Kevin & Justin - Chapter 17
Kevin & Justin
Peter Kamphuis
(rh_chan@hotmail.com or rh_chan@stormfront.com.au)
15 June 2000
Disclaimer:
All the usual disclaimers apply: please stop reading if you are underage or homophobic. Please note that this is a work of fiction - nothing is being implied about the sexuality of any of the people portrayed below.
Author's Notes:
Hi Everyone.
Sorry, and a thousand apologies!, for the lateness of this part. It was a killer to write. I wanted it to be just right. I don't think I fully got there, but close enough to satisfy me. I hope you find it just as satisfying.
One little thing... there may be one or two little scenes where K & J get frisky with each other in this chapter , but I'm convinced that I won't be able to pull off a credible sex scene for these two. So please don't expect to see them in bed together, even though that will happen. I'll leave that part to everyone's imagination. Sorry to those of you who wanted an 'official' sex scene.
A very big thank you to 'mh' for his efforts in beta reading this chapter for me. Thanks, buddy. I really appreciate your efforts and your quick response. You're a gem!
Finally, I'm very sorry about the lengthy 'Previously...' section below, but there was a lot of stuff that happened in the previous chapter which needed to be covered.
Anyways, please enjoy.
Pete.
Previously...
Justin is woken by JC, who wants to know where he had disappeared to the day before, and Justin lets it slip that he spent the day with Kevin and the Backstreet Boys in Lexington. JC gets upset, feeling that Justin is going to hurt himself again. Justin gets upset at JC in turn, and they end up arguing. When Justin goes downstairs for breakfast, he argues with his mother, who was informed by JC of his whereabouts the previous night, and he storms out of the house to cool off.
While driving around Orlando he decides that he has to take back control of his life from his bandmates and mother. He arranges a group meeting and tells his bandmates and mother in no uncertain terms that he wants to live his life his own way, without their interference or censorship. Chris backs him up, and one by one they all come round to accepting his decision - with the exception of JC, who storms off to his room.
Justin is about to follow JC and talk to him, when Joey stops him. Joey goes upstairs to JC's room instead and confronts JC with his real worry - that Justin getting hurt would end up hurting JC as well. He points out that Justin is the only one responsible for how he wants to live his life, and that they were wrong to think otherwise. JC is too upset to do anything but cry himself to sleep, but Joey knows he'll eventually come around to accepting Justin's choices.
On the tour bus, Kevin goes to breakfast and notices that A.J. is studying him surreptitiously. He decides to get everything out into the open, so he tells A.J. that he loves Justin. A.J. knew of course, and lets it slip that he has known for a while. When Kevin queries him, A.J. responds by telling him that Justin is Kevin's soulmate. He has known they belonged together since the night he saw Justin crying over Kevin's bed at the hotel at the start of their joint tour. That's why he believes Justin loves Kevin, regardless of what Kevin and Brian have seen or heard to the contrary.
Kevin gets A.J. to tell him exactly what happened that night, and is overwhelmed at what he hears; as are the others. Kevin ends up leaving and going to his bunk where he cries himself to sleep, while his friends cry on each other's shoulders.
Later that evening, after Kevin has woken up, the guys are eating dinner in silence. A.J. is fed up with Kevin's attitude and tries to convince him to just tell Justin that he's gay and loves him. Kevin finally relents, but before anything is settled, Brian tries to convince him to not do it. Brian is upset about what might happen to Kevin if Justin rejects him, and he can't stand to see his cousin in any more pain. He's verbally attacking Kevin by this point, partly from real concern, but mostly because of his own feelings of hurt on behalf of his cousin.
Kevin takes the verbal attack almost calmly. However, when he responds, the guys are awed at the pain and hurt he's feeling, and what he has endured so far. A.J. convinces him that he has to sort it out once and for all, and Brian finally accepts it. Kevin decides he has to tell Justin as soon as he sees him, which is in Orlando during the dinner they'd planned to have. Howie and the others convince him that telling Justin about his feelings in a public place is not a good idea, and suggest to him to have dinner in a more private location, like his house. He agrees.
Finally, it's the 1st of December. BSB are back in Orlando--just for the day--for their concert. Kevin's phone hasn't stopped ringing all day, and he's becoming more and more stressed. Just as he's sorted out one problem, the phone rings again. It's Michael, their agent, who has Justin on the other line. Kevin agrees to talk to Justin and they discuss the change of location of their dinner plans. Justin is fine with the change and he and Kevin end their conversation on a happy note. Kevin's mood has instantly changed. He makes one final decision: he leaves his cell phone with Howie, as he doesn't want to be interrupted at dinner.
That afternoon, after having checked the food he has catered in for the hundredth time, and double checking himself in his bathroom mirror, the door bell rings. He hurriedly fixes his hair, panicking at the impending ordeal, and rushes out to answer the door. He flings the door open, just as it chimes for a second time...
And now...
Kevin & Justin - Chapter 17
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Kevin's breath caught in his throat as he stared at the angel standing before him. 'He's truly an angel,' he thought in wonder, as he drank in the sight of his one and only true love standing before him. An angel in human form; radiating unearthly beauty, grace and innocence. And patiently waiting on his porch for entry.
Justin looked back at the slightly out-of-breath man who was standing inside the house holding the front door open. Kevin looked absolutely stunning, even when he was out of breath. Those beautiful blue-green eyes--sparkling as they looked back at him--were deep pools of comfort and peace that he could easily lose himself in, if he hadn't already.
Kevin continued to regard the golden-haired angel who stood patiently returning his gaze. The smile playing across Justin's face was full of mischief and joy, even as it radiated Justin's pleasure to be standing there, in front of him, waiting to fulfill their long-anticipated 'dinner date'.
Kevin finally dragged his eyes away from his angel's compelling face, realising that he was openly staring at Justin, and roused himself to speak. "Justin."
If anything, Justin's smile became broader and happier. Kevin's voice and tone were enough to calm him and excite him all at the same time. Peace and contentment settled over him as he happily drowned in the benediction of Kevin's voice.
"Kevin."
Kevin felt himself returning the magnificence of Justin's smile ten-fold. A chorus of real angels could not have produced the same feelings in him as Justin's voice had just done.
"Can I come in, Boo?" The smile on Justin's face transformed into a grin as he politely asked for entry. It grew even wider as Kevin recalled himself and jumped into action.
"Sure, Just. I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking. Please come in." Kevin wished a fissure would open up and swallow him whole. Shit! If he wasn't careful, he'd embarrass the both of them before they'd even had dinner!
Justin settled for a small, happy smile as he entered Kevin's home and politely waited for his friend to close the door behind them.
"Sorry about that," Kevin repeated, wishing he could erase the past few minutes. Well, almost all of the past few minutes...
"Don't worry about it, Kev," Justin replied equably, touching Kevin's arm in emphasis.
Kevin smiled at Justin, even as he struggled to contain the shock that travelled through his body at Justin's simple touch. 'Oh God, this is going to be a torture to get through.' he thought. "Thanks, Curly," he said out loud. "Umm, did you want to have dinner straight away, or did you want to sit and talk for a while?" Kevin didn't know what prompted him to ask this, but he felt he had to give Justin the choice. He also realised he was babbling; a tendency he experienced whenever he was feeling nervous.
"I'd really like to talk to you," Justin replied wistfully, "but I know you've got a concert tonight, and you'll need to eat something before performing. So, I guess it's best for us to eat first. If we have some spare time after dinner, we can talk then."
"Oh," Kevin said. "Okay, I guess we can do that."
Justin smiled once again to see Kevin looking so flustered--he looked so damn cute when he was lost. But underneath it all, Justin wondered why Kevin was acting so skittish. "Or we can talk first, if you really want to?" he volunteered helpfully.
"No, no. That's okay. We've got enough time this afternoon to do both," Kevin replied, settling down slightly. He smiled to indicate his willingness to have dinner first. "This way, monsieur," he added, bowing and extending his hand in the direction of the dining room like an overly posh maître d'hôtel.
Justin just grinned as he walked to the indicated archway and peered into the dining room. He almost gasped out loud as he saw the table laid out lavishly for the dinner. There were gleaming plates and utensils laid out neatly, and the candles burning almost invisibly in the wintry afternoon sunlight were a nice--almost romantic--touch; even if they couldn't be appreciated to their fullest extent in the sunlit room.
"Wow," Justin said, turning back to look at Kevin, and noticing Kevin's concerned look. "It's so... so..."
"What?" Kevin asked, becoming more concerned and flustered than he already was. He wanted everything to be just perfect for Justin and their dinner.
Justin controlled his impulse to smile at Kevin's agitated state, resolving to treat the situation, and especially Kevin's feelings, seriously. He also controlled, with greater difficulty, the urge to get a full-blown erection at the sexy, confused look on his angel's face. "It's stunning, Kevin," he replied simply, not entirely speaking about the table setting alone.
"That's a relief," Kevin said, after a quick sigh of relief. He flashed Justin a lopsided smile and placed his hand on Justin's upper arm, guiding him to the table. "Okay, you can sit down here. And as soon as I get the food, I'll sit down there. Okay?"
Justin almost lost his resolve to keep quiet as Kevin's rambling brought him close to breaking out into a laugh. He settled back into his chair and made himself comfortable, as Kevin left the dining room to get their dinner.
'Oh my God,' Kevin thought, grabbing the still warm soup bowls from the oven. 'What's wrong with me? Why am I acting like a teenage girl on her first date? It's not like Curly and I haven't had dinner before. We've even had dinner alone before, so why am I feeling like this?'
He paused in his ruminations and shook his head. 'Idiot. Of course you know why you're feeling like this! It's not just another dinner with Justin. It's more important than that. Not only do you have to tell him you're gay, you also have to find out if he and you have a future together.'
The mere thought of his most treasured dream and fantasy becoming a reality had his mind in a spin. 'Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!' He looked down at his shaking hands and suddenly felt his resolve slipping. He hastily placed the bowls on the nearby island bench and brought his trembling hands up to his face, as he tried to control the sudden dizziness that gripped him. 'I can't do this. I can't.'
His subconscious rebelled. A collage of images assaulted his mind in quick fire succession. First, he saw Brian looking at him with a smile on his lips; the understanding and love shining clearly in his eyes. Nick appeared next, grinning widely as he raised both thumbs in the universal sign of 'go for it'. Howie's gentle smile--so vastly different from the scowl he'd had on his face earlier that afternoon after Kevin had offloaded his cell phone--was encouraging and full of love and support. They all seemed to be encouraging him to take the chance with Justin, though he wasn't sure their encouragement would be enough.
A.J. appeared next, but, unlike his bandmates, he was scowling at Kevin. There was full-blown pity and a hint of anger showing in his eyes as he shook his head slowly in disappointment. Kevin couldn't fathom what the image meant, until A.J. moved a few steps to the side. Behind him, sitting on the floor, with his head buried in his knees, was Justin's slumped figure. Kevin watched in mounting dread as Justin raised his face towards him. His breath caught and his heart stopped beating as Justin's tear-streaked face came into view.
But what scared him to his very core was the lack of light in Justin's eyes--Justin was staring back at him totally devoid of life and spirit.
Kevin shook off the final image with great difficulty. He almost felt himself give in to despair and hopelessness, but he was going to be damned if he let that willingly happen to Justin! No matter what happened, he was going to see to it that Justin was happy. Even if that meant he couldn't be part of Justin's life. And, as there was only one way to know for sure, he was determined more than ever to see it through.
Taking a firmer grip on the bowls of soup, he set out for the dining room, quietly whispering "Thanks, guys. Thanks, Alex," under his breath.
Justin was beginning to debate whether or not to go looking for Kevin when Kevin came back into the dining room.
Kevin smiled at him, apologising adroitly for taking so long, as he placed one of the bowls he was carrying in front of Justin. He then walked around to his own seat and placed the second bowl down before taking his own seat.
"What's this, Kev?" Justin asked, looking at the bowl dubiously.
"Uh, pumpkin and sweet corn soup," Kevin replied, starting to look concerned again. "Why? Is there something wrong?"
"Oh, no. Nothing wrong," Justin replied hastily, smiling at Kevin in reassurance. He picked up the soup spoon and dipped it into the soup, gathering a generous portion of the creamy liquid. Looking up at Kevin, who was looking back at him intently, he brought the spoon to his mouth and tasted the soup. An almost orgasmic feeling overtook him as the flavour hit his taste buds fully, causing a low moan to escape his lips. Justin blushed in embarrassment, uncertain as to whether the moan was more because of the soup or the intense way in which Kevin had observed him sipping it. "Oh, wow. That's really good," Justin said enthusiastically. He just hoped that his explanation would convince Kevin that the moan had been brought on by the taste of the soup, rather than for any other reason.
Kevin, who had almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of Justin's moan, settled down into a grin. "Yeah, it is good, isn't it? I can't get enough of this stuff. It's my favourite entrée."
"Ah," Justin said, comprehendingly.
"What?" Kevin asked, an eyebrow lifting in query.
"Nothing, really, Boo. It just makes sense now."
"I wish it made sense to me," Kevin replied rhetorically.
Justin smiled broadly. "All this," he replied, indicating the lavish dinner settings and candles, and especially the soup. "I was wondering how you'd make it through the concert tonight if all you had was this for dinner. But as soon as you said 'entrée' it made sense." Justin's smile came back in full force. "Do you always put on a three course meal when you have people around for dinner?"
Kevin returned the smile, privately relieved that Justin seemed to appreciate the effort that he'd put into preparing the dinner--bar the cooking. "No, not always. Hardly ever, in fact. I only go to this sort of trouble for my closest friends." He let himself drown for a moment in the happy grin coming from his table companion.
Justin didn't know what else to say without becoming choked or emotional, so he settled for another careful sip of his warm and extremely spicy soup. Kevin seemed to take the hint, because he didn't force the conversation at that point; he joined Justin in sipping the soup in companionable silence.
The stretch limousine pulled out of the Orlando Arena carpark with only a single passenger inside. Several minutes later, in the converted 'backstage' area of the Arena, Nick located the remaining two of his three companions and worriedly informed them: "I can't find Brian anywhere! He's missing!"
Kevin guided Justin to the living room, and sat him down on the couch. With great daring, he settled himself down right next to Justin and glanced over at him.
Over the course of the dinner, he and Justin had started discussing many things, including their respective lives since the joint tour had finished. But somehow Kevin couldn't help feeling that Justin was - hiding? - something. Or at least, Justin wasn't being totally candid about everything that had happened since the day they'd separated.
'You're a fine one to talk,' he thought to himself, as he recalled everything he had skipped or glossed over when it was his turn to bring Justin up-to-date with the happenings in his life since their joint tour had ended.
But besides this one small concern, he and Justin had talked freely and openly about everything from their bandmates and families to their favourite food, music and movies. At one point Kevin had even found himself recounting a humourous incident involving Nick and Brian shortly after the group had formed. He was glad to see that Justin had found it funny as well, and joined in with Curly's laughter at the climax of the story.
When the topic of conversation had finally turned to sex, as it invariably does in most male conversations, both men hastily found a way to change the topic without trying to be obvious about it.
Now, almost an hour after having eaten a hearty meal topped off with a triple-layered chocolate mud cake for dessert, the time was rapidly approaching for the conversation to turn serious. A subtle change in Kevin's body language was enough for Justin to sense the change in mood, though he didn't know what it heralded.
Justin looked into the still smiling face of Kevin, and noticed the small lines of stress on Kev's forehead and around his eyes. He also noticed that Kevin's smile was slowly fading, seemingly against the owner's will. Justin couldn't help but feel his euphoric state plummet as the storm rapidly approached.
"Flight AA439 disembarking at Gate 53."
Brian took note of the gate number just announced over the public address system and hurried through the airport terminal building as fast as he could run. He didn't know why he had bothered with his standard disguise of sunglasses and baseball cap as he was attracting more than enough attention at the moment in his mad dash through the building.
Barely a minute later, and huffing and wheezing like an old steam engine, he skidded to a halt just outside the gate. He scanned the crowd of people who had already disembarked, but couldn't see the couple he was looking for.
Several times the glass doors opened and disgorged other disembarking passengers, but none of them were the objects of Brian's search.
Finally, a good many minutes after he had caught his breath, he took note of two people exiting the gate. He rushed over to them, grinning widely as he approached them. "It's so good to see you," he said, hugging each of them in turn.
"And you too, Brian," the man replied on behalf of himself and the silent woman at his side.
"So how was your flight, Aunt Ann?" Brian asked, looking over at Kevin's mother.
Justin forced himself to remain calm, even as the silence between himself and Kevin stretched further. He realised that something was bothering Kevin, and Kevin was desperately trying to organise his thoughts, but it didn't mean that he had to enjoy the tense atmosphere that had enveloped the entire room.
Kevin, struggling with his conscience and fears, was slowly tearing himself apart. He knew he had to tell Justin that he was gay, but he didn't want to say anything if it would end up hurting Justin. And he didn't know, at least not for certain, that Justin didn't love JC. Once he had committed himself to speaking the words to Justin, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop short of telling Justin everything.
But what if that ultimately ended up hurting Justin? What if Justin really loved JC? The last thing that Justin would welcome would be Kevin's profession of love. And the last thing that Kevin would welcome--or want--would be to hurt his angel unnecessarily.
But the longer he delayed telling Justin, the worse it was going to be on both their nerves...
"Justin?"
"Yeah, Boo?" Justin replied, almost as softly as Kevin had spoken. His voice was filled with anticipation and dread in equal measure.
"Justin, I need to ask you something. Something personal." Kevin swallowed nervously and tried to fortify his trembling voice. "I just hope you can forgive me for doing this."
"What is it, Kev?" Justin asked, sounding concerned. "You know you can ask me anything. Nothing you can say is going to bother me."
"This might," Kevin replied, almost under his breath. He looked deeply into Justin's eyes and steeled himself for the moment of truth. There was only one way to find out if he had a future with Justin. And that was to find out what Justin felt for Josh. "Justin, do you love Josh?"
Justin felt his body collapse into the back of the couch. His mind seemed to become frozen as he replayed Kevin's question over and over in his mind; hearing the words but not quite comprehending them.
Kevin glanced over at the slumped figure of his angel and saw the shock written all over Justin's face. With a sinking heart he realised that what he had feared the most had just being borne out. Justin really did love JC. What had he done?!
"I'm sorry, Justin. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you this way. Please forget I ever said anything." He struggled to apologise even as his heart started to pound painfully in his suddenly tight chest.
Justin shook himself out of his shock and looked across at Kevin. He seemed to be on the verge of crying at his imagined offense. Justin reached over and gently laid a hand on Kevin's arm. "Boo, there's nothing to forgive. I'm not hurt. You just surprised me, that's all." And that was putting it mildly! Justin now realised that Kevin had really known about his sexuality since their first concert. And knowing it, Kevin had chosen to remain his friend.
Kevin looked back into Justin's eyes and could see the truth shining there.
"To answer your question, Boo, I'd have to say no. Sure, I love Josh and the other guys as friends and 'brothers', but I don't love him any other way. Even if he was gay, which he isn't, I still don't think I could ever love him. He's too much like a real-life brother for that to ever happen." Justin ignored the uneasiness that overcame him as he related his feelings to Kevin so openly. If Kevin had accepted him for what he was, then he wouldn't mind him speaking about loving, or not loving in this case, other men.
Kevin stared into the eyes that had captivated him so long ago, and knew that Justin had spoken the truth. No matter what he had thought of Justin's and Josh's situation before, he knew that Justin wasn't lying to him now. He and JC were not together, nor were they likely to ever be together; especially if Josh wasn't gay.
His heart soared as his mind realised the importance of Justin's words. Justin wasn't seeing Josh. And considering what A.J. had believed he had seen that night at the hotel, at the start of their joint tour, then that meant that Justin was in love with him instead!
A shudder passed through his body as he seriously considered the possibility. Could his dreams and his hopes possibly come true? But what if he and A.J. had totally misread the situation? A sense of dread filled him, close on the heels of his short-lived euphoria. He didn't know what to think anymore.
Justin watched as Kevin's face displayed a spectrum of emotions. He didn't know what was going on inside Kevin's mind, but he felt a sudden sense of hope flare within himself.
Kevin's gaze settled fully on Justin's face, as his wandering mind snapped back into focus. There was only one thing still left to be said, before their fate was sealed. He knew what he had to do...
Brian settled back into the limousine's seat, next to his cousin, Jerald, and opposite his aunt. From what he could see of the expression on her face, she still wasn't completely comfortable with the situation, or what the three of them had planned to do.
"Aunt Ann, I think you'd better tell me now if you don't want to go ahead with this," Brian advised her, using the sternest voice he dared use in her presence.
Ann looked at him briefly before resigning herself to going through with the plan. "No, Brian. I don't want to back out now. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this whole situation, but there's no point stopping now."
Brian silently sighed in relief. After the multitude of phone calls he had made to her over the previous four days, he was almost positive she was ready. Jerald, and even Tim when he had answered the phone once in a while, had also applied pressure on their mother to convince her to go through with Brian's plan. Now, on the verge of executing it, he wasn't going to settle for anything less than full participation from both of his relatives.
"Justin..."
Justin watched, almost breathless, as Kevin ducked his eyes and then looked back up at him.
"Curly, there was a reason why I asked you about your feelings for Josh," Kevin continued, sensing the tempo of his heartbeat increasing.
"Why?" Justin asked him softly, almost hopefully.
"Because..." Kevin replied, before stopping to swallow urgently. "Because..." He ducked his whole head this time, looking fixedly at Justin's hands resting in his angel's lap. He knew he was hesitating at the crucial moment from fear, so he decided to let himself go. If he couldn't tell Justin the way he had planned to, then he would just have to say it from his gut and his heart. He looked back up into Justin's anxious and encouraging expression, and spoke the words from his heart.
"Justin, I love you." He felt his face flush as the blood rushed to his face, but he pressed on. "I've loved you for so long now. And though I'm honestly terrified that you might not feel the same way about me, I couldn't keep this a secret anymore." He searched Justin's face for any reaction, and was disappointed to see Justin staring back at him blankly. "I... I'm sorry, Justin. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt..." Kevin trailed off as his eyes started to water. He hung his head as he waited for Justin to storm out of the house in anger, or, worse, upset and hurt.
Justin let Kevin's words sink in, not believing he had heard Kevin correctly. 'Kevin's gay!' was the first solid thought that went through his mind. A feeling of ecstasy swept through him as he realised the importance of that single fact. 'And he... he loves me?' Shock flooded through him as the revelation hit him fully. Kevin was in love with him! The one thing he had hoped beyond hope would come true - against all visible evidence to the contrary - had really come true. Kevin loved him! A tingle went through his body and had him shivering uncontrollably.
He looked across at Kevin's bowed figure, and realised that his angel was suffering. Kevin must have taken his silent reaction as meaning that Justin didn't love him. Well, nothing could be further than the truth!
"Oh, my sweet angel. Oh, my sweet Boo," Justin said softly, his voice full of happiness and wonder that such a sweet man could be in love with him. He felt a tingling behind his eyes and knew he was likely to shed some tears soon.
Kevin snapped his head up as soon as he heard Justin say 'angel'. He stared disbelievingly at Justin's happy face as Justin returned his gaze with a gleam of moisture in his eyes. He slowly, nervously, almost disbelievingly, and most of all, hopefully, asked, "Curly?"
Justin slowly reached out and tenderly caressed Kevin's cheek tentatively, almost fearfully, delighting in the feel of Kevin's skin against his palm. He hoped this wasn't just a dream--he couldn't bear it if he woke up and found that his one most heartfelt wish had disappeared in the blink of an eye. But the way that Kevin leaned into the caress, his eyes half-closing in wonder and his lips slowly drawing into a contented smile convinced him that it was all real. It was really happening. His ultimate wish had come true!
"Oh, Kev. You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that." Justin almost broke into a sob as he let his fears and worries go. "I've been waiting my whole life for this moment. I never thought it would come true. I..." Justin trailed off, drawing both hands to his face to wipe the tears from his eyes.
A moment later, he was gently pulled into the one place he'd always wanted to be: Kevin's arms. He let his hands fall against Kevin's chest as Kevin tightened his grip around him. He sighed contentedly as he felt Kevin's head come to rest against his own. He closed his eyes and let his senses take over; marvelling at the touch of Kevin's body against his; the smell of Kevin's skin and cologne; the sound of Kevin's even breathing; and the feel of Kevin's breath against his ear. He felt like he was experiencing a sensory overload, and he couldn't get enough of it.
"I almost gave up on this moment ever happening," Justin admitted softly.
"Me too, my angel," Kevin whispered in turn, deepening the embrace. He almost couldn't believe this was happening. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up. Justin really did love him. His Curly was as much in love with him, as he was in love with Justin. He held on to his angel as tightly as he could, marvelling at the feeling of his love in his arms.
"I love you, Kevin. I've loved you since the day we met." Justin pulled back from the embrace to look directly into Kevin's eyes. The love shining back at him was almost more than he could bear. Fresh tears filled his eyes, as he basked in the radiance of Kevin's love for him.
Kevin inched forward and brought his lips close to his angel's face. Justin, sensing what Kevin wanted to do, closed his eyes. Kevin closed the distance between them, and gently kissed Justin's right eyelid, then his left. He leant back a few inches to get another long look at his angel's face, then closed in again, aiming for Justin's lips.
Justin felt a shock of electricity race through his body as Kevin's lips brushed against his own. His eyes snapped open in surprise. Moments later they closed again, as his mouth started to obey the signals coming from his racing heart and mind. He returned the pressure in the kiss, and felt the press of electricity return to his body. He instinctively increased the pressure in the kiss, even as he felt Kevin doing the same.
Kevin had lost all coherent thought as he kissed the one and only person he had ever loved so much. His hands began to roam up and down Justin's back as the kiss went on. He opened his lips slightly and his tongue reached out to caress Justin's lips. A moment later, Justin's lips also parted and Justin's tongue came out to challenge his. The two of them duelled for a while, forcing their tongues into each other's mouths and against each other's lips; exploring and tasting every inch of each other's mouths. Kevin had never felt so charged, so alive, during any other kiss he had ever experienced.
Justin revelled in the pleasure he was experiencing. Kevin's mouth, lips and tongue were producing amazing feelings in him--just another aspect of this very special man who loved him. Just the thought of what Kevin could do to him elsewhere on his body had him trembling in anticipation.
Kevin finally came up for a breath of air. He looked at Curly's face - eyes still closed - and noticed that Justin was just as flushed as he felt he was. Justin's eyes flickered open as he realised that Kevin wasn't going to continue the kiss, and Kevin couldn't help but smile at the confusion and disappointment in Curly's expression.
"You'll probably get sick and tired of hearing this Curly, but I love you! I love you, Justin. I love you so much!" Kevin announced, grinning happily as he held onto his sweetheart. "I've also loved you since the day we met. I thought I didn't have any hope of being with you, but now it all seems like a bad dream."
Justin pondered Kevin's words and asked him, "Why did you think we couldn't be together?" Then remembering Kevin's original question to him, he added, "Does it have something to do with Josh?"
"Yeah, it does," Kevin replied. "I thought you and JC were together. You know... a couple. And since I didn't want to hurt either of you, I didn't say anything about the way I felt about you."
"Oh, Boo," Justin said softly, regretting the time they'd lost. "Why did you think Josh and I were together?"
During the better part of the hour that followed, Kevin and Justin related their stories to each other; each amazed at how deeply the other had sacrificed their feelings and happiness so the other could be 'happy'.
If anything, it made them both realise how much they really loved each other.
The limousine pulled up outside the backstage entrance to the arena. Brian escorted his aunt and cousin past the security checkpoint and guided them to the groups' makeshift dressing room.
He was somewhat relieved at the way things had gone so far--the easy part was over. But now he had to tackle the questions and recriminations from his bandmates. Somehow, he thought he would be lucky to make it onto the bus--after the concert--alive...
Justin lay next to his angel on the couch, his right hand resting on Kevin's chest, while his left hand propped up his head. Kevin was sandwiched between him and the back of the couch--just where Justin wanted him to be. He gazed down lovingly at Kevin as his love finished recounting the events of the past few days since the concert in Lexington.
Justin wondered how aware Kevin was of his presence? Deciding to find out, he slowly--ever so slowly--inched his hand down Kevin's torso, secretly thrilling at the feel of Kevin's body under his fingers. If only the two of them weren't clothed! He shuddered at the thought of being naked with Kevin.
"And then we arrived in Orlando early this morning, and I was practically on the phone for the whole day until you called...," Kevin was saying.
Justin nodded, and said, "A-ha." He continued his slow trek down his angel's torso, finally reaching the top of Kevin's jeans. His eyes were fixed on Kevin's face, but they were almost glazed as his concentration was centred elsewhere.
"And after you and I had our talk, A.J. and I went to a hotel room and had wild, passionate, monkey sex until about an hour and a half ago," Kevin continued, in the same tone as before.
"A-ha," Justin replied, nodding his head once again. Suddenly, his mind caught up with his ears, and he turned his full attention back to Kevin. "What? Huh?"
Kevin smiled hugely, then chuckled briefly. "Caught ya!" he teased.
Justin mock-fumed for a second, though he could never be really angry with Kevin, and then smiled back at him. "Yeah, you did. But now I've caught you." And while those words still hung in the air, he reached down and cupped Kevin's erection through his jeans.
Both men froze, even as they instinctively responded to the stimulation. Justin's hand gripped Kevin's erection involuntarily tighter, even as it jerked in excitement.
Neither of them moved a muscle; they just continued to stare into each other's surprised eyes. Just as Justin was about to release his hold of Kevin, Kevin reached down and placed his hand over Justin's, forcing Justin to leave his hand where it was.
"Just," Kevin said softly, almost in a whispered tone. "Don't ever feel guilty about what you do with me, or any parts of my body. My body, as well as my heart and mind, now belong to you. I'm yours for however long you want me. All of me. And if there's ever anything you do which I don't like, rest assured that I'll tell you."
Justin saw the love shining in Kevin's eyes as he spoke, and felt his heart soar. Kevin was offering himself fully to him--something he had constantly wished for, and dreamed of, for the past six months, but now, it was coming true.
"Kevin... I want you to know that the same goes for me. All of it. I belong to you as much as you belong to me. I love you, Boo."
"I love you too, Curly."
Kevin reached up, removing his hand from over Justin's in the process, and brought Justin's head down to his. Seeing Justin's love for him in Justin's eyes, even as he knew Justin could see his love for him in his own eyes, Kevin brought their lips together in a soul-shattering kiss.
Brian couldn't believe he was still alive and in one piece.
It had been touch and go for a while... A.J. and Howie had been antagonistic towards Brian and his relatives for almost the entire time they'd been in the dressing room. Nick, on the other hand, had remained silent. But the upset and hurt look in Nick's eyes was almost worse than Howie's and A.J.'s comments and attitude, combined.
Even now, after he had convinced the three of them to go along with his plan, he wasn't sure his and Nick's friendship would ever be the same.
'Sorry, Frack,' he thought, looking mournfully across at Nick's closed expression. 'I'm so sorry. I just hope that you'll forgive me some day for what I've done.' Somehow he didn't think that day was going to arrive any time soon.
"Kev should've been back by now," Howie said into the heavy silence, drawing all eyes to him. "I hope nothing went wrong at dinner."
"I'll call him," Brian said woodenly, before Howie reminded him that he had Kevin's cell phone with him. "I'll call his home number, then," Brian amended. "I just hope he's on his way here, otherwise we'll be cutting it a bit late."
No one bothered to reply to Brian's comment.
Against his better judgement--as he knew they were running out of time--Kevin allowed himself to be stripped - ever so slowly, and in between long, heated kisses - to his underwear.
Justin was in a similar state of undress, having been on the receiving end of Kevin's talented fingers. Kevin had just moved his hand from cupping Justin's hard, cloth-covered dick to the sides of his underwear, in preparation for removing them, when the phone rang.
Justin didn't seem to pay it any attention, continuing to blithely kiss his soulmate. But Kevin had reluctantly stopped participating as soon as the phone had started ringing. It had brought him to his senses as effectively as a cold shower could. He groaned in frustration.
"Let it ring," Justin advised. He almost didn't bother removing his lips from Kevin's own unresponsive lips to speak.
"I can't," Kevin responded mournfully, placing his hand between their lips and effectively stopping Justin's assault on his mouth. "It's probably the guys wanting to know why I'm not at the Arena yet."
Justin looked crestfallen for a moment, but he knew that Kevin couldn't escape this particular duty, anymore than he could, if their positions were reversed.
"Okay, I understand. You'd better answer the phone."
Kevin smiled at the almost surly tone in Justin's voice, knowing full well that Justin really wasn't as upset as he was making out to be. When Justin smiled back at him, he knew he had been right. He waited patiently while Justin got off the couch, then stood up himself and walked over to his ringing phone. He saw Justin settling himself back down on the couch, still wearing only his underwear, and seemingly unconcerned at his near-nudity.
"Yeah?"
"Kev? It's Brian. Why aren't you here? You're gonna be late."
"Yeah, I know, Bri. I'm gonna leave right now. Okay? I'll see you shortly."
"What happened with Justin?"
"I'll tell you later," Kevin replied, not wanting to get into another discussion with his overly-curious cousin right at that moment. "I'll see if I can convince him to come along," Kevin continued, glancing back at Justin and winking at him. Justin just smiled and shook his head in amusement.
"Oh, okay. I guess we'll see you soon then," Brian said in reply. "'Bye."
"'Bye, Brian."
"Did you really mean it?" Justin asked, jumping in the instant that Kevin had placed the receiver back in its cradle.
"Did I really mean what?" Kevin asked in confusion.
"Did you really mean that I could come along with you tonight?"
Kevin smiled. "Sure. If you really want to come along. And I promise I won't make you sing another duet."
Justin chuckled briefly. "Thanks, Kev. But I think I'll pass this time."
"Why?" Kevin asked, slightly disappointed.
"Because," Justin replied patiently, "you and I would be so wrapped up in ourselves that you won't be able to 'perform' tonight." He wiggled his eyebrows as he said 'perform', and smirked evilly.
"Stop it, you," Kevin chastised, with a big grin on his own face. "Okay, I guess I can see your point. Especially with what you do to me when you're close by." He looked pointedly down at his bulging underwear and could feel Justin's gaze drawn there as well.
"Oh God," Justin mumbled. "Kev, I don't know how long I'll be able to wait before I have to make love to you. Except for the fact that you have to leave right now, I'd jump your bones in a second. It's crazy, isn't it? I've been dreaming of this moment for almost six months, yet I can barely wait a handful of days before we can be together again." He sighed, sadly, before getting up and walking over to Kevin, who hugged him tightly in comfort and kissed the side of his head.
"I know, Just. It's going to be hard to wait, but there are only two more concerts after tonight's, and I'll be back in Orlando before you know it. I promise you that once I'm back, we won't spend a moment apart. I want to make love to you as much as you want to make love to me. It's only going to be a week, Just. We've faced worse during these past few months; I think we'll make it somehow. We'll talk every day, for as long as we need to." Kevin hugged the figure in his arms harder, trying to reassure him that everything would work out okay. "I love you, Justin Randall Timberlake. And now that we're together, I'm not going to allow anything to separate us. I promise you!"
Justin silently nodded his head, overcome with the determination and love he could hear in Kevin's voice. If Boo was that certain that they'd stay together, he would allow himself to be convinced as well. "I know you mean it, Kevin. And I promise to do everything in my power to make you happy. Because I love you too, Kevin Scott Richardson. I've been saying those words to myself for a long time now, but from now on I'll be saying them to you each and every day. You are my angel, Boo. I love you so much."
Kevin pulled back and stared into the glistening eyes of his angel with teary eyes of his own. Inching forward, and happy to see Justin doing the same, he kissed his soulmate with all the love he possessed in his heart.
End - Chapter 17
To be continued...