Dreaming

*Disclaimer, I do not know Nsync all I know is that they like to Sing. This is all fiction. If it mirrors real life then I am Quitting as a writer and becoming a psychic. :) DON'T COPY AND PLAGARIZE!!! Or I'll have to sick my dragon on you! *

Dreaming: Chapter one

Dreaming of you Every single day and, Every single night of my life But someone else is holding you tight So I'll see you in my dreams

They all wondered why he slept so much, joked about it and basically Gave him hell for it. What they didn't know is...he slept because it Was in the state of false reality that he could hold him in his arms And not be afraid. Afraid of His peers, His family, and his morals. It was in his dreams where all his wishes came true and HE was always There. Every chance he got he would disappear into his slumber, Where happiness was all he felt and no one could take it away.

Have you ever wanted someone so bad? That you really didn't care if they had Any idea how you feel Cause your dreams are all so real

There were times where it would just be the two of them, sitting Around watching a movie or something and he would glance up and not Know whether or not it was real. He was absolutely perfect. His Hair, his eyes, His lips...There was once where he was watching him Eat and the cutest smile crossed his face. He actually had to pinch Himself to see if it was another dream, and realizing it was, he Mentally photocopied the image in his mind to remember in his dreams.

Please help me To understand this feeling I'm dreaming, your body so appealing You're committed to someone else But here in my dreams I have you all to myself

It hurt sometimes to wake up. Pain that shot through him, emotional More then physical. His eyes would open and his paradise would drift Away into nothing, his heart and soul aching for another moment when He could find himself back in the place where he knew true Happiness.

I know how your lips taste And feel though I've never kissed them for real So I find myself drifted away To my secret place

It was really...perfect. One again he laid down in his bunk, sleep Coming faster each time as the longing to touch him panged him. His Eyes drifting close, a smile across his face.

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the lord; you're in my dreams But you're committed to someone else But here in my mind I have you all to myself.

One simple word escaped his lips as he dreamed in paradise. One word That summed it up, all his love, passion, desires...One word...

"Justin."

Chapter two

Late at night when all the world is sleeping I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too

He looked out of the window of the bus. The Stars in the sky, the moon shining bright, it was all so magical in the passing scenery. But for some reason he wasn't happy. He knew why. It was silly...Sleep seemed to be evading him lately, he couldn't fall asleep and when he did it wasn't for long. He hated it. His dreams weren't there anymore, just the painful reality that he could never be happy in real life.

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight 'Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me

Tears were actually streaming down his face. He couldn't believe it. He was crying over a dream relationship!!! But it felt oh so good. For once in his life he felt loved, wanted, even if it wasn't real. He knew he wasn't being quiet anymore. He sobs were semi-loud and choked with his tears.

Wonder if you ever see me and I wonder if you know I am there if you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside? Would you even care?

He heard someone stirring in their bunks, he hoped it wasn't him. Stifling his cries of internal pain he laid his head down on the couch and tried to fall asleep...nothing. Not even the least bit of exaughtion. Sensing a presence he looked up to see Lance's sleepy figure looking down at him with extremely concerned eyes. "J...What's wrong?" He said sitting next to him.

I just wanna hold you close but so far all I have are dreams of you so I wait for the day and the courage to say how much I love you.

Jc involuntarily let Lance pull him closer when he didn't answer. What was he s'posed to say... 'I am upset cuz I can't sleep and that's the only way I can be happy cuz I'm in Love with Justin???' Never. "I...I can't sleep..." "Is that all?" He asked. Jc rolled his eyes... "yeah, that's all..." He felt a gentle tugging on his sleeve as Lance let him rest his head on his lap. Jc listened as Lance started humming a song. he recognized it as a selena song...

I'll be dreaming of you tonight 'Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight! And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me

Surprisingly he felt himself falling asleep, Lance's soothing voice crooning soft melodies. Jc didn't dream though...and he realized it in a state of unconsciousness...what he didn't realize though, was the dreams were evading him because his true love wasn't in a dream...His true love was closer then he thought...

Chapter 3

His eyes opened slowly. Almost un-willingly but the pang in his stomach was killing him. He almost wished he didn't have to eat...but his stomach was killing him. as he made his way to the kitchen area of the bus he tried to remember his dream. he knew it was weird, it had a final destination twang to it...but the rest was a blur. He glanced in the mirror as he made his way back to his buck after giving up on the food. he was pale. sickly pale. and scrawny. 'well, Jc that's what you get for not eating.' he ignored his thoughts and climbed back into his bunk. his stomach however had other ideas then sleep. It grumbled unrelentlessly. Sighing he reached under his pillow and pulled out a plastic container, he popped it open and pulled out two small white pills. shoving the bottle back in his hiding place he swallowed the painkillers and let the sleepiness take over him.

I lose my way, no one cares. The words I say, no one hears. My life it seems, is a world of dreams. Deep in the night, you'll find me. Dream and you'll find behind me. Stay .. if you stay. We'll dream the night away.

Dreams to dreams, in the dark of the night. When the world goes wrong, I can still make it right. I can see so far in my dreams, I'll follow my dreams, until they come true.

There is a star, waiting to guide us. Shining inside us, when we close our eyes. Come with me, you will see what I mean. Let the world inside, no one else ever sees. You will go so far in my dreams, some where in my dreams, your dreams will come true.

Don't let go, if you stay close to me. In my dreams tonight, you will see what I see. Dreams to dreams, as near as can be, inside you and me, they'll always come true.

Inside you and me, it'll always come...... true

Dreaming: Chapter 4

The desire to dream, to be in a world that was thought to be filled with perfect happiness, brought upon pain to those unseen by the Dreamer's eyes. They worried and panicked when the one they loved in secret hearts slipped into a world of fantasy, choosing to forget reality. Why? They didn't know.

. . . He followed behind his blonde friend, his eyes red and drooping. His shoulders sagging; the smile gone from his face. Worry filled his eyes as he stepped into the hotel room. His closest friends all sitting around avoiding eye contact when ever possible. "What's going on you guys?" Jc asked sitting on the table next to the door. Justin looked up at him, genuine concern and hurt in his eyes. Joey looked over at Chris then at Lance. Neither of them would look at Jc. Taking a deep breath Joey started. "Truthfully Josh..." That worried him. Joey's voice was sad, worried. This was Joey the guy who could out last anyone at the bar, always smiled and never ever let anything get to him. That and he used his full name. Josh. No one ever said just Josh unless they meant business. It was usually when he did something wrong. "We're worried about you..." Justin said looking away from his friend. Jc knew why...he was crying. "Why are you worried about me...I'm fine...just a little tired." He said yawning just to prove his point. "That's just it...you are always tired. Unless we have a concert or some Tv thing you are always sleeping...and frankly it's not healthy." Chris said. "What are you talking about...I feel fine." "Josh...You haven't eaten in a week, and don't lie to me, I've been watching you." Lance said. "What?" Justin said. "I just haven't been hungry." He defended, it pained him to see Justin so sad. He was too perfect to cry, and he was the cause of it. "That's bull Jc." Joey said his temper rising. "What!? Can't a guy just be tired??!!" he asked getting to his feet. No answer. No one even looked at him. "I'm going to bed." "Josh..." Justin said softly tears choking his voice. "What Justin?" He asked losing his patience. "Why are you taking pills?" The rest of the group looked from Justin to Jc in shock. "What?! What pills Jc?" Chris demanded stepping up to him. "He's been taking pain killers and Sleeping pills together." "What?!" Lance exclaimed, "Jc a combination like that is lethal..." Then is dawned on them. Every last person in the room looked up at Jc. "Jc..." Lance started, "Are you suicidal?" Jc looked up at him surprised. "What?! No. Of course not." "Then what are you trying to escape???" Justin asked wiping at the tears running down his face. Jc looked down at the ground, trying to find the right words. He faced his friends; tears brimming in his own eyes. "You wouldn't understand." He said simply. "I'm going to bed." He turned and started to walk out, he was stopped short by Chris who slammed the door shut. "We want to understand, Josh." He said only inches from Jc's face. Looking deep in his tired eyes, Chris saw...nothing. There was no light in those eyes that Jc had before. There was nothing there. Letting go of the door he backed off letting Jc leave the room. After the door shut behind him shocked expressions was all he received. "Why'd you let him go?" Joey asked. "I let him leave because we can't help him. He's gone you guys, there is no Jc left in there. What ever it is that he is hiding, what ever it is that he won't tell us..." He looked down at the floor then looked each one of his band mates in the eyes, "It's already killed him."

Dreaming: Chapter 5

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies So toss me out and turn in And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes I'm marking it down to learning I am

Happiness achieved through illusion. Paradise manifested in Fantasy. He'd never be happy without love in his life, but he Couldn't live with the pain. His own selfish desires created an Obsession. He glanced over at the small pill bottle laying on his Dresser.

I don't think I can take another empty moment I don't think I can fake another empty smile It's not enough just to be sorry I don't think I could take another talk about it

Tears pushed him towards slumber as he paced his hotel room. His own Petty thoughts disturbed by a voice of an angel. "Jc.can I come in. I want to talk."

Just like me you've got needs And they're only a whisper away And we softly surrender To these lives that we've Turned away.

Opening the door Jc's heart sank when he saw what was before him. Justin stood there tears drying on his cheeks, his eyes swollen and Puffy. Silence. They walked into the room together and sat down on The bed. Still silence. Not a word was exchanged, the connection Was enough?

Don't want to be the one who turns the whole thing over Don't want to be somewhere I just don't belong Where it's not enough just to be sorry

Jc pulled Justin close to him, holding onto him like he'd never let Go. Together they broke down in endless sobs. "Jc." He asked softly, his face now only inches from his best Friends, "Why don't you like me?" 'If you only know the truth Justin.' Jc thought to himself.

Don't you feel the darkness? Closing in Tried to be more then me And I gave it till it all went away And we've only surrendered To the worst part of These winters we've made

"Justin...I could never hate you." Those simple words finished the eternal bond, a spark lit that would Lit an eternal flame in their heart. The heat exchanged was Suffocating, he leaned in closer and their lips touched in a kiss Filled with years of forbidden passion. Soft, sweet...everything he Dreamed of. "Oh god." Jc muttered standing up. "I'm sorry...I just..." "No it's not you I...Oh fuck I am so sorry Justin I didn't think you Could..." "What...that I could love you? I always have." "Shit...I am so sorry...I didn't know...I...I..." "Jc.what did you do?" "I...I..." Justin followed Jc's gaze to the floor where a small white bottle was Lying amongst the clothes. He reached down and picked it up only to Find it was empty.

I am all that I'll ever be When you lay your hands on me But don't go weak On me now I know that it's Weak But God help me I need this I will not sleep in this bed of lies.

Chapter six is a special chapter because I am getting all my readers involved. You tell me what YOU want to happen next; your suggestions can revolve around Jc Justin Chris anyone! I am ending this on Nov. 30th...so tell me quick!!!