If Only I Could

Published on Mar 14, 2004

Gay

If Only I Could Finale

Well here it is the Finale the end of things well sort of :) . I know its been a while. I am writing a new story arch its going take place ten years later i hope you enjoy it i should have it posted by the end of the week. now for the interesting part, THIS STORY IS FICTION. don't know anyone in the story or the orientation of any of the celebrities.

We waited patiently for the ride to get over when the doors opened we made a dash for the door and stated moving fast trying to put as much distance as we could from us and Jake. Unfortunately there was a lot of people around making it slow going. I shouldn't have looked back. I quickly peeked over my shoulder to see where Jake was when he saw me. I could see his eyes light up. I quickly turned back and stopped cringing muttering Dam under my breath. "Uncle Jake!"

"Jake, get back here!" AJ yelled "Jake"

The next thing I heard was the sound of metal vibrating you know the sounds the familiar metallic thwack you hear when you hit a metal pipe. James was looking at me when he turned around. "Dam" he said and started jogging back to where Jake was. When I turned around my assumptions were confirmed there was Jake laying on the floor holding his head crying with Kevin and AJ sitting next to him trying to comfort him. I also noticed some park people making there way over to them as well.

"Jake buddy you ok" I could hear James say as he made his to him. I was quickly bringing up the rear.

"Lance, but I thought..." AJ stuttered

"What are you doing here where is Caleb." Kevin was asking

"I am right here. I kneeled down next to James and lifted Jake up into my lap. "Jake you ok there buddy let me see your head"

"I hit my head Uncle Jake on that pipe" he still had tears coming down his cheeks and I rubber them away as I looked at the small red spot on his head. No bleeding so hopefully just a bump.

"You shouldn't have been running you could have been hurt badly little man" James spoke softly from beside me I looked up to see a lot of people gathering around, both Kevin and AJ looked shocked to see us and I noticed the park official standing over us as well.

"Can we do anything Sir"

"Do you have a place where we can sit down and have Jake looked at?"

"Yes certainly I radioed ahead the park nurse is coming she can check him out, why don't you come this way. I got up with Jake in my arms and we followed the man into one of the staff rooms.

"Uncle Jake I'm glad to see you I missed you and Uncle Lance are you guys done with your special trip?"

"Well buddy no not yet." James spoke

"OH"

"Don't worry we will be done soon" when we entered the staff room it looks like the nurse had already arrived. So I took Jake over to her and explained what happened. She started to examine Jake I excuse my self and move back to the other side of the room where James was talking hurriedly to AJ and Kevin. Before I got there Kevin turned towards me and walked over to meet me.

"So this another little secret you got going with Lance, going to keep us all out of the loop what if something happened to Jake how were we going to get in touch with you? Kind of irresponsible"

"Irresponsible to want my honeymoon to be private beside we have our cell phones and we were going to call in and check in on everyone. Who are you calling irresponsible Kevin how dare you, what exactly has gotten into you anyway.?" I was trying to control the volume of my voice but my temper was definitely flaring Kevin has had something up his ass since the wedding.

"I'm calling you irresponsible"

"Hey guys relax and keep it down " AJ Said

"What is going on with you two" James said standing between me and Kevin. I looked around and fortunately we hadn't drawn any attention yet. The nurse was still talking with Jake at this point.

"Nothing is going on Kevin is being and asshole is all, nothing out of the ordinary lately"

"Asshole huh, yeah, I'm not the one that has gotten so secretive lately."

"God Kevin grow up and talk about irresponsible you can't even watch Jake without him getting Hurt." I know it was a low blow but I was pissed. Kevin looked hurt for a moment

"AJ and I wouldn't let anything happen to Jake you know that"

"I don't know much about you lately"

"And I don't know about you all you concerned about is having your legs in the Air"

"KEVIN" AJ hissed

"You better watch you mouth buddy" James turned on Kevin. I was going to speak some more when I heard my name being called.

"Mr. Frost"

"Yes" I turned around leaving the other three to there own devises as I went over to be with Jake. I think he is gong to be all right Sir, just a little bump everything should be great no problems.

"Oh great thank you, what do you say Jake"

'Thank you"

"Ok buddy lest get back and give your Uncle Lance the good news."

"Ok, are you guys fighting?"

"Why buddy?"

"Cause everyone looks mad"

"Na everyone is just worried they want to make sure you are ok is all. Tell you what how about you spend the rest of the day with me and Lance and then we can Have uncle Joey take you home. Where is uncle Joey anyway?

"Wow I would like that. Uncle Joey had to work so I am spending the day with Uncle AJ and Uncle Kevin." Are AJ and Kevin going to come too?"

"Nope afraid not Uncle Kevin has work to do. It will be just us is that ok"

"Yeah"

"Ok cool" I took Jake and we made our way back to the guys they both looked even more pissed then before I must have missed a great deal.

"Ok Guys everything seems ok, no broken bones" I laughed ruffling Jake's hair " So James sweetie why is Joey at work, Why did they arrange work when you were on your Honeymoon?"

"Umm well..."

"Well looks like someone does not know everything" I ignored Kevin's snide remark at the moment mostly because Jake was standing there watching us.

"James what's going on?"

"Well I really thought you knew. I quit the band a couple of months ago. I will talk about it to you but not know, later when we are back at the hotel"

"Ok, no problem I told Jake that we would take him around the park and then call Joey to take him home."

"We can take him Home" Kevin spoke up

"Uncle Jake said that you had to go to work"

Kevin didn't respond just glared at me and James. I saw AJ rubbing his shoulder in an attempt to calm him I guess. I really didn't care Kevin was pissing me off and I didn't need his attitude rubbing off on Jake at this moment.

"James take Jake and we will head over to the test track"

"Yeah, Test Track" Jake was jumping up and down pulling James with him. "I'll catch up with you In a sec

"So I'm working am I" I could hear the anger in Kevin's voice

"You know Kevin your attitude sucks and I don't need to rubbing off on Jake so as far as I'm concerned you will always be working. Do you catch on to what I am saying." I turned to AJ "Whenever you want AJ your welcome to hang out with Jake your more then welcome to tag along if you want."

"Umm well thanks but I will go with Kevin"

"Why?" Kevin asked. I know it was directed at me and I really didn't know why, just that he was pissing me off and I wanted to teach him a lesson and I knew that this would be an easy way to do it. I know that's its probably not fair but I'm not in the mood to be fair at this time.

"Why what Kevin? I don't trust you around Jake, especially what you might say"

Kevin looked totally pissed but hurt as well I could see the moisture in his eyes he turned around to leave stopped and turned around.

"You know what Caleb... FUCK YOU" and walked away but before he got to far away I grabbed at my neck and ripped off my medallion and threw it at his back and walked away leaving AJ standing there shell shocked. I was pissed but I didn't seem to care any more I left and caught up with Jake and James grabbing jakes hand I started to run causing James to be pulled along as well. James caught up then we started swinging Jake between us. It didn't take long before I was tired as was James I although was able to handle it better. James was bent over panting trying to catch his breath.

"Ok Jake we have to wait pudgy boy over there is tired."

"Who you calling Pudgy boy?"

"You Pudgy boy" Jake laughed running away

"Pudgy boy huh" James went running after him grunting and making monster noises. It was great seeing James being a Dad. It totally put himself into taking care of Jake I was worried at first but he was a natural. I just stood and watched them. I walked over to get the boys under control so we could go to the Test Track by this time James had thrown Jake over his shoulders like a sack and was panting a little but was holding his own.

"Ok boys you ready to go"

"Yep"

"Yep" Jake mimicked

"Ok lets hit the Test Track"

We had a great day we spent most of it at the Test track since that's what Jake wanted to ride and only that. I didn't mind only I think that James was looking a little green around the gills. Making our way back to the hotel Jake had fallen asleep on the way so I was carrying him. Lance had called Joey earlier and arranged for him to meet us in the lobby of the hotel. We made our way into the lobby James checked his watch.

"He not here yet"

"Probably will be here shortly its what 7 now"

"Yeah , you go up stairs and I will wait here"

"Ok , I'll order some dinner while your down here then we will talk and I want to know what went on with Kevin"

"Yes we will I promise, now get upstairs get all sexy for me" he just blushed and left for our room . I was just sitting down when I heard my name being called"

"Caleb?"

"Hey Joey, thanks for coming "

"Oh no problem, he's sound asleep you must have tired him out I didn't think that was possible. Poor Logan was run ragged the other night."

"Oh Logan been hanging around huh"

"Yeah, not planning anything at this time but we have been hanging around with each other. I thought Jake was with Kevin and AJ what happened?"

"He was, we bumped into them at epcot, weren't expecting it, Jake saw us then we decided to let him hang out with us."

"Ok cool I promise not to reveal you guys are here, but why here and not at Atlantis?"

"Not sure guess we are just big kids plus no one would expect us and we have been here so there is no need to be a tourist we can hide in our rooms all the time." I laughed Joey blushed somewhat.

"Ok well here let me get Jake up and I'll take him home"

"Ok no problem but one last thing Joey, I don't want Kevin around , AJ can but he has to visit no out trips right now."

"Why? What happened today?"

"I don't want to get into it and please just respect my wishes."

"Ok no problem, I don't understand but ok whatever you want." I then gently woke up Jake.

"Hey Jake its time to go ok"

"Hmm oh..." He got up and walked over to Joey rubbing his eyes. He turned himself around and looked at me before coming back and giving me a hug. "Will I see you again"

"Yeah but we will be gone for another week then me and Uncle James will be back ok"

"Ok he smiled and went off to be with Joey he waved by to me as he left. I turned around and started to walk towards the elevators when I changed my mind and decided to take the stairs up to the room, just to give me more time to think about everything. Especially everything with Kevin. what was I going to do? I know I crossed the line, but he has been pushing me lately. Maybe I should rethink everything or maybe not. I was getting tired of Florida. We need a change there was nothing holding me here and with James not working with the group he really didn't need to stay here. By the time I made it too my floor I was no further along with an idea of what to do or having any of my problems solved. Out of habit I reached for my neck only to realize the medallion was gone. I sighed as I opened the door to our room.

"Hey, room service should be here in a little bit you want to shower or something before hand." James had changed into some track pants and a t-shirt he looked really comfortable. Maybe a shower would be a good thing.

"Yeah I will come and talk to me while I shower, we will kill two birds with one stone"

"Oh, why can't I shower with you?"

"Because we won't talk if we do and we will be late to eat."

"Always the sensible one. Ok fine I will talk to you while your showering but let me tell you I think that it is cruel and unusual punishment."

"Lets go hot stuff" I entered the bathroom and turned on the shower "So lets see when exactly did you quit and why"

"No rest huh, well again I thought you knew. It wasn't that I tried to keep it from you it just wasn't a big secret.

"I get that sweetie" I spoke as I stepped into the shower "Just tell me how it happened, I thought you enjoyed your job"

"No I did it just got hard with everything that was going on I know you could tell I went through some changes."

"Yeah sexy did I tell you I like the Tattoos"

"Yes several times but we are getting off the topic, I just wasn't into functioning in the group, Joey and I were having issues and the guys one day gave me this ultimatum and that was it I was pissed that they did that and just said fine I quit"

"Wow, but that was then maybe you should go back"

"No I like this being out of the public eye somewhat plus I can focus on freelance and my production company. And with out the touring I have more time to spend with you. I am actually glad I did it now."

"If your sure I support you, just caught off guard. I guess I haven't been paying attention lately"

"Well we both haven't, we both have been busy. You need any help"

"No you horn dog I don't but thank you." I started to wash my hair

"So what's up with you and Kevin"

"I really am not sure, But I don't think we will be talking any time soon I told him he couldn't se Jake if he was going to keep up with this attitude."

"What was his response?"

"He told me to go fuck my self"

"Hmm, that's it. I mean is there something in this picture that I really don't see"

"Huh" I looked at him and he made a position of pulling at his neck. I caught on immediately.

"Uh that well I took it off and through it at him as he was leaving"

"You left it there did he pick it up"

"I don't know and I really don't care. Do we need to talk about this anymore"

"Ok if that what you want"

"It is, Kevin is Kevin and I am no longer interested in what he is doing." I turned off the shower and opened the door to come out only to see James standing there holding the towel for me. He wrapped it around me and kissed me hard on the lips when he pulled away "Just remember whenever you want to talk you can"

"I know, I have a question for you What do you think about moving out west"

"West?"

"Yeah I want to move to California. LA We can cash in hurricanes for earthquakes"

"Hmm maybe its something we should think about, I think the move is motivated by your fight with Kevin"

"No its not , it may play a small part the straw that broke the camels back, but I no longer work here and there are so many bad memories here. I think a fresh start would be good now with you no longer in the band you don't need to stay here. Plus you wanted to act more so why not LA will give more of a chance to be in the town wheeling and dealing."

"Ok what about the house?"

"Give it to Mel and Nick they have been living there a while now let them have it, or give it to Joey Let them decide what they want. I just know I want out of Florida. Plus I am leery of having Jake here I don't need some asshole deciding I am not fit as a parent because I am gay. What do you say Please!" I was staring intently at James as he sat on the bed watching me finish getting dressed. I could see his mind working overtime.

"Ok Caleb, we will do it we will move."

"Oh yes James I love you" I threw my self on him and kissed him passionately I could stay like that forever just holding him in my arms but I guess that was no to be there was a knock at the door.

"Dam Room service" James huffed he pushed me up and went to the door to bring in the tray.

"Ok so what did you order"

"Hmm seafood some Lobster and shrimp. And a bottle of champagne. I guess we can celebrate the move. When exactly did you want to move?"

"ASAP, lets go to La and Find a House now"

"NOW" he spit a piece of the shrimp he had been tasting

"What better time we have another ten days we can fly out there tomorrow and start looking at houses"

"You really want to do this fast huh"

"Definitely"

"Ok lets see about checking out in the morning but it looks like someone is going to have to start packing up this mess" he gestured to the room." I will start packing and you call make the reservations then we will eat this delicious meal. It looks like they are in warming plates anyway so they won't get cold." I made my way into the bathroom gathering all of our supplies and making sure nothing was left behind then I stacked everything on the dresser and began packing our shaving kits. That was done easily enough. I could here James on the phone with what I assumed was the hotels front desk. I started packing our clothes into the suitcases good thing we had decided to pack light this shouldn't take long. While I was doing this I let my mind wander thinking about everything that was going on and if I was truly running away in spite of everything. This I was sure wouldn't sole the Kevin problem. I struggled with other ideas but it came back to moving you know what I am moving so screw them all I am not happy here to many memories of Sam and everything. I had told James about the nightmare I was having and the day mares that I was having as well. I bet that played a key roll in him making the decision so quickly. I looked down into the suitcase and noticed I was done. I turned around and James was still on the phone. So I went over and crawled up on the bed and laid my head on his chest as he finished up his phone calls this is the real thing this quiet time. James just rubbed my shoulders and arms gently as he continued to talk I must have been tired because I was zoning out and didn't realize James had finished and was talking to me until he started poking me.

"Come on there sleepy"

"What oh I'm not sleepy, just zoned out lets eat"

"Ok" he laughed

"So what are the plans"

"The plans are we better sleep we leave at 9 am tomorrow on the flight out of the airport. I arranged for a car to take us and one to pick us up to take us to the hotel in LA."

"Where we staying"

"You will have to wait and see" he smiled

"Long as its not a dump I don't care."

"Ok its not a dump, that's for sure. What do you think I would get"

"Just yanking your chain honey I know you treat me well. always in style" I laughed picking up my fork and digging into the dinner before me.

"That's right all my Bitches go in style"

"Yeah careful who you call bitch and I better be the only Bitch you be treated with style" I menacing waved my fork in from of him . that didn't impress him he just leaned forward and ate the piece of lobster that was on my fork and smiled licking his lips.

"Got it sexy"

"You are incorrigible at times ." I reached for my Glass and raised it in a toast James did the same. As we clinked glasses I made a toast.

"To our new life"

"To our new life" James responded

email any comments or suggestions. I like to get feedback

Next: Chapter 22: Harder to Breathe 1


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