It occurred to me that even while protesting I was still on my knees...some protest!
As I looked up at Lee staring down at me, with his hands on his hips, he seemed even more imposing, more menacing than ever. His eyes seemed more slanted as if squinting, his mouth turned down at the corners in anger, no doubt at my moment of rebellion. Was it his expression that made him seem more menacing or the new threat he had hanging over me? A very imposing threat I might add. While I had entered this relationship willingly, there was always the thought that I could walk away when I wished, but now, definitely not so. Frightening, yes, but also strangely exciting.
Worm had mentioned the possibility of video, so this new threat was not entirely unexpected. However, now that it was reality and there was no doubt it would be used if there was any rebellion, it was extremely worrisome to say the least. If there had been any doubt as to Lee's complete hold on me, that was dispelled. It was total! No words needed to be spoken. It was painfully obvious that Lee had won again, as usual. I just knelt there, resigned to my fate. Lee, accepting my silence as acquiescence, stepped forward and once again had his way, and just as last time, I felt compelled to look up and meet his eyes at the moment he spurted. He looked down at me with what could best be described as an evil smile.
As I was leaving the room, humiliated and broken, Lee said, "Be available tomorrow. We'll all be going over to Mr. Von Der Linn's friend's place."
"What time?"
"I don't know yet. Just be around."
"Sure Lee, anything you say."
"That's right, Toad, anything I say," exaggerating the word 'anything'. Then he added, "And wear one of those t-shirts Kay bought you, or she'll think you don't like them."
"O.K. Lee, whatever you say." I would be more careful than ever from now on in my responses to Lee.
The following morning just as I was about to eat, the phone rang. It was Lee.
"Get out to the car now,"
He hung up without waiting for a reply. Well, why should he, I thought, I'm really his slave now.
I got up leaving my food on the table and hurried over. I was really hungry, but the idea of telling Lee to wait never entered my mind.
It had only been a few moments, but right away I heard the horn tooting rapidly. I ran.
There was Lee behind the wheel looking elegant in a designer Polo shirt and sun glasses. What a contrast to my outlandish bright yellow t-shirt with crimson red lettering proclaiming in bold print: "Lee's slave."
As grating as it was to see him sitting so confidently behind the wheel of my beautiful gleaming red Mustang, I had to admit to myself once again that he looked as if he was right where he belonged.
"Get in the back. I'm picking up Kay."
"Sure, Lee."
Lee, as was his custom, floored the accelerator backing out of the driveway, the Mustang actually spinning on the pavement as he straightened out on the road.
I gritted my teeth in anguish, but remained silent. What could I say, the car was in his hands to use as he pleased.
We drove to Kay's in silence, Lee breaking all speed limits and going through red lights and stop signs along the way. When we arrived he tooted the horn. Kay came bounding out of the house, gorgeous as usual. She was wearing white short shorts, a brief matching top and sandals exposing her recently painted toes -- painted by mom. Her long auburn hair was pulled back casually in a bun with a long pony tail hanging down her back.
I have said it before, but she seemed more beautiful every time I saw her. More desirable, but of course more and more untouchable. I felt again like a kid with his nose pressed against a candy store window looking in with no money,
Kay completely ignored me and got in next to Lee, saying, "Hi lover," then planting a long kiss on his lips. She always seemed to enjoy flaunting her relationship with Lee, knowing I would have to be jealous and envious of him. I think it was some sort of turn on for her.
For me it was crazy type mixed emotions. Who would not be jealous, envious and remorseful, having lost such a beauty to an arrogant, hateful individual such as Lee. I was still human, certainly not normal, but human. Why then did I find it so sexually exciting seeing them together like this, the dominant handsome Lee in complete control of my car, with my girl in his arms, and me in the back seat, his obedient flunky and slave, with my tounge practically hanging out with lust.
But then I had a very disturbing thought: where was the lust directed? For the beauteous shapely Kay, or the image of last night's Lee: proud, arrogant and so demanding, as if he had every right in the world to use me that way. My esteem and admiration for him was growing larger than my hatred. He felt superior to me for a good reason -- he was, and we both knew it. I remembered leaving Lee's bedroom last night feeling that nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. Events were exactly as they should be. I got off that night just thinking about it.
As we sped off, I had never felt more insignificant as they chatted pleasantly while I was completely ignored in the back seat as though not even there. Their hair was blowing in the wind; theirs, not mine. Mine was on the barber's floor where Lee had wanted it to be and I had complied. I moved a bit to the left to see my reflection in the rear view mirror. Grotesque -- and that nose ring -- Lee really knew how to demean and humiliate.
We drove a couple of miles out of town and then turned off on a side road leading up to a high fence with an iron gate, over which a sign read, 'Helm Ranch'. Lee spoke his name into an intercom and the gate swung open. We then drove about another half mile or so before we reached the main house, which was enormous, and, obviously, the entire place. There were several cars parked around the house and I noted that one of them was Worm's towncar.
We went around to the backyard where there were approximately twenty guests, some under a giant umbrella and some seated around the olympic sized pool, all teenagers whom I didn't know, except for a few. Notably, Herb and his friend Jason, and a couple I had seen around school. One of those from school poked his friend and pointed my way -- and they both sniggered.
Carter came over and greeted Lee and Kay, ignoring me, of course.
He then beckoned for someone to come over, and said, "I want you to meet our host."
He was about our age, tall and well built, in swim trunks, with one of those swimmers bodies. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, a handsome Aryan type.
As he headed our way, I noted two teens following a few paces behind him. Both were sullen and unsmiling and wore strange garb. There was a brief leather covering over their privates with leather straps, with some rings attached, that ran up their front, over their shoulders, and down their backs.
"Lee, Kay, this is my friend Kurt Helm. Kurt, this is Lee, and his girlfriend, Kay."
"I'm pleased to meet you both. Carter has told me about you, and Kay, you're even more beautiful than his description."
She blushed. I noted that after that he seemed much more interested in Lee, looking him up and down and staring. He then turned his attention to me.
His friendly demeanor changed to a frown as he said, "I suppose this is Toad." He looked me up and down inquisitively and said, "Interesting. I like what you've done with him, Lee. My compliments."
Lee replied, "Thank you, Kurt; glad you like it."
Wow, talk about a being a nonentity.
I found myself admiring Kurt Helm right away. Disliking him, but admiring his superiority. We had never met but already he treated me as an inanimate object.
"Why don't you two join Carter and Dawn for a while at their table. Have something to eat and later we can all have some fun, O.K.?"
Lee replied, "Sounds good to me Kurt."
There already seemed to be a bonding between them. Kurt snapped his fingers at one of the two teens that had followed him.
"Take two chairs to Carter's table."
His friendly demeanor once again changed instantly when he spoke to them. I don't know why, but I liked that. As one of them scurried off, he reminded me of myself under Lee's domination.
Kurt said, "If you want anything, just tell one of these," meaning his two lackeys. "They'll do anything you say."
Lee responded, "Thanks Kurt. You seem to have a pretty big crowd, and if you think you need help with anything you can use Toad."
Kay looked at me with an amused smirk on her face. She seemed to love it when Lee humiliated me that way, especially in front of others. No matter how low I had gone, being humiliated in her presence was still the worst...but also the most exciting.
"Thanks, Lee."
Then he said to me, "Go find Worm. He's waiting on tables or something, and he'll tell you what to do."
I really didn't know how to reply to him. 'Kurt' certainly seemed too familiar under the circumstances, and 'Sir' was a little much. He presented such an imposing figure that 'master' came to mind, but that was out, so I just said, "Right," and scurried off obediently.
I found Worm waiting on tables--right where he belonged, I thought.
"Kurt said you would tell me what to do."
Here I was again, subordinate to Worm again.
"About time I got some help, these people have been running my ass ragged. Get this, do that, hurry up. It's been non stop."
My first thought was, "So what? That's what you're here for; that's what I'm here for. We are not exactly invited guest's."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Stand by the bar and when anyone waves, run over and see what they want."
"What about those two guys that follow Kurt around? What are their names and what's with the leather harness?"
They're not much help and I never heard their names. Kurt calls one of them "One" and the other "Two." They're just like you and me--they do as they're told. As for the harnesses, you'll find out soon enough."
That sounded a little foreboding.
I spent the next hour or so running food and drinks for what were a very demanding bunch, especially my first customer, Herb, who immediately waved me over.
He chuckled, "Well, well, if it's not my favorite waiter. Toad isn't it, formally Rob, wasn't it?"
It was so obvious that he was enjoying immensely this power shift.
"I'll have the usual...Toad...and make it snappy."
Trying to make it sound humorous, but failing, I said, "Coming right up sir. Pina Coloda, wasn't it?"
I don't know why, but I was really opening the door for him by calling him sir and I knew it.
"Very good Toad, that's right. You make a great waiter." then he added, "or servant" then finally, "or slave, like it says on your shirt. I only wish that instead of Lee's name there it was mine. Yeah, I can see that in big bold print, Herb's slave. What an exciting idea. What would you think about that Toad, possible?"
I don't know why, but his line of conversation was a turn on. My throat was dry making it difficult to swallow. I could have shrugged it off, but instead I answered, "Everything is possible Herb."
His face seemed to light up at that. "Hmm, interesting answer, Toad. What is that saying..hope springs eternal? You have no idea how much I would look forward to that day."
Ours eyes met and it occurred to me that such a short time ago he had been Herbert the nerd, a follower, kissing up to me, the jock leader of the pack, who rebuked and ignored him. Now we were actually discussing the possibility of him taking over Lee's role in my life, and it was a big turn on for me...and i'm sure for him. Sort of how low can you go.
I brought Herb and his friend Jason their drinks and then made the rounds attending to the others, but paying special attention to Herb's needs. For some reason I found it exciting to do so. If his glass was nearly empty, I would hurry over and ask, "Ready for another sir?"
I was trying to make it sound humorous, but we both knew it was more than that. Herbert had struck a chord with me and it was exciting.
One of the guests in particular, I found interesting. A female teen named Lana. She was extremely attractive--long straight blond hair parted in the middle that hung down below her shoulders. Seated on the ground at her feet was an attractive female about Lana's age who was attired in the same type of leather garb as One and Two. Lana was seated at a table conversing with others as her friend sat silently at her feet. I suddenly remembered having once seen a photo of the friend in the paper. She was the daughter of a wealthy industrialist--an heiress. She seemed so out of place sitting on the ground.
After a couple of hours, "One" came over to me and said, "Follow me."
He led me out to a barn that had all sorts of tack, riding equipment, and some sulkies that looked like they might be for miniature ponies and said, "Strip."
"Huh, what's this all about?
"You mean they didn't tell you? Kurt is having sulky races today, and you're one of the horses. Lee offered you, so I guess that's it, right?"
"Yeah, I guess so, if that's what Lee said."
One's demeanor changed as he barked out, "Maybe you don't hear so good..strip!"
"O.k, o.k."
He then fitted me with the same type harness that he wore. The crotch cover had a thin lead that went between my butt cheeks leaving them completely exposed and fastened it to a piece that wound around at about chest height.
Then he rolled out one of the sulkies. It was a streamlined looking thing on bicycle tires with gleaming silver spokes and a small raised seat. The seat rested on a cross piece that had two extensions which had attachments for the driver's feet.
"One" placed each of the extensions through rings that were attached to each side of my garb, and clicked them in place. He bent my arms and attached the lower portions at wrist and below the elbow. He then placed what seemed to be a halter on my head. It had leather straps that wrapped around my forehead and then down and under my chin. He fitted a bit in my mouth, and to it a couple of long leads or reins. For all intents and purposes I had been transformed into a pony.
I was about to protest to this total stranger, but realized with the bit in my mouth my words were garbled. Then it came to me that how could I protest--Lee had given his o.k.
"This is your first time out, so I'm going to show you some of the ropes and what's expected of you. We have about a half hour and then it's post time."
He picked out a long black buggy whip, took the reins and hopped into the drivers seat. I felt a tug on the bit to the left, "This means go left, and so on." Then he tapped my shoulder with the whip, "This means move forward."
I heard a swooshing sound and just like that, my ass was on fire. "That means move faster."
Three more swooshes occurred in rapid succession and before the first fire had subsided my butt, upper rear thigh and shoulder were ignited.
"That means give it all you have. Your rider will determine when. That's up to him. A good rider is as important as a good pony."
He tapped my shoulder with the whip saying, "Come on. Let's let you get the feel of the track."
I started walking.
He tugged sharply on the bit. "No, no, never walk that way, always trot a little, you'll learn."
We headed down a long path to arrive at the track. It was impressive to say the least. It was a real training track, complete with a not-so-small grandstand for viewers.
Once on the track "One" tapped my shoulder a little more forcefully, but held firm on the bit.
"At this point I'm holding you back to get you in position. That will be up to your driver Lee. He's inexperienced so I don't know what he'll do. He'll probably whip your ass full out. Most new guy's do, then you'll have nothing left for the finish, except to probably get your ass kicked by Lee for having lost," he sniggered.
It occurred to me how this total stranger, along with so many others, now accepted the fact that I was Lee's to use and do with as he pleased. They must have discussed it...I wondered if they found it amusing and laughed.
"O.K. Toad, I'd really like to run your ass around the track and see what you've got, but that wouldn't be fair to Lee, wearing you out like that before a race. So let's just head back to the paddock and wait for the others. And oh yeah, keep those knees up and trot... It's one of Kurt's rules. Kurt likes that...so do I."
Treating me like a real pony that didn't know better, he tugged sharply on the bit in my mouth to the right and we headed back with me walking. I suddenly felt a painful slash across my right butt cheek. I had forgotten Kurt's rule, and immediately began a trot.
It was only a few minutes after we got to the paddock area that the other ponies arrived. They all wore similar leather attire, except that Lana's pony wore a leather bra. They had cards with numbers attached to their head pieces. Someone came over and handed a number to "One".
He placed it in my head piece and said, "You're number three. The numbers were drawn at random."
Next the drivers filed in. They all wore swim wear; some wore sun glasses. All carried long black buggy whips. They laughed and joked among themselves before taking their seats behind their respective ponies.
Worm had drawn the number one post with Carter at the reins. Number two I didn't know. Then it was my turn. Fourth was "Two" with Kurt in the driver's seat. Number five was Lana with her friend (or whatever) in harness. Six was a teen I knew from school. We had belonged to the same group. Sort of a hierarchy. I remembered he had been an arrogant s.o.b. He had smirked at me as he came in. His pony I didn't know.
We went out to the track in single file by number. This time I remembered to trot along with the rest. Was it humiliating? Definitely! But compared to some of the things required of me by Lee, it was a walk in the park. Besides, it was a good feeling to know there were so many others in the same boat so to speak.
I was really surprised when we all lined up at the head of the stretch behind a special starter's auto with extended gates, the same as at real race tracks.
The others had taken seats in the grandstand and were already cheering their favorites on as we followed close to the gate while it moved, slowly at first, then speeding up, to the starting point, which would also be the finish line.
The car veered off to the right and we were off and running. I felt the sting of Lee's whip, criss crossed on both shoulders and then my rump was on fire. "One" had been correct: Lee would whip my ass flat out, and all the way. He wanted the lead now, and I would give my all to comply. Worm and Carter, starting from the rail position, had the lead with Carter slashing away at Worm's already inflamed butt, intent on keeping that lead.
As we rounded the first turn I could see out of the corner of my eye that Kurt had dropped back and was last. I remembered what "One" had said and wondered if that was by design...probably "yes", I thought.
Worm was in better condition than I would have thought and held on to the lead determinedly. Lee was not pleased and showed his displeasure by applying the lash to my upper thighs with vigor. Very effective! I ran as if trying to outrun that infernal instrument of pain that Lee wielded so skillfully, gave more than my all and was able to pass Worm and move to the rail taking the lead.
I could imagine that Carter would not be happy and Worm's butt would pay the price. Better him than me I thought. Perhaps with the lead, Lee would let up. But that was not to be. Lee wanted to open the lead as much as possible, not thinking that he might burn me out.
That was not in Lee's realm of thought at all. Lee, of course, felt that I was his to use and do with as he pleased, and rightly so. After all didn't I even feel that way most of the time? He would demand that I get him to the finish line first, and I would obey.
The punishment continued unabated. In fact it intensified as we did in fact open the lead. My butt, thighs, and shoulders felt like they were on fire--sweat literally ran from every pore. But I actually felt proud of my accomplishment; that I was pleasing Lee, carrying my master to victory. I hadn't thought of the term master many times, even though there was no doubt that he was that. It just seemed so much more true so at this moment.
But then came to mind a phrase I had heard but Lee evidently had not: "A man cannot do what a man cannot do."
As we rounded the final turn, my legs felt like lead and I slowed down. The lash criss crossed more quickly--my shoulders, butt, and thighs were on fire as Lee shouted, "What the hell are you doing, we're almost there, move your ass."
I wanted to obey, to win, but I could not. One of the others passed me, then Lana, furiously whipping away at her pony. I noticed the sweat as it seemed to explode from her ponies shoulders. It was obvious that being female didn't get that pony any lighter treatment.
Worm and I, who had been first and second early on, were now last and next to last as Kurt swept by on the outside, making circles in the air with his buggy whip, and then bringing it down forcefully across the shoulders of "Two" as he passed my school acquaintance and Lana, winning easily.
Since most of the audience were Kurt's friends, there was a lot of applause. Kurt trotted his pony in front of the stands saluting with a big grin on his face.
The rest of us trotted off to the paddock area. My school friend was second, Lana took third, I was fourth, and Worm came in last. "One" had been correct: a good driver is as important as a good pony. Perhaps Lee would learn that if there was to be a next time.
Considering the great time everyone seemed to have..excluding the ponies of course..I was certain there would be a next time, maybe a lot next times.
Back at the paddock just as I was about to have my harness removed, "One" came over and said, "Leave his on." Meaning me. "And hers." pointing to Lana's pony. "A couple of Kurt's friends want to have a try with them." Interesting i thought, they are discussing us as if we were real horses with no say in the matter. Well why not, we didn't have anything to say about it.
A few minutes later the two drivers arrived. It was Kay and Herb. Herb was looking at me with a pursed lips smirk on his face. It didn't require much thought to know who would be in my sulky. Kay had no doubt been turned on by Lana's use of her attractive friend and wanted to experience what driving another female would be like.
I was completely exhausted from the ordeal of the race and looked forward to a rest, but Herb's pleasure would come first. Herb got up in the drivers seat as "One" handed him the reins saying, "Remember what I told you." Herb touched my shoulder lightly with the whip and tugged the bit in my mouth to the left with the reins. The tug was very forceful. I figured Herb wanted to let me know who was master now. As we headed out to the track, "One" shouted out, "Remember what I told you..remind him." I felt the sting of the buggy whip across each shoulder. I had just been reminded of Kurt's rule for ponies. Always trot, knees up. I know I should have felt anger towards Herb for the over zealous reminder, but strangely I did not. What I felt, besides the bite of his whip of course, was a heightened respect and even admiration for the new Herb.
Herb got some final instructions from "One" and we headed out to the track. Herb said, "Lee was really unhappy about your performance.He said your ass is mine for the rest of the day..Toad. Maybe some day that will be permanent..who knows. That thought was not as repugnant as it should have been for some reason. Actually I found it a bizarre turn on. Kay and her pony were already out on the track. They came breezing down the home stretch, Kay's hair blowing behind her in the wind. She was tapping her pony lightly with the whip and obviously having a great time, although her pony was not, sweating and breathing heavily through her mouth. Herb called out to Kay, "Hey good looking, how about a race." His familiarity with Kay was grating, but then, hey why not, anything is possible. Her good natured reply was, "Sure, why not, sounds like fun." We lined up as before, this time without the gate. Lana's pony looked over at me apprehensively. We both knew we were in for a rough time.