"Reality of a Guardian Angel" By: Phantom Writer
Legal Stuff: This material is not meant to be read by anyone under 18. If you're offended by literature with homosexual themes, step off! If not, read on. This is a work of FICTION. Therefore, the author makes no claims as to the sexual orientation of any member of *N Sync.
Side Note: This is the final part of "Reality..." For those just starting to read this story, please read the previous installments of "Dream of a Guardian Angel" and "Reality of a Guardian Angel." For those who have followed this story from the beginning, you all know I said that the story must some day come to an end. Read this installment not as an ending to the story, but as a completion to the dream from which this all came: the Dream of a Guardian Angel. As always, for anyone who would like to send comments or suggestions, please do so. (phantomwriter73@hotmail.com)
Special Thanks: Thanks to everyone for reading this story.
Previously...from "Reality of a Guardian Angel: Love Finds a Way."
After the afternoon faded into dark, Lance took everyone to their pads to pick up a few things. While the guys would be back in Orlando for some time, they would still be making appearances right up until the tour started in May. The weeks passed and I went to work on ironing out the logistical wrinkles any tour of the magnitude of 'No Strings Attached' would encounter.
My life was complete and I had not only the love of my life, but I had my guardian angels. Lance and the guys had found a way to keep me happy, and help me try to forget the pain of the past.
And now, "Reality of a Guardian Angel: Reality's End."
The tour came faster than I had expected. I tend to lose track of time when I'm busy, and busy I was. The tour had offered additional dates in cities all across the country and I was having to make sure the right things and people got to the right place at the right time and did the right things once they got there. I was in heaven. Not only could I be close to the guys and Lance without any speculation, I was keeping busy. At nearly 27, I was too young to just sit around and do nothing!
Once we hit the road, life took on a new meaning. 'Busy' was thrown out of the window, and 'Hectic' took its place. Even with the hectic schedule and the amount of work I had each day, Lance and I always found a moment to be together and keep the fires of passion roaring. Even though the tour started with four shows back to back, the guys seemed to take it all in stride.
We arrived in Atlanta and checked into the hotel. That was oh not so fun. The fans had found out where we were staying and the mob was enormous. Even with hotel security and the tour security, the guys were nearly overwhelmed by the crowd. It was the first time I saw the guys get shaken up a bit. We entered the suites and I followed Chris to his room. He seemed the most shaken, for some reason.
"Jesus! I'm so tired of being mauled and screamed at! I love the fans, but give us a little respect!" Chris was pissed off and not too pleased with being held captive in the hotel by the fans.
"CK, come here for a sec." I walked over to the couch and sat down.
"What's up?" Chris asked.
"I just wanted to let you know that it's only gonna get worse, I'm afraid. See, you're just so damn HOT and get ME and everyone else so turned on, anyone, male or female, would be a FOOL not to want to maul that cute body of yours!" I kept my face as serious as I possibly could.
"Huh?" Chris was totally and completely caught off guard. But seconds after I finished speaking, he started smiling, and then giggling.
"GOOD! There for a second, I thought Red was washin' off on ya! Glad you caught on!" I started laughing as Joey entered the room.
"What's so funny?" Joey smiled at us both as he set down his suitcase. Obviously, Joey had NO intention of keeping his stuff in his 'assigned' room.
"Oh, nothin'. Jase just came on to me to make me get over being pissed about the whole crazy fan thang outside the hotel." Chris and I continued laughing, but Joey looked shocked.
"Jase, you hit on Chris?" I couldn't tell if Joey was offended, or just confused.
"Well Red, it was a hell of a lot more innocent than when I pulled the under-the-table prank on your ass back in Orlando, so chill!" Chris and I both fell on the floor laughing when Joey blushed as red as his hair.
"Hey, there you are! I was wonderin' where you'd gotten off to." Lance walked over and kissed me after he sat down beside me.
"Oh, I was just cheerin' up a Gloomy Gus when Red decided to get all confused and flustered about me comin' on to Chris!"
"You did what?" Lance just looked at me with big eyes.
"Scoop, chill! Jase was just razzin' me a bit to get me over my pissy mood about being held captive in our rooms by the fans outside. You know how he gets, the big tease!" Chris started chuckling, as did Joey. Lance just started to pout.
"Oh damn, Chris, let's get out of here. I love ya Scoop, but I don't wanna watch Jase give you head!" Joey and Chris started to leave, but I stopped them.
"Y'all don't have to leave. I think this 'pout' may take a little more than a blow job to fix, and I would feel bad kickin' y'all out of your room!" I pulled Lance up from the couch and we both quickly walked across the hall and put the 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign on the door.
Well, as life always has its moments of unexpected events, Lance and I had our event coming. Since Justin and JC's suite adjoined ours, they could enter at will if the connecting door in the living area wasn't shut. Needless to say, in our moment of passion, neither Lance nor I remembered to shut the door. So what do you think would happen!
"Hey guys! What do y'all want..." JC had walked in right when I came in Lance, and Lance was shooting his cum across my chest as he rode my cock. Lance was so overwhelmed in ecstasy, he never knew JC was standing in the doorway to our room. I, on the other hand, just fell out laughing.
"And I thought JUSTIN was the one wantin' to see some skin!" As I spoke, Lance came to the realization that JC had witnessed our orgasmic reverie, and damn near passed out. That's when we all heard Justin run into the living area and come to the doorway behind JC, who was still in shock.
"DAMN IT TO HELL! JC, why didn't you tell me they were fuckin' in here! I could have seen it ALL! Shit!" Justin hadn't realized that what he was saying was true.
Justin pushed past JC and nearly fell over from shock. Lance and I weren't shy at all, and didn't even make an effort to cover up. Hell, I was still inside Lance as he straddled my hips! JC and Justin both just stood there, not believing they were standing there with me in Lance's ass, and Lance's cum all over my chest.
"Justin, if you and JC wanted to play, you could've let us known before we started. We would've waited!" I couldn't help myself. JC and Justin were so shocked, you would have thought they had never had sex or seen another naked man's body before.
"We...are...SO...sorry!" JC grabbed Justin's arms and pulled him out of the bedroom. Lance looked at me in a daze and grinned oddly.
"That's a first, and hopefully the last!" Lance rolled off of me and started giggling quietly, then louder, and then started laughing so hard, he couldn't even breath! I joined him.
Lance and I showered and went to Joey and Chris's room to order room service. We arrived before JC and Justin had come over, so Joey and Chris sat around and chatted with Lance and me about nothing in particular. When JC and Justin arrived, Lance was slightly embarrassed. What was so funny was the fact that JC and Justin were both blushing so badly, even Joey caught on!
"Damn, Curly. What's up with the red face?" Joey started grinning at Justin.
"What do you mean? I...I just had to rush to get over here and I'm a little flushed." Justin didn't look anyone in the eye as he moved over to a chair.
"Yah, and I'm Dorothy, and this is Toto!" Lance and I started laughing as both JC and Justin began to blush even more. Joey and Chris didn't have a clue.
"Jase, what's up with them?" Chris whispered in my direction.
"CK, you wanna know, you're gonna have to ask JC and Justin yourself!" I grinned and whispered in Lance's ear. We both grinned evilly and noticed everyone in the room was now looking at us.
"What?" Lance said to JC, Justin, Joey and Chris.
"Oh shit. They're up to somethin' and it ain't gonna be nice!" Joey just flopped on the bed and started to pout at being left in the dark, yet again.
"Is that a pout I see over there Red?" I said this and started to get up slowly.
"A pout? A POUT! NO, I'm fine. I...I'm just a little tired, that's all." Joey smiled widely, putting on a little drama.
"Good. We all know what happens when someone pouts around Jase, don't we JC and Justin!" Lance could hardly keep a straight face as both JC and Justin realized what we were referring to.
"Yah." Justin and JC said, not looking over at anyone.
"Damn it! Why are Joey and I always left in the dark? What's with you two?
You look like you've seen...Oh...My...God!" Chris was starting to get pissed at the way JC and Justin were acting and the fact that Joey and he were in the dark on something good enough to make JC and Justin blush like virgins after their first time.
"What?" Justin asked after Chris stopped talking and started smiling. Chris leaned over to Joey, whispered in his ear, and both fell out laughing!
"WHAT?" JC was the one asking this time.
"Well, if what I think happened really did, I'd say Mr. 'Let me see some skin' got his wish!" Chris fell out laughing, as did Joey, Lance and I. JC and Justin just blushed furiously, but soon they started laughing as well.
"Oh, you should have seen Lance! He was..." Joey cut Justin off.
"I DON'T wanna hear the details, you pervert!" Joey started laughing, but was soon clobbered with a pillow. Before you knew it, everyone, except for me, was involved in a pillow fight. I stood up, went to the phone, and ordered room service while the guys kept trying to one-up each other.
Soon enough, the guys tired of their pillow fight and settled down. We all chatted about the upcoming venues and general tour stuff until the food came. I went to the door, tipped the young man, and pushed two food carts into the living area of Chris and Joey's suite. I walked over to Lance and whispered something in his ear. He grinned and we both walked up behind Joey and Chris. I rubbed up on Chris while Lance rubbed up on Joey.
"Guys, we'll never leave you in the dark again. If you like it kinky, we can leave the lights ON!" Lance and I fell out laughing as did JC and Justin. Joey and Chris turned around to face everyone with expressions of shock. Then, Joey started grinnin', and then Chris.
"That's cool. Besides, we like it with the lights ON!" Chris stated flatly.
"Well lookey there. Chris has gone off and gotten bit by the smart-ass bug!
Welcome to the club!" I started giggling as everyone fixed their plate and continued eating.
That evening, we all stayed in and watched a movie in Lance's suite. Lance and I fell asleep almost immediately. JC, Justin, Joey and Chris watched the movie and covered Lance and me with a blanket before they left to go back to their own rooms once the movie finished.
In the morning, we all got up and ready to do sound checks and practice. I sent the guys ahead and worked for several hours in the telecommuting facility at the hotel. I went to the venue around lunchtime and found the guys had just finished working on some dance moves. We all came back to the hotel about an hour later and had a late lunch. The guys took a nap while I continued to work on scheduling for the shows that dates had been moved.
The two shows in Atlanta were awesome. The fact that we could stay in a hotel and the guys could get some decent rest made facing the upcoming weeks plausible. I found more and more love for JC, Justin, Joey, Chris and Lance with each passing day. We all had our differences and said things at times that weren't really appropriate, but we always went to sleep as friends.
The first weeks of the tour flew by quickly and I found myself back in my home state of Texas. The schedule was fucked up and we bounced around the metropolitan areas of Texas like a Ping-Pong ball. I only wished I had been the one making the plans for the tour before the venues were booked. It would have made this leg of the tour much easier.
The June 1st concert was in San Antonio. The guys had noticed I was more subdued than usual when were left New Orleans and headed to Houston. Whenever anyone asked, I would say I was just tired. But, once we arrived in San Antonio, Lance realized what was bothering me. The memories of my family were strong here, and even with my life being so full and happy, the memories of the past still haunted me.
After the show in San Antonio, we left for Dallas. Instead of going right off to sleep, JC, Justin, Joey, Chris and Lance all stayed up in the media lounge on the bus and waited for me to board. After I got aboard and told the driver to head out, I turned and walked down to the bunk Lance and I shared. When I didn't find him, I walked to the back of the bus and found the guys sitting around quietly taking. When I walked in, the room fell silent.
"What's up, guys?" I sat on the floor and leaned against Lance's knees.
"Why didn't you tell us it would be hard for you to be back here in San Antonio?" Lance spoke for the group. I just sat there.
"Jase. You can tell us! It's OK!" Justin put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. Tears fell down my face silently. I pulled my knees toward my chest and rested my head on them.
"Oh, Jase. We're so sorry you have to go through this pain, but if you don't talk about what's brought this on, I don't know how we can help." Joey spoke softly, reassuring me that I could tell them anything.
"It's...it's just I haven't been back here since..." I couldn't talk any more. They knew my family was killed just outside of San Antonio, so I didn't feel there was anymore to say.
We all sat there silently for what turned into hours. The guys never left the room, fighting there fatigue just to prove that they weren't gonna leave me when I was upset. Lance pushed me forward and scooted to the floor and held me from behind. I sat there and started humming to myself, needing my piano in a bad way. Once I stopped humming, I realized the guys had all started humming the same song as well. I listened and tears for no reason filled my eyes.
"To this day, I still don't know what I did to deserve all of you, especially you, Boo." I turned and kissed Lance deeply, passionately.
"Jase, with everything you've been through in your life, you deserve so much more than we give you." JC was caught off guard when my head snapped toward him and I glared at him.
"Don't you EVER say that! If it weren't for you guys, I wouldn't he here today. Matter of fact, I probably wouldn't be alive this very moment. So don't tell me I deserve more than y'all have given me. You've given me love, friendship, understanding, and also the love of my life. What more could I need?" I had calmed down and no longer looked angry.
"What do you mean you wouldn't be alive at this moment? Jase, you didn't..." Lance couldn't finish his thought. He tried to hold back the tears, but he was unsuccessful.
"Oh Boo, don't worry. I'm here, I'm alive, and I have all of you to thank for that! Y'all came into my life when I was at my lowest and lifted me up with a simple gesture of friendship, a smile, and a shoulder to cry on. I won't tell you I hadn't contemplated taking my own life. Everything bad that had happened in my life seemed to have occurred because I'm gay. But that's when I had my dream, my dream of a guardian angel. I knew that morning, when I woke up and had to go to work, that my life had something planned that I couldn't prevent from happening by killing myself. So, I got up, went to work, and that's how I ended up meeting Capt'n in the MEN'S ROOM. From the moment I recognized Justin at DFW, I knew why I needed to be alive." I finished speaking and looked into the faces of my lover and my friends. They all just looked at me with tears brimming in their eyes.
"And now look where we are! You're here with us on tour, so you and Lance don't have to be apart. Joey and I have each other and so do Justin and JC.
Our lives wouldn't have been this way if it weren't for you, Jase. You gave each of us the strength to admit we're gay and held us together through some of the rough spots. But, the thought of you thinking your life wasn't worth living is something I can't stand to think about. Please tell me you'll never think anything is so bad that that's the only way out, PLEASE?"
Chris had gotten out of Joey's lap and knelt beside me as the tears fell down his face.
"Oh, Christopher. Listen to me. The darkness of my past will be with me my whole life. I've tried to forget it, but that's impossible. But guess what? It gives me the strength to carry on. I've been raped, contemplated suicide, lost my entire family, and been disowned by family and friends simply because I'm gay. All of these things hurt so badly, I sometimes cry myself to sleep. But then I look over to my Boo, or to one of you, and I can't help but smile and realize that my past gave me the courage and strength to help all of you in one way or the other. You and Joey realized your love for one another, Lance finally admitted he was gay and fell in love with me, JC and Justin finally hooked up and Justin came out to his mom. All these things, each of you could have done on your own. But, it would have probably been much more traumatic if I hadn't been able to share my pain and help each of you realize that the pain doesn't always have to be!" I looked into Chris's eyes and pulled him into a hug. He sobbed quietly.
"Jase, you are more to us than you can ever realize. When we were traveling, Lance wasn't the only one who missed you terribly. You treat each of us as individuals, as regular people. Never once have you treated us like celebrities or asked anything of us, and I think that's the reason, initially, that we all felt so comfortable around you. But then we learned who you were and we all, in one way or the other, fell in love with you. You have been the missing piece of each one of our souls. You've protected us from ourselves, from the media, and even from Fate. You saved not only Justin and JC's lives, you saved *N Sync. So hear me when I say this; you will always be loved and you will always have a reason for tomorrow." Joey couldn't say any more than that. He amazed everyone with his emotional outpouring. His tears were more than I could handle.
As if by instinct, we all stood and formed a huge group hug. Everyone shed tears. We had been through so much together, and yet we still had to convince ourselves that we needed each other more than anyone had realized. My life had become so intertwined with the guys, the thought of having even one of them away for any period of time seemed like asking someone to cut off their own arm.
After the hug was over, I walked back up toward the front of the bus. We had made good time and I could see the glow of Dallas / Fort Worth on the horizon. I sat behind the driver and simply gazed out of the window. I saw the reflection of Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance sitting around the dining table in the windshield, watching me watch nothing at all.
"Take a picture, guys. I'll last longer!" I startled them and Lance got up and walked over to me.
"Jase, you OK?" Lance's deep voice was so soothing.
"Boo, I'm fine. I just wanna see the lights of Dallas and remember all that happened there to bring me to you." I held his hand and kissed it gently and turned to face the other guys. "Y'all, I'm OK, honest. Why don't y'all try to get a little sleep before we reach the hotel."
"How much further is it?" Justin asked with a yawn.
"Well, we're in Waxahachie so it won't be long. We should be in the hotel in about an hour." I smiled at Justin, as he had already nodded off on JC's shoulder.
"Jase, why don't you come back here and lay down." Lance asked me quietly.
"Boo, I just need to think for a bit. I'll get y'all once we're getting close to the hotel." I stood and helped JC carry Justin to their / his bunk.
After everyone was down and out, I returned to the front of the bus. I watched the familiar highway slide under the bus as we approached Dallas. A while later, I went and got Lance, pulling him from his slumber. We both walked back up to the front of the bus. Lance sat down heavily and looked at me, questioning why I had pulled him out of bed if we weren't at the hotel.
"Lance, I've got to show you something. Come here and look." I stood in the stair well at the front of the bus.
"What is it?" Lance asked groggily.
"It's where my new reality began from a dream!" I pointed toward a building in downtown Dallas.
"What?" Lance was confused.
I walked behind Lance and put my arm over his shoulder and pointed toward the building I was talking about. I guided his eyes with my pointed finger and he finally was able to describe the building I was talking about. We both sat back down at the table and watched the lights of downtown Dallas get brighter and brighter.
Once I got the guys checked into the hotel, we all went off to our rooms. When I sat down on the bed, Lance walked up and kissed my forehead. He looked into my eyes and I knew he was concerned about the emotions I had been feeling since coming back to Texas. I smiled and told him I was ready to get into bed and get some rest, and yet I knew I needed to talk to him. After Lance brushed his teeth, he emerged and found me still sitting up in the bed. I patted the spot right next to me and he grinned as he dropped his boxers and climbed into bed.
"Boo, did I ever tell you the entire story from my dream of a guardian angel?" I looked at Lance as he pondered my question.
"Well, kinda. You told all of us at the beach how you had dreamt about five certain things and they had all come true. Is that what you mean?" Lance slid down my body and rested his head on my chest, then looked up into my eyes.
"No, not really. Let me tell you from the beginning. In my dream, I had just finished my second bottle of wine. Needless to say, I needed some fresh air. I went to the rooftop pool on my apartment building and leaned against the deck railing. The air was crisp but no too cold. With my eyes closed, I put away my troubles and drifted into my own little world..."
The End!
***Author's Note:
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Nifty Archive for posting my work. This story, the "Dream..." and "Reality..." series, has been something very personal to me. I hope that everyone who read this story faithfully has seen the love and care I took in trying to handle the serious topics with as much love and humor as possible. Life was never meant to be fair, but how we deal with it speaks more than words can ever express. And a special thanks to the real Jase, who inspired such a unique character.
This story didn't end with a tragedy or a 'ride-off-in-the-sunset' ending. It ended where it began. It ended with Jase sharing his dream, his story, with the love of his life. Now, the story is left into the minds of the readers. You can decide if Jase and Lance stay together, as well as JC, Justin, Joey and Chris. For me, the story ends with the sharing of the first spark of love, the first spark of hope that Jase has needed for so long. Now, he has it!