Author's Notes-- Oly oly oxen free!!!!! Anyone remember me? (Didn't mean to have that rhyme... really I didn't :) ) Well it's been a loooonng time since I've ever sent anything down the Nifty way. But here is a little something I finally got around to finishing. (Took me long enough, I know I know.) Let's just say too much 'NSync for the mind is a BAD thing. kidding
Disclaimer: Not real, and all of the characters (except for Taylor, Crystal, Amy and Trent) are not mine. Backstreet and NSync are their own free(if not insane at certain points) people.
Chapter Notes: I know that AJ went to rehab, hell I saw the Boys say it live, but in this story, even though I am giving life to some rumors, I'm glossing over that truth.
Chapter 4
"You mean why is this the last tour?" Howie asked me.
"Yeah. I mean, what's stopped your desire to do this? If you don't want to tell me because you think I'm going to blab it to everyone when you don't want me too, I won't. I promise this conversation will not leave this table. And in case you didn't figure it out yet, I take my promises very seriously. A promise is based on trust, and I value your trust in me." I stated vehemently as I made eye contact with several of the guys and their girls.
Seeing everyone share silent looks of communication, I looked down at my plate and ate the other breadstick. As I finished eating my breadstick and took another sip of my wine, I heard JC ask, "Doesn't leave this table?"
I shook my head, "Doesn't leave this table."
All ten guys looked at each other and an agreement was shared between them, then Kevin said, "It actually started a few years ago," he said as he took a sip of his own red wine. "With Nicky and Justin."
"You remember the Millennium tour?" Brian asked me.
"Yeah, there was that whole thing where everyone was saying that Nick kept on showing bouts of depression and his mother only loved him for his money, not to mention the rumor that Mandy beat him." I said, noticing that Nick was cringing slightly as I talked about the rumors that I remembered from that tour. "Tell me it was true." I sighed.
"It's all true." Nick said as Justin squeezed his hand in support.
"Aw geez Nicky, I'm sorry." I said sympathetically.
"It's okay. I'm over it."
"But it still sucks." I said as I shook my head in slight disgust. "So tell me Justin was depressed during the `No Strings' tour."
"How'd you know that?" Justin asked me.
"So you're not denying that either." I sighed. "You'd be surprised what some of your fans can pick up on. Not all of us are raving loonies out to have a piece of you. Some of us actually get concerned when you ten look unhappy." I said as I sat back in my seat. "That was another rumor mill that was started while you guys were on tour. Not to mention the issues of weight... gosh that one kept on coming up, especially while `N Sync was on tour for No Strings and Celebrity. You don't think we saw how skinny you and Lance sometimes looked Curly? If you think we missed it, then you're sorely mistaken."
"You caught that too huh?" Lance asked shamefully.
"Yeah. It was kinda tough not to. Jive, or Johnny, or SOMEONE was running you five ragged during that year, and a lot of people noticed it, not just me."
"Okay..." Josh trailed off. "What else do you know?"
"Well I don't KNOW anything Josh." I addressed him. "The only thing I'm telling you is the rumor mill that I was able to dip into being a fan, that's all."
"Well so far you've been pretty close to the truth." Chris admitted.
"A little too close." AJ whispered under his breath.
"And you picked this up all from fan word of mouth?" Howie asked.
"Yup, well most of it. Sometimes you don't need to hear about it to see something's up." I stated. "You guys can't hide everything, no matter how much you try."
"Yet another reason why we just plain quit." Joey said.
"Um was there anything else you heard about me during the `No Strings' tour?" Justin asked me suddenly. Nick gave him a questioning look, almost as if asking him silently why he was asking his question.
"No." I said questioningly. "Why? Was there something else?"
"Um... yeah." Justin said softly as he stared at the tablecloth pattern.
I could tell that Justin was getting uncomfortable with the situation. "You don't have to tell me Justin. Really you don't." I said soothingly.
"No that's okay. I've put it behind me, and it's a lot easier to talk about now." Justin stated firmly.
"Okay Justin. If you're sure. I mean it sounds like we're treading on thin ice here, and you don't need to tell me everything."
"No, I can say it. Taylor, you've been really understanding and everything, and I don't know, I just feel like I can tell you this without regret." Justin said as he took a deep breath. "Um... I tried to commit suicide during the `No Strings' tour."
I was speechless. Not only were all the rumors that people had thrown out into the web coming true, but now Justin had just told me something very personal. These guys just loved throwing me for loops I bet. But I could tell I was throwing them some of my own. "Wow. Um I don't know what to say. Um... geez. Are you okay now Curly?" That was definitely one thing that wasn't leaving this table...
Justin squeezed Nick's hand. "Yeah I'm better." He smiled.
"That's good." I smiled back. But from the looks still present on everyone else's faces, it didn't look like that was the end of this little confessional list the guys were pilling up.
"What do you remember about Black and Blue?" Howie asked me.
"Oh you mean the AJ rumors... those were fun to hear." I sighed.
"What rumors did you hear?" AJ asked me attentively.
"Oh just that you were also depressed, going up and down on the emotions scale all the time. Almost tried to kill yourself one time." I listed off to AJ.
AJ sat back in his chair. "Damn. I don't think we ever gave our fans enough credit."
"Why? Is that one true too?" I asked.
"Yeah." AJ sighed. "I was diagnosed as a manic depressant during the tour."
"Shit. This stuff is getting deep. I think I see why you're leavin'."
"So you think we have good enough reasons?" Chris asked me.
"Yeah, and for some reason I have a feeling that's not the end of our discussion." I said as the waiter brought me my pasta.
"Nope, it's not. Believe me when I say, the shit we could tell you about the last ten years could fit an entire library." Kevin told me.
"And I have a feeling you aren't kidding." I stated as I twirled the pasta onto my fork. "Okay... since we've started this ball rolling might as well finish it. Anything else? Not to sound like I want to know everything or something, but you might as well spill all that you want to now."
"Why don't you tell us and we'll tell you if it's true. I don't know about the rest of the fellas, but I want to see how much other stuff the fans have picked up about us." Howie said.
"Okay sure, I guess. That is if the rest of you don't have a problem with it." I heard a chorus of no's and not really's as I swallowed my pasta. "Okay then... here's a biggie. You've all done the bottle, and weed. Especially Joey and AJ."
Joey and AJ looked at me wide-eyed. "God damn they're quick."
"But they never caught me huh." A small voice said to my left.
I turned to Chris. "Never caught what?"
"Me during Larry King."
"Damn. Don't get me started on that." I sighed. "Larry King was one interesting appearance, no one can really deny that. First of all, we had Scoopy and Spazzy over here. Do you really think that it isn't noticeable Lance when you're practically sitting in your boy's lap? Besides the lovely question on love lives. That was the best one to date." I scoffed. "And Chris, even though it was obvious Larry didn't know he was doing it until Lance caught him on it, we could tell you were hurting. No one missed out on the fact that it was forced laughter Chris. Fuck man, you looked like you were about to start bawling right there on the set. But no, I don't think many people would be surprised if it came out that you were drinking to cloud the pain." I sympathized.
"What about almost killing myself?" Chris whispered.
"You too?" Fuck this shit man, I thought to myself. Why did I ask this question again? Oh yeah me and my fucking inquisitive nature.
"Yeah," Chris swallowed the lump in his throat. "Um I kinda drank myself into an alcoholic stupor after that appearance. If Joe hadn't found me when he did, then I would have died from alcohol poisoning. As it was they had to pump my stomach for a good 4 hours and watch me overnight." Geez, Chris is older than me and I'm bringing him to near tears. Okay, time to stop this.
"Okay, wow, um. I think that maybe this should stop. I mean I've heard enough and it sounds like I'm opening up way too many closed wounds, and I'm sorry for that." I apologized.
"No Taylor, you have nothing to be sorry for." Kevin told me as he gripped my hand. "We wanted to hear what you knew, and by letting you tell the rumors you've heard, we agreed to let this out in the open with you. Clear the air." He smiled.
"Besides, if you want to be so honest with us, then we deserve to be honest with you." Brian added.
"But you're telling me way more than I really need to know. I mean, I'm just a fan, who's doing you're stupid frickin' web page for craps sakes." I babbled.
"But you said so yourself. You value our trust in you. Well we want to value your trust in us too." Howie said.
"And you asked." Justin smiled.
"That I did." I replied, knowing that over those breadsticks and pasta, a friendship had formed that I would value for a long time to come.
A loud knock on the door was the first thing I noticed as I awoke from my dream world. I had been having the best dream. I was staying in the same hotel as the guys from `NSync and the Backstreet Boys and I was going on tour with them for the next five months. I threw a pillow at the door and yelled, "Jackie, go away! I wanna sleep!" "Um Taylor, I'm not Jackie." A deep voice said from the other side of the door. I scrambled out of bed and walked to the door. I opened it to see Lance staring at me, dressed in loose jeans and a wife beater. "Yeow. I dream really hot men." I muttered as I gave my `dream Lance' a gaze up and down. Lance gave me a bizarre look and snapped his fingers in front of me. "Taylor, are you in there? I don't think Josh would appreciate it much if you jump me right here you know." That's when it hit me that I wasn't dreaming. Lance Bass was standing in front of me, in the flesh, and I was in fact on tour with the Backstreet Boys and `NSync as their web page designer. "Aw geez. You're real aren'tcha?" "From what I know." Lance was giving me a weird look. I gave him a slight poke. "Yup. You're real." "Thanks for the reassurance." Lance laughed. "No problem." I smiled. "So why are you waking me up at the un-godly hour of... 6:30 in the morning?" I asked as I walked back into the room and looked at the blaring red digits on the hotel alarm clock. "We need to be packed and ready in a half hour and I figured I'd wake you up and give you some time to get ready, take a shower and all that stuff." Lance said, walking into the room slightly as he leaned against the bathroom's doorframe. "Why thank you kind sir." "You're welcome darling." Lance said as he tipped a fake hat to me. "You are just too awake for 6 in the morning." "Six thrity." Lance corrected me. "Six, six-thirty, whatever. Anything before ten am is too early in my book." I said as I rubbed my eyes to try and get the final remnants of sleep out of them. "Oh then you'll have such a fun time on this tour. Getting up at 6:30 is a luxury for us on most days. Usually we are up for almost two hours already." "Sucks to be you." "Well you'll just have to get used to it." "Okay fine... I'll get used to it. Doesn't have to mean I'll like it." "You can ask JC about that one. He always hates getting up in the mornings." "But I bet you wake him up just fine. Just the right amount of coaxing I bet." I smirked. Lance blushed slightly. "Well we'll see you in a half hour, down at the lobby with your stuff." Lance said as he pushed himself off the door jamb and left my room. "Yeah, half hour with all my stuff. Not making any promises about my mental ability at this early hour though." "Wouldn't dream of making you keep any promises about how awake you are. You forget who I work with eleven months out of the year." Lance laughed as he started to walk down the hall. "Hey!" Chris remarked as he and Dani had just opened their hotel door and were about to leave their room to go down for an early breakfast. "Watch your mouth Bass." I laughed as I turned around and closed the door, ready to go take a shower. ********** A half hour later I stood down in the lobby with my two bags. Everyone else in the immediate Backstreet/'NSync crew was there, except for Trent and Kevin, who were dealing with the hotel bill. Minutes later the duo walked back over and Trent told us, "Okay buses should be out back in a few minutes. I just got the radio in from Luke that said they were on their way. Now the only thing we have to deal with is bus situations." "You guys didn't deal with that yet?" I asked as I pulled my still wet hair into a ponytail. "No, we figured we be the gentlemen that we are and let you choose bus first." AJ said. "Gentlemen, psh." Leighanne laughed under her breath. "You saying we aren't the perfect gentlemen?" Brian asked his wife. "Far far far from it Bri." Dani laughed. "Why do I not find that hard to believe?" I laughed with the other women in the group. "Cause it's true?" Amanda said innocently. "Whatever." AJ scoffed. "But they're right. The buses haven't been given out yet cause they wanted to wait for you." Trent said. "Why thank you." I mock curtsied. "No problem girl." Nick smiled. "What're we doing again today?" Joey asked sleepily from his perch next to his girlfriend on the loveseat they were sharing. Glad to know I'm not the only non-morning person. "Bus check, radio interview, sound check and lunch, both at the stadium again, then meet and greet." Lance listed easily. "Yahoo." Joey yawned as he rested against Crystal. "Wake me when the buses get here." "Which is now. Sorry Joe." Trent smiled apologetically as he came over with his trusty clipboard. I remember the guys telling me Trent had actually worked with *NSync on their last two tours, so he was very sympathetic towards them. Backstreet had also worked with Trent on one of their earlier tours, so when the boys of *NSync suggested the man, no one had a problem with it. "How many do we got Trent?" Brian asked as everyone walked out to the back parking lot where the buses were parked. "Five for now, but once the girls leave it's going down to four, maybe three." Trent informed them. "Okay." "Single ladies first." AJ smiled. "Anything bad about any of the buses?" I asked Trent before I decided to make my decision. "Now why would we rent a bad bus?" Chris asked. "I don't know. You tell me." I smiled. "Oh no, you'll never get those stories out of me." "That's because half the time you were the one who screwed around with the buses." JC laughed. "Quiet you." "No Taylor, there isn't anything wrong with the busses." Trent laughed. "Now... time to choose a bus." I said as I closed my eyes. All five of the buses looked pretty much the same, and knowing these guys love to travel in the lap of luxury, I knew there wasn't going to be any skimping on the inside interior. Time to play my favorite game. "Taylor why are your eyes closed?" Justin asked. "You'll see." I said aloud as I pointed to the first bus. My memory has always been pretty good, so I was able to point to the first bus blinded no problem. "Iney meanie miny mo..." "You're kidding me!" AJ laughed as I played the oldest childhood selection game ever created. "... my mother said to pick the very best one and you are it!" I opened my eyes and looked at the bus I had blindly selected. It was the third one from the front, and was mostly a gold color with black tinted windows, and silver swirls in the paint on the side. "Cool." I smiled. Turning to AJ I said, "Don't knock the game boy. It's been used for eons when you have no idea what to do. I'm sure you've used it now and again." "Yeah boy." Chris laughed as I walked away towards the bus, dragging my bags with me. Walking inside, I passed the kitchen area, as well as the smaller lounge area, going right to the four beds that were stacked two on each side, selecting one of the lower bunks. I toss around the bed all night, so I've never tried to sleep in a bed that is more than three feet off the ground. "Home sweet home." "That moves and goes bump in the night." I heard Nick's voice over my shoulder. Dropping my bags inside the curtained space, I turned around to see both Nick and Justin pilling their things into the bus. "Hey boys. What brings you here?" "We're bunking with ya." "Oh you are?" "Yeah, we like you, so it was easy to say we'd bunk with you." Justin smiled. "So who's going where?" "The three musketeers will be on the same bus." Nick said quickly. "Lance, JC and Joey. You'll find out why real quick." Justin laughed, answering my question before I even asked it. "The cousins together I bet... but that leaves two buses and three couples. That doesn't equal out boys." "Usually never does. That's what happens when you have an uneven number of people on tour." Justin said. "But we're never really all on different buses at the same time. Hell we had five buses for the Black and Blue tour, but most of the time we stayed on Kev's bus..." "Annoying the shit out of him I bet." I laughed. "Hey, how'd you know that?" Nick asked me innocently. "Wild guess." I smiled. "Real wild." Justin said sarcastically. "Now don't go accusing me of stuff..." "... that we know you wouldn't dream of doing. Yeah, yeah. Heard it before." Justin smiled as he kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. "Taylor, this boy has `not done anything' one too many times to count." "Hey! Watch what you're saying there Curly." Nick said accusingly. "You never know what could happen." "Like you'd do anything bad to your little Juju." The three of us heard from the front section of the bus. Turning around, the three of us saw AJ leaning against the wood paneling in the kitchen area. "Time to go to an interview boys. Taylor, wanna come?" AJ asked. "Sure let me just make sure I've got everything." I said as I grabbed my backpack and opened it, checking to make sure I had all my things for the day. Seeing that my camera, laptop, Discman, folder and notebook were squared away, I zipped my bag back up and hoisted it onto my shoulder. "Interview time." I smiled as I led the three boys off the bus and over to the SUVs parked nearby. To Be Continued... Would anyone believe me if I said I was actually working on chapter 13 of Picking Up the Pieces?? Well I am... Really I am. --Jess Email: Midnight_Violet18@hotmail.com Site: insidebubble.cjb.net Merry Christmas to all, and a happy new year!!!