Hello all, I'm getting the hang of this posting malarky now! So here is a sideline story that is a lot easier to write than the Gift of the Second Prime over in the SciFi section. That story is an opus, read it it's fabulous, even if I do say so myself! This one is just fun - holiday reading.
So, for those of you that don't live in the south of England, welcome to the world of Pir Michaels, a sexually ambivalent twenty-four year old stumbling through his life in the hope that something awesome will happen. Whether it does or doesn't is the theme of this story.
As always, characters are important to me, so this first outing is an introduction to the characters, not all of them, just the ones important at the moment. There will be sex, but like the real thing, it doesn't leap out at you from the kitchen cupboard - well not to most of us anyway!
This is fluff, OK? Accents are English as is the language, if anyone needs anything translated let me know. You should be able to work any word differences out from the context, I hope! Enjoy and let me know what you think. All comments will be gratefully received.
Remember, truth is stranger than fiction!
Mandijerri
Green is my Favourite Colour, Part 1: June 1st (Party with Shabs)
The music stopped.
Pir was sitting on the front steps of a large terraced house somewhere in London. Alone, vaguely drunk, cold and out of cigarettes. Not the best end to an evening. Less than an hour ago he had been the filling between to lovely beauties, and on this step as well.
Now they were gone, off home with some other friends who had been at the party. And here he was. The filling without the beauty.
The beast?
He laughed and pulled himself to his feet, wiping dust off his backside as he used the metal railing to guide him back into the house.
"Hi." He said to a strange girl he hadn't seen before.
She had come out of the living room and was making her way down the corridor.
"Yeah?" She asked, not stopping.
"I came with Shabs. You seen him?"
"Monique's guy?" She called from the downstairs bathroom where she had now taken up residence.
He remembered Shabs mentioning something about a girl called Monique. This was, he thought, her party or one of housemates parties.
"Yeah, Know where they are?"
"Kitchen or back garden." She called out.
"Thanks."
He wandered back through the house. It was a large rambling thing, he remembered a girl he had spoken to earlier saying that it was her family's old house. They lived down by the coast now, Brighton he seemed to remember, so she and her friends had taken up residence here.
Nice. He wished he had friends with big houses in London! The ground floor of this place was twice the size of his entire cluster house back in Milton Keynes. At least he owned that, though....
Right, like that made a difference. If he could live in London...
He'd be broke and on the streets destitute!
At least in MK he had a job, earned some money. London was too enticing, too many parties, too much to do. He wouldn't have time to work if he lived down here! "Shabs!" He called as he came into the kitchen.
It was empty.
He went over to the back door and looked out. The land sloped away from the back of the house and a tall metal stair led down to the garden below. A couple of sheds, one of them doubling up as the bar for the evening, had been squashed under the house here.
The garden was long and narrow. A stand of trees at the bottom shielded the place from the railway line that, even at this time of night, was remarkably noisy.
"Shabs!" He called from the stop of the stairs.
"Mate!" Came the reply a few moments later, from inside the house.
He turned and went back through the kitchen. Shabs was coming down the stairs. He was wearing just his jeans and carrying a blanket over his arm.
"Hey." He said. "Monique wanted me to stay... she said you could sleep in the lounge. There's a settee there..."
"I'll be fine." Pir laughed. "Go get some!"
"You?"
"Lucked out."
"Sorry mate. See you in the morning?"
"Yeah."
He took the blanket and went back into the living room. The settee, a large white corner thing, had been pushed right back into the corner of the room for the party. Cups and bottles littered the floor. He didn't want to spend the night sleeping with them.
Grabbing bottles, cups and glasses as he went, Pir finally managed to empty the room of most of the detritus. The kitchen table would need some work, though, but that, thankfully, would be someone else's job. He took off his shoes and settled onto one of the wings of the settee, pulling the blanket up around him.
It was cold in here and...
He needed a piss!
Sighing he hauled himself off the uncomfortable settee, designed for slouching not sleeping, and made his way down the very cold hall to the toilet. There was a gale blowing through the letterbox, and another under the back door in the kitchen. The cracked window in the toilet wasn't exactly keeping what little heat there was in either. It might be June, but it still felt like spring.
He flushed, washed hands quickly in the kitchen, dried them on the back of his jeans and ran back into the living room. Diving under the blanket, head bashing straight into the head of the guy lying on the other wing of the settee.
"Jeez!" Pir cried, rubbing his head. "Sorry man, where the fuck did you come from?"
"Garden." He smiled, also rubbing his head. "Turned around and the party was over. Lost my ride so blagged half a sofa. You?"
"You know the nerdy guy at work, the one you feel sorry for so you hang with him?"
"Yeah."
"He scored, I lucked out. He's upstairs in girl heaven and I'm sleeping on the couch."
"Bummer."
"And it's so fucking cold! Don't they have heating in London?"
"Clearly not. Name's Bay, but the way. Short for Baker."
A hand snaked out of the blanket and over Bay's head.
"Pir." Pir said shaking the hand, a damn sight warmer than his was. "Short for Pir, apparently."
"Cool."
They were silent for a moment.
"This is not working." Bay said slipping around and sitting up. "How's your blanket working?"
"Badly."
"OK, have a plan. There's loads of alcohol in the kitchen. What say we make a dash for it, get it, come back in here, double up the blankets and then sit under them and drink everything in the house until someone throws us out?"
"Like your thinking."
"OK, but fast mind, it's freezing out there."
"Right, go!" Pir laughed.
They both sprinted into the kitchen. Pir found some empty glasses and grabbed two bottles of wine. Bay found a tray and packed it full of the remaining cans and bottles. Once loaded they slipped and slid on the wooden floor back into the living room.
"I feel like I'm breaking some rules or something!" Pir laughed as he piled the bottles on the sofa next to him and slipped under the two blankets.
"Nah." Bay said. "I know girls. All this lot will end up down the sink tomorrow. We are saving the alcohol! Give me your glass there's enough vodka left for two shots. No mixers though, wasn't enough room on the tray."
"Straight is fine by me." Pir said as he accepted the glass.
"Cheers." Bay laughed and they clinked glasses. "To saving the alcohol!"
"Saving alcohol!" Pir laughed and they downed the shots.
"Next?" Bay asked. "What have you got?"
"Wine, one red one reddish. The reddish one is a white Zinfandel, although I think someone's mixed some red in it, it's not white anymore! The others a Merlot, any good?"
"It's got a Tesco's label on it." Bay pointed out, "So I doubt it. "Let's go for not white, white Zinfandel."
"Works for me."
Pir screwed the lid off then filled their glasses with the wine.
"Cheers." Bay said.
"Cheers." Pir replied.
They sipped and then gulped some wine.
"Jesus that's rough!" Pir laughed. "Don't hold out much hope for the red!"
"Maybe we'll do some... pear cider next. Lovely!" Bay laughed.
"Who the hell came to this party?" Pir laughed. "I don't remember anyone looking like they were pear cider drinkers!"
"Probably found it in the back of their mum's cupboard." Bay laughed. "At least I brought cheap lager."
"Yeah, and us. Found the bottles of kronenburg in the bar though and stuck with them in the end."
"Hah! And me."
"More?"
"Would be rude to leave some in the bottle." Bay said as Pir shared the last of the Zinfandel out between the two glasses.
"Could do with a fag now." Pir muttered. "Got any?"
"Nah. Smoked the last about an hour ago."
"Yeah. me too. Can't drink and not smoke!"
"Saw an all night shop down the road when I came in." Bay noted. "We could go and buy some."
"Yeah, but then we'd be locked out. I live in Milton Keynes, no trains until tomorrow morning."
"I live about 2 miles away in Islington. We could take some of this lot, get some fags and walk back to mine."
"But I hardly know you!" Pir laughed.
"We'll introduce ourselves on the way."
"Deal. I saw some bags in the kitchen. You got everything?"
"Yeah."
"OK."
Pir ran back out of the room and retuned a moment later with another two bottles of wine and four large carrier bags. They doubled them up and filled them with everything they could fit.
"Shoes are in the hall." Pir said.
"And mine." Bay said.
The pulled on shoes then slipped out of the house.
"Now I feel like I'm doing something wrong!" Bay laughed as they started up the street. "We just stole all their alcohol!"
"Shouldn't have turned their backs on us then." Pir said as they walked up to the end of the road. "Have you walked here before?"
"Yeah, my sister lives there and when I'm on a health kick I'll walk over and we'll go out for lunch or something. Got a taxi last night." He laughed grabbing his belly. "Not on a health kick at the moment."
"Me either." Pir said as he handed Bay a bottle of beer. "It's one of the cheap ones I brought." He smiled. "Sorry."
"Well, we knew we'd have to drink them in the end!"
The shop came into view. A small local supermarket, not much bigger than the living room in the house they had just left, but it sold everything and all night long.
"You stay here with the booze." Bay said as he went into the shop. "I'll get the fags. Want chocolate?"
"Yeah. Here." He added handing Bay a tenner. "Get me forty."
"Any particular flavour?"
"B&H?"
"I'll see what they've got."
"Pir finished his beer and threw the bottle into a pile of cardboard boxes next to a boarded up shop.
It was still cold, but the alcohol was clearly working. Cigarettes would help as well. Not with warming him up, but making him feel better. Cheap wine and vodka were not sitting well in his stomach at the moment!
Bay came out a moment later and handed Pir two packets of cigarettes, and indiscriminate chocolate bar and a pile of change.
"Cheers." Pir said as he dropped the change into his back pocket and everything else, apart from one of the packs of cigarettes into the carrier bag with the alcohol. "You want one?" He asked as he opened the packet and offered one to Bay.
"Thanks." He said, offering Pir a light.
They both breathed in the heady smoke, then picked up their bags and carried on walking.
"I have got to give this up." Bay said as they crossed over a small junction, silent this time of night.
"One day." Pir agreed. "What have you got in your bag, all I've got is cheap beer and wine!"
"Cider?"
"Apple or pear?"
"Mostly pear."
"Go on then, I'll give it a go."
Bay fished out two bottles, they opened them and then clinked them together.
"Cheers."
"And to you."
A sip of the cider then:
"Fuck me, how much sugar in that?" Pir complained.
"Still drinking it though."
"Well yeah, every bloody drop."
To their left the Spurstowe Arms came and went. Leafy hackney began to give way to more urban Hackney as the Wilton Estate, a large agglomeration of flats, hove into view on the left as well. They could hear music coming out of several of the flat windows.
"Sounds like their parties are still going." Bay said. "Think we should crash one?"
"We've got the alcohol."
"They've got the guns."
"And the drugs."
"Yeah. Maybe we'll give it a miss." Bay laughed.
"They probably haven't got any heating, you know what London's like!" Pir added.
"Yeah, and the music's shit!"
"Well it's not that bad."
"No, you're right. Could shift a move to some of it."
"Beer?"
"Reckon. Need to get rid of the taste of pear!" Bay said as they stopped to drop their empty bottles into a bin pushed out to the edge of the road by its owner.
"Shouldn't we have recycled that?" Pir asked.
"I don't think they collect that until Wednesday." Bay smiled. "So regular rubbish it becomes."
"Here's to regular rubbish." Pir laughed as they clinked two bottles of beer and carried on down the street.
Wilton Way, the sign said, and Pir toasted the street as well.
"How much do you have to pay for a house around here?" Pir asked as the flats gave way once more to small terraced houses.
"Don't know." Bay mused. "Much the same as anywhere around here, I suppose. A two bed flat for about three hundred and twenty."
"Jesus!" Pir laughed. "You could buy a four bed house for that in Milton Keynes."
"True, but that's not London."
"You're right." Pir said. "It certainly isn't London. You can't buy fags and chocolate at..." He stopped to look at his watch. "Four o'clock in the morning."
"Shit, is that the time?"
"Yeah, sorry!"
"Dog's going to be pissed when we get in."
"You've got a dog?"
"Yeah, Caddy, or shithead, he answers to both."
"What sort?"
"Bitsa?"
"Best type."
"That's what I thought." Bay agreed.
"How long is this road?" Pir asked.
"Not long now - well to the end of the road. Miles to my place!"
"Great. Need another ciggie."
"Have one of mine."
"OK. Need more beer yet?"
"What else have you got?" Bay asked as he lit two cigarettes and passed one to Pir.
"Two bottles of the finest White Zinfandel Tesco's has to offer!"
"Think we could drink one each without throwing up?"
"Nope."
"Open one then, we'll share."
"No splash back though!" Pir laughed. "Can't be doing with other people's spit.
"Yeah, especially when its mixed with Zinfandel!"
Pir cracked open the bottle and flicked the screw cap into an open bin. He took a swig and passed the bottle to Bay.
"I can see the end of the road." Pir said after a minute. "Race you!"
"You sure?"
"Positive."
They set off at a run to the end of the road, narrowly avoiding a large taxi that turned in at the last minute without indicating.
"Stop!" Bay called, leaning against the fence that ran around the front of the Prince George Pub. "Out of breath."
"Give me the wine." Pir demanded. "It's obviously slowing you down!"
"Yeah." Bay laughed, leaning over to catch his breath. "That would be it!"
"Which way now?" Pir asked offering the bottle then taking some more when Bay refused.
"Right."
"Then right we will go. Come on!" Pir laughed.
He came over and put his arms around Bay's shoulders. Together they marched up the street.
"Wine!" Bay ordered."
Pir passed it over.
"Nice area." He said as they wandered around the bend in Parkholme Road.
"Hackney's like that." Bay said. "Good and bad all in one."
"But you live in Islington."
"The squeeze of the time lived there. I moved in, he fucked off to Thailand and hasn't been back since. I bought the flat off him two years ago and have lived there ever since."
"You gay then?"
"I'm not apologising." Bay laughed, taking the bottle back from Pir. "We've shared spit now, so you've probably caught it to!"
"Oh well!" Pir smiled. "If the dog can cope I'm sure I can!"
"Hah! You should see the dog!" Bay laughed. "Camp as a row of tents, as my mother would say!"
"That's almost funny." Pir said, depositing the bottle in another bin. "What's next?"
"Beer?"
"Then beer it is." Pir said, fishing in his bag and handing over a bottle. "Cheers!"
"Cheers." Bay said. "You don't have to keep your arm around my shoulder. I can walk now."
"Yeah, but I'm not sure I can!" Pir smiled.
"OK. This may take longer than planned."
"What?"
"Getting back to my place."
"Yeah. Quicker than getting back to mine."
"Right. Where is that?"
"Milton Keynes!"
"Heard the name, don't know the place."
"Good for you. I do."
They came to a crossroads and had to wait for the morning traffic to pass before they could cross.
"Where are we?" Pir asked.
"Dalston."
"Isn't there a song about that? Don't go back to Dalston..."
"Don't know it."
"Yeah you do. Razorlight!" Pir laughed remembering.
He launched into the chorus.
"Maybe." Bay laughed.
"God I'm hungry." Pir said, wandering over to the window of the Ing Ting Carribean takeaway and looking at the menu.
"There's an Indian next door."
"Curry." Pir said. "Good beer food is that."
He dropped his beer bottle into a bin and lit up a cigarette.
"You want one?"
"Nah. Have another beer though."
"OK." Pir pulled a bottle from his bag and passed it over.
"You not having one?"
"Zinfandel and beer - needs time to get to know each other better before I add more."
"Yeah. My stomach's used to it though." Bay said. "I worked out a long time ago if I feed it shit it makes it strong."
"Good philosophy." Pir said, stumbling on the word. "Getting busy!"
Five or six cars at a time were coming down the road now.
"Shops getting ready to open."
"It's not five yet!"
"We're in London."
"Might get a curry yet!"
"You might at that!" Bay laughed
Shops lined both sides of the street and Pir stopped outside one, called Dalston Motors, and laughed.
"What?" Bay asked.
"It's that bloody song!" Pir laughed. "I've sung that forever, but never knew where Dalston was! Now I'm here and I can't remember the bloody words! I should call Johnny."
"Who?"
"Johnny Borrell, the lead singer and guitarist."
"Nope."
"Not into music?"
"I know what I like. But don't have time anymore."
"Need beer." Pir said fishing into the bag and helping himself. "Only four left he added. "What about you?"
"Got another wine, some more pear shit and some real cider I think."
"I can't usually do cider." Pir said. "But times are desperate. When the beer runs out we may have to."
"Deal." Bay laughed.
They wandered up the road in silence for a time. Other people were beginning to appear on the pavement as well.
"One good thing about London." Pir said as they came up to a major road junction at the end of Dalston Lane. There's lots of food!"
"You want noodles then?" Bay joked as they passed a Noodle Bar.
"Anything." Pir said. "It's getting desperate now!"
"Not going to be much open yet. Not even McDonalds." Bay said as they passed a closed McDonalds store. "Did you eat your chocolate?"
"Shit!" Pir said, fishing it out of his bag. "Well remembered Batman!" He opened the wrapper and took a bite. "Want some?"
"No, but another beer."
"Here you go, my friend." Pir laughed as he passed over a bottle. "Never." He said, holding the chocolate bar up in front of him, "Has a Snickers bar tasted so good!"
"Come on!" Bay laughed as he pulled Pir left past a Ladbrokes and down a small street. "We're in Islington now."
"Good. Almost home."
"Almost home." Bay agreed.
"So," Pir said finishing the chocolate and helping himself to another beer. "Thai man. What happened?"
"Hah!" Bay laughed. "He was Welsh actually!"
"Interesting combination, Thai and Welsh."
"Not really." Bay laughed. "Met him at a party. One thing led to another. A year later I moved in, a year later he moved out!"
"Nice. You pick up lots of guys at parties?"
"It's a habit." Bay smiled, "Sorry."
"Apology accepted." Pir said as they crossed a narrow bridge over the railway line. "We must look like a couple of tramps!" Pir laughed. Put your stuff in this bag."
They stopped at the end of the bridge and redistributed the load. Dropping the empty bags and two more bottles into another bin.
"Someone's going to see us doing that soon and start shouting." Bay laughed as they took a handle each of the bag and continued.
"They would do that?"
"It's London." Bay smiled. "Of course they would!"
A Costcutter Supermarket, closed, passed on their right. A sign above it told them they were on Boleyn Road, Islington N16.
"Did she live down here then?" Pir asked.
"Who?"
"Ann Boleyn?" Pir asked.
"That was very random. I think we need cider!" Bay laughed reaching into the bag and passing a can across to Pir.
"I hate this stuff!"
"I know. But needs must."
"Yeah, and when your needs must..."
"You drink cider?"
"Something like that!" Pir laughed as he opened the can and took a swig. "At least it's not as bad as the Pear shit!"
"Very true." Bay added. "What about you though?" He asked. "I've given you a potted life history. What about you? How'd you end up in Milton Keynes?"
He picked up the bag and they started down another street, St Jude Street, according to the new sign.
"Family come from Buckingham." Pir explained. "MK is the biggest town around, got a job there and eventually moved in, so to speak. You live in one of these?" He added, indicating the flats that were passing on their left.
"No, but not long now." Bay said. "You own, live alone, what?"
"I own a cluster house."
"What the fuck is a cluster house?" Bay laughed.
"Four houses in one. Two at the front and two at the back. You get your own front door and the bedroom and bathroom are upstairs. I have a small garden, but no back door."
"Right. Sounds lovely."
"That's what I thought. Neighbours are too loud and there's too many of them!"
"Sounds like my place!" Bay laughed. "So, one bed, you sleep in it alone?"
"What?" Pir said. "Why the sudden interest in my sex life?"
"I need to know what sort of sex it is!" Bay laughed. "I'm spending a lot of time on you. Need to know what sort of payback I'm aiming for!"
"After this lot?" Pir laughed. "You'd have more luck with the dog!"
"You're right." Bay said. "All I need at the moment is sleep."
"But I'm of no particular persuasion." Pir said.
"What does that mean?"
"I'm open to persuasion." Pir added, tossing his drink can into a passing bin. "Never been with a guy before but am not averse to it, if you know what I mean."
"Hmmm. Fresh meat." Bay laughed. "Might be able to save you yet!"
"Right. You are going to need a gallon of water and a box of paracetemol first!"
"Why?"
"Hangover prevention!"
"Oh yeah! Got that covered, don't worry."
They came to the end of the road and turned left at Old Henry's Freehouse before jumping across the road and walking past the church of St Judes and St Michael. The railway line was in a culvert on their left and they walked up Midmay Grove.
"And now?" Bay asked as he threw his can away.
"Wine?"
"Go for it." Bay said as Pir took the cap of the last of the wine.
"It's tasting better." Pir said as he took a mouthful and passed it to Bay.
"Good. We've got pear cider again next!"
"Let's hope this lasts to yours then!"
"Let's hope!" Bay laughed as he took another mouthful. "We're almost there anyway."
"Good." Pir said as he lit two cigarettes and passed one to Bay. "You want any more of this?"
"No, you?"
"No." Pir said.
They stopped at a bin, opened it and tossed the bag inside.
"We'll finish the wine, though!" Pir laughed.
"Of course." Bay said. "Come on!" He added. "Run!"
They dashed across Newington Green Road and onto Grosvenor Road.
"Are we there yet?" Pir said as he caught his breath on the other side of the road.
"Almost. Up here to the station and then right. We'll get a taxi next time!"
"Good." Pir smiled. "Come on then!" He added. "It's nearly five and I need to sleep!"
"What about eating?"
"Food's for wimps!"
"Sure?"
"No, but I need sleep more now!"
"And me!" Bay agreed.
They came to a small round-about. Pir could see the station signs over by a parade of shops. They turned right onto Petherton Road.
"Next corner." Bay said. "That block of flats there on the left. Pondfield house. I live in number four."
"Here's to Pondfield House." Pir laughed as he took another swig and passed the bottle to Bay.
"Pondfield House." Bay laughed, dropping the empty bottle into a bin.
They climbed a low fence and walked around some grass to the back. Bay took them into the building through a door that opened onto a row of garages.
"Smells nice." Pir laughed.
"That would be Glyn." Bay said. "Sweet old thing that sprays air freshener constantly! Here it is."
He opened the door to a flat and ushered Pir inside. A moment later and a dog came snuffling around his feet.
"He likes you." Bay said. "Coffee or bed?"
"Water, tablets then Bed."
"Kitchen first." Bay laughed. "This way."
End