This story contains gay themes and graphic depictions of homosexuality. If this offends you, then you probably shouldn't read it. I welcome any and all comments and appreciate all of the feedback I have previously received. I know it's been a while since the last chapter, life has been busy. I'd also like to say thanks to the folks at Nifty
I awoke to the incessant ringing of the phone. I dragged myself over to the phone and picked it up.
"Hello" I said
"Parker?" I recognized the voice immediately. It was Chris.
"Yes" I responded.
"It's Chris" he said. My knees felt weak. Bastard, I thought.
"What's up?" I asked trying to sound casual.
"I saw you on the news, Are you alright?" he asked.
Expressing concern after all this time, was he serious?
"I'm fine" I responded coldly. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds.
"Um, how've you been" he asked.
"Good. You?" I asked. I really wanted to know but tried to sound like I didn't care.
"I, uh, I stopped by your place a while back." he said. I flinched.
"What?" I asked. "When," I continued.
"It was a couple of weeks ago," he began. "I was out looking for something to do. No wait, that doesn't sound right" he continued.
"Chris," I began.
"No, let me get this out. I fucked up. I panicked, okay, I panicked." he said. "I spent a lot of time telling you I was looking for a relationship, and when you presented it I freaked." he continued.
I tried to focus. What was he saying? He didn't want a relationship, or he didn't want a relationship with me. My throat was dry.
"Say something, please" Chris said.
"What do you want me to say, Chris" I asked.
"Can I come over there?" he asked.
"I don't think that would be a good idea." I said.
"I just want to chance to explain" he said.
"Would it really do any good?" I asked
"I'm just asking for the chance" he said.
An hour later there was a knock at my door. I had showered and dressed. Initially I wanted him to be bowled over by my appearance, but I thought no, and settled on some simple slacks and a loose fitting button down shirt. Chris looked great in some oversized jeans and Homestead Grays baseball jersey and cap.
"Hi" he said, looking at me sheepishly from under the cap that he had half tilted on his head.
"Come on in" I said
He leaned in for a kiss as he passed me and I pulled away. I regretted it almost instantly. He had a way of looking so hurt by the little things I did to get back at him. He continued past me and went into the living room. He sat down on the couch.
"Make yourself at home" I said sarcastically.
"Can we at least be civil?" he asked
"Sorry" I said.
"Okay, try not to interrupt me, please" he began.
"Okay" I said.
He then proceeded to tell me about what was happening when I came to visit him in Pittsburgh and why he left.
There was a part of him that felt like he had to protect his family. There were people in Pittsburgh that did not know he was gay. He also had his siblings to think about. I understood. I knew about protecting your family. I just wished he had enough faith in me, in us, to have told me the truth at the time. I thought about how hypocritical that sounded after all of the things I had done. I suddenly had the urge to come clean, but this was his moment. A thousand things were running through my mind. Feelings, emotions things I couldn't even put into words. Chris was still talking.
"...so I just pulled away." he was saying.
"Chris, right here, right now, I'm afraid of you" I said.
"What I'm telling you is the truth" he began, "You can trust me this time" he continued.
I wanted to say, I trusted you last time, but I had messed up too.
"Time" I said.
"What?" he asked.
"I need time" I said.
"No, the need for time and space was what fucked us up the first time" he said.
"Chris..." I began
"No" he was more adamant now.
He stood up and walked over to where I was sitting, and knelt down.
"I love you" he said.
I felt like my heart would explode.
"Do you love me?" he asked.
"Chris..."
"Don't think just answer" he said.
I thought I would hesitate, but the words just spilled forth.
"Yes, yes Chris, I love you"
"Baby, for real?" he asked as if he didn't believe what he had heard.
He took my face in his hands, "I want to call my Mom" he said.
"What?" I asked
"She said I'd never get you back" he said as he dialed his cell. "It's ringing," he said handing me the phone. "You tell her"
"This is your moment" I began "You tell her" I continued.
"This is OUR moment, it'll mean more coming from you" he said.
I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, but I took the phone.
"Hello?" a voice answered. It was one of Chris' siblings.
"Hi, who's this?" I asked.
"Who's this?!" came the response.
Suddenly there was silence. Then Chris' Mom spoke.
"Hello?" She said.
"Hi, Wanda, It's Parker." I started. "From Colorado"
"Hi, How are you?" she asked, but I could hear the concern in her voice.
"I'm fine. I'm here with Chris." I said.
"Oh, is everything okay?" she asked.
I looked at Chris and smiled. "Everything is great" I responded.
"So, my boy came to his senses?" she asked.
"I'd say we both did" I responded.
Well, that's nice" she said. "I have some greens on the stove, so I'm gonna have to call you back, but y'all take care and ask Chris to call me later. I love you, hon" she said.
Chris took the phone from me and responded. "I love you too, Mama"
After he hung up, we just sat there for a while. I was enjoying the warmth and comfort of being with the man I loved. Then something came to me. Wyatt, Martin and the past couple of months. I needed to explain to Chris. I was not going to make the same mistakes again. I looked at him. He was so beautiful. I hoped I was not going to fuck this up.
"Chris" I began. But he stopped me. He kissed me as tenderly as I've ever been kissed. It was a long passionate kiss of someone that one person makes when they realize they've just declared their love for someone else.
I clung to that kiss. I never wanted it to end. When we finally broke apart, he looked at me with such passion that I knew he wanted to make love. No words were spoken, but then, none needed to be. Chris undressed me, and showered each body part with kisses as he did so. This was not a planned fuck. It was spontaneous. It was deliberate but not thought out. I didn't feel that it was rehearsed. When I was completely naked, he stood above me and started to remove his own clothing. It reminded me of the first night we were together. I studied his perfectly muscled body. Every movement was a treat. The way his muscles rippled when he removed his shirt. The sheer grace of him removing his pants. And then there was the beauty of him standing there in his underwear. The man could make a common pair of boxers beautiful. I caught my breath as he stood upright and smiled down at me. He reached for the elastic waistband of his boxers, but I stopped him.
I took his hand and led him to the bedroom.
(To Be Continued)