DISCLAIMER: Standard disclaimers apply. If you are underage (18 or 21, depending) and/or are offended by mature themes including consensual sexual contact between teen males, then DO NOT continue. This work is entirely fictional and any resemblances to persons (other than myself) either living or dead, is entirely coincidental. If you wish to reprint this story, just drop me an email letting me know where, and make sure you give me (Menzo) credit.
Feel free to give me criticism; my writing is far from perfect! Comments are very much appreciated, so please drop me a quick email at menzoberranzen_of_the_drow@yahoo.com
~Menzo
Chapter 10 - When to Hold On
The next week was a return to normality, for the most part. With no more detentions and a fortified resolve to keep myself out of other people's business, I had a peaceful, almost relaxing week. I saw Keegan on the two days we ran together and I went out for coffee with Julian, but no one broached the subject of their family life. I was still furious with Dorian, but he had the decency to avoid me like the plague and after much pleading from Jesse and Liz, I didn't go looking for him.
It was also nice to return to my own life, rather than worrying about Julian's. I spent as much time as I could with Matt, Ben, Jesse and Liz, whenever she wasn't with Aaron.
I partied hard with my friends on Saturday night, and woke up with a splitting headache the next morning lying next to a guy I vaguely remembered talking with the night before. We were both fully clothed, and I was quite certain we hadn't done anything more than talk. Nonetheless, I wasn't feeling in top-form when I next met with Nancy. She wasn't displeased I had been drinking, though; quite the contrary: she thought it was good for me to get out with friends.
Over the course of the adoption, and now our sessions together I had completely forgotten how it was that we met. It struck me as strange that now, only a few months after the fact, I would be spilling my most personal secrets to the same woman who had found me dazed and wandering the streets after being kicked out of my house.
After only three weeks of sessions with her, talking about my family and my life had become slightly easier for me. I had gone from one-word answers, dragged forcibly out of me, to long rambling answers that jumped from topic to topic and revealed things that I had never taken notice of before. I was finally inclined to agree with Jesse that, perhaps, talking would be good for me.
It was a Sunday morning and after I stepped out of the shower it dawned on me that, for the first time in recent memory, I had an entire day with no plans. I wasn't a social butterfly, but since moving in with Jesse I had been spending a lot more time with friends. It was nice knowing that I could use the day to do whatever I pleased.
Rather than dressing as I normally would, I put on an old pair of yoga pants and went downstairs in search of home-made coffee and an omelet. To my surprise, I wasn't the only person in the kitchen. Jesse and a girl I didn't recognize were laughing over a nice breakfast.
"Hi Jamie!" called Jesse cheerfully.
"Morning, Jess," I said somewhat groggily. I was exhausted from the night before and had even forgone my morning run.
"Jamie, meet Katie. Katie, meet Jamie," he said happily. It was very important to Jesse that I knew who he was dating. I reached over to the sullen looking girl and shook her hand.
"I've heard a great deal about you," she said neutrally. I couldn't say the same about her, but I decided against saying that. I recalled Dorian's reaction to our deep friendship, and decided to give this girl no reason to dislike me.
"Likewise," I lied. "Are you guys going out today?"
"That is up to you," she said tersely, glaring at Jesse.
"Oh, right," he said nervously. "I wasn't sure if we were going to that Spring Festival thingy today or not."
"You guys go," I offered graciously. "I think I'm going to spend some alone-time today. But you're up, so I want an omelet before you go!"
"Egg white with baby spinach and a dash of havarti?" he asked with a laugh.
"As usual."
I stood up to make myself some coffee and I smiled at Katie, whose face was now sporting a frown again. Katie did her best to studiously ignore me and continued her conversation with Jesse, while I did the crossword. I didn't mind, but I thought she was a bit of a bitch. His last girlfriend had been perfect and had liked me almost as much as she liked Jesse. I could only hope that Katie was just insecure at the moment - which wouldn't have been surprising - or was simply having a bad day.
"There you go darling," announced Jesse, placing the steaming omelet in front of me with a grad flourish. I lived for his breakfasts.
"Thanks Jess," I smiled. "Don't worry about the dishes, I'll do them after."
"Are you sure? I don't want to leave with our mess to clean up..."
"Go!" I insisted, giving him a subtle look. Katie just glowered from the other side of the kitchen. I could already tell this was a relationship that wouldn't last. It struck me as odd that a person as sensitive to my emotions as Jesse could not see when his girlfriend had a problem with me.
I waved goodbye to them at the door and returned to the kitchen to finish my breakfast. I had intended to enjoy a long, relaxing meal followed by leisurely cleaning of the kitchen and possibly a day at the spa. However, things never go according to plan and as I penned in the final word in the crossword, the phone rang.
It was Matt, and he was very excited. His parents, apparently, were going away next weekend and he wanted to throw a surprise party for Jesse's birthday. His birthday wasn't for another month, but Matt insisted that was what made it a surprise. I must admit that as much as I love Jesse and as much as I love parties, the idea of planning an entire party - and keeping it a complete secret - in less than a week was not a very appealing prospect. Jesse deserved it, though, and Matt never grew tired of throwing parties so I consented and we agreed to meet in an hour.
After a quick clean of the kitchen and dressing myself appropriately for going out, I made my way down to the coffee shop where we were meeting. I was late, apparently, because Ben, Matt, Liz and Aaron were all sitting down, sipping on half-finished drinks.
"Hey Jamie," called Ben, motioning for me to come sit down. Matt winked at me and got up, walked over to the counter and placed and order.
"Hi," I called back, waving at my friends.
"Well finally," laughed Liz, rolling her eyes. "It's not like you to drag your heels."
"I was planning on having a nice day at the spa," I sniffed in mock indignation. "Instead I'm here with you louts."
"Where is Jesse?" inquired Matt, returning from the bar with my drink.
"Thanks for the coffee. He's out with Katie."
"She's nice," remarked Liz.
"She's a piece of work," I replied dryly.
"Tell me about it," smirked Aaron, drawing a disapproving look from Liz.
"She's Aaron's ex," she informed me.
"Ahh," I smiled. "I can see why you'd be defending her."
Several minutes of pleasant banter ensued and we all sipped our coffees, enjoying the company. Eventually we all turned our heads to planning the party and came up with a rough outline of how the evening would work.
Ben and I would take care of decorating, Matt would take care of food and Liz would make sure people came to the thing. With only one week before it was happening - and us having school for most of that time - I was already feeling the stress. My relaxing day at the spa was instead spent bickering with Ben about whether we wanted gold or silver balloons.
Of course, life isn't a single, smooth upward climb for most people - it's a roller coaster of emotion. Monday would drag me back down into an emotional wreck and present me with a painful ultimatum: what Julian wanted or what Julian needed.
It wasn't until lunchtime on Monday that anything seemed out of the ordinary. I was eating outside and laughing with Aaron when I noticed Julian, sitting alone under an old tree. He was staring at the sky and his eyes held the same absent look he had had at Starbucks, the day he called me to pick up Keegan. He was completely still, save for the occasional blink, and he was apparently oblivious to everything around.
I got up from my table and made my way over to him, unsure of what I planned to say. I was going to mind my own business, but I thought I could at least cheer him up.
"Hey Julian," I said with a smile. I sat down on the ground beside him as he shook himself back to reality.
"Oh, hey," he said weakly. "I was just thinking."
"Haha, I noticed that. I was just wondering if you wanted to go out somewhere after school."
"Yeah," he said after a moment. "That sounds lovely."
"OK," I beamed. "I'll let you get back to thinking!"
I got up and dashed off without waiting for a response. I wanted him to know that I was there for him, without prying or smothering.
The afternoon was about as nondescript as the morning, and I found myself anxious to get out of class. When I met Julian after school by the front steps of the school, he looked different somehow. His posture was slumped - visibly reminding me of his mother - and his smile seemed contrived.
"Hi," he greeted.
"How are you?"
"I'm alright, I guess. You?"
"I'm not too bad. So, where would you like to go?"
"Why don't we go for a walk somewhere. I don't want to go sit down and have coffee."
"That sounds lovely," I agreed. Julian went to tell Keegan where he was going and when he returned, we meandered down towards a beautiful lakeside path that was slightly off the beaten track and never very busy. We walked slowly, and talked of everyday, ordinary things and after a while Julian seemed to relax, falling into his normal pattern of behavior. He wasn't talkative even at the best of times, but our long walk was pleasant nonetheless.
After about 45 minutes of walking, we rounded the final corner of the dirt path and the parking lot came into sight. As we approached the cars, I saw Julian tense up and pause momentarily before walking quickly towards a lone figure leaning on an old car. His face was pale, and there could be little doubt that this man was Julian's father or father-figure. I quickened my pace to keep up with him but I didn't say anything.
"Where the fuck were you?" demanded the man as we approached. Julian's shoulders slumped and he struggled to answer.
"We were just walking around the lake," I replied demurely.
"And who the fuck are you?"
"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously.
"Stay out of other people's business," he snapped. "Julian, get in the damn car. I've been looking for you for an hour."
I hadn't thought it possible, but Julian paled even more and dejectedly moved to get in the old car.
"Goodbye," I called firmly. He hesitated, and I think he mumbled something, but I couldn't make it out.
"Are you deaf?" demanded his father.
"Not at all, my dear man," I retorted once I was sure Julian couldn't hear me. "I fail to see, however, why saying goodbye is - how did you put it? - not my business."
I watched in satisfaction as he reddened profusely. Not wanting to cause Julian any unnecessary grief, I turned on my heels and walked away from the loathsome man. As I walked, however, I began to feel sick. Was this the man who ruled Julian's life? Was this the cause of the tears and the bruises?
On a spur-of-the-moment decision, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Lily's number.
"Hello," came her lively voice.
"Hi Lily," I responded. "Where does Julian live?"
"I'm well, thank you," she laughed.
"Sorry. So?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because I want to stalk him!" I snapped, annoyed.
"Ok, ok, calm down."
"I'm sorry Lily," I sighed, pausing to sit on a bench.
"Don't worry about it. Does he know you're coming?"
"No..."
"I wouldn't go to his house uninvited," she warned.
"I don't want to warn him."
"Play with fire, and you will get burnt, Jamie."
"I had the pleasure of meeting his father today."
"He's a piece of work."
"Come on, Lily! He's an abusive sonofabitch and you know it. Hell, I talked to him for two minutes and I could tell."
"Where are you?"
"On the corner of Park and South."
"I'll be there in five minutes." With that, she hung up and I had no choice but to wait for her.
When Lily came, she refused to talk until we were seated on the patio of a local crepe shoppe that she adored. I was very impatient, but she wouldn't budge.
"I've known Julian for a long time," she said at last. She paused to take a sip of her smoothie before continuing. "He doesn't want anybody's help."
"So he keeps telling me," he sighed.
"Trust me, Jamie, it is too hard on you to keep worrying about this. Let it go, and remember it isn't your problem."
"But it is my problem!" I practically yelled. "How do I live with myself knowing that he's being abused and I'm doing nothing to stop it?"
"You have no idea," she whispered. "I've seen him beaten so badly he could barely walk, Jamie. I've seen him sink as deep into depression as a person can get. The only thing that keeps him going is Keegan."
She looked on the verge of tears; it was clearly something she dealt with by not thinking about it. Neither of us spoke immediately after, but I knew what I had to do. Lily's confirmation that the abuse was extensive was the final straw.
"Just because he doesn't want help, doesn't mean he doesn't need it."
"So what?" she laughed. "You're going to call the cops? Julian will turn them away and say everything is just fine."
"I don't know! I don't know what I'm going to do. For starters, however, I'm going over there to see him. And you're going to take me there."
"Fine." I blinked once in surprise, expecting an argument. She paid for our drinks, and walked out to the car with me jogging behind her. The car ride was brief, but awkward but I was not relieved at all when she finally stopped the car. We were in a rough area of town, and it suddenly dawned on me where I was going.
"It's that house right there," she said, pointing to a dilapidated white house a short distance down the street. "I'll pick you up here when you come back."
I nodded my thanks and walked purposefully towards the house, careful not to step in the mud that was omnipresent in the yard; there was no walkway to speak of. I steadied my hands and took a deep breath before knocking shortly on the door. I could hear loud voices within, but not clearly enough to distinguish what they were saying.
Keegan opened the door a crack, and peeked his head out. The voices intensified, and I recognized the familiar voice of Julian as well as a deeper one that I assumed belonged to his father. Keegan stepped out onto the porch, and shut the door behind him.
"Hello," he said neutrally. He was obviously not please I was there, but nor was he going out of his way to be rude to me.
"Hi Keegan, how are you?"
"I'm fine. You?"
"Just fine. Is Julian there?"
"Why are you here, Jamie?"
"Uh...Homework."
"Right," he said, rolling his eyes.
"I want to talk to Julian," I insisted firmly. Just as the words left my mouth, I heard a loud bang followed by a scream. "Now!"
Keegan looked up at me with eyes I remembered from the night he had spent at my house. My heart broke for him, but I pushed past him as he put up a feeble protest. The door swung easily open and I found myself standing in an incongruously clean foyer. Julian was hunched over facing the far wall and his father was standing over him, yelling about something.
"Get the fuck out of my house!" he roared, turning to face me.
"I'm looking for Julian," I said quietly. Julian, red-faced and teary-eyed, turned to look at me. I couldn't tell what was going on behind those eyes, but I think he was grateful for the interruption.
"I don't care," he said menacingly. "Stay off my property, you nosy little brat!"
"Julian, could I borrow your Spanish text book?" I asked, ignoring the father completely. Julian nodded numbly and walked stiffly up the stairs and out of sight. Keegan dashed up after him, averting his eyes.
Then it was just me and their father standing, face to face, in an empty hallway. There was murder in his eyes, but I simply stared calmly back.
"Why are you here?" he demanded curtly.
"Because I am concerned," I replied honestly.
"And what would you be concerned about?"
"I think you know very well," I said in a steely voice.
"What are you implying?"
"I'm not implying anything; I make it a policy to be as explicit as possible. In case there's any confusion, let me clarify: you are an abusive scumbag not fit for the title of father." He rose to the challenge, and started advancing slowly.
"How dare you?" he whispered in fury. "I'll raise my children however I goddamn well please, understand? If you ever so much as breath a word of this to anyone else, I'll give you a lesson too."
He placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing tightly and made to direct me out of the house. I held my ground and looked up at him.
"If you ever so much as lay another hand on me, I will nail your fucking ass to the fucking wall, no matter what Julian thinks he wants."
My voice was icy cold, and he looked at me in shock, obviously unaccustomed to such defiance. He opened his mouth to say something, but he shut it as Julian came back downstairs, looking chipper, and carrying a textbook for a course we both knew I didn't take.
"Here you go, Jamie," he smiled. It was a forced smile, and he was anxious to get me out of the house.
"Julian!" shrieked a female voice from somewhere in the house.
"Uh, I gotta go," he said quickly, pushing the book into my hand. His father merely watched as he ushered my unceremoniously out the door. When the door shut behind me, rather than walk away, I sat down on the porch. It was as I had feared; his father started yelling and the female voice followed his lead. Julian cried out, and I heard Keegan begging for him to stop it. I couldn't take it anymore and I ran back to the car, jumping in the front seat.
"Enough is enough!" I said loudly, biting back tears. I flipped open my cell phone and dialed 911. I didn't press send, though, and I just sat there looking at the phone.
"He will never forgive you Jamie," Lily said softly.
"I will never forgive myself if I don't," I whispered hoarsely. Mustering all the courage I could, I pressed the little green button on the top of the phone and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach.
Once again, sorry for the long wait.
Comments, criticisms and suggestions are all very welcome. I write because I enjoy it, but I post them here for you so please let me know what you think of the story.
Menzoberranzen_of_the_drow@yahoo.com
~Menzo