*This story contains gay erotica in it, if you are averse to such things you shouldn't read further. If you are under the age of consent in your area you should leave this site. If you are not going to listen to me, I'm assuming no liability for your actions.
*I retain all copyrights for this work, but I'm giving consent for this story to be placed only in an archive that charges no access fee (including AVS) and that the text stays exactly as I've written here. Individuals may keep a copy of this story for their own personal use.
*In addition I'm giving consent for this story to be reposted in the newsgroup alt.sex.stories.gay.moderated only, and that the text remains exactly as printed here and that the poster does not claim originality of the work.
*This is entirely a work of fiction, the characters do not exist to the best of my knowledge. These characters are created purely as a work of fiction and should be treated as such. Any similarity between these characters and real life people is unintentional.
Lacrosse Lover Chapter 5
By Mark (BostonBiGuy) some1yuno@hotmail.com
I woke up with my dick still pressed into Rob's ass. My hips had been grinding into him of their own volition. My boxers no longer separated our bodies - it seemed my cock had decided to liberate itself and was now pressing against his flesh through the fly. It took significant effort for me to stop my hips from their rhythm - my mind knew this was risky but my body didn't care. I tried to fall asleep but my raging hardon would let that happen. Being so close to Rob had me turned on and sleep was impossible. I slid my arm out from under Rob, standing up to get out of bed. I pulled a blanket out of the closet and laid it out on the floor. I grabbed another blanket down to use as a pillow and pulled an extra sheet out for cover.
I slipped my boxers off then lay down on the blankets and wrapped my hand around my dick. As turned on as I'd been it only took a few strokes for me to shoot cum all over myself. I stood up walking over to the desk grabbing a few tissues to clean myself off. I pulled my boxers back on then lay back down on the pallet pulling the sheet over me.
I lay on my makeshift bed thinking about how close I'd been to Rob. How close I'd come to ending up in bed with Chris tonight. I wasn't sure what I wanted, I didn't know if it was just the alcohol or what buy my mind was spinning. Chris was a nice guy, a great guy really - he was cute, he had a great looking ass, a nice smile, he was friendly and had a good sense of humor. Even more than all of that though he was interested in me. My infatuation with Rob had kept me from taking advantage of the situation.
I had no idea how Rob felt, or if he was even interested in me. I felt like we were dancing around each other in a long complex pattern. I didn't know the steps to the dance - hell, I didn't even know for certain if I was dancing with anyone else or if it was all just in my mind. A wise person would most certainly try to step away from it all. Avoid the hurt and the pain, distancing myself from my emotions. I was hardly wise though - I felt like a total fool, but I wasn't really in control. It would have been so much easier if I could get a clear sign from Rob.
Part of me just wanted to ask him, to tell him how I felt, to just let go of my emotional barriers and relieve the pressure that threatened to destroy me. Of course another part worried about losing him by telling him. What if he wasn't interested? What if he was homophobic? If I told him there'd certainly be no going back to just friends. We could never share the friendly intimacy we have now. I'd be lucky if he even spoke to me after that.
But what if he was interested? We could be together, we could be closer than we already are. The problem was I didn't know how he felt, I had no idea how he'd react and I didn't want to gamble our friendship that I enjoyed so much on the small chance that we could have a relationship together. Though I didn't think I could continue to put myself through this kind of torture much longer - maybe the answer was to try to distance myself a bit from my feelings. I knew I couldn't block them completely, but perhaps just a bit of distance would help.
It might be best for me to avoid putting myself into situations of torture. I think it'd be best to avoid staying with Rob again for a while. Maybe I could talk to Chris as well - I didn't think I wanted a relationship with him, maybe I wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone. But a friendship with Chris couldn't hurt, it would help to have someone to talk to, maybe it could go further than just a friendship.
I looked over at Rob. He was still sound asleep, not even moved from where he was when I got out of bed. I gave a sigh watching him lying there, wanting to be back up there with him, of course I knew what would happen if I did. I watched him breathing slowly, sleeping peacefully. My eyelids began to droop as I began to fall asleep again.
"Ugh!" I groaned, something had woken me up, definitely before my body was ready to be awake. I could feel someone shaking my shoulder.
"Charles man, wake up."
It was Rob calling. I wanted to just ignore him and roll back over and go back to sleep, but of course I couldn't.
"All right, all right. What do you want?"
"Well I wanted you to wake up. Now that you're awake I want to know if I can borrow a towel and some soap to get a shower."
"Yeah sure." I stood up pulling the sheet off and walked over to the closet. "Ok, here you go."
"Well I wanted you to get me a towel, but I didn't expect you to be up."
My brain was too slow for his teasing today. I was surprised he was so awake, especially considering how trashed he'd been yesterday. "What do you mean?"
"Just what I said, I didn't expect you to be up." He said pointing to the tent in the front of my boxers. "Most people aren't usually that happy to see me when I wake them up."
"Go have your shower jackass." I might have been able to come up with something better to say but I needed some caffeine and some Advil before I was up to that level. Rob slid off his boxers and I noticed that his dick was almost hard - most likely from a full bladder like mine was, though his had some time to go down, whereas mine had not.
He wrapped the towel around his waist and took the soap with him to the bathroom. I got another towel out of the closet for myself and took off my boxers, letting them fall into the pile of clothes on the floor. I wrapped the towel around my waist securing my cock so that it wouldn't tent the front and headed down the hallway with the rest of my shower stuff. I headed over to a urinal first so that I could relieve the pressure on my bladder.
Taking that piss was such a relief. I stayed at the urinal for a bit longer than I needed to, so that my hardon could have a chance to shrink down a bit. I went into the showers and took the one next to Rob's.
"So sleeping beauty finally wakes."
"Yeah, not like I had much choice in the matter though."
"Sorry about that, but I really needed to have a shower. I always feel so scummy when I wake up after having been partying."
"It's ok, I understand. Besides I needed to get up anyway, I've got to do laundry today."
"Yeah me too. Hey why don't you come over? We've got a washer and dryer at the apartment and it beats having to use the machines around here."
"Yeah, ok," so much for not putting myself into any more of these situations. Of course I could resist him.
"Cool. We can sit around and watch TV or something while the machine is going."
"Can I have my soap now?"
"Yeah, sure. Can I borrow some shampoo?"
"Yeah, here you go."
The more I watched him the more I wanted him. Just seeing him there naked made me desire him. It wasn't going to be easy to try to get my feelings under control being around him. Especially being around him twice a day swimming and at practice. I should start cutting down the number of days that I swam with him, that might help. I couldn't avoid him on the team, but I could try to avoid the time at the pool. Although I still wanted to be friends with him, and if I just suddenly stop going to the pool in the mornings it'll look suspicious so I'll just start going fewer days. Just missing a day every so often at first, then maybe get it down to swimming only two days a week by the end.
I shut off the water and took my towel and started drying off. Rob did the same. I gathered together my shower stuff and wrapped the towel back around my waist. I stopped in front of a sink and looked in the mirror. I combed my hair into place, then handed Rob the comb so he could take care of his. I put the comb away and got out my toothbrush.
"Can I have some mouthwash. That'll have to do until I get back to my place and can brush my teeth."
"Sure no problem," I said handing him the mouthwash.
"Scope: for kissably clean breath."
"Yeah," I shoved the toothbrush into my mouth and started brushing. I'd love to find out if his breath was kissably clean, even if all he'd had was mouthwash.
Rob finished rinsing and spit the mouthwash into the sink. He then headed out the door for my room. I spit out the excess toothpaste then had some of the mouthwash myself. Rinsing away the toothpaste. I put everything up and returned to my room where Rob had already dressed in the clothes he'd loaned me yesterday. He was gathering his clothes from the night before off my floor.
I went over to my dresser and pulled out some clothes to wear and got dressed fairly quickly. Rob's playful mood when he had awakened me had turned suddenly somber - possibly my somewhat sour mood had dulled him, or maybe last night was catching up to him.
"Gather up your laundry stuff and we'll head out to my car."
"Ok."
I started to get everything together, I wished he'd say something. I know I was thinking of limiting our time together but the silence was killing me. I wondered what had happened - maybe I'd offended him in some way.
"Do you mind if I check my email?"
"No, go ahead."
"Ok, how do I use this thing. Your laptop is a lot different from my roommate's."
I went over and got the laptop booted up, then showed him how to get to his mail. Being in the dorms I had an ethernet connection, which was a lot faster than the modem connection his roommate probably used. He sat there checking his mail, quietly looking through it while I continued to gather my stuff.
"Ok, I'm ready."
"Just one more minute. ok, I'm done here. Now how do you shut this thing off?"
I walked over to shut the computer off. Briefly catching sight of an email before closing down the mail program. I was only able to read one line before it closed: "So how are things with your new lover?" I had no idea who it was from, but I knew that it didn't mean good news for my fantasies. Obviously Rob was seeing someone or at least had started to see someone, and that person wasn't me. I shut down my laptop closing the lid and grabbing my stuff.
"Here let me help you with some of that. I'll just throw my stuff in with it since our clothes will be going into the machine together anyway."
"Thanks." I tried to sound somewhat cheerful, but I wasn't really in the mood to be. I guess I finally had my answer, although I now wish I didn't. At least I still had his friendship, although that might end up hurting me more - as a close friend I'd probably get the opportunity to see Rob and his lover on numerous occasions. I locked my door as I went out.
The trip to Rob's apartment was quiet like it had been earlier. I didn't really know what to say. All I could think about was that one line on the computer screen haunting my memory. That line burned into my mind like a brand. An inner voice kept goading me, taunting and torturing me. Berating me for ever daring to dream that Rob and I could somehow be together. Well I had set myself up for this - I'd known all along what could happen, but I did it anyway.
We arrived at Rob's place, and took my stuff out of the car taking it up to his apartment. We took everything into the laundry room and Rob went back to his bedroom to grab his stuff. We were still barely talking as we sorted the clothing. After we sorted Rob began to load some clothes into the washer. Rob picked up a pair of boxers, the boxers that I had picked up from the locker room.
"Huh, that's strange. "I began to hold my breath, afraid of what he might say next. "I haven't seen these in a long time. I guess they must have been mixed up in some of my other stuff."
I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He thought they'd been mixed up here and not at my dorm somehow. I was reluctant to explain the situation had he reached that conclusion. We started up the washer and then went into the living room to sit down in front of the TV.
As we watched TV the conversation began to liven up a bit. We were a bit more jovial in our discussion, although a lot of it was forced on my part. I really didn't have the heart to joke with him all that much - but I didn't want him to think anything was strange, otherwise he might start asking questions I didn't want to answer. The washing machine finished and I stood up telling Rob that I'd put the next load of clothes in.
I loaded the washed load into the dryer and dumped another load of clothes into the washer starting it up. I went back into the living room sitting in the chair opposite him. Rob was looking through a magazine; I just kinda stared at the TV. This was almost insane; it'd never been like today, we had always been able to talk. What made today so different?
A lot of things made it different. I had pushed him away since last night, it may not have been intentional - I didn't really want to push him away, at least not all at once. I certainly didn't want to lose his friendship. It seemed like I'd screwed up - I didn't even know exactly what I'd done that had caused him to be so distant. Of course it probably had to do with me being distant to him in the first place.
Yesterday it was like we were best friends, and today. today we could hardly speak a few sentences together. Maybe he saw something on the computer and realized I was gay. Maybe it was because of rubbing my dick into his ass. I was asleep and I thought he was, but suppose he was awake. He must have realized that I was aware of what I'd been doing when I got up out of the bed and lay on the floor then beat off. Everything must have suddenly come together for him - although he didn't really act any different in the shower, which he certainly would have if he'd figured out I was gay and that upset him.
Then what was it? Maybe I'm needlessly obsessing about this. We were both out very late last night and we were both hung over. We were probably just tired. This could all just be in my head. There wasn't really much to talk about. I mean most of the time when we were together we hadn't really talked all that much. I mean we spent time at the pool where we weren't talking - we could just be friends and share in the companionship without having to talk. Of course this seemed somewhat different from that silence - I almost felt like I was on the opposite side of a glass wall from Rob.
I could see him easily, but there was a forced separation. The distance seemed almost negligible until you approached the wall and found it to be impermeable. Part of me didn't want that wall there, I wanted to be able to be close to him. Another part of me told me that the wall was there for my own good - it would make me keep some distance and avoid getting my heart broken.
That part voiced its beliefs like a parent lecturing a child. "You can still be friends. You're almost right next to him. It's just a little piece of glass separating you two. You may not like that glass but it is good for you. It will protect you."
Overwhelmingly though I felt like more like the child, less concerned with my safety. I was only concerned about being able to have my freedom. As so often happens though, the parent overruled the child and the wall remained. The child part could stamp his foot and scream and yell - he could throw a tantrum that shook the walls of the room - but could not have his way.
A buzz from the laundry room disturbed my thoughts. Rob jumped up from the sofa.
"I'll throw the next load in," he said, heading towards the washer.
Rob came back from the laundry room carrying two baskets; one that was full and one empty - presumably so we could separate our clothes. Rob dumped the clothes on the floor between us and set the basket I had brought next to my chair. I reached in to start picking out and folding up my clothes. We both finished folding and went back to watching TV and being silent until the next load of clothes was ready. I went to grab this load while Rob stayed in the living room.
I loaded the last load of clothes into the dryer and took the dried clothes out the living room where we repeated our earlier ritual. Rob grabbed the last load of clothing from the dryer when it finished and we carried out the sorting and folding again.
After all the clothes were taken care of Rob said "Let me get my stuff put up and I'll give you a lift back to your dorm."
"Ok, thanks. No rush."
It was only a couple of minutes before Rob returned to the living room. "Ok let's go."
The drive back to my dorm was short and very quiet. As we neared the building he said "Can you get everything up to your room by yourself?"
"I think so." He watched me attempt to juggle two large and heavy baskets of clothes.
"Sure you don't need any help."
"Uh. yeah guess I could use a hand." He smiled and grabbed one of the baskets. We carried my clothes up to my room.
"Where do you want these?"
"Just set them on the bed, I'll take care of them. I need to go piss first."
"Yeah me too."
We traveled down the hallway to the bathroom. I headed to one of the urinals and he went to one somewhat near mine. We only stayed in there for a minute though - just long enough to take care of a necessary bodily function. I zipped up and went to leave the bathroom right about the time that Rob did. Outside the bathroom Rob said "So I guess I'll see you at the pool tomorrow morning."
I had to stop for a second deciding what to say. "I don't think so. I've got an exam in one of my classes tomorrow morning and I should probably study for it instead."
"Ok that's cool." There was a strange undertone to his voice - I wasn't certain but it sounded almost like disappointment.
"But I'll see you at practice tomorrow afternoon."
"Ok, see you at practice." He turned and walked down the hallway to head back out to his car. I turned and went back to my room.
I took the clothes off my bed and lay down on it for a few minutes. I couldn't help but remember lying in it with Rob last night. The feeling of his body against mine had been wonderful, though it hadn't lasted. I wished that he could be in here with me now - but of course he couldn't. I lay for a few more minutes before I got out of the bed and began to put my clothes away.
My body was running on autopilot as I placed the clothes in the drawers. My mind was almost blank as my body went through the motions. It wasn't until I noticed a pair of dirty boxers in with my clothes. Rob's boxers that he'd worn the night before. I could easily tell that they hadn't been washed. The wrinkles in them clearly proved that - as did the scent when I held them up to my nose. It appears that I had a replacement for the pair of boxers that had found their way back to him accidentally.
I wondered how they'd gotten in there. The clothesbasket had been empty before we began sorting the clothes. It didn't seem possible that they could have gotten in there accidentally, not with the clean clothes. There must be some other possibility.
Maybe Rob had put them there intentionally while I'd been in the laundry room. If he had put them there intentionally, the next thing to ask was: "Why did he put them there?"
Maybe he put them there as a test. Maybe he was trying to find out if I really was gay. It was possible that he suspected I was and wanted to be certain. But if he did want to know for certain if I was gay, why did he want to know. Was he gay and trying to find out if I was? Or was he the opposite, a very homophobic guy testing to see if I'm straight?
I didn't know. I could find no answer to my questions. I had nothing to go on beyond speculation. I didn't even know for certain that the boxers had been planted there intentionally by him. It could have just been an accident - just a random event. Maybe it was fate's way of tempting and torturing me even more. What to do with the boxers then?
I could give them back and say they got in there accidentally. Of course another pair of his boxers had already appeared mysteriously. A second pair that just happened to be in my clothes might seem suspicious. That was only if it happened accidentally. If he put them there intentionally then that would let him know that I was 'straight.' Although if he were gay and interested that would be the wrong signal for me to send him - but if he were homophobic that would prove that I was straight, I could pass his test and our friendship could continue.
I could also keep them. Just because I was trying to detach my feelings for him didn't mean that he couldn't continue to be a jack-off fantasy for me. If they fell in by accident then he might not notice they're missing. If he set them there intentionally that might give the wrong signal depending on his intentions for putting them there.
I really only had one choice in the matter. I'd have to keep the boxers, and pretend I'd never found them. If he asked about them I could always check and then find them. He'd most likely ask about them if he'd planted them there. Or if he just noticed them missing and they fell in by accident. If he did ask at some time in the future I might know more about what the correct choice to make is. I guess that settles it then - the boxers will have to be kept.
I finished out the rest of my day just taking care of what I needed to do then went to be. My rest was uncomfortable and I found myself tossing and turning most of the night. My mind kept dwelling on the many possibilities of everything. My dreams were disturbed - to say the least - by the visions I'd been having. I paced the floor at times in my restlessness trying to get some peace, but I found none. I finally gave up on trying to sleep and went down to the pool to try to get in a few laps hoping that might make me feel better.
It was well before the time when Rob would arrive so I thought I was safe. The water felt great on my body as I jumped in. It took several minutes for my muscles to loosen up and once they had I began to swim across the pool. My mind finally became quiet as I was swimming. I was thinking about nothing other than the water around me and my body as it moved. It was the only peace I'd had in a while and it was bliss.
I became so involved in my swimming that I didn't even notice Rob's entrance. I paid no attention to his presence at all until he was in the water right next to me - interrupting the trance induced by my movements.
"Oh. hey"
"I thought you weren't going to be coming down here."
"I wasn't but I couldn't sleep very well so I came down to the pool early to try and get in a few laps. I thought it might help wake me up before my exam."
"Yeah, it might wake you up. but this will wake you up even more."
Before I had the chance to wonder what he meant or even take in a breath my head was under the water. Our old game of dunking each other in the pool. I managed to break free of him and rise up to the surface. Rob had a smile on his face as he watched me sputter for breath.
"Bitch!"
"Asshole!" I hadn't lost his friendship. I was thankful for that, as I'd been determined not to lose him as a friend. I might not be able to have him as a lover but I would still have him as a friend and that was important to me.
"I'd love to stay and dunk you back, but I do need to go study."
"Sure you do wuss." He jumped on my back as I turned pushing me under again.
He had a better grip on me this time and I had to struggle a lot more to get away. Finally I managed to pull my way back to the surface. He was back on me again, but this time I had a plan.
As soon as he was on me I said, "Hey watch it man. My bladder's full and much more of this and. oh. ah. that's better."
He jumped away from me. "Oh my god, tell me you didn't just piss on me. That's so disgusting."
I climbed out of the pool laughing. "No I didn't piss on you - but I am going to pay you back for dunking me later on."
"Fucker!"
I shook my hips in an obscene manner, "You know it."
"Oh get the hell out of here." He was smiling as he said it.
I turned to walk to the locker room energized by the knowledge that we were still friends. I only stepped in the shower long enough to rinse the chlorine off my body since I'd be showering at the dorm in a few minutes anyway. I dressed quickly and then headed out by the pool doors.
As I went past the pool Rob yelled at me, "Good luck on the exam."
"Thanks." I felt bad about lying to him but that was the only excuse I could think of last night. I'm glad we did meet up today anyway though. I was happy to be friends with him again and it did a lot to ease my mind.
I was walking along campus when I saw Chris sitting under a tree and decided to approach him.
"How's it going?"
"Uhh.ok I guess."
"Do you mind if we go somewhere kinda private and talk.
Well that's it for Chapter 5. As always comments are welcomed at some1yuno@hotmail.com or drop by the website at http://bbg.webjump.com The site is still undergoing renovation, I've had a few snags in getting everything set up so I decided to put out another chapter due to all the emails I've had begging for the next chapter. For those who are wondering there is quite a bit more to come in this story, I'm guessing there will probably be about 7 or 8 chapters but there could be more than that depending on how creative I am and what the characters decide to do.