This work contains elements of sexuality between teens over 18, adults and includes homosexuality in prevalence. Please exercise proper discretion. Do not read this if it is illegal for you to do so or if the subject matter will potentially offend you. The author assumes no responsibility for misuse or misconduct associated with the dissemination or viewing of this work. Any characters, representations or events should be assumed to be purely fictional with any possible resemblance to the real world being entirely coincidental or otherwise such that it may be treated as innocuous. This work is copyrighted by the author, who retains all rights and priviledges. This work should not be reproduced without the written consent of the author. Please direct all feedback and comments to kanseiji@gmail.com. Thanks for reading.
This story is based heavily on the events and characters of From Where I Stand. Though the author endeavors to make this an independent, standalone work, it may still be beneficial for readers to have read FWIS or to refer to it at their own discretion.
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[ in a moment ] by kanseiji
Chapter Two - Looking Both Ways
"Hey Jase!" Chris gleefully answered into his phone. There were few circumstances that could have prevented him from being happy about hearing from Jase.
"Hehe, hey there. How are you doing?" Jase giggled into his phone as he walked across a small street.
"I'm good. So what are you doing right now?" Chris asked as he sat back in his chair, having dropped everything else to talk.
"I just got done with class and I'm heading to get some food. How's home?"
"Eh, it's Boston, what can I say? It's not quite home without you though..."
"Aww...yeah I miss it...and you, hehe. So are you doing something right now or are you free for a bit?"
Chris took a quick look at his computer's clock before answering, "I'm free for a bit...don't have class for another hour or so."
"Okie...well I guess I'll just have to talk to you then...such a bother," Jase let out, dripping with sarcasm.
"Haha, well I wouldn't want to get you down."
"Hehe. So are you just in your room then?"
"Yeah...I was thinking about taking a little nap. This getting up early for class thing is starting to wear on me."
"Chris...it's only the second week...and your class is at 9 a.m."
"Yeah I know...somehow it's just harder to get up in the morning in college than it was in high school."
"I swear if Adam wasn't there you wouldn't get up at all, haha."
"Hey now, I got up before him!"
"Yeah but I think you're only getting up because he's around."
"Hehe, yeah maybe...we keep having to motivate each other to go to class."
"Well at least you're doing that...my roommate is worthless."
"So are you two getting along ok?"
"Yeah I guess...he's just kinda there, y'know? Oh god...it's so annoying though...he's got this delusional idea that New Jersey is the best place in the world."
"Um...isn't New Jersey a hole?" Chris remarked with Massachusetts pride.
"Haha, yeah well. It's probably not that bad, but honestly...he acts like the world wouldn't exist without it. ANYWAY...so much for the bonding with the freshman roommate thing. I guess I'll just have to live with the fact that we won't be starting some super successful business and making millions together."
"Heh, bummer. Just invest in my restaurant, hehe."
Chris and Jase talked on for close to the hour that was available. In some senses, they hadn't known each other for very long. They had grown up scarcely a mile apart, gone to the same schools and still managed to not really meet until the middle of high school. Both had played on the soccer team and Jase had a marked interest in Chris from very early on...there was just something about the shy, reserved Chinese boy that was alluring to Jase.
Though in the beginning they had hardly exchanged three words, Jase took it upon himself to break through Chris's shell a little. He persistently asked Chris to hang out after they had practice, but Chris always seemed to have an excuse or just declined...he was never rude, just shy. Chris had very few friends up to that point...in fact, one could say he only had one friend in the form of his neighbor Justin. He and Chris had met very early on and became practically inseparable. There was a closeness with the two that was hard to compete with, so Chris never made much of an effort to branch out and make friends.
Jase however, didn't give up and after Justin had coaxed Chris into socializing more, soon enough, Chris had taken Jase up on an offer to hang out. Jase had become a little fixated on Chris by then...partly because of the aura of mystery that surrounded him, but also the quiet focus that he exuded in what he did. There was definitely a lot of wishful thinking as Jase pursued Chris since he didn't know if he was gay or not...he just hoped.
All the while, Chris was also somewhat interested in Jase as well...and was just as clueless about any mutual feelings. Despite being oblivious to each other's feelings of affection, they became fast friends and were soon spending a good amount of time together. Things changed quickly enough soon after though.
Jase had been in the habit of keeping a journal since he was eight years old. It was a suggestion from his therapist to help him get through some dark times in his life. The early parts of Jase's life weren't exactly what one would call a rosy childhood, and it was remarkable that Jase hadn't suffered more from it. His father was an abusive alcoholic and tended to take out his frustration on his kids. Luckily for Jase, his older brother was on the protective side and took to standing up to their father. After a tumultuous few years, Jase's life shuffled around as his parents divorced, his mother remarried and they had moved. During the course of all the changes, Jase had felt an intense need for some stability and managed to find some on his own by writing. He had talent to be sure, but it went largely unnoticed since he reserved the "good stuff" for his own personal journal that no one else read. It was in his personal writings that he first confessed the feelings he had developed for Chris...and the words written in that book changed everything.
Jase was overall a very well-adjusted and "altogether" kind of person, but he did have a slight forgetful streak in him. During one occasion, he had forgotten to pick up his little brother from school and dashed off from hanging out with Chris to do so...and in the rush his journal had slipped out of his bag unnoticed. It may have been fate...or bookmark...but the journal fell open to a section of writing about Chris...and Jase's feelings about him. Chris had picked up the journal to hold onto it until he could get it back to Jase, but his name on the page caught his eye...and he read some very deep thoughts.
Needless to say that when Chris returned the journal to Jase, some revelations occurred and...well, they got together. Their romance was a somewhat careful one due to their mutual inexperience, but it was doubtless that they were in love. Through two years, that love had only gotten stronger, but alas for the fairy tale, they were no longer together...separated by reality. Chris was in Boston and Jase was in Rochester for college. Neither of them wanted to strain what they had by attempting a long distance relationship, especially during a time where they should be branching out and meeting new people. Deep down in their hearts, they knew that there was something special between them and if the circumstances were right again, they would find their way back to each other...but they decided not to push it.
One moment the sun was shining brightly on Jase's shoulders and the next the shadow of a large building was cast upon him. He said his goodbye to Chris on the phone and after a sequence of "I love you" from the two, the call ended.
Chris sat for a moment to soak in the warm feeling that Jase always left with him, before he had to dash out to get to class. He contemplated ditching, but opted against it since it was a class he shared with Adam and he also decided that it was a bit early to be skipping classes.
The fickle New England weather had taken a turn for the hotter as the blazing sun streamed down through a nearly cloudless sky. The student populace in Cambridge had responded accordingly as hundreds of people took to the outdoors in shorts, t-shirts and sandals. A quick glance around revealed that few people's eyes could be seen as most were sporting sunglasses or hats to fight back the bright light. Chris took a quick glance at his cell phone and saw that he was running a bit late...which was just an excuse to use his bike. Within a minute, he was out of the door of his dorm and barreling down the pathways of the yard toward his class. Chris had developed a knack for weaving in and around the crowds on the campus and arrived at his destination within a few minutes...with minimal casualties left behind him.
Steady streams of people were entering the lecture hall as Chris ducked inside. It was relatively dark and it was even darker to Chris due to his glasses...transition lenses were convenient and all, but annoying when entering dark rooms from the outside. Chris did his best to spy around the space and eventually found his mark as he caught Adam waving him down. A hop, skip and a jump over a row of seats later, Chris was nestled into a seat next to Adam in the increasingly crowded lecture hall.
"You'd think more people would be ditching class by now," Chris remarked at the filled room. "It looks as full as it did first day."
"Yeah...maybe the prof is scaring everyone too much for them to skip," Adam suggested as he looked around. "Actually I kinda thought maybe you wouldn't show up. You looked pretty dead this morning."
"I was...and no telling whether I'll make it through the class awake, hehe."
"Did you take a nap?"
"Nope, Jase called," Chris informed, nonchalantly.
"Oh, ok."
Adam was never really thrilled that Chris and Jase still talked as much as they did. As the class got started, Adam couldn't concentrate much on the material. His mind just drifted around in his memories and feelings. Every so often, he would glance over at Chris, just to see what he was doing. He actually took some care in taking notes during that class and didn't notice Adam looking over at him. Chris was jotting away and his left hand had come to rest on the common armrest between him and Adam. Their elbows were touching slightly, but the contact was more from crowding than intentional. It took a bit of restraint on Adam's part to keep from reaching over and putting his hand on Chris's...he kept his hand in a fist and tried to let his imagination fill the emptiness. Adam took in the view for a few moments before looking away and returning the seclusion of his own mind as the class went on. The darkened surroundings in the lecture hall stirred some memories and he let himself drift away into them.
"What's on your mind, Adam?" Chris's question shook Adam from a slight daze.
"Huh? Oh, nothing...just spaced out a little."
"Ah, ok. Did you want to leave or something?"
"Nah, this is good...I mean unless you want to leave..."
"Heh, nah let's stay, this is nice."
Adam recalled that he and Chris were sitting in a coffee shop listening to a band. The place was crowded, but they had arrived early and managed to land cushy seats on a couch. Eventually they ended up with Chris sitting with Adam cradling him slightly so more people could sit down. Adam certainly didn't mind the close contact as they enjoyed the atmosphere...and the company. Chris was somewhat transfixed on the band and he only casually noticed that Adam's chin had nuzzled into the nape of his neck. A generally warm and cozy feeling permeated Chris as Adam wrapped him up in his strong arms.
It was just before the end of their senior year in high school. Over the course of the year, the two had been spending a great deal of time together as they both had light schedules...both had gotten ahead by taking AP classes and summer school, so they had a lot of free time. Chris had originally planned to see the live band with his boyfriend Jase, but a conflict arose and he couldn't make it. It was actually Jase that suggested to Chris that he could invite Adam instead. A little disappointment had worked its way into Chris's mind toward the beginning of the evening, but it had largely faded away as the night progressed. He missed Jase, but Adam was a walking comfort zone for him.
They both knew...the fact that they liked each other was no secret. They just both knew that circumstances weren't conducive to them being together. Chris was very much in love with Jase before Adam came into the scene. When they first met, Adam was also carrying a massive crush on Chris's best friend, Justin. Not long after, Chris and Jase even set up Adam with a friend of theirs, which acted as Adam's jumpstart into dating. From the very start though, there was always a link between the two. Deep down, Chris thought they were a little like soul mates...like they had known each other forever. Adam, on the other hand, knew he was falling for Chris.
As they cuddled together, Adam could hardly concentrate on anything in the surroundings. While Chris stared forward, Adam tried to savor every moment of contact. Chris had rationalized earlier that there was no reason for them not to act affectionate with each other...after all, gay guys could do that without issue. Little creeping spots of guilt had always plagued Adam though...he had grown up a semi-religious person and though he didn't buy into his faith's condemnation of his own sexuality, he did believe in the fundamental wrongs of the "coveting thy neighbor's." Whether he liked it or not, Chris was still with Jase at the time and Adam did everything he could to make sure that his conduct remained what could be considered strictly platonic...he just had to deal with the guilt in his head.
"Hey Adam? You ready to go?"
Adam shook out of his thoughts as Chris beckoned. "Huh? Oh yeah, sure..."
"Dude, did you just daze off the whole class?" Chris asked, a little amused at Adam's confused look.
"Heh...yeah I guess I did," Adam replied, sheepishly as he fussed with his hair a little.
"Haha, well I took notes this time so we should be good. Wanna grab something to eat right now?"
"Um, sure. Oh wait! I almost forgot I have a section today," Adam recalled as glanced at his watch. "Ok I'm probably gonna be late. Uh, I'll catch you later, ok?"
"Hehe, ok, later!" Chris waved off Adam as he dashed away. "Man, that boy is cute when he's running around," Chris thought to himself as he spied Adam's slim form. Smiling at the thought, Chris found his bike and rode off across the campus.
Along the way, Chris decided he should probably get a little work done before it piled up too badly. After stepping into the dorm, he quickly concluded that it was way too hot and unpleasant there to work, so he grabbed his laptop and a textbook before heading back out the door. He paused as he came out to the yard again as he contemplated where to work. A slight grumble of his stomach contributed to the decision as he mounted his bike and rode off the campus. He soon found himself back on the campus bearing a cheddar melt and a drink as he headed to a white building on the yard. Chris had taken an occasion to figure out all the buildings on the campus with air conditioning and Boylston Hall was convenient to his dorm, so he frequented the cushy lounge in that building.
As Chris entered, he reminisced over the personal history he had in that building. It was there that he and Jase had gotten together a couple years previous...it was there that he nervously returned Jase's journal and scared the living shit out of Jase in the process. The memory topped off nicely as Chris recalled the first kiss he shared with Jase. The fondness of the memory seeped out of Chris's mind as he smiled to himself. He found a corner next to a window and began to sprawl out. The lounge was practically empty...unusual given how hot it was that day...but Chris didn't mind as he munched away uninhibited and started doing schoolwork.
A nearly complete state of obliviousness came over Chris as he dove into his work while listening to music. It was nearly an hour later before he took the occasion to look up and notice that the room was no longer empty. A quick glance at his computer revealed the time and Chris marveled a little at how things seemed to have whisked by around him. Somewhat satisfied with the amount of work he had finished, Chris sat back a little just observed the room.
Nearly every table and chair in the lounge had managed to fill while he was possessed with studying. Most were involved in quiet, single studying, but there were a few groups that looked like they were doing homework together. Just as Chris was about to dismiss seeing if anyone looked familiar, he spied a face looking his way from the far side of the room. The two sets of eyes connected and the distant figure headed toward Chris. As the form approached, Chris noticed something familiar about the person, but didn't have any immediate realization as to who was coming.
"Hey," the familiar figure started. "You're Chris right?"
"Um yeah...I'm sorry, I don't quite remember..." Chris stumbled out, trying to figure out where this person knew him from.
"Oh no problem, I don't think we've actually met. I'm Ian, we have math section together...along with like 20 other people, haha."
Chris felt a small wash of realization as the face clicked in his mind. "Ah, that's it. Yeah it's a big section...I'm surprised you know my name though."
"I just happened to remember the TF called you by name." Ian looked around the room a little as he realized he had a few pairs of eyes on him. "Um, do you mind if I sit here? I think everyone is giving me dirty looks," Ian practically whispered out to avoid further dirty looks for making noise.
"Oh yeah of course," Chris said as he pushed some of his stuff aside on the table.
"Thanks man."
Ian started to pull out some of his own work to do as Chris casually looked on. Chris was in the habit of half-checking out every living thing he came across...kind of an immediate evaluation of whether the person was worth a certain kind of attention. In his mind, Chris had almost convinced himself that it wasn't shallow to do so...it was just a first reaction. Ian managed to elicit more than a second look from Chris. He was actually a little shorter than Chris...about 5'6"...but looked more heavily built. There was nothing especially striking about his appearance...he looked a bit like the typical sorta cute boy next door...but there was a kind of subtle innocence about him that Chris found interesting. Ian was flipping through a book and didn't notice the examination, which ended just before he looked up.
"Hey, have you done the homework for math yet?" Ian asked quietly.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah I actually just finished it...it's not too bad."
"Ok...um, I may be asking you for help soon then," Ian chuckled as he started looking over the problems.
"Hehe, yeah no problem." Chris wasn't especially motivated to start a conversation, but Ian took the initiative.
"So, mind if I ask where you're from?" Ian asked casually as he worked.
"Oh, I'm from Boston."
"Ah, cool. I'm from Texas."
"Really? Whereabouts?" Chris asked, a little curious since he hadn't met too many southerners.
"Austin. Have you been to Texas at all?"
"Not really...I flew through Dallas once, but that was about it. Do you miss home at all?"
"Haha, yeah kinda...but it's kinda nice to get away a little. Austin's nice though if you ever find yourself around there."
"Yeah I've heard it's cool."
"Yup, very 'un-Texas-ish' in a lot of ways, hehe." It occurred to Chris that Ian looked a little younger for some reason.
"Hey...weird question, but how old are you?"
"Haha, picked up on it huh? I'm 16."
Chris was taken by surprise. "Wow...whiz kid are you, haha."
"Heh, yeah well...I went to this special high school/college thing in Texas. It got me ahead a couple years."
"Ah, cool. Sounds kinda like my brother...he went to college early too." Chris's older brother Daniel had managed to spend only a year in high school and graduated college early as well.
"Heh, yeah we're everywhere now. It's a bit weird though...I feel a bit small I guess," Ian admitted.
"Well, I guess all freshmen feel that way a bit...we'll probably all grow into it."
"I hope so...I won't be able to drink legally before I graduate though, haha."
"Hehe...yeah well, who waits anyway?"
"Good point. So do you know people already here? Like from Boston..."
"Yeah a few. Actually my roommate and I went to high school together."
"Cool...that must be nice to know someone. I haven't really met that many other people yet. I mean I guess I haven't tried too hard, but a lot of the people here seem kinda..." Ian trailed off as he searched for the proper word.
"Snooty?" Chris volunteered.
"Haha, yeah I guess that works."
"Yep...I guess it's a condition with a lot of the people here. I'd be snooty too if my family had like a five generation legacy."
"Yeah I suppose so. Still, it wouldn't kill them to be a little friendlier."
"Actually...it might," Chris joked.
Ian got a little laugh out of the comment. "Well at least you're nice and down to earth."
"Haha, thanks. In reality I'm a sarcastic bastard." It wasn't a complete lie...
"Aw, well most interesting people are at least a little sarcastic."
"True enough. Oh hey, what's your major by the way?"
Ian smiled and answered, "That's a good question...when I figure it out, I'll let you know."
"Hehe...any clues at all?"
"Eh, probably something in the sciences...you?"
"I'm starting to lean toward doing engineering actually...my mom keeps telling me that it's the career guarantee major, haha."
"Hmm...that may be something to consider. I guess people have to work eventually, haha."
"Yeah...not in a special rush to do that, but oh well. Um, I think there's some kind of engineering major information session this week if you wanna go."
"Oh? That'd be good...may as well take a look."
"Yeah...we can be homework buddies, haha."
"Ooo...perfect. Sometimes it's just good to have another brain working on it with you."
"No kidding."
Chris and Ian both sensed that their extended conversation had started to annoy some others studying in the room, so they settled into quiet mode themselves. Later as they were leaving, the two traded contact information and parted, each happy to have made a new friend.
The middle of the night wasn't exactly the normal time to be out riding a bike, but Adam didn't really care. He had left the dorm after he was certain Chris had fallen asleep. Like many previous nights, Adam was having trouble getting to sleep, so he tried to blow off whatever energy he had so he could at least fall asleep from some kind of exhaustion. The streets in Cambridge were quiet and practically empty at one in the morning, so Adam just let chance guide him along as he was barely paying attention to where he was heading. He just kept his eyes open and took whatever path seemed opportune at the moment.
Before he knew it, Adam had been riding around the streets for over two hours and still didn't feel like he could sleep. A little sore from riding, Adam pulled over and dismounted his bike to take a look at where he had ended up. He quietly chuckled as he looked over the Charles River...from the Boston side. He barely remembered crossing the bridge from Cambridge and marveled slightly at arriving in one piece given the daze he was experiencing. After taking a minute to lock up his bike, Adam just sat down along the river, listening to music and enjoying the view.
"I guess this beats tossing and turning all night," Adam said aloud.
As he thought about it, Adam decided that he would just stay out until the morning. It had been a while since he saw a nice sunrise and the weather seemed conducive, so the idea had some appeal. On a thought, he reached into his sling bag and rummaged until he found his camera.
Adam idly smiled to himself. "Cool...I can take a few shots...for Chris."
A small voice whispered in his head, "Don't push it." His smile faded slightly as he put his camera down and faced east, waiting on the new day.