DISCLAIMER:
The usual copyrights exist on this as well as all of my works. This story involves sexual contact between young males. If this type of story is not what you're accustomed too, fit for your liking, or for any reason forbidden where you live, please do not read any further. On the other hand, if none of the above applies to you then enjoy this and many of my other works of fiction.
Chapter 11 Terrence POV (Part One)
After I left the dinner party all I could think about was Jayse. I always thought that I was straight because all my life I've been with girls. I thought occasionally certain guys were attractive but not to the point of thinking about them all day. Sexual thoughts never crossed my mind about any guys and homosexuality wasn't a big thing to me. I had some gay friends but I never was attracted to any of them. I guess the fact that I am defending myself on the issue proves a bigger problem within myself, then again, no one has ever made me feel this way like Jayson.
Jayse was different. He was smart, funny, attractive and could charm the pants off anyone with his wit. I came home and just lied down on my bed thinking of how stupid I acted the whole night. I mean he sat in front of me at the dinner table and all I did was smile at him the whole time. The small moments we shared together in the kitchen and out on the patio were opportunities that I should have taken. I just didn't want to look stupid. Jayse is so cute and smart and I wish I could be with him. I'm really finding myself attracted to him more and more I say his name or think of him, which is every second. How could I be so stupid? I'm just so confused right now.
"Hi son are you ok?" my mom asked walking into my room.
"Yea mom I'm fine" I said sitting up.
"The Grier's are a lovely family aren't they?" my mom asked sitting down on my bed.
"Yea they are" I said still trying to get Jayse out my head.
"You're father can't stop talking about them" my mom said laughing to herself. She looked over at me and rubbed my shoulders. "Are you sure you're ok? You haven't said anything since we left" my mom asked again.
"Mom would you please stop already I told you I'm fine!" I yelled getting up from my bed and walking over to my dresser.
"I'm sorry sweetie but I just don't like to see you down. You were so excited earlier and now you seem disappointed. Did something happen between you and Jayson?" my mom asked from my bed.
"Mom please leave him out of this" I said with my back turned to her.
"Was it someone else in the family?" my mom asked.
"No mom everyone was great" I said sounding frustrated.
"Oh it's Alyson" my mom said referring to my girlfriend.
"Mom it has nothing to do with her or anyone else!" I said placing my hands on my dresser shaking my head upset.
"Well it's a mother's job to worry sweetie, I didn't mean to upset you" my mom said getting up to walk out my room.
I sighed and said, "it's dad."
"What about your father sweetie" my mom said closing my room door.
"I just hate his views and how they have plagued me all these years" I said walking back to my bed to sit down.
"What do you mean?" my mom said.
"Mom I have something to tell you, but I'm scared of what you might say" I said with my voice trembling.
"What is it sweetie?" my mom said walking back over to my bed and sitting down next to me.
"Mom promise me that you will still love me" I said looking over at her.
"Sweetie I will never stop loving you, you're my son" my mom said rubbing my hands.
"Promise me mom please!" I begged trying to hold back the tears.
"Terrence I promise dear. Nothing you could say or do will ever make me stop loving you" my mom said.
I took a deep breath and said, "I think I may be gay." I looked at her and she didn't look upset or shocked. She actually smiled and said, "I know."
"How did you know I just found out a few minutes ago" I said surprised.
"Sweetie a mother always knows" my mom said rubbing my back.
"But like how, did I give clues or anything?" I asked worried.
"Yes and no. I kind of noticed when you went to school and brought Alyson home. You both seemed like a couple but like a forced couple. You didn't seem happy at all. I didn't want to say anything because I figured you both were having a lovers spat or something. Then other moments arose and the same things were there. I continued to not say anything, but tonight when you saw Jayson, I saw how your face lit up and you blushed so hard. I knew it instantly. You actually hugged him instead of shaking his hand" my mom said.
"I was just trying to be friendly" I said embarrassed.
"I know sweetie but it said a lot" my mom said.
"Really?" I asked worried.
"Don't worry sweetie it wasn't that obvious but it was noticeable" my mom said smiling. I immediately bent down and put my face in my lap embarrassed.
"Oh honey I think it's cute. I've never seen you so happy. You were smiling the whole time at the dinner table and throughout the whole evening. I never saw you so happy in my life" my mom said.
"You caught that too?" I asked shocked.
"Yes sweetie, but don't feel so bad" my mom said rubbing my shoulders.
"How can I not feel so bad? If you caught all of that imagine what everyone else saw?" I said getting up and pacing around in my room.
"Terrence dear, no one caught as much as you think. You worry too much" my mom said still sitting on my bed.
"Well...wwwhhhaatt about dad?" I stuttered, "Did he say anything?"
"Your father was too busy trying to hype up Jeffrey's head about being the best neurosurgeon at the hospital. Those two were hitting it off so well tonight that you would actually think that they were long lost best friends" my mom stated.
"Good" I thought to myself relieved that dad didn't suspect a thing, "You're not going to tell him, are you mom?" I asked nervously looking at her from my corner wall.
"Sweetie I wouldn't do that but you're father isn't as bad as you think he is" my mom said.
"Mom dad is a complete homophobe. He fired his last neurosurgeon because he was gay" I stated.
"I know that sweetie but it was actually the board of directors decision not your father's" my mom said correcting me.
"Well I wonder how he would feel knowing that Jeffrey has two gay sons" I said sounding upset with my father's poor views.
"He already knows, Jeffrey told us out on the patio" my mom said.
"How did dad take it?" I asked.
"He paused for a minute, but I think after he saw the way that Jeffrey handled the idea of having two gay sons he seemed to open up more to it" my mom said looking over at me.
"Yea I bet. People like him just make me sick" I said upset.
"Terrence!" my mom screamed.
"I'm sorry mom but it's true. What's so bad about being gay?" I asked looking at her.
"Sweetie your father doesn't hate gay people, he just hates some of their actions" my mom said trying to defend him.
"That's twisting words mom. That's like saying you like peanut butter but hate Reese's cups or something. You can't have it both ways" I said upset.
"I agree, but I have always taught you to respect and love everyone" my mom said.
"And see mom right there is where I get confused" I said walking over to the bed to sit beside her, "You teach me one way and dad teaches me another, it's too confusing mom."
"I know dear but we only want what's best for you" my mom said.
"But mom I'm 19 yrs old. I know what is best for me" I said trying to sound sincere and to not break her heart.
"I know" my mom said with her voice breaking, "my baby is growing up" she said placing her hand on my face.
"I just want to be happy" I said touching her hand over my face.
"Do you think that Jayson can do that?" my mom asked.
"What are you trying to say mom?" I asked getting defensive.
"I'm sorry sweetie I didn't mean it like that, I mean how much do you care about him?" my mom asked.
"That's the scary thing mom, I've cared about him since I laid eyes on him" I admitted truthfully.
"Really?" my mom asked smiling.
"Yea mom" I said smiling to myself, happy to finally admit it, "Ever since he came by the gym and I saw those perfect eyes I melted. I mean I've never been attracted to another guy before."
"Never?" my mom asked overwhelmed.
"Never! Not once" I said getting up walking around, "we talked for hours that day and I felt so comfortable around him and I was surprised how calm he was talking to me, a complete stranger. After he left I couldn't stop thinking about him. I waited until he left and watched him walk out the door and he looked back at me..." I said reminiscing.
"Did he stop and look at you or just a quick glance?" my mom asked.
"He stopped" I said still smiling in my dreamy state thinking about Jayse.
"Hmm" my mom said but I was still day dreaming and didn't even catch it. I didn't even hear my mom when she got up and walked over to me and said, "I knew I saw something when I peeked out those blinds tonight" and she walked out my room.
I leaned against my wall still thinking about Jayse and wondering if he was doing the same thing about me. I let out a deep sigh and woke myself out of my daydream when my door closed. Did my mom just say that she was the one peeking at us? Naw couldn't be.
Next Day
I woke up and got busy packing up my stuff to go back to school. Good thing my school was still in the Grove. I decided to stay on campus for my first two years and then get my own place. I wish I could see Jayse before I left, I thought to myself, when someone knocked on my door.
"Come in" I yelled still packing.
"Ready to go" my friend Lee said walking in, "I hope it's ok, your parents let me in?"
"Yea sure no problem" I said zipping up my 10th suitcase. I looked around in my room and saw all my junk piled up. Another summer gone and now it's time to hit the books again. I looked over at my friend Leonard, who everyone calls Lee. Lee was black, about my height, almond shaped eyes, medium black complexion, with a short hair cut. He was attractive but I wonder why I was never attracted to him. He was straight actually his girlfriend hooked me and Allyson up since they were best friends.
Lee and I are roommates in college: a biology major and a business major. Lee started out as a music major but thought he wouldn't get a job with that degree so he switched to business. He loves to sing and constantly sings to his girlfriend every chance he could get. To be honest it annoys me and I'm extremely jealous. My only talent is surfing and showing off my body, while Lee can sing the panties off any girl.
We're actually best friends and have been since pre-K. We did a lot of stuff together, which being that I was an only child I always looked at Lee like my brother. I was 2 months older than him but sometimes he acted a lot older than me.
"Come on man, all these bags?" Lee complained at me.
"Quit whining besides I thought you weren't coming over for another hour or so?" I said packing up my desk lamp and some other stuff.
"I'm not man, I'm just tired. My parents had me cut the grass before I left" Lee said grabbing some of suitcases.
"What happened to your brother?" I asked walking over to Lee and grabbing some more boxes.
"Nothing that's the thing. They gave me this whole speech about him always doing the chores around the house ever since I left so I should take care of some of it now." Lee said walking down the stairs as I followed him.
"Wow" I laughed.
"It's not funny man. My brother is so spoiled, I'm tired of him thinking he can get away with anything" Lee complained. I guess I have to hear this for the next 30 mins.
"I don't see a problem man, you're parents are right. Besides you need to do some chores to help out with those puny arms" I pointed out laughing.
"Whatever man" Lee said still walking down the stairs in front of me struggling with my suitcases.
Once we near the bottom of the stairs I looked up and saw my parents coming to help. "Morning" I said still trying to avoid eye contact with my dad.
"Morning son, let me get that for you" my dad said grabbing my stuff.
"I got it dad" I said not letting it go.
"It's ok Terrence I want to help" my dad said still trying to get it. I sighed and let him grab the stuff as I walked back upstairs with my mom following me.
"You got everything packed?" my mom asked walking into my room behind me.
"Yea I do" I said, "I'll be back the weekend to get the rest of my stuff."
"Ok" my mom said grabbing some light stuff to carry.
"Um mom" I called out to my mom as she was about to walk out the door.
"Yes sweetie" she said turning around.
"Um I just wanted to say thanks for last night" I said smiling at her.
"You're welcome" she said smiling back.
"You still kept our promise right? I mean dad doesn't know or suspect anything, does he?" I asked worried.
"Sweetie I promise I will keep your secret safe whenever you're ready to tell your father I will be behind you 100%" my mom said walking over and squeezing my cheeks.
"Thanks mom. I'm going to tell him because I thought about it all night and I really think that this is who I am" I said confidently.
"Well sweetie as long as you're sure about this" my stated.
"Yea mom I am" I said building up my confidence.
"Good then, remember no matter what I love you and so does your father" my mom said smiling.
"Love you too mom" I said as my mom smiled at me and walked out my room.
I smiled to myself and got some more stuff as my dad and Lee walked into the room.
"You boys ready to hit the books again?" my dad asked.
"Yes sir" Lee said excited while I mumbled a low one.
"You boys make sure to get your lesson as well. It's ok to have fun too but your lesson is more important" my dad stated.
"Will do sir" Lee said while my dad patted him on the back.
"Son have you called Allyson yet to tell her you're leaving?" my dad asked after Lee walked out of my room.
"No" I said frankly.
"Why not?" my dad asked.
"Dad we have been talking on and off all summer. Every time we talk it's an argument I don't feel like that right now" I said about to walk out the door when my dad grabbed my shoulder really hard.
"Listen son that girl is the best thing for you! Don't mess it up with her!" my dad said sternly. I looked at him in his face shocked as my mom did too when she walked into the room. My dad looked at both of us embarrassed and fixed my shirt grabbing some more of my stuff.
"What's going on here?" my mom asked walking into my room.
"Nothing honey just giving Terrence some pointers for school" my dad lied nervously.
I gave her a look like see what I mean and walked out.
After we got the last of our stuff in Lee's truck. I kissed my mom goodbye and gave my dad a handshake. He had his arms out for a hug but I wasn't feeling any of that right now.
"Call me when you get there and be safe" my mom yelled behind me.
"I will mom love you" I said walking away.
"Love you too" my mom said wiping her tears.
"Take care son" my dad said waving at me.
"I will" I said low walking over to Lee's truck, "hey I'll meet you at the school I have to make a stop right quick."
"What you got to pick up something for Allyson" Lee said joking.
"No" I said in disgust, "just go I'll meet you at the school."
"Ok calm down I was just playing" Lee said defensively cranking up his truck and driving off.
I got in my car and waved back at my mom as I cranked up my car and drove off. I stopped by a florist shop downtown. I contemplated over and over in my head if I really was going to do this.
"Hi can I help you find something" the florist asked me as I walked in.
"Yes ma'am I'm looking for some flowers that say I love you, I'm thinking of you, you're all I need, something in that ball park" I responded shocked that I was actually going this far.
"We have some lovely red carnations over here, does your girlfriend like this type?" the florist asked.
"I'm not sure but I think that he might like these" I corrected her.
"I'm sorry I just assumed..." she stated.
"It's ok" I assured her.
"You can get a dozen on sale today" the florist stated.
"That would be pefect thank you" I said. I paid her and left while she still apologized for stereotyping me. I walked out the store feeling good about what I had planned to win Jayse's heart. I got in my car and sat down biting my bottom lip out of nervousness. I kept thinking to myself was I really about to do this. If so I had to go hard or go home. I sighed heavily and called Allyson.
"Hello?" Allyson said on the phone.
"Allyson it's me Terrence" I said on the phone.
"I know I saw your number on the caller id" she stated with an attitude. She didn't know but she made it so easy just now to break up with her.
"Yea I'm glad I called because that attitude of yours it getting on my nerves" I said shaking my head at her immaturity.
"What are you talking about?" Allyson said with an attitude.
"I was just calling to tell you that I'm done with you and your low class attitude" I said finally feeling free.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Allyson asked.
"You caught my name on the caller id, but you can't catch a clue" I stated.
"Excuse me", Ally started, "for your information..."
"Yea, yea, yea, save it, bye" I said hanging up. She tried calling me back but I sent the call straight to voicemail. Man that felt so good to get her off of my back. I grabbed the card and thought about what I would say to Jayse. I had to let him know how I feel. I looked over at an old couple sitting on a bench and wondered what life would be like if I could do that with Jayse. I cared about him so much and I haven't even talked to him like that yet. How could I be so sure it wasn't infatuation?
Just then a cute light skinned guy came walking by my car and waved at me. He was too feminine for me but I waved anyway. I dropped the pen and card and cranked up my car to drive over to Jayse's house. The whole time I was driving my hands were getting sweaty and I contemplated about turning around.
What if he doesn't care about me like that? Hold up, I thought to myself. Jayse has a boyfriend. I forgot all about Brandon. He even introduced me to him. I completely forgot all about Mr. Thug Appeal. Like I could compete with that: the gangster look. I pulled over to the side of the road and looked down at myself and my outfit. I was too clean cut for Jayse. He wanted his opposite not an equal. I didn't even have a fighting chance. Not to mention the family knew Brandon already and liked him they didn't even know me.
I wish Brandon wasn't in the way then maybe I would have a fighting chance. How long were they going together anyway? This sucked big time. The guy that completely changed me is in love with someone else. I just came out to my mom, I dumped my girlfriend, I'm slowly starting to stand up to my dad and for what? Someone who could care less about me. I didn't even realize that I was at the gate to Pickett Way. I shook my head in embarrassment and was about to leave when a cab pulled beside me and someone yelled out to me.
"Yo Terrence what's going on man" Justus said from the window of the cab.
I looked up and saw Justus, Jamie, and Giannis, they must have been on their way to the airport.
"Hey guys" I said from my window.
"Where are you off too?" Jamie asked.
"Um...going back to school" I said trying to hide the flowers and card.
"Yea we're getting ready to do the same" Justus said, "Hold up right quick let me tell you good bye, it might be a while before we come home again."
"It's ok" I said getting nervous.
"No that's true we have to tell you bye" Jamie said getting out the cab.
"But you guys can do that from the car" I said nervously.
"Man we're a hugging family" Justus said walking towards my car.
"C'mon get out of there" Jamie said walking across the street to my car.
I got out slowly hoping they wouldn't look inside my car and hugged them both.
"Take care of yourself" Justus said.
"Yea it was nice meeting you" Jamie said hugging me after Justus.
"Thanks same here" I said backing up to my car.
"You have a lot of stuff" Jamie pointed out.
"Yea my friend has the rest" I said crossing my arms.
"Are those flowers" Justus said walking to the other side of my car.
"Um, um, um, no, they're not" I said stuttering.
"Yes they are" Jamie said pushing me to the side slowly.
"Ye, ye, yea they, they are" I replied nervously.
"Who are they for...oh my God?" Jamie said looking back at me.
"You were on your way to see Jayse weren't you?" Justus asked.
"Well um, actually, I was, um" I said stuttering.
"I knew it" Justus said walking back over to me and Jamie, "I knew you had a thing for Jayse." Jamie looked over at me and blushed.
"You do don't you?" Jamie asked still blushing.
"I, um, um, yea I do" I said blushing back.
"Oh my God this is so cute" Jamie said, "You two would make a cute couple" Jamie said hugging me again this time squeezing me.
"Way to go man" Justus said patting me on back.
"Hey guys you have a plane to catch" the taxi cab driver yelled to Jamie and Justus.
"Hey man the airport isn't far from here, chill out!" Justus yelled.
"We know the meter is running, you'll still get paid!" Jamie yelled back as well. Wow these two are vicious. I have to make it a point to never get on their bad side.
"But, but what about Brandon?" I asked worried. Jamie and Justus looked at each other worried as well and then back to me.
"You're right man, Jayse is kind of feeling Brandon" Justus said making my heart sink in my chest.
"Yea he is a lot" Jamie pointed out sticking the dagger in my heart more.
"I knew this was a mistake" I said turning around to get back in my car.
"Hey, hey, hey wait a minute. You're not about to give up that easy are you?" Justus asked grabbing my shoulder turning me around.
"I wasn't going to but thinking about it more and more, Jayse is deeply in love with Brandon. I don't want to get in the way of that" I said sounding sincere.
"But don't you love Jayse?" Jamie asked.
"With all my heart" I said truthfully making Jamie blush.
"Then why didn't you say anything last night?" Justus asked.
"I was going to but Brandon showed up and I didn't want to start a scene. I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover" I said honestly.
"I knew it, I knew it. The whole night I caught you two making eye contact and flirting with each other. I think you have a fighting chance" Justus said making me smile.
"Really?" I asked excited.
"Justus!" Jamie shouted punching Justus in the shoulder.
"What?" Justus said looking over at Jamie rubbing his shoulder, "You know it too." Jamie looked down at the ground and then at me and smiled.
"I'm not going to say anything because Jayse will never forgive me, but I think you may have a chance as well, but it's not going to be easy" Jamie said.
"Hey as long as you guys gave me this much, I know I can do this" I said confidently.
"Tell you what, I don't want you going in this alone, and also because I don't like that Brandon kid. I want my brother to be with someone I trust" Justus stated making me smile, "I'll help you get my brother."
"What do you mean by help?" I asked worried.
"I mean score some stuff for you, talk with Jayse, make him see what we see, convince him you're the right fit" Justus said.
"Justus you can't do that!" Jamie said.
"Who said I was going at it alone, the three of us can pull this off good" Justus said stroking his chin.
"What about me?" Giannis said walking over to meet us, "I like Jayse too. I want to see him happy."
"Baby, no, this is not our area" Jamie said to Giannis. I was shocked that everyone wanted to help me. Either they really wanted me with Jayse or they really hated Brandon.
"C'mon your brother deserves to be happy" Giannis stated.
"Who's to say that he isn't already?" Jamie asked crossing his arms to his chest.
"Jayse isn't happy!" Justus said upset, "Not with some thug. He's just seems to sneaky for me. Something's up with him."
"Guys I can't wait here forever" the cab driver said.
"Dude we are coming right now" Justus said upset, making Jamie roll his eyes at the driver as well.
"All right so here it is right now we all make a pact to get Jayse and Terrence together" Justus said.
"Guys I don't want to hurt your brother" I said not feeling right about this.
"Hey man we're trying to help you, and trust me, it's for the best. You love my little brother or not?" Justus asked staring at me in the face.
"Yes I do" I said sounding like I was making a vow to someone that didn't even know how much I cared so strongly about them.
"Cool" Justus said, "Giannis and myself are in, that leaves you Jamie?" "Why me?" Jamie asked confused and upset.
"Look we are looking out for Jayse ok. It's not like we are doing this intentionally" Justus pointed out.
"I know but I just don't feel right about this, Justus. Jayse is going to be really upset if he finds out" Jamie said sounding scared.
"Look just like dad said we are family and we have to look out for each other. After all that Jayse has been through he deserves to be happy" Justus said looking at Jamie.
"But why do you think he's not happy now?" Jamie said making Justus walk away in frustration, "I hear what you're saying but I don't want to ruin something that may already be good."
"Jamie I love your brother" I said walking to him, "I care so much about him and I don't even know him yet. All my life all I ever wanted was to be happy and the small moments that I have spent with your brother have been the best I have had with anyone, and all we did was talk. Just innocent talking back and forth and that is enough for me. He's changed me into this person that I never was before and all I want to do is show him how much I appreciate it. Please let me take care of your brother. Let me love him and treat him like the prince he is. Please Jamie? Please?" I begged with tears in my eyes. Jamie looked at me with tears in his eyes as well. Giannis, Justus and even the cab driver all looked at me shocked that I spoke so deeply from the heart.
"That was so beautiful" Jamie said wiping his eyes, "If Jayse misses out on an opportunity to be with you, I will never forgive myself...I'm in."
Jayse baby here I come!
Please feel free to email comments and suggestions at jaypoet929@yahoo.com. Special thanks to all the fans so far. Thank You for reading my story. Peace and Love.