Chapter 14
I suppose the standard disclaimers apply here. If you're under 18 or object to homosexual content in any fashion, please do not continue to read. The following story is not meant to imply anything about the sexual orientation of any of the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync or anyone else that may be mentioned. Please send any comments, suggestions, quips, and criticisms to kevsstory@aol. com. And a big HI to everyone that wrote to me about the story. I started a branch off story about Lance and Howie that didn't get much of a response, so I've decided to kill that one, maybe. Who knows with me. I may get bored with this one and start it again. =)
Previously.....
'What did you need help looking for?' she asked me after we had walked the mall once to get a feeling where everything was.
'I need to find Kevin something for his birthday. I'm not sure what to get a man that has everything he needs.'
She smiled and nodded in the direction of a store that would be good.
I stopped and looked at her. 'Are you sure?' I asked her.
'Yes, let's go in.'
And Now......
'You know Ann, he's gay but I am not buying him lingerie from Victoria Secret.' I laughed.
'Not THAT store, the one next to it.'
'The jewelry store? Isn't it a bit early for rings?'
'Argh. You can be stubborn you know. As much as I like people like myself, it can get a bit daunting. I meant a nice necklace maybe. Something that he can wear close to him and have him always know that you're with him, even when you're apart.'
'A romantic at heart I sense.'
'Sometimes. Kevin's a good boy. Well, not so much a boy anymore. He's a good man. And I'm proud of him and I'm glad that he's found someone to make him happy. So let's go get him something, ok?'
We looked around the store for about a half an hour and then I found what I thought would be perfect. It was a silver chain. Nothing too flashy. Just something that was nice. Something that he could wear with anything and everything. I'm just hoping he likes it.
'That's perfect. He likes silver. And it's very understated. He'll like that too.' Ann said, looking at my selection.
I paid for the necklace and had it wrapped. I sucked at wrapping gifts. Now I needed a card. Not an easy thing with me. I've spent literally hours shopping for cards before. I just want to read them all to make sure which is the right one to get. I warned Ann, 'Ok. You may want to go back to the hotel and come and get me in like a few hours. I've been known to be in here forever.'
'Tell you what. I still need to do some shopping for the family. I'll come back in say an hour and check on you.'
'Excellent. See you then.'
Well, 2 hours later we finally left the mall and made it back to the hotel. The guys were done practicing and we all ate some lunch/dinner and settled down for the evening.
Howie came to see me about an hour after we all finished dinner.
'Wuzzup D?'
'You got a minute Josh?'
'Anything for my second favorite singer. Sit down.' I said, smiling.
I lost my frown when I saw the look on his face.
'Howie. What's wrong? Is it something with Lance?'
'Yes. I...I...I'm not sure where to begin really. Lance wants us to have sex together and I'm not sure that I'm ready for that. But, I don't want to tell him that because he might think that I don't want him. I'm just not ready to go to that step yet.'
'Then tell him that. You can't start a relationship out on a lie you know.'
'I know...'
'I don't mean to sound preachy really. It's just that, I know what it can feel like to be pressured to do something that you don't want to do. I don't want you to make the same mistake that I made once.'
'And give Lance some more credit that you're giving him. He's a good guy. He'll understand.' I continued.
'Ok. I guess that I should go and talk to him. Thanks for the advice J.' He left after giving me a hug.
(Let's follow Howie shall we.....)
'Lance. Are you here?'
'I'm just changing honey. I'll be out in a minute.'
'I like it when he calls me honey.' Howie thought to himself.
Lance walked out of the bathroom in just some green silk shorts, eliciting a whistle from Howie.
'Damn. I have the finest boyfriend. You should do concerts in just those. I'll bet you'd sell tickets quicker.' Howie said, wrapping his arms around Lance's waist.
'Nah, not unless Justin did it. No one wants to see my half-naked bone white body up there dancing.' Lance replied and sat down on the bed, barely acknowledging Howie's hug.
'Is something wrong Lance? You have this sad look on your face. Did I do something darling?' Howie sat down and grabbed Lance's hands in his.
'No. I'm okay. It's nothing really.' Lance said to the floor.
'Lansten. Look at me.' Well, calling him by his first name didn't work.
'Poo. Please, look at me.' Lance cocked his head and looked at Howie.
'Is this about "us"? And you know what I mean by "us".' Lance looked down again.
'Listen honey. It's not that I don't find you attractive and sexy. Because God knows I want to be all over you all the time.'
'Then why aren't you? I mean not all the time, but we kiss each other good night and you roll over. Then I have to snuggle up against you just to touch you. It's like you don't even want me in bed with you.' Small tears started forming in Lance's eyes.
Howie gathered Lance in his arms and placed his head on his shoulder.
'Is that what you think? Oh God, I'm so sorry. I....I'm just not ready to have sex yet Lance. It's too early for me. We've only been dating for a month or so. I just...I need more time. Can you understand that?' Howie did his best to explain his feelings.
'Why didn't you tell me that? Here I was thinking that you weren't attracted to me. If you're afraid of something happening during the night don't. I'm a big boy and I'll respect your wishes. But, I'm very touchy with the people I love...' Lance's head shot up and he looked Howie in the eye. Lance had said something he didn't intend to say yet.
'You're in love with me? Wow. I mean. WOW. I never knew you felt that way. I mean, I knew you cared about me and all, but Love. Are you sure?' Howie asked, a bit stunned.
'Yes I'm sure. Never been more sure of anything in my life. I know that you're still sorting out your feelings. But, mine were sorted a long time ago. After we started sending emails back and forth and they gradually got less and less about work and more and more just silly notes, I started to really like you. I like your humor, the way that you tell stories, the crazy things that you do sometimes. I like it all. When we finally met again after such a long time of not seeing each other face to face, I just knew that you were the one. So, yes, I do know my feelings and I do know that I love you.' Lance explained.
They sat there for a minute in silence taking it all in.
'Anyway, as I was saying, I get very touchy-feely and I like to be held when I sleep. Can we do that? Will you do that for me?' Lance said, almost pleading.
'Anything for you. I'm sorry I was being so stand-off-ish. I just wasn't giving you enough credit (hey, didn't Josh say that?) I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't intend for it to come out like that. Let's go to bed early so we can catch up on the snuggling.'
No sooner had this escaped Howie's lips, Lance jumped up and kissed him and threw back the covers and hopped into their bed.
'Can I brush my teeth first?' Howie said laughing.
'I suppose. Just hurry. Scoot.' Lance said, smiling from ear to ear.
That night they slept closer than ever before.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch....(ok. there's no ranch but I love that segway..hehehe)
Knock. Knock. Knock.
'Who is it?'
'Josh. It's Joey. Can I come in and talk?'
I opened the door to my favorite Italian 'N Sync man.
'I should get paid for this you know.' I laughed as he came in the door.
'Ok. I'll make this quick and painless. Who do you want me to set you up with?' I asked him sitting down.
'No. It's not that. I'm already seeing someone. That's the problem. No one knows. Well, people think that they know but they don't really "know know" if you know what I mean.' Joey said.
'That's a lot of "know"s in that sentence. So, you and Justin don't want people to know you're dating. Why?' I asked him.
'Justin? Ugh, god no. That young curly-haired freak. He's not my type. Too young and too pretty. It's Chris.'
'I know that. I'm not blind for heaven's sake. But only the trained eye can see it. That and I saw you sneaking out of his room one morning before everyone was awake. And don't ask me why I didn't say anything. It's not my place.' I said, seeing the question forming on his lips.
'It's just that he's not gay. Well, not totally. He says that he likes women more than men and he just wants some companionship during the tour. We've never really had sex. Being naked in bed, kissing and a little groping is as much as we've ever done. Mostly, it's someone familiar to hold onto during the lonely nights.' Joey explained.
'But, you're falling for him eh?' I asked.
'I've already done fallen. Hard. My ass hurts from falling so hard. And pervert, it doesn't hurt from THAT!' Joey smiled at me.
'I wasn't thinking anything. Ok. I was, but it wasn't nice to point it out.' I laughed.
'Ok, so you can do one of three things: one, keep things the way that they are; two, stop it all together and give your feelings some rest, which is easier said than done I know or finally, you can call him on it. Make him either admit he does or doesn't have feelings for you. None of these are pretty options but they're the only ones that I can think of.' I was truly out of ideas for the lovelorn tonight.
We sat and chatted for another hour or so until Kevin came back.
'Replacing me are you?' Kevin said, kissing me on the cheek.
'Not a replacement. Joey's just the stunt double. In case things get out of hand.' I laughed.
'Nice to see you Joe, been entertaining my man here?' Kevin said, sitting down on the sofa.
'Hey Kevin. Nah, I was just dragging some advice out of him. He's a great listener. Well, I suppose that bed is calling me. Night you two.' Joey got up and walked toward the door. 'Oh and Josh, I'm going for option #3. I need to know.'
'Night Joey. Good luck.' I sighed and sat back in my chair and closed my eyes.
'Another fun night?' Kevin said, rubbing my thigh.
'Do I have Dr. Joyce Brothers tattooed on my forehead somewhere?' I asked him.
Kevin laughed and hugged me. I sighed and let myself mold into his chest. I loved this man.
'Let's go to bed. I have a surprise for you.' I said, getting up to get ready for bed.
'Ooooooh. Is it a good surprise?' he said, moving his eyebrows up and down quickly.
'Silly man. The point of a surprise is to be surprised. I can't tell you. Now I'm gonna shower and get ready for bed. But, I'm having trouble with my back today. I might need help washing it. I wonder who I can get to help me.' I stood in the doorway and watched him sprint past me into the bathroom. In a blur the shower was running and he was naked. I stared at him and smiled.
'What? You don't need to ask twice you know. Let's go. I'm getting cold standing here naked.'
I stripped and followed him into the shower. We showered (and did some other things) and eventually got out and dressed for bed.
I made Kevin get into bed first and close his eyes. I was giving him his birthday present early. I can't stand having gifts wrapped and just lying around.
'Okay. I know it's not for a while yet. But I wanted to give you these.' I handed him the cards and the gift. Yes, I said cards. Ok, so I got 5 of them. Hallmark loves me, what can I say.
'Happy Birthday Boo.'
'Baby. It's not for like 6 weeks yet. Why so early? Not that I'm complaining.' He said, smiling from ear to ear.
'Well, I went shopping with your mom and I hate having wrapped gifts around and I can never hide anything from you so I thought that I'd spring with it now. Besides, this way I'll prolly end up buying you something else when the true day comes. You know....the big 30 and all.' I slowly sat back as I said this to let it register.
'AAAAAAAAAAAAh. I am not going to be 30!!! That was uncalled for. Scoot closer to me so that I can kiss that grin off your face.'
'Nuh uh. I'm not moving until you open card #1. Then maybe I'll get closer.'
He opened the card and read it. Tears came to his eyes. I really didn't expect him to react like that. I didn't know what to say (for once in my life).
'J....that is the sweetest, most loving, most...words escape me.... birthday card that anyone has ever given me. I love you.'
'I love you too.' Now I moved closer for a kiss. Silly stupid me for letting my guard down. He kissed me and then belted me with a pillow.
'The kiss was because I love you. The pillow was because I love you and for aging me too much.'
I suppose I deserved the pillow.
Kevin finished reading the rest of the cards and we laughed at them like fools. They were all funny, silly cards. Now came the present.
'Partial blame goes to Ann if you don't like it.'
'I'm sure I'll love it.'
He opened the box and smiled. He undid the clasp and put it on. It looked good against his bare chest.
'I'll always be near even when I'm not. I love you like nothing else in this world.'
'I've got my man. Now I've got jewelry. All that's left is some sex and my night is complete.' I couldn't help but laugh at his little statement.
Saying we made love that night wouldn't be accurate. We fucked. There was nothing sweet and innocent and nice about it. We were both in a feisty mood and we let it show. I let him take control and be in charge that night. There were barely any covers left on the bed and sometime during the night, I remember being bent over the various pieces of furniture in our hotel room. (Aint that a pretty image! lol) The place looked like a tornado hit it and when the guys called for breakfast the next morning, we suggested any place but our room.
My legs were still a bit wobbly when I walked into Joey and Chris' room for breakfast and I had noticeable trouble keeping my legs together. (You try having them spread for hours on end and see how quickly yours spring back.) Of course, no one let this go unseen and the laughter lasted forever it seemed. I think that the color in my face did too. Kevin came in a few minutes later to catcalls and applause. He looked at me and I simply smiled.
'Hey. It's not MY fault I'm walking funny today you big hunk of man.' I'm not going to be the only one embarrassed.
'Well, I'm good. What can I say!' Kevin said, turning and grabbing some food.
Damn. He wasn't even remotely embarrassed.
I looked around the room and noticed some good things. Lance and Howie were closer than ever it seemed. And Chris was whispering to a grinning Joey. Yeah for me being able to read lips.
(Chris to Joey)
'I want to tell them now. They'll be good with it. Look at how they handled everyone else.'
(Joey to Chris)
'I'm all for it. They'll treat us the same.'
(Chris to Joey)
'OK. Here goes.'
'Umm. Guys.' Chris spoke up so that everyone could hear.
'I have something to tell you all.' he continued.
'Where have we heard this one before?' JC laughed.
Justin smacked him in the arm and shushed him.
'Sorry. I was only kidding.' JC said, rubbing his arm.
All eyes now focused on Chris.
'Uh, yeah. Where to begin? Err. It's like this. I've been..no. That's not right. OK, it's like this...the 5 of us (meaning 'Nsync for you readers out there) have been together for a long time. You're my family. I love you all like brothers. Except one of you. One of you I love more than that, deeper than that. One of you captured my heart without me even knowing it. And I was too stupid to see that until I was made to see it, until it was almost taken away from me.'
'Chris. I'm confused. What're you hinting at?' Lance said from Howie's lap.
'God he is blond' I thought to myself.
'What I'm trying to say is that I'm in love with Joey. (This of course elicits some gasps from the other guys) I've never thought about another man in that way except for him. I'm not sure how to explain this. I don't even look at other guys. No man has ever or will ever, turn my head and my heart the way that he has. If he weren't in my life, I'd be dating a woman and men wouldn't get a second glance. God. I'm not explaining this clearly and I'm babbling.'
Chris walked over to Joey and smiled at him. Little did everyone know that I knew what was about to happen. God I love being on the inside of the scoops. Chris came to talk to me a day before Joey had. So I knew everything before talking with Joey. But, I couldn't let on that I knew, could I?
What Chris did next brought tears streaming down my face as well as the faces of everyone else in the room.
Joey sat in his chair mesmerized by Chris' words as Chris bent down on one knee in front of him. 'Joey. My bear bear. My love. The joy and the love that you bring into my life is more than one man deserves. You mean more to me than I'll ever be able to say or show.' Chris was crying at this point in time. He choked back the tears and continued, 'I want everyone here, our closest friends and loved ones to share this with us. I know that you thought that I was just going to tell them about us. That we're in love. But, I wanted them to be here when I give you this.'
He took out a small velvet box from his pocket. He opened the box facing Joey and the tears started falling down his face.
'I love you with all my heart. Joseph. Will you be mine forever? Will you marry me? Will you do me the honor of having the greatest man in the world be by my side for life?'
Joey sat there and just stared at the ring of gold. So perfect and so round. Everyone was sitting slack jawed watching the scene before them. Even I was a little taken aback at Chris' words. His love for Joey was deeper than I had imagined.
'I....I don't know what to say. I certainly wasn't prepared for this. I was expecting something totally different to come out of your mouth.' Joey said, still staring at the ring Chris held in front of him.
'Christopher, you mean more to me than my own life. I'd gladly give it up to know that you'd be safe. I look at the tear-stained faces of our friends and I realize just what it took for you to tell them these things, for you to say them to me.' Joey continued. Chris dropped his head and stared at the floor, expecting a 'but' to come from Joey's mouth next.
'Yes. I'll be yours for as long as you'll have me. Nothing in this world would or could make me happier. You fill a void in my life that I never thought would be filled.' Joey lifted Chris' face to his and kissed him. Chris slipped the gold band on Joey's hand and smiled at him.
Good place to end??? =)
OK...I promise no more coupling in the stories. They can't all be gay!!
Oh, and don't expect any big cliffhangers. The 'Someone getting shot and ending up in the hospital', type endings won't appear here. I love cliches as much as the next person, but come on.
There is conflict a brewing though. Just you wait and see....Muuuuuhahahahahahaha.
Tata for now........write me and tell me how much you hated/liked this chapter. It's a little different style than previously. Kevsstory@aol.com