Subject Last Chance
Copyright 2016 by the author. For private use. oldtxsub@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: For adults only. Not for minors. Delete if illegal in your jurisdiction. This is a work of fiction. Just my fantasy. Author's note: Comments and suggestions most welcome.
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I knew I was asking for trouble when I answered the email. But, down deep it was I wanted out of my lonely existence and I knew what I needed. My years of denial to finally confront my real needs and desires. It hadn't been alone though it had been a journey over the internet in email and chat. I was 52 divorced, broke and living alone. The devastating but not a surprise, she hated me and I hated her. Well she did love my money since she took all of it with her. I was happy to be divorced from her but not happy with my situation. Friends had tried to get me to go out but they all reminded me of her and that was the last thing I wanted, to spend any more time with a female. I was lonely but for one thing, the one thing I really missed from my childhood. The one thing I had tried so hard to suppress and deny. I liked Men – I was sexually attracted to men- strong men – men who dominated and controlled me.
It began when I was 14. My Mom was single, Dad had disappeared and left Mom, me and my sister alone. Mom had a good job working for a group of Doctors. She was attractive and started dating soon after Dad left. I guess she was serious because she would send my sister and I off on Friday night and pick us up late Sunday. My sister went to stay with her best friend. Mom had me stay with one of the single Doctors she worked with. He had to be the best looking Man I have ever seen. He looked like actor and a body builder. I will never know if Mom knew, I think she did, but he was gay. Not only gay but especially fond of boys. Boys like me, shy, small and immature. I was all of that - small for my age, shy and physically and emotionally immature. I hated school e Especially gym and I was always getting picked on by stronger boys. Almost once a week I ran crying to the office to get away from some bully. I guess Mom thought I needed a strong male influence in my life. I doubt that Mom knew how strong that influence was and where it would lead. Either way it led me to discover what I was and what I craved. I craved and needed the physical love of and domination of a man. I was, and know I am, gay. Not only am I gay I am a bottom a submissive, I am into pain and humiliation and anything that my Master wants. It is not something that I knew back then – it is what I learned or was taught by Dr. Ben. It was Dr. Ben who helped me discover my true being as he led me into his world. He taught me my position at his feet, that my role is to give pleasure to real men, that pain is pleasure, and that only through giving myself to my superiors can I be who I am.
But I digress. It was almost 40 years ago that Dr. Ben was done with me. He literately kicked me out. I was growing older and more physically mature, not much to his tastes' for immature boys. The worse day was the one when he brought home his new boy and made me watch as he broke him in to my previous role. I cried as I saw him enter the boy and breed him like he had done to me some many times. I knew my time was over. It was then until now I suppressed who I was. I was ashamed and lost because Dr. Ben rejected me. I decided to try to live the straight life. I dated – had sex with women and finally married. For all of the years I tried to suppress my desires. But I lived a fantasy life, adult book stores, magazines and finally the gay erotica world on the internet. It was the stories on Nifty that brought me back to the excitement I had known. I could live the life I wanted as a fantasy in the gay/authoritarian stories. Finally, I progressed to needing more – I discover cybersex, online camera with other Men. That was my downfall. She caught me. I was naked jacking off to the image of another guy on line – he was yelling at me calling me a faggot – ordering me to jack off for him and to eat my cum. I gladly obeyed, but didn't know she watched it all, and recorded it on her phone. That was it she finally had me. The divorce and my money and house went quick, I was in no position to complain unless I wanted the school and my friends to see the video. I was a professor at a prestigious school, that certainly would not have wanted anything to do with a pervert. She threw me out that night and here I am living in a small one room efficiency, still teaching most of my money goes to lawyers and her. I didn't even have a TV. But I did have the internet. Through it I discovered sites like silverdaddies, squirt, bear forest etc. I joined them all to find chat partners. But I needed more – I needed to feel a Man on me and in me again. That led me to Craigslist. "obedient submissive seeks aggressive Master". That was my headline. In the ad I explained I was 100% submissive seeking total control and training from an experienced Master. I listed few limits and claim to be open to all scenes. I got a lot of responses that I could tell were phony. But one struck me as serious. "While I doubt you are serious, if you are; be at the Starbucks on Beltlines Road at 7pm tomorrow evening. You will wear a tight pink shirt and short leather shorts . You will not see me; I will not talk to you. This is a test to see if you are serious. Send me you telephone number; I will text you while you are there. If I am pleased with your obedience I will email you further instructions." Master Jack. I emailed back; I will be there ,Sir."
I had to follow the instructions, it seemed like this was my last chance to find what and who I needed. I was scared what if it was a nut, or if I was recognized, my students came from all over town. But this was it, my last chance. I had pink t-shirt, but no "boy shorts". I was 52 and dressed conservatively all my life. I didn't even know where to find leather shots. I went to the old standard and found some on Amazon, ordered them same day delivery to make sure I had them on time. I was going to do it. I didn't care anymore if I got caught or if it was a nut, this was my last chance. I was hard but I didn't want to masturbate – I wanted to stay excited for him. I could hardly sleep thinking about the next step. I needed my sleep since I had to lecture all day tomorrow. All I could do was remember my times with Dr. Ben and the excitement I felt in his control. School was a blur – I hardly remember anything form the day. I showered and dressed. I looked in a mirror and it was not pretty. A 52-year-old man dressed like a 18 year old faggot. At least I was in shape, cycling a 10 miles a week had kept my body in good shape and with my shaved head it wasn't totally obscene Tight leather shorts and a tight pink shirt. But you could tell what I was by the way I was dressed, no one would miss guess I was queer. I guess that is what he wanted. I was hard, but since I am so small down their no one could tell. Three inches hard is not much to show off. It was 6:30 time to go, this was it.
I drove to the Starbucks and parked as close to the door as I could. I didn't want to spend too much time walking across the parking lot dressed like this. I was about to head in when my phone buzzed that I had a text message. "is that you, boy". It was him he must be in there watching for me. I answered "yes, Sir". "Come in and order a Chi tea. The find a seat and sip your tea." I headed in, the store was crowded. I tried not to make it obvious I was looking around for him, but I was anything but inconspicuous, I swear everyone in there stopped what they were doing and stared at me as I walked to the counter. I waited in line to order, there were about three ahead of me. When my time came the barista said "what will it be Sir", you could tell the Sir was said sarcastically. So much for the liberals and Starbucks. I ordered and got my drink and walked to an empty table. There were about five guys in the place, only three were alone. Two looked like students, only one seemed to be older, but he had his nose in a newspaper and I don't think he ever looked my way. I sipped my tea just casually looking around. The phone buzzed; "Go to the Men's room. Enter the stall and don't lock the door. Text me when you are there." I got up and headed to the back of the store and the restrooms. I went in the Men's and headed to the stall. I sat down and texted I was in the stall. The reply cam soon: "jack-off and do not lock the stall. When you done leave your cum on you hand and come out and sit back down." I sat in the toilet with my pants at my ankles and started stroking. It wasn't going to take long I was really excited and it had been three days since I jacked off. Just as I was finishing I heard the door open to the bathroom and heard steps to the stall. The door flew open and there was one of the students staring at me my pants at my ankle jacking off. It was fate as the door opened I shot a huge load all over my pants and legs. The door slammed as he screamed "Fucking pervert" and stormed out of the bathroom. I quickly got as much as I could on my hand and pulled up my shorts. I didn't want to go out there, that student would probably be there still. I was right as soon as I stepped out the was standing there waiting to go in. He just stared and laughed as I walked by, how humiliating. Just then my phone buzzed "Good boy, btw I think he told everyone." I sat back down and finished my tea. I must have sat there for an hour and I never heard anything form him. I just got up a left, I guess he wasn't interested. It was probably a joke, that student was probably the one who set me up. I guess he and his friends had a good laugh, ordering around some old queer. I was depressed, it wasn't going to happen. I drove home and cried myself to sleep. What a fool.
It was back to the routine. Get up, go to school, come home to my room, read stories on Nifty.org, jackoff and sleep and start all over. I had tried – it didn't work. It was just like Dr. Ben had said – no one wants you when you get old. I was really old now and it was really true now. Finally, Friday at least I didn't have to put up with students for two days. I headed to the store to get myself a steak and some wine to get drunk with so I could sleep through the weekend. I was in the store when my phone buzzed. "the Dallas Eagle, at 9pm tonight same outfit".