Humor Me

Humor Me

Disclaimer: This is a story about a romantic relationship between two teenage males. If that kind of story offends you, then please do not read the following story. Also, if you are under the legal age to read stories of this type, then don't. Please do not reproduce this story without permission, since that is a copyright infringement.

Okay, story now. I have some notes afterwards. :)

-Chapter 12-

Fifteen Months Later

"Jonas, what are you doing?"

His voice came from the doorway, and sounded above the metallic rattling of the steel legs of the bed frame as I pushed it across the linoleum tiles. I stopped, and leaned against the twin-sized bed, propped up by my hands on the firm mattress. The angle I was pushing the bed around at was bothering my back a little, so a respite from the strain was welcome.

I turned to Mike with a tired smile. It was only four in the afternoon, but we'd spent the entire morning moving into the dorm, and carrying our stuff up four flights of stairs, with Shane and Jace helping us out in the late August heat. Even with their help, everyone involved was starting to get exhausted. Mike had gone to wander the hall to look at the other people in the dorm after Jace and Shane left, once all of our stuff was in one place. I had remained in the room, with its gray tiled bare floor and cream-colored walls, to finish unpacking my stuff.

"I felt like moving stuff around," I said. "Figured the room would be nicer this way."

Mike stepped further into the room, and I stopped talking. I just looked, noticing the changes he had gone through, as if I were seeing him as if I hadn't seen him in two years as opposed to forty-five minutes.

The last year or so had apparently been good to us both. Mike's height topped off at about six feet as his body structure gained more definition. The baby fat had left his cheeks, thinning it out a little, though he lacked the awkward lankiness one associated with the body type. He let his hair grow out, but generally kept the same style, and the colors, mousy brown fading into chocolate, didn't change. When he didn't shave, his facial hair came in with that same dark brown color as the tips. A few times, he had tried working with a goatee or a moustache, but I politely put a stop to that.

As for myself, I had gained a few inches, but was still the shorter of the two of us. A little more forced exercise gained me a lean frame, but it was structured more like a swimmer's build than someone who lifted a whole lot of weights. Mike didn't seem bothered about it, since he often spent time tracing the definition of what muscles I had.

"Aaaaand," he said, sitting on the bed I was pushing, "you felt the room would look nicer if you pushed our beds together?"

"Well, yeah."

He turned to me, and gave me a smile that said he was messing with my head. He knew what I was doing, and he approved. Well, he better be approving of this. "And why are you moving the beds," he asked, just this side of condescending.

"Because winter is coming," I replied simply, standing upright, "and I'll be damned if I'm not going to be cold by myself."

"It's August," Mike answered. "We have time yet."

"I plan on pretending to have a chill a hell of a lot."

Leaning over, Mike leered at me. "Oh you do, do you?"

"That I do."

He crept a little closer. "And what do you expect me to do about it?"

I rolled my eyes. "If I have to spell it out to you, then you have no business being in this room." As he laughed, leaned up, and kissed me on the nose, I gave him a look. "That's it?"

The question took him by surprise. "Well...Jo, the door's open, and there's a lot of people moving around."

I nodded. There were a lot of things I found myself thinking about, once I made the decision of which college I'd be going to, and moving in like this. My decisions were all set in my mind, and I felt all the stronger for it. "Let them look. If anyone raises a fuss, then they're not worth our time to get to know. No sense in spoiling my own fun if some fucking proles haven't grown up yet."

There was an odd look on Mike's face, as if he were meeting me for the first time in that moment. He placed his hand over mine and squeezed. "Jo, that's pretty harsh."

"Then tough shit for them," I spat out, and flopped out on the bed. I relaxed my muscles, falling backwards across it, Mike still holding my hand and sitting on the edge of the bed as I lie across the middle. "Jumpy, huh."

"I'd say you are," Mike said. "What's on your mind?"

I shrugged. "College, growing up, the changes. I was happy with the way things were. I don't want to go through some of the same crap we did back in school."

He smiled, and patted me on the stomach. "I hear you. I doubt it will be an issue. There are enough people at this place where you can almost choose you own friends."

"I plan on it," I admitted. "But I am glad you're here."

Mike turned until he was lying across the bed, next to where I lay. "That was random."

"We planned it that way."

And we had. At the end of Junior year, after my kidnapping, the dance, and the gift we gave each other, we knew there was a lot we needed to talk about. College, since we'd be seniors, was a big issue. We both decided on some simple things. One of which is that we both had ideas of what we wanted to do with out lives, and where we wanted to apply to. Neither of us were going to apply for schools only because the other applied there. If we went to separate places, then we'd try to make it work. The other was that we were /not/ going to tell the other where we applied to. We wanted those decisions to be our own, not influenced by the other.

It turned out to be not that big of an issue. One of the advantages of going to Weathering was that the place really prepared kids for whatever school they wanted, including the more prestigious ones. The name Weathering carried weight on any college application, and most students by the time they applied for college had an idea of what they wanted to do with their lives. I had decided beforehand to go in for Computer Science, and maybe a few art classes for graphics, and see what worked from there. Animation? It was a possibility, but the Comp Sci background would be able to get me in any number of jobs after college, if I didn't take the Grad School route. Mike, he took a little more time deciding what he wanted, since he was caught between something computer-related, and Literature. From Dani's stories of him in his English classes at Weathering, I could easily see him as a professor, if that's what he wanted. Even now, he hadn't decided exactly what to do yet. He admitted he had time before graduation.

It wasn't until after the Christmas before that we, in the darkest hours of the morning, decided to speak out and say where we applied to. The time to leave for school would eventually get there, despite what we wanted, and we needed to face the possibilities in our lives after Weathering.

It didn't turn out that bad, since we applied to a number of schools. But, as we admitted, wrapped in each other's arms, we both set our sights on Princeton. I mean, it was a great place, and since we lived in Eastern Pennsylvania, it was pretty close to home, and with my sibling off at college already and Mike being an only child, it was close enough that we weren't out of touch with our folks, and far enough to ensure we were on our own.

It was the first week in March when we got answers. That afternoon, we ended up in my dining room, facing each other as we stood on opposite sides of the dining room table. Before each of us was an envelope. Each envelope was in heavy stock paper, cream in color, bearing the Princeton logo where the return address would be.

"You first," I said.

"No," Mike said. "You go first."

"Hell no," I said, shaking my head. "I can't look."

"Neither can I."

"But we need to."

"I know," Mike said. "But what if I didn't get in?"

"I wonder the same thing. I mean, if I didn't get in. But we're only putting off the inevitable."

Mike nodded. "Together?"

I agreed with a nod. "On three? Okay. One, two..."

Well, suffice it to say, we wouldn't have spent the morning moving into a dorm in Princeton if we both didn't get in. There wasn't much debate, after we found we were both accepted, about living arrangements. So we filled out all the forms with Housing, and we ended up with a room together, just as we wanted.

"I don't plan on leaving you," I said as we lay on the one bed. "So why not have the beds together."

"I was going to ask later," Mike said, admitting it. "I was just messing with you."

"Good. You can help me move stuff around."

"Okay." Mike smiled. "Want to be social tonight?"

I blinked. "Meaning what?'

"I met a bunch of people on the floor while you were being all interior-decorator-like. These two guys, Todd and Jake, invited us to hang out there later on."

I pushed myself up, until I was resting on my elbows. "They cool?"

"Seems like it," he said. "You want to go?"

"Yeah," I said. "New friends are a good idea."

He smiled, running the back of his hand along my cheek. "You miss them, don't you?"

"Of course. Don't you?"

"Every day."

That was the painful part of all of this. The girls had gone their separate ways from us. Dani fell in love with USC the summer before Senior year while her family was on vacation in Southern Cali visiting relatives, so she was hell-bent on going there, and aiming for their psychology program. Of course, she got in. Lisa went back to England, having become attached to the place after she went on exchange. And, there was the other reason, as she told us later. While on exchange, she had fallen in love, and while she wished we could meet him, he had no way of getting over to the States. So, while shooting for a degree in Comparative World Literature, she had a beau to go back to. Over tearful promises to e-mail when we could on both sides, we let them go. The night before Mike and I left, he held me as I cried for them. We had shared so much, and they weren't going to be there, when we always had them to run to, and it hurt so much. There would always be summer, but the pain was still too fresh. Not that it stopped us from having good times before they did leave. There was one night in particular I remembered.

That night, this past May, I stood against the wall, towards the top of the stairs in my house, listening to the conversation downstairs as I adjusted my bow tie for the hundredth time. I decided right then, after my first experience with them, that cumber bunds and bow ties and tuxedos were not worth the effort and discomfort it took to wear the damn things. Senior Prom or not, the things were damn uncomfortable.

Mom was talking to Dani and Lisa, and when I did peek around, the transformations astounded me. Both girls had their hair up, and were dressed to kill, simply put.

Lisa's hair was done in something complicated, though the braid over her shoulder was still there, and looked classy in her black dress with red trim. I remembered how long it took me to help her realize how beautiful she really was, and this stood as a testament to her self-acceptance.

Dani had her red-gold hair up, further than Lisa's, and let the hair frame her face in ringlets as she wore a dress of pale green, slashed with cream. I had told her before that she could have any man she wanted, and that I hated the idea of her being alone while Mike and I were together, and Lisa having a long-distance relationship. She just waves it off, saying that she had known long ago that she wouldn't fall in love until college, and that she would be patient and wait. I loved her for it, but sometimes, I still wished for her happiness, in addition to what she shared with us.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," I heard Lisa say. "But isn't it traditional that the guys are supposed to wait while the women took the extra time to get ready?"

Dani snorted. I heard it. "Like we ever fit in with tradition."

"Good point."

I was glad Shane wasn't back yet from Finals, or there would have been a few more comments. I pushed away from the wall, looking towards the open bathroom door. Mike was inside, checking the mirror as he ran his hands under the faucet, and pulled his wet fingers through his hair, combing it out that way as a last-minute preparation. If I hadn't known him already, I could have fallen in love watching him do that.

"Okay," I said. "You're beautiful. Let's go. Our dates are waiting."

He just shook his head in amusement as he walked out of the bathroom in his own tuxedo. Ok, maybe they were uncomfortable, but I wondered if Mike knew how hot he looked in his. Like mine, we had gone with the simple look, the usual tuxedo and a black cumber bund and bow tie. He walked over, and scooped me into his arms for a deep kiss.

"You're the one that's beautiful, Jonas."

"I hate the way these things fit."

"It's only for one night."

"I know," I said. "You're...not mad, are you. With this setup?"

He beamed a smile. "It's one of the better ideas you've had," he said.

"It's just, Lisa couldn't get Brent over from England, and Dani's not seeing anyone, and-"

He put a finger over my lips. "You don't have to explain," he said. "Besides, I love them, too, and they deserve to be happy, too. Don't worry, we can get a picture of ourselves, if you want."

The girls didn't mind that, either. So, each of us had one picture with our female date; Mike with Lisa, and Dani and myself, and we also talked to the photographer, and had a picture of Mike and I in our tuxedos, as well.

The night itself was just great. For hours, we gorged ourselves on food, dancing, and gossip about the other students, the same as they were doing with us. With the dances, we traded partners often, between the girls and each other. I was a lot more concerned with them having a good time than myself, and they were having a ball. To raise a few eyebrows, Dani and Lisa even danced with each other, which resulted in a lot of questions from a lot of people. Truth was, neither of them even had Bi tendencies, but were just comfortable enough with themselves that a dance wasn't a problem.

Mike and I danced as well, and no one said a word. I guess, by that point, they were used to us, and Mike was right about that. As always.

After the Prom, the Limo drove us out to the Jersey Shore, where Lisa's family had docked their yacht, and gave it to us for the night for whatever we wanted after we left the hall. It was just the four of us, this time, and we spent the night together talking, drinking, and not saying aloud that this was probably the last time the four of us would be together like this. I think, at some points in the night, we were temped to be maudlin about it, but we were together, and that was enough, and all that was really needed to be said.

Towards dawn, Mike and I crept up to the deck, and I took him there. The stars, which were fading with the coming sunrise, looked down in amusement as I topped him that spring night, the breeze coming in from the sea cooling our bodies in our passion as I felt both Mike and the waves rock under me with the force of our lovemaking. Afterwards, we sat nude, wrapped in a blanket with our legs dangling over the side as we watched the sunrise. It was a moment I knew I would not forget, in a thousand lifetimes.

Jake and Todd were Sophomores, and all too happy to chat with Freshmen to give them the straight skinny about college life. They seemed as enchanted with Mike as I was, though not in the same, romantic way that I was. The welcomed us into their room, which was half-finished with decorating, with open arms and an open case of beer.

Todd stood a little taller than I was, with blond hair that was fading into light brown, hanging thickly from a part in his forehead. His face was rounded, ending in a narrow chin and high cheekbones. He was slender, I guessed, but his clothes tended towards the extra-baggy type. Jake seemed the more reserved of the two, in simple jeans and a maroon T-shirt. His hair was dark brown, and wavy enough to be unkempt no matter which way he combed it. And, wonder of wonders, I think I actually had an inch or two on him in height, even if he was a bit stockier in the shoulders than I was.

We started talking, once the door was closed and we had beers in our hands. Jake was from Vermont, studying Mathematics, while Todd was from West Berlin, meaning the city in Southern New Jersey, as opposed to Germany itself. Todd was a journalist, by trade and by nature and his own admission. He tended to be the more dominant personality of the two, who were roommates since last year. Jake was quieter, but Todd joked that Rita, Jake's girlfriend, was doing sorority socializing that night, and he was just feeling down.

"Dude," Todd said, looking to me. Todd was one of those people who started off every sentence with 'Dude.' Hell, I thought it was funny. "That thing around your neck," he said, pointing to my chain. I had kept the chain Mike gave me when we started going out, and it became my prized possession. I wore it pretty much everywhere now, and didn't even think about it self-consciously anymore.

I nodded. Let's face the music. "Yeah," I said. "It means what you think it means. I'm gay." You know, after telling folks for a year and a half, it wasn't as worrisome saying it as it used to be.

Todd nodded. "S'cool, dude," he said, then gave me a smart look. "Just don't go hitting on me, okay? I don't swing that way."

I laughed, taking another sip of beer. "Don't worry," I said, jerking my thumb to Mike. "He's the one who gave it to me. Do the math."

At that, Todd whipped his head around to Mike, who was by an open window smoking a cigarette. Mike gave him the most innocent of looks, and Todd's jaw dropped to the floor. "Damn," he said, amused. "Didn't see that."

"I did," Jake said, piping up. "It's not something...visible, but it's the way they look at each other."

This got a laugh from Mike. "I thought Todd was the reporter, Jake."

"He is," Jake drawled, "when he's not busy being all mouthy."

"Bitch," Todd muttered, firing a 'You'll pay for that' look in Jake's direction. "You guys met in high school? Where at?"

We started talking, then. Yes, we did meet in high school, and got together there. And yeah, we did deal with some schmuck bigots, but we turned out okay. Todd didn't speak up again until we mentioned what school we went to.

"Weathering?" he asked. "Dude, isn't that place where that kid went nuts last year? Read it in the paper."

I winced, visibly, and Mike moved to Jake's bed, where I was sitting, and put a hand on my shoulder. "That wasn't exactly what happened," I said, my voice straining. Jake listened wordlessly, since apparently he hadn't heard the story.

"Didn't he kidnap some other kid?" Todd asked, pushing it.

I gulped as Mike spoke up. "Todd, don't bring it up," he says, and I could hear the iron in his voice.

"Why. You knew him?"

The words came out before I could stop myself. "I was the 'some other kid' you fucking jackass." I went to rise, but Mike's hand was firmly on my shoulder, holding me in check.

For the second time that night, Todd's expression dropped. "That was you? The one he..."

I nodded.

"Dude, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

As I calmed down, I nodded, forgiving him. "They didn't put my name in the story in the papers," I said. "You couldn't have known. See, it started a few months before that."

Mike looked startled. "Jonas, you don't have to-"

"You're right," I said. "But I want to."

He put his arm around my shoulders. "No, you're not going to," Mike said. He turned to Todd and Jake, smiling. Todd was in his desk chair, and Jake moved over to sit on Todd's bed. "Here's how it happened. Or how it started." He paused, as I realized that this was something he wanted to say. "Okay, so I got kicked out of my old school for acting up all the time, since I was smarter than most of the teachers. They put me in Weathering, and in first period, I met this guy here," he started, giving me a squeeze around my shoulders.

I just gave him a look. I had never heard this through his eyes before.

"The teacher made me sit next to this cute boy, and we got to talking a little. He totally had my curiosity going, in that class, and I ended up meeting a good friend of his in English class, since she's more outgoing and chatting than Jo is here. But I didn't know much more about him, and since I had some fucked-up experiences back in my old school, I was a little leery of getting close to people, despite all the talking I did."

"And he did a lot,' I said.

"Quiet, peasant," he said. "So, to get the whole new school blues out of my mind, I went skateboarding at the park close to my house after school. So there I am, catching air, and then I see this idiot crash his bike into the water fountain." I had never told him why I crashed my bike. Maybe some other night. "You had to see it. I swear, I thought he broke something. But...I just wanted to rush right over there, and to hell with manners, and carry him. I was attracted to him, right there, and I held it back."

I tried not to think about that, that me harming myself in an accident that bordered on slapstick made him like me. But I knew, deep down that it was all of me that he loved.

He went on for what seemed like hours, telling the story from his perspective. I only interrupted once, when he got to when Cohen kidnapped me. I spoke up, my voice wavering at first, but getting stronger as I told Todd and Jake exactly what happened that day. I got to hear mike's version of the events, too; how he was worried for me, and the start of his reconciliation with Jace at the hospital.

And through it all, the two older students listened. Todd apologized again and again for bringing it up, but we forgave him. It was a bad time, but it felt good to talk about it. After that, we talked more, like we had known each other for years. We got tips on teachers, classes, and what food in the cafeterias was actually edible. Hey, new friends are a good thing.

Okay, take one college freshman of small height and slender build, add about five beers, and shake well.

No, wait, don't shake. I'd rather not ruin the floor on my first day of college.

That's what was on my mind as Mike opened the door to our room, since I was in no condition to do so myself. I wandered in behind him, singing.

<<It's late in the evening,

And I've got an aching head.

So I give her the car keys

And she helps me to bed...>>

Mike chuckled as he closed the door behind us. "You're smashed."

"Damn right," I said, and sat down on our bed, which looked King-sized when we pushed them together that afternoon and set down the sheets. I lifted a leg, and tried unsuccessfully to get off one of my shoes.

"Here," Mike said. "Let me get that."

I sighed, feeling weak from too much beer as Mike helped me undress. Well, okay, he did most of it, since he didn't feel the alcohol as keenly as I had. Damn metabolism.

Soon enough, I was lying on my stomach, in my boxers under the blanket, with Mike beside me, running his palm up and down my back. "You'll feel better in the morning," he said.

"You lie," I replied. I've been here before. Tomorrow was so going to suck.

"I am. Figured I'd try to make you feel better."

I smiled as his hand kept going up and down my back. Through my skin, I felt each finger as they traced the line of my backbone. "Why," I whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why," I asked, "do you take care of me?"

I felt him kiss the nape of my neck, since I couldn't see him in the darkened room. "Why shouldn't I?"

"Because you always told me to be my own person and stand on my own."

Another kiss. I didn't even have the energy to kiss him back, I was that wiped out. "You do stand," he replied. "You are your own person, and you handle yourself really well. But, there's nothing wrong with being there, you know? People stumble, though not as much as you've been stumbling tonight, drunk peasant of mine. And that's what I do. I'll be there to catch you. Always."

"Always," I slurred. "Me, too."

"I love you, Jonas. Never forget that."

"I haven't, Michael. I love you, and always will."

"Me, too."

I came to another conclusion, as the world rose and fell beneath my intoxicated body. We all stumble, we all fall, and the luckiest ones are those who know there will be someone to catch them if they do. We make mistakes, and if it happens, it happens, and we shouldn't worry about what sins we have done, or fret about a way to correct them if we can't.

We only have one life. Make it last. Make it count.

-The End-

Final words:

Wow. Cool. You're reading this. That's nice of you.

Of course, if you're reading this, this means Humor Me has ended. This was how I intended for the story to end, when I was first writing this, even though some things changed along the way. I didn't envision Lisa until I was well into the story, and what I had intended for Mike's past to be, and what would happen to Jonas was much, much worse than what did happen.

It sounded like a decent, dramatic idea at the time, but I discarded it as I envisioned the potential scenes, and was awake for at least one night with a feeling of dread. I decided not to because I try not to be an angsty person in general, and felt inflicting that on my readers was mean. (I know some stories are like this, and that offends me personally, though it may be suited to others tastes.) So, I softened things a bit, I think the result was okay in the dramatics department. I've had at least one reader tell me that he's seen something similiar happen to what Cohen was going through.

But, sue me, I believe in happy endings. :) I also believe in putting my characters through hell before they get there, but in my mind, that makes the payoff all the sweeter.

Will I write again? Hey, it's possible. No ideas right now (or, at least, no really well-formed ideas, I should say), but something will come up.

David, I can't thank you enough. You're a lifesaver.

J. My only regret is that I didn't see the look on your face...

As for everyone else, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your praise and comments (especially after Chapter 11. Wow!) warmed me in ways I didn't think were possible any more. Thank you.

As always, comments go to dreamer@shell.monmouth.com

Thanks, Kyle