This story contains male/male consensual relationships of a romantic and sexual nature. If it is illegal for you to read this type of material, please adhere to your laws.
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Part One
Everett:
Jared was staring at Kyle again. I bit into my hamburger and watched him. This could go on for the entire lunch period. It had in the past. I bit back the jealous feeling that crept into my chest and just kept eating. Jared and I had kind of drifted towards each other sophomore year. I'll never forget how excited I was when we became friends.
It's not that I don't have a lot of friends because I do. It's just that for some reason, the people I really want to be friends with just don't hang out with me. It's probably because of how shy I am. When I like someone, even just like friends, I don't know what to say to them or I start blushing or just feel awkward. My mom says its some mild form of social phobia...and she would know because she's a head doctor.
She wanted me to take pills for awhile there, but I just refused and she gave up when my dad told her that it was entirely up to me.
Another reason why I think people might kind of stay away from me is because of how big I am. Sophomore year, I was already 6'2", even if I was sort of on the skinny side. Sometimes, I got the feeling that my legs and arms were just too long and got them tangled up. I can be clumsy, I guess, but since I started playing basketball junior year, I've gotten better at not knocking stuff over or tripping over my feet.
If I wasn't so clumsy, Jared and I would never have spoken to each other in the first place, so I'm not all that broken up about my lack of coordination. I noticed Jared freshman year. He's not popular or anything like that. He doesn't play sports. He's not in any clubs. He does get pretty decent grades without trying, though...and he is a videogame fanatic. I think one day he will get a job designing videogames for a living and he will be one of the happiest men alive.
I just hope that we're still friends then.
I had seen Jared in the halls at school, though. He was one of the people I could always imagine being friends with, but never had the chance to actually talk to. We didn't have a lot in common, besides the fact that we were both 15 and went to the same high school.
The thing I liked most about Jared from afar was the color of his eyes. They were gray, but they were so light that they seemed blue at times. It was as if they were liquid silver or mercury. I wasn't in love with Jared before I actually knew him, I just kind of thought he was cute.
We met when I knocked over his chair in Chemistry class. I still don't know exactly how I did it. I was putting my backpack down and trying to sit down at my desk at the same time and something weird happened and I knocked him and his chair over.
I heard a loud groan and then everybody in the class - inlcuding Mr. Sanders - was laughing. Jared was sprawled on the floor, holding on to his ribcage when I turned around. I helped him up and offered to escort him down to see the school nurse or Mr. Richardson, the guy in the office who handed out band-aids and stuff when the nurse wasn't there. I guess she travelled from school to school.
He held on to his ribs and laughed at me all the way down the hall as we walked. It turned out his ribs were just slightly bruised, not broken or anything. From then on, I would see him in the hall and at first he would laugh at me. Then, after awhile we would say a few words to each other. Somehow, it evolved into us spending most of every waking moment together.
I know that Jared is gay. He just out and told me a few weeks after we started hanging out. He sat me down at the Barnes and Noble where I like to potter around for a few hours once or twice a week and over a cappuccino and hot chocolate - I hate coffee - he told me that he's gay and that he's known it for years and years. I thought it was cool the way that he did it. I mean, there was no beating around the bush and I liked that. I also felt a little weird when he told me, like a rush of warmth just flew through me and I was happy.
I won't say that I never thought about guys in that way before. I just never thought that it meant that I was gay. After Jared came out to me, I started to sort out my own feelings...and so far, I've realized that I'm a lot more attracted to guys than I am to girls...even though I do find girls attractive, too. I don't really want to say I'm any kind of sexual anything...because I've never had any sex. So, how do I know if I'm hetero or homo or bi or whatever?
I do know what my heart feels, though...and I've never met anybody like Jared. I feel like I love him. If love is wanting to be with one person more than anyone else, then I'm in love. This is the one thing that I haven't been able to tell Jared, though, because I think it might bring our friendship to an end.
Not that he would mind that I might be gay, but just because he could get awkward about me feeling this way about him. See, Jared's been in love with this kid Kyle since the second grade, I think...as long as I've known him at least. He's always talking about him, staring at him, or daydreaming about him. Next to Kyle, I don't stand a chance.
Kyle plays soccer and looks like somebody's dream. Not the jock type that everybody goes for right off the bat, but he's very good-looking. He's got shoulder-length blonde hair and he's always traipsing around in his soccer shorts, showing off his legs. Even I have to admit, the guy's got killer legs, it must be all that running around and up and down the soccer field.
The only problem is that Kyle doesn't know that Jared is alive. Jared's been eating his heart out over the guy since forever and I don't think they've even ever said hello to each other.
I've said hello to Kyle a few times. We went to camp together when we were twelve. He was on the basketball team for like two months during junior year, too...I think he was thinking about giving up soccer then but he changed his mind. He's a decent enough guy, I guess. I think he might be kind of shallow. It's not because he's got highlights in his hair and only wears Ambercrombie and stuff like that either. I just think that maybe the kids he hangs around with are just for show, not like real friends. No matter what I think, he's definitely into appearances. Which means that in all likelihood, it being our senior year, he's probably not gonna notice Jared.
I'm kind of relieved about that because of the way I feel. But at the same time I wish it wasn't that way because I know what its like to want someone that much and not really have a chance of ever getting them. It sucks. The worse times are when I think I'm holding it all together nicely and then I find myself alone in my room crying. I am not one of those people who just cries for no reason. It's gotta hurt real bad for me to cry...that's when I realize that inside I am really hurt. It's not that instant, kind of blinding pain that comes and then is gone...but a slow achy feeling in your chest that burns if you let yourself think about it...and can hurt like hell if you don't stop and think about something else.
But I love Jared too much to lose him. I don't care what we are, friends or boyfriends or whatever. As long as we're a big part of each other's lives, I think that I'll be fine.
*** Jared:
I swear Kyle Riley was looking at me today. It's not just in my head, either. I was sitting on the steps on the side of the school by the student parking lot, waiting for Everett to pull up in his pickup truck and Kyle and some of his soccer friends were standing off to the side playing hacky sack, which is so 1995, but they're soccer players into the footwork and leg muscles, so you get over it.
Anyway, he stopped and looked at me. I looked behind me and there was no one there, so he had to be looking at me. God, I hope he was looking at me.
Everett never says anything, but I know he thinks I'm crazy for being so obsessive about Kyle. I mean, he's heard all of my stories and all of my near-instances of interaction with Kyle...and I know I must seem lame as hell half the time, but he's never once riled me for it, which is one of the reasons that I love him so much. He's the best friend I could have ever wished for and he just dropped out of nowhere.
I had some friends before him, but I don't know why he's just a way better friend than anybody else I've ever hung out with. He's the kind of guy you can tell basically anything to and he won't make you feel bad at all and you know that he cares about you because he does stuff to show it.
Like when my bike - yeah, I ride a bike because I failed driver's ed...twice - broke and I couldn't fix it, he came over and spent two hours repairing the chain and brake for me. And he even spent Thanksgiving at my house when all of my crazy relatives came over and didn't even bat an eye when my Uncle Kenny got drunk and started cussing at everybody or when my great Aunt Gertie's teeth fell out on the dining table when she fell asleep.
When I told him I was gay, he didn't have half of the reaction that I expected. He's a jock, basically. When we first met, though, he was kind of a regular guy. I didn't know if he would get mad at me or hate me or not wanna talk to me or what. But basically, he just looked at me and said, "Yeah, okay". And he looked like he was happy for some reason. I think its because he was glad that we were good enough friends that I would want to tell him right out and not keep it from him.
"So, do you wanna go to the lake on Saturday?" he asked me and I snapped out of my thoughts and looked over at him. Everett's not the kind of guy who talks a lot. So, when he says anything, I normally try to listen.
With the basketball season back in full swing, our usual schedule was disrupted. It used to be that we would go to my house right after school and eat whatever my dad cooked, play videogames for an hour or so, then go to Everett's place and eat whatever his mom cooked, shoot hoops and play some more videogames until his mom called my dad and they decided it was time I got home.
Every once in awhile, we would go to Sand Lake and hang around. This was something we liked to do when he had a break from games or basketball practice. It was like a special trip, quality time or whatever. That's one of the other things I really like about Everett. He's not the kind of guy that shies away from mushy stuff. Like if I tell him that I miss hanging out, he understands and we'll do something special, he'll make time for me.
Now, if I only had Kyle, my life would be perfect. I know that if we just get to know each other, he won't be able to resist me. Not that I'm all that, but when it comes to Kyle I'd figure out how to make him happy.
"The lake on Saturday sounds cool," I told him and grinned across the table at him. Everett is way too tall, like 6'5", which makes him a good point guard but he towers over everyone else. He's got chestnut brown hair and chestnut brown eyes. In a way, I guess, he's kind of cute. He had finished his food awhile ago and pushed the tray aside. His backpack was in front of him on the table and he was kind of slumped over it, his eyes fixed on me.
"Okay," he said, still staring at me. For a second, something flashed in his eyes as he looked at me. For a minute, this crazy thought flashed through my head. Did he? I pushed the thought aside. ********************************************************* This is planned to be a nice little short story, maybe 5+ installments. Just a little something new and easy for the dieharders. I hope you all like it. You can always let me know by joining my group!
To be continued..........................
This and all of my stories are published first on my yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/storiesvi/