Welcome to "Lance's Search," a multi-chapter exploration of a young man discovering himself. As much as I would suspect otherwise, I have no actual proof of the sexual orientations of Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake or JC Chasez. Consequently anything you read in this story is the product of the mind of its author. That said, this story attempts to take a realistic look into the thoughts and feelings of a guy as he discovers the pains and the joys associated with loving his fellow man... or his fellow band mate as the case may be.
A couple of comments to throw in quickly. 1) I just started reading a couple of weeks ago the story Nick and the Altos. If you are a fan of Nick Carter stories, you definitely want to check that one out. 2) I'm extremely happy about the reappearance of the story of Lance and Michael, under the title Michael's Quest. Hurrah!
If you have any comments about this Lance-based tale, please e-mail them to bjluver@gay.com. Otherwise, enjoy the story.
BJ
Previously on Lance's Search...
"Look, I don't know for sure whether JC has the hots for you or not, but when you combine the fact that he has no idea you're gay with the type of guys he seems to prefer, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that he's interested," Justin told Lance.
There was a short pause in the boys' conversation. Lance was looking off into space. Justin was looking at Lance. He wasn't really thrilled about trying to be the matchmaker between Lance and JC, but it just seemed so logical, so right. It might feel right, but Justin couldn't escape the feeling that his own life was becoming a little bit empty.
"I'm scared, Justin."
"I know you are. If you weren't I'd be surprised."
Then the doorbell rang. Justin and Lance looked at each other. Justin shook his head and motioned for Lance to go open the door. The same door Lance had opened countless times. Yet Justin knew it was, at the same time, an entirely new door... at least for Lance.
Chapter 22
The doorbell rang again as Lance made his way to the door. He checked himself in the mirror on the way. He was OK with the way he looked.
As he reached for the doorknob, there were some butterflies in his stomach, but also a big smile on his face. He opened the door, looked up and...
"Joey?"
"Hey man, don't be so excited to see me."
"Sorry, Joe. Come on in. You just weren't who I was expecting."
"Who were you expecting?"
"Hey, Joey!" Justin yelled from the other room. "Get in here man."
"I'm coming already. JC or Chris here yet?"
"What?" Lance replied. "JC? Chris?"
"Yeah, JC called said to meet him here, that we'd all be at your place."
"He did?"
"Ohhh. Looks like he didn't let you know about the plan. I thought you knew," Joey said as he headed off to the living room to join Justin.
Lance was a bit dumbfounded. He hadn't realized JC was inviting everyone over. The butterflies gave way to an emptiness in Lance's stomach. He popped his head into the living room and told the guys he had some unfinished business in the bathroom and would be right back. Justin had a look of concern, but didn't want to tip Joey off about it.
Lance headed to his bathroom, shut the door and looked at himself in the mirror. How could he be so dumb? Why did he possibly think that JC would be coming over by himself? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Justin has been imagining things. "How could JC really want me?" Lance tried to compose himself. He took several deep breaths. "OK, James, let's go out there and act like a host."
Returning to his living room, he found JC and Chris had already arrived. "Hey guys," Lance said. "Good to have you back in town, JC. How long you been here?"
"In town or at your place?"
"Here."
"Just a couple of minutes. Chris drove me. Oh, we picked up some biscuits. Hopefully there's some left after Justin and Joey got to them."
"Thanks, JC." More negative thoughts crept into Lance's mind, but he did his best not to let it show. "Can I get anything for anyone?"
Drink orders were made all around and Lance headed to the kitchen. Justin volunteered to help and followed his bandmate.
"You OK?" Justin whispered to Lance.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little disappointed, that's all."
"Hang in there, guy. I know I'm right about this one."
"We'll see."
The five spent the rest of the morning mixing business with pleasure, catching up with each other on what they've been doing the past few days. They would be resuming rehearsals later in the week, and getting ready for the new album. Not all the songs were quite ready and final decisions on what to use and not use had yet to be made.
Lance's business side masked whatever he might be feeling deep inside. He was fully engaged in the discussions. To the untrained eye, nothing looked different about Lance. But Justin could see it. He saw the quick glances Lance would give JC, quickly averting his eyes as if he was afraid he might get caught. JC, meanwhile, had more life in him than he had during the past few weeks of the tour when he seemed to isolate himself from the others. Justin wasn't sure exactly how to interpret the mood change - whether it was the week away from everyone else or the previous day's liaison with the escort or something entirely different.
As the clock moved on past noon, the topic of lunch naturally came up. Lance offered to fire up the grill by the pool.
"Better idea," JC said. "How about we do that tonight? We can get some steaks and other food and have a quiet, peaceful night here."
"Peaceful? With a pool? In your dreams, JC," Chris said.
Despite that, everyone agreed to the evening plan, counting on the outside weather to be a bit nicer then. They would all tackle lunch on their own, go home and come back ready to swim and eat.
"Hey, Scoop. Seeing as I suggested it, how about I go with you to the store?"
"Sure. Thanks, man." A smile crept back onto Lance's face.
"Chris, go on without me. I'm going to help out Lance."
"Oh. Forgot. I'll need to go home for my trunks."
"Don't worry about it, JC," Justin interjected. "I'll bet Lance has some trunks you could use."
Lance gave Justin a death stare, but didn't say anything immediately.
"That would be great, if it's OK with Lance," JC said.
"Yeah. I'm sure I can find you something."
"OK then. Let's head for the grocery store," JC said.
With that, the guys all filed out Lance's front door and agreed on a time to return. Justin whispered to Lance. "Watch yourself." Then he made tracks for his car before Lance could respond either verbally or physically.
"You want to stop off somewhere for lunch on the way?" JC asked Lance.
"How about we hit a drive-up window and head for a park?"
"Good idea, buddy. Let's roll."
To be continued...