Formality time... this in no way is to represent anyone, dead, alive, or pop star. It does not imply that any Backstreet Boy is gay, bisexual, or anything else for that matter. If a Backstreet
Boy happens to be reading this, please drop me a line. If you shouldn't read this (you know who
you are) then don't.
I also want to go on the record as saying that I love my cat and I'm glad he's not dead. Teeheehee, little inside story. (if you wanna know, just ask)
Thanks to Yuli for giving the the inspiration to get back out here and post the next installment.
Dreams Coming True Part 4
After Brian's confession, all I could do was sit there, for what seemed like an eternity. I never took my eyes off of his, in search of the least bit of doubt or uncertainty. With my hands still in Brian's I leaned back and let out a deep breath that I didn't even realize I had been holding. I had come out to a couple of people before, but never had the experience of someone else telling me they were gay... I honestly didn't know how to react.
"I... I don't know what to say," I stammered out while trying to come up with something better.
"Say you'll go out with me," Brian said with a huge grin. His eyes sparkled with what looked like hope, and I could feel myself being drawn into them.
I felt much more comfortable knowing that he didn't mind that I was gay, but at the same time a hundred times more nervous at the thought of this incredible guy asking me out. "Brian Thomas Littrell, are you asking me out on a date?" I whispered, so no nosey passers-by would hear me.
"Yes, Joshua Lawson, that is exactly what I'm doing," Brian said as he took one his hands from mine and brought it up to stroke the side of my face. "Well?"
"Well what?"
Brian looked pleasently frustrated, which is exactly what I was trying for. "Listen, I really like you. I know we've only known each other for about half a day, but I think that I'd like to at least try something between us. Like I said, we have a few days off, and I would like to spend that time getting to know you."
"Well when you put it like that, how could I resist?" I said while taking Brian's hand in mine and bringing it up to my face to run it along my jawline.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a teenage couple headed our direction holding each others' hands. I new they probably wouldn't notice us but didnt want to take the chance, so I quickly forced Brian's hand down and pretended to be very interested in the stack of napkins on the table in front of me. When Brian saw what was going on, he quickly did the same.
The boy and girls walked briskly by without so much as a glace.
As soon as they were out of hearing distance, our hands quickly found each other across the table again.
"So, did you have any idea?" I asked while removing my hand from his to attempt to scrape the last bit of melted ice cream from the bowl in front of me, which no longer seemed at all appitizing after the revelations that had just been made by both of us.
"Josh, do you wanna get out of here?" Brian said hopefully. I could tell that eating was no longer at the top of his list, either.
"Desperately!" I said while moving to pick-up my partially eaten sundae.
"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." Brian said with a swat at my hand.
"I am not going to argue with that," I said as I followed him to a nearby garbage can.
After disposing of the remains of our midnight snack, I stood next to Brian momentarily, unsure of how to act in such a situation. This was my first experience with someone that I could have a romantic relationship with. I racked my brian for an idea of what to do.
"How 'bout a walk," I suggested.
"A walk sounds perfect," he said softly.
Despite the fact that it was almost 2 A.M. the streets in this part of Nashville were not exactly emtpy so Brian and I fought the urge for our hands to come together again, as we walked in the direction of what looked to be a small park.
When we were pretty sure that no one was withing eavsdropping distance, we picked up our conversation where it left off.
"Did I know that you were gay?" Brian said bringing back the question I had asked him earlier. "Well, yeah, after that good luck kiss I had a pretty good idea. That and we don't usually get that many guys backstage if you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I can imagine." I wasn't really paying attention to where I was walking and stumbled on a rock and began to topple over. It couldn't have taken over a second, but I saw it all happen as if it was slow motion. My left foot slipped causing my knee to buckle and sending me flying backwards. Seeing this, Brian quickly threw his right arm behind me and grabbed my left arm with his left hand, supporting me, and keeping me from busting my head on the sidewalk.
We stayed in that pose like a perfect picture of frozen time, staring into each others eyes. Brian's blue eyes lit by moonlight, seemed to show his very soul. His face came closer to mine, so close that I could feel his warm breath on my lips.
"FREEZE FAGGOTS!" Brian and I both jumped to our feet and saw a large man with a pistol pointed at us both. I could smell the distinct odor of booze on the man from five feet away. "I hate to spoil you queers' tender moment here, but if I don't see a really good reason not to blow both your ass banging heads off right now, thats what I'm gonna do!"
I'm not sure which I found more shocking, the large man with a gun or the fact that he had noticed that we were gay.
"Just chill, man! Here take this, all of it!" Brian said while jumping in front of me and fumbling hundred dollar bills out of his wallet.
"That's a li'l more like it!" the drunk man said as he took the money from Brian's trembling hand. As soon as he stuffed the money in his coat pocket he gave Brian a blow to the face that knocked him back into my arms.
No man, no matter how drunk, or ugly, or dangerous was ever going to hurt someone I cared about. In my anger I attacked the man. Even though I am a pretty big guy, he quickly overpowered me and threw me down next to Brian. The next thing I heard was a loud bang, and felt a sharp pain in my left shoulder. When the creep saw he had shot someone, he took off running.
I laid my head back and gritted through the pain, "Brian, are you all right?"
Brian's head appeared in front of my face, and I could see blood running from his nose. "Oh my God! Josh! You've been shot!" The worry in his face was apparent, as he grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and dialed 911 and started screaming into the phone.
I just laid my head back and must have passed out, because the next think I remembered was being carried into an ambulance and seeing Brian crying as the doors of the ambulance closed.
I arrived soon at the hospital. I made sure that Fiona knew what had happened and before long was laying alone in a room. My injury wasn't serious, but the doctors felt that I should stay over night because I passed out after I was shot, for fear I may have a concussion or shock.
After talking to the police about what had happened, I lay in bed going over in my head the events of the previous night, when there was a light knock on the door and it slowly swung open. Fiona poked her head in and as soon as she saw me, she ran over and grabbed me in a forceful hug.
"Ow! Hey loosen up a little! Injured man here!" I said while wiggling out of Fi's grasp.
"Oh God! Josh what happened?! How did you get from being at a Backstreet Boys concert to laying in a hospital room with a bullet wound?!"
"Fi, sweetie, you don't know the half of it," I said with a sigh. I then explained to her all that happened between me and Brian and about our attacker and how I got shot.
"You mean you got shot trying to protect Brian?"
I had never even thought of it like that. "Wow, I guess I did." I actually felt really good knowing that I had done something so noble.
We sat in silence for a moment. Fi just sat there, and gave me the support that I needed. Then a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. "Fi! What about my parents?"
"Don't worry. I called them first thing. They should be here soon."
"What am I gonna tell them? How can I ever explain this all to them? I can't tell them I'm gay! I just can't! There is no way to ever make them see any sense in this." I was at the point of tears when there was another knock.
I dryed my eyes and tried to put on the healtiest face possible, expecting to see my parents walk in. I won't deny that I was surprized to see the face of an angel instead... an angel with a swollen and bruised nose.
I could tell from Brian's red eyes that he had been crying. When Fi saw him coming she stood up from the bed to give him a place close to me to sit. "I am going to go downstairs for a few minutes." Fi said while exiting the room. I loved her for being so great and giving us time alone.
"Hey, beautiful." I said, trying to sound as comforting as possible.
He looked away from me for a second, and when he returned his eyes to mine I saw a tear ran down his face. "Oh Josh, I'm so sorry this happened to you! It's all my fault you got hurt!" He was crying freely now.
I sat up straight in bed and fought the pain in my shoulder as I put my arm around him and pulled him close rubbing the back of his head. "Brian, listen to me. This was in no way your fault. I'm fine, and you're fine, and that's all that matters, right?"
"Yeah, but I still feel responsible," he said with a shudder.
I put my hands on each side of his head and looked him in the eyes. "Brian, I care about you, and I don't want to see you beating yourself up about this, when there is nothing you could have done." I then brought his face to mind and gave him a very soft tender kiss.
Brian backed his head from mine with a small smile tickling the sides of his lips. He then leaned down and gave me another kiss, this one a bit less innocent... but it didn't last long.
"Ouch!" Brian said while grabbing his nose. "I forgot about that. I guess we'll both have to take it easy for while."
I couldn't help but giggle at the adorable look on his face. "But where's the fun in that?"
Suddendly there was a knock at the door. We quickly separated and put on the face of innocence as my parents came in.
My Dad was the first to see me sitting in the bed, and pushed past Brian like he wasn't even there. He grabbed me in a forceful hug much like Fi had given me earlier.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Please ease up a little," I said with a soft laugh, to show that I was really OK, just a little sore.
"Josh! What happened?" my Dad asked with a note of panic in his voice.
"Well, I got shot, Daddy," I said like it was not big deal, "but I am going to be fine. It's just a flesh wound."
"How did you get shot? Where were you?" my Mom asked.
Brian took this as his cue to speak up. "Actually he got shot helping me."
"What do you mean helping you? Who are you?" My Mom was not a very big fan of pop music, obviously.
"I'm sorry, I guess some introductions are in order. My name is Brian Littrell. I am a member of the Backstreet Boys," he said while extending his hand toward my father.
My Mom obviously realized then where she had seen him before and jumped in front of him taking his hand and shaking it vigorously. "Mr. Littrell, I'm sorry. I should have recognized you."
Brian amazed me how he could go onstage and peform for millions, but when a little bit of attention was given to him in private he blushed every time. "Think nothing of it ma'am. Please call me Brian. Your son over there deserves all the attention. He saved me from an attacker in the park."
My Mom's eyes went wide and she ran over to my bedside. "Is that true?!" I couldn't tell if she was happy or angry.
"Yeah, I had to. I couldn't just let Brian get hurt," I said with a smile directed at Brian.
"What were you doing alone in the park?" my dad asked.
"I don't know, I just felt like going for a walk, I guess," I said while giving Brian a 'help me' face, pleading for him to help me out with my story.
Brian took my look as his turn to talk. "After the concert I needed some fresh air so I went walking in the park to clear my head, and some guy pulled a gun on me and took my money and gave me this bruise," Brian said while indicating his swollen nose.
"I heard yelling so I had to see what was going on. I came up on Brian and his attacker and saw him punch Brian and I just lost it. The next thing I knew I was on the ground shot." It was close enough to the truth.
"That's right. Josh is my hero," Brian said with a cute impersonation of a southern belle.
"I can't believe it. My son, the hero," my Dad said proudly.
I was ready to get back to where Brian and I were earlier, so I feigned a yawn.
"Oh honey, are you tired?" my Mom said.
"Yeah, I guess getting shot really takes it out of ya." I said lazily.
"OK, why don't we get out of here and let you get some rest."
"Thanks, Mom." I said as she leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead, followed by my Dad who did the same.
"Brian, would you mind staying a minute longer? I want to talk to you about something." I said with a wink, while my parents were turned away.
"Sure," he said enthusiastically.
"OK, honey, we will be back in a little while. We love you!" my Mom said sweetly.
"I love y'all, too," I said with the same motherly tone she used on me.
"Brian, it was a pleasure meeting you," my father said while shaking Brian's hand.
After a few more words my parents finally left Brian and I alone again.
"You're parents seem really nice," Brian said as he sat back down beside me on my bed.
"They have they're moments, I guess," I said as I ran my hand up along the side of his face and then through his hair.
"Now where were we?" he said as he leaned in close and brought his lips to mine. I loved the way he tasted. I felt his tongue run along my lips and opened my mouth to allow him entry.
When we finally separated we were both out of breath. "Wow," was all I could say for a moment. "I didn't think we were quite 'there' yet!"
"Well, I imbellished it a little maybe!" Brian said with that now too familiar twinkle in his eye.
"Brian, I am really tired," I managed to get out with a yawn. I didn't realize how tired I was until I leaned back against my pillows.
"Do you want me to go so you can sleep?" Brian said, lovingly.
"No, would you sing for me?" I said with a hopeful grin.
"I'd love to sing for you."
I turned over so I could watch Brian as he sang me to sleep.
"I'd go anywhere for you, anywhere you ask me to.
I'd do anything for you, anything you want me to.
I'd walk halfway around the world for just one kiss from you.
Far beyond the call of love, the sun, the stars, the moon.
As long as your love's there to lead me
I won't lose my way believe me
Even through the darkest night you know..."
To be continued...
Let me know what you thought about it... email me at brokfan_1@yahoo.com