The following story is based upon my experiences as an 18-year-old crossdresser in Northern California from 2000 to 2002.
Diana's Forced Awakening
The warmth of his mouth was searing in comparison to the sting of the October night air on my skin. His grip was crushing and terrifying in its power. I was immobilized against his car while his teeth firmly clenched down at the base of my neck. It wasn't a bite meant to inflict pain. No, this bite was meant to remind me not to fight, not to move. To willingly accept what was happening to me. To submit to his unleashed desire and need to possess my body.
Smack!
The crack of his hand against my bare ass seemed to echo endlessly in frigid night air. The 3rd of such slaps within so many mins, there was no one to hear the impact of his hands on my soft skin.
I had always been proud of my ass. The envy of girls at my school. But now here in the secluded East Bay hills of San Francisco, California my body was being used to bring pleasure to a man 20 years my senior.
When he wasn't ferociously slapping my ass for his own amusement, his right hand tightened around the back of my neck pinning me down to the hood of the car. My torn stockings did little to insulate my thighs against the chill of the cold steel.
I once read that men view women as sensuous vessels to be penetrated. Vessels created to absorb and be filled with the epitome and final outcome of a man's sexual desire. To receive a man's unbridled sexual desire and passion. Women's bodies provide both release and enjoyment for men. But, tonight it was my body being used as a vessel. No this wasn't for my enjoyment. My little body was being used to provide enjoyment. My actions had spurred the attraction and desire of a man and now it was being released upon me.
All my whimpers and cries did nothing to alleviate his onslaught. Amongst the revolving echoes of my moans and outright screams, one thing became crystal clear.
This wasn't sex. This was possession.
I was never the biggest or strongest boy in school. Quite the opposite in fact. At 18, I was only 5"4 and barely 135 lbs soaking wet. I was routinely the smallest boy in every class. Most African American boys weren't as small as me, and the other boys never let me forget it. Neither did the black girls for that matter either. Gym class was the worst. For although I was always athletic that didn't stop the other boys from finding something to tease me about.
For one I am perfectly hairless, always have been. A gift from my parents. So yes, I have always had smooth, toned, hairless legs the envy of every girl. And a firm bubble butt to match. The product of years as an athlete and lots of lunges. The other boys also noticed this and constantly made an effort to point out my smooth girlish legs. Even my standing posture was ridiculed. Apparently, standing with one hand on my hip was too feminine. Needless to say, high school was unenjoyable.
But I did have one escape. I'm not sure how it started or when, but at some point, I found my mother and sister's clothes. What started as just an experiment became a ritual. Everyday, I would run home from school excited to dress up for just a few short hours before my parents arrived.
I loved wearing heels and makeup more than anything else. The scent of the makeup on my face, the feeling and taste of lipstick on my lips, the feeling of heels pushing into the arch of my feet... The way the heels forced me to walk in a more feminine graceful manner. I loved it all.
This was the year 2000 so the internet was fairly limited. AOL was the only means of internet communication. At night, while my parents were away, I would find myself dressing up and flirting with men online all night. I fantasized about feeling a man's hands on my body and their lips on my skin. I was enthralled with the idea of being a girl for a man. I was obsessed with the fantasy of a man desiring me so much he just had to possess my body. I would often fall asleep touching my body wishing I was in bed with a man.
I never shared my femininity with anyone except for one girl I dated off and on in high school. It was never serious. Shawna was far too rambunctious and wild to ever be tied down to one boy. I often envied her unchained, carefree spirit. I was too burdened by the opinions of others to live as free as she did.
Our time together was always random and unpredictable. But one Friday in October 2000, she agreed to hang out. Looking back, I can't recall what I said to finally convince her. Maybe she didn't have any other plans. Maybe she agreed out of boredom. Whatever her motivations it was clear upon my arrival that she intended to go out. Shawna always went for the more alternative, rock look. Ya know post grunge, and tonight was no different.
Shawna answered the door looking hot as usual.
A Staind rock band gray sleeveless t-shirt tucked into a pair of black high waisted denim shorts. Underneath the shorts she wore black tights covered in gray skulls, and the coolest pair of black combat boots I'd ever seen.
Her hair had been dyed blonde like 6 months before and was flat ironed bone straight.
Her makeup was dark. Shawna had long ago perfected the cat eye look with her eyeliner and tonight it was on full display.
Her lips and nails were as blood red as the red flannel tied around her waist, a throwback to 90s grunge.
Clearly though I was underdressed. In my white air force ones, blue jeans, and white t shirt, I looked like every other teenage black boy in California.
There was no mistaking the look of disapproval on her face.
"You aren't going out with me looking like that," she said.
I tried to explain but my apologies fell on deaf ears. Her father and uncle who only moments before were busy watching the game, were now fully enjoying my predicament. They laughed hysterically as Shawna played with me like a cat with a mouse. They'd probably seen Shawna reduce countless boys to stammering puddles of pubescent hormones.
Before I could even get my whit's about me, Shawna was dragging me down the hallway, up the stairs and into her bedroom. Honestly, I assumed she was going to let me borrow some of her older brother's clothes. He was a junior in college but not much taller than me. Even as she began to pull clothes out of her closet, her real intentions didn't occur to me. First a shirt, then a denim jacket. But it wasn't until I saw the black skater skirt being tossed onto the bed that I began to panic.
With a quite puzzled look on my face I said, "Hey you can't be serious. That's a skirt. I am not going out dressed like a girl. I will look ridiculous."
She was undeterred. It almost felt like this had been something she was planning for months. Or at least something she always wanted to or had tried before. Especially when she repeated the same lines I'd been telling myself when dressed up in private.
"First of all, your legs are nicer than any girls in school so you absolutely can rock the skirt. Second you are shorter than me, so even in heels you will be shorter than most guys. Plus after I am done with your makeup no one will be able to tell."
At this moment my entire body and soul went into red alert. Sure I'd dressed up as a girl before, but never gone out! Never in public!
Could I pass?
What if I get clocked as a boy?
What if someone suspects I am not really a girl?
Or worse. What if.....
What if, I actually look good?
What if a boy thinks I look good and speaks to me? What do I say?
If he flirts, do I flirt back?
I can't really do this...can I?
I don't know for how long I was silent. Shawna must've recognized I was freaking out. She placed her hands gently and reassuringly on my face.
"Hey snap out of it baby. Trust me. No one will suspect a thing. And hey who knows, you may even like it."
If only she knew. Like it? I LUV dressing as a girl. But no one knew my secret. I think deep down I was worried she would see how much I enjoyed dressing up as a girl and my little dark secret would be out. So I put on an act. I had to protest at least a little.
"No way I will like it. And makeup! No way am I wearing makeup." Pretty sure she bought it because she thought for a second and then said,
"Just put on the clothes, let me do your makeup and if you aren't blown away we don't have to go anywhere."
Reluctantly, I agreed to her demands and started putting on the outfit she had laid out for me. I could hear her uncle and dad downstairs yelling at the game so I knew we were completely alone upstairs for her to work her magic.
As I stripped out of my clothes she handed me a bra and panties first. A matching set. Calvin Klein I believe. They were amazing. I would buy 100 pairs of my own if I could. But at this moment I was playing the part of reluctant dress up doll. So I had to protest, act surprised, do something to mask my excitement...
"Wait these too?" I said this completely knowing what her response would be.
"You certainly can't wear a t-shirt and boxers now can you?"
"True, true." I said.
So I put on a good show and slid the thin nylon panties up my legs and put my arms through the matching black bra. I pretended to do it reluctantly, but in reality my excitement gave me chills.
Next I reached behind my back and snapped the bra into place like I had done hundreds of times at home. I did it with such ease even Shawna looked at me kind of puzzled. I just responded I had so much practice taking bras off, putting one on was fairly easy. She didn't say anything but the look on her face told me she wasn't buying it. Next she handed me a pair of destressed ripped stockings, garters and a garter belt.
"Why the stockings?" I thought you said my legs were SOOOO nice." I said, mockingly.
Shawna was not amused. "It's a little bit chilly out and I am looking out for you. So don't be a bitch about it Diana."
"Wait who the heck is Diana?" My voice almost cracked I was so nervous.
Shawna just giggled. "You are silly, if you are going out with me you are going to need a girl's name."
I had no idea what lay ahead for me that night, but Diana was going to be born.
After I slid the stockings up my already smooth legs, Shawna helped me secure the garter belt, and garters. She even explained why I needed to pull the garters straps under the waist band of my panties. Otherwise using the ladies' room would be quite difficult that night.
On top of the bra and panties I put on a faded, black, torn crop top and a black skater skirt. The crop top stopped about 2 inches above my belly button and the skirt fell to about 4 inches above my knees. Not terribly short but I would have to watch how I sat down. With my midsection completely bare and the torn stockings and skirt barely covering my legs. I was definitely nervous to go out showing this much skin. Shawna had covered the mirror but no doubt this was a slutty outfit.
After I was done adjusting the skirt, Shawna pulled me into the bathroom to begin working on my makeup. Much to my chagrin she immediately covered up the mirror in the bathroom and told me I will have the opportunity to check myself out later. She didn't have foundation for my complexion so she went heavy on the eyes and lips. Luckily, I hadn't started growing facial hair yet and my skin was super clear so it really wasn't a big deal. For the first 10 mins Shawna methodically glued on fake eyelashes. My eyelashes are super short naturally, so I really wasn't surprised by this. But I was surprised once she finished. Not only were the lashes noticeably heavy, but I could actually see them above my eyes. For the first time in my life I felt like I had long beautiful eyelashes.
I couldn't see what she was doing but from the colors and from what I could feel, she went heavy with a dark smokey eyeshadow, gave me a cat eye look with her eyeliner and went super heavy with the mascara. Next she grabbed a red lip pencil, red lipstick and the reddest lip gloss I had ever seen and went out about shaping and coloring my lips. Once she was done she put the lipstick and lip-gloss in the small purse she was letting me borrow and told me to touch up my lips about every 30mins or so. Even more if I was going to be drinking.
I don't know how long it took her to finish my makeup but once she was done I wanted to rip down the towel and see the true me. The girlish me. But Shawna wasn't having it.
I was yanked off the stool and pulled down the hallway to her parents' room where Shawna brought out a dark brown wig styled in a short bob cut. Once she placed it on my head I could feel the ends of the hair tickling my neck and skin under my chin. Shawna clipped it into place, applied glue to a few strategic places, fussed with the hair a bit and took a step back accessing her handy work...
"Almost there, just one last thing and you will be ready to go..."
Shawna started rummaging through her mom's closet and pulled out a pair of black zip up booties with a 5 inch heel.
"Woa woa Shawna you never said anything about heels. I thought we were going as rocker chicks. Where are the combat boots and what not!?" In reality, I didn't care about the booties. Honestly, they looked hot. But once Shawna saw I knew how to walk in heels the jig would be up. And Shawna knew it too.
She glared at me with her beautiful green eyes. "First of all we ARE rocker chicks tonight. But you are my hot ass rocker girlfriend. And when we go out my bitch wears heels. So put on the those booties. I know you want to. I bet you already know how to walk in them too. Don't you Diana."
And then she winked at me. She winked at me! Now I was the one glaring at her. But since the jig was up. What's a girl to do.
"Fuck it." I said. I grabbed the booties sat down and slid my feet into them. Did I mention I only wear a size 7.5 in boys. So yea my feet slid right into those heels. As I zipped up the booties Shawna came back into the room with the blue denim jacket, if you could even call it a jacket. It was shorter than my crop top and when I tried to pull it closed there was at least a 3inch gap. This jacket was to literally cover my arms and nothing else. For Shawna, she dawned a bad ass black leather biker jacket.
"Now you look like a hot rocker chick." She said.
"So can I finally look in the mirror?" I pleaded.
"Nope we are running late." She said almost mockingly.
Before I could protest Shawna was dragging me down the stairs. I tried to remind her we had a deal.
But as we descended the steps she kept telling me not to worry and trust her. I however wasn't having it. I kept bringing up our deal. So as we made it down stairs and I heard my heels clicking on the tile floor for the first time. Shawna said,
"Fine I will prove it. Uncle Frank, Diana and I are going to a party tonight can you give us a ride and pick us up later."
I tried to pull away or run as both men turned around, but Shawna held my hand like a vice grip. I had never officially met either man, but they had seen a boy go upstairs a couple hours prior. Now both men just stared speechless. At first I couldn't tell if they were gonna be pissed or what. But as their eyes swept up and down my body, I knew Shawna had done her work extremely well. Maybe too well. As Frank's eyes swept over my body, each time he began looking at me differently. His eyes slowly drank in the sight before him. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. Now I knew what women meant when they said a man undressed them with their eyes. I literally felt naked. Shawna snapped Uncle Frank out of his trance.
"Uncle Frank! Can we get a ride yes or no?" Frank jumped out his skin, recomposed himself, smirked a little, and said,
"Yea, sure girls. Just wait for me outside by my car."
I was definitely surprised when her uncle enthusiastically agreed to drive us.
Frank then turned and looked at Shawna's dad. I don't know what look they exchanged but I could only imagine.
Stepping out of her house was my first time ever being outside dressed as a girl. It was as terrifying and nerve wracking as everyone says it is. But it was also the most freeing moment of my life at the time. I walked in my booties as if I had been born with them on my feet. I tried to replicate every feminine mannerism I'd seen girls make my entire life. I'd never heard the sound of my own heels on the concrete. All my life I had loved the sound, but now it was mine. Emanating from my own footsteps. It was amazing, intoxicating. I was in love with the sound. I wanted to walk down the entire street just to hear the echo of my own footsteps.
But the feeling of the cold night air on my skin was a shock. I was used to wearing jeans and a long shirt or jacket. I was unprepared for the slight tingle of the night air on my legs and stomach. And even more so how the air somehow crept under my skirt and swirled around my upper thighs and butt. I quickly reached down to make sure my skirt was even still in one place. The chill of the night air was so unimpeded by my clothing I felt like I was wearing nothing at all.
That's when I realized that my entire outfit wasn't to offer protection from the elements. It was simply to show off my body. Everything was so thin, short and revealing, it was merely wrapping paper for my body. I had never felt anything like this. All of my senses were heightened. I felt alive.
Since I had just passed the dad/uncle test I was confident I wouldn't get clocked by the general public. But what about this party? What if there are people from our school? It was all I could think about as we drove to the party.
For the first five mins I just stared out the window deep in thought. Somewhere through the haze of concentration I could hear Shawna talking about all the people she hated who were going to be at this party. I thought to myself strange to be putting so much effort to go to a party where you hated everyone. I realized Shawna had the cool rebellious I don't give a fuck attitude everyone envied. Everyone wanted to be around her, be like her. But if only they knew, in reality she despised them all. She thought them all sheep. For some reason she saw something in me. Although far from consistent, she tolerated me. Even went out of her way to hang out with me from time to time. And tonight, was such a time.
Occasionally I would see her uncle looking at me in the rear-view mirror but I tried my best to ignore his stares. He must've detected my efforts to remain oblivious, because he started trying to engage Shawna and I in conversation.
"I can tell you girls put a lot of effort into your look tonight. The boys are gonna lose their shit. You two all dressed up for anyone in particular or ...."
Shawna quickly cutoff her uncle, "fuck those sheep. And you know me this is how I always dress."
"And what about you princess? You look gorgeous. But something tells me this is not how you typically dress."
Without even looking up I could tell Frank was speaking and looking at me, but I didn't have the courage to respond. Plus what could I even say. "Actually Frank I love to dress up like a hot teenage girl, its my big dark secret." Lucky for me, I didn't need to spend too much time thinking up a response. Shawna was all over that for me.
"I know she looks fucking HOT right! No Diana has always dressed a little drab, such a bore. So I said fuck that. You are hanging out with me tonight, and we are gonna show off that hot ass body of yours."
My head immediately snapped around. My mouth agape. I just stared at Shawna in disbelief.
"Well mission accomplished. You do look like a total smoke show Diana."
Holy shit did Uncle Frank just hit on me?! At first I just sat there silently, but eventually Shawna gave me a stiff elbow to the ribs and I perked right up.
I was hesitant, but I managed to look up at the rear-view mirror. Frank was intently staring at me as we waited for the light to turn green.
"Thank you, Frank. Ummm that was really sweet of you to say."
"Anytime darlin." Frank replied with that same smirk from earlier that night back at Shawna's house.
The party was in full swing upon our arrival. This was truly the test and it was one I felt extremely unprepared for. My hands were trembling uncontrollably. And the butterflies in my stomach were swirling as if caught in a tornado. How was I going to pull this off? Sure I had on a wig and makeup. But I was still me, wouldn't people immediately recognize me? True no one at this party would ever expect me to show up. I was never invited to these kinds of parties. I was an athlete but not one of the popular kids. I was more of an outsider, a loner. I would normally spend nights like these dressed up at home while my folks were out at dinner. Ironic that instead now here I am dressed up like a hot rocker chick going to a high school party.
Shawna was out of the car before we even pulled to a complete stop. She'd gone maybe 10 feet before realizing I was still sitting in the car. Frank must've noticed my nervousness because he turned around in his seat and said,
"Hey Diana, trust me. You are going to be one of the hottest girls at the party. Guaranteed. You look fine as hell. The only thing you should be worrying about is how you intend to keep all those boys off you. But if for any moment you want to get the hell outa there, just call me and I will come get you. Shawna likes to stay out all night anyway."
And with that, Uncle Frank handed me a small folded up piece paper with his number written in it.
"Thanks Uncle Frank." And then I gave him my first genuine smile of the night. And for my efforts he gave me a very sexy wink. I had always knew Uncle Frank was popular with women but now I was beginning to understand why. He had this sexy bad boy thing. He was Shawna's youngest uncle. I think like 37. He had served in the Marines, I knew that much. Plus he had multiple tats and one was some kind of Marine tattoo. I know he was married for a time, but divorced like right away. According to Shawna his ex-wife was a real bitch and a true psycho. I knew he owned his own auto shop working on muscle cars. And he took them to car shows all over the country. He was pretty successful at it too. There were always pictures of his cars featured in different car magazines and with different bimbo models all over the cars. Sometimes he even dated those bimbos. I don't mean to be cruel but a lot of them were really dumb. He never seemed to keep any of them around for too long. So I was understandably dumbfounded that twice now it appeared like Frank was flirting with me. But that would be crazy, wouldn't it?
I tried to shake the very idea of it out of my mind. And like clockwork Shawna was there to bring me back to reality.
Just as I was saying thank you to Frank, she grabbed me by the arm and yanked me out of the car.
"Get your sexy ass out her girl, I wanna party!"
I stumbled in my heels a bit as I flew out of the car slamming the door behind me. Shawna had her arm looped around mine as she pulled me up the walk-way toward the front door of the house.
The music was blasting. In my neighborhood the cops would've already shut this place down. But we were in a much sketchier part of town. In fact, I was lucky Frank offered me a ride home, because even looking like a boy I wouldn't want to be alone in this neighborhood. Let alone dressed like a slutty rocker chick.
There were a couple people hanging out front on the porch. Two smoking weed and drinking. The other two, some boy and girl from school making out like crazy. As Shawna and I walked by I remembered how many nights alone I spent dressed up wishing I had a boy to make out with. Wishing that boys found me that attractive.
I was relieved, however, because none of the four people on the porch paid Shawna and I much attention. We walked into the house and I was amazed by the number of people squeezed into the tiny home. I also realized all my fears of being clocked were completely overblown. The entire place was dark except for a couple lamps and fully packed with people. There were a few people I recognized but many more I didn't. In fact I could swear some of these people were in college.
It was then that Franks words struck me like a brick. "The only thing you should be worrying about is how you intend to keep all those boys off you."
Holy crap what if a college boy thinks I'm attractive. What if one hits on me? I am screwed! He will immediately out me as a boy. And then what?.....
I was freaking out, but Shawna just dragged me through the thrall of people straight to the kitchen. From what I could tell it was the only illuminated room in the house. Unlike the rest of the home the kitchen was fairly empty. A few people mingled while 3 boys who looked to be about 21 worked the keg and served fruit punch from this huge cooler. Shawna pulled me straight to the alcohol of course.
As Shawna and I walked up to the fruit punch the 3 boys looked at us with the same hunger I'd seen from Frank earlier that evening. It was a look of surprise, but also primal lust. Like a wolf seeing a lamb alone in field. It was intense! It scared me a little. I still was unaccustomed to men looking at me in such a way, and also so far that night all of these boys had been white guys including uncle Frank. I didn't know this many white boys liked black girls! Do white guys specifically find me attractive? The thought excited me...
But as I took in their looks I also noticed a strange tingle. It was a spark of excitement, of arousal. And I was beginning to like it. Is this a look women always get from interested men? If so I could really get used to this!
The smile on the boy handing me a cup of fruit punch said it all. However I was looking that evening he liked it! He was about 6ft tall with light brown hair and deep brown eyes. He definitely had that all American, I play college baseball look. He was super cute. In my head I was thinking I would love to be his girlfriend. In reality I was super shy.
I was suddenly extremely aware of my outfit. Legs for days, torn stockings, heels, makeup on point, no wonder he was smiling like a fat kid with a slice of cake. I was a slice of chocolate cake! And before I even realized it, I was grabbing the cup and smiling back at him. Our eyes locked and we just smiled at each other for what seemed like eternity. And then it occurred to me. Holy crap I was flirting!
Shawna was not amused. She firmly smacked my ass as she said she wanted to go dance. Once again we wove our way through the crowds of drunken teenagers. I tried my best to sip my punch along the way. It was delicious. Strong, but delicious. Like 90% vodka and probably whatever other liquor they could find and 10% fruit punch. We slowly made our way to the middle of the living room. I guess Shawna felt that was the best place to dance. I felt a little claustrophobic honestly. And in booties I really wasn't sure how Shawna expected me to dance. These heels were for sitting not for walking. Let alone dancing. But Shawna seemed oblivious to my situation. Over the blaring music I tried to tell her, that I didn't know how to dance like a girl let alone in heels. But she was undeterred.
"Ugghhh don't be a buzz kill, the heels aren't even that high, just do what other girls do," she snapped back.
I was stunned. And a little hurt. She turned around and began swaying and dancing without a care in the world. I hesitantly looked around, before I found a few girls to imitate. I tried my best to mimic their moves while fighting to balance in 5 inch heels.
Maybe it was the punch or maybe I was truly becoming Diana, but eventually I closed my eyes and danced like I was the only girl in the room. My movements felt effortless, natural. My heels felt like an extension of my legs. Every once in a while I felt a pinch or hand grab my ass. I know I should've felt violated but I didn't. I felt validated! Someone, maybe even multiple someone's thought I was hot. So hot in fact they wanted to touch me for just the briefest moment. Honestly, I loved it. And I smiled like the happiest girl in the world. Tonight I was a girl. And so far everyone was seeing me and treating me like a beautiful sexy girl. What more could I ask for?
I'm not sure how long I danced alone in my trance. Just swaying and moving to the beat in my own little world. But at some point maybe on like song 3 or 4, I felt someone behind me. I could feel their hands on my hips and their chest against my back. It was definitely a boy because I could smell his cologne. But I could also feel his pants rubbing against the back of my skirt. Did I expect this? Heck no. But the last thing I wanted to do was freak out and out myself. So I tried to keep my composure and go with it.
As the song changed, so did my dancing. I watched the other girls and tried to keep moving my hips to the beat of the song. Needless to say I think me and this unnamed boy were fast approaching grinding territory. It didn't take long however for Shawna to see me and once again she was PISSED. She immediately grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me away from my stranger. It actually kind of hurt a little.
"Shawna what's wrong. And ouch can you let go of my wrist?" She let go but she was fuming.
"What the hell are you doing out there dry humping some dude like a little slut? You are supposed to be dancing with me."
I was stunned. I didn't know what to say, other than...
"Shawna I thought I was dancing with you. I didn't even see that guy. I was just dancing and wham there he was. I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you."
"It's ok Diana. I know you aren't used to looking so hot. Just remember you are my bitch."
For a moment I could finally breath again. That last thing I wanted was to upset Shawna.
"Thank you Shawna. And just to make sure no more guys try to dance with me, I am gonna go sit on the couch alone and watch you dance!"
This seemed to please her. Shawna gave me that wicked sexy smile of hers and said, "Ok baby."
Finally breathing a sigh of relief I went for closest couch in eye shot of Shawna.
For the first few mins I just watched her dance in front of me. She danced like the only woman in the room. This was Shawna's world. We were all just permitted to visit for a while.
I analyzed her movements, her mannerisms. I was determined to one day be able to dance that well. I must've been in a vodka induced fog because I never really noticed punch boy, sit down next to me. I kept hearing this faint what's your name? Hey what's your name? Before I snapped out of it and realized someone was actually speaking to me!
Startled. I turned my head and was only inches from his face. Staring into the endless depths of his gorgeous brown eyes. He was the cutest white boy ever! And I had butterflies in my stomach doing back flips. Seriously. I just smiled and stared at him.
"What's your name?" He asked again with the most adorable smile.
"It's...it's Diana." I managed to squeak out.
"Love that name! I'm Michael," he said. "But everyone just calls me Mick."
Seriously, Mick. Like how sexy is that. The first boy to flirt with me and his name is Mick. Immediately, I starting thinking how hot our names would sound together. Diana and Michael. Di and Mick. I bet our babies would be gorgeous too!
"Well nice to meet you...Mick."
I felt his hand gently caress my shoulder. I never even noticed him put his arm around me. But I really liked it.
As he let his hand rest on my shoulder he said, "It's a good to officially meet you too. I was really enjoying our dance just now. I guess your friend didn't really approve. But I could've danced with you all night."
So this was my mystery dance partner! No wonder we danced so well together, it was fate. And of course he enjoyed our dance, I was grinding on his dick, I thought to myself.
"Yea Shawna can get kind of possessive. She's just really protective of me. She is amazing though. I wish I could be more like her."
At some point during this brief conversation I subconsciously crossed my legs and was now completely facing Mick on the couch. I know this because I suddenly felt his hand on my leg. It felt warm and reassuring. It sent and electric charge through my body. I once again felt the familiar feeling of excitement and arousal. I didn't want this boy's hand to ever leave my leg.
"She is too wild. I prefer a girl like you. Sweet with a beautiful smile," Mick said.
At hearing those words I just melted. In my mind I was already asking Mick if I could have his babies. I was swooning!
And perhaps to my own detriment because if I'd been more aware I would've noticed Shawna storming our way. But unfortunately, it wasn't until she called me a fucking slut that I knew I was really in trouble. I jumped up and tried to explain but I couldn't get a word in. The music drowned out most of what she said but I was able to pick up a few key words.
"Bitch, such a slut, you are on your own, find your own way home."
Annnndddd then she was gone.
I was on my own, in a strange party, dressed like the hottest rocker chick in town. It didn't take long for panic to set in. Mick came up to me and asked if I was alright. All I could think to do was reach out for my only lifeline. Uncle Frank. And that was probably mistake number 3 of the night.
Mick helped me find a phone. And in-between my sobs I explained the whole messed up situation to Frank. Luckily, he was at a bar down the street and would be there in 20 mins.
Mick being the sweetest guy on Earth, brought me another cup a punch and offered to wait with me outside, but by this point I just wanted to be left alone. Plus who was I kidding. At some point I'd have to tell this cute guy I am also really a guy and then he would want nothing to do with me. So I figured I would just cut my losses.
I was just finishing my cup of punch when Frank pulled up. And not a moment too soon because I was definitely well beyond buzzed at this point. I stumbled up to the car door, all elegance gone by this point. I briefly saw in my reflection in the car window, my mascara had ran down my cheeks. Obviously, the outcome of my crying earlier that night.
As I slid into Frank's car he could tell I was having a rough night. I reached up to the visor and opened the mirror. For the first time that night I could see what everyone else had been seeing. There was no boy at all. There was a beautiful girl with soft brown eyes. Sure my lips were red but they looked full and beautiful tonight. The type of lips that begged to be kissed. Even with the streaks of black mascara along my cheeks, I still looked gorgeous. I reached into my purse and began to touch up my lipstick as Frank pulled away. I expertly repaired my makeup like I had done a hundred times before. But this time was different. As I stared in the mirror I began to shake. Seeing myself as this beautiful girl, all the events of the night, the alcohol. All of it was too much. And once again I began to sob uncontrollably.
Frank tried to comfort me the best he could. He asked about Shawna and the party. I told him the whole ordeal, everything that happened at the party. At some point he handed me a bottle of what I think was Tequila. I continued to sip on it in-between telling him my story. I told him about Shawna, and Michael. He asked if I liked him and I told him Michael was wonderful. I told him how much I loved being a girl and wearing skirts and heels and makeup. He said I looked like I was born to be a girl and that made me cry even more.
I am not sure how long we drove, but slowly the lights of the city faded away. By the time the car came to a stop I was 100% drunk. Bouncing back and forth between laughing hysterically at my own jokes and sobbing like a baby.
I was staring out of the window into the black abyss of the night when I heard Frank saying something about how sexy I am and how he knows what I need to feel better.
He left the head lights on and came around to my side of the car and opened the door. He helped me out of the car and I began to finally take stock of our location. We were deep in the Oakland Hills. I could see out over the entire San Francisco Bay. I was about to ask what we were doing out here, but before I could, I felt Frank's lips press against mine. Frank pushed my body up against the car as his lips and tongue explored my mouth. His strength was incredible. I couldn't move. His knee was pinned between my legs as his arms wrapped around me like a snake constricting its prey.
For a second I was terrified. But as Frank's tongue sought out my tongue, my resistance faded. I opened my mouth and began to lick and suck on Frank's tongue like I wish every girl I had dated had done for me. I place my wrist upon his shoulders and interlocked my fingers to give Frank full access to my body. And he didn't disappoint.
As one arm wrapped around my body, Frank's other hand went up my skirt, grabbing and squeezing the flesh of my ass. Frank used his body to keep me pressed against the car while his hands, squeezing my ass, pulling me into his body. I immediately felt what seemed like a steel pole jamming into my stomach. It suddenly clicked that Frank's cock was rock hard. And huge. Much bigger than mine could ever be. And it made sense. At 6"3 Frank was still 5inches taller than me, even with my heels on.
At that moment. As I stood there making out with this man's man. For the first time in my life I was glad to be short. Maybe this was the reason I was born so much shorter than the other boys.
Maybe I was destined to be a beautiful, pretty girl for hot masculine men like Frank!
At 5"4 I would be the perfect height for a gorgeous trophy wife!
The thought of being a trophy wife made my legs go limp. Luckily, I was trapped in Frank's embrace. His lips and hands explored my entire body. His lips sucked and bit every inch of my neck. He bit and sucked on two spots for so long I knew he'd left a hickie. Honestly, he was so aggressive, he scared me at times. Whenever I tried to bring my arms down he would force them back up and warn me not to move them again.
My skirt had been yanked up around my waist, my jacket thrown to the dirt and my shirt and bra pushed up over my chest. I didn't have any real breasts but that didn't stop Frank from biting and viciously pinching my nipples.
My drunken stupor had started to fade because I suddenly became very aware of my surroundings. I scanned the entire area, convinced someone would see us. But Frank was unconcerned. I thought the making out was a little rough for my taste, but nothing prepared me for the moment Frank slipped his finger between my cheeks.
I quickly put my hands on his chest to push him away.
"Woa woa wait a second Frank, what are you doing. Don't do that," I yelled.
In response Franked grabbed both my wrists in his large hands, and this time shoved his finger deep inside me.
Gawd it hurt. I instinctively screamed.
"Owwwwww fuck, Frank please don't do that. It really hurts," I said.
Frank was unperturbed. He kissed and nibbled my neck.
"Yea baby your pussy is real tight. But don't worry I am gonna loosen you up just right for daddy."
With that Frank spun me and dragged me over to the hood of his car. He shoved my head down to the hood and held me there as he yanked my panties down to my thighs. I fought to push myself back up but he was too powerful. I could hear him undoing his belt and fiddling with something but I couldn't tell what. Panic was setting in. I knew I only had moments to escape. With all my might I pushed up with my arms and screamed as loud as I could.
Frank must've anticipated my plan because as soon as I began to scream he shoved one then two fingers into my ass. Except this time there was no resistant. His fingers slipped into me with ease. It's then I realized what Frank had been fiddling with. He had brought lube. He planned this...
My attempted scream had quickly turned into a yelp. After Frank shoved three of his lube soaked fingers into my ass he quickly pulled them out and I felt him place the head of his bare cock against my opening. I begged him to stop. I pleaded with him to at least put on a condom if he was going to rape me.
But his answer was the most defeating thing to happen that night.
"Oh no baby, I been planning on breeding you and cumming into this tight ass all night. Ever since I saw you walk down those stairs I knew what you needed. You need to have all that fake boy nonsense fucked right out of you. You need to be fucked until you realize you are a real girl. And real girls need cock baby. You need a real man's cock in this tight ass and you need to be filled with so much cum you will never forget your body was made to milk cock."
With that Frank shoved his cock into my ass.
I've never felt such pain. It felt like a stabbing, searing pain. Something way too big was forcing itself inside of me through my most intimate orifice. I tried to scream but I couldn't breathe. It took all my concentration to even stay conscious. I just knew if Frank kept pushing I would either die or be ripped apart. I was hoping my ass would provide more resistance, but Frank had used so much lube it only took 3 pushes to get his entire cock inside of me.
As I felt the hair of his thighs pressed against my bare ass, I honestly felt relieved. I had taken all of his cock and I hadn't died from the experience. I don't know how big Frank's cock was, but it felt like a baseball bat. It felt like he was in my stomach. Moving my intestines around to accommodate his cock. My tender virgin hole was gripping his cock like a vice and it hurt like hell. All I wanted was for him to pull out. Before I could even offer a plea, he slowly began to withdraw his steel rod.
I was given the briefest moments reprieve. One second at the most, where the fullness dissipated. He pulled out just to the point where the mushroom head of his cock was the only part still left inside of me. A mere second passed before he shoved it fully back into me, knocking the wind out of me once again.
He repeated this procedure over... and over again. Slowly...methodically....
Like he was keeping pace with some internal metronome. Pulling out and shoving into me in one fell swoop every second on the second.
Every once in a while my assaulter what utter "mmmm fuck that's tight" or "yea that's right baby grip daddies cock".
I gritted my teeth, I yelled curses, I even growled and whimpered, but he kept pace. It was horrible, but slowly the pain subsided. My ass slowly began to accept the girth of my intruder. I no longer needed to scream and curse. Now I just growled in between labored breaths.
I don't know how long he kept up this pace. For me it felt like an eternity. But just as suddenly as it began he stopped. I was foolish even to think, maybe just possibly he had cum and this whole ordeal was over. I felt him fidgeting some more and I truly believed maybe this was it. But then I felt his slick hand grab my hips once again. He had added more lube to his cock. Before I could fully process the terror he slammed his cock back into me again. This time with much more force.
The impact knocked me completely face first onto the hood. Frank took the opportunity to pin me down by my neck in this position. Now the true fucking was beginning. As Frank's right hand gripped the back of my neck, his left hand was locked onto my hips pressing me against the car.
"Mmmmpppffff...."
"Fuck....hell yea baby"
Is all I could hear from Frank as he built up an incredible speed, ramming his cock into me like a piston. Whereas before my ass would grip his cock in-between his slow powerful strokes, now my insides were just being pounded into submission. I felt any and all resistance melt away. Now only acceptance remained.
It was truly visceral. I could feel my ass and body give in and accept his cock. I knew it was pointless to fight. I accepted my fate. I no longer struggled to push myself up, I laid down on the hood and accepted my fate.
Frank noticing the change said, "that's right baby. Take that cock like a good girl."
A "uummmpppfff" and moan was all I could utter.
Frank released his grips on my body and grabbed my wrists pinning them on my lower back. I was so much smaller than him that he only needed one hand to hold my wrists down and pin them to my back. I didn't fight any of it. I had already submitted to his cock. Mind, body, and spirit.
What I didn't expect was for my submission and acceptance to give my body permission to truly assess everything I was feeling. The pain slowly morphed into a hot burning sensation. The burning transformed into a warmth that began to spread from my ass throughout my entire body. Every time he slammed his cock into me the warmth intensified. Every time he pulled out it felt like well, please excuse my French but the best shit of your life. Over and over again.
It didn't take long for me to really start to enjoy this. I had never felt such sensations, such pleasure. And it just kept building.
Now my moans were no longer sounds of pain, but the echoes of extreme pleasure.
Gawd it felt good. Like unbelievably, incredibly good.
Here I was, 18 years old, a senior in high school, a straight boy as far as I could tell. Laying here, dressed like the hottest slut in school, bent over the hood of a car, while some man fucked me. And gawd it felt amazing.
I noticed with each thrust of Frank's cock, if I tilted my pelvis just right I could feel this feeling like having to pee, but different. I didn't know what it was but I knew I wanted his cock to hit that spot as often as possible.
I began to shift my hips and push back against Frank's cock.
"Mmmmpppfff, fuck, right there...", I kept repeating to Frank.
"Yes, right there, right there...yes!"
I couldn't believe it but I was getting close, close to freaking having an orgasm. Looking back I am astounded. But there in the moment, I just wanted to cum. It felt like I was building to one hell of an orgasm and I wanted it no matter what.
I began to perfectly meet Frank's thrusts, but right when I needed it most, Frank held back. I tried to push my hips back but Frank held me in place and left only the head of his cock inside me. Panic set in.
Gawd I was so close. I needed this!
I turned my head around to look at Frank for this first time since this fucking had begun.
Breathing in and out..."What's wrong?...Why did you stop?"
Frank smiled and replied, "Oh...were you enjoying that? "
"Yes! Please keep going," I pleaded.
"You said I was raping you when we first started. You can't rape the willing Diana."
"Were you about to cum baby?" he said with a wicked grin.
I was exacerbated, "Yes! So please, please keep going!".
"If you want to cum baby all you need to do is ask..."
"What....?" I whispered.
"If you want me to make you cum Diana, then you need to ask me. Ask me...nicely."
I knew what Frank was getting at. If I asked him to keep fucking me, to fuck me until I orgasmed like any girl who loves cock. Then this wasn't rape. And I was admitting to him that I really was a cock loving girl.
Completely dejected, I lowered my head and said, "Frank...can you please keep fucking me and make me cum?"
Frank smiled triumphantly, "of course baby. I am gonna make you cum all over this dick."
Frank grabbed my hips and slowly pulled me back and pushed my hips down. My ass was slightly lower than his cock now and because of the height difference his cock was angled down into my willing body.
As soon as he slid his steel cock back inside of me the first thrust hit my spot dead on.
Waves of pleasure shot throughout my body. I almost collapsed under the sudden surge of pleasure.
Frank held me in place and started hammering my spot relentlessly.
"Fuuuuccckkkk!" Was the only word I could eek out. The rest was all incoherent moans and groans.
If this was being a woman. If this was being fucked by a man. I wanted it. I wanted it all. I'd had sex with women before but it paled in comparison to this. This was ecstasy.
The sensory feeling of needing to pee was now constant. Every sense in my body was now 100% focused on the cock in my ass and my building orgasm.
Finally, the damn broke. And the feeling and need to pee gave way to the most intense orgasm of my life. I screamed. I screamed the true first girl scream of my life. The orgasm spread throughout my body like a title wave. It ravaged my body. It took possession of me. I was lost to time and space while this orgasm caressed every cell in my body.
My little dick (lets just call it a little clit) leaked and spurt over and over into my panties. It was endless. Every thrust of his cock caused my little clit to ooze. I swear he fucked every bit of my little sissy juices out of my body. Any little masculinity I had left was now completely fucked out of my body.
My panties were soaked, I could feel it. And somehow...somehow my ass had clinched around Frank's cock. Now that my body had felt true pleasure it never wanted his cock to leave.
I was exhausted. Spent. My sweat-soaked body began to collapse. Frank effortlessly picked me up and placed my back on the hood of the car. He quickly put my ankles on his shoulders and pulled my ass forward so I was hanging over the edge of the car.
He grabbed my thighs with one arm and with the other positioned his cock at my awaiting hole.
"Damn you are fucking sexy", he growled.
He pushed his cock back inside of me with ease. My ass more than slick with a combination of lube, our sweat and the juices of my own orgasm now leaking into my hole.
Now Frank was fucking my own cum into my willing body.
Frank took to fucking me with earnest. He had given me my first true orgasm as a girl and now it was his turn. Now my body truly was for only one purpose. To make his cock cum inside me.
And you know what? I wanted it.
Something primal took over. Feeling his cock explode inside of me was my purpose now.
I stared up at my heels shaking by Frank's head as he rapidly fucked me. The waves of pleasure continued to reverberate across my body. It was like a low endless orgasm.
I caressed his stomach with my hands. His abs glistened with sweat and rippled with each thrust. Fuck he was sexy. Like the abs of a Greek god. As I looked at my hands against his skin I wished I had long pink nails to scratch and caress his stomach with.
"Gawd you are fucking hot Frank, and Gawd I love your cock." I yelled.
"Thank you baby, and I knew you would love cock once you got some." Frank replied.
As I continued to express my love for Frank's cock I noticed a change in pace. Frank liked when I talked like that.
I needed his cum....so I decided to lay it on thick!
"Oh I fucking love your cock."
"I need your cock."
"You were right, I am a girl."
"You knew it when you saw me, this body was made to take cock."
"If being a girl means I get to be fucked like this constantly, then I never want to be a boy again."
"Please fuck the boy out of me Frank."
"Promise you will never let me pretend to be a boy again."
"Promise you will stuff your cock into me whenever you see me."
Frank was loving this. He was pounding me for all I was worth. I was surprised my little body could even take this, but my hole loved it, my body needed it.
"Every chance I get baby, you are Diana forever now." He replied.
"Yes! Thank you Frank. Keep me as Diana forever."
"I want to be your slut."
"I want to be your sexy, slut Diana."
"Taking your cock in all of my holes whenever and anywhere you want."
"I need your cock. I need your cum in me Uncle Frank."
"Breed me Frank, impregnate my little body the way a girl's body is meant to be."
Frank's pace accelerated. He gripped my thighs, and yelled like a caveman conquering his mate.
I felt his cock twitch one, two, three...five times. The intensity of the warmth I could feel inside my body was indescribable. I could feel his cum coating my insides, being absorbed by my body like a true woman.
After years of fantasizing, it finally happened. I received a man's cum into my body. I became the vessel for Franks cum. And it was delicious.
As Frank pulled out his cock, I closed my eyes and laid in the fetal position on the hood of his car reveling in the luxurious validation of my femininity. There was no question now. This was the purpose of my body. To be the recipient and vessel for a man's cum. I had proven myself woman enough, feminine enough, sexy enough to arouse a man into cumming in my body like any other woman.
For the first time in my life, I was alive.
On this night Diana was born.
Stay tuned for what comes next.
I hope you enjoyed the story. If you have any questions or comments please email me at user19830802@yahoo.com.