of money. We both inherited from our grandparents. They didn't want to give their wealth to dad. You know about our father running off, right?"

"Yeah. Gary's talked about him."

"Good. We own the place up at Lake Superior. I know you've been there."

"It's beautiful. But I didn't know you shared it."

"We don't really. I don't like going up there, so I turned it over to Gary. But on paper, we are joint owners. And they gave us each almost a quarter of a million. I don't know for sure what Gary's done with his. But I'm sure he's got enough to pay you rent if you wanted it."

"I don't want his money."

"Do you mind if I ask if you've done this sort of thing before?"

"What's that?"

"Having a younger man living with you? If that's your thing? I know Gary gravitates toward older guys. He's told me all about that attraction."

"Ricky, this may be hard for you to believe. I haven't been out for that long. I didn't start seeing men until I was about fifty. After my first wife died. I've got three daughters and they all have kids. So, in most respects, I'm a very mainstream guy. I've always been like that. But I discovered I really prefer men to women while I was having an affair with a close friend. He's my age. So, to your question, I'm not a daddy type figure for younger men. That's never been what Gary and I are about. He just happens to be forty and I just happen to be sixty-two. I know what it looks like. And from the outside, I'd be making assumptions like you are."

Ricky nodded his head. "That's pretty much what little brother has told me. That for him, there's nothing really unconventional about your relationship. The age difference is really quite coincidental. And that you are such a mainstream guy that he's a bit shocked he's taken up with you."

Ben laughed. "That's very funny. But as I imagine you know, your brother is a very funny guy. He makes me laugh at least once a day."

Ricky smiled. "He's always been that way. Completely lovable because of that. Have you seen him with kids?"

"A little bit. With my daughter's. He played with them very well."

"He's always had that knack. Growing up, he was the neighborhood sitter for a bunch of families. In high demand. All through high school. He made a lot of money doing it."

"This might seem a bit silly, but there is a certain kind of purity about him. Almost a childlike quality."

"I know. That's why I've been grilling you. To make sure you're not taking advantage of that."

"I'm not."

"Do you know about our mother?"

"Enough to know he sees her fairly often, usually when he drives down here to see you. They don't see eye to eye about some things."

"She's a bitter lady. Angry she didn't get any of the money from Dad's side of the family like we did. Not that she deserved it. She hates that Gary is gay and hates herself he's turned out like he has. Like she's done something wrong."

"You must get along with her better than your brother?"

"Some. But I end up defending Gary, which usually becomes a reason to get up and leave."

"We're going to get going soon. I'm not sure I've answered all of your questions or taken care of your concerns."

"Pretty much. I appreciate you being honest with me. Just one more thing. Do you wake up in a bit of shock to see yourself living such a different life? You know, compared to when you were younger raising a family?"

Ben chuckled. "All the time. I'm still getting used to the new me. But I do want you to know, I'll reach out to you if something's going wrong with Gary."

"Thanks. I feel less likely that will happen with you than if he were on his own. You seem like a stand-up guy. So, I'm not too worried. We should go downstairs. But let's do it quietly. We can see Gary in action with my kids."

They stood in the doorway to the downstairs playroom. Neither Gary nor Rickey's kids noticed them as Gary helped them construct a Lego building. It was such peaceful play that Ben smiled up at Ricky. "Very nice. Your brother has lots of talents."

Gary turned around and waved. "You ready to leave, boss?"

"Whenever you are."

Gary stood up and straightened his pants. "It's been fun, guys. Ben and I need to take off."

"Mom said you might babysit for us some weekend?"

"I'd love to."

The kids waved goodbye to Ben and resumed their play. Ricky and Helen walked them out to the driveway. "Thanks for having us. It was very enjoyable," Ben said.

Ricky shook Ben's hand and Gary hugged both Ricky and Helen. A few blocks away, Gary said, "Want to play the daily double? Mom's place is just a few miles south."

Ben smiled. "I feel like I'm one-for-one. But I don't want to push my luck."

"I don't either. Did you and Ricky have a good chat? I know he wanted to."

"I think we did. You'd have to ask him about it. He's really looking out for you."

Gary laughed. "You think so?"

"Has he always been that way?"

"Since I came out in high school. Especially when he realized Mom was never going to forgive me for being what I am. But this is the first time he's interviewed one of my lovers. The man I was with in my twenties didn't really count. I loved him but my brother knew that one wasn't going to last. Now I'm forty. I'm settling down material. And you're sixty-two. You're a serious guy."

"He wanted to make sure I wasn't a daddy misusing you."

"He told me that a month or so ago. When he could see this was something important for me."

"I told him it was just coincidence you were forty and I was sixty-two."

"That was smart."

"Hey, buddy, you're brother told me about the money. That the two of you have inherited."

Gary shook his head. "He shouldn't have told you that."

"You don't have to tell me anymore about it. He mentioned it, like you could afford your share of living together."

"Is that what you want, Ben?"

"Not at all. Even more so now since I know about your money. I hope you haven't spent it all."

"It's all invested. It's my pension. It's what I was lucky enough to get without deserving it. Maybe Ricky wishes he had some more of his. He's spent at least half of his with his house and kids."

"He didn't mention he wanted any of yours. He was just looking out for you. Does he know you've invested it?"

"Kind of. We don't talk that much about it. But he knows I haven't blown it. And I've never owned a house."

"You're kind of in limbo, Gary. Living with me. You're buying most of the food. That seems fair to me. My house is paid for. I'm lucky. I see us as two independent guys getting along."

"And madly in love, boss?"

"Yeah. Madly in love."

That night after working in the backyard for the afternoon, moving some perennials to some new plots, they stretched out in Ben's bed. They were both fatigued but still eager to talk. "I'm really impressed with Ricky. He is genuinely a nice guy and very caring, about his family and you. As dysfunctional as your parents were you two really worked it out. How's your sister?"

"I just don't know her enough to say."

"Did she benefit like you two did from your dad's family?"

"Not as much. For one thing, she's my half-sister. Mom had her before she met up with my father. She moved out when I was eight and Ricky was ten. But Dad's parents still gave her fifty thousand."

"Lucky girl."

"My brother has been my closest friend for a long time. I told him I was gay when I was fifteen. When I was seventeen or so, and he was nineteen, I stayed with him quite a bit at his apartment. We hadn't received the inheritance yet, and he was scraping by working as a carpenter's helper. We'd talk a lot. He was going with a girl and had a pretty intense sexual relationship during high school. I'd had sex with a few older men, like in their thirties and they'd taught me a lot. He wanted me to tell him how I got pleasure from a man?"

Ben laughed. "It wasn't obvious?"

"Of course he knew what men did, but he wanted to know more. The specifics. How it worked for me. Specifically. I think he was still halfway convinced it was just a phase for me. I asked him if he liked a woman's breasts. He said of course he did. It wasn't like when he was fifteen when that's all he wanted. But he still loved kissing them and feeling them. I said, I do, too. I like a man's chest and when he plays with my nipples. I had already learned that my tits were very sensitive, especially my nips. I asked him if his were and he said, he had no idea. It wasn't part of his exchange with women."

"You were just seventeen at the time, talking about stuff like this?"

"Like I said, we're pretty close about a lot of things. Then he went off talking about how much he loved pussy. Touching it and licking it. Entering it and fucking it. He practically had an orgasm talking about it. He said something like I don't have anything that good with men. Anything that's made for that purpose."

"A very common argument. I've used it myself back in the day."

"I told him a man's genitals were amazing to me. Touching them and licking them. I'd already had some anal experience so I said that a man's ass was pretty exciting to me."

"What did he say?"

"He had to admit there were a lot of ways to have pleasure with a man if he were somebody so inclined. He thanked me for being frank with him. Then he asked me if I had already fucked a man. So I said a few times. I wasn't an expert. That I've fucked and been fucked."

"Gary, you know this kind of talk gets me aroused."

Gary touched Ben's cock and it was leaking. "Then Ricky asked me what it felt like, to be fucked. I told him about cleaning out. One of my first lovers gave me some very good lessons about that. As you might imagine, that really blew his mind. Then he asked me, does it actually feel good to have a cock up my ass?"

"I told him it's a bit of an acquired taste and I was still learning. But, yeah, it feels good."

"Did the conversation end well?"

"He admitted he understood the genital pleasure. That wasn't a reach for him. One of his girlfriends loved to suck him off. But the anal part was mystifying. It was too foreign to him."

"When you were fifteen, did you think about the anal part?"

"Not much. I'd stare at men's crotches all the time. A bit obsessively. There were a few teachers. I couldn't get enough of their classes. I'd sit in the front of the classroom."

Ben laughed. "Like when you watched me at work for that year we were together."

"Yes. That was very enjoyable. If I knew then that we'd eventually be intimate, I probably would have been rubbing up against you all the time. Accidentally, of course."

Gary continued to rub Ben's arm. "Ben, is man to man sex something second rate for you? Not as good as with a woman. I mean just the physical part. I'm not talking about how much you love Dan or me. You've made a choice after years with women. I never had that kind of authentic choice in a way. I never had sex with a woman."

"How close did you come?"

"I dated a girl when I was fifteen. She was a year ahead of me in high school. She was very sweet. We started getting quite physical over a series of dates. The kissing was very passionate. I'd rub her breasts through her blouse. I think she got fed up with my timid advances. One night we were alone in her house, and she left for a minute and came back. I didn't know right away she'd taken off her bra. But when we started making out, she put my hand on her breasts. Then she very quickly unbuttoned her blouse. She sighed and moaned as I licked and played with them. I was very intrigued with her nipples. They really popped out when I sucked them. She opened up her pants so I could reach inside them. She had taken off her underwear, too. So, I touched her and rubbed her. She got very, very wet and orgasmed as I fingered her. She told me later she masturbated quite often."

"You didn't enter her?"

"I wasn't hard enough otherwise I might have."

"Still, that's quite a bit for a first time adventure."

"When I went home, I started thinking of my chemistry teacher. How he always seemed to wear trousers that didn't fit just right and revealed his bulge. I got so hard that I was leaking just visualizing him. It was probably the best jack off session I'd ever had in my life until then. But I never dated Marcie again. A few days later, I told her I was gay. I apologized for leading her on."

"Was she angry?"

"Not so much angry as confused. She got over it and we continued with our friendship. That's when she told me about her masturbation and dating other boys. I became her confidant."

Ben chuckled. "That's very sweet, Gary."

"So tell me, is what you do with men something not quite as good as what you did with Ellie and Maureen?"

"Let me go in order, kind of like you did with your brother. The chest part is kind of a wash. I loved a woman's breasts when I was coming of age and through early dating. It was everything because the bottom half was still off limits. But a man's chest has become just as arousing. The discovery that my nipples are such an erogenous zone was mind blowing. And to see other men react the same way. So, on the scoresheet, it's one-to-one."

"Did you ever play with your nipples when you were young?"

"Never. Now, as to the below the waist stuff, once I realized that a woman's vagina was the end zone, I couldn't get enough of it. With Ellie for sure. Sometime in my first year with her I discovered oral with her. She'd never had it done to her and it dramatically changed our sex life. I always licked her unless it was a quickie, which was just me getting off. So licking a clitoris vs. licking your cock and balls. I'd give the edge to cock and balls."

"Really?"

"Not really a contest in many ways. If you like cock of course. A man's balls are a very underappreciated aspect of it. Mine are ultra-sensitive to a man's tongue. Neither Ellie nor Maureen understood that. Maureen gave a good blow job though I don't think she got me to cum even once. For Ellie, sucking my cock was an occasional obligation but she was not much good at it. I say that with complete love for her. A good male lover never forgets the clitoris, but even a really experienced lover like Maureen doesn't do justice to how a cock and balls can be pleasured. You have to have one to appreciate it."

Gary slipped his cock between Ben's ass cheeks. "And a man's ass?"

"Well, that's the wild card. I'm guessing there are lots of men who don't do anal. At least, very often. I can understand that. Maybe if I wasn't so fucking sensitive right there, I wouldn't have needed to go that far. I mean the first time with Dan was like a culmination of everything we tried. We had to experiment with that, too. But now it's a regular part of the joy. You and I don't always fuck. Half the time maybe."

"More than half, Ben. At least with me fucking you."

"Well, if I didn't go to bed with an oversexed younger guy it would be less."

"I've never been with a man who enjoyed sex like you do. Is it more with a man than a woman?"

"It's more right now. Maybe it will become less as we get older together. I won't be enough for you perhaps. That's when open relationships develop. Right now I don't think of that. You're more than I can handle."

Gary laughed. "You're a truckload yourself."

"To complete the scorecard. The kissing and touching is just as good. I've loved two men, you and Dan, and it's very comparable to kissing either Ellie or Maureen. Except now, since I've completed my conversion, it's even better. And I never talked about sex with Maureen like we do. Definitely not with Ellie. And that's really enjoyable. Very liberating. So, the final tally, more options with a man. Not locked into just one role as with a woman. And I can't tell you how good you feel cuddling me like this."

Gary kissed his neck. "Ben, I know we have a long way to go with this dance we're doing. But I sure enjoy it. And you. If Ricky had been a fly on the wall during the last hour of us talking and cuddling, he'd understand. It's way more than just parts fitting into openings. It's something like he has with Helen. The physical thing when it's combined with the lovemaking is more intense."

"That part is the same, Gary. Same as it was for me with Ellie or Maureen."

"So, this, our big experiment, living together is working out for you?"

"It is. Not without its moments. Not always easy. But I couldn't ask for anything better right now."

"I was so nervous when you asked me to move in. You probably didn't notice. Because I've never lived with someone before. You have. The little things. The day to day things. They come more easily to you. I'm still learning. I think I'm getting better. Sometimes I have to retreat to the basement. But for the most part, I'm very surprised I'm doing as well as I am. I always thought I'd be a flop at this living together thing."

"You're doing very well, Gary. To the point where I am getting better and better at being public with you. Hope you can remember how hard that is for me."

"You were great today."

"There's more to come. Annie and Jessie are coming next month."