Desert Heat

Desert Heat Chapter 5

Author's Note

Introduction

I welcome feedback from readers, in fact I thrive on it.

This story is radically different from what I usually write. There are no magic or supernatural elements, and there are no Dominant/Submissive relationships. This is a story about an older man (Fernando) and a younger man (Matty) who fall in love. Both are adults. It's also a story about Matty's cousin Jimmy who is being abused without his knowledge by a close friend, and a story about Fernando's son Johnny and his lover Alex Xiao, a basketball player and engineering student.

The story starts slow but will build up to more detailed sexual situations soon.

I plan 1-2 chapters every month.

Please remember that NIFTY is a free site that provides an invaluable resource for men like us. Please consider donating to help ensure that site remains available for everyone. https://donate.nifty.org/

You can contact me at pseudonominius@gmail.com.

Author's Notes

·        Incorrect Name. Fernando Castillo was accidentally misnamed Fernando Chavez in chapter one. Castillo is correct. I hope there's no confusion. One of the Castillo's sons would have had the same name as a real-world cousin of mine if his last name were Chavez. The character in this story is not based on my cousin.

·        If you want to be informed of new stories, send me an email, and ask to be put on the notification list. I'll send a notification. Everyone will be on the bcc line so your email address will not show to other members.

·        I have created a google group for people who want to get more information about my stories in that format. Only I can view the member list, so data should be secure. If a reader sends a question my way, I will post the answer to that group after removing any information about the reader. It's a good way to get more background information if you want. https://groups.google.com/g/pseudominius-stories

·        This type of story is new to me. I welcome your feedback, but this story is a new LBGTQ genre for me so please be gentle.

My Stories

·        College Magic (authoritarian and sf/fantasy)

·        Jack and the Giant (sf/fantasy)

·        Sacred Submissives (authoritarian and sf/fantasy)

·        Bellus Cinaedus (authoritarian and historical)

·        Guardian Angel (authoritarian and sf/fantasy)

·        Nivean and the Dvergar (authoritarian)

·        Small Town Slave Boys (authoritarian)

·        Desert Heat (beginnings)

·        Eros in Arcadia (Sf/fantasy)

·        Constituent Services (Encounters)

Desert Heat Chapter 5 (Like a Desert Shower)

Matty

It was the smell of his sweat that woke me up. I was snuggled against Fernando, my face in his armpit, his powerful masculine scent flowing into my body and arousing every nerve. Before I even opened my eyes, I stuck out my tongue and tasted his salty sweat. Fernando chuckled and tousled my hair.

"So, my baby likes the taste of my sweat," he said.

I opened my eyes and replied, "I like every part of you I've ever tasted, sir."

He kissed my lips. The feeling of his rough scruffiness against my smooth cheeks sent a thrill of pleasure all the way through my body, from my lips down to my toes.

"We'll have to explore that more later," he said. "As soon as Carlito is out of the shower, I'm going to get in. Then you'll have your chance before we go out for breakfast."

He got out of bed and when I didn't follow, he grabbed hold of me and pulled me out of the bed into a princess hold. I laid my head against his chest and toyed with his chest hair until he kissed me again and let me down. "We don't have time for sex this morning, no matter how badly you need to feel me inside you," he said. "I promised Carlito we'd go out for breakfast this morning, so get back into your pajamas and go talk to him while I'm showering."

He didn't move until I started pulling my pajamas on. Then he slapped my butt playfully and said, "Good boy."

He'd said that he thought it was a little weird for me to call him "daddy", but then he treated me like his boy. And every time he did, it made me need him more. I was reluctantly concluding that I had serious daddy issues. It didn't bother me, but it made my small cock hard to hide, especially since I didn't own any underwear, thanks to Josh. I decided to grab a towel and washcloth so I could hold them on my lap while talking to Carlos.

When I got into the living room Carlos was still in his boxers and a tee shirt. He was about my height, but he was solid, like his dad. His shoulders were broad and muscular, and that tee shirt showed off every contour of his chest and back. When he turned around to face me, I could see his dick pressing against his boxers. He was considerably bigger than me. If my eyes weren't deceiving me, he was almost as big as his dad already, even though he was only fourteen years old.

"Good morning," he said, drawing my eyes up to his face with his words. He was a good-looking kid, too.

"Good morning," I replied, taking a seat on the other futon, the one he hadn't slept on last night. "Have you been up long?"

He stretched and flexed his muscles. Then he said, "Papa and I got up early to lift weights, so we'd be done when you got up. He wasn't happy when I came into the room to wake him. Apparently you can't keep a sheet on when you sleep, and it was obvious how much Papa likes you."

I blushed and drew my legs up onto the futon so I could more easily hide my erection. Carlos was smiling at me, and it made squirm a little.

"I'm sorry, Cuate, if I'm making you uncomfortable. You're cute when you blush, but I'm not trying to embarrass you," he said.

I wasn't sure I believed him, but I didn't sense any meanness in his words. "You look and sound like your dad," I replied.

Carlos smiled and asked, "Is that why you're trying to hide your erection under that towel?"

I turned so red that my ears were burning. I wanted to jump up and run out of the room, but I knew that my dick was poking out the short legs of my pajama pants. Carlos saw my panic and moved over to my futon and sat close to me. He put his arm around my shoulders and said, "Sorry again. My friends and I joke about our erections all the time. I shouldn't have teased you. It's just that you kind of act like you're my age sometimes."

Even after a shower, Carlos smelled nice. He hadn't put on deodorant yet, and he smelled of soap and ... damn! He smelled like his dad. Whatever that smell was that drove me crazy, Carlos had it too. I had to change the subject, but my mind was still stuck on how much Carlos looked like his dad.

"It's okay. I just get embarrassed when I get hard in front of people. Does your brother look like your dad too?" I asked.

Carlos chuckled and said, "No. I look like Papa. Johnny looks almost exactly like my mama's brother Miguel."

He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of a very handsome Latino guy with wavy black hair longish on top with a high fade. He had hazel eyes, a somewhat thin nose, and well-shaped lips, with high cheekbones. He had skin lighter than Carlos and his dad.

"That's Johnny?" I asked.

"Yeah. I used to hate him because he never took a bad picture," he said.

Then he showed me several other pictures of the same young guy. In one he was playing a guitar. In another he was playing volleyball. In a third he was just getting out of the pool with his hair pasted to his head. Carlos was right. His brother Johnny looked good in all the pictures.

"Now if you see him on campus, you'll know what he looks like," Carlos said. "Maybe the two of you can find each other."

Looking at pictures of Johnny while Carlos sat next to me on the couch, his thigh touching mine, had done nothing to soften my erection. When Fernando came back into the room moist and steaming, I took the opportunity to run into the shower. I was just relaxing under the warm water, thinking about masturbating to make my cock go down when Fernando popped his head through the curtain and said, "Don't you dare masturbate in here, Matty. I didn't take care of myself because I'm saving it for you tonight."

He was saving it for me! Those words almost made me shoot by themselves. I had a sexy man, and he was so into me that he didn't want to masturbate. He wanted to wait until we could be together. I cleaned up quickly so I wouldn't be tempted to disobey him.

I went into Fernando's bedroom to get dressed, but I only had the clothes I wore yesterday. I was still sniffing them, trying to figure out whether I should put them back on, when Fernando came back into the room. He walked over and kissed me, while one hand grabbed my dick and stroked it roughly. I gasped and felt the first stirrings of an orgasm, but he let go.

"I see that you did what I asked you to," he whispered directly into my ear.

"I will always obey you, sir," I replied, holding onto his powerful shoulders to maintain my balance. His touch made me that dizzy.

"I was looking though your bag. You don't wear underwear?" he asked.

"All my underwear was stolen in the laundry room," I said. "And my clothes smell nasty. I'm going to have to go back to my apartment and get something to wear."

He pushed me back until I was sitting on the bed. Then he went to closet and began digging through some boxes. Finally, he pulled one out and set it down on the bed next to me.

"I have some clothes in here that Carlos and Johnny have left over the years. Hmm this box seems to be mostly Carlos's clothes," he said.

He pulled out a pair of shorts and a tee shirt with Spiderman on it. He kept digging until he found a pair of boys' briefs that had iron man on them.

"Sorry they're kids clothes, but they should fit," he said with a shrug.

I smiled at him and said, "Whatever you say, Daddy."

The briefs were a boys' size 14. He was right. It was the size my mom bought when she wanted to save money shopping for me in the boys' section instead of the men's department. They were a little threadbare, but they were comfortable. The pants and the shirt fit me as well.

Carlos

When Papa brought Matty out of the bedroom in clothes I grew out of two years ago, it was a bit of a shock. They didn't really fit him. He was skinnier than I was so the shorts fit him around the waist, but they were a lot shorter on him than they ever were on me. And that tee-shirt kept flashing his belly button at me. Despite his thinness, he was a little taller than me even now.

We went out to breakfast to one of those family restaurants with a lot of different pancakes on the menu. Papa and I both had blueberry pancakes with bacon and sausage. Matty had a short stack of two whole grain pancakes with pecans in them and a side of two eggs over medium. He didn't finish his, so I ate the leftovers. They weren't something I would have thought of ordering, but they were good.

Papa didn't think it was funny that the waitress kept referring to me and Matty as friends. She seemed to think that we were classmates, and my papa was taking us both out to breakfast. I thought it was hilarious. Dressed the way he was, Matty did look younger than he was.

When the waitress brought our check, I said, "Papa, can you take me and Matty to the mall? We need to get some things for school?"

He was annoyed, but not angry. He knew I was teasing him like he often did me, implying that his boyfriend was still in high school. Instead of glaring at me he replied, "Sure mijo. I'll take you to the mall."

I put my hand on Matty's shoulder and led him out front of the restaurant to wait while papa settled the bill. Once outside, I started laughing.

Matty sighed and said, "You shouldn't tease him like that. I don't want him to get weirded out and stop seeing me."

"There isn't a chance of that, Matty," I replied, still laughing. "I know my papa too well. He may try to convince you that he doesn't like it, but I can tell you that he likes you dressed like that. You're different from the guys he's been with before. And he's different with you."

His face grew sad, and he asked me in a quiet voice, "I can't always tell when you're teasing. Sometimes it feels like you're trying to make him question himself about seeing me. I can't tell whether you like me or not."

I put a hand on his arm and tried to reassure him. "I like you, Matty. What's more, I think you're good for papa. He needs someone like you. He's been sad that Johnny and then I have been pulling away from him over the years. He can treat you like a kid, and you seem to like it. He doesn't get that from us anymore. It's different because he's our real papa. It lets him be daddy and boyfriend at the same time. So long as you're into it, there's no harm. But if you're not, you need to let him know now. He wouldn't dump you, but he deserves to know up front what you want from him."

"I want to be with him, no matter what," I said. "I love it when he treats me like a son. Is that too weird?"

I shook my head and said, "I don't think so. He's not really your papa, and you're not as young as you look. Would you dump him if he stopped treating you like his son?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "I want to be with him however he wants me."

Papa was coming out of the restaurant then. I smiled and called him over, pushing Matty at him gently. "He's a keeper, Papa," I said. "Esta cabeza sobre talones enamorado de ti."

I could see Matty trying to puzzle it out in his head. Papa looked at me and said, "English only when Matty's around, okay?"

I leaned over and whispered in Matty's ear, "I told him that you were head over heels in love with him."

Matty looked up at Papa and said, "It's true, sir."

Then Papa pulled Matty close to him and kissed him on the lips right there in Frontier Town where all those waiting to get into the Pancake Haus could see him. No one said anything. This part of Tucson was pretty liberal (at least in public). If anyone was thinking anything bad about my Papa, they probably thought he was robbing the cradle.

We went to the mall so I could get some new jeans. Papa had to run off and buy something at one of the anchor stores, so I could take Matty to buy some things for him. Then we went to one of those mini-golf places with all the games and other attractions. We played a round of mini golf, which Papa won. Then we went to the batting cage. Matty kept jumping back like he was afraid of getting hit by the ball. I had the highest score there. But Papa led us to victory against a group of college guys in laser tag. Matty kicked my butt on several video games, but he came in last when we were shooting hoops. (Papa came in first). We spent so long there that we didn't have time to go out to a nice place for dinner. We ate nachos and pizza instead.

We barely got home in time for Matty to get inside the apartment before Mama and Ricky came to pick me up. They asked me about my visit with Papa and I just replied that it was too short. There was no way I was going to mention Matty to them. I liked Matty and they didn't have any right to know about him and Papa.

Rick had bought me some new designer label clothes that he just knew I was going to love. I was going to put them in my bottom drawer and never wear them. I'd wear the clothes Papa had bought me today. The more he tried to win me over, the more determined I was not to let him.

Matty

Fernando noticed that I was carrying a bag when we got back to the apartment. "Did you get yourself something, cariño?" he asked.

I blushed a little and said, "Not really. I don't have any money right now, and Carlos insisted that I buy something, and he put it on your card."

Fernando gave me a big smile and said, "Don't be embarrassed. I would have said the same thing if I'd been there. Show me what I bought you."

I opened the bag and pulled out some boys' briefs with designs on them. I wasn't sure how he'd react, but I needn't have worried. He took them and looked them over with a sexy smile on his face. He said, "This was Carlos's idea wasn't it."

I nodded and he added, "I don't like my fourteen-year-old son knowing so much about my sex life, but he saw it before I did. I like you dressed like this. Are you going to model these for me, chico?"

"Yes Daddy," I said, taking the package back and opening it.

I started to go to the bedroom, but he said, "Why don't you just change right here?"

I quickly stripped to my iron man briefs. Then I turned around and lowered them slowly. When I bent over to pull them off my feet, he whistled at me, making me blush. I pulled on a pair of black underwear with different colored stars on them. I turned around and my dick was straining against the front. He called me over and ran his hands up my thighs and then used one hand to rub my butt and the other to rub my dick through the cloth.

"You must like modeling for your Daddy, chico. Your little chilito is hard," he said.

"Yes Daddy, I do," I replied with a gasp.

"No more of that. I don't want you to cum yet," he said. "Try on the others and I'll keep my hands to myself."

The briefs were tight, but they fit comfortably. The next pair was blue with little rocket ships. The third was gray with blocky little robots. The second pack had DC superhero logos. One was dark gray with the Batman logo. Another was blue with the Superman logo. And the third was red with the Flash logo. Fernando kept his word and didn't touch my chilito, but he did feel my butt in each pair.

"Now I have some gifts for you," he said, pulling out a bag and handing it to me.

The first thing I pulled out was a rubber bulb with a long neck, like those things parents use to pull snot out of a baby's nose, but it was a lot bigger. I gave Fernando a puzzled look. He smiled and said, "I'll show you how to use it later."

There was a bottle that was labeled "Neutral Saline", but the most exiting things lay at the bottom of the bag. There was another set of pajamas like the green one's I'd been wearing, but these were pink silk with light green trim. My heart almost skipped a beat.

Fernando put his arms around me and said, "Do you like them, Chico? They're not too girly for you?"

I wrapped my arms around his chest and hugged him tight. "No Daddy. I love them, and I love pink. How did you know?"

I never wore pink, even though I liked it, because my uncle and my mother said it made me look like a sissy. I thought that was bullshit. A lot of sexy, masculine guys at school wore pink. My favorite colors were pink and green. Fernando made me happy because now I knew that I could be myself around him and not be afraid that he was judging me.

Fernando kissed my head and rubbed my back. "Why would I guess that a soft little mariposa like you would like pink?" he asked. "Maybe I'm just a good guesser. Now you have two pairs of pajamas to keep here. If this keeps up, I'll have to clear out a drawer for you."

That was the best thing he could have said to me. "I don't take up a lot of space, sir," I said.

Fernando started kissing the top of my head, so I turned my face to meet his lips. His mouth devoured my lips, and his tongue seized control of my mouth. I just melted into him and let him have me. I felt relaxed in his arms. I could feel his heartbeat against my chest, and I could feel the warmth coming off his body.

"You don't think that they'll make me look girly do you, sir," I asked.

Fernando shook his head and said, "I think they make you look like the beautiful soft boy you are. Your soft boyishness makes the man in me go crazy for you."

He squeezed me tight and then let me go. "Come on," he said, "grab your clothes and bring them into the bedroom."

He grabbed the rubber bulb and led the way. In the bedroom, he opened his underwear drawer and told me to put my new underwear in with his. I was a little thrilled at the thought that our underwear would be lying next to each other in the drawer, like lovers.

Fernando said, "Tonight I want to show you something new."

He pulled out the bulb and said, "I'm going to show you how to clean yourself out so I can make love to you properly with my mouth."

Then he led me into the bathroom and filled the bulb with neutral saline solution before sitting it in a sink full of hot water. "I don't want to hurt you, so we're going to leave that there just for a few minutes," he said, "just long enough to remove any chill it may have."

He sat down on the closed toilet seat and then pulled me over his lap. I was already hard and leaking so I was afraid I was going to cum from my dick touching his hairy thigh, but he was careful not to stimulate me more than he had to. He put a dab of lube on his index finger and rubbed it gently against my hole. I gasped and said, "That feels good, sir."

"It's important to take care of your little hole. It's delicate and you can hurt it if you're not careful," he said. "Such a pretty hole. Does it want Daddy to fill it up?"

"Yes Daddy," I whined. "My hole wants you to fill it. I need it, Daddy."

He rubbed around the outside in slow circles, then put another dab of lube in the center before slowly pushing inside me. I let out a needy little groan as his finger moved past the muscle into my rectum. He played with my hold while I panted on his lap. It's like my body was a musical instrument and he knew exactly what to do to me to bring forth those whimpers, groans, squeals, and gasps. I was still feeling some pain from this morning, but I wanted him so badly that I was willing to ignore it.

"I don't want to make you come yet, Chico," he said as he pulled his finger out. "All I'm doing here is making sure that you're ready for the douche."

He put another dab of lube on the tip of the bulb and inserted it gently inside me. He squeezed it and I could feel the water streaming inside me. He rubbed my back as he slowly filled me. When he was satisfied, he said, "I'm going to take it out now, but you have to clench your pretty cheeks to keep the water inside."

Then he helped me stand. I was a little uncomfortable, but he hadn't put that much inside me. "Now this is the tricky part, Chico," he said. "If you can twerk, that would be best. If you can't, just shake your butt for a few minutes."

I was embarrassed to twerk. I thought I looked stupid the last time I'd tried it in front of a mirror. Instead, I shook my butt until I started to cramp. Meanwhile, Fernando was refilling the bulb from the bottle of saline that he's put in the hot water along with the full bulb.

"Um, I need to let it out now, Daddy," I said.

Fernando smiled at me and lifted the lid, so I could sit down. It was a relief to expel it all into the toilet bowl. Afterwards, Fernando repeated the process twice more before he was satisfied. Then he cleaned me up and led me back into the bedroom. He pushed me back onto the mattress and began undressing himself.

I stared and licked my lips, watching him reveal himself to my hungry eyes. His broad, hairy chest was light bronze with a manly swath of black hair that made me want to run my hand over it. He didn't have any excess fat that I could see. He wasn't skinny like a boy. He was thick like a man. And so was his hard cock. I'd found out how big it was when I'd put it in my mouth. And its size had been driven home, so to speak, when he'd stuck it inside me last night. It was like a thick cylinder, so wide that I had a hard time swallowing it. It was like a massive club."

"How do you say "club" in Spanish, Daddy?" I asked with a smile.

He climbed onto the bed and said, "Palo, but most guys around here would call this club a tranca."

I reached over to take hold of him. "Quiero tu tranca grande," I said, pressing myself to remember as much of my high school Spanish as I could.

He took a deep breath and then pulled my hand off his dick and brought it to his lips where he kissed my fingers gently. "Be careful, Chico," he said. "You've got me so worked up that I could blow at any moment. I want my seed deep inside you, not on your pretty hand."

Fernando moved between my legs and lifted them, pressing them against my chest. I could feel his scruffy cheeks as he kissed me gently on my hole. Then he used his tongue to tease it, moving it gently around the sphincter and pressing firmly against the center.

"This is why we clean your pretty bottom first, Chico," he said. "Does it feel good?"

"God yes!" I cried out. "It's the best feeling in the world!"

"Then take hold of your knees and keep them up, so I can concentrate on making you feel good," he said.

I grabbed my knees and pulled them back tight, exposing myself for him. I hadn't been exaggerating. The feeling of Fernando's tongue on my bottom was making me feel better than anything I'd ever experienced in my life. Before last night, I'd never had anything larger than my index finger in my butt. Since then, Fernando had put his cock inside me and now he had his tongue teasing to me to new heights of pleasure that I hadn't imagined before.

"Your sweet little culo is opening for me, Chico, just like a beautiful flower," he said. "You feel loose and relaxed, but I'm going to use plenty of lube anyway. I want to make sure that I don't hurt you. I always want it to be good for you."

I smiled at him and said, "You always make me feel good, sir."

"This doesn't hurt too bad, does it?" he asked, rubbing lube into my hole.

"No sir," I said with a grimace. "Not too bad. Ugh! It hurts a little, but I don't want you to stop."

Fernando slid two fingers inside me, working more lube inside me. I moaned and grasped his fingers with my ass. He played with my hole until he could work two fingers from each hand inside me. He kept stretching me until he was satisfied. Then he lined his cock up and pressed it into me.

My hole stretched around his thick cock, and I let out a low groan from deep in my chest. His strong hands stroked my sides and legs. My skin felt like it was on fire, and his hands left a tingling path across my body, like an electrical current trailing his fingers.

I'd been aroused for so long that I knew I wasn't going to last. Between his fingers on my skin and his cock inside me, pressing gently on my prostate with each thrust, I was panting and moaning incoherently. My dick was throbbing painfully, and if he touched me I would explode in an instant.

"Wrap your legs around my waist, Chico. I think you're light enough for me to do this while I'm inside you," he said.

I nodded and wrapped my legs around him as tight as I could. He slid his arms underneath me and said, "Now wrap your arms around my neck."

When I did, he pulled me to the edge of the bed and then stood up without letting his cock slip out of my culo. I hugged him tight, while he concentrated on sliding me up and down his cock. My cock and balls were pressed against his hairy muscular abdomen. I was panting and my thighs were twitching against him. He could tell how close I was. From the look on his face, he was just as close.

He fucked me for several minutes, occasionally slowing down to hold me still until the urgency passed, but the sensation dulled a little less each time, and the interval between pauses grew shorter and shorter. It was a losing proposition. I couldn't hold out any longer.

"Go ahead, Chico. Cum for Papi," he crooned seductively. "I don't want to cum before you do. Cum for me."

His words were more than enough to send me over the edge. I screamed in pleasure, "I'm cumming, sir! You're fucking the cum right out me!"

And he was. My shaft filled with cum and then my orgasm hit me like a hammer. I was screaming nonsense as wave after wave of intense sensation washed over me. It was like my whole body was cumming. Every muscle in my body contracted and then forcibly relaxed as I shot load after load of cum onto his chest and mine.

"Your tight little culo is milking me now, Chico. Take my seed deep inside you," he groaned, gripping me tight enough to leave red marks on my hips. "Take papi's seed inside your trasero lindo!"

He had to turn and press me against the wall to keep from dropping me. He was covered in sexy, masculine sweat. He kissed me roughly, his stubbly beard rubbing against my cheeks and lips. His mouth latched onto mine and crushed my lips, while his tongue thrust deep inside my mouth. My ass was swallowing his cum and my mouth was swallowing his saliva. His scent was on me, marking me as his and I was happier than I could ever remember being.

He walked over to the bed carrying me still impaled on his dick. He pulled gently off him and then joined me on the bed. He began to gently clean the cum off my abdomen with his mouth. He continued down to my still semi-hard dick and swallowed it whole, using his tongue to tease the last of my seed from my cock.

"I don't know which tastes better, Chico, your delicious butt or your sweet cum," he said, kissing me before lying down next to me. "Did you enjoy that?"

"Yes sir," I said, touching the cum spread across his abdomen and putting my finger in my mouth. "Should I clean you up now?"

"You should," he said. "You can go get a warm washcloth or you can do it like I did."

I knelt on the bed and licked the cum from his abdomen. It was seasoned with the saltiness of Fernando's sweat. Then I moved down to his cock. Other than the cum, it seemed clean to me, so I licked it gently. There was a taste that may have come from my ass, or perhaps from his dick itself, but it wasn't unpleasant. I couldn't fit his thick cock into my mouth, so I cleaned it with my tongue instead, licking the cum from the shaft. Then I continued licking everywhere I could taste his seed. I would probably have continued all night, but Fernando squeezed my shoulder to stop me.

"That's enough, Matty my sweet boy. Let's brush out teeth and go to sleep," he said. "I have to be at work by 7:00 and you have a class at 9:00."

He'd been my skillful and ardent lover, but now he was back to acting like a dad. Some people may have been put off by this strange dichotomy, but not me. I felt like I belonged to him, or at least belonged with him. In a scene of domesticity, we brushed our teeth side by side in the bathroom. Then we crawled under the sheets and lay side by side. My head rested in the crook of his arm and my leg wrapped around his powerful thigh. My right arm stretched across his chest and his left arm rested on my right shoulder. His right arm was under my chest with his hand resting on my hip.

He kept the air conditioning set low, but his body was warm and strong. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, and I slept peacefully.

Fernando

The first time with Matty last night was amazing, but it was the second time, just a short while ago, that had made me realized that my feelings for him were much deeper than I'd thought. He was beautiful and boyish, with a softness that many gay boys possessed, and straight boys lacked. It wasn't physical softness. What small muscles he had were firm. It was an emotional vulnerability and a gentleness of spirit that made him seem younger even than he was.

The more I thought on it, the more I realized just how perfect he was for me. His thin body was firm and lithe, but it contained a soft boy I could cuddle, protect, and even spoil a little. It was like having a girlfriend, but in the body of a guy. It was the best of all possible worlds to me. I'd never been attracted to the campy guys I met in bars, yet Matty consumed all my attention. But unlike them, he wasn't wearing his softness as a mask to help him flirt with older guys. Either he was the best actor I'd ever met, or he was still a guileless innocent. I was convinced that it was the latter.

Since he had been effectively a virgin when we met, he hadn't picked up any habits that turned me off. I had a chance to teach him the things I wanted him to know, to guide him. I wanted him to be with me, not just as an occasional hookup, but ... I was considering asking him to move in with me. This was a step I had never taken with a man, but I thought that I wanted it with Matty. I wanted him with me.

That was it, I thought. I didn't just want to have sex with Matty. I wanted to have him around all the time. I wanted us to be a couple.

Jimmy

Sunday was a terrible day. I woke up with Josh and Troy already gone. They'd left a note saying that they had homework they had to do. It was a good thing. I felt like I was sick. My head felt stuffy, and I could barely breath; my joints ached; and I had a pounding headache. My ass hurt worse than before. Instead of a shower, I took a hot bath, hoping it would ease the pain. I lay back in the water and breathed through my mouth since my sinuses were clogged.

I tried to plan the day so I could get some homework done, but I found myself drifting off in the tub. It wasn't big enough for me to be submerged, so I didn't worry too much about falling asleep. But I dreamed as I dozed.

********************

In my dream, I was sitting between two faceless men. Their hands were all over me. If it were real, I would have jumped up and punched them in their faces. But in the dream I was helpless. No, not helpless. I was participating in my own debasement. One of the faceless men stuck his hand down my shorts and rubbed my asshole. Instead of objecting, I giggled at him.

He pulled me closer and began kissing my neck. The other man pulled my shorts down and then slid them off me, so that I was naked on the couch between them. The first man had pulled his cock out and I was staring at it. I was repelled, but I was even more fascinated. My mouth started to water, and I licked my lips like a little faggot slut – like I suspected that Matty did whenever he saw cock.

The man pulled me closer to his cock. I put a hand on his chest in show of token resistance, but I let him pull me close enough that my lips were brushing the slimy head of his cock. "It's not gay to help out a friend, Jimmy," he said in a voice that was strangely familiar to me. "Don't you want to help me out?"

In my dream state, I accepted that feeble reasoning. But it was more than that. I wasn't gay. I couldn't be. It's not how I was raised. I was a real man. But if all that was true, why did I feel a need to participate in my own destruction and degradation? It was like I wanted these two men to strip me of my dignity and my self-worth. There was only one thing that could make it worse ...

My dad stood there watching me with a look of disgust on his face. "Go ahead, faggot!" he sneered. "Suck his cock like the pathetic degenerate you are!"

His words didn't stop me. I wanted him to see me actively destroying myself. I licked the head of the cock and tasted the cum. It was like and unlike my own. I licked it clean and then swallowed as much as I could get inside my mouth.

The other man was playing with my asshole. He'd gone beyond rubbing the outside. He was using his slippery fingers to work lube into my ass. My need to be degraded made me move my hips in a wanton way, like I was desperate to be fucked. It was all a pretense, wasn't it? I couldn't really want to be used that way could I? I wasn't gay. Matty was gay, but not me.

"Keep telling yourself that, faggot!" my father shouted. "You can hide try and hide it from me, but you can't hide it from yourself, you degenerate pervert! You're going to burn in hell!"

I gave up trying to pretend. I threw myself into my own downward spiral and participated fully. I slurped on the cock in my mouth, occasionally moaning around it.

"That feels great, Jimmy," the man said. "You're a good friend to help me out this way."

The man behind me said something about big meat, so I stopped sucking cock and yelled out, "Big meat!"

Then I went back to sucking cock while the man behind me pressed the head of his dick against my hole, sending shivers running though me. I wanted it inside me, and I hated myself for wanting it so bad. I knew there was something wrong with me. I was flawed and I was damned. My parents could never know, but somehow I felt that they already knew and that they despised me.

"If it's big meat you want, here it comes, Jimmy," he said. Then he pressed his cock against me. My ass felt like it was bruised already, but I needed to feel him inside me. There was resistance but the man wasn't gentle. With a pop, he pushed past all my resistances and rammed his dick inside me until his pubes were pressed against my ass.

I groaned louder around the dick in my mouth, and I tried to squeeze the other dick with my ass. Despite the pain, the cock in my ass felt good. I didn't want it to feel so good. I wanted it to punish me with the pain of its entry. I wanted it to degrade me and reveal the cocksucker hiding inside. I pushed my ass back to meet each of his thrusts and I forced myself onto the cock of the other man until I gagged. I was determined to get it all down my throat and I forced my head lower until I could feel his pubes on my lips.

The two men used me in every way imaginable and I reveled in it. They fucked me in every position, each of them taking both my ass and my mouth, and then doing it again. I didn't cum, and they wouldn't let me touch myself until they were done. Then they had me stroke myself to completion while they watched.

********************

I woke with a start and sat up in the bath. The water had been hot when I got in. Now it was room temperature. The details were fuzzy, but I'd had a nightmare where I was being raped by two men. I couldn't tell who they were, but I knew them. I wasn't gay. Why would I dream about being raped by two guys? And why was my dick hard?

I put it out of my mind and got some homework done. For the first time in weeks, I was alone. Matty was at his boyfriend's apartment. Josh had gone home to get some homework done. I didn't like the emptiness I felt. I'd been sharing a room with Matty for years. Since we came to college, I'd had friends over almost every day.

With everyone gone, I had time alone with my thoughts. I found that I didn't like it. Even in high school and middle school, I'd surrounded myself with others so that I didn't have to be alone with myself. I needed voices outside me so I couldn't hear my own thoughts. It was a long day, and an even longer night.

Johnny

Sunday was a good day. I finished up the last of my homework and then I practiced guitar until it was time to get ready to go out. The basketball team had a party that afternoon at the house of one of the coaches. It was a pool party, and several members of the team were taking their girlfriends. Alex wanted me to go with him. He'd taken me to some smaller events so our relationship wasn't exactly a secret to them, but this would be a big event. It somehow felt more official.

I shaved close and styled my hair so that it hung in stylish curls on top of my head. I even trimmed my nose hair. I used unscented aftershave balm so I could wear some Drakkar cologne. I put on a light blue tee shirt with broad stripes running across my chest in light green, pink and gold. I had a pair of white athletic shorts that showed off my legs. Underneath I wore my swim team speedo.

I was still adjusting my shorts when Alex came in and wrapped his arms around me from behind. He kissed my neck and slid a hand under the waistband of my shirt to rub my belly.

"I'll have the best-looking date at the party," he mumbled. "Everyone is going to be jealous, Johnny, especially when they see you in that speedo."

"I should have bought some board shorts for the party," I sighed. "Won't the guys think that I'm a little exposed if I'm the only one in a speedo?"

Alex smiled at me in the mirror and replied, "All the other guys will have girlfriends in sexy swimsuits. I want them to see that my boyfriend is just as hot; not just as hot, you're even hotter!"

I couldn't help but smile back at him. Before I met Alex, no one had ever been able to cuddle me properly and make me feel like a proper little bottom. I was six feet tall, but Alex was more than half a foot taller than me. I loved the way he towered over me and made me feel small. We both put our sandals on and headed out to the coach's house. Alex drove because he had a newer car than me and it had enough leg room for him.

The party was full of people, the whole team, their girlfriends, five of the coaching staff, and their wives or girlfriends, plus a few other professors, and some friends of the coaches, including some of the donors. Everyone smiled when Alex introduced me as his boyfriend. He made sure they knew that I was on the swim team and was an athlete like them.

Girls always fell all over me and today was no different. They seemed to like me even more once they found out I was gay. They pulled me aside and started dishing dirt on other girls, girls I didn't even know. I wasn't interested in their gossip, but I was fascinated by the change in the way they treated me. I didn't need to flirt with them to throw them off the scent, and I didn't have to worry that the flirting would go too far.

And when we got into the pool, the team was dressed in a variety of board shorts. All the girlfriends were wearing two-piece bathing suits. I was the only one there in a speedo. It was the one I used when swimming with the team. The girls clapped when I stripped off my clothes and jumped into the pool. Even some of the guys whistled.

It was a good experience, and I was glad that I'd come. When we got back to the house, Alex threw me on the bed and took me hard. When we were both spent, we lay together in each other's arms, luxuriating in the afterglow of orgasm. Alex was stroking my back and I was running my hands across his chest.

"You were a hit today, Johnny. I could tell that some of my teammates were jealous. They were a little too interested in watching you in the pool," he said. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"

I shook my head and replied, "Actually, it's really hot, the idea that some of those straight boys were excited looking at me."

Alex shrugged and said, "Well, statistically speaking, I may be the only gay guy on the team, but one or two others are probably bi. I just wonder if they realized it before they saw you in that speedo."

I leaned over and licked his nipple. Then I crawled on top of him so that my butt was resting on his cock. He was starting to harden again underneath me. I rubbed his strong pecs and said, "I won't let it go to my head. I don't need those guys. You're more than enough for me, Alex Xiao!"

He pulled me down so he could kiss me. We were both hard again despite having just cum. Alex pulled aside the pouch on the black jock I was wearing to bed to free my erection. Then he pushed his boxer briefs down to free his own powerful dick. We lay side by side and Alex took hold of both our cocks in his big hands and started stroking them together while we kissed.

"I never get tired of seeing, touching and smelling your body, Johnny," he said. "I love you and I don't care who knows it. I introduced you to the team, the coaches, and everyone else who was there. I'll introduce you to the whole college. I'll make out with you in the middle of the quad. I want everyone to know. I want your parents to know."

I came all over his hand and then he did the same, only a few seconds later. He scooped up the cum and sucked it into his mouth before kissing me again. Along with our saliva, we exchanged that load of mixed cum, his and mine. Then we fell back exhausted.

"When are you going to introduce me to your parents as your boyfriend?" he asked.

I sighed and said, "We will tell my papa soon, and my younger brother. Let me find a way to bring it up without sounding weird about it. He won't be freaked out by me being gay. He's at least bisexual himself. But he may have a hard time wrapping his brain around the fact that I'm a total bottom boy instead of a macho top like he is."

"Good," Alex said, giving me another kiss. "What about your mother?"

"Mama's another story," I replied. "She's not okay with Papa being gay, bi, whatever. Just give me time to think on it. She'll come around. And my sister will be supportive. I think she knows I'm gay. She's the one who always buys me cologne and fancy grooming products. I think it's her practical way of letting me know that accepts me."

We lay together and fell asleep on top of the blankets. We didn't know then that the decision would be taken out of my hands. Someone at the party had taken pictures and posted them online. It wouldn't be long before they were shared enough to show up on the wall of someone who knew my mom.