Just a Story
WARNING:
This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between two male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.
Just A Story
Chapter 4
Mom and I arrived promptly at 6:30. John greeted us at the door and led us to the sitting room. I felt his attitude towards me was rather cold and that started me worrying. What-if Charlie told him I said I was gay? Suddenly, I felt like I wanted to leave, go back home, and hide. It was too late, we were in the sitting room, just Mom and me.
"What's up, Paul?" asked Mom.
"I want to go. I want to leave. John knows and he hates me."
"Nonsense! Besides, it's his problem, not yours!" she whispered.
"No. I'm leaving." I got up and walked out of the room. I was nearly to the front door when I heard Charlie.
"Paul?"
I just continued on my way, closing the door behind me. I was nearly to my car when he called out, "Paul! Please stop!"
I stopped and turned to face him. I could feel my bottom lip quivering and I knew I was losing it. "I gotta go. I don't belong here." I turned back to my car. I was crying so hard I couldn't even see it, but I took a couple of steps towards it, then I felt him place his hand so gently on my shoulder.
"Paul, don't leave me, we can talk this out; come on, tell me what's wrong." Charlie's voice was as soft and light as a morning's mist. I turned and he pulled me into a hug, our heads resting on each other's shoulder. I felt so good, so comfortable, and so safe. "Paul, I know what gay means. John explained to me. He doesn't approve of gay people, but I don't care. I'm not gay, as in homosexual, at least I don't think I am. Anyway, it's not important to me. You are what is important to me. You are my first and my best friend and like we said on the phone - 'Friends until the end!' and guess what - it's only the beginning. Right?"
"John hates me."
"John doesn't know you and besides he's my servant and if he doesn't change his attitude, mother will fire him!" Charlie pulled his head back and smiled at me. "You ready to go back in the house and have a delicious dinner?"
"I love you, Charlie."
"I love you too, Paul," he said as he hugged me real tight, then released me and we both walked back into the house.
We had a fantastic dinner and, despite John's cold attitude towards me, everyone seemed to enjoy the dinner. Charlie was beginning to act in a very condescending manner towards John. I saw the faintest smile appear on Rebecca's face when Charlie did this and she then looked at me, winked ever so slightly at me, and I realized she knew about me and was not in the slightest bit disapproving.
After dinner Mom and Rebecca adjourned to her study and Charlie and I headed to the elevator. I guess I gained some confidence from their reactions and the talk I had had with Uncle Ben had helped a lot. He had said that most bigots he'd met almost always used a religious aspect and he explained his own religious viewpoint, which made total sense to me. It made me feel good about myself, about being gay.
"I'd like to speak to John."
"Are you sure, he was so obviously rude to you at dinner. I think my mom will fire him."
"But he's not a bad person and I'd like to at least try to handle his attitude towards me."
I walked into the kitchen. If looks could kill, I would have been dead on the spot. I was in the 'Lion's Den'. To be honest I was scared half to death and my knees were shaking.
"You don't like me, do you?"
"Well, there's an understatement if I ever heard one," he snapped.
"You seemed to like me this morning, what changed?"
"Typical of your type, you deceived me. You're an abomination."
"How was I deceiving you?"
"You were acting like a normal boy, which you'll admit you're not!"
"Well, I haven't admitted anything, but let's get back to my deceiving you. How have I acted differently this evening? I thought I was acting quite normal."
"Oh yes!" You could see in his eye that he felt he could nail me. "Yes, crying and then hugging Charles. That's normal? I don't think so!"
"I see. So you never cry?"
"That's different, I'm normal!"
I couldn't help but laugh.
"I'm sorry, I think it's funny. When you cry it's normal, but when I cry it's not normal. Your logic astounds me!" I continued to laugh.
"Laugh all you want but you will rot in hell with the rest of your type!"
"By whose decree, yours?"
"God's"
"God. The 'For God so loved the world' God is who you are referring to?"
"The only God."
"I agree, the only God. A perfect God, you'd agree, unlike us humans he never makes mistakes, never creates evil. After all, God used to mean 'good'. So, God is really all-good. Right?
"Exactly! And you're not!"
"Yeah, true, but being human, I think we all fall into that category. None of us are perfect. Otherwise, I'd be God and I know that's not the case. Well, here's something for you to ponder. I don't hate you because I believe hating is not God-like. If God is perfect, which I believe he is, and if he is a loving God, which I believe he is, if he created all of us, which I believe he did, and if he never makes mistakes, which I believe is true; then he made me as I am, I am not a mistake, he loves me just as much as he loves you and any others of his creation - so why would God condemn something he created, which he loves, which is not a mistake when he is totally good?"
I turned and walked out. I was still shaking like a leaf but not half as much as when I had gone into the 'Lion's Den'.
"Bravo!" said Charlie. I hadn't seen him and walked right past him. I turned and weakly smiled at him and those damn tears started trickling down my face. He came over to me and again pulled me into a hug.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry. I-I just never stood up for myself before. I never had to because I never admitted what I am to myself or anybody else."
"I'm just glad that I can be here for you. I'm…I'm proud of you. I'm proud to be your friend…"
I pulled back and smiled at him and dried my eyes, but he didn't smile back.
"What?"
He sighed, "Nothing really. Let's go up."
We were looking at his stereo system when he said, "So, what do you want to do? What, what do most boys do at my age?"
"Do you have a Sega Genesis or Play Station?
"What's that?"
"Game machines."
"Oh, no, I don't have one." He seemed a little down about that.
"Do you have any games on your computer?"
"Solitaire, it's sort of boring."
"Why don't we just talk, get to know each other better."
"O-Okay. What do you want to talk about?"
"You. I want to know everything about you!"
He looked down and sighed. "I don't want to." He plopped down on his bed
"Why?"
"Because only my mother knows about me and I think if you knew I would lose you as a friend. My life was horrible and I did some really horrible things," he said just barely above a whisper while still looking down.
I walked over to him, took my hand and gently pushed up on his chin, tilting his head backwards until he was looking me in the eyes.
"Charlie, I love you and there is nothing that could make me not like you. As you said, 'Friends until the end', and this is just the beginning." I moved my hand away and we simply looked at each other for a moment.
He bowed his head and whispered, "I can't."
"Then I shall leave because friendship is trust and if you can't trust me, then we are at the end, not the beginning. I shall always love you. I shall always be willing to be your friend when that trust is there." I turned to walk away.
"Paul! Don't leave me! Please!" he cried.
I turned to face him. He was crying.
"Please don't leave me!"
He had such a pitiful look on his face I hurried back and sat down beside him and put my arm around his shoulders and he leaned into me, still crying.
"Charlie, I can't leave you…I can't bear to see you hurting. If you don't want to tell me anything, then it's okay. I won't leave. I love you and you are already my best friend and even if someday you cast me aside I will not forget you and I will never stop loving you."
"You are my best friend too and you are right, I have to trust you and I do." He sighed heavily and stared ahead into space. "Paul, I-I killed them, my friends, all of them. I-I slit their throats with a knife and they died, all of them."
Thanks for the emails. Again thanks to Ed, the editor. Sort of short, this chapter, but it has a murderous ending! Well, one of you guys told me he'd hit Paul alongside the head with a two by four...Is Charlie, sweet innocent Charlie, capable of such a deed?
I mean, maybe one of the reasons he was so isolated was he was in some mental institution! Stay tuned!
Sam