"well Jay i know that all your ex's are here must make you feel weird right" said Paul
"no not at all." i said
"Jay all of them still have feelings for you, you know that right." said Kasey.
"yeah i know"
"so what are you going to do" said Shane
"well..." i said.
"whatever your decision we are all adults and can handel it" said Kevin
"ok listen i have my choice."
"ok let's hear it." said Kasey
"well you guys. I have some one and the person and i have know each other for a long time"
"so it's Paul" said Kevin
"no it's not, the person has always been true to me"
"so it's Kasey" said Shane.
"no it's not. I have been through hell with this person."
"gotta be Shane." said Paul
"nope not Shane either. The person well he is... The man is me. And he'll love me more than ya'll ever know. And what i need know is love. Love of myself. I choose none because i am not trying to make anyone feel bad about themselves. Don't you guys understand i'm trying to let go let go of the feelings the pain that stored inside me. I can't choose. I won't choose. It's not fair and it's not right. Sure i could have sex with you guys monday through friday and take a break on the weekends but who am i kidding i have never been the fucking freak of all of us. Hell Paul you can go to Shane, Kevin can stay with Justin, and Kasey you got a man. So you guys choose." i siad
Then I walked away. I know i was loseing not one not two but four sexy ass men. But if i'm not true to myself then tha scares me. Because that means they know they can do me wrong and keep going. I'm not going to be that man i refuse to be.
"Jay i choose Paul" said Shane.
"I choose Paul" said Kevin
"i choose Paul" said Kasey
"what are you guys talking about" i said
"you want us to choose. We made our choice. We choose Paul." siad Kasey
"Have fun in the foursome then."
"no not like that Jay we know how long you loved Paul he was your very first love. You were also really young when you fell for him. We know it crushes your heart to see him leave. Thats why we want you to be with Paul, thats our choice. If you are willing to take him back then non of us will have a problem with it."
Everyone shook their heads. I saw Paul. Come out of the door he left after i said that the man i wanted t be with was me. They all stood off to the side making a pathway for Paul to come to me. Paul walked up to me grabbed my hands and hugged me. It felt diffrent for some reason like this hug was a insurace tha my heart would never be broken again. I liked this insurance. I knew I wanted Paul. >From then on i knew it was final I was with Paul. But how long would it last. I wanted forever. But the question is... Would it.
"well Jay i'm really happy for you two." Said Kasey.
"yeah me to Jay." said Shane
"well all though i wish we lasted longer. I wish for you to the best." said Kevin.
"thank you guys, for being mature and reasonable. It means alot." I said
Weeks went past and every thing was going great. I decided on what college i was going to be attending. I graduated with a 3.7 gpa.every thing was going really well. Justin ened up with Kevin, Shane ended up with the really hot cop, Kasey found him a boyfriend named Jaun. All of us were extremley happy but in the town of silversprings some had to break that. One night we all went and a date we went down to the river were i was knocked in a few months ago and just hung out there talking and joking. We had some liqour and we dranked a little played spin the bottle. Nothing to serious just a little kiss. For some reason mines always landed on Paul and Pauls would always land on me. That made me happy. Paul told us he would be right back he grabed his bag and walked away into the woods. I had no idea were he was going but to me. I tought he just had to use the bathroom. Paul was gone for more than the normal piss time. I went in the woods to look for him Paul was sitting on a log. He had a needle in his hand i saw him draw incelin from the tube in to the surenge. Then injected it into his arm. I walked over to him. He looked at me then he walked away.
"Paul wait were are you going."
"I'm sorry Jay I didn't want you to find out."
"that you diabetic. So what, I love you the same and you still mean the same to me. why would i look at you diffrently. If anything i want to support you baby."
"Jay thats the thing i don't want you to be worrying about me weather i took my meds or if i had my shot today. You have a shitload of things going for you."
"the best thing i got going for me right now is you. I love you Paul i always have and i always will."
"Jay i know you love me. I love you to. Promise me that you are going to be by my side forever. Promise you will never leave me. Promise we won't argue over stupid things. Promise me Jay Promise me."
"I love you Paul. I promise you we will be together. I promise you we will stay by each others side for ever. I promise you we wonmt let little thing get in our way. You are who i want and no one can take that from me."
When we went back to the guys were pretty wasted. I didn't have that much to drink so i was going to drive home. On the way home we stoped passed the gas staion to pick up some latenight snacks and some gas. Shane walked inside with Adam. Their was a man their stealing some thing the guy and the clerk was argueing Adam being a cop walked over to the guys and tried to settle the dispute. The guy drew a gun. Adam tried to back away but he guy told him not to move. The man tried to force the clerk to give him all of the money in the register. Adam drew his gun the man was staring at Adam, Adam doing the same thing. Shane yelled the man pulled his trigger and hit Adam in the arm with the round. I herd th gun shot and ran inside the store i saw Ada on the ground Shane over him crying. The man came up behind me and put the gun to my head. Paul came in the store. The man didn't notice him because the door was broken when the man fired his gun. Paul picked up Adams gun and pulld the trigger. Three times. I thought i was dead. But i herd the body drop from behind me and turned around and saw Paul holding the gun as tears dropped from his face. I ran up to him and took the gun from his hands. He dropped the gun and fell to his knees. I went down with him. I held his head to my chest. Comforting him. Letting him know that it was a lose lose situation. I really didn't know what to say or do. Paul had this glare in his eyes. He was scared, he was extremly scared and i just couldn't put my finger on it. Finally the police came. The took Adam outon the strecher. He lost a lot of blood but he would recover. Adam would recover but how could Paul recover. He did it for me. I was going to die tonight, but Paul stoped that man. After the Q&A about what had happen we were free to leave. On the way home Paul asked if we could stop pass an old friend of his house. I did seeing that that was the only words Paul had said. He went in and then a few minutes later he was back out. I was trying to figure out why he made such a short visit. It was none of my concern. Paul was his own man, so was i he has the right to keep things from me. We went home Paul went striaght upstairs and went to the bathroom i herd the shower running. I thought he must have been just really frustrated and needed to think. After about 30 minutes i went in the bathroom Paul was high. He had done four lines of cocain. And just injected him self with 50cc of mophine. He lookked at me when i opened the door and droped the needel. I walked away and went down stairs out the front door.
"Jay? wait you don't understand."
"well what don't i understand."
"Jay it's botherng me."
"what, is huh"
"the fact that i took someones life."
"Paul i have no idea what you are going through right now so i won't say it's going to be ok. All i can say is put the fucking drugs away so i can help you before you kill yourself."
"well maybe that is the best thing right now. What do i have going for me"
"well i thought you had me. But i guess i am wrong"
"Jay i don't mean you. I mean as far as life and work. I don't know what is goingon anymore i'm confused."
"on what Paul i have been trying to help you out but you seem to be pushing me away. Listen ok i'm happy to be aive right now. You saved my life. In more than one way. When i made the choice to not be with anyone it tore me up inside. I love you Paul. I wanted to choose you the whole time..."
"what about Kasey huh"
"what about him Kasey had left when he came back he had some body. What the fuck am i suppose to do huh. Be single for the rest of my life. Don't hink so. If you haven't notice i'm not a loner. I need a man and i really crave dick so you think i'm going to go on a fucking spree. NO i kinda want t stick with one person."
He laughed.
"Listen Jay I am going to try and stop this problem because i don't want to lose you. But i'm going to need some serious help here OK."
"yeah i'll be there day in and day out every day."
"haha you better be."
"lets go home"
When we got home. Shane was sitting out side. My first thought was what the hell is going on. He walked up to us.
"jay can i talk to you for a second."
"yeah whats going on"
"in private please"
" um yeah"
We all went inside and Paul went upstairs.
"Ok Shane take it away."
"Jay your in some real danger."
"wha are you talking about Shane. Nothing has happened since Aaron and his crazy ass side kick were arrested."
"well you know that guy that Paul killed."
"yeah what about him"
"well you know how Kasey hd to pay off some big time drug lord. Well he wasn't done. He saw Kasey with Paul one day."
"why was Kasey with Paul."
"i have no clue"
"well why is after Paul"
"he's not after Paul?Jay he's after you"
"me what the hell did i do to piss this guy off."
"Paul loves you he is going to hurt everyone that Paul is close to to make him suffer then he is goingt take Paul out."
"you never told me who the guy was that was in the store."
"oh yeah sorry that was his nephew."
" how the hell do you know all of this shir Shane"
"Because?Jay i'm apart of the family."
"WHAT. Oh my god this isn't serious."
"i'm dead serious you guys need to go somewere far nd hide because he is already coming after you."
"why didn't you stop Paul."
"Jay all you need to do is worry about leaving the states"
"answer me?why didn't you stop him"
"because i still love you and if he would have killed you then i would have lost some part of me. Now get some cloths and get a ticket to Brasil go to Rio somewere to big to find you."
"Thank you so much."
The next thing i know i hear cars pull up in my drive way. I look out the window and it's about 15 guys with semi automatic weapons. I ran up stairs and grabed my wallet and Paul then I went up to the roof of the house. The guys had already came into the house two of them were still outside. In the front. I herd gun shots fired in the house and then i herd Shane yell. All that was rushing throug my mind was is Shane dead. I would have lost it if he was. I saw the two men at the door put shane in the car he wasn't dead but he was wonded badly. Then i saw them go in side of the house. I use the phone wire to lower Paul down i told him to get in the same car they put Shane in. He did then i was about to lower my self down and three guys came on the roof and unleashed fire. I let go of the rope as a natural human reaction. And fell i hit the ground pretty hard buti knew i need to move or that would be the end of it. I roled over and ran to the car. I started the car and speeded of not sure were i was going just running. Shane was loseing alot of blood. I couldn't go to the hospital or i would be going right back in this time not in the emergency room but the morgue.
"Shane you going to be fine." said Paul
"ok Jay i know this is a really weird question but do you have some needle and thread."
"what... Like i just walk around with that shit in my back pocket. "
"Ok give me your shirt." said Paul
"your going to have to take it off i have three cars i'm trying to get away from."
He rips the shirt off me and starts pulling strings from the shirt. He grabs a safety pin from his pants.
" but he cigarette lighter on"
After that he burns the tip and starts sewing him up. We finally get away. On the way driving back some asshole runs in front of the car i hit breaks and i look at him and he looks at me. Who would have know that..."
This next chapter is going to be filled with alot of crazy things i promise.