*** This story contains homosexual related material. If you're not supposed to read this because of laws or whatever, then leave... otherwise, enjoy :)***
Please send any and all comments to: [smit8255@fredonia.edu] (Please specify this story in your message thank you). So Far I have received many positive comments, and I thank all of you.
Well, on with the story...
Part 5:
Justin was driving as fast as he could, the road a blur from his tear filled eyes. It seemed no matter how much he wiped his eyes, they were just as bad two seconds later.
"Why, dear God, why?" he called out.
He continued to drive, not knowing where he was headed, he knew he just needed to get away. He felt like curling up into a little ball and dying.
JC had no clue where to look for Justin. He was confused, upset and scared.
'Justin kissed me. What did this all mean?' JC thought. Then something hit him, something Joey had said. 'He finally had the guts to COME OUT.' 'Come Out' JC thought over and over in his mind. 'That's what has been bothering Justin all this time.' JC shook his head in confusion.
"If only I had told him, he might have felt better about it, and none of this would have happened," JC spoke aloud.
Justin heard his cellular ringing so he pulled it out, and hit the power button. When the ringing died in mid-ring, he threw it carelessly into the back seat. His crying eventually turned to anger.
"Fuck the world. Fuck them all!" he screamed as he pressed harder on the gas pedal.
He was now on the expressway, heading south, at about 110 mph. Tears were still welling up inside of him.
"God help me," he let out as he started to cry harder.
"He ain't answering. He must have shut his phone off," Joey told Lance as they drove around.
"How 'bout JC?" Lance asked.
"He left his phone at the house, I got Chris," Joey sighed.
"Shit! Well, now we have to track them both down." Lance said.
"This past few days have been horrible," Joey nodded.
"Horrible? That's putting it nicely, it has been utterly fucked up!" Lance yelled with anger.
"Calm down! Don't take it out on me, it's not my fault. It's nobodies fault," Joey replied.
Lance shook his head, "I know, but I wish this would all get resolved and now."
"Me too," Joey agreed.
"Shit! I left my phone at home," JC screamed when he went to call Justin.
JC pulled into a gas station, to use the pay phone, hoping that he'd be able to get a hold of Justin. He wasn't pleased with the voice saying that the cellular customer had turned his phone off.
"Great! Why the hell does this have to happen to me?" JC yelled as he got back into his Jeep.
JC thought about all the places he'd might be going to.
"Universal Studios, maybe he went there?" he asked aloud.
He started the Jeep up, and peeled out of the station. He went as fast as traffic permitted.
"Hello?" Lynn called into the house when she entered.
"Hi Lynn," Chris called back.
"Where is everyone?" she asked as she looked around.
"Well, that's kind of a long story," Chris forced an uneasy laugh out.
"Chris? What's the matter? Where's Jonathan and Justin?" she began to get nervous.
"Jonathan is fine. He's upstairs sleeping," Chris reassured her.
"Justin?" she asked hesitantly.
"Justin," Chris sighed.
"Oh my God, Chris where is he? Is he all right?" she yelled.
"I'm sure he's fine. JC, Lance, and Joey are all out looking for him," Chris smiled.
"Looking for him, you mean you don't know where he is?" she angrily said.
"Well, he stormed off in anger and in tears. Before anyone could stop him, he was gone. His cell phone is turned off, and we're trying to find him," Chris pleaded.
"I know. I'm sorry, but it seems like Justin is so withdrawn lately, I'm scared for him," she sighed.
"What can we do but wait?" Chris asked.
"I'm calling the police. I can't have my baby out there. He's bound to get himself killed," she said uneasily.
"Do you really think we need to pull the police into this? I mean, it'll ruin his reputation."
"Better his reputation, then his life."
Lynn dialed the number and fed the police the information. She asked them to keep it 'low-key' and they agreed.
Two hours had gone by since Justin had left the house. The tears had finally run out, and he starred onward towards the road with pure exhaustion. He passed people whenever he had the chance, seeing as they couldn't keep up with his steady 90. A sign read 'Miami, 25 Mi.'
"I need a vacation, time to myself," Justin said aloud as he continued on.
"Hi Chris, Me and Joe are heading on back. JC or Justin are nowhere to be found. I don't know what we're gonna do now," Lance said.
"We've got the police on the look out for Justin. JC called a little bit ago, wondering if Justin was home. Lynn talked to him for awhile and got him to agree to come back. He stopped by Universal, and there was no sign of him or the car. Anyway, see you in a few," Chris replied as he hung up.
"Lance and Joe are on there way home," Chris told the emotionless woman sitting with a cold cup of coffee in her hand.
Chris sat next to Lynn, put his arm around her shoulder, and tried to comfort her. The phone rang again, and she came out of her trance as Chris picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi Chris, it's Paul. Is Lynn there?"
"Yes she is Mr. Harless. Hold on a sec," Chris put the phone on hold and set it on the receiver.
"Lynn? It's Paul," he said.
"How am I supposed to tell him about this?" she asked as a tear ran down her cheek.
"Would you rather me tell him that you're asleep, or something?"
"Ask if Steven is all right, and when they'll be back. Unless it's an absolute emergency, tell them I'll call tomorrow," she said as she wiped away the tear.
"Hi Paul. Lynn fell asleep, and I don't really want to wake her. Is everything all right with Steven, and you?"
"Oh yeah, we're fine. My mother adores him, though she wishes she could have gotten to see the other two as well. Well, we'll be home in about an hour, see you then. Bye."
"Ok, c-ya in an hour Paul."
Chris looked over at Lynn, who had her head buried in her arms. Chris could hear the soft whimpering Lynn made as she cried.
"How am I supposed to explain this to him?" she said softly.
"Lynn, we'll be here for you. Lance, Joe, even JC, we're all here worried about Justin. Paul will understand, he'll be here for you as well," Chris said as he hugged Lynn.
"But it's not me who needs all of you. It's Justin, my poor baby out there all alone. Driving away in tears, his phone turned off, not even the slightest clue as to where he would have gone. This is not like him at all, no matter what it is, he always gives us some hint. I mean, what if we never see him again? What if the last memory of my son, is that of a woman who forgot to ask him to pick up his brother? What will I do, Chris?" Lynn began to cry harder than Chris imagined.
"Lynn, you know as well as I do. Justin does not have it in him to kill himself. He has too much he loves and cares about. You, Jonathan, Steven, his music, the list goes on and on. Lynn, everything is fine, he just needed an outlet, and this is his way."
Lynn looked up at Chris as she calmed slightly.
"Chris, I hope your right. I hope with all my heart that you're right."
"I know I am," Chris smiled.
"Hello?" a voice called as JC wandered into the kitchen.
"Lynn! Are you all right?" JC asked as he fell to his knees beside her.
She sat up out of Chris's arms and looked over to him.
"Yes. I'm better. No luck huh?" she asked knowing the answer before he nodded.
"Sorry. I've looked everywhere. I don't know where he could have gone," JC said angrily as he stood up.
"Lynn, you gonna be ok alone, for a little bit?" Chris asked.
She nodded yes as she took in a deep breath.
Chris grabbed hold of JC's arm and dragged him upstairs, to JC's room. He then threw him onto the bed.
"All right. What the hell did you say to Justin to make him run off?"
"I didn't say anything. I was upset, and on the floor crying, when he came in. He held me and calmed me down. After a little while, I started to get ready to shower, and he didn't leave. I asked him if there was anything else, and he just kinda looked lost in his thoughts. The next thing I knew he was kissing me. Then he ran off, without saying a word, or letting me say anything. I was shocked, but I knew I had to run after him, I don't know," JC confessed.
"Well, at least things make a little more sense. Let's just hope we can find him."
"Chris, you know about him right? I mean is it true, he's gay right?"
"JC, it's not my place to tell, but for the benefit of the situation, yes he is."
"Thank you, but I think I need to lay down. Keep Lynn feeling better, help her."
"I'll take good care of her. You sleep, but you stay in this house, ok?"
"Yes sir," JC cracked a smile as Chris left.
JC laid back, and just let his mind run free, hoping and praying Justin was all right, and would be home so they could talk.
"Hey guys, you're back," Chris said as he entered the kitchen.
"Where's JC?" Joey asked.
"He is resting. It's been a hectic day for him. Plus, so you both know, it's not his fault. He didn't say a thing to him," Chris explained.
"Do you know what it was then?" Lance asked.
Chris looked over to Lynn and then back at the other two.
"Nope, but it wasn't JC."
They all paced the floors, and flipped through the channels waiting for a phone call from either the police or Justin.
"Perfect," Justin said as he pulled into a Days Inn.
"Hi, I'd like a room for the night."
"Ok, any preference?" the old woman asked.
"As far away from anybody as possible. I don't want to be disturbed at all tonight."
"No problem, just yourself then?"
"Yes."
"Ok, it will be $32.50 a night. There is an indoor swimming pool, and gym down the hall on your right here. You're room is up on the 5th floor, number 519. Enjoy your stay Mr. Timberlake."
"One more thing. Is there any place more secure I can park my car?"
"You can drive it over to that parking lot over there. There is security on the premises 24/7. It's an additional $5 per night," she smiled.
"Thank you very much. I'll be right back."
Justin left, and drove over to the lot. He parked, paid and walked back to the hotel.
"Thanks again ma'am," he smiled as he walked to the elevator.
He finally reached his room. He had nothing he needed to carry, so he threw the key on the dresser, and went to the bathroom. He started some hot water, in to the tub, and began to undress. He slipped into the water, and tried to erase today's events from his life.
Justin fell asleep in the tub for about an hour and a half. He woke up and the water was getting cold and his skin was all wrinkled. He stood, drained the water, dried off, and got ready for bed. He folded his clothes over a chair and crawled into the bed. He tossed and turned, unable to fall back asleep.
He reached over, and grabbed the tv remote. Instinctively he tuned to MTV. The video to Madonna's "Ray of Light" was playing. He watched, trying to keep his mind occupied off of JC and the stupid thing he had done. What didn't help was the fact that "God Must Have Spent..." started up next.
"Why oh lord, why did I have to do it!" Justin screamed at the top of his lungs.
He turned the tv off, threw the remote across the room, and rolled over as he buried his face and cried himself to sleep.
JC squealed his Jeep to a halt in front of the Holiday Inn. He ran into the lobby way.
"Hi, I'm here for Justin, Justin Timberlake. I need his room number and key," JC ordered.
"Yes, his mother called saying that he was tracked down the police. Are you his brother?" the man at the desk asked.
"Yes, I need the key now, please!"
"Ok, ok... Here you go. 5th floor, room 519."
"Thank you," JC called back as he ran up to the elevator doors.
He ran up to the door, and fumbled a bit with the key.
"Come on, come on!" he said impatiently.
"Finally," JC said as he walked slowly into the room.
It was very quiet and the only light in the room was supplied by the window. It was just starting to become light out, it now only being 4:15am.
He cautiously walked over to the sleeping Justin in the single bed.
"Justin, I'm so sorry. I never knew," JC said lightly as he started to choke up.
He took a deep breath and recomposed himself. He looked down at the peaceful face just lying there in silence. JC ran his fingers softly through his hair.
"Oh Justin. I am so sorry."
He sat down on the bed beside him and continued to run his fingers through the blonde curls. Justin slowly began to stir. He let out a sigh of pleasure from the soothing feeling he was getting from the finger's massaging his scalp. He smiled and slowly opened his eyes and focussed on the hovering JC.
"Ahhhhh..." Justin screamed as he cowered under the covers.
"Justin, please. Justin it's me, JC."
"JC? How the hell did you find me? Why are you here?" Justin said softly from under the covers as he began to cringe with fear and cry all over again.
"Justin, why are you hiding from me? Why are you crying?"
"Because you hate me, and you wish I were dead. Because I did something that I shouldn't have done. Because I have ruined 'NSYNC as a group, because I exist!"
"Justin will you look me straight in the eyes, please?"
Justin slowly pulled himself out from under the covers, but couldn't bring himself to look up.
"Go ahead, hit me if you want," Justin said slowly.
JC pulled Justin into a hug.
"I'm so sorry Justin, I am. I never meant to hurt you. You did nothing wrong, I was just shocked and taken in."
Justin just held onto JC's arm and cried.
"Justin, I just found out some wonderful news. I'm not alone anymore, I no longer need to face this world with a mask on anymore. I now have dear friends like Joey, Lance, Chris, and now you that I can share my true self with."
"What do you mean?" Justin sniffled.
"I mean, you're not the only one who has been keeping a secret. Justin I'm also gay. That has been bothering me recently, and I don't know why, but I couldn't bring myself to say it."
Justin stopped his crying, and wiped his eyes.
"You mean I didn't ruin our friendship with that stupid thing I did. You're telling me, you still like me, even after what I pulled."
"Justin didn't you hear a word I said? I'm gay. That is the secret of my life, that only you, and the other guys know."
Justin then realized fully what was being said.
"JC, I have a confession. The reason I did what I did, was because not only did I not like seeing you sad, but because I have come to terms with my own sexuality as well."
"I know," JC smiled.
"Well, JC. I can't, nevermind."
"Well what? Come on, what were you gonna say?" JC pleaded.
"Justin! JC! Open this door NOW!" Lynn screamed and pounded from the other side of the door.
"Get dressed, we need to get you home," JC told him.
JC slowly walked over to the door and looked back at Justin. Justin had gotten his pants and shirt on and was now working on his socks and shoes.
"Justin, dear, are you all right?" Lynn said as she ran at him.
"Yes mom, I'm fine," Justin said.
"You had me worried sick. Come on, let's get you home. Where's the car?" Lynn asked.
"I parked it in the lot across the street for safe keeping."
"Well, I'll be going with you. Come on, Justin."
Justin and his mom, paid for the hotel and headed across to get the car. Lance and Chris went home in Lance's car, while Joey joined JC.
"So did you tell him?"
"I was about to, when you guys showed up."
"Ohh, so how's he doing?"
"I think he's better. He's not so upset anymore."
"How about you? How you doing?"
"I'm fine, but Joe. I nearly lost him. I love him so much, what will I do, if he doesn't want this?"
"Want what?"
"Want me? I love him so much. I mean I know our friendship is like that of brothers. I just, love him even more. I want him as that soul other person in my life. I'm afraid he may not see it that way, and I must deal with it, I know. But still, what if?"
"JC, everything works out in the end. It always does, remember that. No matter what happens, God works in mysterious ways. Just remember that," Joey said.
JC smiled, "Thanks."
"No prob."
Two hours later they all arrived at Justin's home. Lance, Joe, and Chris headed off to bed.
"Justin, are you all right?" Paul asked.
"Yeah dad, I'm fine. Thanks."
"Justin, why won't you tell me why you ran off, or why you've been so upset recently?" Lynn pleaded.
"Because mom, I can't. Please, leave me alone about it. I love you, I really do. It's just that I can't tell you. Please except it."
"Justin, why don't you go to bed. Your mother needs her rest too. We'll all talk about this in the morning. Goodnight JC."
"Goodnight Paul, Lynn," JC said as he followed Justin up the stairs.
"Justin, if you need me, I'll be right across the hall. You come to me before anything, is that clear. I mean it Just," JC said sternly.
Justin smiled, "Of course. Told you, you watch over me 24/7."
"I have to, you're quite the handful," JC laughed.
"Oh yeah, what was it you were gonna say to me, before my mom started screaming?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow. I'm tired," JC yawned.
"Night JC"
"Night Curly."
JC slowly closed the door and leaned back against it.
"I love you Justin," came softly from JC's lips.
'Why couldn't I say it? Why?' JC thought. He slid under the covers and went to sleep.
*** Well, there it is...If you like it, send comments to [smit8255@fredonia.edu] please include the title "Just-JC" in the subject or message/comment.
If not, tell me why (using' the same address as above).
Otherwise:
TO BE CONTINUED
-AJ ***