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Disclaimer: This story is fictional. Some of the things that happened or will happen with Harry and Jasper, especially in the high school scene, are bits and pieces of my life. Parts of the character are fictional as well. All other characters were made up and any similarities are just coincidental. This is gay romance between teenage boys, there may be sex, but for the most part, it's about their true love of each other so if that offends you, please discontinue reading. Also, if it is illegal for you to read such material, you have been warned.
I hope you're enjoying it and that the story draws you in wanting more. If you have any suggestions or concerns, do not hesitate to email me at harryscotthayden@outlook.com. Thoughts and suggestion are always welcomed and may or may not be implemented. Concerns will be considered and addressed as much as possible.
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It Has Always Been You - Chapter 17 - Finally They Did It-1
Their preliminary exam had just begun. Nick was not feeling much confident. He had problems concentrating as his mind was mostly on Mikael. He thought he was ready for the exam, but basically he was not. He was feeling stressed, disturbed, uneasy and confused. It had nothing to do with the exam... it was more about Mikael.
He had come to realize lately that Mikael had been trying to distance himself from him. He wondered what he had done wrong. All of this was playing over and over again in his mind like a broken record player and he was bothered by it.
Mikael has been always busy being around Drake. It seemed like he had totally forgotten about Nick. Mikael and Drake both were getting bolder with PDAs... and not really caring about people around them, seeing what they were doing. It felt so natural to be able to feel the freedom to express the love for each other.
There were a couple of times when Nick had tried calling Mikael, and yet he would always get the same answer. That Mikael was busy, but then he would be seen in town with Drake, having the time of their life.
He wanted to confront Mikael, but what for? He was not Mikael's boyfriend... not yet though. Did he want to be, he doubt so? But at least he needed to know why Mikael was avoiding him. He thought that he and Mikael was alright being mates again. The time they spent together, even if it was just for studying, was enough to make him feel elated.
And now all of this happens. Amy saw the frustration on Nick's face, but she took it as exam anxiety. She also had tried to console Nick but she was brushed off. Amy felt so dejected with Nick's rejection. She did not know what she needed to do to calm him. She tried to wonder what was on Nick mind that make him the way he was.
Lately it was not as easy as before, being Nick's girlfriend. The lust, love and affection were not as freely shared among the two of them. It was more of a touch and go kind of relationship. Nick mood swing had effected them tremendously. She really do love Nick and wanted for them to last. For now, she will go with the flow and if Nick needed space to calm down, she will do it.
It was the third day of their examinations. Mikael had already done his in the morning. Nick was again distracted as on his mind was only about Mikael and Drake. Nick entered the examination room with so much anticipation and rage of jealousy. He could not contain and controlled his emotions. It was on the verge to explode and he dreaded the outcome. He was aware that he needed to concentrate for his exam, but he simply could not do it. His mind was totally corrupted with images of Mikael and Drake.
He, himself, was contemplating to why was he feeling this way. He was known to be straight and as of now to be bothered about Mikael action and reaction, confused him greatly. Does he really have feelings for Mikael? But what triggered him to have that feeling? Should not he be happy that Mikael had finally stopped fancying him and are happy with his boyfriend and that itself, bothered him a lot.
Nick was sitting at his desk, question papers were distributed and all students were advised that they had two hours to complete it and to begin. Nick turned his paper over and started to answer the questions one by one. An hour had passed. His mind was totally not focusing with the tasked on hand, answering the damn examination papers. Instead, he was meddling with the pencil and was seen scribbling on the desk.
He was not totally concentrating on writing the answers on the answer sheets. But to use the pencil to write on his desk the words "MIKAEL LOVES NICK". Then he forcefully erased his name and changed it to "DRAKE". His breathing was getting heavier, deeper and faster. He was on the verge of breakdown and could not take it anymore.
He was so miserable and out of focused and claustrophobic. It seems that the examination room was getting smaller by the seconds and was suffocating him. He badly needed to get out from there. He just packed up his stationery and put it back in his pencil case, pushed back the chair roughly, stood up and left the room in a haste.
Amy and everyone else noticed the commotion that was happening at the back of the room. She only knew what it was when she saw Nick walking out of the classroom hastily looking flustered. She was puzzled and wanted to run after Nick to stop him, but she didn't.
So many things were running through her mind, but she needed to focus on the matter at hand... her exam. For sure, she would not be jeopardizing her future by dishing the exam like Nick does. As much as her love Nick, this is something she has to do for her future's sake.
Nick did not know what to do, yet he knew where he was going. So he quickened his step along the hallway and out of the school. Once outside he stopped for a while and took a deep breath. The fresh air that filled his lungs gave him some sort of calmness. Looking around him for a moment and proceeded to his main objective.
He became nervous when he reaches Mikael front door. Yeah, he decided to go see Mikael, for what, only he knew. Composing himself, straightening up his clothing, took a deep breath again and he pressed the doorbell and waited. He was not even sure if Mikael would be home or not. Even Drake might also be with Mikael in the house at the moment. The only thing he knew was that Mikael's father would not be around as his work as a doctor will probably keep him working at the hospital until late evening and Mikael would have the whole house to himself. He was really hoping for the best.
A minute or two had passed and no sound was coming from the other side of the door. He felt anxious and tried pressing the doorbell again, and after a few seconds more, he heard feet shuffling toward the door. It clicks and slowly opens, showing the face that he was longing to see.
Mikael was surprised to see Nick at his doorstep. He showed Nick a questioning and quizzical face, yet still stepped aside from the door to let Nick walked in. Once Nick was inside, Mikael closed the door and locked it. He turned to walk toward Nick, who was already standing and waiting for him in the living room.
Nick asked, "Are you alone?" without ever looking at Mikael. He was facing away from Mikael, as he was feeling ashamed for barging into Mikael house this way and also did not want Mikael to see his nervousness. He somehow knew that Mikael might have lots of questions to why was he at Mikael's house in the first place.
"What? Yeah, I am. My dad already left for work a few hours ago. Are not you supposed to be having exams right now?" Mikael replied and questioned Nick at the same time.
Nick did not answer, instead he asked Mikael again with another question, "Do you have a drink?"
"What? like a drink, drink?" Mikael was not sure and confused to what he was hearing. He took a look at Nick closely, but what he saw was an indecisive, flustered, confused boy and yet had an aura of manliness and cuteness which he adored from the first time he had known Nick.
Nick just nodded his head and proceeded to walk into the kitchen and sat at the bar counter with his face on his hands.
Mikael went to the fridge and took out the leftover sherry, took two shot glasses and pour the contents into it. "Sorry Nick, this is all we have left from last weekend, hope you don't mind." He pushed one of the filled glasses to Nick.
Nick took it and gulped it instantly and pushed the empty shot glass over to Mikael for more. Mikael poured another glass for him. After the third shot, Nick felt a bit calmer from the effect of the alcohol and felt more relaxed as his face felt slightly warm from the liquor.
"So, are you going to meet with Drake later?" Nick suddenly asked Mikael, who seems surprised by it.
"Yeah, maybe, not really sure actually, Why?" By this time Mikael was sitting directly facing Nick at the bar counter. The empty Sherry's bottle was at the center of the kitchen bar counter together with the shot glasses.
"So you and Drake are keeping it casual, is it?" Nick still looked flustered with emotion.
"Well, I am seeing him... yeah... I am making it sound vague because I heard you say some nasty things about Drake." Mikael makes it clear to Nick with a slightly higher pitched voice.
"Huh... No, I did not and why would I do that?" Nick tried defending himself for being accused.
Mikael shrugged his shoulders and said" How would I know as only you got the answer."
"Maybe... just maybe... he was arrogant and self-centered." Nick was angry with Mikael's accusation of him mouthing off about Drake.
"That is not what I have heard." Mikael smirking.
"So what do you think the reason was, huh?" Nick tried to calm himself as he did not want to have a confrontation with Mikael. That was not his intention of why he came to see Mikael.
"It is not fair Nick. I am trying to get on with my life." Mikael sounded sad.
"Who's stopping you? No one.... not me, " Nick was looking away from Mikael, not wanting for Mikael to see his tensed emotion. He hurriedly hopped off the stool and walked away from Mikael to the other side of the kitchen. He stands leaning the kitchen counter and was fidgeting with his finger.
Mikael jumped up from the stool to stop Nick while saying "Drake asked me not to be friend with you anymore since he knows how much I like you Nick." Mikael spoke in a tone higher to get the words across to Nick.
"What? What? You're just saying that." Nick stuttered. he had a slight smile formed at the corner of his mouth after hearing that Mikael still like him.
"That's what I thought." Mikael sighed deeply. "I, I thought you... you were pretty much off with me." Now it's Mikael's turn to stutter. He did not know why. But it happened every time he was around Nick. It was as though Nick was able to make him feel in awe with his present in from of him and he was lost for words.
"No, no, not at all, " Nick defended himself. "Maybe... maybe I was off with your boyfriend, but definitely not with you."
"OK... ok fine... so tell me then... why you've been off with Drake?" Mikael seeks answers from Nick while staring at him. "What had he done to make you feel that way?"
"I just do not like him. Everyone thinks he's so nuts." Nick tells Mikael.
"And that includes me then and who is everyone Nick?" Nick felt pressured with Mikael questions.
"Why? Maybe my taste is a bit more sophisticated." Nick felt like he was being cornered and interrogated by Mikael. He felt so uncomfortable.
"So tell me, what is your taste Nick? Or did you had already made it clear of your taste, when you decked me at the gym?" Mikael tried to sound dominating and was bombarding Nick with more questions..
Nick rolled his eyes when he was again reminded of that incident. "That was ages ago Mikael and I am already sorry about it. We are mates again now, okay."
"Nick... Nick... mates do not get jealous of boyfriends... yeah, jealous!" Mikael was surprised to see Nick's reaction to what he was saying. Nick was looking down feeling dejected and shameful. "Please tell me you're not..."
When Nick looked up to face Mikael, there were tears running down his cheeks and he was sniffling softly. "You... you used to fancy me... when did you stop... when did you stop fancying me?" More tear drops were cascading down from Nick's eyes. At that very moment, Mikael was shocked with emotions and could not reply to Nick.
"When did you get over me... how? How can you make yourself, stop from loving someone?" Nick kept on buggering Mikael with questions while he was still sniffling with sadness. "You said... you said you loved me Mikael."
"I did." Mikael spoke softly. "And I still do."
Nick smiled a little hearing what Mikael said. He walked away from the kitchen counter and moved in closer to Mikael, while reaching his arms to hold Mikael.
"Why are you doing this, eh?" Mikael was suddenly full of anger. "You're making fun of me... or... you're teasing me... or what, Nick?"
Nick was shocked by Mikael's outburst of emotions and reaction. He immediately seemed lost and did not know what to do. His hands went up to rummage through his hair as he faces Mikael once again.
"Have you... you know... done it with Drake?" Nick sounded ashamed asking Mikael this question "How did it feel... did it feel wrong?" he continued with the questions.
Mikael did not answer but he just nodded his head. After a while he said, "No... not at all. In fact, it felt great."
"Do you love him, Mikael?" Yet another personal question from Nick as he moved closer towards Mikael.
Mikael was blushing hearing Nick's questions, "Not as much as I love you Nick." it was a soft tone and only Nick could hear it as he was standing pretty close to Mikael.
That was the thing Nick wanted to hear from Mikael. Feeling braver, he shortens the distance between him and Mikael by getting closer, so that their bodies were touching each other. Mikael reacted shocked for a moment, but did not say anything. He was so dumbfounded.
By now Nick already had both his hands on Mikael shirt collar and he was pulling Mikael, leaning into him. Seconds later, he brushed his lips gently against Mikael's. Mikael did not respond at first, but then he kisses Nick back and pulled Nick in by his neck for a deeper kiss.
It was a more desperate kiss from Nick. But Mikael did not really care as it was Nick who was kissing him and he savored this moment totally.
******************************************** Please continue to read part 2 as it is a continuation.
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Specials word of gratitude to my editor friend Neal H. for a fabulous editing.
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