I know what you were thinking and no, I'm not dead just a little busy and lazy don't forget lazy. Anyway, I am back, this is the sixth chapter thanks for all the colorful e-mail. Please keep sending them, I really enjoy them thoroughly (I hope I spelled that right). Those of you who don't normally write the author(like me)please feel free to do it I like it. Now, here be the disclaimer. This is a work of fiction and not true, plus it's false and don't forget unfact. If you shouldn't be reading it then don't or do, whatever, it's on you. Thanks all.
Chapter 6
"It's been ten days!!" Justin yelled as I walked into the kitchen and into a very deep conversation. "He hasn't talked about it. He won't even talk to me!!! Can you believe that shit? His best friend!!" I smiled as Joey looked at me with a hintful look regarding Justin's comment.
"I know, it's like he just cut himself off from the world, sorta," Lance added as he waved at me, "he doesn't talk unless we say something to him first and he just sits and stares off into space."
"Where is he now?" Chris asked as he waved his head at me when he saw me enter the kitchen.
"He's out by the pool," Lance answered. I walked over to the counter and picked up an apple, I was just on my way out the door to let them continue their conversation when someone called my name.
"Hey, John," called Justin I turned around and smiled at him, "what do you think is going on with Josh?" Over the past ten days I had gotten to know these guys a little better. I had grown to like them a lot. They care a lot about their friends and I guess I'm one of them. Justin and I had hung out a lot since JC cocooned on them.
"Well, what happened to him kinda knocked him on his ass, ya know?" I started. I could see that I had their undivided attention at that moment. "The person that he loved cheated on him. He's probably going crazy thinking about what he had done that caused this. What he could have done different in their relationship." I continued on about what he was probably feeling, when I told them about my experience in that department.
"You?" Chris asked.
"Yeah, I was cheated on a good number of times. I was going through twenty different emotions at once everyday," I ended. Terrence was the first guy I ever loved and one I will never forget, but only because of the pure shit he put me through. But I'm not bitter. No bitterness here, the sorry son-of a-#$!@#!#.
"Man, that sucks," Lance breathed after I had finished with the explanation.
I guess none of these boys had ever been cheated on. ~Now, I'm bitter.~
"He just needs a little time to sort out everything that's happened. When he's ready to talk he'll come to you," I ended looking at Justin hoping to ease his mind. They all nodded their understanding and sat in silence for a few minutes. Chris decided that it was time to change the subject. ~That's why I like that guy.~
"You know?" Chris began, "I guess I should be grateful, he's the only one who could beat me at NFL Gameday."
"False!" Justin defended his skills.
"You couldn't beat me if I were sixty, blind, and deaf," Chris came back.
"Well, you're old enough now. Let's go," Justin said as he and Lance and Chris went into the other room to hook up the game. Joey stayed behind with me in the kitchen.
"Jo-Jo, maybe you should go out to talk to him," I said.
"What's wrong with your legs?" he asked.
"I don't know him that well to go out and try to guide his life," I wrinkled my brow. He just smirked and looked at me.
"What?" I asked.
"You've been a real friend up to this point, boy. You give him his space and you always speak to him when you see him. You even sit with him when he's just staring off in space," he scolded, "besides, you have more experience than me. I've never had the luxury of being cheated on as much as you." I hit him, but I could see his point, so I hit him again.
"I guess, I don't want you to go out there and mess his head up," I sighed turning to the door.
"Just try not to be so worried about what not to say, just be the friend I know you can be... sometimes," he smiled as he called out after me. The air was warm and less humid at this time than in the morning or afternoon. The moon and the stars were out in full force tonight. It almost seemed romantic. ~I miss him so much.~ I found JC sitting on the ground by the pool looking up at the stars lost in thought. I came up next to him and waited to see if he said anything. Nothing.
"Is this seat taken?" I asked. Nothing. "Whoa tough crowd," I smirked. Nothing. I took the hint and just sat with him. We sat there for a half-hour just looking up at the stars. I just wanted him to know that I was there. I knew he probably didn't want to talk about it.
"You know what's so comforting about the sky at night?" I asked, finally, not expecting an answer. I didn't get one. "Did you know that a star is actually a sun? There are billions of stars out there. Billions of suns probably with planets revolving around them. Those planets might even have life on them. What's comforting about that is when something bad happens to me, just imagining that there must be someone out there who is going through or has gone through the same thing that I am just makes me feel... not so bad. I feel strong enough to deal with my problem because there is someone out there who understands me and can relate to me." I paused for a couple minutes to let my words sink in. "I remember when I caught the first guy I ever loved in bed with one of his students, I wanted to cry, hit him, kill something, jump off a bridge all at once." I got his attention, because out of the corner of my eye I could see him turn his head to look at me. ~We have contact.~ I kept my gaze up at the stars. "It was embarrassing and heart breaking, it was like he slapped me in the face in front of a room full of people I wanted to impress. Unlike you though, I went ballistic. I started throwing things and cursing. I was so caught up in going crazy I slipped on one of the things I threw and landed flat on my face. You know, to add on to my embarrassment. I hadn't had enough already," I said this last part with a smile and I could hear a small exhaled laugh. I stopped talking and waited for him to say something. We just sat there in silence for another 15 minutes.
"I don't know why this happened," he sighed and turned his head back to the sky. I just sat and pondered for a minute trying to think of something to say to make him feel better.
"I'm sorry," I stated simply. "I know you feel like shit right now, but I've learned that it's best not to try and figure out what you did wrong, because you aren't the one who cheated. If she was having problems with you, she would have told you about it. Am I right?" He nodded meekly. "In my case, Terrence was never one for monogamy. I am so lucky I didn't get anything from him. I remember thinking hours at a time about what was wrong with me. I felt so self-conscious that I began to hate myself again. I even made myself sick worrying so much." Telling this part of my life wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I actually felt better telling him.
I could feel JC's eyes on me and I turned to look at him. He looked like he was in deep thought, because when he realized I was looking at him, he flinched in surprise and then blushed.
"I don't like feeling like this," he began, "I wish that I hadn't looked into the room, or maybe I should have called first. Then I wouldn't have found out and I'd be happy."
"Would you really want to be in a relationship with someone like that?" I asked looking at him. He took a moment to entertain the idea.
"I don't know. Maybe if I forgive her she'll see that I care for her and that she'll stop what she's doing," he thought aloud. "You had to have forgiven that guy to have been with him... when... he... died." He turned red after he said this last part and apologized for being "insensitive."
"Dude, don't worry about it, but that was someone completely different. But I did take Terrence, the one who cheated on me, back. All I can tell you is that he hurt me ten times worse, when I took him back." He just sat there and thought for a minute. I was wondering if what I was saying made any sense at all, but he looked over at me and smiled.
"When did you get over this pain?" he asked.
"When I finally went out with Jamie," I smiled at the ground in remembrance.
"I guess you'll feel like that until you fall in love with someone else. That'll make what she did to you a distant memory." He smiled again at this last comment.
"Thank-you," he said.
"No problem," I said.
"I feel better knowing that someone else knows what I'm going through. I just need a little more time before I can talk about it openly with them," he said pointing to the house indicating the rest of the guys.
"You know," I said as I stood up and extended my hand to him, "thinking about something too much can be bad for you. It could give you worry lines and God knows that's the worst kind of wrinkle. You should take a break and have a little fun." He grabbed my hand and I helped him up.
"What did you have in mind?" he asked.
"I dunno, maybe forgiving me," I said.
"For what?" he asked surprised.
"For this!!" I pushed him into the pool. The look on his face was so priceless, I couldn't help but laugh at him.
"You are so dead," he said as he resurfaced and headed for the pool stairs. I stood there to let him think he was going to push me into the water, and as he came close I ducked out of the way and tripped him and he fell in again. I laughed out loud. I felt bad for making him get wet so I extended my hand to help him out of the water and, yeah, you know, he pulled me into the water with him. That water was cold. My nipples were so hard I thought they were going to pop off. He swam over to me and started laughing really hard.
"You think that's funny?" I asked as I reached up and dunked his head into the water. He spit water out of his mouth as he came back up for air.
"Oh, it's on now," he said as he pushed me down into the water. We began to shoot water on each other and laughed while doing it.
After a few minutes of playing around, I swam over to the pool wall and sat on it. JC followed suit and we just chilled there with our feet, and shoes, in the water. I started to think how fun this guy is. ~He reminds me a little of James.~ With this thought a wound in my heart opened up again, I missed him so damn much. ~I wish that things could be the way they were.~
"Hey!" JC was waving his hand in front of my face to get my attention.
"Sorry," I sighed.
"What's wrong?" he asked with concern etched in his voice.
"Nothing, just worrying about the past," I said.
"Did you want to talk about it?" he asked. I smiled at him.
"Maybe later," I responded. JC nodded his understanding. "So, what did you want?"
"Oh, just that I appreciate what you did for me. And that you're a really cool guy," he said.
"Duh. I thought you knew," I antagonized, he laughed. "Thanks."
"Yeah," he smiled at me. "Anyway, for some reason I'm always getting wet when you're around," he smirked.
"If you were a girl I'd take that as a compliment," I responded. He started laughing so hard that he began to cough from lack of oxygen. I decided it was time to go into the house to dry off. I stood up and he got up too. We walked side-by-side toward the house. I asked him what we could do tomorrow and we talked about that for the entire trip back to the house. When we got into Joey's house we went in through the kitchen. I picked up my apple that I put down before I went out to talk to JC. We headed into the den and were met by confused stares. ~I'm starting to get used to that.~
"What the hell happened to you?" Joey asked.
"We had a fight," JC offered.
"Yeah, I kicked his ass," I chuckled as I put my arm around his shoulders. He smiled and looked at me, I saw his head turn out of the corner of my eye.
A thought came to me and I turned to whisper into his ear and he giggled and nodded in agreement. I pulled my arm off his shoulders and he walked nonchalantly over to Chris and I did the same over to Joey. We both jumped into their laps at the same time. We were both soaking wet and we got them all wet too. Justin and Lance were laughing at us. Joey jumped up out of his seat and doing so made me fall on the ground hard.
"Ow," I groaned rubbing my wet butt.
"That's what you get, jack-ass," he laughed back.
"Payback's a bitch ain't it," I heard JC tell Chris.
"You got two seconds to run before I beat both your asses," Chris looked at me and JC.
"Hey, I sat on Joey, not you," I argued.
"But you were the one who was behind the whole thing," he retorted.
"Oh, that," I sighed. He started counting down from three. I ran out of the den into the kitchen with JC right on my heels and Chris barreling after. "Why am I always being chased in this house," I yelled over my shoulder. I ran out into the backyard and stopped at the pool. Chris came up to JC and was about to push him back into the pool, when he imitated the move I used earlier on him. Chris fell hard in the pool. JC was laughing at him and had his back turned to me. I pushed him in. Chris laughed and JC, when he resurfaced, flipped me the bird. They both went to the pool wall trying to get out to get me. I ran back into the house and back into the den. I found Joey, Justin, and Lance talking about something, so I ran over to Joey and stood behind him.
"You're about to catch a beat down," JC said as he and Chris came in dripping wet.
"Hey, guys don't get the house all wet. I just had the carpet cleaned," Joey said.
"Yeah, besides, I'm the new guy. You shouldn't pick on me," I said in an innocent voice. Everyone laughed at me.
"Truce?" I asked before I came from behind Joe. Chris and JC looked at each other, before answering.
"Ok," JC finally answered. "But be on your guard, because you will get yours!!!"
"Ooooooo," I said twitching in my stance, "you got me shaking in my boots."
"Oh, you're a funny guy," he laughed.
"Sometimes," I added.
"Now that we've established that, get out of those wet clothes before you guys have to pay to get my carpet cleaned again," Joey smirked.
"Yes sir!" I snapped to attention and headed off to my room to shower and change clothes. I was just putting on my t-shirt and boxer-briefs (I love those things) when there was a knock on the door. I went to open it.
"Um, I'm sorry," he said, "I'll come back in a minute."
"No, it's alright come in J-boogy," I smiled.
"Thanks. I just wanted to thank-you for talking to JC. I was getting really worried about him. He told me that you helped him put things in perspective," Justin said as he sat down on the bed. I was finishing getting dressed.
"I did that? Well, what do you know. I just went out to play mind games on him," I smiled at him.
"Well those 'mind games' helped him a lot." Justin replied. "What did you tell him?"
"I basically just talked about ET and used some Men-in-Black analogies. You know, the usual," I answered.
"OK, I'm sorry I asked. So, what are you doing tonight?" he asked changing the subject.
"Joey, said he was going to take me out to the club. You guys coming?" I asked hopefully.
"Yeah, sure, that'd be cool," he responded.
"Cool. I'm about ready to go." Just then there was a knock on the door. I walked over to the door to open it. Behind the door stood JC in nothing (I assumed nothing the way he was clutching it closed) but one of Joey's robes.
"Whatever you're selling, we don't want any," I said before I opened the door all the way.
"But I haven't even shown you the best parts yet," JC said as he walked into the room. He went over to where Justin was sitting on the bed and sat down next to him. I shut the door only about half-way before I headed into my bathroom to brush my teeth and try to fix the mess I call hair.
"Hey, who's this guy in this picture," Justin asked as I finished taming the shrew. I needed a haircut.
"Which one?" I asked.
"The only picture that's out here, dumbass," JC responded.
"Yo mama," I called out of the bathroom.
"She's not here, what about her?" he replied.
"She's a very nice lady," I gave as I came out of the bathroom to see what the hell he was talking about.
"This one," Justin smiled holding a picture of me being lifted up by a guy.
"Oh, that's Jamie," I smiled.
"Holy shit, he's built like a brick house," JC breathed.
"Yeah, he was big," I began, "in pleasantly more ways than one."
"Ok, too much information on that one buddy," Justin smirked.
"That picture was taken the third week we were dating," I started, "he could bench press me. In fact he did a couple times." I smirked at the mem-or-ies. "He's cute ain't he."
"Um... yeah sure," Justin said rolling his eyes.
"I have a picture of him in my wallet, it was taken just before he died." I took out my wallet and showed the picture to them.
"Wha, what happened," Justin asked timidly.
"The chemo and the stress, made him lose all that weight, he didn't eat, barely slept and he couldn't exercise. He got really weak and he'd collapse every now and then... but he was still beautiful," I smiled to myself as I remembered making fun of his size, or lack thereof.
"You miss him a lot don't you?" JC asked.
"Yeah, but it gets easier to deal with everyday. Though sometimes something will make me think about him and I'd smile, then the realization that he's gone just overwhelms me and my heart aches," I said. There was silence as the deepest sense of uneasiness settled in my room. I was starting to regret telling them. ~I didn't mean to bring them down.~ Then out of the blue a voice came from behind us.
"Is this a private party or can the owner of the house join in," Joey said as he pushed the door all the way open. We all turned to look at him.
"No, this is a party only for the beautiful people," I smiled.
"Well then I guess I'm already invited," he smirked. He walked into the room and sat on the bed. He was eating some cookies.
"Hey, if I get cut by crumbs you left in my bed..." I purposely trailed off.
"Oh, you're going to sleep here tonight?" he asked.
"What do you mean? Where else would I go?" I looked at him confusedly.
"I thought you'd go over to your friend Paul's house to sleep," he smirked looking at me and then behind me.
"That was that one time. And it only happened because you locked me out of the house," I said putting my hands on my hips.
"You have a key," he said.
"I told you before I left that I was going on a night-run and that I didn't take my key," I play-scolded him.
"I had something to get too," he said.
"Yeah, I'll bet," I gave back with a smile.
"What can I say? The ladies love me," he smirked. Justin, JC, and I laughed at Joey at the same time.
"Oh, really?" I finally said, "How about telling us what happened with Sasha, Erin, Dominique, Stephanie, or how about Emily?" I started to ramble off the names by counting them on each finger.
"Um... I don't think anyone will be told what happened," he said widening his eyes.
"What happened?" Justin asked.
"Let's just say, our buddy Joey has not always been a player," I smirked still looking at him.
"Ready to go?" Joey quickly changed the subject.
"Yep," I responded.
"You're going like that?" he asked.
"Well, the thought did cross my mind when I was getting dressed," I answered.
"You're not going to the club with me in some jeans and a flannel shirt," he bellowed. "Come on," he said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the closet, "we're going to find you something sexy to wear." I just rolled my eyes. During the past ten days Joey and I have had the opportunity to talk about me and how sad he was that I was "giving up" on finding that special someone. I kept telling him that I found the guy of my dreams already, but I lost him. He'd just sigh and put his arm around me and we'd either stand or sit there in silence. He told me that as long as I was alive, there was someone out there who was meant for me. He was so forceful in this statement that I gave up trying to convince him otherwise.
"Alright, alright," I sighed as I pulled my arm free from his vice-grip. We stood there a few minutes, me standing there twiddling my thumbs and he searching for something for me to wear. "Joey, we're going to a straight club, I don't think it really matters what I look like," I chuckled. He glared at me. I put my palms up in defense.
"Ah-ha," he said as he found my black semi-formfitting cotton pants, and a semi-tight long sleeved no collar orange shirt with Chinese symbols up and down the sleeves. I only wore that a couple times for Jamie, he said I was hot in orange and black, so for Halloween I got this from some store I can't remember what. He pushed the clothes in my hands and crossed his arms across his chest and stood there waiting for me to get dressed.
"You want me to put this on right here?" I asked motioning to the open door with two spectators pretending not to be paying attention.
"Fine. Go into the bathroom, but don't take forever I don't want to have to go in there," he scolded.
"Yes, sir," I smiled as I walked into the bathroom. I quickly got undressed and put on the clothes that Joey ordered me to wear. I had to re-fix my hair. ~I definitely have to get it cut.~ I tried to pull the fabric out of some special areas. I wasn't used to wearing clothes that were so tight it felt weird, even though I wasn't fat anymore. I decided I was presentable enough so I opened the door and walked out into the room. I stood there for a good five seconds feeling very self-conscious because I was getting peculiar looks from all the guys in the room.
"You look... you... you look good," Joey stuttered out. ~What the fuck is his problem.~
"I feel like I'm a gigolo. This stuff is too tight," I said pulling the pants from the crack of my ass. I looked around the room and saw that Lance and Chris had joined them in my absence. "So, what are ya'll looking at?"
"Just surprised that you actually dressed up," Lance smirked, "you're always wearing jeans and some huge ass shirt."
"Don't get hit. I was forced to look like this," I smiled.
"Wow, you got a body underneath all those clothes," Justin said as his face turned red from realizing what he just said. I blushed again. ~What is this? The twelfth time?~ I usually wear baggy clothes, because when I was bigger, I wore them so that I could try to hide my fat in the cloth. It didn't work, but it became habit. We decided it was time to leave. I rode with Joey and Lance in his car, while Justin, Chris and JC rode in Justin's.
It's about time we were going to the club. I haven't been there in the longest time and I missed the heat, the music, and the ability to get lost in the crowd. There's nothing quite like being a nobody when you're used to everyone expecting so much from you... -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope it was to your liking if not tell me if so tell me. bye bye bye (I know, I'm a corny bastard)