This is a story about the growing up and coming of age of a typical Ohio boy by the name of Jason as told to me through the exchange of a series of Email. It is a true story detailing true events with only the names, including Jason's, having been changed to protect the travellers we meet along the way. The lyrics to Almost Paradise sung by Mike Reno and Ann Wilson are copyright by Dean Pitchford. We pick up where we left off in Chapter 5 with fifteen-year-old Jason wet and sticky after a phone sex jerk session with his girl Christine and about to discover love sweet love. Comments about the story can be sent to the author, J.O. Dickingson at authorsix@hotmail.com and those who wish to correspond directly with Jason may do so at journeyofjason@yahoo.com
CHAPTER SIX: ALMOST PARADISE
I thought that dreams belonged to other men
'Cause each time I got close
They'd fall apart again
I feared my heart would beat in secrecy
I faced the nights alone
Oh, how could I have known
That all my life I only needed you?
Christine and I are officially together I think a total of twelve days.
In late April we have a quick make out session before I leave for the youth trip and then I am on a bus to Kentucky. We go to a Christian concert with all sorts of rock bands and preaching and communion and the like. It is a big bunch of bull as far as I am concerned, but I have fun. The trip takes us about twelve hours and I sit with Nicole on the way down. On the way we stop at a rest stop for a sack lunch and while we are eating I notice a girl walk by who is just beautiful.
I literally fall off the bench as she goes past. I have never seen her before and when I get back on the bus I ask Nicole who she is. She isn't sure but asks a friend of hers and finds out her name is Tara and that she is from the sister church to our church. Both churches have the same pastor but we rarely do anything together. Thinking I will never have a chance with her, I just figured she will be another unreachable goal, another image and fantasy to jack off to.
The members of our church are good friends with some of the people that live in the area, so we have houses to stay at instead of having to camp out. There is one house for the girls from our church, one for the younger kids, and one for the guys and the girls from the other church. So to my surprise and delight Tara is in the same house as I am and I start thinking that I might have a hope of at least talking to her. After we get settled in, we go to the grounds where the concert is and set up our tarp. Nicole and I sit next to each other and start talking and laughing and having a good time. I decide to stretch out and take a nap as I didn't get much sleep on the bus.
When I wake up, I hear Nicole talking to somebody, but I don't recognize the voice. I roll over to look and it is Tara a gorgeous sight to see when you are fifteen and first wake up! She is 5'7", probably 135 pounds, and has brown hair that she wears just about shoulder length. That is the one thing that disappoints me. I like to see long hair on girls. She does have a big butt, nothing like Kay, but big on her body, and of course I love butts so for me it just adds to her attractiveness. I am sure I, on the other hand, don't look that great after spending over twelve hours on a bus. Having started growing my hair out the previous year, it is pretty long and sticking up everywhere, so I'm laying there self-conscious and not knowing what to do. Nicole on the other hand knows how I feel about Tara, mainly because I hadn't stopped talking about her since I'd first seen her, so she introduces us and then excuses herself, leaving us alone.
So we start talking, the usual stuff, how long the trip was, how great it is going to be, stuff like that. I find out that Tara is in my grade, but almost a full year younger than I. It is like we are old friends in minutes and from that moment on we are joined at the hip for the rest of the concert. We eat together, walk around together, and most important, walk back to the house together. We are really able to talk on those walks, it being at least thirty minutes from the grounds to the house. The first day I start telling her about Christine and ask if she has anyone at home that she had to leave to come down here. She says no and that she has never had a boyfriend before. I can't believe it with her being so pretty and I tell her so. She just kind of laughs, pleased but sort of embarrassed, and we keep talking. I tell her that Christine and I are not getting along that well and that I am going to break up with her when I get home, kind of dropping a hint. Hey, I am fifteen and fueled by hormones.
That night I set up camp on the floor next to a piano. The girls are in a separate room off of the living room, but they come out to get something to eat before bed and I get to see her again, wearing a silky purple nightgown. It isn't too revealing, this being a group event and a church function and all, but she looks hot all the same. As she walks past me back to their room, she looks at me and says goodnight with a big smile. I have really good dreams that night!
The next day walking back to the concert, she is up ahead of me talking with some of her friends from the other church so I just let her go, not wanting to push myself on her. I am really lost in thought, mostly about her, and don't realize I have stopped dead in my tracks until the group calls my name. I look up and they are about a block away so I have to haul ass to catch up to them. When I do, Tara walks with me the rest of the way to the grounds. We sit together again and do everything together the rest of the day. I can really feel myself falling in love with her, like we are meant to be together. For the first time in my life I know there is a purpose to everything and that there is a God. Okay, I know, I am fifteen and everything seems life- changing when you are that age, but this is real. I am in love, totally, for the first time in my life.
We only have two days left, so I know I have to work fast to find out if she is interested in me and I try my best, but the rest of the trip goes by with nothing exciting happening, and with great sadness, I board the bus and head back to Ohio. We get home and everyone goes their own way. Christine and I continue our little kissing and sexual encounters for a few days but we don't really feel a connectedness and I break up with her, which is just as fine with her too.
Despite the time we'd spent together and my attempts to find out if she liked me, I didn't think to ask Tara her last name or phone number or anything. I talk to Nicole about it and she not only finds out where Tara lives, but takes me to her house. To my disappointment Tara has a softball game so isn't home. Nicole leaves some pictures and her number and I do get to meet Tara's mother and she seems really nice. A few days later, Nicole and I are talking on the phone and she says that Tara has called her and they had talked a bit and she, Nicole, thinks that we should get together to talk.
A few days later, we have a meeting at the church and not being all that interested in the church side of things I wasn't planning on going, but Nicole keeps after me and finally convinces me to go. I discover why when we get to the church. Tara is there. I don't think of it at the time, but I would not be surprised that Nicole had something to do with that too. Of course we hang out together and I tell Nicole that I think Tara might like me but I'm not sure. Well, Nicole grabs us both and sits us on the steps leading up to the main floor of the church and says, "look, you both like each other, you are both telling me about it, and I am getting tired of it. Sit here and talk it out and leave me alone." With that she turns and stomps off, pretending to be angry. We are both so stunned that we really don't say anything for a few minutes, and when we do talk, we really don't know what to say. We finally decide to trade phone numbers and talk about it later.
April 30, 1995, 9:05 p.m. One of those magical moments that remain forever in a guy's memory. Tara and I are on the phone and that is the moment I ask if she will be my girlfriend. I always hate having to ask that because everything seems so awkward and cliche.
"Will you go with me?"
"Where?"
"I mean will you be my girlfriend?"
"You mean you would like to go steady?"
"Ah, yeah." What decade am I from?
Anyway, she says yes and the happiest years of my life begin.
We talk on the phone every night after that and decide to go to the skating rink the first weekend we are together. We skate for a while and then sit at one of the tables and talk. My mom is supposed to pick us up at nine so we start to take our skates off and get ready to go around 8:45. We still have a few minutes so we sit on a bench just looking into each other's eyes. There is music playing in the background and the light from the rink forms a halo around us. It is a perfect evening. We both know a kiss is coming and she says that she really doesn't know what to do. I say it is okay and lean in to kiss her. The first try she doesn't open her mouth, and the second she opens her mouth but it is not much of a kiss. I lean back to look at her and she is so embarrassed and says she is sorry. I just say it is okay and that we should get going. We get in the back of Mom's van and sit next to each other with my arm around her and she is leaning into my chest and I feel wonderful. She lives about fifteen minutes away and I wish it could be fifteen hours and we could sit just like that all the way. We drop her off at her house and I come home and just float around the rest of the night.
Since we live so far away, we go to different schools and don't get to see each other very often. Of course neither of us can drive so we are pretty much stuck to our parents' schedules as to when we can get together, which is usually Friday evening, and most of Saturday and Sunday. I begin going to the Methodist Church on a regular basis so we can be together more often. We always take so long deciding what to do we seldom have much time left to do it, but we always have fun when are together and we don't really have to do anything special. We are big on walking. She lives in the country so when we go to her place we walk through the woods behind her house. When we are at my house we walk all over my town, which is probably only ten miles from one end to the other, but we make the most of it. We walk to the park or the elementary school playground and just goof around. If we go somewhere, it is usually the skate rink or the mall. Tara's parents sometimes take us up to a go-kart track and mini golf course in Canton and her dad and she and I spend a few hours driving around and playing. Afterwards I am so sore I can't walk for about a week from being cramped up inside the kart for so long but it is worth it just being able to be with Tara. Often we just sit in my living room and watch TV or a movie or just talk. We can sit for hours and just carry on about everything or just sit and be in each others company without saying anything.
In May and June, the towns have street festivals so we go to those, and we go to country concerts at a stage that is about ten miles from my house. The guy who owns it is trying to make it into a "Jamboree in The Hills" like they have in Southern Ohio, but it never makes it. At that time my parents are starting to get into going to classic rock concerts at the different street festivals and rib fests and they take Tara and me along with them. The first time we see REO Speedwagon Tara pronounces their name Rio instead of R-E-O and I make fun of her, a simple thing and I'm just joking around and teasing, but something I discover later is not so little. We see Iron Butterfly, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Kansas, Foghat, Loverboy, Blue Oyster Cult, some of the best bands from the 70's and 80's. I really begin to love that music. I was born a few generations too late or too early. I missed the sexual revolution of the 60' and 70's which I would have really enjoyed and instead my generation has AIDS and Herpes and all the other STDs, and now today's generation doesn't seem to care about all the taboos and are very uninhibited, an attitude I wish my generation had.
For Tara's fifteenth birthday in June her parents buy her a CD player. I've barely known her for a month so have little idea what her likes are, but figure she'd like the CD "Swing, swang, swung" by the Christian rock group Guardian, who we both like. To my relief, from her reaction it is a good choice. Eric, my nephew, and Tara get along pretty well together. We are never around him that much though. He always calls us two love bugs. It is so cute I can almost puke.
Eric's mother starts a daycare service in her house for four or five kids and I ride my bike up to her house and help her with the kids that summer. I enjoy playing with them. At one in the afternoon she puts them down for a nap and she and I watch "Days of Our Lives." When the kids get up, I play with them a while longer and then go home. One girl she watches, Lynn, is around seven or eight and is a cute little blond girl. One day I'm up in the playroom with just her and Eric and they both have to go to the bathroom so I go in with them. Eric goes first and complains that Lynn is watching him. I tell him she isn't and to just hurry up and then she goes in. Lynn has these bib overalls on and has to take them all the way down to sit on the toilet. When she is done, she stands up, pulls some toilet paper off the roll, turns around, and drops it in the toilet without wiping. I find this really funny. She knows girls use toilet paper after they pee but doesn't know what to do with it.
One day when I come home from Chris's house Mom is watching Eric for the day. I go up to the bathroom and as I usually do when I just have to piss, I only push the door closed a little way. Eric of course follows me the moment I step in the door as he always does. The steps going upstairs are right across from the bathroom door and he sits on the steps waiting for me to get done. The door is open far enough that I can see him looking in, but I don't think he can see my dick. I get hard with him watching me and decide to jerk off. I shoot in a few minutes and flush the evidence.
Another day that summer while we are watching my nephew Eric for the day, I take a shower and when I go upstairs to my room to get dressed he follows me up. I tell him to turn around so I can put my underwear on but now a typical defiant three-year-old, he won't. I have to struggle to keep my towel on while stepping into my underwear so he wouldn't see anything. I figure at that point that he should not be seeing me naked. I start thinking about it later that day and later that week though, and decide that if he wants to see me, why not show him? I do have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in me at times.
Well, a few weeks later when we are up in my room and I spill something on my jeans, I tell him I am going to have to change and ask if he will step out of my room. He does this time and pulls the door closed far enough that it looks closed, but I can see there is a gap left that he can look through. I figure what the hell and take off my pants and decide to give him the full show so I change my underwear too. I catch him out of the corner of my eye looking in through the crack in the door but I don't let on that I see him. Knowing that he is watching me causes me to get erect. I take a few extra seconds so he can see and then I pull my clothes back on and tell him he can come back in.
Won't you know it, I fall on something a few minutes later and scratch the hell out of my elbow and bleed on my pants so I have to change them again! He stays in the room this time and I only change my jeans. A little later that evening, I am getting something in my closet and have another hard on so I pull my dick out and jerk off in the closet so he can't see. He is so caught up in what he is playing with he doesn't notice what I am doing. After that night, I would just happen to be changing every time he came up into my room, feeding the exhibitionist within.
I love getting off in public places, and I start to leave my load at the public washrooms all over. One day that summer Tara and I and my family go to the Cedar Point amusement park in Northern Ohio. I excuse myself to go take a piss, and when I enter the restroom I see this kid around fourteen that is totally hot. I step up to the urinal next to him and have a perfect view of his dick. By the time the kid is done I've boned up, which makes pissing a bitch. It is also embarrassing, the restroom being in the center of the park and heavily used.
I go back out and rejoin Tara and we walk around a bit but I can't get the image of the kid standing there pissing out of my mind. Finding a more secluded restroom, I tell Tara I really have to go. Entering the closest stall, I go at it like a mad man and am shooting my load in the bowl in no time.
Another afternoon just before school starts, I'm out at Geuaga Lake, again with my girlfriend Tara and my family. I go into the changing room and purposely head for the farthest stall so I walk past all the other stalls. I love this particular changing room. There are no curtains or doors on the stalls, so I have a great opportunity to see other guys, most of them between twelve and fourteen, changing into or out of their swim suits. Of course by the time I get to the last stall I'm randy. I push down my pants and underwear and am busy going at it when this guy comes in and from their voices I can tell he is with his little kid. I have my bag out so people can see there is someone in the stall, and I'm in the last one, so I'm not too concerned. For some reason he goes into the stall beside me but by then I'm developing a good steam and I'm not about to stop. Well I am stroking it good when I look up and see his kid isn't a boy but a girl of about six and she is peeking at me from around the corner. Well, I am totally freaked! I leap up, pull up my clothes, and race out of there like the place is on fire.
Another of my many fetishes is getting off on people swearing that are either too young or seem too innocent to swear. I always love it when Tara swears, which is not that often, but it always gets to me.
For my sixteenth birthday Tara gets me a Structure shirt, showing she knows as little about my likes as I do hers. I very rarely wear it, just not being the Structure type person. Also that July my parents and grandpa buy me my first car, a two-tone green 1981 Oldsmobile Cutlas LX. It is a God awful color, but it is my car. I start taking driver's training and complete all the requirements that September. My parents let me drive with them to Grandma's or to Tara's, nothing too far to begin with, and of course never alone on just a learner's permit. They want me to have as much driving experience as possible before they let me get my license, so they make me wait until my permit is about to expire before they allow me to take the test. This is when I start wearing my contacts. I need to wear something for driving, so I decide on the contacts, deep, royal blue. I love the color.
My height and weight stayed much the same that summer, but my hair got a bit darker brown and by the time I was ready to start school again was a few inches past my collar and I could finally pull it back into a half decent tail. I never got it cut or styled, so it was all ragged and not the same length all the way around.
Back in the summer before eighth grade, Chris and I and some of the other guys used to get together and play football and a few girls from around the corner would often play with us too. There were five girls in this one family, each one more tomboyish than the last. You could tell their parents wanted a boy. It was always fun being with them. Chris had a huge crush on the middle sister, Renee, at the time. Renee's younger sister was Jessica. I didn't know how old she was or really anything about her except that she went to the Catholic school. She was very plain, a little shorter than I was at the time, probably about 5'3, and had blondish hair. She was a tough little thing. She would play football, softball, street hockey, pretty much any sport we would play, and she would give it one hundred percent and go after the guys that everyone else was afraid to. During one of the football games I was guarding her and grabbed her by the shoulders and looked down into her eyes. I fell in love that moment and Jessica was added to my growing list of fantasy partners during my jack off fantasies. We got together a few times after that for sports and things, and I always enjoyed being with her and the others, but nothing developed between us. In tenth grade, I take a history class that is a mix of ninth and tenth graders. During role call, I hear Jessica's name and almost give myself whiplash turning to see her. There she is, changed some, but still just as beautiful to me, and my jerk off fantasies begin anew.
At the start of the school year, our sophomore year, Tara writes me a letter about how she feels and how she always has fun when we are together, but she tells me not to say anything to her because she would probably get embarrassed. I write her back and tell her that I always have fun with her too and that I really love her. She comes over to my house the following weekend and we are laying on my floor kind of wrestling around. I wind up on top of her looking into her eyes when she says "I love you too." We kiss a little and then go out and walk over to the elementary playground and goof around.
It is funny, but she always seems to call me at the worst times. Like I am bored one Saturday and she calls and asks what I am doing. I am watching the Woodright Shop on PBS and tell her I am just sitting watching some guy peel bark off of a tree. She just kind of laughs and says, "Are you that bored?" Always things like that. When we are going to kiss, we sit and look at each other for ten to twenty minutes. We both know what is coming but don't have the nerve to kiss each other. When we finally do kiss, it is never anything deeply passionate, just a nice sweet innocent kiss. It is a nice, sweet, innocent time of our lives.
This all changes in September when we rent Hellraiser of all movies to rent, but one which is sort of symbolic of my life. We are watching it and then start looking at each other like we always do. It doesn't take long before I am on top of her kissing her and we are both grinding against each other. It is a funny way for us to lose our inhibitions, watching Hellraiser, but whatever works! I still get hot when I watch that movie. I often wonder if subconsciously I related the movie to my times with James that night and it was those memories that made me loose my inhibitions. Anyway, after that we are able to just kiss each other without the big lead in. It is really nice. There is also more passion in our kisses.
Whoa
Almost paradise
We're knockin' on heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise
It seems like perfect love's so hard to find
I'd almost given up
You must have read my mind
And all these dreams I saved for a rainy day
They're finally coming true
I'll share them all with you
'Cause now we hold the future in our hands
It is around that time that Mike and I stop getting together. Tara is in part why I stop doing stuff with him. I never really consider it cheating, but it just feels weird dating her and messing around with Mike. Besides, I am getting tired of the constant sex. (I can't believe I just said that!) The truth is, Mike and I don't really have all that much in common, and getting one off is all he wants whenever he comes over. With the novelty and challenge of it long past I am getting sick of it. I suspect Mike senses that, or maybe he is looking for something more than just whip it out, get it off, and wipe it off too. Anyway, being guys we don't ever discuss it. One day I just stop answering his calls and talking to him and we stop doing it.
I suspect if I hadn't we'd still be doing stuff.
December I take my driving test and pass on my first try with a 100 driving and a 95 maneuverability, only because I was on a thin bit of ice with the maneuver and stopped because I was sliding a bit. On Friday, January 19, 1996, my parents finally let me drive out to Tara's house by myself, a twenty minute drive. It is another rememberable day for more reasons than one. Tara and I had been talking about doing something weird together and had decided to color our hair, which is almost the same color and naturally brown. Tara's winter homecoming is the next day, Saturday, so we decide to do it that night, figuring it would be good for pictures, and so that is the whole purpose of my going out to her place that Friday. We go into the pharmacy, a local little family run place, and pick out a color that will wash out in something like two dozen washes. Having never colored my hair before myself, Tara colors it for me. For some reason hair color doesn't stick to my hair really well and my hair, which is a little past shoulder length, comes out almost maroon.
Anyway, I leave her house at eleven but I never make it home that night. As I am going around a turn, I hit a patch of black ice and spin the car off an embankment. The car rolls several times, breaks all the glass out, and lands on the passenger side. I total the car and wind up with fortunately only a bruised hip and glass in my hands. I run to the closest house and they call 911. After talking with them I call Mom and tell her to meet me at the hospital and I tell her to call Tara and tell her what happened. Her house is about five minutes away so her dad brings her to where I am and she gets there just as they load me into the ambulance. My dad is there and sees her crying when she sees my car.
I call her the next day to tell her that I am fine, but that I won't be able to go to her winter homecoming with her. I am very sore and almost pass out every time I stand up. I joke with her that I knew I would find a way to get out of going to the dance. I personally don't like dancing in that I don't know what to do, but I love being with her and really I'm disappointed. Her mom drops her off at my house and they both come in to give me a hug and also a little lecture on how I worried them. Tara and I just sit around that day and the next. I can't really do much. She does cling to me because she is so worried about me, and the two of us being in love for the first time, it is sort of a wonderful, dreamy time. We call the people from the florists and tell them that we don't need the flowers, but they have them put together already and just give them to us anyway.
It takes me a few days to get back to normal after the accident and I miss three days of school because I can't stand without getting light headed. Tara and I continue to talk on the phone every night until around ten and we get together on weekends. For our first Valentines Day together Mom drives me out to her house and it is snowing pretty badly. Mom gets stuck in the lane and it takes forty-five minutes to get her out, which shoots all the time that we would have had together. When we are finally alone, we have about twenty-five minutes and then her dad arrives home. That spring my grandpa and parents buy me my second car, a silver Chevy Celebrity for under two thousand dollars. It runs like a dream and I totally love it.
Our parents trust us so they leave Tara and me alone together all the time, and though things go fairly slowly, things do progress. I had gotten a weight set for Christmas that I put in the back bedroom and we use that as an excuse to be upstairs together alone.
Our kissing and embracing gets more intense, and we gradually get to the point where we rub and grind through our clothes.
Tara babysits for her neighbors and relatives to make some money. Everybody trusts us so I am allowed to come over and help. She always offers me half the money but I never take it. I discover I love sitting kids. Two of them are her cousins, a brother by the name of Jeremy who is eleven and his sister Jasmine who is eight. Jeremy has a buzz cut, brown hair, and is very thin. Jasmine's hair is blond and just past shoulder length and she still has a little baby fat. We sit for them quite a bit and when we do Jeremy and I usually wrestle around a bit. One time I pick him up to fake a body slam and his hand goes right down the front of my pants. I don't know what to do at first, then I almost drop him grabbing his hand out of my pants. It is funny but embarrassing, and fortunately Tara didn't notice. Another time we are watching them, they start getting into wrestling around and Jeremy grabs his sister's pants and pulls them down. She is upset at first, but then starts trying to get his pants off but she can't. I hold onto him so she can, but she is just too weak and just gets them down in the back, exposing the top of his butt. Another name is added to my growing list of whose cheeks I've seen.
We stop over one night at one of the youth leaders to talk about a youth function. She has four kids, three boys and a girl in that order. I am sitting on the couch and I can see down the hall. At one point I happen to look down and to my surprise I see this bare ass staring back at me. It is Derek, the eleven year old and second oldest, a very thin boy with short light brown hair. As I said, kids of that generation are really getting a lot less inhibited. I know I would never have done anything like that. Another name is added in my notebook, with a code C.
A little later we sit for her one night while she and her husband go out. The oldest boy isn't there the night we sit for them. We are down in the basement playroom and Derek stands up and looks at me and says he has to pee, and then proceeds to pull his pants up and down flashing me. I don't know about his younger brother, who is around eight and has short, dark brown hair and is a little pudgy, or his sister who is around six and has long straight dark brown hair, but Derek is a definite exhibitionist, always mooning me or flashing me whenever we sit for them. Of course I don't do anything sexual with any of them, but I add an L and B behind Derek's name.
Tara and I go to the Christian rock festival, Ichthus, in April again. She has a softball game that weekend and her parents almost make her stay home, but after a lot of talking we finally convince them to let her go and we are inseparable. We are really excited to be back in Kentucky together, the place where we met and that started everything. We do absolutely everything together while we are down there. Unfortunately the organizers had gotten smart since our first festival and put us in different houses. She is in a house about five minutes before where mine is so I get to walk the last few minutes alone and just get to live in the glow of being with her. Kay is on the trip with us, and I love parading around with Tara in front of her, holding hands, sitting with my arm around her, walking together and doing everything together. It is wonderful. Kay always thought she was hot shit, a big pile of it, and one day takes her shirt off to reveal a string bikini top. After a few minutes of everyone gagging and complaining about it and teasing her as teenagers do, she put her top back on and sat all embarrassed. Nothing special happens while we are there. We do try to get our houses changed so we can be together, but for some reason, the youth leaders don't trust us. Why wouldn't you trust two teenagers, charged with hormones, in a house together?
Our one year anniversary from the time we started going out is coming up too, so we don't put too much emphasis on when we met. For our one year anniversary we hang out together floating around town making calf eyes at each other and then going to my house and making out.
Somehow Tara eventually finds out that I had a crush on Jessica at one time and starts ragging on me about it. Every time I am lost in thought she would say, "Oh you're thinking of Jessica." It starts getting to me, and eventually I start believing it. During the town festival in May, Tara and I start to walk to the festival, then decide to double back and go to my garage to make out. We have an old couch in there that I would sit and think on. Tara and I had started using it for makeouts. When we double back around to head home, we wind up right behind Jessica. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place you might say. Fortunately Tara doesn't know it is Jessica, and I am probably lucky she doesn't.
By this time we had gotten to grinding into each other in just our underwear. We were both often hot and really got into it sometimes. After Tara leaves I have a choice of suffering with a major case of blue balls, or jacking off, which really is no choice at all. So I lie back there on the couch, or up on my bed, or wherever she and I had gone at it, pull out my aching dick, and have a long, slow jerk session. It is so nice to have her smell still on me as I am getting off. I know it will just a matter of time before we will have sex.
That day comes over the summer between grade ten and eleven. One warm July day we are at her house in the afternoon and really starting to get into it so I decide to go for her underwear. She doesn't resist so I slide them off and start grinding into her again. She looks at me and then goes for my underwear too. So there we are, both naked and ready to go. I start by rubbing the length of my dick up and down her pussy. She is so wet it is making a sloshing sound as I do it. We continue staring into each others' eyes, both agreeing it is time by eye contact alone. I pull back a little and feel where it is supposed to go and start to push. She flinches in pain from it being her first time and after a minute I ask if she wants me to stop and she says yes. When we pull apart, we discover we are both covered in blood and we are scared shitless that we hurt something. Of course I know about breaking a girl's maidenhead, but I had no idea how much blood would be involved. She is very sore for a few days after and we don't do much sexually for a few weeks.
Tara and I finally go all the way the day before my seventeenth birthday later that month. What a birthday present! We are in my garage and sitting in the back of my Chevy Celebrity making out. There really aren't any makeout spots in this town so we have to do with what we have. We have our underwear around our ankles and are laying on the backseat. I slide down again and find the spot and push. It goes a lot easier this time and I have full penetration. I give her a few moments to get used to it and when she gives me the okay, I start to move. I wish I could say that I am really good or that it is really hot and heavy, but it isn't. It is something special and sweet and innocent. As innocent as two horny teens can be fucking in the back of a car. It is the first time for both of us, something done out of love, and something I will remember for the rest of my life. Neither one of us has an orgasm that time, but just doing it with her feels great.
That starts a circle of events that we keep living through every month after that first time. When we are at my house, we usually use a condom that I swipe from the rents, and which I dispose of just like I did back when I was ten, throwing it up on the shelf in my closet and smuggling it out later in a pop can. However if we are at her house, we don't have any access to them and I never think in advance to bring one with me. We are both too embarrassed to go to the store and buy them and they don't have the vending machines that you can get condoms out of in the gas stations around here. That is ridiculous. I have been getting cigarettes out of vending machines left and right ever since I was fourteen, but God forbid I get my hands on a condom that way. Score one for the religious right. So, at her house I ride bareback and use the withdrawal method, and at my house I sheath up, but we know even then condoms aren't foolproof. So we have sex, worry for the next few weeks that she might be pregnant, find out that she isn't, and then celebrate by having sex again, thus repeating the cycle of worrying. It is hard on the nerves, but it is a lot of fun.
There are some rather funny stories about us having sex. One day we are at my house alone and getting ready to have a little fun when her mom calls. Her mom says that her friend Judy, who is really religious at the time, had called and wants Tara to call her back ASAP. We are naked on the floor of my living room and Tara says she has to call Judy right away. I let her make the call and then start rubbing her legs and stomach, slowly roll onto her and start sliding in. Her face is priceless as she is trying to maintain her composure while talking to Judy. I go at it really slow, easing my dick in and out of her cunt and kissing her cheeks while she continues to talk to Judy. As the pressure begins to build up in my loins I speed up, and from the way she begins to work her hips I know she is getting it on too. Her breathing really starts to get labored and she finally tells Judy that she has to go and she would talk to her in school. When she hangs up, I roll off and put my clothes back on. She is pissed, but I have a good laugh. A few minutes later I chuck my clothes again, and we have one fantastic fuck there on the sofa in the living room.
Another time, her grandma invites Tara and me, and Tara's older brother and his fianc‚ to lunch at her house. Her grandma is so cool. She drinks beer with every meal and doesn't care if we drink or not. A few times she tries to push a beer on me and I have to tell her no because I am driving. She is great. Anyway, it is after church and I have brought clothes with me to change into and we are alone in Tara's house. I go out to get my bag from my car and see her brother getting ready to turn up the lane, but when he sees me he waves and motions toward Grandma's house. I know we will be alone for a while so I go in and go into Tara's room while she is getting dressed. She says her brother will be home and I explain what happened and help her take her clothes off. That is the only time I ever see her ass without clothes on. She is very self-conscious about her body and like I said before, she has a larger butt.
As I am taking her clothes off, I pull her shirt up in the back and look in the mirror. We go at it for a few minutes with me picturing that image of her butt in the mirror and then decide we better get going before they begin to wonder what is going on. You can imagine what I think about when I jack off later that day.
The most unusual experience I've had babysitting is with Tara's next door neighbor. There are three boys, Brad who is eleven, Bryan who is eight, and a baby no more than one year at the most. Brad really clings to me. I think he just enjoys the contact from an "adult." Brad and Bry look almost like twins, except the older is a lot thinner and the younger has really pudgy cheeks. They kind of look like the boy who plays Zach on Picket Fences, Adam Wylie. I always let Tara deal with the baby and I play with the other two. The first time I go over to help sit them, Brad comes to the door wearing just his underwear. His mom keeps telling him to put some clothes on but he doesn't. Well, we watch a movie, Pocahontas, and just goof around. We go into the playroom, which is the dinning room with toys in it, and Brad starts digging around. I have no idea what the hell these toys are and realize I am getting older and getting out of touch with that generation. As I am sitting on the floor, Brad suddenly turns around, pulls down his pants and moons me from about two feet away. Again, I am stunned.
They have to get a bath that night and Brad wants me in the bathroom with him to talk so I say what the hell and sit with them. They shower together to save time. They are almost getting ready to get out when, according to Brad (I don't know since I didn't see what happened), Bryan pushed him and he fell in the tub. He is crying and I help him out and help him towel off and he shows me a small mark on his hip that he says he got from the fall. I say he will be okay and give him a hug and tell him to get dried off. He wants me to come up and help him get his clothes ready and I follow him up the steps with him waving his ass at me every step. I get him his underwear off the dresser and he says he still hurts. I tell him to show me where and he points to his penis and asks if I will kiss it and make it feel better. I tell him that is inappropriate and that I would be downstairs when he is dressed. I think he is nervous that I would tell Tara because he is a little apprehensive around us the rest of the night, but I never did tell anyone. I am a very loyal person that way and would never tell on a kid for something like that. Actually, when I'm with kids I try to be the cool older brother or uncle and I think kids can tell because they are always so comfortable around me. He probably would have gotten his ass tanned if I had told. I of course add his name to my list.
All the times Tara and I have sex we never get caught, but we take so many stupid chances it isn't even funny. Several times when we are in my room, Mom is home. If she had looked up the steps, she would have seen my naked ass pumping a mile a minute. As it is, it is surprising she didn't hear our heavy breathing. We are a lot more careful at Tara's house because her dad would have skinned me alive if he'd ever caught us doing anything. The one time we are in her living room and her dad has a video camera set up through the TV for when the family came over. Tara suggests we set the camera up and I am thinking Hell Yeah! Turns out she wants to point it out the window so we can see if anyone was coming up the drive. We never do figure out how to set it up.
Another time, we are on her couch going at it really hot and heavy and I go a little too far and pull out just in time and shoot all over the couch. She doesn't know and I don't tell her about it and clean it up really quick with a tissue when she goes to the bathroom, then flip the cushion. For the next little while each time I am at her house and so much as glance at the sofa I think of that time and imaging Tara or her mom or dad sitting there on the cushion I'd baptized with my load and wonder if her mother ever noticed the stain.
We even do it once in the back of the van with my parents up front less than five feet from us. We are coming back from one of the May street festivals in Akron and sitting in the very back like we usually are and begin fooling around. One thing leads to another and before you know it we have each other's pants open and our hands inside each other's underwear. At one point Tara even has me all the way out. Of course we try not to make too much noise, if you can imagine that possible between two horny teenagers in love. How we didn't get caught still amazes me.
Valentines Day we go to the house of one of her friends, a girl who is the same age as Tara, sixteen, and who has a baby and a boyfriend living with her. They are Amish who, as we say, have jumped the fence, which means they've dropped their Amish ways and have adopted the ways of the outside world. Her parents own a little Italian restaurant and the girls cook us a nice lasagna dinner by candle light. A few weeks later I take Tara out for just us to celebrate. We go to dinner and a movie, the Starwars re-release. I get her the Footloose soundtrack because it has Almost Paradise on it which is our song. That day is another tender, magical moment where my heart feels so huge it is about to burst and I can't possibly feel any happier.
It is always fun watching Brad and Bry, be it at their house, Tara's house, or the church. I really enjoy spending time with them and Brad seems to really like being with me. The one time at church we are making candy to sell and they are there just getting in the way as boys that age will. I ask if anyone minds if I just take them up to the kids' area and play with them and keep them out of the adults' hair. Nobody objects and we go up and play with some toys and Brad reads a book to me. It is so cute listening to him sound each word out and then look to me for help when he needs it. God I want a kid. I love kids.
One of the last times I sit with them, their mother says they don't need a bath that night. Around eight, Brad says he wants to get a bath and he wants me to give it to him. Tara says no, and after the last time I am rather thankful she does. He doesn't get a bath that night but something else happens. Tara and I sit in the livingroom on the floor watching television with Bryan sleeping on the couch in the other room. Brad comes and sits on my lap, still in his underwear. He keeps wriggling around on my lap and rubbing his butt into my crotch. I am impressed by how covertly he is doing it. Tara is only a few feet away and she doesn't notice anything. I do though and pretty soon I know he will notice something too if I don't put a stop to it. I tell him to get off me and try to push him up but he will not go. He lies down on my legs with his head on my knees, his knees curled up under him, and pulls his underwear down in the back, just inches from my face. I try to keep order and pull his underwear back up but he keeps pulling them down. Finally Tara says to stop it and he does. I am still trying to figure out that kid. Was he just an exhibitionist, was he flirting with me, or was he hitting on me? What would have happened if Tara wasn't there? I know I would not have touched him. That just isn't something I would do, but still it is interesting to wonder what might have happened.
And so the days pass by, the two of us constantly together, attending church and school functions, babysitting, and humping like rabbits, and with each day Tara and I grow more and more in love. My school only has a homecoming in the fall whereas hers has one in the fall and again in the spring. We go to them and to all the dances at both schools and to the sweater hop that our YMCA puts on. I think that is one of the best pictures we ever have together. We both have on jeans, a black T-shirt and a blue flannel buttoned half way up. I look so prep it isn't even funny. One day we go to Cedar Point with the church by charter bus and I win a huge stuffed dog. On the way home we take the dog in with us and proceed to rub each other through our clothes with the dog blocking everybody's view. We go for drives in my Chevy Celebrity and we walk and we talk, about everything, about anything, and we make out wherever and whenever we can. Usually we are so rushed that it is just bing, bang, boom and get on with the rest of the day, but we are in love and each time is wonderful.
I and two of the guys from my section in the band, Kevin and Shawn, always joke about twenty minutes a week being my sex life. It becomes a regular thing at Monday practice that they ask if I got my twenty minutes that weekend. They can also always tell if Tara and I had gotten together during the week because of my attitude. I am usually a bit of a pain in the ass and keep myself wrapped up in band work and expect them to do likewise. If Tara and I have been together on the other hand, my mind is elsewhere and I just don't give a shit and float through the practice. That is how it is when you are a teenager and in love. Life cannot be any better.
Whoa
Almost paradise
We're knockin' on heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise
And in your arms salvation's not so far away
It's getting closer
Closer every day
It's almost paradise
We're knockin' on heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise
Whoa
Almost paradise
We're knockin' on heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise
Paradise
Paradise