Chapter 18 -- Part I From Billy's viewpoint
I had really fucked up everything. I had lost Jess as my best bud and Justin as my boyfriend. That sure happened quick. We were boyfriends for like three hours.
I was going out of my fucking mind as I holed up in my room. There was no one that I could turn to. At first I tossed around a bunch of crazy ideas. Trying to blame Justin because he brought the dildo. Trying to blame Jess because he'd been my best bud all those years and never told me any of this shit about him being gay. He'd known a lot of shit - like how he was able to suck his own cock. He'd known it for years and never told me. And now I was supposed to be OK with it? Well, I wasn't.
But in the end, I knew there was no one to blame but myself.
I had spent the whole day at home. I couldn't possibly have gone to school and faced Jess, or risked running into Justin. I had absolutely no idea what might happen if I did. It was a long day with a lot of time to think. Maybe too much time. I tried to take my mind off it watching guys jack off and stuff on XTube, but you can only watch headless guys jack off so many times and you're ready for something new.
I went to JUB and read some stories. They distracted me from my personal misery. Some of the stories were pure sex and got me pretty hard for a while. Other stories didn't sound so different than mine. Of course, all the stories had fairytale endings, if they bothered to end at all.
I spent a lot of time reading and fantasizing over one really fucking hot story that was stroking my mind. So good. So engrossing. So hot I couldn't stop reading. It was like I'd climbed in the shower with these two guys. The story was Shower With My Brother's Friend by bjboy8807. bjboy8807 has got a really cute picture of himself on his home page. About my age. From San Antonio. And he loves giving head. A guy who can write like that can give me head anytime, I thought as I started to read again. My hard eight inches was wrapped in my palm and ready for action.
I read: . . . he slowly kissed his way down my neck, onto my chest, making a short stop at my right nipple to gently lick it with the tip of his tongue, which gave me goose bumps all over, he thought that was cute and kept moving down. His tongue slid its way down my abs and to my belly button, which he again stopped at, but then quickly moved down to the main attraction, my now extremely hard cock, which now showed a drop of pre-cum at the tip.
I looked down at my own raging cock. There was more than a drop of pre-cum flowing from my piss slit. I was leaking big time. I continued reading and stroking.
I read: He gently licked his way to the head of my dick and licked the small drops of pre-cum away. "Oh, I've been waiting to taste you again since our shower together," he said. He devoured my cock. All the way down his throat it went. He took special care to circle my head with his tongue, a sensation that drove me crazy. It was amazing the tricks he knew.
I slumped down in my chair. My cock pointing up at me. I started to mimic every action blowjob boy was describing. Imagining it was blowjob boy himself. Here with me. Dark eyes. Fantastic swimmer's body. Just like I love. Those soft lips. Down between my legs. My hand went to my nuts as I read . . .
I read: He would knead my balls in his hands, and bob his head up and down, and every time I thought I was gonna blow, he'd stop. After fifteen or so minutes of this amazing blow-job, he pulled me out of his mouth and started moving back up to my face, he kissed me again. "Justin I want to feel you inside of me," he said. "Well lay down and get ready," I told him.
That's what I so wanted to say to my Justin. Justin I want to feel you inside of me. My mind was a blur of characters. I wanted to be Justin wanting to be fucked. I wanted to be Chris so ready to fuck Justin. I wanted to be bjboy, the one calling the shots. Moving the players. Closer together. More in love. And in lust. Justin, Chris, me, Justin, blowjob boy. We were all interchangeable in my mind. In a tangle of lust and desire that drew us together. My cock was aching. My roiling cum building up.
I read: He lay on his back and I spread his legs apart. "I've never done this before, so be gentle," he said with a worried look on his face. I lay on top of him and kissed him on the lips. "I'll be as gentle as you like." He smiled and his white teeth smiled. I kissed my way down his amazing body. I stopped at his cock and kissed it right on the head, and Chris let out a soft moan. I brought my face to his firm ass and spread his cheeks apart and plowed my face into it. I swirled my tongue softly around his tight button, and he moaned loudly.
I was so hot. I had to take my hand off my throbbing cock. I sat there dabbing a finger in my oozing pre-cum. Tasting it. Dreaming of Justin. Dreaming of blowjob boy in Texas. My own life a fantasy gone so wrong. My own cock aching to correct it.
I read: I softly started to make my way into his hole. The more I pushed with my tongue the louder his moans would become. "Oh, God! Justin that feels amazing. Mmmmmm." Chris' moans made me so hot that I wanted nothing more than to be inside of him. Once my tongue had done all that it could do, I traded it for my finger.
My hand was back to my cock. My need was incredible. I had to have Justin. I'd been edging too long. As my orgasm built, I started to skim:
. . . He gasped, and I could feel his hole tighten on my finger, but he soon relaxed. . . . I kissed him on the lips and took my fingers from his hole . . . "I've jerked off every night thinking about you." . . . I lubed up my cock and his hole and put my head up to his hole. I looked him in the eye and he nodded. I slowly started to push my cock into him. The head popped in and Chris closed his eyes, and took in a deep breath, I could feel him tighten . . .. he opened his eyes again and looked at me, and again nodded. I slowly pushed farther and farther in until I could feel his ass pushed up against me and I knew I was all the way in. . . . ass tightened around my cock. It was the most amazing sensation I had ever felt. . . . slowly . . . in and out of his ass . . . I started to fuck Chris harder and harder . . . Chris would grind up against me. We moaned together. The sounds of our lovemaking filling the room.
My nuts tightened. My chest tightened. I closed my eyes and saw blowjob boy as if he were in the room with me. Making love. I saw Justin. I saw each of them and all of them. Fucking their happy brains out. I wanted to wait. To cum with Chris and Justin and blowjob boy. Too late.
My cum surged through my nuts and shaft. It erupted from my cockhead with such sensation that my brain was on fire. My guts in knots. I came. And I came. And I came. My warm cum flooding into my lap. My cock throbbing with each load. My hand sliding up and down my cum-slicked shaft. Then only a single finger running up and down the underside of my cock shaft. I love that feel. I love it the best when it's Justin's tongue. Gentle massage to the backside of my cockhead. Right where it meets my cock shaft. Right where it feels so exquisite. At last, my cum flow reduced to a slow dribble. My body slumped in my chair. I read one last bit of Shower With My Brother's Friend as the aftershocks of my cum ebbed. I slowly scooped up and ate my still-warm cum.
I read: "Come on, Justin. Fill me up, fill my tight ass up with your cum!" I gave his ass two more good pounds and then I forced my cock all the way in him and my cock exploded. "Ooooooooooooohhh, fuck!" I filled his ass with my cum. . . . Chris exploded all over both of us . . . he was cumming like crazy. My orgasm was too much and I collapsed on top of him. . . . we both lay there breathing hard, in a pool of cum.
I, too, was breathless. Spent. Laying there in a pool of cum. My cum. Alone. But at last I could drift off to sleep.
I awoke about 9 p.m. and somehow managed to hold off calling Justin until almost 9:30. When I finally did call and he realized it was me, he just said, "So what do you want?" in a tone that was none too friendly.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I've thought about it all fucking night and all day and I should have something better to say, but that's all I can think of. I'll never do anything like that again. I'm so sorry." I may have been crying. I'm not really sure. Finally I stopped talking and listened to the silence at the other end. I could hear music in the background, but Justin said nothing.
"Are you there?" I asked as my mind flashed back to the story I had been reading earlier. I wanted us to be like Chris and Justin. I wanted my Justin to say to me . . . to say what he had said before. I love you. I wanted to say those same words to him.
There was a long pause and then Justin said, "I shouldn't have even answered the phone when I saw it was you calling. And I won't answer it again. . . . No, wait. Here's the deal: I'll answer calls from you if Jess tells me that it's OK. That you two are best friends again. That you've made everything right. Until then, you can just sit home and fuck yourself. I don't even want to see you."
He hung up. I just sat there holding the phone, not knowing what to do next. Fantasy and reality. Lust and love. If only they could be more the same. Less trouble. Less pain.
I know I cried then. And, as you probably have guessed, I'm not a guy who cries.
If I wanted Justin, even as just a friend . . . and I fucking wanted Justin in the worst way . . . I had to call Jess. But that was just too hard for me to do. Instead, I sat in my room and felt sorry for myself, blamed myself, told myself there hadn't been any other way.
But when I stopped running my mind round and round all my fucking excuses, I was left with nothing but the image of Jess' face. His face staring into mine. His tears as I plunged that big black dildo in and out of Justin's ass until Justin came and then I came, too. No matter how good that cum had felt, there was no pleasure in my memory from that moment now. The look on Jess' face as he had watched that. What must he think of me? He would never talk to me again. Never look at me again.
I couldn't even imagine how I could face him. Passing him in the halls at school. Sitting in classes with him. At swim practice. In the showers. How could I? How could I have ever thought it was a good idea to trick him into walking in on Justin and me?
As I sorted all this shit out, I told myself often enough that I didn't know exactly what Jess would see. But I had to admit to myself that I knew he would see something. Something that would hurt him deeply. Hurt him so deeply that I would never have to talk to him about Justin and me being boyfriends. About Jess and me being . . . what?
God, what a fucking mess I had created.
The weekend passed as I moped about the house, mostly staying to my room, my computer and my bed. On Monday I stayed home from school again. My mother was really getting concerned and wanted me to see a doctor. I told her I was getting better. I was just really tired, but getting better each day. I knew I couldn't stay home another day. It was time to face the music.
I needed a plan and I didn't have one. I needed to know the right words to tell Jess and I didn't have a clue. I really wanted to ask Justin what I should say, but I knew he'd never talk to me. Not about that. Not about anything.
And then in desperation, I picked up the phone and called Jess. I didn't know if he'd answer my call or not. I could hear his mom calling him to the phone. I waited. A long time.
Then I heard a faint and almost frail Jess say, "What do you want, Billy? I have nothing to say to you."
"I know I have no right to ask, but I want to see you tonight. Saying I'm sorry doesn't cut it. I know that. I need to prove to you that I can be your friend again and I don't think I can do that over the phone. Please, Jess, give me just this one chance."
Continued tomorrow . . .
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The exerpts from "Shower With My Brother's Friend", Chapter 3, were used with permission of the author bjboy8807. I highly recommend that anyone who has not read this story do so immediately. It can be found at JustUsBoys.com. If you have read it already, read it again. I did.
The names and some other identifying information in this story have been changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The copyright for this story is held by Hardreader. The story may not be reprinted or distributed elsewhere without the permission of the author. I would love to receive comments on this story from readers. Has the story caught your imagination? Has the sex been getting you off? Do you have any questions I can answer? Email me at hardreader2000@aol.com