Just Together

Disclaimer: This story is fiction. It makes no claims to the true personality or sexuality of anyone involved. You already know if you shouldn't be reading this.

------------------ Just Together by jm_stories ------------------

Chapter XXIII =-=-=-=-=-= Jonny =-=-=-=-=-=

*** 1/1/02

I had an idea for a story last night so I spent the day writing and sent it off to Gareth to proof. There wasn't really anything else to do. Adam was still visiting his grandparents until tomorrow and everyone else had family stuff.

=-=-=-=-=-= Jonny's Story =-=-=-=-=-=

David's Dreams by Jonny Cicero

Today was a happy day. Maybe it's the season. Sure, there's tension and anxiety, but it was different today. Anyway, no one was really angry or sad. Brandon was really horny. More than usual. I had a hard-on in every class I had with him. Suzie has a new love and was feeling gushy and giggly all through Geometry. Everyone else was about the same as usual.

"I know you're there," I called out to Jimmy, my little brother. He laughed and walked in the door.

"You're losing it. I've been there for five minutes," Jimmy said.

"Ten. I was writing."

"Anything interesting today?" He asked and grabbed my journal.

"Not really."

"Heh. Are you sure you didn't have a hard-on just 'cause you're hot for Brandon?" He teased.

"I know the difference between my own feelings and other people's."

"I know. I'm just teasing," he said and handed my journal back.

"What?" I asked. Feeling that he wanted to ask me to do something.

"What what?" He feigned innocence.

"What do you want to ask me to do?"

"You're good."

"And you know I can see through having my ass kissed."

"Yea, I know. Can you meet Katie? Read her? Let me know if she likes me or not?" He asked with a pleading look.

"You know I can..."

"Yea, I know you can only feel it if she feels strongly," he interrupted.

"And if you're in the room your feelings may overshadow hers. Speaking of, please spank your monkey before you go to bed. I don't want to be pulled into your dreams, again."

"Doesn't make a difference. You know that," Jimmy smirked. "Besides, that's totally cool. Like your own private porno or something."

"Straight porno," I grimaced teasingly. "Besides, I do like to have my own feelings and dreams sometimes."

"Too bad for you. You're just gonna have to get better at blocking. You used to be."

"Sex is a strong emotion. It's hard enough to block out when I'm awake. When I'm asleep I can't do it."

"Then just enjoy it. You changed your sheets this morning, so I know you did," he nudged.

"Just because you did. It wasn't by choice."

"Uh huh. You want to try projecting again? We haven't tried in a while."

"I guess. What do you want me to try to make you feel?"

"Surprise me. If I don't know then I can't make anything up. We'll know if it worked or not."

"Okay."

We sat cross-legged across from each other and I held his hands. With physical touch I can feel subtle emotions and the way they change from second to second. When my empathic curse started -- at puberty, of course -- it was overwhelming to touch anyone. The first couple times it happened I even blacked-out. I've since learned how to block it out when I need to. I didn't want to block it out now and it felt like I was hanging on to a live electric wire, and also like standing in the sun on a hot day.

I felt my brother's love for me, his concern -- probably that this will make me go insane, his ever-present 15 year old horniness, his worries. Everything. If I could read minds it could, maybe, be interesting, but I could only feel the feelings without knowing the thoughts that caused them.

"You're shaking. Is it too much?" Jimmy asked softly.

"No. I'm fine. Try to relax," I said and closed my eyes. I've been thinking about how to do this since we first tried it a year ago. The problem, as I see it, is being able to concentrate on my own feelings while being overwhelmed with his. The last time we tried this, about four months ago, I blacked-out. It's gotten stronger since then, so I'm not sure what to expect. I think I've got the answer, though. Every time we've tried it before I would try to hold back his emotions while pushing mine towards him. It didn't work, obviously. It might work if he was empathic as well, but he's not. This time I'd take another route. I let all of his emotions pour into me, added my own, and fed them back to him. I'm not quite sure how it will work, but I think it should be something like feedback. Being near bed time, and with Brandon having me up all day, my main emotion was lust. I went with that and fed it back to Jimmy with his own emotions. Maybe he was just getting hornier naturally, but I could feel his lust getting stronger. It was exactly like a feedback loop. He'd send to me, I'd add mine and send it back to him, only to get it back and add more. It was intense. My erection was aching and I don't think I've been hornier in my life. He was gripping my hands tightly and we were both shaking when I orgasmed without even touching myself. That wave of pleasure got added to the loop and Jimmy flopped back like he'd been electrocuted, breaking the contact. I opened my eyes to see him lying on his back with his back arched and his eyes rolled back as he continued to shake like he was having a seizure.

"Oh shit. Jimmy. Jimmy. Are you okay?" I said, panicked. He relaxed suddenly and passed out. Shit. Okay. He's still breathing, so I'll give him five minutes before I call an ambulance. To distract myself until then I got up to change my underwear and clean myself up. That was pretty amazing: to have a spontaneous orgasm. After five minutes I ventured to touch his hand to see what I could feel. Intense pleasure, satisfaction, joy and exhaustion. He opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"Hey, bro. I think it worked. Let me guess. You were horny?" He smiled sleepily.

"Yea. Are you okay?"

"Are you kidding? I've never felt better. That was fuckin' awesome. I know I've never cum so hard in my life, and I wasn't even doing anything. It's kinda sick to think that the best orgasm I've ever had was while holding my brother's hands," he smirked.

"Yea, well next time it's gonna cost you," I teased.

"Oh hell yeah. We could make a fortune with this. Finally your weirdness is worth something more than making you crazy."

"I'm not going to be a whore."

"Of course not. A whore has sex for money. You'll just think about sex for money. It's not even illegal and you can't get any disease from it. We'll be rich and can get out of this hell hole," Jimmy ranted on.

"No."

"No? Why the hell not? Use your gift."

"To give people spontaneous orgasms? People already think I'm a freak and they don't even know anything about my 'gift', as you call it."

"No one thinks you're a freak. They just think you're weird and shy."

"It feels the same."

"Well now they'll think of you as a sex god. You might even get laid."

"I don't want to be someone's fuck toy."

"Tell it to someone who doesn't know otherwise," he smirked.

"Fuck you. Besides, what if I'm not feeling horny? They may get a burst of anger or exhaustion or fear or whatever. What if the experience was too much for them and they died? Or too much for me?"

"You're right, but remember that the next time Mom gets depressed and you start feeling it, too."

"Stop trying to guilt trip me."

"I'm not. I'm just saying that you could make money by doing that. I mean, it's gotta be for something. You're not that way for no reason."

"Maybe I am. Maybe it's just an anomaly, like being gay."

"No way. You'd hear about it happening all the time, then."

"No you wouldn't. You're the only one who knows about me and I'm not about to tell anyone else. I'd probably get locked up and studied."

"Whatever. This isn't 'X-Files'."

"And it's also not some fantasy story where I'm going to herald a new era of peace and love," I shot back.

"Of course not. Just lots of good sex," he teased.

"Yea, yea. Jonny Cicero, the guy who made Cicero the spontaneous orgasm capital of the world," I joked.

"Or of Chicago, at least. I could get guys to pay for this. Really. I'm sure I could get a few guys in my class to pay...$20 each?...maybe more."

"And then they'd know about me."

"So what? You can't hate a guy to gives you an orgasm like that."

"No."

"Come on," he begged. "How about we try it with just one or two guys first? I trust Eriq, and I think Alfonzo would be into it and would keep his mouth shut."

"Why is this so important to you?"

"It's not. It's money. Wouldn't you like to have some cash? Wouldn't you like to go out for lunch some days instead of always having that gross shit in the cafeteria just because it's free? I'm not talking about a million dollars or something. Just spending money."

"I guess we could try it..."

"Cool. Thanks, man," Jimmy said excitedly and gave me a hug.

"But let's just start with Eriq and see how it goes with him. Okay?"

"No prob. How about tomorrow after school?"

"Yea, okay."

That night I had strange dreams. In one of them I was standing on an Aztec pyramid and people were lined up to see me as far as I could see. Jimmy was there and would collect the money, sliding it into a slot in the pyramid wall like a giant piggy bank. I'd touch the person and he'd quiver and then throw himself off the other side, only to get up, unharmed, and get back in line. Totally weird.

At school the next day I felt totally on edge. It was all coming from me. I felt really anxious about something, but I didn't know what. I was so preoccupied that I barely felt anyone else. It didn't get any better when I got home 'cause Mom was pissed off about something and left early for her night job, slamming the door behind her.

The anxiety all day had me exhausted and I laid down to take a nap. I only had one dream that I remember, and I think the only reason I remembered it was because it was so unusual. I've never had a dream about someone I know but don't know. My dreams always have people I know, or complete strangers. Never anyone like a famous singer or actor or something. During my nap I did. David Gallagher, the hot guy on that preachy "7th Heaven" show on the WB. He's really the only reason I watch the show. Well, in my dream I saw him walking along the lakefront and staring out at the water. It didn't take any empathic abilities to know he was depressed or sad about something. I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me, gave me a sad smile as tears ran down his face, and hugged me tightly. I don't know what would have happened next because...

"Yo! Jonny! Get your ass up!" Jimmy yelled as he shook me.

I pushed him off me. "Asshole. You have the worst timing of anyone," I grumbled.

"Having a good dream?" He hinted.

"I don't know. You woke me up before I could find out."

"Well you can turn that energy into making Eriq blow his wad."

"Yea, right," Eriq, who was standing behind Jimmy, snorted.

"Dude. I'm tellin' ya. You've never felt anything like it," Jimmy countered.

"And if I don't then you pay me $20."

"That's the deal. Jonny will make you have a spontaneous orgasm just by holding your hands."

"Maaaaan. You're so full of shit. You know that, don't you?"

"And you can kiss my ass when you're proven wrong."

Eriq just gave him a 'whatever' look. "So you're, like, a real life X-Men or something. Right?" He said to me with a smirk.

"No. Nothing that cool," I shrugged.

"Well your brain damaged brother says you can read minds."

"I did not," Jimmy protested.

"I can't read minds. I just feel what other people feel. I know what a person is really feeling instead of what they want me to think they're feeling. Like you, for instance. You're feeling confident, probably thinking you're gonna make $20. There's also a little bit of worry, probably that I might just be able to do what Jimmy said. Hmm. A little excitement, too. And now anxiety, probably 'cause I'm hitting everything dead on," I smiled.

"I thought you said you couldn't read minds."

"I can't. I only feel what you're feeling and try to deduce what you're thinking about that's making you feel that way. It's not that difficult when you know what a person's real feelings are. See? It's not even a cool ability. It's usually an annoyance, actually."

"Except the spontaneous orgasm thing," Jimmy added. "That's totally cool."

"Yea, okay, whatever. Let's get this over with. Um, what do I do?" Eriq said.

"Just sit across from me on the bed and let me hold your hands and relax. Maybe think about sex," I said and moved into position so he could sit across from me.

"Think about sex? That won't be too hard," Eriq smirked as he sat down. "Um, this okay?"

"Yea. Just relax," I smiled and then took his hands in mine. The first thing I got was apprehension and a little bit of fear and worry. Deeper was anger, almost rage. It startled me because Eriq always seemed to let shit slide by instead of getting worked up. I guess he'd just gotten really good at suppressing it.

"What?" Eriq asked.

"Nothing. You've just got a lot more anger than I thought you would," I said.

"All black men have it," Eriq shrugged.

I nodded and closed my eyes again. I felt his mood soften, like he enjoyed just sitting quietly holding hands, but not like he was gay and attracted to me.

"Now think about someone you like," I said softly. Almost immediately I felt love, quickly followed by lust. I thought about David Gallagher and my "lust" shot up. I fed that back to Eriq and the same feedback loop I'd experienced with Jimmy started. Eriq's lust felt slightly different than Jimmy's. Everyone's does, but I usually don't feel it this intensely. The shaking started and soon my orgasm, to the same effect as last night. As soon as I fed it back to Eriq he flopped back and had the same seizure like orgasm Jimmy had.

"Oh shit! I think you fried his brain or something," Jimmy said, panicked.

"Relax. You did the same thing last night," I said and got up to clean myself up. If I do this much more I'm gonna have to wear a condom or something instead of always spunking in my pants.

"Serious?"

"Yea. I thought you'd never come out of it," I said, now very tired.

"Weird. I don't remember it."

"Of course not. You were blacked-out. Can you make dinner tonight? Doing that makes me really tired."

"Oh Sweet Jesus. Take me now," Eriq moaned and then started laughing. "Shit, man. That was wicked. How do you do that?"

"I don't know. I just do."

"You don't know? How can you not know? What does it feel like? How do know what people are feeling?"

"I don't know how I do it because it just happens. Same as breathing. You just do and you really don't have much control over it. As for how it feels... Have you ever been in a room and felt someone walk in, even though you didn't hear or see them? Where it's like you just felt a change in the atmosphere of the room?"

"Um, yea, I guess. A little."

"It's kinda like that, but much stronger. It's like people are light bulbs giving off that energy. Different emotions give off different light or something."

"So you see a light around people, like an aura or something?"

"No. It's not visible. It just feels like that kind of energy. Like when you can feel the heat from a light bulb, kinda. It's hard to explain. The person's emotional energy affects mine and I feel the same thing."

"No wonder you're always so moody," Eriq teased.

"It really confused me until I figured out how to separate my feelings from those coming from people around me."

"How'd you do that?"

I shrugged. "Just did. It was either that or be a hermit, or go insane."

David Gallagher appeared in my dreams again that night. They weren't anything coherent. It was more like glimpses of memories, but memories I know aren't there. We'd be sitting on a sofa snuggled up and watching a movie, and then in bed making love, and then out dancing in a club. Even simple stupid things like having breakfast together. Nothing was a full scene, just bits and pieces.

Jimmy gave me an annoyed look in the morning, but didn't say anything. He's upset about something. I had the same off-kilter feeling all day. I'm just gonna have to tell Jimmy I can't do it anymore.

Mom wasn't home at all that evening, and Jimmy was still in a bad mood.

"What are you pissed about?" I asked him as we were eating dinner.

"You did something when you did that thing to me," he snapped.

"I know. I made you orgasm."

"No. You did something else. You're invading my dreams now. All I dreamed about all night long was you and that guy you drool over from that show."

"Now you know how I feel when I get pulled into your dreams. What did you see? What were we doing?"

"Just boring shit like everyday stuff. God, you've got boring dreams. You'd think you'd at least fuck him or something. So not only do I have to endure your dreams, I have to be bored to death by them," he ranted.

"Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. I don't know why you'd experience my dreams. I mean, I don't even see things like that when I feel someone. I just feel what they're feeling. I don't see what they're thinking, except in dreams, but even then it's not really clear. Do you think maybe you're telepathic now?"

"No. You did something."

"I don't know what I did. Did Eriq say anything?"

"I asked him. He said he never remembers his dreams."

All week long everything felt weird. Off balance. Surreal. Every night I dreamed about David and it seemed like the dream was real life and real life was a dream. I was looking forward to sleeping all weekend, to stay in that good world where David was my lover, but it wasn't meant to be. Mom was in one of her moods and throwing a temper tantrum that even a three year old would be in awe of.

I needed to get out. Mom continued to scream at me as I walked out. I can't be around her when she gets like this. It's too strong for me to block out. It wasn't too cold out, despite the snow piles everywhere, so I decided to walk down to the lakefront. Mom should be cooled down by the time I get back, or at least out at the bar. Because it was such a nice day for January there were lots of people outside doing stuff. I avoided them if I could, sometimes walking a couple blocks out of my way to do so. It took me over an hour to get there and it was getting colder as the sun disappeared behind the ever-present winter gloom. I searched my pockets for money to take the L back, but I knew there was nothing there. I sat down on a park bench to look out over the lake and rest before heading back. Off to my left, near the shore, was a guy who was practically exploding with sadness and despair. Even from the thirty feet or so away he was, I could feel it. I'm certain he would have thrown himself in if we'd been on a bridge.

I couldn't look away from him. It was like his sadness was a black hole. I got up to move away from him, maybe go back home, but I couldn't do it. I relented and slowly walked up to him. This close I had to work really hard not to be consumed by his despair. I slowly reached out and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay, mister?" I asked, knowing he wasn't.

He turned his head to look at me and I was shocked at who it was. A flash of dŽjˆ vu from a dream. David Gallagher gave me a sad look, and then jumped back like he'd seen a ghost.

"It's you," he said softly, his voice full of surprise.

"What's me?" I asked, confused.

"Is your name Jonny?" He asked like he was hopeful and afraid of the answer.

"Yea," I said hesitantly.

"This can not be happening. It just can't."

"What can't?"

"Okay. This is going to sound totally crazy, but I know you. I've dreamed about you."

"You've dreamed about me?" I asked.

"Yea. For, like, at least a year."

"A year?"

"At least."

"How? I mean, what was I doing? How could you have dreamed about me for a year? I've only dreamed about you for a week," I asked.

"You've dreamed about me?" He asked, excited.

"All week. You've been there every time I close my eyes."

"That's so cool," he laughed. "You are gay, aren't you?" He asked before he got too happy.

"Yea."

"And you don't have a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Oh man. Wow. This just can't be happening. I mean, I know it is, but it shouldn't be. It's just too cool to be happening for real," David ranted to himself.

"What are you talking about?"

"We've been dreaming about each other before we even knew each other. Don't you get it? It's, like, fate, or something. Destiny. Was Tuesday the first time you dreamed about me?"

"Um, yea, I think."

"I got into town on Tuesday," he declared like it was the answer to everything.

"Maybe I just picked up on your feelings. I'm, um, pretty perceptive. Did I even look like me in your dreams?"

"How would I know your name? Huh? And I already know you're all empathic."

"Jonny isn't that uncommon of a name," I countered. I could feel he was being honest and I know I was being honest, but I wasn't ready to accept predestination.

"Okay. Well how about this? I know that if you trace the moles on your left thigh that you can make the Big Dipper. And I know that, um... You've got a scar on your right foot from stepping on some broken glass when you were a little kid. And..."

"Okay. Okay. I'm convinced you've seen me. Now about you. You have freckles on your shoulders that you hate, and you get really loud when we make love, and then get embarrassed about being so loud," I smiled.

"See? We do know each other. You're why I came to Chicago."

"If you knew all that why didn't you just come to my house?"

"Because I don't know where you live or your last name -- or even if you were real. I just know what we've experienced in the dreams. I took a job here on the chance that I might actually find you. That you might actually be real. After no sign of you after a week I was starting to think I was just losing it. Who takes a two-month theatre job in Chicago in the winter just so he might find a guy from his dreams? Certainly not anyone sane," he laughed.

"Not if you spend any time outside. You should be inside where it's warm."

"So should you. Do you live close?"

"No. In Cicero. Which, ironically, is also my last name," I answered.

"You drive?"

"No. I walked. My mom is in one of her moods so I had to get out."

"I don't remember you ever mentioning your mom."

"We just met."

"No, I know. I meant in my dreams."

"Did I mention anyone else?"

"Um...your brother, but I can't remember his name."

"Jimmy."

"Yea, that's it."

"Yea, I know," I smirked. "What were you doing out in the cold?"

"Being depressed," he said with a sad smile. "Not anymore, though," he added with a happy grin. "So do you want to go somewhere warm? Get something hot to drink?"

"I don't have any..."

"Don't worry about it. I'm buying," he interrupted.

"Okay. Where do you want to go?"

"You live here. You choose."

"I don't know anything around here. I just walk to the lake and back."

"Okay. Let's catch a cab back to my hotel. There are tons of restaurants around it."

"You took a cab here?"

"No, I walked, but it's colder now and it'll take too long for us to walk back," he said and pulled out his cell phone and called a cab, telling them to pick us up at Soldier Field, which was just a few hundred yards away.

"They said it'd only be about ten minutes, so we'd better get moving," he said after hung up and started walking.

I fell into step beside him. There was now hope exploding from him as much as the despair had been before. And love. It felt really weird because it was directed at me. After a few steps he slid his hand into my coat pocket to hold my hand, giving me a quick smile as he did. With physical contact I expected to be bombarded with his emotions, but I wasn't. It was stronger than not touching him, but not so overwhelming that I needed to block it out. It felt good, actually. Very good.

We walked in silence, just absorbing the idea of each other, and got to the curb just as the cab was pulling up. We got it and he told the driver where to drop us off before leaning back and taking my hand in his again. He held my hand tightly and kept looking at me.

"What?" I asked, slightly uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

"Sorry," he smiled. "I just keep thinking that if I look away you'll disappear."

"You're holding my hand. I think you'd notice."

"I know. I still don't want it to happen."

"I'm not going anywhere. Do you really believe in predestination or fate?"

"I didn't, but you can't deny this. You've been in my dreams for over a year and I've been in yours."

"Yea, but you're famous, so that could explain why you were in my dreams."

"Have you dreamed about any other famous people?"

"No."

He just gave me a look like that was my answer.

"I don't think it's fate. I don't want to believe in fate. It's gotta be something else. Maybe we were together in a past life or something," I tried.

"Does it matter? We're together now."

"I guess not. I just don't want it to be fate."

"Then call it whatever you want," he smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. It really surprised me and I jumped a little.

"Um...what's wrong?" He asked, confused and hurt that I'd jumped.

"It just surprised me."

"Why? I've kissed you thousands of times."

"Can we talk about it later?" I said and motioned to the cabby.

"Okay," he sighed softly and looked out the window.

The rest of the short ride was spent in silence. We arrived at his hotel, one of those long-term business person type places, and I waited for him to pay the driver.

"Is the hotel restaurant okay? They've got booths where we can talk in private," David asked.

"Yea."

We went in and got a booth right away. It was not quite five, so the dinner crowd hadn't started and the place was mostly empty.

"Order what you want. I'm paying," David said as he looked at his menu.

The waitress soon took our orders and brought our drinks -- both hot coffee -- right away.

"So?" David asked once we were alone.

"So it's just weird. We just met and you're acting like we've been together forever."

"We have."

"In your dreams. I'm coming in in the middle. I just started having the dreams this week. You're a year ahead of me and seem to know me much better than I know you." His expression went flat and I could feel fear from him. "I'm not saying I don't want to try, but just understand that you've been in the relationship longer than I have, and that's just weird. How do I even deal with that? I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not. I really loved the person in my dreams the past week, but it was a dream. This is real."

A soft smile crossed his face. "You are the person from my dreams. Always being careful and planning and being logical."

"Necessity, I guess," I shrugged.

"Why's that?"

"What? Something you don't already know about me?" I teased.

He stuck his tongue out at me. "There are a lot of things I don't know about you. I don't think I know anything about your past or your family -- except your brother."

"That's probably best."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Just 'cause there's not much to tell," I said.

"Well, tell what there is to tell," he prodded.

"Um... I don't remember my father. He ran off just before my younger brother was born. We lived with my grandma, but she died when I was twelve. My mom... Well, she works a lot and drinks a lot and isn't very happy most of the time. I've been the one who makes sure the bills get paid and there's something to eat and taking care of Jimmy since Grandma died," I explained casually. I didn't want his pity and I didn't want it to sound like I was whining.

"Why doesn't your mom do it?"

"Because if we had to rely on her to remember things like that we'd be out on the street. She gives me her pay checks and I make sure the basics get paid. Stop feeling sorry for me."

"I'm not."

"Yea, you are. I can tell. Remember?"

"Sorry. I'm not pitying you. I just feel bad that you had to grow up like that. I want you to be happy, and it doesn't seem like you've been happy much."

"I'll be happy as soon as Jimmy graduates from high school and we can both get the hell out of there," I said.

"When will that be? When do you graduate?"

"I graduate in May. Another two years for Jimmy."

"You won't leave without him, will you?"

"No. If I ever leave I'm taking him with me."

"What about college?"

"If I can. Who knows what next year will be like. I guess it'll depend on what scholarships I can get. When do you graduate? How old are you?"

"Eighteen. I just graduated in December."

"Why in December?"

"I had all the necessary credits. It also gave me time to come here to find you before I go to college in the fall," David answered.

"Have you already applied?"

"Yea. UCLA. You should apply there, too."

"I might," I said as our food arrived.

"What time do you have to be home?" David asked me after we'd eaten.

"Whenever."

"Wanna come up to my room? We can talk some more. Maybe watch a movie."

"Yea, okay. I need to call home to tell Jimmy I'll be late."

"Follow me," he said and we walked over to the elevator and took it up to the seventh floor.

"Isn't it kinda cheesy that you'd be staying on the seventh floor?" I smiled.

"Yea, but that's where they put me. I didn't ask for this floor," David shrugged and pulled out his key to unlock the door. "This is it."

He flipped on a light and I walked in behind him. It was like an apartment, but the kitchen was just a step above a kitchenette. The living room area was pretty big and I could see the single bedroom through the open door.

"Nice," I said.

"It's okay. You want something to drink? I can make some coffee," David asked.

"Coffee is good. Is it alright if I use the phone?"

"Help yourself," he said and pointed to where it was at.

I tried calling home, but no one was there.

"You write in real life, right?" David asked.

"Yea, I guess," I shrugged.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't published anything. I just do it for myself. It's like an escape -- especially since I started feeling what other people are feeling. It's weird having all the feelings without having all the experiences that caused them. I need to write. I need to make up stories that go along with the feelings," I explained.

"That's so cool," David smiled softly. "What am I feeling now?"

"You don't know?" I teased.

"I know. Do you?"

"Yea. You're feeling happy and content."

"Is that all?"

"That's what's on top. You're also feeling love and horny as hell," I smiled.

"Is it too early in our real relationship for me to kiss you?" David asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as he leaned in to me.

"You already have. In the taxi."

"How about a real kiss this time?"

I answered him by leaning forward until our noses were almost touching. We both licked our lips at the same time and then moved closer, turning our heads just enough for our noses to gently slide next to each other. And then the brief heat of his breath before our lips brushed. It was so soft that were it not for the surge of feelings, I wouldn't have felt it. We held there for a few seconds. Our lips barely touching as our breath mingled. I moved first and pressed our lips together with a definite contact. A beautiful pressure. An intensity of heat, taste, smell, touch and something more that I can't even describe. David opened his mouth more and I felt his tongue on my lips just before mine joined his. The softness gave way to passion. Our arms clutched at each other as we frantically tried to get closer, to become one. It was only a minute or two, I think, when I felt his emotions surge, and then his body went stiff as he came in his pants. Oh god, it felt incredible. I came in mine just from feeling his pleasure.

And then it ended.

He pulled back. He was embarrassed.

"I...I'm sorry..." he started.

"Don't worry about it. Let's see if we can make it happen again," I said and pulled him back to me.

He pulled out of my grip. "Sorry. I've gotta clean up. I can't stand the feeling. I'll be back in a minute," he said and ran to his bedroom.

I got up and followed him, pulling my clothes off as quickly as I could. He was still trying to kick off his pants when I caught up to him and grabbed him from behind.

"Why don't we take a shower to clean up," I said with my lips against his ear.

He giggled and brushed his ear. "That tickles."

"Shower?"

"Okay."

I kissed his neck, pausing only long enough to pull his shirt off. As soon as his shirt was off he turned to face me and we kissed again, this time with our bare chests pressed together. Our hands roamed each other's back and pushed at the other's boxers to push them down. We were both still erect, so they got caught up and we had to pull back and pull down our own. As soon as they dropped to the floor we snapped together again like powerful magnets. Now we were touching completely. Intense heat from both of us. My erection was almost painful and pressed to the hot stickiness of his crotch and lined up with his that probably felt the same way. I felt another surge starting in him and pulled back quickly.

"Almost happened again," David panted.

"I know. Me, too. Let's take a shower," I said and grabbed his hand to pull him to the bathroom. As soon as I did the surge that I thought I'd held off came back with a vengeance and he was in the throws of ecstasy again. I quickly pulled us together to fully experience it, as well as save having to clean up too much off the carpet. His first shot, almost straight up, went across my chest just before I closed the gap and held him close. My passion surged and I came while he was still shooting. We held each other tight and thrust against each other's hot, wet, stickiness. His grip loosened and his body went slack. He'd passed out. Shit.

I carried/dragged him to the bed and gently laid him down. Even passed out and cum smeared, he was beautiful. There was a smile on his face. I went to get a wet washcloth and cleaned us up. He was still out. I called home to see if Jimmy was home yet. No one answered. David was still out. I pulled back the covers on the bed and got in with him, pulling the covers over us. I curled up next to him and held him. I'll be here when he wakes.

I slept more soundly that night than I can remember. My dreams were my dreams, and dreams of David. I woke to feelings of intense love, as well as his hot body snuggled back against mine. He was awake and holding my arms around him, gently brushing his fingers along the hair on my arm.

"Morning," I said softly and kissed the back of his neck.

Another surge of love from him and he rolled over.

"Morning," he smiled and leaned forward for a quick kiss.

"Ew. Morning breath," I smiled after we'd parted.

"Yea. What happened last night? I remember we were going to take a shower, and then we came again, and then..."

"You passed out," I said.

"I've never passed out before."

"How do you know?" I teased.

"No one has ever told me I passed out."

"When I first started feeling things it happened to me a lot. I think it's because you get so overwhelmed with feelings. It happened to my brother and his friend when I tried projecting, but they weren't out as long as you."

"What do you mean? Projecting?"

"I mean trying to make them feel what I want. Instead of me feeling what they feel, I try to project my feelings to them. Just an experiment."

"I hope that doesn't happen all the time. I want us to actually be able to make love without me passing out before we get started," David smiled.

"Me, too. What time do you have to be at your dress rehearsal? You said you have one today, right?"

"Yea. I gotta be there by noon. Plenty of time," he said and ran his hand along my thigh.

"As much as I hate to say it, we can't," I said and stopped his hand.

"Why not? We've got plenty of time."

"What if you pass out again? You might not wake up in time."

"I'm willing to take the chance."

"I'm not. I don't want you to get in trouble or get fired because of me."

"I guess you're right," David sighed. "But tonight... Are you free tonight?"

"No. I charge on Sunday nights," I joked.

He gave me a stupid look and stuck out his tongue.

"I've got homework, but other than that I'm free."

"Then get it done while I'm in rehearsal."

"What about during the week?"

"Hmm. I've got performances every night. I'll be gone 'till at least midnight," he thought aloud and wasn't very happy about the thought.

"I'd invite you to stay with me, but we wouldn't be able to do anything then."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I share a room with my brother, not to mention that my Mom may be home."

"Does she know about you? I mean, does she know you're gay?"

"I don't think so. It doesn't matter. She wouldn't care as long as it doesn't affect her."

"Don't you get along with your mom?"

I shrugged. "She's just there. She has her own life. Sorry if it makes you sad, but I don't feel anything for her. Not love or hate. She just is. Nothing more."

"Okay," David said after a few seconds of thought. "Why don't you stay here?"

"Because it's a long way from my school."

"Just take the train."

"It costs money. Money that I don't have, and money that I don't want you to pay."

"I think I can afford three dollars a day -- especially if it meant you'd be able to stay with me. Otherwise we won't see each other except on weekends."

"I just don't want you to have to spend..."

"Don't worry about it," David interrupted. "It's my money and I'll do with it what I want. I'm doing pretty damn well for an 18 year old. What good is having money if you can't do with it what you want?"

"Okay, just don't feel like you have to take care of me or something."

"Too late, and I want you to feel like you have to take care of me, too. I've got money. You don't. No big deal. What's mine and yours is ours."

"Why sir, was that a proposal?" I joked.

"Nah. Just the truth."

"Okay. Wanna take that shower now? No hanky-panky, though," I warned.

"I can be good. The question is: can you?"

"Only one way to find out," I said and pushed him out of bed before heading to the bathroom. He yelled and complained as he untangled himself from the blankets and ran to follow me, catching me in a hug from behind.

"You're beautiful. You know that?" He said softly into my ear as he squeezed me tight.

"Thanks. So are you."

"Where the hell have you been?" Jimmy yelled as I walked in the door.

"With David," I said and gestured to David, who walked in behind me.

"That's..."

"Yea, I know," I interrupted. "I tried to call last night. Where were you?"

"Just hangin' with Eriq. I got back around midnight."

"Have you seen Mom?"

"No. She didn't come back last night."

"Good for you. She was in a mood when I left."

"Yea, I know. I was still here. So what happened? How'd you meet him?" Jimmy asked and gestured to David.

"Fate," David answered and gave me a teasing look.

"I found him by the lakefront. He dragged me off to his hotel room, and then passed out before he even had his way with me," I said and gave David a 'so there' look.

"You did 'the thing' to him?"

"Not on purpose. If I did, I didn't know I was doing it."

"Pretty intense, isn't it?" Jimmy asked David.

"Very. I passed out."

"Everyone does."

"He was out all night," I added.

"No shit?" Jimmy asked.

"We came, like, twice in ten minutes just from kissing," I explained.

"Dumb ass. You're supposed to wait for the sex, not just make him cum in his pants," Jimmy teased.

"I couldn't help it. It'll take some practice and experimenting to figure out how to hold it back."

"Experimenting and practice. Sounds good to me," David smiled.

"So are you guys, like, together now? A couple?" Jimmy asked.

David looked to me.

"Yea. For now," I said.

"What do you mean, 'for now'?" David asked.

"You go back to LA in six weeks."

"So? You graduate in May. You said you'd at least consider UCLA."

"And I also said I'm not going to leave Jimmy here alone with Mom."

"I'd be cool with moving to LA," Jimmy said.

"We'll see what happens," I said.

"He's always like that," Jimmy explained to David. "Always being careful."

"And it's because of that you have a place to live and food to eat," I countered.

"I know. I'm just giving you shit. So what are you doing back here instead of fucking each other's brains out in your hotel room?"

"I've got a dress rehearsal in an hour," David answered.

"And I've got homework," I added. "I'm gonna be staying with David while he's in town, if that's okay. I mean, if you're gonna be okay without me here at night? I'll still stop by every day after school."

"Yea, I'll be okay."

"Good answer," David smiled. "So show me your room."

"That's real subtle," Jimmy groaned and rolled his eyes.

"You wish," I shot back. "He's got to leave, so there won't be anything for you to watch."

"We've got time."

"No. It'll take you a half-hour to get back to the hotel and then however long it takes to get to the theater. I'll be waiting in your room for you when you get back," I said. "Besides, the taxi is still waiting."

"Take my key. I'll get another one at the front desk," David said and handed me the card.

I took the card from him and gave him a quick kiss. "Now go so you aren't late."

"Later, beautiful. Later, Jimmy," David said and ran out the door.

"So how did you really meet him? Did you do some sort of projection to get him to come here?" Jimmy asked once we were alone.

"We met just like I told you. I didn't project anything on him. I didn't even dream about him until this past week. He told me he's dreamed about me for at least a year."

"A year?"

"That's what he said. He knew my name. Kinda remembered yours. It's freaky."

"Is he freaky?"

"I don't think so. I don't know him that well yet."

"But you're gonna go stay with him in his hotel room?"

"How else am I going to get to know him? I have school and he has the play he's in. I can feel that he loves me and is being honest. He's not hiding anything that I can tell."

"Did you take the check book?" I asked Jimmy. I needed to pay this month's bills and couldn't find the check book where I usually keep it.

"No. It should be where you left it."

"I know, but it's not, and everything else in the drawer has been shuffled. Did you see Mom digging around for it?"

"I don't know. I wasn't here when she left. I'd be surprised if she even knew where it was at."

"That was probably why she was digging through the drawers. Fuck," I sighed.

"So what? There's nothing in there for her to spend."

"Yea, there is. There was almost a thousand dollars."

"Where'd we get a thousand dollars?"

"I've been saving, and I haven't paid this month's bills yet. I've got a two-hundred dollar buffer, or had. Damn it!" I yelled and kicked the dresser drawer that I use for my financial drawer.

"Mom hasn't done this before, has she?"

"No. Not since Grandma was still alive."

"Do you think she split?"

"I don't know," I said and went to check her room to see if she'd taken any of her stuff. I threw open her door and was greeted to a sight of destruction. Most of her clothes were gone. Everything else in the room was in shattered piles.

"Fuck," I sighed as I sat down on her bed. A few more months. If she'd just held out for a few more months I could get a full-time job after graduation and then she could do whatever the fuck she wanted. Why now?

"She split, didn't she?" Jimmy asked as he walked in.

"It seems like it."

"So what are we going to do?"

"I don't know yet."

"You could ask your new boyfriend to help."

"I said I don't know yet," I snapped.

"Sorry," he said softly and went to watch TV.

I could ask David for help. I know he would without a second thought, but it just feels weird. We just met -- at least in real life. I remembered I still had the ATM card. I can only pull out $400 a day, but that would be enough to last a little while. Even if she's spent some of it, the bank wouldn't have cleared the checks over the weekend. I'd better do it now.

"Come on. Let's go," I said to Jimmy as I grabbed my coat.

"Where?"

"To an ATM to pull out as much cash as we can."

"Good thinking. I'd love to see Mom's face when she tries to write a check and it's refused."

"I can only pull half of it tonight. I'll have to try to get the rest tomorrow before anything she's written clears," I said.

"She's gonna be pissed."

"Good. If she comes back and bitches about it I'll have her arrested for abandonment."

"But they'd put us in foster care."

"I know, but it'd only be for a few months. I turn 18 in a couple weeks and graduate soon. I'll get a job and get you out. Hopefully it won't come to that."

"We won't lose the apartment, will we? I mean, Grandma already had it paid for, right?"

"We still have the building fee and taxes, but we won't lose it anytime soon. We could probably sell it before we lost it. I think. Grandma told me she was going to leave the place in my name, but I wouldn't get it until I was 18 because of legal crap. I don't know if it happened, though. I never saw the paperwork."

Jimmy and I headed out and went to the ATM. I got $400 out and checked the balance -- $508 left.

"So are you still going to David's hotel tonight?" Jimmy asked as we got home.

"Just until he gets back. Then we're coming back here. If Mom's not here then we can stay here, and I don't want you here alone."

"I'm not eight years old anymore. I can take care of myself," Jimmy protested.

"It's not open for discussion. We need to watch out for each other now more than ever. Don't let anyone know that Mom split."

"I'm not stupid."

"Would you stop being so damn defensive?" I snapped.

"Would you stop being so damn bossy?" Jimmy shot back.

"I'm not trying to be bossy. I'm trying to take care of us. Same as always. You getting defensive on me isn't helpful."

"Then stop trying to do everything yourself. I can get a part-time job, too. Between the two of us we can get by."

"If you can find one. You know how bad the job market it right now. No one is hiring, and the few who are are paying shit."

"Getting paid shit is better than getting paid nothing."

"Yea, but it's not very smart. Just don't worry about it for now. We'll deal with it when the time comes."

"Hey. You're here," David said happily as he walked into his hotel room. "And you brought your brother," he added with a confused look as he noticed Jimmy.

"Change of plans," I said.

"What?" He asked softly and I felt the fear well up in him.

I walked over to him and gave him a long kiss to calm his fears. "We're staying at my place instead of here. You, too," I said as we parted. Once again I noticed that contact with David didn't give me that overwhelmed feeling. It was calming.

"What about your mom?"

"She split."

"But she's still gonna be back, right? What if she catches us?"

"No. You don't understand. She split. She left. Gone. Not coming back. Packed her clothes and left."

"Serious? When did that happen?"

"Probably last night before Jimmy got home."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet," I said.

"You can move in with me."

"Told ya," Jimmy stated.

"Maybe. I want to try to finish the school year here."

"I'm only here until early April. You won't graduate until May. I can't stay any longer. I'll have to go back to work on '7th Heaven'."

"So that's it, then?" I asked.

"No, that's not it. I'm just worried about what you'll do until you move in with me. Is that okay?" David snapped.

"I didn't say I would move in with you."

"You didn't say you wouldn't, either."

"Would you two just stop the drama. You're a couple of drama queens. Let's just go home and you can argue about it later," Jimmy snapped.

"Since when did you start calling people drama queens?" I asked, intrigued that he'd called me, or anyone, that for the first time.

"Since you started acting like one. Let's go if we're going," he said and stormed out.

"Seems like he takes after his big brother on that," David commented.

"You, as an actor, should not be calling anyone a drama queen," I stated and started to leave as well.

"Can you at least wait for me to pack a bag?" David called out.

"Make it quick," I sighed, and then gave him a smile to know I wasn't really pissed off.

"So where am I sleeping?" David asked as we got home.

"With me, I hope," I said.

"You guys aren't going to fuck while I'm in the room," Jimmy stated.

"No. You can have Mom's room."

"Why do I have to sleep in her room? You and David can sleep in there."

"You're just sleeping. Would you want to fuck in Mom's bed?" I asked.

"Hell no, but I don't want to sleep in her bed, either."

"Then take your mattress in there, or sleep on the sofa."

"I'll sleep on the sofa for now. I'll clean all her crap out of there before I move in. Do you think we could get any money for the furniture?" Jimmy asked.

"Maybe. We'll talk about it later," I said and pulled David to our room.

"Alone at last," David smiled after he shut the door and wrapped his arms around me.

"Yea. Do you want to take a shower before bed?"

"And other things," he said softly and kissed me.

"It's after 2AM," I said as we parted.

"So?"

"So I have to be up at six to go to school."

"So no love tonight?" He asked with a pout.

"No sex, but we can shower together and then snuggle," I offered.

"Okay," he said and pulled my shirt over my head. As soon as it was off he pulled off his. We each dropped our own pants and went to the bathroom in our boxers. I got the water ready and we got in.

"Did I mention you're beautiful?" David smiled as he looked me up and down.

"Maybe once or twice. You're pretty nice, yourself," I smiled back.

"Can I wash you first?"

"Okay."

David picked up the soap and worked up a lather and I stepped out from under the water, facing him. He slowly reached out and ran a soapy hand down the side of my neck to my pect, and then back to my underarms before getting more lather.

"That feels really good, but we need to be a little quicker," I said apologetically.

"Spoil my fun," he muttered and used both hands to wash me rather quickly. He slowed down at my erection and teased me, pretending to wash it.

"If you're gonna do it, then do it. Stop playing," I said softly and shivered at the sensations.

"If you insist. How about this?" He said and pressed his erection flat on top of mine. With soapy hands he slowly stroked us both at the same time.

"Give me your hands," he said after a minute. He rubbed some soap on my hands and guided them back to our erections so we were kinda holding hands and jacking each other at the same time. It was electric.

"I hope you don't pass out and fall in the tub," I gasped as the feelings got more intense.

"You'll be here to catch me."

"I can only catch you like this," I said and pulled our hands away before pulling him to me so we were humping at each other and my arms were around him.

"Oh, yea. That's good, too," David panted and started kissing and licking my neck and shoulders. I did the same to him and my explosion started a few seconds later. When it did he jerked and went stiff as his came, and then he went slack in my arms, again. I didn't know how the hell I was going to get him out of the shower.

"I gotta piss," Jimmy said as walked into the bathroom.

"Great timing. I need your help," I called out.

"Don't scare me, bro," Jimmy joked.

"I'm serious. He passed out again."

Jimmy started laughing.

"Fuck you. It's not funny. Help me out, here."

"You can finish yourself off," Jimmy smirked as he pulled back the curtain. "What do you need me to do?"

"Hold him up so I can clean us up and then help me get him to bed."

"I'll get wet."

"Then take your clothes off."

"I love you, bro, but I really don't want to be holding your boyfriend like that."

"He's passed out. He'll never know. Now get in and help me before I drop him."

"Just put him down," Jimmy said as he started pulling off his clothes.

"If I put him down it'll be harder to pick him up out of the tub."

"You aren't going to do this every night, are you?" He asked as he climbed into the shower.

"No. Not now that I know what will happen. Here. Hold him under his arms," I said and managed to pass David back to Jimmy without dropping him.

"Damn. He's heavy," Jimmy complained and shifted to get a better grip, locking his hands in front across David's chest.

"I know. I'll be quick," I said and quickly soaped the cum off David's front, and then mine. As soon as that was done I shut off the water and reached for David. "Let me have him back and then you can step out of the tub and take him."

We did our maneuvering and finally managed to haul David, dried off, back to my bed.

"Shit. You guys are going to have to take separate showers if you can't keep your hands to yourselves," Jimmy sighed as we set David down on the bed.

"Yea, I know. It sucks, and not in the way I want it to," I sighed. How was I going to be able to make love with him without making him pass out?

"You'll figure it out. Night," Jimmy said and left.

I set my alarm, turned off the light, and climbed into bed behind David, spooning him in my arms. Love was just radiating from him and snuggling with him felt better than a big fluffy quilt on a cold day. I was almost asleep when disappointment popped up and I heard him sigh.

"Shit," David whispered.

"Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out somehow," I said softly and kissed the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry," he practically whimpered.

"Don't be. Go to sleep." I tightened my grip for a few seconds and then relaxed, sleep soon overtaking me.

*** To be continued...?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

=-=-=-= Jonny & Gareth Chat =-=-=-=

iamjam: so?

gareth85: i liked it. why'd you stop where you did?

iamjam: it was getting long and the next part will be long.

gareth85: you mean you ran out of steam ;-P

iamjam: that, too

gareth85: depressed?

iamjam: no. why?

gareth85: it's just kinda depressing. different than usual for you.

iamjam: i just wanted something different. that was my idea...

iamjam: to have the lead character capable and incapable of love, both physical and emotional

gareth85: ur getting deep.

iamjam: i know. maybe i've been reading too much kerouac. i'm almost through the books jonah got me for my birthday.

gareth85: any one i would like?

iamjam: any of them, probably. he fucks a lot of girls, though.

gareth85: ugh!

iamjam: yea, but he doesn't go into detailed sex scenes. most of his friends are gay.

gareth85: is his stuff depressing?

iamjam: yes and no.

gareth85: thanks for being clear ;-)

iamjam: sorry. best answer. you'd have to read it to understand. good and bad happens. sadness and joy. he searches for something he never finds.

gareth85: you're waxing poetic.

iamjam: to u a box of cereal is poetic ;-P

gareth85: snap-crackle-wank

iamjam: :-D

gareth85: u talk 2 pasha about what happened?

iamjam: no. fuck him.

gareth85: you did.

iamjam: i don't mean the good way. i don't want to talk to him.

gareth85: why do you confront some things head on and hide from others?

iamjam: i don't

gareth85: :-|..........

iamjam: it won't solve anything. he's a liar and a cheat. you can't have a heart 2 heart conversation with someone like that.

gareth85: what about ur dad?

iamjam: it won't solve anything, either. he doesn't want to hear from me.

gareth85: but those confrontations may make u feel better.

iamjam: no. just get me worked up over nothing. change of subject.

gareth85: ok. i'm done pushing.

iamjam: how's thomas?

gareth85: on holiday in lyon. i miss him.

iamjam: u just miss the sex ;-)

gareth85: that, too!!

iamjam: how was your ny?

gareth85: dreadful. dad's work had a party. duuullllll.... yours?

iamjam: just boring. stayed home and watched tv.

gareth85: no parties?

iamjam: no. i think everyone had a boring ny -- except jonah and michael.

gareth85: what did they do?

iamjam: went to orlando to party with the nsync guys.

gareth85: why didn't he take u?

iamjam: 'cause i'm not there. scott, brian and randy went with them.

gareth85: who's brian and randy?

iamjam: brian is scott's friend from home. i've mentioned him before.

gareth85: oh yea. forgot. and randy?

iamjam: i don't know. i haven't met him yet.

gareth85: he famous?

iamjam: i think so 'cause he was flying in to nyc, but i don't know. jonah just said he was a friend.

gareth85: gotta go. thomas is on.

iamjam: ok. later.

gareth85: ciao.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

*** [ Mon, Jan 7, 2002 ]

"Mr. Mathias," Mr. Archer, the principal, called as I was stuffing my coat into my locker.

"You're busted," Amy Matthews teased as she slammed her locker shut and headed off to homeroom.

"Mr. Mathias," he repeated as he got close to me. He was guiding some really cute guy.

"Yes, sir."

"Mr. Mathias. How was your break?"

"It was good," I said while trying to figure out why he was talking to me.

"Good. Good. Well. I'd like you to meet my son Riley," he said and indicated the cute guy standing next to him. "He's starting here today. I'd appreciate it if you could show him around. Make sure that he finds his classes."

"Yea, okay," I said, but I was thinking that Riley was really cute, and must be embarrassed as hell that his dad is basically asking me to be his friend.

"Good. Good. Well. Have a good day, son. You'd better get moving so you aren't late for homeroom," Mr. Archer smiled -- well, what passes for a smile for him -- and walked off.

"Hey. I'm Jonny," I smiled and reached out to shake Riley's hand.

"Riley, as my father already informed you," Riley grimaced as he shook my hand.

"Feeling like a freak on display?"

"Something like that."

"Let me see your schedule," I said. He handed it over and I looked over his classes. "We've got the first three classes together and the last one. Your homeroom is where your first class is, so it should be easy to fine."

"Yea, I figured that much out myself. My father, apparently, doesn't think I can read."

"Someone's having a bad day," I teased. "So why are you starting this school in the middle of the year?"

"I just moved here. I was living with my Mom in Madison."

"You don't seem very happy about it. A big fight?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I just needed a change. Do you always just ask personal questions of strangers?"

"Sure. Why not? If I want to know something, I ask. If you want to tell me, you will. If you don't, you won't. No big deal," I shrugged.

"Yea, okay. Sorry. I'm just having a bad day. No, make that a bad year. So, uh, I'll see you in first period," he said and started walking the wrong way.

"Hey, Riley!"

"Yea?"

"It's the other direction," I smiled.

"Uh, thanks," he said and turned around.

I watched him walk down the hall. He had a nice ass. Muscular, like he played soccer or something. Maybe he'll be gay, I mused and headed off to homeroom.

"So what did Mr. Archer want?" Amy asked me as I sat down.

"That was his son with him. Basically, he asked me to be his friend and make sure he finds his classes," I smiled.

"That was his son?! I didn't even know he had a son, and a damn hot one, even," Amy gushed. "What's his name?"

"Riley."

"Set me up? You're his friend now, kinda."

"Girlfriend, he's playing for my team," I smirked.

"You're kidding," she said, shocked.

"Yea. I have no idea. He's probably straight."

"Bitch," Amy teased and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Ew. Put that thing away. I don't do girls."

"Uh huh. That's not what I heard."

"One time being ravaged does not a straight boy make," I countered.

"No, but you sure got them jealous."

"Envious."

"Whatever. So are you going to help me with Riley?"

"I don't even know him yet. What happened to Tom? You guys break up?"

"Yea. I dumped him. He's hot, but he's dumb. I hated having to explain everything to him."

"Okay. You'd want to date Mr. Archer's kid, though? I mean, Mr. Archer," I said and made a face and shuddered.

"Yea, I guess he is a bit Al Gore, but that doesn't mean Riley is."

"How about I get to know him first? That way I'm not setting you up with an asshole."

"Fair enough."

"So?" Chris prodded. We were at Wilder CafŽ after school. I invited Riley to join us to get to know him. He seemed to be having a bad day all day at school.

"It's totally over," I said.

"Why? I thought you were head over heels."

"Or heels over head," Brandon added.

"You wish," I smirked at Brandon. "He already had a boyfriend."

"And he found out when he walked in on them having sex," Adam blurted out.

"You're a fag?" Riley snapped.

"Yep. You're a phobe?" I shot back.

"You admit it?!"

"Yea, of course. Why not? I am," I shrugged.

"A little insecure with your manhood, there, Riley," Chris teased.

"Feeling a little threatened by that attraction," Brandon added.

"Are you guys fags, too?" Riley asked. He was getting a bit worked up.

"I'm the lone fag here. It's like being the token black guy in a movie," I said.

"And you guys are all okay with him being a fag?" Riley questioned like he couldn't believe it.

"I believe the politically correct term is 'fudge packer'," Chris smiled.

"I thought it was 'cock sucker'," Bill said.

"I'm pretty sure it's 'butt bandit'," Adam added.

"Whatever happened to 'skin flutist'?" Brandon said.

"You guys are so 1990's. The correct term is 'die fag'. It's from the German 'die fagot', meaning 'those guys who flame'," I smirked.

Riley just stared at us. He looked like he wanted to run. He looked scared.

"We're all comfortable with Jonny being gay. It's not an issue. If you want to make it one...there's the door," Chris said and gestured towards the door. We all watched him to see what he would do. He seemed to be sweating bullets. Not really a good way to make friends on your first day of school.

"Um...sorry. It was just really different at the school I was at before," Riley stuttered.

"Well, you'd better be careful here. The last guy who messed with Jonny ended up dead," Bill threatened casually.

"That is so not fuckin' funny, Bill," I snapped. "I didn't have anything to do with that."

"Yea, okay," Chris dismissed. "So his boyfriend walked in on you having sex with Pasha? You actually had sex with a guy?" He said to me.

"Yea. Can you believe it?" I joked while giving Bill the finger. "It was much better than with that girl. So I was fucking him and his boyfriend walked right into the room. He flipped and started yelling and screaming and throwing shit. I was, like, 'who is this guy?' Oh man, it was a shitty day," I sighed.

"Well, yea, if you were packing his fudge," Bill smirked.

Everyone groaned.

"Don't be gross," I said. "Anyway. It's over. I'm single again."

"Hey, what do you know? Brandon is now, too," Chris laughed.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" I cooed with a goofy grin to Brandon.

"If you get a sex change," Brandon cooed back.

"Oh well. Suit yourself," I said and made a jacking-off motion.

"Don't you dare," Brandon warned.

He must have thought I was talking about the hand-job we shared. "If you don't have a girlfriend, and you won't be my boyfriend, you're gonna have to spend some quality time with your hand," I clarified with a grin.

"Or he could just pay..." Bill started, but was stopped when Brandon slugged him.

"Anyway..." Chris said loudly.

"Yea, anyway. Your brother throwing any more parties? If Heather comes back maybe you guys can dance with her," I said.

"Doin' the horizontal bop," Adam snickered.

"If she was horny enough, you could probably convince her to do all of you," I said.

"I don't do sloppy seconds," Brandon said.

"You won't have to worry about that. Bill and Adam would be so excited they'd shoot just putting on the condom," Chris laughed.

"Fuck you," Bill smiled.

"Yea, and what about you? You'd be happy to get sloppy seconds just as long as you can be where Brandon was?" Adam shot back.

"I'm not the one with the Brandon fetish," Chris smiled and shot me a look. I shot him the bird.

"What about you, Riley?" Brandon asked.

"Um, I don't want anyone's sloppy seconds, and I have no idea who or what you're talking about," Riley said.

"Jonny 'I'll screw anything' Mathias," Bill smirked.

"Except you," I shot back.

"He got ravaged by a horny college girl at my last party," Chris explained.

"So you're bi?" Riley asked me.

"No way! She practically raped me, but, you know, it's hard to pull away when you're backed up against the door and someone's sucking your dick," I said.

"Not to mention riding you like a horse," Chris added. "I'm still going to therapy to get that image out of my mind, by the way."

"Of Heather or of me?" I smiled.

"All the above."

"Do you play soccer, Riley?" Bill asked.

"Yea. Why?"

"Are you going to be on the team? Practice starts again tomorrow."

"I don't know. I'll have to talk to my dad. Will the coach let me on after you've started?"

"Yea. We're desperate for players," Chris said and looked at Brandon.

"No, man. I told you. I suck at soccer. I'll stay with swimming," Brandon said.

"He prefers to be in the company of men in Speedos. Come to think of it, so do I. What the hell am I doing on the soccer team?" I joked.

"'Cause you can't swim?" Bill offered.

"Yea, I can."

"Doggie paddle doesn't count. That's all you could do in gym last year."

"Yea, well I can swim now. I did, like, twenty laps almost every day when I was in New York."

"Uh huh. Is this before or after you fucked Justin Timberlake? How'd you find the time?" Bill continued.

"You fucked Justin Timberlake?!" Riley practically yelled and everyone near us looked at us.

"No, I didn't fuck him," I said loudly and then leaned in to Riley. "Do you think you could keep it down a little? Even if I did fuck him -- which I didn't -- do you think I'd want it broadcast?"

"But you know him?"

"Yea."

"I can vouch for that," Adam said.

"Jonny knows all the rich and famous," Chris teased.

"Not even close," I said and rolled my eyes.

"Who else do you know?" Riley asked.

"Doesn't matter," I dismissed. I didn't trust Riley yet and didn't want him being my friend because I knew so-and-so. "So what happened with your mystery girl, Brandon?"

"She was fucking around on me so I broke up with her."

"If you needed some tips on keeping her satisfied..." Chris teased.

"Then I'd probably ask Jonny," Brandon completed with a smirk.

"Just call me the Casanova of Chicago," I laughed.

"More like the King of the One Night Stand," Bill said.

"Better than being King of the All Night Hand," I shot back and everyone laughed.

*** [ Tuesday ]

I swear to dog that Coach is trying to kill us. I don't think I'll even be able to walk tomorrow. I painfully climbed the stairs. Jay had his stereo turned up loud. I threw open the door and stumbled in. Matt was with him and they were both in front of the computer with their little hard-ons sticking out. They jumped and quickly put them away as I collapsed on my bed.

"We weren't doing anything," Jay defended after he turned down the stereo.

"I don't care," I groaned. I don't want to move, but I'd better stretch again if I want to be able to walk tomorrow.

"Um, I'm gonna go now," Matt said and made a quick exit.

"What's wrong with you?" Jay asked me.

"I'm gonna die."

"Good. Then I'd get my room back. Why are you dying now?"

"Soccer practice. Coach trying to kill us," I mumbled and then forced myself to sit up and reached for my toes to stretch.

"You're out of shape," Jay stated.

"Everyone else is, too."

"Not me."

I gave him an annoyed look. "If you're gonna jack-off in front of your computer you shouldn't have the music up so loud and lock the door. Loud music will just make someone walk in to tell you to turn it down."

"I wasn't jacking-off," he protested.

"My mistake," I said and rolled my eyes.

"I wasn't. We were just, you know, comparing size. We weren't doing gay stuff."

"Come here," I said and patted the bed beside me as I turned around to sit normally.

"What?" Jay asked suspiciously.

"Just come here," I sighed.

He cautiously came over and sat down beside me.

"This is gonna be my first big brother talk. Okay?" I said.

"About what?"

"About jacking-off. Everyone does it. Not just gay guys."

"Duh. Joey used to do it all the time. I think he still does."

"Right. And messing around with a guy when you're young doesn't make you gay. It's called experimenting. Being gay is more than who you have sex with. Lots of straight guys have probably done something with a guy that they wouldn't want anyone to know about. It doesn't mean they're secretly gay. I've had sex with a girl and it doesn't make me straight. Understand what I'm saying?"

"You've had sex with a girl?" Jay exclaimed. "Who? When?"

"Shut up," I shushed and put my had over his mouth. "Don't tell anyone about that. You don't know anything. Got it?"

I released him after he nodded.

"So when did you have sex with a girl?" Jay whispered.

"Doesn't matter. It happened. Anyway, it doesn't make me straight. Don't worry about if something is gay or straight. Just let it be what it is. It takes too much energy to worry about it. Trust me. I know."

"You've never worried about it. Joey said you were something like the most confident gay kid he's ever known."

"How many has he known? And when did he say that?"

"I don't know. He said it a long time ago. Before you went to stay with Jonah. He said something about you had to be to come out in your family."

"Yea, probably. He just doesn't know what I didn't tell. I'm telling you that I worried about it. A lot. But in the end, I realized it was stupid. I read other kids' stories and I didn't want that to be me. Why worry about something you can't change?"

"I'm not worried. I know I'm straight," Jay said.

"Then don't think you have to make up an excuse when I catch you and Matt 'comparing'. I really don't care if you're gay or straight, only that you're honest with yourself about it."

"I think Dad is starting to rub off on you," he groaned.

"There are worse things, I guess. Your dad can be weird and all, but he's a good dad."

"I know. He's better than your dad."

"I guess," I sighed. "My dad used to not be so bad before I came out. We did lots of things together. I wish he wasn't such a 'phobe, but that's his problem."

"Do you think he misses you?"

"I think he misses the way we used to be, but everything changed when I came out."

"You miss him, though, don't you?"

"I guess," I shrugged. "Sometimes. The way we used to be. Doesn't matter. He made his choice."

I checked my email before bed. Only one response to the story, for a grand total of ten. No one reads the Celebrity section. I should have put a boy-band person in it. Anyway "dav1d7g@yahoo.com" loved the story and wanted to chat sometime. With an email name like that it's no wonder he loved it. He's also probably an old man pretending to be a kid.

-=-=-=-=-=- Jonah -=-=-=-=-=-=-

*** [ Thursday 1/3/02 ]

"Aww. Aren't they just too cute," I smiled at the sight of Randy and Lance sound asleep on the sofa, curled in each other's arms.

"So cute that the human alarm clock didn't wake us up on time," Michael said and slapped Lance on the butt.

Lance flinched and rolled back from Randy. "What was that for?" He groaned.

"It's eleven," Michael stated.

"So?"

"Gale and Hal are going to be here in an hour. Remember that you said you'd wake everyone up by nine?"

"Huh?"

"You're late," I stated, simply.

"Shit. Sorry. I'll be ready on time," Lance mumbled and rolled off the sofa, heading for the bathroom. I don't think he was actually awake.

"Is he sleepwalking?" Michael asked me.

"That'd be my guess. Time to wake up, Randy," I said and shook his shoulder.

"Huh?" Randy groaned and rubbed his face with his hands.

"Time to get up. It's after eleven."

"Why'd you let me sleep so late?"

"Ask your boy-band-toy. Normally he's the human alarm clock," I said.

"You must have really tired him out last night," Michael teased.

"Then it was in his dreams, 'cause we didn't fuck on your sofa," Randy countered.

"On the floor, huh?" Michael shot back.

"None of the above."

"Well, everyone is running late. You'd better get in the shower now," I said.

"But isn't Lance in there right now?" Michael asked with exaggerated concern.

"You don't say. He'll just have to deal with it. There's not enough time for everyone to take a separate shower," I hinted.

"Cute, guys," Randy grimaced.

"Thanks, but I'm not kidding. Get your ass in there. I'm not telling you to fuck, just shower together to save time. There's not enough time for everyone else to shower if you two have too much fun," I said.

Randy looked at us a few seconds and then sighed as he stood up. "The things I do to make my friends happy," he muttered as he padded off to the bathroom.

"I'm sure glad we didn't have to twist his arm any harder," Michael smirked.

"Yea. We'll have plenty of time for some coffee," I said and continued to the kitchen to make some.

"I'm gonna wake Scott," Michael said.

I started the coffee and then washed some cups as Michael and Scott wandered into the kitchen and dropped down at the table. No sooner had they sat down, when the door buzzer went off.

"They're early. I'll get it," Michael said and went to buzz Gale and Hal in.

"I need coffee," Scott mumbled and stared longingly at the brewing pot.

"It's coming," I said and grabbed the handle, ready to grab a cup as soon as it finished. A few more seconds and I poured our cups and sat down just as Michael was walking back in with Gale and Hal.

"I know we're a little early, but I didn't think you guys operated on gay time," Hal joked as they walked in.

"Our alarm clock was defective this morning. Want some coffee while you wait?" Michael said.

"I'm not surprised. They were still making out when I went to bed around two," Scott said.

"I'll have some coffee, and what are you talking about?" Gale said.

"Help yourself. Cups are above the pot," Michael said and sat down beside me.

"Randy with his boy-band-toy," I answered Gale.

"He brought one home?" Hal laughed.

"He only brought ONE home?" Gale added.

"There was only one available. They're in the shower now," I said.

"It's about time he got laid," Gale laughed.

"I don't think they have, actually, but you'll have to ask to know for sure," I shrugged.

"Where is the bathroom?"

"First door on the left, but we only have..."

"Be right back," Gale interrupted with a smirk and walked out.

"Is he going to barge in on them?" Michael asked Hal.

"Probably," Hal said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"What time do you have to be at Tower?" I asked.

"2:30 or so. It's supposed to start at three. You know, I was expecting more of a dump. This doesn't look like a student's apartment," Hal answered.

"My grandfather owned it, and it was a dump when I moved in," I answered. "Or at least it looked pretty bad."

"Our new place will be even better," Michael said.

"You bought another place? What's wrong with this place? Wanted to be closer to the city?"

"Further, actually. I bought a theater," Michael explained.

"More like a huge building with a small theater in it," Scott corrected.

"Sounds cool. What are you going to do with all the space? Have productions there?"

"It'll be a working theater, and we're gonna put apartments on the upper floors," I said.

"Albinos shouldn't breed," Gale laughed as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Do we need to have the 'birds and bees' talk?" Hal smirked.

"Same action, different consequences," Gale shrugged and got himself some coffee.

"So?" I asked Gale.

"They mooned me."

It was 12:30 before everyone was ready and we went out for a long, leisurely lunch before Randy, Gale and Hal had to go to Tower Records to sign DVDs. They took a limo from the restaurant and the rest of us headed home.

"Wanna snuggle and watch QAF all day?" Michael asked as we got home.

"Sure," Lance joked.

"For a little while. I want to try to get the plans finished," I said and stuck my tongue out at Lance.

"You've already got the plans almost done?" Scott asked.

"Just the building as it is now, not the remodel plans."

"Good. You would have left the mortal realm if you had all the plans done already."

"Aww, little Scotty. I didn't realize you had me in line to be a deity," I teased.

"Yea right," Scott groaned.

"What would you be the god of? Bullshit?" Lance teased.

"I'm good, but not that good."

"I think you should be the god of fucking," Michael said. Lance and Scott both busted up laughing.

"What?! He's good," Michael protested.

"Thanks. I love you, too," I said and gave him a quick kiss.

"How do you think you'd pray to the god of fucking?" Scott asked.

"By fucking, of course," I answered.

"Even women?"

"It was just the god of fucking in general, not fucking guys. In order to pray to me, though, I guess it would have to be fucking a guy -- at least if you wanted me to hear your prayer."

"Depends on who you were fucking. Some people get really loud and would drown out everyone else," Lance smirked.

"You'd know best," Michael shot back.

"Are you a screamer?" Scott teased Lance.

"No. He's referring to other members of my group."

"Oh, yea. Him, too," Michael added.

"So, Mr. Bass. Seeing anyone new? Any chance of you working on your vocal technique?" I teased.

"Nah. We're just, you know, having fun," Lance blushed.

"You haven't been having too much fun since you've been sleeping on the sofa."

"That you know about," he hinted with a grin. "Anyway, we're not going to be a couple. I think I've had my fill of long distance relationships for a while."

"You should just do it and have a bit more fun. You've got the guest room you can use -- unless you want to give everyone a show. Randy is probably pretty used to that," Michael said.

"I don't know. Maybe. The shower was nice. Thanks for sending him in," Lance said to me.

"You're welcome."

"You wouldn't believe how much arm twisting and threatening it took to make him go in there," Michael said.

"I said go. He went," I said.

"Did you say 'come with me'?" Scott smirked at Lance.

"You've been hanging out with Michael too much," Lance groaned.

"You, too, since you got it so fast."

"Anyway. Tonight's the night. He leaves tomorrow," I said.

"I know. No pressure," Lance sighed.

"None. Just do what you've been doing. I promise we won't be cheering you guys on from the living room," I said.

"Just your bedroom?"

"No. Not at all. You'll have your privacy."

"At least until morning when we'll want details," Michael added.

"What he said," I agreed.

If there was any doubt that they'd do anything that night, it was obliterated after watching the first few episodes of the first season of QAF. Lance was obviously horny as hell and kept checking the clock looking at the door for Randy.

"You need some 'favors', Lance?" Michael teased him after a particularly hot sex scene.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Lance said uncomfortably like Michael had asked him if he wanted a blow-job. It might have had something to do with the fact that he was about to burst through his pants as well.

Michael gave him a exasperated look and ran to our room, reappearing a minute later with a few condoms and tossed them at Lance.

"Oh. Um... Thanks," Lance blushed.

"If I don't hear some serious moaning tonight I'm gonna bust in there make you two do something," I said seriously, and then smiled.

"For two people so relationship oriented you're sure pushing hard for me to have casual sex," Lance said.

"It's not really casual, but beyond that, you both want it and need it," I said.

"We just want you two to be happy," Michael said.

"Thanks...I think," Lance said hesitantly.

"If nothing else, you both got to sleep with a hot guy that lots of guys want," I smirked.

The door buzzer went off. Michael jumped up and buzzed Randy in.

"You guys want to go out? Maybe a late dinner or something?" Scott asked.

"And leave Randy and Lance here?" I asked.

"Of course," Scott smiled at Lance.

"You would not believe how many freaks there are in the world," Randy sighed as we walked in.

"How so?" Michael asked.

"Don't even get me started... There were a couple guys who insisted that I was dating them. Uh, hello? I think I'd know. I had a couple offers from girls to 'convert' me. It was insane. I mean, most people were nice, if not a bit excited, but the psychos were on parade," Randy ranted and dropped down on the sofa next to Lance.

"I know what would be perfect for you," I said as I jumped up and ran to my room to get the bottle of massage oil. I brought it back and handed it to Lance. "Someone could use a massage," I smiled.

"Oh, god, yes. A massage would be so nice. Please," Randy cooed and gave Lance a puppy dog look.

"How could I say no?" Lance smiled.

"The rest of us are going out for a few hours. Just so you know," Michael said.

"Hint. Hint," Scott said casually as he grabbed his jacket.

"I don't know whether to be thankful that they're going away, or offended that they don't think we can figure out anything by ourselves," Randy said to Lance.

"I vote for being thankful they're going away," Lance said and gave us all a "get lost" look.

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