This story is a work of fiction. I do not know the true sexuality of either Backstreet Boys, or Nsync. If you are not at least 18 years old, or are offended by homosexual material, then, this story is NOT for you.
Kevin and Joey Chapter 9
The drive back to the hotel was pretty quiet. Joey sat there just staring out the window, as Kevin's face faded in and out of his mind. He knew he loved him, but he also knew that he loved JC. How could things have gotten into such a mess?
"Hey, are you okay?" JC asked, glancing at him.
"Yeah, I think so." Joey replied, not sure if he was trying to convince himself or JC.
"Are you sure? You're being pretty quiet." JC said, trying to initiate a conversation.
"I'm just thinking, that's all." Joey said, the turmoil inside him strengthening.
"What cha thinking about?" JC asked, having a pretty good idea.
"Kevin," Joey said, looking in JC's direction.
"Me, too." JC said, surprising Joey somewhat.
"Really?" Joey asked, his question speaking volumes to JC.
"Yeah, I told him, I wouldn't do anything to try to take you away from him, and look at me." JC said, the guilt strong in his voice.
"Come on, Josh. It's not like you made me do anything against my will." Joey said, his own guilt surfacing.
"Maybe, but I sure didn't do anything to stop it." JC said, glancing once again in Joey's direction.
"I shouldn't have done that to you. I'm sorry." Joey said, reflecting on his actions.
"I didn't put up much of a fight, did I?" JC said, giving Joey a coy little smile.
"No, I guess you didn't." Joey said, with a little laugh.
"Well, at least we stopped before we got too carried away." JC said, giving new hope to the situation.
"Yeah, that's true, but I still feel like I've betrayed, Kevin." Joey said, staring out the window once again.
"That makes two of us." JC said, focusing his attention on the road. "Maybe, I shouldn't have said anything"
"It's okay, Josh. I'm glad you told me." Joey said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.
"Are you?" JC asked, surprising himself as well as Joey.
"Yes, I am." Joey said, looking at JC in confusion.
"Joey," JC started, pausing as if he couldn't find the right words.
"Yeah," Joey responded, shifting his gaze towards JC.
"Are you gonna leave, Kevin?" JC asked, his words gripping Joey's heart with fear.
"Josh, I," Joey started, only to be interrupted.
"I'm not asking you to, Joe. I'm just asking if that's what you're thinking." JC said, unsure how to feel.
"Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm thinking right now." Joey responded, his heart torn in many different directions.
Joey found himself in a very delicate situation. He had just found out that the best friend that he secretly loved, returned his feelings. However, he also had, Kevin, someone that he loved dearly. So much to think about, so little time for solutions.
"Joey?" JC said, shaking his arm to get his attention.
"What?" Joey asked, unaware of what had happened.
"Are you sure you're okay? You zoned out on me there for a minute." JC asked, concerned for his friend.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that, this is a lot to handle." Joey said, hoping JC would understand.
"I know, Joe. I'm really sorry." JC said, acknowledging his part in Joey's pained state of mind.
"Sorry that you love me?" Joey asked, taking JC by surprise.
"No, I'm just sorry that I've caused you so much pain." JC said, being completely honest with him.
"It's okay, Josh. I do love you. I just need some time with this, okay?" Joey said, bringing JC's hand to his lips and kissing it.
"Joey, whatever you decide, I'll be okay." JC said, looking into Joey's eyes.
Before Joey could say anything, they found themselves back at the hotel. As they pulled into a parking spot in the back, both sat still as if they hated to get out of the car.
"How am I going to tell, Kevin about this?" Joey said, more to himself than to JC.
"Do you want me to go with you?" JC asked, not wanting Joey to endure alone.
"No, I need to do this alone." Joey said, staring at the hotel entrance.
"Are you sure, Joe. Are you really sure?" JC asked, his voice that of concern.
"Yeah, I'm sure. I have to tell him. He deserves that much from me." Joey said, reaching for the car door.
JC stood with his arms on top of the car, watching, as Joey walked away. His heart was hopeful, yet full of regret. He loved Joey. There was no doubt in his mind. However, he wondered if the love he felt for him, was strong enough to overcome the pain that he had caused. As Joey faded from his sight, JC could not help thinking that one way or another, tonight, he would lose a friend.
Joey, walked silently down the hall that would lead him to, Kevin. Never in his life had he felt so torn apart inside. In a lifetime, a man is lucky to find one great love. Joey, had managed to find two. In a perfect world, he could have them both. However, he knew that by the next evening, there would be only one. The only problem being, he didn't know which one.
Joey, stood staring at Kevin's door, unconsciously wringing his hands together. His arm felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds as he raised it to knock on the door. Before he could, he heard a voice behind him.
"Joey?" The voice questioned.
Turning, Joey came face to face with the most brilliant blue eyes he had ever seen. Even though he recognized them, his breath still caught in his throat.
"Joey? Are you okay?" Brian said, as he touched his shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm okay." Joey said, knowing that it was far from the truth.
"Are you sure? You don't look so good." Brian said, becoming concerned.
"Is it that obvious?" Joey asked, finally confessing his true feelings.
"To me, it is. Listen, why don't you come with me." Brian said, taking Joey by the arm.
"Where are we going?" Joey said, giving Brian an uneasy look.
"We're going to my room to talk for a little while." Brian said, still leading Joey by the arm.
"Thanks, Brian, but I think I've had enough talks for one night." Joey said, trying his best to protest the situation.
"Well, you're about to have another one. Now, will you just shut up and get in here." Brian said, with a smile, as he held the door open for Joey.
Joey just shook his head as he looked at Brian's smiling face. Hesitantly, he stepped inside.
"So, what's on your mind?" Joey asked, as he turned to face Brian.
"I think the more appropriate question would be, what's on yours?" Brian stated, giving his friend another warm smile.
"You wouldn't understand." Joey said, as he lowered his gaze to the floor.
"Try me," Brian said, in a more serious tone.
"I don't know, Bri." Joey said, unsure of what to do.
"Did you and Kevin have a fight?" Brian asked, causing Joey to cringe.
"No, at least, not yet," Joey responded, confusing Brian even more.
"I don't get it." Brian said, giving Joey a perplexed look.
"Brian, will you give me your word, that whatever I say to you will remain between us?" Joey asked, giving him a serious look.
"Sure," Brian stated, matter of factly.
"Even if it's about, Kevin?" Joey asked, testing the waters.
"Even if it's about, Kev." Brian said, unyielding in his position.
"Okay, here goes," Joey said, as he took a seat on a nearby couch.
Brian sat across from him listening to every word that he had to say. His heart went out to him, as he recalled the events of the last few days. He could see the pain in his expression, as he prepared himself for an impossible decision. How could a man choose between two people that he loved, more than he loved himself.
"What do I do, Brian?" Joey asked, in a pleading voice.
"Joey, I can't answer that question. That's a decision that you're going to have to make on your own." Brian said, knowing it was of no help at all.
"All I know, is either way, somebody gets hurt." Joey said, as his eyes clouded with unshed tears.
"Joey, I'm going to ask you a question. I don't want you to think about it. I just want you to tell me the first thing that comes to mind, okay?" Brian said, looking into his grieving expression.
"Okay," Joey said, his voice emotionless.
"What do you see for yourself in the future?" Brian asked, causing a change in Joey's expression.
"I see myself, hopefully, making music, touring the world, and sharing my love with," Joey said, stopping in mid sentence, as he looked into Brian's eyes.
Brian could tell that without even thinking about it, Joey's heart had just told him what he needed to know. He wrapped his arms around him, as Joey broke down in tears. Holding him for what seemed like hours, he stroked his hair, and did his best to comfort his pain.
"Brian, I can't do this." Joey spoke, his voice drained physically.
"You have to, Joey. It's not fair to you, or to them." Brian said, bringing reality to the situation.
"I love him, Bri." Joey said, knowing in his heart, that it wasn't enough.
"I know, and so does he." Brian said, looking into his eyes. "It's going to be okay."
"Then why does it hurt so much?" Joey asked, as if his heart were torn into a million pieces.
"Maybe it's because, no matter what happens, a part of your heart will always belong to him." Brian said, giving Joey a warm smile.
Joey thought about what Brian had just said. He was right. No matter where he went, what he did, or who he was with, he knew that a part of him would always belong to one of the great loves of his life. Somehow, that thought brought him comfort as he smiled at Brian, for the first time since they had started talking.
"Are you okay?" Brian asked, holding Joey at arm's length, and examining his face.
"Yeah, I think so." Joey said, wiping his eyes.
"You sure?" Brian asked, looking for any signs of doubt.
"Yeah, I'll be okay." Joey said, giving him a smile.
"If you need me, I'll be here." Brian said, trying to reassure him.
"Thanks, Bri, for everything." Joey said, as he pulled him into a hug.
"Hey, I didn't do anything." Brian said, returning his hug.
Joey stepped back and looked at Brian's smiling face. He appeared to him as if he were an angel. That's what he was, an angel, an answer to an unspoken prayer. Brian's modesty, only made him shine even more in Joey's eyes.
"You've done more than you will ever know, my friend." Joey said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
"I'm just glad I could help" Brian said, as they walked to the door.
Joey turned, facing Brian once more as he stepped into the hallway. No words were spoken, yet each of them understood the silent exchange. Brian stood in the doorway looking on, as Joey disappeared from his sight.
Joey walked around for what seemed like hours searching his heart and hoping he was making the right decision. Just as he had promised, he found himself once again at Kevin's door. Just as he had done before, he found himself hesitant to knock. Finally, he summoned the courage he was looking for, and tapped on the door.
To his surprise, there was no answer. So, he knocked again, still no answer. 'I wonder where he could be?' He thought to himself. After a third time with the same result, he decided to head back to his room.
Joey was still a hurricane of emotion as he arrived at his room. Knowing that Kevin had the spare key, he half way expected him to be there, when he opened the door. As he turned on the light, he found himself once again, alone. He made his way to his bed and sat on the edge. As he sat there, he noticed a piece of paper on his mirror. He picked it up and began to read.
Dear Joey,
If you're reading this, you've already discovered that I'm not in my room. Don't worry, I'm okay, and I will see you in the morning. I knew when you left this afternoon, that you were about to find out something that would change your life forever. I'm sure there has to be a million things going through your mind right now, and it kills me that I'm not there for you. I just felt that it would be better if I gave you some time and space to think about things. We'll talk about everything in the morning. If you need me, you have my cell number. If not, I'll see you tomorrow.
I Love You
Kevin
Joey felt the tears once again hit his cheeks as he finished Kevin's letter. He knew without a doubt that he loved him. He ran his hand over the page as he thought of how, Kevin always knew what he needed. The truth of the matter was that he was, in fact, glad that Kevin wasn't there. His reasons were many, but the main one being that he would have some time. Time to think, time to cry, time to hope, time to remember, and time to prepare for the inevitable.
To Be Continued...
Okay, guys/gals that's it for now. Let me know what you think about the story. Send mail to starstories34@yahoo.com Oh yeah, check out my other story 'Me and Joey.' Until next time, Much Luv to Ya!!!