Forget About Letting Go (Chapters 16-18) "Dear Readers and FALGites....I apologize profusely for the extreme delay in the release of falg...school has started back and lo, I've actually decided to participate in my education this year! LOL, I don't have a lot of time to work on the story right now, but I am doing my best, and I hope that is good enough for all of you! So read on, and please be patient with me. luv and hugz all,
Ari Ryven
Hey guys! Guess what? I finaly got another installment ready for yaz! YAY! Before you get too excited tho, I would like to apologize ahead of time for the decrease in quality, and hope that I still manage to maintain your attention. FALG was never intended to be one of those "quick-to-bed" stories...It's...It's something different. :-) Anyway, read on and Again I apologize for the ridiculous delay and for the lack of quality...if it's noticeable, OH and I've changed email addy's for fan mail, so if you have any comments or CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms, email me at: Forgetaboutlettinggo@hotmail.com
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Forget About Letting Go (Chapters 16-18)
By
Ari Ryven
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Chapter 16
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Three weeks past, and finally I was gonna be able to go back to school. I, of course by that time was quite used to the home/homo-life since I spent most of my "cripple" time at Judy's. My mom didn't freak out, as Judy anticipated. And when Thanksgiving rolled around, she did as we all suspected, and ran off with Dave. Judy, although thoroughly pissed with my mother, treated Trevor and I to perhaps the most fantastic Thanksgiving Day dinner I'd ever had in my life. Perhaps, my ass!
When I woke up to get dressed for school that morning, I felt butterflies in my stomach, much like any normal person would feel on the first day of school. I couldn't really explain it, but for some reason, I felt like the past three weeks had changed me more than any summer vacation ever could. I didn't want to acknowledge it, but I was going to have to welcome the change if I ever wanted to be with Aaron. The only thing I was completely unsure of at that point was whether or not the change was noticeable.
As always, Trevor came over and waited for me while I took a shower. I came back to my room to get dressed and there he was, where I'd found him nearly every morning for the past 3 years of school, sitting in my reading chair, flipping through a rolling stone.
"Josh, sup? Ready for-"
"I don't know man. Feel weird this morning. I got first day of school jitters."
He laughed and tossed the magazine aside. Slob. "Hehe, FIRST DAY JITTERS! Oh my god, Josh, you? Mr. 'I'm so outgoing it hurts?' Hehe, who'd have ever thought?" He laughed and reached over to slug me in the arm, causing me to side step into my bookshelf.
"OWWW! FUCKER! My feet ARE still sore ya know!" I slugged him back, and finished getting dressed. I laced up my Hi-Tech boots which, according to everyone at school, went out like 5 years ago. Fuck them!
"Oh man you are NOT wearing that!" Trevor laughed and pointed up and down at my "ensemble."
"Since when were you with the fag fashion police?" One thing that amazed me over the past weeks of hanging out with Trev after being outed, was how comfortable I was with calling MYSELF, a fag.
"Sorry man, but GEEZ! Cutoff BDU pants and combat boots? What, are you a fuckin mercenary now?" He said rolling into the floor, laughing his cute little ass off. JOSH! BEST FRIEND HERE, HELLO! HE DOES NOT HAVE A CUTE ASS. Oh...yeah...right.
I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. He wasn't half off. I did look like some grunge mercenary nightmare. My slight figure looked bulky in the clothes, but hey, at least I didn't look so anorexic any more. Plus the lime green button down shirt lit up my eyes, which had settled on a light hazel green kind of color. GOD, I'm becoming such a FAG!
"Well, come on..." He paused, looking me up and down, smirking at me. "GONZO!" He let out a childish laugh and walked out to the living room. GONZO?
"GOD, Trev! GONZO? Couldn't you come up with anything better than that? Gonzo is BLUE! I'm decidedly GREEN TODAY! GOD, GET A CLUE!" I said in my best queeny voice. If I did look like "Gonzo" I was in trouble. Ahh well. I grabbed up my book bag, and we were off.
On the way to school, we struck up conversation about the how much fun the last week before Christmas vacation was going to be. Apparently James had decided to play a prank on one of our least favorite teachers, Mrs. Long, U.S. History Teacher Extraordinaire, BWAHAHAHA! He had bought a bunch of prank peppermints, that were supposed to taste like fish to put in her candy jar. The old bitch was always munching on some kind of mint during the day and she kept a jar full of peppermints JUST for her on her desk. It wasn't up to par with his usual prank, but since it WAS Mrs. Long, Senile haggard old bitch from hell, immaturity would only catch her more off guard. What kind of world she thought she was living in NO ONE knew. What was really Ironic was that she taught the contemporary issues class!
We pulled in to school, and, OH LADY LUCK JUST FUCKED ME IN THE ASS! I thought to myself as we pulled in right next to Aaron, who was getting something out of the backseat of his car.
"Uh-oh," Trevor said under his breath as he shut off the engine. I looked over at him and he looked at me in apology. "Sorry." He got out of the explorer, and I just sat there. Hoping Aaron would go away, and not notice me. Trevor walked around, and when he didn't see me get out, he tapped on the back window, "C'mon Josh!"
Aaron's head snapped up so fast that he banged it on the ceiling of the car. He stood up and looked around, then spotted me in the front seat. I gritted my teeth, grabbed my bag, and opened the door. Trying not to be imitimidated by Aaron was useless. He still had a hold on me. A strangle-hold. I felt a lump grew in my throat, and it felt like my stomach was suddenly swarming with sand hornets instead of butterflies.
"Hel- Hello Josh." Aaron forced a smile that was no better than a grimace as I stepped out. He didn't look displeased or angry with me, as I'd imagined he would be. Instead, he walked over and hugged me!
"Ummm....Hi." I said, trying to break the hug. I stepped back, a mixture of anger and fear of anyone seeing me hugging aaron, wracked my body.
"I'm really sorry about..." He looked down at the ground and scuffed his feet. Trevor, who must've sensed my discomfort broke in between us and yanked me away.
"Yeah, yeah, pretty boy. You're sorry you caused him to get fucked up. Whatever." Trevor grabbed me by the elbow and yanked me towards the school. I looked over my shoulder and Aaron was leaning back against his car staring at the sky. He looked so pathetic and fragile, and seeing him like that, hurt me. I still loved him. I knew, it, and I'm pretty sure he knew it to. But my love still must not have been good enough, as he didn't make any effort to catch back up with us.
"Trev...you didn't have to be so harsh, man."
"God, Josh, I'm just covering you're ass. You don't need him, after what he did to you? FUCK HIM!"
"I STILL WANT TO!" I whined as we walked into the main lobby. The first time I got to see Aaron in 3 weeks completely oblitherated any of the anger or resentment I had for him. He seemed like he actually cared about me. That he actually cared that I gotten hurt. But, I guess Trevor was right, talking to him at school just was NOT the right place. "Hey Trev, I'll catch up with ya in a bit, I'm gonna go down and see what's for breakfast in the caf."
He stopped and looked at me funny, then said "Fine, whatever." And walked off. He and I both knew that I had never eaten the radioactive slop-shit they call breakfast at school. But, I felt like I had to go talk to Aaron. I ran down the stairs to from the lobby to the cafeteria, came careening around the corner and smashed a tray of hot slop onto some faceless freshmen's chest, and then ran even faster as the fat-ass Caf monitor came yelling after me. I ran out the other door of the cafeteria and out the side door, across to the Fine Arts Building. I slowed to a walk as I headed to the drama classroom, where all the Drama freaks hung out before school. I strolled in as casually as possible, and was instantly greeted, by Becky, a girl I knew to be Christina, another hideous creature who called herself Jamie, and lastly, the Drama teacher Mr. Beattie.
"Well good morning, young man! I do not recall seeing you around these parts of campus before. Come to sign up for the winter play auditions, I see." GOD! Even the teacher was a drama queen. He sat down a bowl of some wrank smelling soup and picked up a yellow notepad, and pen. "Here you go!" He smiled cheesily, and I wrinkled my nose. "Oh! Sorry, about the odor. My new diet. Cabbage soup! Takes pounds off in weeks!" He laughed to himself.
"Uhhh, no...no...I uhh.." I turned and caught Becky's attention. She ran over to me, and pulled me away from Beattie's desk.
"OH MY GOD, JOSH! You're BACK!" She said, being her giddy, hyperactive self. I hate to admit it, but god how I missed that.
"Yeah, hi. Umm...I need to talk to Aaron."
Her face took on that of scorn and distaste. "Why?" She said, angrily. "Haven't you done enough this morning?" Jeez what is she- "He's in the men's room," She pointed towards the bathroom. And stood there staring me down. "He's crying, Josh. He tries to be nice to you, and you guys just shut him down!"
"ME?!? That was Trev! I wanted to-"
She turned me away from her towards the bathroom and shoved me. "Tell that to him. Not me!" MAN! I can't go into the men's room to talk to him. Nothing says FAG MORE than going into the guy's bathroom to talk to another guy! I stopped, and tried to turn back towards her, but she grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me towards the door. As we past Mr. Beatties desk, he looked on, amused, but withdrawn from interfering. "GO!" And with that she pushed me through the bathroom door. Suddenly I was alone in the entrance to boy's bathroom, and all I could hear was the echoing of Aaron's sobs from the dressing area a few feet ahead and around the corner.
"Umm...Aaron?" I stepped as quietly as possible towards the changing area hoping he hadn't heard me. He didn't answer, but his sobs seemed to calm and become quieter.
"What?" He finally answered. I took a deep breath and stepped around the corner to see him with his back to me, crying to himself in front of a full length mirror. Man, he looked like shit. He looked up and saw me, then tried to straighten up his appearance as he turned around.
"Listen, I...Trev...He, he wouldn't LET me talk to you. But I WANTED TO!" I said trying to empasize the desperation in my voice.
"You didn't put up much of a fight when he dragged you off."
"Aaron, what could I have said if I would've stayed? I would've made an ass of myself." I stopped and looked down at the floor.
"Josh, I just wanted to know how you were doing... I feel bad for what I did, and I can't help thinking that it's why you got all-"
"What you did? Let's see Aaron, what DID you do, exactly?" I said, that comment angered me. As true as it probably was, that was such a self-centered comment, that I couldn't let it slip by. So I got angry, if I didn't get angry with him, I probably would've let him walk all over me and let him have his way.
He just sat there and stared at me for a minute. "We can't talk here, not about this, not right now."
"If not now, then when? I want to know. Aaron, you didn't even call me to see if I was alright...then again I don't know what I was expecting...I guess since my love isn't good enough that any chance of a friendship isn't either!" I turned and stormed out of the bathroom. As I walked past Beattie's desk he held out the sign up sheet again.
"You know, I'd like to see you at the auditions, you'd be perfect for-"
"Fuck you!" I said and then ran out the door towards the metal building. Beattie didn't come after me, and I was lucky. I couldn't believe I said any of that! But once again, luck wasn't with me as I leaned back against the wall, and stared up at the tin roof, I saw Aaron come running after me.
"Josh, come on. Don't be like that, that's not fair. Why don't you come with me up to the theater. Beattie let's me go up there whenever I don't feel like going to class. We can talk there. He'll write you a pass-"
"Aaron!" I whined, "What can we talk about? I'm not good enough for you remember?" Luckily, there wasn't anyone around, as classes were about to start any second now.
"Josh, you and I both know that's not what I meant...NOW COME ON!" He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me back into the Fine Arts Building, and up the stairs to the theater. We walked in through the stage door, and found our way to the lights. Then we took seats at a card table tucked away in the corner of some unidentifiable set.
"Listen, Aaron. I don't see why we even need to talk-"
"No, you listen Josh! I did not tell you that you were not good enough for me. It KILLED me to say that to you. But I just, I didn't know how else to tell you what I was feeling." He looked at me from across the table with tears in his eyes. God, did he ever NOT cry? At that moment, I couldn't really remember how I'd become so hung up on him. He could be such an overly dramatic bitch sometimes.
"Dammit stop crying. If it hurt you so bad to say that, then why- Why didn't you come back and see me, or call me when you found out I got hurt?"
He sat there and just looked at me. He didn't say a word. A single tear strayed down his face, but there was no emotion...just a blank mask for a face. Damn he's a good actor. But I could tell by his eyes that he was breaking down inside. Crumbling.
"Aaron. I meant it when I said I love you. I've been hung up on you for almost two years, now. But I never thought I'd have to become some Fag Hag Queen just to be with you. Even if I were to start being more like the person I really am, that would NOT BE IT!" I started to scream and I knew I'd snap any minute, so I got up and turned for the door.
"JOSH NO! Please! That's not what I meant!" Aaron called after me uselessly. I couldn't face him. Not now, not on my first day back at school. I thought that MAYBE, well hoped would be the more appropiate term, HOPED that maybe just by letting aaron know that I was alright and telling him that I still loved him would just solve things and maybe we could be back together again. NOW WHO'S NAIVE! I continued walking and as I reached the stage door, I turned just enough to make sure that he could hear me. "For what it's worth, what happened to me wasn't your fault. And I'm STILL trying to figure out HOW to change." With that I walked out the door, and ran across to the main building.
I reached my Algebra 1 class door, and realized that I was 15 minutes late, and I didn't have a pass. "SHIT." I muttered to myself. I turned and walked back in the direction I came from. I was gonna have to go upstairs and get a late slip. This was my last ALLOWED tardy slip of the semester and we still had like a month before the next semester started. That spelled detention for sure! I walked up the stairs and down the hallway to the main office.
"Good mornin` Josh. Long time no see! You actually been gettin to school on time?" Mrs. Perdue, the school nurse/Late-slip-giver-person chided from the other side of the window.
"Umm..no. Didn't you hear? I been absent from school for like 3 weeks." She cackled and the cackling turned into coughing.
"Well, I knew it was too good to be true. Why so long gone?"
"Oh, I had an accident and I couldn't walk until they took the stitches out of my feet, so I stayed at home, did my schoolwork from there."
Her face was blanketed with terror, "Good lord, Josh, what'd you go and do to yourself?"
I blushed, and rubbed the back of my neck. "I umm, tore my feet up pretty bad on my gravel driveway, couldn't walk for like 3 weeks...it sucked." I smiled as she signed my late slip.
"Well, good to see you back again...Wait, no it's not! Get to class!" She began hacking again, or was she laughing? Couldn't ever really tell. Some school nurse. Mrs. Perdue was an avid hypocrite. She handled the after school smoking seminars for those kids that got caught smoking on campus. The irony in that was that she smoked so much that she had a hellacious smoker's cough.
I walked into class, and Ms. Levasseur stopped her lesson, and just stared at me icily, until I sat down. "How nice of you to join us Joshua. Late slip?"
"Oh, yeah." I got up and handed her my late slip. "Sorry I'm late, uhhh..." I searched for something to say to piss her off. Hey, there's no such thing as starting in TOO early. "I uhh...I had to go get Charles the janitor....some kid zipped up too quick in the bathroom and I figured the poor guy would need some pliers to get that zipper back down." The class burst out in laughter and I smiled. Mrs. Levasseur stood there with her hands on her hips looking at me in disgust.
Suddenly she broke into a smile and retorted to my lame excuse. "And you, being the ever so cordial young man that you are decided to offer a helping hand, did you?" The class laughed even louder and I felt myself go red with embarassment. "Tell me Josh, did he have a big one?"
My mouth dropped open and I stood there in shock, as everyone broke out into riotous laughter. DAMN! That was harsh! I guess in my time off from school I'd forgotten how lewd Mrs. Levasseur could be when you pissed her off. One time, when last year when I was taking Algebra 1 the first time around, she got after Aaron because he kept staring at James across the room. She said, "Mr. Kohler, Either you have something that Aaron over here finds terribly interesting or you've got something in your hair." Then she turned to Aaron, saying, "So Aaron, which is it? That amazing body or does he have something in his hair?" She made Aaron cry and she didn't even flinch! All she said after that was for him to pay more attention. She earned Aaron a beating from James after class was over, and nothing was ever said about her comments to the Administration. I guess everyone else thought that she was hilarious as long as she wasn't making fun of them.
I came back to life and tried to think of a come back. "Actually Ms. Levasseur, it was kind of puny. Didn't really spark my interest. Size DOES matter." I snapped back. That was sure to get me kicked out of class. I stood there and tried to stare her down. She became very flushed and her eyes filled with rage. She looked like she was about to backhand me. But instead as predicted,
"GET OUT!" She screamed, and turned me towards the door walking me to it.
"JEEZ!" I exclaimed, making things worse no doubt, "Can't I sit down, all that action in the bathroom has tuckered me out!" Even though I wished that something actually had happened in the bathroom, and some small part of me would make everyone think I was serious about my excuse, I knew they just found it hilarious, so I made the situation worse on myself. Normally I wouldn't have gone that route with Ms. Levasseur, but I guess I really had changed a little bit over the past three weeks. For one thing I was much much much more bold.
As she shoved me out into the hallway and told me to go to the office, I turned, and blew a kiss at her. She slammed the door in my face, and I stood there peeping through the window watching as she frantically tried to calm down the class. HAHA. I won! Or did I? My mind returned to the fact that what I said was grounds for suspension. Ahhh hell, you only live once, right? I walked off, not really sure where I was going, but I knew I WAS NOT going to go to the lower office. Instead, I walked down to the back set of stairs in the sophomore hallway and hung out there until first period was over. I had the sinking feeling that the altercation with Ms. Levasseur was one of many to come within the next few hours.
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Chapter 17
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"Well I'll be damned! FUCKING DAMNED!" I screamed as I was told to go out into the hallway until history, my last class of the day was over. It's not my fault! The bitch told me I was being snotty, I told her she was being menopausal. She was the one that started it!
I sat down against the wall and wondered if this was actually high school or if I'd ended up back in primary school. The entire day, as I thought was pretty much the same, except for language. That was the best part of my day, even though Aaron was there, I still had fun and didn't get kicked out!
I noticed James at the other end of the hallway, and got up and walked down to join him. He was definitely high, but on what I had no idea. It was almost always something different every day. I grabbed his shoulder to help steady him as he walked, or stumbled as it were towards history.
"James, man, what'd you take this time?"
He stopped walking and looked up very very slowly, like he was stuck in slow mo or something. He looked at me and I noticed that one of his purple contacts had fallen out and his pupils were extremely large. He stared into my eyes for a minute then laughed, "Heheh, about 12 motion sickness pills, and a couple hits of acid."
"GOD, man...you can't go to class like this, Ms. Long will kick you out for JUST looking like a slacker, let alone for being in a stupor..c'mon, I'll help you get to the bathroom, you can sit in one of the stalls til schools out. McCouch sees you and your ass is gonna get suspended." I grabbed his arm draped it over my shoulder, and tried to rush to the bathroom before McCouch, the principal in charge of truancy and skipping made his last rounds before school let out. James was notorious for attending no more than 3 classes a day, so everyone, especially McCouch had it out for him.
I sat him down in one of the stalls and closed the main door to the bathroom. I sat down on the sink counter across from him, and attempted to make small talk.
"So, any parties this week man?"
James just sat there and stared at the ceiling with his mouth hanging open. "Gimme a cigarette."
"There's only 10 minutes man, just wait it out."
"Nooooo. I want one now!" He whined stomping his feet. I tried not to notice how cute he was right then, but my hormones got the best of me. I looked him up and down, from his vans all the way to his jet black hair. He was wearing a pair of EXTREMELY wide leg jeans with a black t-shirt, and a white button down dress shirt over that.
"So what were you doing with Aaron the night of my party a few weeks ago?" He asked, sloshing his tongue around giving him a really bad slurr. I didn't think James would even remember what happened yesterday, let alone something that happened almost a month ago.
"What are you talking about man? I wasn't with Aaron!" I lied. James raised his head to look at me and he giggled. Oh yeah, he's toast. I just hoped he didn't-
"Nuh uh man!" He laughed and pointed, "I saw you two!" He said in a childish tone.
"James, man, just how much shit did you say you took?" I asked as he tried to stand up in the stall.
"Oh..." He managed to stand up and turned around, with his back to me. He fumbled with his belt for a minute, then his pants and boxers dropped down around his ankles. "SHIT!" He bent down and hit his head on the toilet paper dispenser and slumped forward, hitting his head again on the flush valve at the back of the toilet, then fell to the ground.
I knew I had to go get him up, but I couldn't move. I just sat there and stared at his gorgeous ass. Oh my my my! Looks even more delicious than I imagined! I thought about all those nights I'd beat off fantasizing about him, then I realized what had just happened. I jumped up off of the counter, readjusted myself, and went over to try and get him up out of the floor.
By the time I had him upright, someone came in the bathroom. I whipped my head around to see who. Shawn, a guy from my history class walked around the privacy divider and stopped dead in his tracks.
"Hey...uhh wha- what, is uhh-"
"James passed out tryin to take a piss, I COULD use a little help here!" Shawn lingered for a moment before coming over to help. I let him pull james out of the stall while I got his pants back up around his waist, and did them back up. "Ummm...get some water, and splash it on his face, I'm gonna go get the nurse." I turned and walked toward the exit, as I came around the corner I ran right into Mr. McCouch. "Oh! JEEZ!"
"Joshua, hello."
"Uh...hi."
Mr. McCouch walked past me and saw james lying against the wall in the floor. "What the hell is going on here?" He looked to me, and back to james, then to shawn, and to me again.
"Oh, James passed out, I was on my way to get the nurse."
"Go!" Mr. McCouch commanded as he leant down to check James and see if he was hurt. I ran out the door and down the hall to the nurses station.
"Mrs. Per-"
"She left early, what's wrong?"
"Oh, Mr. Odell, ummm one of my friends passed out in the bathroom, I think he ove-" I stopped in mid-sentence. No need to let that little bit of info out. I didn't want to narc on him. James was my friend, and I am NOT a narc. I waited for mr. odell to grab his bag, and we headed back to the bathroom down the hall.
When we came around the corner, I saw one of the worst things I think I've ever seen. James was semi-conscious but he was leaning over on his side, and vomiting...bad! What's worse is there was blood in it.
"My GOD!" McCouch said, standing up and backing away. Shawn cupped his hands over his mouth and ran to the bathroom stall. O'dell ran over to James and turned him over more so that he wouldn't choke.
The bell rang and kids flooded into the halls outside, A couple of guys came around the corner, and McCouch ushered them out, "GET OUT! We got a problem in here, it don't concern you guys, the other bathroom's down the hall, go!" He unclipped his walkie talkie from his belt and stepped out into the hallway closing the bathroom door. "Josh, see if Mr. O'dell needs your help, if anyone comes in, get rid of them!" And with that he walked off down the hall.
"Josh, go check on your friend over there," He reached into his bag and pulled out a pen lite, and waited for James to finish vomiting. I felt weird seeing him laying there, so helpless and looking so bad. I guess even guys like James had their bad moments, and unfortunately, I was there to witness it. I walked over the stall where shawn was, he was kneeling in front of the toilet but wasn't puking. Thank god! I said to myself as I wasn't sure how much more vomit I could stand to see.
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Chapter 18
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It was finally official, December 17 was the most disgusting day of my entire life. James ended up being rushed to the hospital, and had his stomach pumped, he was kept there for days, and he hadn't improved. All we were told was that it was an overdose...somehow it seemed that it was so much more than that. Trevor and I visited him on the last day before Christmas break, and he had already lost a lot of weight and looked pale and lifeless.
On the 23rd, we went to visit James again, and we asked the nurse if we could see him. She told us someone was in with him right now and we'd have to wait until they left, so Trevor and I sat down on the benches across from his room.
"Hey, you wanna go catch a movie with me and Beck tonight?" Trev and Becky hadn't been together that much lately, and I was surprised to hear they were going to the movies.
"Ummm, sure, that is if you want me too....thought maybe you and Becky would wanna be alone though...haven't seen you two together that much lately..."
"Nah, man, it'll be ok. She said she wanted you to come-" Trev and I looked up simultaneously to the door of James' room. When it opened, and we saw who stepped out, both of our jaws dropped.
Aaron, turned around after he closed the door quietly, and saw us sitting there. He nearly jumped out of his skin. "OH! JOSH!" He exclaimed and became flushed.
Trevor got up, scowling at Aaron. "What are you doin here pretty boy?" He asked, every trace of compassion gone from his voice.
"Umm...I just came by to see if James was ok..."
"What the hell do you care? He hates you!" Trevor said putting a finger in Aaron's chest. I couldn't let Trev lose his temper with Aaron. Aaron was backed against the wall and had this horrific expression on his face. I stepped up and pushed Trevor back away from him.
"Calm down, man." I turned to look at Aaron, who let out a breath I assumed he'd been holding since the moment he saw us.
"He does NOT hate me." And with that he walked off. What the hell was going on here? This was Aaron, visiting JAMES! James, the guy that beat the shit out of Aaron last year because of the thing in Algebra class.
"Trev, you go on in, I wanna know what he was doing in there man..." I turned to run off and catch up with Aaron, when Trevor grabbed me harshly by the arm.
"Fuck him Josh! Come-"
"No! Trev, just go..." I ran off to catch up with Aaron. I saw him getting on the elevators, and sprinted in that direction. "DAMMIT!" I screamed as the door shut right as I reached it. I turned for the stairs, and managed to make it downstairs, to see Aaron walking out of the hospital.
"AARON!" I yelled and ran after him. I don't know why it was so important that I found out. It's not like James was gay, or that Aaron was my boyfriend. But I guess seeing him there did make me jealous...the mere thought of him shacking up with James repulsed me. Don't get me wrong, I love James. He's totally cool, but he's an asshole no matter what way you look at him.
Aaron stopped at the door, and waited for me to catch up. When I walked up, he just started walking again. "I don't want to talk about it Josh, please, just leave me alone."
"Aaron...You don't have to tell me anything, you know that, but I just wanted to-"
He turned on me, and I nearly walked right into him. "No josh. DON'T! Listen, There's things going on...it's none of your business...Jesus it's not like you and I are...are together." He looked down at his feet and turned again to walk away. I wasn't EVEN going to let him off that easy.
I had to reach deep down inside to find the balls to say it, and when I found them, "No...you're right, but I want to be, and what seeing you up there makes me think....It ain't good Aaron."
He didn't stop, instead he sped up as he walked to his car. I followed. I didn't want to give this up, not until I figured why he was in James' room. "Aaron!"
"No Josh, I don't want to talk right now...I'll see you later tonight, we'll talk then. Ok?" And with that he got into his car and left. WWWAAIITT!!! He'll see me later tonight? What did he mean by that? I was completely lost at that point, so I wandered back into the hospital, and eventually ended up at James' room.
I knocked softly and opened the door, to see James asleep on the bed, and Trev was sitting staring at the floor. "Hey," I whispered, "Did you get to talk to James?"
"Huh? Oh, no...He was asleep when I came in...we'll just come back later." Trevor got up and ushered me out of the door. "So what was Aaron doing in there?" He asked as he closed the door.
We walked out into the parking lot, and I explained what had transpired with aaron. Not that I myself even knew what actually happened.
"He said see you later tonight? Wonder what he meant by that..." Trev tried to avoid eye-contact with me as we sat down in his explorer. There was something that HE wasn't telling me too. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!" I echoed the voice inside my head. There was something going on with Aaron and James. AND there was something that Trevor wasn't telling me too, which for all I knew, meant he was fucking Aaron on the sly.
"Nothing man, I was just-"
"Bullshit, look me in the eye and say it!" I grabbed Trevor and turned him so that we were facing each other but he still didn't make eye contact with me.
"Josh, its NOTHING! GOD! You see Aaron coming from James' room and now you're questioning me?" I wasn't buying it, but I let is slide anyways, it was too close to christmas time to start a fight with Trev that would end up with us avoiding each other. Which, when we fought, that's always how it was for at least a week.
Trev put the car into gear and we drove back to the house to get ready to go to the movies. On the way home, I flipped it to an alternative station, and ironically enough, Silverchair's Lie To Me exploded through the speakers. I just looked over at Trevor who grimaced and then flipped the radio off.
"Listen, I can't say anything ok. Just...chill dude. I think you'll figure things out tonight."
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Well guys, sorry, but that's it for now! I know, I know, kind of low key, but I mean well. There's plenty in store for everyone...Josh, Trev, Aaron, Becky, and even James! So just please, be patient, I'm doing my best. This whole back to school daze is getting to me, and so I haven't been able to write as much. Plus, those of you I've talked to personally know that I been having some other personal conflicts. I apologize for the absurd delay in the story and hope I haven't lost to many of you as loyal readers. Oh well, I know my most hardcore fan will understand! Luv ya Alex!!! *SMOOCHES* More to come!
luv and hugz
Ari Ryven
Forgetaboutlettinggo@hotmail.com